Love Is The Key That Frees You From Your Cage

Updated 11/14/2021

“We can only be kept in the cages we refuse to see” – Stefan Molyneux

What cages have you freed yourself from, or are working on freeing yourself from?

These cages have been created from stories that we tell ourselves. Stories of our unworthiness and insecurities.

“The stories we tell ourselves shape our lives.  They shape who we believe we are, and this belief translates into who we become.”  – John Assaraf

Maybe you have totally different cages locked away in the darkness than I talk about below. What I do know, is that we all have cages, and we all have the keys to unlock them.

For many years I kept the real me hidden and locked away. I wanted people to love me, so I hid away all of the insecurities and made a strong mask to wear in public.

I was a daughter to a wonderful mom that I loved, but was always afraid that some day she wouldn’t love me, because I had not been the perfect daughter. This was my own story, not hers.

I am a sister, who has been more a mother to my younger sisters and brother, than a sister. I love them all dearly and wanted to protect them from all dangers, but I failed them. This was my own story, not theirs.

I worked myself up the corporate ladder of a major bank, becoming a “master” at mortgage finance and earning the title of Director. Yet at the same time, I was hiding away the insecurity of being found out to be a fraud. I was a high school drop out without a college degree. This was my story, and I release it, and release it, and release it (lack of formal education is a sticky belief for me).

I am a wife to my true love, my best friend, my partner. Through 48 years we have seen good times and bad. We have four wonderful children, and now have 14 grandchildren, and four great grandchildren. Many times I smiled on the outside and was dying on the inside, because I didn’t know how to communicate my own needs. So instead, became a martyr for everyone else’s. This was my story, not theirs.

I am a student of life. I am confident and unsure. I am terrified and excited. I am a young girl and an old woman. I wish on stars and dream dreams. I have been through many transformations, walking through the valley of fire and shadows. I have stepped off the edges of cliffs so I could soar across chasms. I have climbed up steep mountains, only to ride the rushing rivers back down into the valley.

I am just like you. A woman of many talents, conflicting emotions, and insecurities. I have set myself free from many of the stories I told myself. because the stories themselves were just cages to keep me contained. There are more cages that await, more doors to be opened. I have a handful of keys to the cages, and I am continuing to transform every time I use a new one.

“People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages.”– Alain De Bottom 

Have you started rattling the bars of your cage?  It starts with learning to love all of the parts of yourself.  Letting go of the “I’m a Victim story”; the “The Villain story (either you or someone else)”; the “I am Helpless story”.  It’s about noting what you are really feeling; how you are acting or reacting; and instead of creating some drama around it with you as the tragic victim, get back to the facts before your creative editing.

I have set myself free from the cages I created with the above false stories – the cage of perfection; the cage of protecting others from life experiences; and the cage of not having a degree; all of which were locked inside the larger cage of “I am not worthy” and so must earn your love and respect with every step, knowing that nothing I do can satiate that kind of thinking.

I love myself as I am today, perfectly imperfect. And, I love myself for who I am transforming into.

“I believe we write our own stories, and each time we think we know the end – we don’t.  Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and in peace that comes from knowing that you just can’t know it all.  You know, life’s funny that way.  Once you let go of the wheel, you  might end up right where you belong.” – quote bites.com