Self Confidence Is The Best Outfit, Rock It, Own It

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

  – Rumi

As I learned to love myself, my relationship with everyone changed. 

People who lack the clarity, courage, or determination to follow their own dreams will often find ways to discourage yours.  Live your truth and don’t EVER stop!

  – Dr. Steve Maraboli

Loving myself leads to a clarity of my mind and heart. It gave me the courage to say “no more” hiding behind the masks. To say “no more” living in fear of what others will think of me. To say “yes” to me! The heavy armor I had built around me to protect me was in fact made of fear and stress. As I dropped it all behind me, I was left floating free in joy and freedom. 

Love yourself enough to take the actions required for your happiness…, Love yourself enough to cut yourself loose from the ties of the drama-filled-past…, Love yourself enough to  move on.

  –  Dr. Steve Maraboli

I knew in my bones why I was here on earth. I may not always be clear on what to do next, but I am clear as crystal as to where I am going. Clarity of mind is how you find purpose in life. It in turn is linked to clarity of passion, which is the fire of your soul to fulfill your purpose.

Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of their heart.

  – Rumi

I believe that when we tear down the barriers we have built against loving ourselves, that we dispel the veils of illusion that obscure the direction of our life path. Love is an energy that engages us in life in a whole new way.

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.

  – Maya Angelou

Life is about breaking our own limitations. It is about outgrowing who we were. It is about living our lives, by outgrowing ourselves over and over. It is about being curious and opening doors and finding new paths to explore.

Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful, without needing someone to tell you.

  – Mandy Hale

There is a voice that comes from deep inside of you.  Sometimes it doesn’t even use words.  Instead you feel something in your heart, or in your gut.  You just have a knowing about something.  Listen to that voice.  The voice of intuition is your souls voice.  It knows who you really are, without the self judgment, the limiting beliefs, the lies that you have told yourself for years.  Instead, look into the mirror, looking into your own eyes, and saying the words below.  For me it was the hardest thing I have ever done.  It was harder than giving birth without drugs (lol) after nineteen hours of labor.

I am pretty enough (beauty comes in all shapes and sizes)

I am smart enough (I can learn whatever I need to know)

I am talented enough (everyone has their own unique qualities of divine genius, mine is writing) 

I am loud enough (my voice is worth being heard)

I am tall enough (3″ heels work wonders)

I am “normal” enough (what is normal anyway?)

I am strong enough ( I know my weaknesses and move forward through them)

I am experienced enough ( I have learned from my mistakes)

I am more than “ENOUGH” for anything and anyone just by being myself

Your heart is the size of an ocean.  Go find yourself in its hidden depths.

  – Rumi

Life is a journey of first learning to love yourself, and then extending that love to everyone you encounter.  It is putting the best possible explanation to every situation.  When we truly love ourselves, it tells others how to treat us.  While there will be those few people who are so dysfunctional as to take advantage of us, we will receive way more in blessings than we would ever lose. 

Once you reunite with your clarity, let it lubricate your parched soul, be the wave you glide on and the energy you give your body to.  Allow it to be the friend you become powerfully fearless with, and the very medicine you need to dissolve your empty parts.  Let it halt your restless yearning and lead your beautiful heart.

  – Victoria Erickson of Rebelle Society

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Challenges Change Everything

Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge – Eckhart Tolle

In 1885 the first practical auto was driven down the road.  The horse and buggy industry didn’t take notice.  They felt that this new fangled invention was just a temporary fad.  A few years later this industry discovered they were wrong, as the auto took over the roadways and became the common mode of transportation.

In March of 2009 Uber was founded and it is doing the same thing to the taxi industry.  In a few years the same thing will happen with the long-haul trucking industry as driver-less trucks will become the norm.

One of the constants in our world is change.  If you aren’t paying attention your industry could be impacted, and you might no longer have an occupation.

Just like these examples, most industries that we know and recognize in a certain way today, will at some point in our future totally change.  Most will be caught unaware when it happens.

In our personal lives, the same thing is true.  Everyday in some way, you are a new person.  In the past 24 hours you have probably learned something new.  You have probably changed your mind about something.  You realized, due to getting more information, or looking at it in a new way, that maybe what you thought about it wasn’t 100% true.

You outgrew a belief.  You adopted a new belief.  You released an old belief.

