Life’s Journey Is A Gift, You Decide How It Unfolds

 

“In life, finding a voice is speaking and living the truth.  Each of you is an original.  Each of you has a distinctive voice.  When you find it, your story will be told.  You will be heard” – John Grisham

I found the truth of this when I started writing these blog posts.  Each post dug deeper into who I really was.  Who I truly wanted to be in the world.  It demanded that I become visible, even though I was terrified to be seen.

• If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
• If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
• If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.

“We are either in the process of resisting God’s truth, or in the process of being shaped and molded by his truth”  –  Dr. Charles F Stanley

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.  Tip toe if you must, but take the step. Each foot forward is a reflection of the respect you have for yourself.

The journey to living my life on purpose has sometimes seemed very slow.  I was moving forward, but at times it felt like I was walking through mud with each step being a hard process.  Other times it was like riding the rapids downstream and a furious pace.

“Your journey has molded you for the greater good.  It was exactly what it needed to be.  Don’t think you’ve lost time.  It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now, and now is right on time”–  Asha Tyson

“When life takes me on a new journey, I simply remember the smile my first ballet recital put on my face and I move forward” – Andrea Thompson

Life brings you so many experiences to enjoy, but you can’t do that if you are always putting lenses of fear in front of your eyes.  Then you are not letting the experience reveal itself.  Instead, you’re trying to make it fit into a preconceived box.

What I discovered on my journey to be visible again, is that this voice of fear had been in control my whole life.  It colored every expectation and looked for ways to twist the story of what had happened to keep me captive in my invisibility.

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.  Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

As I worked on becoming visible, I met so many new friends, who were on their own journeys of discovery.  I became aware of how you attract those in your life that can help you in your journey.  Some lessons were painful, as the parting of the friendship reflected the places I still needed to work on.  Some of the friends were “soul friends” and as Rumi says, they were a pure joy in my life.

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy” –  Rumi

Be grateful for all the obstacles in your life.  They have strengthened you as you continue with your journey.  No one knows what changes, big or small, lie ahead.  One thing is certain, your journey’s not over.  Be prepared to be amazed at how incredibly, breathtakingly beautiful your life can become.

“Faith is not a light which scatters all our darkness, but a lamp which guides our steps in the night and suffices for the journey” –  Pope Francis

I know that I wasn’t born to follow others blindly.  I am still trying to figure out what I am meant to lead.  What I know for sure, is that I am capable of whatever is required to live my life purpose.  I am still on the hunt, for who I am becoming and I know that the only way out is through.  I see that I need to find more joy in my journey, instead of being single focused on manifesting it.

“You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner…, so relax, breathe, and be patient” –  Mandy Hale

And the journey continues…, ever onward.

• A journey of finding your true self.
• Of finding your power to live a fully lived life, without self-imposed limitations and fears.
• Of finding that delicate balance of living for yourself because sometimes you need to walk alone in this amazing journey.
• Of changing yourself, and thereby changing the world into something better than you started with.
• Of enjoying all of life’s experiences, even those you judged, and wish hadn’t happened.

Recognizing the truth that life happens for us, not to us.  And the journey continues…, never ending.

Humor Can Get You Through Almost Anything

Have you ever had that really close friend?  The kind that you can say anything to?  You know, how when you are really, really mad at your boyfriend or spouse, and you just want to kill them – and you tell all to your best friend, and she says something like – where should we hide the body?  “Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.”  LOL.  I love my girlfriends.  They not only let me bleed out all of my frustration about what is currently wrong in my life, they jump right in with more wit and sarcasm.  By the end of the conversation all is right in my world again.  Humor can get you to the other side of almost any heartache.

We need people in our lives that will serve as sounding boards for us.  They allow us to vent out what is wrong, so that we don’t bury it under deep levels of sarcasm.  “Bestfriend, the one you can get mad at for only a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.”  Unknown.  When we don’t have a way to work through and release the hurtful things said or done to us, we tend to bury the hurt.  Then either that person or someone we don’t fully trust not to hurt us makes a comment, not intended to hurt.  But, because we have the buried wound, it does hurt.  “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip”  Winston Churchill  What can happen then with sarcasm is it becomes unbalanced, in that it becomes a reflective action, in which we hit back before they can hurt us.  Having that someone that we can talk to, and tell them everything that is on our minds, is what helps us to keep out thoughts, mind and hearts in balance. 

The last few months of my mom’s life, humor was necessary and required.  We had friends and relatives coming from all over the U.S, Canada and even Germany so say goodbye to my mom.  She had the most powerful hugs and a laugh that you could hear at the other end of the stadium.  She could walk into a room of strangers and walk out knowing everyone and their life history.  She once went on a trip by herself to Taiwan, Hong Kong and had a blast.  Even though she could only speak English, she managed to make life long friends with people who didn’t speak English.  As people came to visit, they would out of habit ask, “How are you?”  Then they would be mortified because they asked it of a woman who had only weeks to live and was on morphine for the pain of lung cancer.  So we got these t-shirts and would wear them almost every day, which said “Really I’m Fine” with a picture of a black and white cow laying on its back with all four legs straight up in the air. The humor of the shirt helped everyone be ok with what was happening. “I’m not a smartass…, I am a skill, trained professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent sarcasm” Minion Quote  

“Our reaction to a situation literally has the power to change the situation itself”  Unknown.  Do you remember a scene in a movie, where the good guy is in deep trouble.  No way out.  And then they say something designed to tick off the bad guy, and you hold your breath and then the bad guy laughs and the whole scene shifts?  Do something that makes people present their best selves to everyone they meet.  Risk being seen, in all of your glory, not hiding a single refraction of your light.  Don’t just hope for the best.  Hope walks through the fire, faith leaps over the fire.    What you don’t know, but hope for, is what is killing your dreams from coming into reality.  The reason why faith leaps over the fire, is that it is the assured expectation of a reality not yet beheld.  It doesn’t just “HOPE”  it might happen or be possible.  “FAITH” knows that it is already done and waiting for you.