There are moments which mark your life.  Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts, before this, and after this – N. Kazan

Change builds resilience in you.  Resilience isn’t being numb to the changes.  It means that even though the change you experience may have felt like you are a failure, or hurt you in some way, that you kept going.

It takes courage to let go of what can’t be changed.  Sometimes this means that you have to learn a new job skill.  Sometimes you have lost an arm, a leg, went blind or deaf.  It takes courage to find a new and different way to still be able to live the dreams you have for yourself.

When I was growing up, I realized through hard life lessons that my parents were not, and could not be the foundation of my world.

When I married my husband, I thought that he would be the foundation of my world, and through a hard life lesson, I learned that this was also not true.

Then I thought that God would be the foundation of my world and discovered that this also was not true.

I had to be the foundation of my world.  Then on that foundation, I could build my spirituality, my family, my friends, my career, and everything else in my life.  But I had to build them upon me, as my own true foundation.

The reason this is true for me, is I had to accept responsibility for just me.  I had to accept reality, and not try to push decisions or the results of those decisions on anyone else, including blaming God for what was happening.

I had to be the one.  I had to be the “hot coal”.  If you have ever had to heat your home with wood or coal, then you know that if you bank the fire at night, it is easy to get going in the morning.  This is because underneath the cold looking ashes, lies a hot coal.  It is easy to get the fire going again with those hot coals.

There is no way for me to be a perfect woman, but there are a million ways I have can be a good wife, mother, sister, aunt, niece, and friend.

Look around you. Everything changes.  Everything on this earth is in a continuous state of evolving, refining, improving, adapting, enhancing . . . , changing.  You were not put on this earth to remain stagnant –  Dr. Steve Maraboli

You need to be like the hot coal.  You don’t want to be like a burning match.  When the winds of change blow into your life, if you are the match, you will burn out quickly and die.  But the winds of change blowing on the hot coals will cause you to burst into flames of light, and not burn out.

What you believe defines you.  What you tell yourself about who you are, how you react to change, is all a part of this definition of who you are.

In the cover photo you see the same tree.  The same field.  But each section presents a different season, time of day,

When you try to remain safe inside of the box, and resist change, you inhibit the natural growth that is supposed to happen in your life.  You in essence become a desert deep inside of yourself.   You stop living your life.  You stop loving yourself. That is the real tragedy in life.  You just stop living and just keep existing.

All you can change is yourself, but sometimes that changes everything –   Gary W. Goldstein

It really is up to you how you live your life.  You can’t blame anyone else – not your parents, or your spouse, your boss or God.  You can choose the green grass – a beautiful life; or you can choose to walk through the dried up dusty abandoned land of blame and abdication of change and the responsibility that it entails.

What’s In Your Backpack?

Sometimes you don’t realize the weight of a burden you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release.

 – Unknown

Have you ever had several inches of your hair cut off?  For many years I would grow my hair long enough to cut and donate to “Locks of Love”.  When they would cut off that much hair, my head would feel so light, like it was floating.  It only lasted for a day or two and then the new normal would kick in.  The weightlessness feeling would disappear. 

Have you ever felt that same way when you left a bad employer?  Ended a bad relationship?  Walked away from something that was consuming your life in a bad way, like an addiction?  Did you feel free?  Like a heavy weight had been lifted?

A smile can hide so any feelings; fear, sadness, heartbreak . .  but it also shows one other thing:  strength.

 – qutoesforbros.com

We all of us sometimes smile, and pretend our world is perfect.  When really deep inside, our world is being carried on our backs, and we can see it tipping us over.  We can see that we are about to lose it all.  We can see it, slipping off our shoulders.  It’s like the weight is crushing us to the ground.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we take on too much?  We don’t ask for help.  We don’t want to fail.  We don’t want to be seen as needy.  We tell ourselves we must be perfect 24/7. 

Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are. 

 – Bernice Johnson Reagan

Maybe what the life challenge is all about, is to teach us that this idea of perfection or not needing any help, will never work long term.  It might get you through a challenge or two.  But eventually it will become too heavy, and we will fall down.  We need to learn to receive as well as give.  We need to learn how to unpack our bags.  To let go of the things that no longer serve us.  We need to look at each item in the bag.  Are these socks really ours or do they belong to someone else?  What about that ugly top that we hide in the closet, who does that belong to?

We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

  – Unknown

I think of the example of going grocery shopping with either a hungry spouse or your children.  You are walking down the aisle and getting the items on your list.  When you are not looking, they sneak things into the cart.  They hide it underneath something already in the cart, so you can’t say no. Then when you get to the check out line, you discover five things in your cart that you didn’t put into it.  We are like this in our personal lives.  We not only cart around other peoples items in our bags, we pay for them too.  That is the best reason to have someone help you unpack.  They can help you figure out who those socks and ugly tops actually belong to. They can help you release them back to their true owners.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light.

  – Tea Bag Quote

We do this unconsciously for the most part.  Part of it comes from the initial wounding experience that you had as a young child, sometime before the age of 8.  For some reason so many people I know, including myself, it is age 4.  You experienced a childhood trauma, which impacted how you view the world.  What also happens is that you take on some of the problems as your own, that came from the other person involved in your wounding. 

If you want to fly, you’ve got to give up the things that weighs you down.

 – Savannah Smith

For example, in my own case, I walked in on my mom having an affair.  As an adult I had a problem with trust.  It wasn’t that I didn’t trust others so much as I didn’t trust myself.  This caused me to attract untrustworthy people into my life.  I finally through years of transformational work discovered that this issue wasn’t about me at all. It was about my mother.  When I released this baggage everything in my life shifted, because I finally knew that I could trust myself.  I was carrying around a mountain that didn’t even belong to me.

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light.  Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.

  – Glenn Clark

We all do this.  When you go camping, they tell you to put your food up in the air between trees so that wild animals can’t get to it.  In our backpacks, we have these items that attract the “wild animals”.  We attract these experiences into our lives over and over again.  We have a pattern of the kind of friends we attract; the kinds of significant others; the kinds of jobs; etc……  Why does the same thing keep happening to us? 

Keeping baggage from the past will leave no room for happiness in the future.

  – Wayne L Misner

We are attracting it into our life, it is our “wild animal”.  What the transformation process does, is it helps us to unpack our backpack.  To see what is really inside.  What are we carrying that no longer serves us?  What are we carrying that belongs to someone else?  What grudges, slights, hurts, and painful mountain heavy experiences are we carrying in our backpack?

It’s not the heavy load that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it.

 – Lena Horne

We are only meant to carry the load for a short time.  The time of the experience happening.  Not months and years later.  The weight of the past must be released.  You are meant to find the gold, and let go of the rest of the boulder.  Refocus on where you are headed.

Even the boulder that you are currently carrying, that you are trying to find the gold in.  The weight of that boulder can be lessened if you confine it to the lesson itself.  Sometimes we take the lesson to mean that we can’t do anything right.  That our whole life has been one failure after another.  That we are doomed.  That our existence itself is a burden.  None of those things are ever true.  It is our mind pressing down from the weight of every single burden we have ever carried, into one gigantic mountain.

When I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me.

 – Healrhyplace.com

You need to give yourself the gift of forgiveness.  The gift of compassion.  The gift of redemption.  The gift of letting go.  Get a piece of paper and start unpacking your backpack.  Write down every untold story that you have inside of your heart.  For years I blamed myself for my parents divorce.  If only I hadn’t opened her bedroom door, I wouldn’t have uncovered her dark secrets, and my parents would still be married.  But the truth is that had nothing to do with me, and was the result of their bad decisions and choices over which I had no power.  We all have these stories inside of us that must be released.  That must be unpacked and let go of.

So stop carrying the mountain.  Unpack your backpack.  Release the weight of the past. 

Always pray to have eyes that see the best, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith.  

– Unknown 

Give yourself the gift of seeing the best things in your backpack.  Of forgiving the worst things that you blame yourself for.  Of forgiving the bad things that happened to you, so that you don’t carry the weight of other peoples sins inside of you.  And never lose faith that everything in your life can serve you, if you give yourself the gift of love and forgiveness.

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Will You Answer Destiny’s Call?

Overcome Fear, Behold Wonder

In the world, in this moment, many are being overcome with fears.  Fears of the pandemic.  Fears of losing your elderly loved ones to illness and disease.  Fears can be based on past experience, of knowledge of something that has happened in the past.  This past fear is then projected into the immediate future of a danger that is seeking you.

Instead, Take a deep breath.  Just be aware and conscious of just this single moment.  This moment of inhalation or exhalation of your breath.  When you just concentrate on your breathing, you see how to live outside of this kind of fear.