“It’s been a rough week, but on a positive note…, I didn’t need any bail money and didn’t have to hide any bodies”  Minion Quote.  Heartbreaks happen to all of us, but don’t let anyone break your soul.  Realize that a bad attitude is like a flat tire.  You have the choice to change it and go places, or sit there and have a pity party.  If you think about it, every strong person that you have read about or know personally had things go wrong in their life.  Usually a lot of things, that is why you think that they are a strong person.  Michelangelo in creating the statue David, removed more of the marble block as waste. than what remained when the statue was completed.  What we go through in life, removes all of the parts of us that are not needed.  When the divine is finished with us, what remains is a work of art.

And if nothing else gets you moving remember how many people you still have to prove wrong.  Lol 

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Storms Make Your Roots Go Deep

If you were in the first balloon with wind, lightning, and rain beating against you it might seem futile to struggle to fly the balloon to safety.  The storm could be internal or external, both can seem overpowering, even life threatening.  What we need to remember when we are going through a storm, is that the storm isn’t our destination.  It can’t rain forever.  The storm is just part of our path, and it will last as long as it needs to, in order for us to learn what is needed. 

There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.

  –  Willa Cather

When we are suffering through a real storm in our life, it certainly puts all of our other worries and concerns into perspective.  The loss of a job, health crisis, loss of a loved one, or a severe financial struggle, makes us wonder how we can get so mad, that someone didn’t put down the toilet seat.  We see how often we let trivial, petty things take away our peace.  If you think back the past few months, how many arguments have you had in your life?  And how many of those arguments can you not even remember what triggered them to happen?  Whatever it was, wasn’t truly important enough to lose our peace over.  It also helps us see, how many times the storm blowing through our life was created by us. 

A wise woman recognizes when her life is out of balance and summons the courage to act to correct it, she knows the meaning of true generosity, happiness is the reward for a life lived in harmony, with a courage and grace.

  –  Suze Orman

I love the analogy of a tree with deep roots.  The trunk and branches are what we live in the outer world.  The root system is our inner world.  During a storm, the outer world is what usually gets affected.  The leaves get blown away, we may lose a couple of branches.  But as long as we stay strong in our roots, our inner world, then we can withstand whatever happens in the outer world.  In fact, the storms can cause us to grow our roots even deeper.  That is how we stay in balance, living life with courage and grace.

When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words.

  – Thema Davis

When someone is in deep pain, we often don’t know what to say or do.  Sometimes we realize that nothing we can say or do, will make any difference.  Have you have ever been in the middle of a crisis or a life storm, thinking to yourself, I don’t know if I can take anymore?  The presence of someone who we know loves us, just giving us a hug, can be the one thing that gets us back on our feet, ready to withstand one more day of heartbreak.  Know that the light that shines from within you is creating a beautiful rainbow.

Pain means you’re growing.  Fear means you’re risking.  Tears mean it mattered.  Take what hurts you and let it help you.

  – Mandy Hale

In the moment of melt down, when we think that it is unbearable, we transform from the ashes like the phoenix.  We reveal our true self.   Instead of dying we awaken as though we had been in hibernation.  We become fully alert to what has happened for us (not to us) and we shake the sky as we shine through the darkness like the sun coming out from behind the moon in a solar eclipse.

I admire people who choose to shine even after all the storms they’ve been through. 

  – Joubert Botha. 

I love the book, Women Who Run With Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.  She writes that, we have created these doors from every storm in our life, and that if we yearn for a deeper, more fulfilling life, we have to start opening doors.  It reminded me of a saying, “The tiger and the lion may be more powerful…, but the wolf does not perform in the circus.” We have to free ourselves from the cages that we have locked ourselves into, as we perform in the circus of a daily life where we deny who and what we are.  We have to be willing, even if we think that we are not strong enough, to speak to what we have hidden and locked behind those doors.  We have to be willing to be wild and howl at the moon.

The truth is that we are never “ready” to face the unconscious.  There are all those parts of you that you hid away because you were ashamed.  The parts of you that are not worthy, not good enough.  The not pretty enough parts of our body, the not smart enough parts, the parts that were bullied and made fun of, and so on.  There is never the “right time” to unbury and reveal the real us. 

If you have yet to be called an incorrigible defiant woman, don’t worry, there is still time.

  –  Clarissa Pinkola Estes

The most courageous thing we will ever do in our lives is to stand up in the storm as it is happening and intervene.  To stand up and show the world who you really are, to reveal the beauty of your wild soul.  Instead of drawing back with your head held down in submission, own it, front and center.

As the quote across the photos said, you will not be the same person who entered the storm.  It is up to you to arise from the ashes.  It is up to you to unlock all of the hidden doors.  It is up to you to own all the parts you hid away.  To reveal yourself, no longer hiding and trying to be invisible.  Breathe.  Spend time in stillness and awareness.  Try new things.  Explore and seek connection with others who want to converse in the language of the heart.

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Imagination Embraces All That We Can Be

Do you want to change the world? Have you ever imagined what the world would be like without:

• Hatred?  
• Violence?
• Bullies?
• Prejudice?
• Intolerance?
• Fill in the blank ——-?