In this moment, you are alive, breathing.  Your eyes are taking in what is around you.  Your ears are hearing sounds both from near and far.  You feel the softness of the material of the clothes you are wearing.  Maybe the way the tag on the collar of your shirt irritates your skin.  You think to yourself that you have to remember to use the scissors and cut that tag off.

If you have been outside, you might feel the rain drenched softness of the ground under your feet.  The soft dirt clings to the bottom of shoes as you sink into it with each step.  You smell the scent of rosemary as you walk along the path, its heady scent drifting on the breeze.  The sounds of the waves crashing down on the shore drowns out the call of the sea gulls, as they ride the air currents high above you.  You are awake and aware of the wonder of life itself.

If are in a state of fear, you won’t be aware of any of the sounds or smells of nature around you.  So, your choice in this moment is are you to be overcome with fear, or filled with wonder?

Think of those advertisements you might see for going to Disneyland or Disneyworld.  They are filled with the young children who can’t sleep because tomorrow is the special day when they enter the world of magic.  Their faces are the epitome of excitement and wonder.

When was the last time, that look was on your face?  The last time when you dropped the heavy burden of fears, and beheld the magic of life?  This photo reflects the majesty of our world, the beauty of creation and it is how you behold the wonder of life.

Remember the movie “Dune”?  The line around fear has stayed with me, Frank Herbert was a master with this thought around fear.

Fear is something that you can’t run away from.  Running away only puts more distance between you and the solution to your fear.   The only way to deal with fear, is to face the illusions that it brings.  You can only be fearless, when you learn to recognize the illusions from what is true and real.

“Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth; when perfect sincerity is expected, perfect freedom must be allowed; nor has anyone who is apt to be angry when he hears the truth, any cause to wonder that he does not hear it”  – Tacitus

Isn’t that something to wonder about?  This concept that you create the fears out of your own illusions, is something to think deeply about.  Illusions usually come from thinking that there isn’t enough of something that you want.

Not enough money, not enough jobs, not enough food, not enough of . . ,   what would happen to your fears if you could sincerely and honestly allowed a moment of perfect freedom into your world?  If you could truly believe that there is more than enough, and it is just waiting for you to step out of the illusion to get it?

I couldn’t find the person who wrote the “Reality of Fear”, but I loved it.  It captures the illusion of fear, in that it convinces you that the lie is truth.

You are scared of the dark it says, when really what you’re scared of is what you have projected into that darkness.  You can’t see in that darkness, the possibilities of what might be there.  A thief will rob you.  A killer will murder you.

Your mind freezes us with “what if’s”.  And the “what if’s” are made up in your mind.  The monster under the bed is actually the fears in your mind, manifesting the illusion into something appearing real.

Reality of Fear

You’re are not scared of the dark . . .  you’re scared of what’s in it

You’re not afraid of heights . . .  you’re afraid of falling

You’re not afraid of the people around you . . .  you’re afraid of rejection

You’re not afraid of love . . .  you’re afraid of not being loved

You’re not afraid to let go . . .  you’re afraid to accept the reality that its gone

You’re not afraid to try again . . .  you’re just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason

What if you took all of those fears and said this instead?

Consciousness Means Being Present To The Unfolding Of Your Life

Dear Beautiful you,

You must not be afraid to start a new chapter . . . , Yes, new beginnings can be scary, endings can be difficult, but your life is meant to be lived and your story is still unfolding . . . ,  So go ahead and turn the page . . . , Your next chapter is waiting – Heather Stillufsen

Your stories are in a continuous unfolding. In fact, your life is unfolding exactly as it should be.

There is always a new stretch of road ahead of you.  It is up to you to continue the journey.

Sometimes you pull off into a rest stop.  You need a break, to rest and take care of your body. You need to give yourself time to breathe, to love, to reflect, to be present to what is.

It is important not to get so bound up in what you are seeking, that you forget to give yourself and those around you, a love of life itself.

Loving your life is about trusting your instinct, taking chances, and learning through experiences.  It’s a long time journey through the confusion.  Live consciously in the moment and enjoy your life as it unfolds – The Coach (RaiseYourMind.com)

You might pull off on an exit that promises you a good meal and the needed fuel for your vehicle.  You might take the scenic route to enjoy more of the beauty of the land you are traveling through.  I think of the scenic route as being the opportunity to see where life is taking you.

To be able to see all of the awakening opportunities that are around every new corner.  Nothing is worse than passing a door of opportunity, only to realize that it really was “a once in a lifetime” experience.

I used to live north of Los Angeles and most of my siblings live up the coast in Monterey/Santa Cruz area.  The fastest way to drive up and see them is to take the I-5 up to Pacheco Pass and cross over to the coast there.  The drive once over the LA mountains is not very pretty.  It is miles of flat land, with some areas that are farmed, but mostly just dry dirt. There is also a town where the cows are waiting to be slaughtered and you can smell it for miles and miles – it makes you want to swear off ever eating meat again.

So, unless I am under real time constraints, I choose to go up the 101, which runs along the coast through wine country.  It is a beautiful drive.  It takes a little longer, but the drive is so much nicer.  If you were driving up the 101 through wine country, you might want to pull off and visit some wineries, watch the waves roll in from the Pacific Ocean, or take in a tourist attraction.

The unfolding of your life is what you make of what happens for you.  I firmly believe that life happens for me, not to me.  It isn’t solid, cast in concrete.

It is rather like sand, that can be molded into whatever strikes your fancy.  It changes.  If you don’t like the way it is looking, you can make a minor change or clear off the table and start over.

But at some point, no matter where or why you pulled off the road, you will want to get back onto the road again, because you have a destination you want to reach.  No one lives at an “I-5 Rest Stop”, as the destination of their life journey.  You don’t stop for fuel and stay at the Shell Station for the rest of your life.  And while it might seem like a good idea, you don’t live at the winery, unless you are the owners or workers at the winery.

Life is not a destination; it’s a journey.  It’s not a series of goals; it’s a series of steps, of events unfolding as you make your way.  Life is not all about accomplishment; it’s all about doing, participating, progressing, growing, learning – Mike Hernacki

You trust in your higher power for guidance.  You trust that wherever you are in your journey, it is where you are supposed to be.  Every one of life’s lemons that you have received, had a learning contained within.  It might be something that becomes evident to you, while you are within the experience.  Conversely, It might take years to reveal itself.

A green walnut is really hard to crack – it takes intense force to open it, and if you are successful, the insides are not good to eat.  But if you wait until it has matured, (turned brown) you can open it with a simple tap and eat the tasty nut meat that is inside.

Our experiences are sometimes like that walnut, you need to wait until it is ready to be opened in order to receive its gift.

If you find yourself driving down a dirt road of dusty flat land feeling totally disenchanted, you are the only person who can turn in a new direction.

Allow grace to lead you back into being in love with life.  Don’t resist.  Surrender to what is, not what you are pushing to make it be.  Trust in the divine to lead you back to your true destination.  Trust the journey.  Trust yourself to live your true life, not the shadow of one.

It always, always, always come back to self-love and self-trust.

So trust the process of your life unfolding, and know with certainty, through the peaks and valleys of your journey, that your soul rests safe and secure in the arms of God  – Dan Millman

Fly Through Illusions To Reach The Magic of Knowing Yourself

The hardest thing is to really know yourself.  You are kind of like one of those hidden drawers in a roll top desk.  There are a lot of things to see on the desk, which is how you show up in the world.  It hides all of the physical aspects of the desk.  Then when you start looking at the desk itself, and open the roll top there is another layer of things to get distracted by.  All of the obvious nooks and crannies and drawers.

If you really examine the desk inch by inch you discover that something seems to be a little off.  Being curious you start pushing and pulling on the wood of the desk.  Inch by inch your fingers keep looking for the hidden lever, until the hidden drawer suddenly pops open.  You’ve found the real you.  It takes concentration, patience and the ability to be curious instead of judgmental.

“Knowing others is wisdom.  Knowing yourself is enlightenment”  – Lao Tzu

So what does this really mean? Taking this even a step further, is accepting what you discover about yourself.

“When you know yourself, you are empowered.  When you accept yourself, you are invincible”  – Tina Lifford

For me, it is how as children you are taught what being successful is.  You are taught to get good grades.  You are taught to go for higher education for a particular type of job.  Medical fields, teaching fields, computer science fields and so on.  You are taught to excel in school and then go to work and excel in your chosen profession.  In school I was lucky enough to have an amazing teacher who taught me to take concepts apart to truly understand what they meant.  To use the How, What, Why kinds of questions to explore what it really means.