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”  – Nelson Mandela

One of my favorite non-profits is “The Unstoppable Foundation”.  Cynthia Kersey started this foundation out a burning desire to make a difference. Over the years that I have been supporting her work we have become friends. They have a sponsor a village model that they use across Africa, which brings not only education, which I believe is primary, but also clean drinking water and sanitation, medical, food and nutrition, and they help educate the parents for empowerment and income training, so they can raise up the entire village.  The plan is that after five years, the villages are self supporting and no longer need any aid.  They already have many children who have graduated and are attending college.  The five year plan is working.

Right now with the global pandemic most of the NGOs in Kenya have left or closed their doors.  The Unstoppable Foundation right now is asking for assistance to help those in need.  The situation is critical because there is no safety net in Kenya.  No stimulus, no CARES Act.  So The Unstoppable Foundation is asking for whatever donations you have in your heart to give.  Help these families in their desperate need.  A little goes a long way.  If you feel called to support a family across the world, click on this link.

What Malala has done so successfully, is that she makes peace heroic. Success comes about not because of what you accomplish for yourself with wisdom, but because of what you inspire others to do. We all love being inspired by a hero. We are all hungry for meaning in our lives. Malala is bringing that meaning to many young girls and women around the world through education with her foundation.

Education is the beginning of the answer.

“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel”  – Socrates

Education is the beginning of the journey. This is because book knowledge will only get you so far. It starts you down the path – but the path goes much further.  The kindling of the flame is in being curious, in the “wonder” of application of the knowledge.

When you learn something, it starts with the brain, taking it in. Then it is important to download that knowledge down into the heart so that it can be transmuted into wisdom. Wisdom comes from the correct use of that knowledge. Like the American Indian story, we all have two wolves inside of us.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

When you read, learn, and acquire knowledge you are acquiring treasure.  Walking further down this path requires wisdom or application of that knowledge.  It is “the one you feed” that changes you and thereby changes the world.

Cynthia Kersey and Malala both made the choice to feed the one that helps others.  That is their life purpose.  A purpose that comes from the heart.  This wisdom comes from the heart, not the head.

Martin Luther King Jr. stated that we needed to develop a world perspective, instead of a loyalty to some race, tribe or nation. I think that education of girls and young women has really taken this world perspective on, as it is moving from just a few countries around the world, to envelop the whole world. It will take them out of child marriages. It will provide them with both opportunity and choices.

It will not only take these individual women out of poverty, it will lift entire nations our of poverty. It is what will bring the world out of darkness and into the light. It is both hope and peace. Educating the minds, hearts and souls of everyone is what will change the world.

But what about us, as in each of us?  You and me?

“Education is the beginning of transformation.  Dedicate yourself to daily learning via books, audios, seminars and coaching”  – Robin Sharma

Your formal education may have ended years ago, whether it was completing high school, trade school, or college.  But what have you been doing lately to continue your education?  Are you a life long learner, as part of your transformational process?

You may or may not be a book reader.  If you are not a book reader, the use of audio books can make the commute to and from work a more pleasant experience.

I read books every single day in my life.  I love to learn something new.  I love to get that “click” in my brain when something reveals a new meaning to my understanding of life.  I love to find that small change that I can make in my own life from reading the stories of others.  Even my mystery and sci-fi books reveal new ideas that make my imagination take flight.

I love to share with others what I am learning about myself and the world.  I share because this is my passion – to discover new worlds within the one we all live in.  So I ask you to share – what is the book that you read that has most impacted your life?  The book that maybe you have read more than once?  The book that you have recommended to others?

Share your treasure with us.

Stop, Look Around, Believe In You

Insight is a new awareness about something.  I think it is easiest to see it play out in your life, when you look backwards in your life.  About 15 years ago, I started long range planning for what I would do in my retirement years.  I knew I wanted to have my own business, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.  I started attending seminars about holistic healthcare businesses, because I had been trained in Herbs, Aromatherapy and Reiki.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a practitioner with it, but I thought that if I leaned how to run a practice, it would be easily transferable to any other type of business.  At one of these seminars, I had a huge transitional life experience.

“Your perception of me is a reflection of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me”  – Unknown

The facilitator called on me, as I had raised my hand to share something with the rest of the group.  It was a large group of around 100 or so people.  He looked at me, like he wasn’t sure if he knew me, but thought he did.  He asked if I had attended any of their other events and I said yes, three of them.  That was when it happened.  He made a motion like he was removing a literal cloak off my shoulders and said, “You are one of those invisible people.  I am removing your cloak of invisibility.”  It felt like in every single cell, in each strand of DNA a shift  occurred in that moment.  I felt like a spot light was centered on me.  I was blinded by the spotlight.

I knew in that moment, that I could never be invisible again.  It was the beginning of a multitude of shifts and changes in my life, some of which are still continuing today.  Change can happen within a single moment, but if you are not open to awareness, it will pass you by.  If I had just thought, “that’s a stupid thing to say”, it would have passed me by.  Why?  Because I wasn’t open to it happening.  How many things happen around you daily, where you miss the opportunity to shift and change your life because you are closed off?

This is why, even though you say and do whatever you can to help another person, you can’t change them.  They could be drowning in a bathtub and all they have to do is stand up to save themselves.  But if they are not open and aware, anything you say or do hits an invisible shield and has no impact on them.  It breaks your heart to watch them self destruct, to hurt themselves over and over and not be able to reach them.  They have to walk their own path.