“Know who you are.  Know what you want.  Know what you deserve.  And don’t settle for less”  – Tony Gaskins

What you should do first is really understand yourself.  Know what your passions are in life.  What lights you up and makes you happy?  Having a healthy self esteem, that really knows what your values and talents are.  Most importantly, what your personal genius is.  Once you have identified those, you know who you are at your core being.  What makes you happy.  How you can best serve others.

Then it is up to you to go out and find the profession that meets all of the criteria.  Instead you have been so busy being educated, that you missed the importance of self knowledge in the equation.  Instead, you have navigated or simply stumbled into a profession that is not a true calling.  It’s a paycheck.

How did you choose that profession?  Maybe on the advice of a favorite teacher.  Maybe you were steered by your parents into what they felt was a financially rewarding career.  Maybe it was for the glamour of the profession.  In Hollywood many careers are based on dreams of being a Emmy awarded singer, or winning an Oscar.  If it is truly your “dream job”, would you do it even if they didn’t pay you?

What did you really know about this profession before you entered it?  What illusions did you have about what your profession would give back to you?  How did your passion and purpose play into this profession?  What about your personal genius?  That thing you do that is so easy for you, that you don’t understand why everyone can’t do it? Does it fulfill your divine destiny?  Clarity is powerful.  Pay attention to day dreams, where your mind wanders is an important clue to what you are really seeking in life.

“Are we living  our dream?  Or are we living somebody else’s dream?”  – Arianne Huffington

Truly knowing who you are requires a toughness of the soul.  Knowing yourself in all of the ways that matter, means that you:

• Know your own mind; what your thoughts are, what thoughts need changing = attitude
• Knowing your own heart; and following where it leads, the souls direction = faith
• Knowing your own strengths; and playing from that space of strength = grace
• Knowing your own limitations; and accepting them for what they are = peace
• Knowing your own values; and never crossing them = nature
• Know your fears; they tell you what is really important = mastery

“You have to love yourself, because no amount of love from others is sufficient to full the yearning that your soul requires from you” –  Dobinsky

The world needs you to know yourself, be yourself, love yourself and trust yourself.  It is the only way to get from who you are, to who you want to be.  It is the only way to figure our what you need to shift, change, release and transform to get to where you want to be.  Knowing yourself isn’t easy.  It is usually messy, not pretty.

It is about accepting the parts of yourself that even you are hiding from.  It is stripping away the stories that you tell, that whitewash your less than stellar qualities.  It is about taking down the illusions, removing the cloaks of invisibility and loving what remains.  Own the place of your soul.  Stand tall and take inventory.  Then shift and change and transform into the best version of you.  It isn’t easy, but it is priceless.

“Here’s the truth:  people who get what they want tend to be the ones to make the effort to know what they want”  – Martha Beck

What Would You Re-Imagine For Your World?

 Your personal circumstances don’t determine where you can go, they merely determine where you start.

  – Nido Qubein

I think that most of us could agree that when we look out into our world today that it would be great to re-imagine the world in a better place.  Many in the world are not happy with our current political situation in the world.  In some places in the world, we have wars creating the worst refugee crisis ever.  We have terrorist who believe that blowing up the world of others, is a way to re-imagine the world.  It can be scary, it can make us angry, and it  can make us depressed.

What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible.

  – Theodore Roethke

On a personal level, we have personal life changes affecting us.  We may have lost our job or career.  Or we may have suffered the loss of a relationship or loved one through death or divorce.  We may be going through a life threatening medical diagnosis.  The stress of raising children, the stress of a taking care of a parent who is slowly exiting this life.  So many things that we could want to re-imagine onto a blank piece of paper to make our life easier.

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.

  – Henry David Thoreau

I believe that we can all be visionaries.  Visionaries see possibilities, what could be.  They make new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision.  Remember the “Back To The Future” movies.  When Doc Brown said, “Roads?  Where we are going we don’t need roads.”    I think that all of us can make changes in our lives that begin with sitting down with this blank piece of paper.  We can all start re-imagining our life.  But in order to do that, we need to let go of what is no longer serving us.  We need to wash off the dust that is on our souls.  

If you create a vision for your life, doors will open.

  – Unknown

You may hate your job.  Sunday night you might not sleep well, because you know that Monday you have to go back to work.  Your stomach may be tied up in knots.  You may get a Monday morning migraine, every Monday morning.  But the thought of looking for a different job is scary.  What if you end up in a worse working situation?  What if you change jobs only to be laid off from the new job? 

Don’t be afraid to fail – be afraid not to try.