“Fight for the fairy tale, it does exist”  – Joy F

Just remember, that for them too, change can happen in a single moment.  For Snow White it was a kiss that dislodged the poison apple.  For Sleeping Beauty the kiss woke her up.  It may be that your loved one just hasn’t hit their bottom yet.  That when they hit their bottom, you hope that like the fairy tale they will wake up.  That they will see that they just have to stand up to save themselves.  What is sad but true, is that most of the time hitting rock bottom doesn’t affect people the way you think it will.  It can be as simple as life catching you by surprise.  Because your mind is not prepared, it’s not on guard.  In that brief moment something as small as a comment can slide into your consciousness unimpeded.  At that moment, your perception of reality changes.

“When you change your thoughts and perception, you change the way you live”  – Rita Zahara

When I look back I can see that it was literally as if my reality changed to a new place.  It felt like all of that was in preparation for LemonadeMakers, as it was just a few months later that my nephew was murdered, which was the catalyst for creating LemonadeMakers.  It was if the timer went off, and Sheryl’s destiny gears began moving everything into place.

“Sometimes in the wind of change, we find our true direction”  – Unknown

Insight is like a faceted crystal, or a kaleidoscope.  Every time you look through it you turn to a new facet, or with one click on the wand, the kaleidoscope changes what you see.  You see a new perspective.  A different angle.  There are so many levels of awareness about what you are trying to see or understand.  It is up to you to be curious.  To ask questions.  To look at the subject through different lenses to see another level of awareness.  So our picture at the top of the post for example, shows a light bulb with an idea that pops into her brain.  Then you see the gears, these are the levels of awareness that she is running her idea through.  The question mark, is her insights, that again start running through more levels of awareness.

“Perception is a wave.  You change as your perception of something changes because you define yourself as a reflection of whatever you happen to perceive”  – Frederick Lenz

There is a game that a friend made up.  You had these slips of paper, and during dinner you would choose one slip and read the question written on it to another person at the dinner table.  I remember once I had the question, tell me a story about your life that you don’t think I know.  I asked my dad and he told me this wonderful story about something that happened when he was a kid.  It totally changed how I thought he was raised.  A little curiosity opened a new awareness, an insight about a man I thought I knew.

“A man of awareness knows that life is constantly changing.  Life is change.  There is only one thing permanent, and that is change.  Except change, everything else changes”  – Osho

You have had something happen in your past that changed your life.  Do you remember when you were a kid in grade school and they had those pictures that were partly formed and you have to connect the dots to complete the picture?  Awareness many times happens, when we look backwards after a change has happened.  All of a sudden we see connecting dots to different small life changes that prepared us for the bigger life change.  We had no idea, insight, or awareness that these seemingly small changes, were in fact a part of the larger picture of where we were going in life.

“I can be changed by what happens to me.  But I REFUSE to be REDUCED by it”  – Maya Angelou

How is it possible to have life change you, yet not be reduced by those changes?

“The spirit of her invincible heart guided her through the shadows”  – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

My cousin had a fitness test at work that triggered a heart attack.   How do you go through “bad things”, and yet not be reduced by it?  Perception.  At first everyone was really upset that this happened.  They were talking about suing his employer.  But when it was discovered at the hospital that he had Graves disease everyone’s perception of what happened shifted.  Without treatment, Graves’ disease can cause some serious and potentially fatal health problems, including: An irregular heartbeat that can lead to blood clots, stroke, heart failure, and other heart-related problems.  So what happened at work could have saved his life.

Perception is the meaning that you give to the thing that happened.  Have you seen those pictures that have a hidden picture in it?  Where some people see a beautiful woman, and others see a hag with a pointed hat – depending on their perception.  When someone points it out to you, now you can see both women.  Your perception is changed.

So many possibilities of something positive coming from any experience – it will all depend on the meaning that you put to it.

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything”  – George Bernard Shaw

So open up new doors.  Shut the doors behind you that no longer lead to anything positive.  Trust in the magic of new beginnings.  Don’t make it complicated.  Just begin.  Join us in our next monthly call of April 4th and learn about what you can do to have a more positive and fulfilling life.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”  –  Lao Tzu

Leave No Path Untaken, May You Always Do What You Are Afraid To Do

It is easy to run away from your problems.  Fear is hard to face, hard to shrink, hard to work through.

Facing whatever is in front of you in life, is never easy.  But doing so is building a muscle.  The more you do it, the stronger you get.  It not only makes you stronger, but you gain confidence that you can use in every area of your life.

We’ll inevitably face challenges in life.  The best defense is believing that we are strong, we will survive, and we will be better for it – Lori Desehene

Each time a storm comes into your life, it is a chance to transform your life.  Whether you choose it or you fight it, some part of you will change.

The change can be beneficial giving you strength, determination, self-confidence.  It can bring you emotions of joy, happiness, and an expanded heart.

OR, you can fight the change, and become a defeated, bitter, a victim of life.  It can bring emotions of anger, grief, injustice, and hatred.

It all depends on the path you choose to walk down.

My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, with a short window of time before she would die from it.  The last 6 weeks I took care of her.  I have five sisters and one brother, and I am the oldest.  During those six weeks it was a reflection of what I am talking about here.  Some family members were there every day, others came only once or twice.  We had a service afterwards at her church.  Some family members came, and some didn’t.  That summer we had a family ceremony with all of her brothers and sisters and their families where we spread her ashes, and again some of my siblings came and some didn’t.

What I heard was how they couldn’t handle it – what I knew for myself is that even though it was the hardest thing I ever did, it was also the greatest blessing, and some of my siblings missed out on that blessing.

You can put a smile on your face each morning.  Then begin the stresses of getting the kids to school on time, breakfast made, going to work on time.  Then the car gets a flat tire or makes a horrible noise as you stop at a light.  The engine dies and it won’t restart.  Your boss reprimands you for something at work.  Your teenager swears at you and slams their bedroom door.  You get that phone call that our mom or dad is being admitted to the hospital with a heart attack.

The list could go on and on.  Each day, every week, every month, you have something that happens that stresses you out and makes you wish life was easier.

So, you paste that smile back on our face, and if asks you how you are doing, you say “everything is fine”.  You live a life on social media that only portrays the wonderful things in your life, because you’ve been taught that you don’t “air your dirty laundry”.

You think you have to pretend that you live a perfect life, because you think that everyone else does.

Let’s stop pretending things are ok when they are not, so we can pray for each other and know we’re not the only one who struggles – Renee Swope

• Sometimes when your life is not happy, you need to share that with a best friend.  You need to talk about it, because someone else is either going through the same thing or has gone through the same thing.   Stories tell you that you are not alone in any of your life experiences.
• Sometimes you just need a hug and a reminder, that while today is not the best day, there will be better days.  That what seems to be catastrophic and unending, is just a story you are making up about it to help relieve the stress and tension.
• Sometimes the bad things that are happening are waking you up to other choices in your life.
• Sometimes the bad things cause you to take out life’s road map and choose another way to your destination.
• Sometimes that change is the best thing that ever happened to you.

Have you ever had something happened that seemed like the worst thing, but when you look back on it, you realize that it redirected you to where you were actually trying to go?

Years ago, I took a new job, that ended up being short term.  When I was laid off, the mortgage market in Southern California had a small crash and I couldn’t find a job anywhere.  We moved in with my mom temporarily and ended up moving out of state to find a new job.  I had ruined my credit because of the long term unemployment.

It seemed like the worse decision I had ever made in taking that job that laid me off after only 4 months.  A bad decision that put my family at risk.

But in hindsight, the job I got laid off from, had given me a new skill, which turned out to be just what I needed to land the underwriting job that had been my goal for several years.  It looked like the wrong path, but was despite the rejection and pain, the perfect path.

You just need to believe in yourself.  We are all made in God’s image, which means that no obstacle, no mountain, no immense body of water – nothing can stop you, except you.

While you may sometimes feel that life is unfair, too painful, not worth it – the truth is that life is full of people just like you, trying to overcome each new obstacle.

Recovery is an acceptance that your life is in shambles and you have to change it –  Jamie Lee Curtis

So leave no path untaken.  Every single one has something wonderful hidden within it.

So, stretch and keep choosing a new path to the life you are stretching for.

To Grow, We Must Transform

How can you tell if you still might be in a caterpillar stage of growth? Some questions to think about –

Do I hide my value or discount the gifts that I have for this world?
Am I tightly guarded, afraid?
Do I feel like I am stuck in the mud, unable to move?
Can I see my potential, but don’t know how to unlock it?
Do I feel vulnerable, tossed about with no control?

Strength, Wisdom, Courage, These Are The Bags For Our Journey

When the butterfly has completed its change, the last step is to break through the chrysalis and unfurl its wings. Once they are dry, it is time to fly.  The butterfly must care for itself to both emerge and then complete the process of self transformation.

I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent.  Caring for myself is an act of survival. 

  – Audre Lorde

There is a story about how if you help the butterfly out of its coverings, it is crippled. This is because it needs to complete its growth through the releasing of its casing. If you enlarge the hole it creates, it deforms the wings. The same is true for us. We can be supported by the sun, to dry ourselves off.  We can be uplifted with the winds.  But we are the ones that must spread out our wings in order to thrive.

Damaged people are dangerous because they know they can survive.

  – LoveFromASelfHammer

Sometimes life’s struggles are to help us realize that we need to grow stronger to complete our journey. Being courageous requires us to be vulnerable. It is a sign of strength when we put ourselves out there. You can’t really experience life, if you live without putting yourself out there to really live life.  It is in fact a gift, this struggle, because all of us have far more strength than we ever dreamed possible.  You must do the thing that you think you cannot do. 

Strength comes from struggle. When you learn to see your struggles as opportunities to become stronger, better, wiser, then your thinking shifts from “I can’t do this” to “I must do this”.

  – Toni Sorenson

Remember Star Wars when Luke is trying to lift his ship and he struggles and gives up.  Then Yoda shows him.  Luke could have done it the first time, but he doubted, he had a lack of faith not in God, but in himself.  You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.  It would not have been placed before you if God didn’t know that you could do it.  It is there so that you can believe it yourself.  To grow your faith, for the next time fear stops you.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

  – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Looking at history, I think this quote best describes  two people who suffered in Nazi Germany.  Anne Frank, who still believed even after the things she experienced, that the world is filled with good people.  We can read her diary, as well as the writings of those who new her.  The other is Viktor Frankl.  His book “Man’s Search For Meaning” should be required reading for everyone. 

We run from grief because loss scares us, yet our hearts reach toward grief because the broken parts want to mend. 

  – Brene Brown

When struggles happen to us we have a choice, they can define us or refine us. For Anne and Viktor they refined them. They both chose to reach toward the grief and pain of what was happening to her, to her family, to her people.  They somehow knew, had that inner wisdom to realize that by reaching out, they was in fact healing themselves.  Those who become defined by their struggles are true victims. They can’t move past the horrible thing that happened. They encase themselves with what happened and choose safety out of fear. They stop growing, becoming deformed inside, until they learn to “let it go”. To break out of the casing and unfurl their wings.

Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure.

  – Bob Marley

Life is short.  Break the rules.  Forgive quickly.  Kiss slowly, like in the romantic movies.  Laugh uncontrollably and giggle whenever you can. Never regret anything that brings smile to your eyes as well as your face.  You take a chance of being wounded by living this way, but living any other way is not really experiencing life.

The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice.

   – Ernest Hemingway

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Grace Whispers To Our Soul, Lighting Our Way To Our Destiny

 In a recent notes from the universe, Mike Dooley wrote,

When life hurts, when it baffles and confuses, when it doesn’t seem to work, these are just signs from me – as if I were tapping on your shoulder or whispering in your ear, trying to point out that something really, really important, is being misunderstood.
Warm hugs,

  -The Universe

This is when we need grace to come into our life. When we need to shift our thinking. When we need reminding that life isn’t happening to you, it is happening for you. When we realize that we haven’t been listening to the whispers of the soul. When we finally notice that we are holding onto the present so hard, that we are preventing the future from being able to move in. 

There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path.  Don’t allow yourself to become one of them.

  –  Ralph Marston

Imagine that you are driving down a long flat desolate desert road. You see nothing for miles and miles but desert scrub brush and more road. It is late afternoon and the sun is nearing sunset. Every time you think you must be nearing the end of it, all you can see is more miles of unending road. Then from the backseat you hear for the hundredth time, “are we there yet?” Those sweet darling children that are hot, tired and hungry, whose constant refrain for the past two hours has been, “are we there yet?”

The impediment to action advances action.  What stands in the way, becomes the way. 

 – Marcus Aurelius

Obstacles in our path are actually a sign that we are making progress. Obstacles are not road blocks, they are stepping stones that confirm you are on the right path.  They are like mile markers on the long desert road. The numbers get higher and higher telling us how many miles we have actually traveled. They are proof of progress.

Eventually all things fall into place.  Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know everything happens for a reason.

  –  Albert Schweitzer

What we forget is that it is necessary for things to fall apart, in order that they can be shifted into coming back together in a new way. Think of the Rubik’s cube.  The goal was to get each of the colors solid on each of the six sides of the block.  They actually called them stress relievers.  Are we in resistance  when we are throwing the cube against the wall?   Or are we in acceptance that we can figure it out ? Are we there yet?  Do we have the vision to see obstacles as opportunities?

To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad.

  – Eckhart Tolle

The road being unending is just an illusion, just like the illusions of water on the hot desert road that disappear as we get close to them. How long the journey takes us is neither good or bad, it just the illusion that we attach to it that makes it seem that way.

We are like those children, with our journey of self improvement and personal development. We are constantly asking the divine, “are we there yet?” This is because we are constantly in resistance to our journey. We are resistant to transformation and change. This is where grace comes in, as we stumble towards the light. Grace is seen in the power of letting go and the power of moving on. 

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

  –  Socrates

Let the heat of the hot desert burn away all resistance. Let the hot winds of the desert strip away all of the excuses. Let the grace of a gentle healing rain restore your soul. Give up the need to know or understand.

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us.” Grace changes everything.

  – Anne Lamott

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Be The Drop, The Ripple, That Shifts The World

“No one in the world was ever you before, with your particular gifts and abilities and possibilities” – Joseph Campbell

At conception you were granted a “stone”, a sacred life purpose, that you are to “cast across the waters”.  That stone’s purpose is to create many ripples.  Those ripples begin to change you from the moment of casting that stone.  The ripples created also impact many others.  As you cast that stone you set out on the journey of discovering and living your life purpose.

As you walk that path, it shifts and changes both you and the world in some way.  This is because you are impacted by everyone else’s ripples.  Each ripple touches and changes the other ripples.

For each stone that is cast or not cast, there is a change in the water.  It doesn’t matter if you are someone who is hoarding their stone afraid to cast them, or you are one who grabs the courage and risks casting your own “stone” or life purpose.  There is always an impact.

“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion’– Paulo Coelho

You were born with a reluctance to change.  You resist it.  You fear it.  You create stories around every impulse to create change in your life.  Why?  Because you’re human.

You build walls, not to keep other people out, as much as to keep yourself safe within.

As a human you also have this calling to improve your life.  You demonstrate this every January when you create New Year’s Resolutions around the changes you want to make in your life.  Dreams you want to materialize.  Goals that you want to achieve.  You work hard to bring them into reality.

The funny thing is that you keep these competing challenges active in your life.  You don’t want to change, yet you want your dreams to come into reality.  You make it hard work by fighting yourself internally around the changes you earnestly desire to make.  You don’t know what is worse, that you try and fail, or that you try and succeed.

How do the doubts show up?  You are afraid that you will lose your soul along the journey to success.  That you will become too proud; that money will change you into someone you won’t like; that the cost will outweigh the benefits.

You are also just as terrified that you will fail to live your soul’s unique version of success.  You compare your journey with all of those that you know.  You compete, you judge; You are envious, or you pity their fall from grace.  You are full of the dark emotions such as anger, regret, worry, blame, guilt and fear.  You have people in your life that threaten your peace of mind and your self-worth.  Worst of all you have your own judgmental inner self.

“We realize the importance of our voice when we are silenced”  –  Malala Yousafazi

You may have been given a powerful life purpose, such as Mother Teresa and Malala.  You may have been given a small vision and life purpose.  No matter how small or powerful your life purpose is, you will come up against obstacles in fulfilling it.

You have made up stories about what has happened in your life since childhood.  Those stories will either weaken or strengthen you, depending on how you have cast yourself.

The choice is always within to cast your stone and live up your full potential or hide from your true potential and play small.  When you play small you will cast blame your parents, your “ex”, your employer, or your best friend who provided the knife that stabbed you in the back.  That way you can create the victimhood that keeps you safely hoarding your “stone” and refusing to allow change to transform you into something powerful beyond measure.  To transform you into who you are meant to be to fulfill your divine purpose.

“Just as one drop of water creates countless ripples, so does one gesture of kindness or love change countless lives”  – Randi G Fine

Water is an ultimate teacher for you.  It changes shape to adapt to its situation.

Steam, fog, a cool refreshing liquid against your skin, a single snowflake, a sheet of ice or a mountain glacier, a hot volcanic pool of water that would be death to enter.

Oceans waters waves kiss the shoreline gently, in a storm it pounds against the rocks wearing them down into small particles that get dragged deep onto the ocean floor.  It carves into the earth deep canyons and flows down those same canyons as a beautiful waterfall.

It both gives and takes life.  It is neither good or evil, light or dark.  It reflects back to you how if you take action with your stone or conversely you have inaction with your stone, still an impact is made on this earth.

In a different way, you can have what they are now terming “Raindrop” moments.  This is the disruption of a certain type of business, by new developments that take over in technology.

Think of things such as physical books in print, newspapers, music in CD/Albums, which have become digital.  Think of live streaming and all of the options you now have in watching movies and T.V. and the loss of business with cable companies and how it is changing the nature of both entertainment and business.

We can see the future disruptions in the movie and TV industries, changing from having human actors to artificial actors.

We see businesses such as Taxi’s being impacted by new businesses such as Uber.

These are all the results of someone who cast their stone across the water and created a ripple that was felt around the world.  They made an impact.

Change happens whether you want it to or not.  What water has to teach us is the ability to adapt, to improvise, and to overcome.  It teaches you to shift your shape and transform.  You have your “stone”, the divine purpose that you are here to achieve.  The method of how you are doing so, is within you.

The ability to change, shift your shape, to transform, is what brings you to success. You must be that change that you wish to see in the world.  If you think that world hunger is wrong, what are you doing to feed someone?  Whatever you have strong beliefs around, what are you individually doing to make that change in your own space in this world?

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks”–  Christopher Hitchens

Be like water and adapt, improvise, overcome, shift your shape (consciousness), transform.

At some point in your journey you will come to a crossroads.  You will have to pick a path (without any ability to know), if it will or will not lead you to your destination.  You have to ask yourself that unanswerable question, Do I go forwards, backwards, left, right, diagonal?

Steve Jobs asked this question to John Sculley when he was vice president at PepsiCo, before Apple was a household name.  “Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want a chance to change the world?”

Do not allow anyone’s definition of who you are, including your own, to define who you are.  Like water, you can transform into what is needed to travel your own unique path in life.

The important thing is to stay curious, keep looking for open doors, keep asking unanswerable questions.  To quiet the mind, and to listen to the soul, which is the source of the unanswerable questions.  To go deep within, to visit and learn from the place our of real existence.  Promise yourself, to not permit fear of failure or fear of greatness keep you frozen in place.

“Believe in yourself and all that you are.  Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle” –  Christian D. Larson

That something is divine guidance, trust in it and don’t stop.

Listen To Your Soul

 

When you can quiet the fluctuations of your mind and drift into stillness and silence, you can finally hear the whispers of your heart.

  –   davidji

Silence isn’t just empty space.  It is the container that holds all of the answers.  But you can’t access it, until you release what you think life should be.  It is only then that you can begin to see what is, and accept it.  When you can process life as it is, only then you can see what it can be.  That is the beginning of the journey of transformation.  Because it is only in this place that you can begin to hear the sound of your soul.   

True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.

  –   William Penn

It is in the silence you begin to hear your own heart.  It is in the heart that the soul hears the whispers of the divine, Gods answers.  This is where true intelligence is, not in the mind.  By listening to this voice, you see things in a different light, a different space.  This is the space that you hear God’s voice answering those prayers for direction.  That is the space where your soul is at peace with your minds thoughts.

Dare to stand before those you fear and speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.

  –   Maggie Kuhn

This is where what they call “out of the box” thinking occurs.  It is the place where the curiosity starts, where creativity lives, where you can find the right solutions.  It is the place of firm collaboration of the mind, body and soul.  Where the spirit and soul commune to stand in an overwhelming force for doing the right thing, regardless of what anyone else is saying or doing. 

 It’s a shame when the things that are on your mind and in your heart, never reach your lips.

  – Unknown

The worst thing that can happen is for people to be too ashamed, too scared, or feel too unworthy to speak their own truth.  When other people to try crush you because you don’t share the same religion, the same culture, the same language, the same color of skin, or the same sexual orientation the human race is being robbed.  We should welcome all expression.  Risk being seen, not just in all of your glory,  but with all of your imperfections..

The biggest bully most of us will ever face lives within us, located inside our own heads.  The screaming thoughts that we hurl at ourselves about ourselves, we would never allow anyone to say to us.  We worry about what kind of person we would be if we let loose who we really are.  That we are too much, too emotional, too loving, too sensitive.  That we are a bad person; that everyone would judge us as not enough and we will be destroyed.  We don’t give ourselves the love we give to others, the grace and forgiveness that we give to others. 

 Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.

  –  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Like most things in life, silence also has it shadow that gets expressed out in the world.  Martin Luther King Jr. wrote about this shadow when he said:

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. 

  – Martin Luther King Jr.

This is what all civil unrest and protests comes from.  Something that matters so much that they are willing to step outside of fear of judgment or retribution.  I know that to me these people are like modern day Joan of Arc’s.  Their bravery lies in standing in protest, being willing to be beaten, hit with water cannons, or tear gas. To be arrested or even the ultimate sacrifice of their lives.  I may not always agree with their beliefs, or their methods.  But I do praise their courage that they are willing to stand up for their ideals.

They say that time heals all wounds.  It isn’t the passage of time itself that heals.  It is the knowledge and application of that knowledge (using it wisely) that heals.  I know that from the murder of my nephew, there are stages of grief.  The more distance there is from the actual murder, the more time the raw emotions have to pass through you.  It is the emotions that create the pain and suffering.  But you can only live in that place of raw emotions for so long.  If you don’t process through them, they will literally drive you insane.  It is self preservation that moves those emotions through you.

The ultimate way of Being lies beyond all contradictory pairs of opposites with which our two dimensional thinking mind operates.  As soon as we are successful in silencing the restless activity of the thinking mind and give a chance to intuition, the pure all embracing spirit in us will manifest effortlessly.

  – Anagarika Govinda

Intuition and creativity takes you on a wild ride of so many options and choices, it is life inspiring, life fulfilling, and more valuable that all of the gold in Fort Knox. This is because life is not just light and dark, and choices are not just this or that.  We live in a multi-dimensional universe, and we were created in God’s image.  Each of us has the power of miracles within us.  When we embrace his spirit and power, we manifest our divine destiny.

 Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

  –  Eleanor Roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt is one of my heroes.  She is on my bucket list of people that I would love to have a long visit with.  She has such great wisdom, and she was an amazing woman.  When we operate from that space of great minds, the soul speaks. 

The quieter you become, the more you can hear.

  –  Ram Dass

It helps when you surround yourself with people who can hear the sound of your soul, as well as their own.  If you listen to the voice of intuition, the voice of the soul, you will find the way of life that you love, that was designed just for you.  Then all that is left is to have the courage to live it.

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You Are Stronger Than You Think

“Don’t be satisfied with stories how things have gone with others.  Unfold your own myth” –  Rumi

Stay strong, even though you have every reason to breakdown.  Strength doesn’t come from the doing what comes next or what is expected.  It comes from doing what you think you can’t do.  Strength comes from breaking through and blasting past, what you didn’t think that there was any possibility to do.

For years no one believed you could run faster that a 4 minute mile.  Doctors said it was medically impossible.  It was a barrier than remained in place for years.  Then in 1954 Roger Bannister broke the record, then 41 days later his record was broken.  Once the myth was broken, the records were broken over and over.  It now stands at 3:43:13.

Unfold

your own

myth

When you are down in that pit of despair, what gets you up and out of it, is listening to the sound of your heart beat.  That small still inner voice, the one that constantly gets beat down by the voices in your head.  It is that small voice of the heart beat that tells you what you are really capable of.

You must listen to what it says, when it whispers, “you will make it through this, and this will make you stronger for tomorrow“.

“There is an invisible strength within us; when it recognizes two opposing objects of desire, it grows stronger” –   Rumi

It is in the journey itself, that you develop the strength to continue the journey.  It is the spark that lights the flame, which lights the way. Into the darkness your strength shines forth.  Out of the ashes, you arise again and again.

Within your soul, you are a limitless divine expression of God.  You are made in his image.  Every single day you have the opportunity to create the life of your dreams.

Your stories are powerful.  They are important.  They must be told.  Do not be ashamed of the steps of your journey.

While you may see failure after failure, others see a strong woman who continued moving forward.  Who didn’t stop, never gave up.  While it may seem like you took a step or two backwards, you continue to move forward.

Invisible strength is forged in the fires of transformation, hammered in each step of the journey, you grow stronger and stronger.

“Our fate lives within us, you only have to be brave enough to see it” –  Brave

There is within all of us, light and darkness.  It can’t be seen; it casts no shadows.  But like the wind, you can feel the results of its passing.

The combination of light and darkness is what makes your soul fierce.  It strengthens your heart and mind.  It is the collaboration of all of your parts, that make you a whole human being.  It is when they combine, that your passion is ignited in your soul, and you are finally ready to transform.  To breathe in the inspired divine breath.  To break loose from the barriers and boundaries of who you were told you were, to who God made you to be.

It is when life seems to be failing you, that you discover the deeper powers that lie buried deep inside of you.  It is when you think that you have lost everything, that you find the only reason left to live.  It is that moment when you discover what you are made of.  That you see just a sliver of what you are truly capable of.

It is terrifying, soul expanding, and it seems like the fire of the crucible will totally destroy you.  It is when you discover that you are in fact only now truly alive.   The joy of life in that moment, burns out the pain of transformation.

“Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us more effectively.  Look for the learning” – Louisa May Alcott

I love the line, look for the learning.  It is the silver lining in every situation.  It is funny how when you look back at life, so many little decisions you make combine into patterns that create the tapestry of your life.  Each thing nudges you forward.

Like the baby learning to walk, it is sometimes hesitant, sometimes stumbling, and sometimes falling.  But each time you get back up, you get closer to your destination.  And when you reach one destination, a new path opens before you, a new challenge to grow, a new opportunity to learn.  Always look for the learning.

PM us if you would like to have a conversation around unleashing the powerful being that you are.