  – Unknown

That happened to me years ago.  I was working for GMAC in their mortgage division in Southern California.  There was a smaller mortgage company where the owner was calling me all of the time to come work for him.  One day I decided to say yes, because it offered me an opportunity to get a promotion.  I went to work for him and as a side project I updated and revamped his existing broker guideline manual.  At the same time that I finished this (about six months) the interest rates spiked up, the values of properties went down, and California had a mini meltdown in the mortgage industry.  I was laid off.  And no one was hiring.

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.

  – Dalai Lama

I thought that I had made the worst job decision ever.  We ended up having to relocate up to the Seattle area where I had connections in order to find a new job.  We didn’t have sufficient savings to weather all of this and I hurt our credit.  We relocated our children who were all in school in the middle of the year.  So many little crisis’s created because of one decision.  But I started with the blank piece of paper. 

You’ve got to think about big things while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.

  – Alvin Toffler

I re-imagined my world and created something even better.  I found a new job, with a higher promotion and a higher income.  We fixed our credit, we bought a new home.  Our children adapted, they made new friends and ran around with all of the cousins that lived in the area.  What I learned in creating that manual for that old employer is what got me the wonderful new job.  It was a tool that I needed for my toolbox to continue my career growth, and I don’t think that I would have been hired for that position without it.

Your purpose explains what you are doing with your life.  Your vision explains how you are living your purpose. Your goals enable you to realize your vision.

  – Bob Proctor

So what does that experience tell me about what is happening in our world today?  It gives me hope.  Because I think that many of the long standing structures and governments in our world today – the systems that we have had in place for so long, need a transformation.  They are no longer working and need to be released.  We need a transformation into something better.  But just like what happens to us personally, the world hasn’t been listening and making the changes in an easy way.  So instead we appear to be having the breakdown to breakthrough. What we need is more of us to step into being visionaries.  To re-imagine what each of these systems could be.  To look at all of the structures and say, “what else is possible?”

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.  Who looks outside, dreams.  Who looks inside awakens.

  – Carl Jung

The signpost on this photo has 4 blank boards.  If you sat down right now with a blank piece of paper and wrote on it four things in your life that you are not happy with, what would they be?  What would you release and how would you release it? 

All tears are a releasing of resistance.  Every time.  No exceptions.

  – Abraham

Are you in resistance with releasing what no longer serves you?  Most of us are, even when it is painful to hold on. It is what we know.  Letting go without knowing what comes next, is more fearful than holding on to the thing that creates pain in our life.  While I believe wholeheartedly that the journey matters more than the destination, we need a destination or all we do is wander.

The only thing worse than being blind is having eyesight but no vision.

  – Helen Keller

So create four new destinations for your life.  Write down what you would change if I gave you a magic wand that you could wave and make your life different. Some things may be personal for your own life.  Things you want to attract, a significant other, a new dream job, a child of your own.  Some things may be more universal, like ending wars or terrorism, or medical care for all, or ending poverty or global hunger. 

Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life.  Because you become what you believe.

  – Oprah

Your soul is calling to you.  Your dreams are calling to you.  Your destiny is trying to unfold.  Take out that blank piece of paper and put something on those four blank signposts.  Start your journey to a new destination.  I can attest to the fact that your life will never be the same.  I took up the pen and started writing these blogs as part of my journey to a new destination.  You can’t imagine how much my life has changed.  The journey hasn’t been smooth, but it has been wonderful just the same.

Sight is what you eyes produce.  Vision is what your heart produces.  Never let what you see effect your vision.

  – Shandren Reddy

Visionaries don’t just believe in impossible things, they believe those impossible things must be done.  To take yourself from where you are, to someplace you have never been.  

You need to associate with people that inspire you, people that challenge you to rise higher, people that make you better.  Don’t waste your valuable time with people that are not adding to your growth.  Your destiny is too important.

  – Joel Osteen

That is the importance of community.  It is why I write these blogs and share the news stories that I share.  You all challenge me to be a better person.  Thank you for showing up and sharing your stories and your encouragement.  So let’s all go raise hell, and change the world!

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There Is A Dance That Only You Know How To Do

In many shamanic societies, if you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being depressed or dispirited, they would ask the following four questions:

When did you stop dancing?
When did you stop singing?
When did you stop being enchanted by stories?
When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?

When I read George Carlin’s quote I thought of the above words – because the wolves being silent at the moon, and the moon howling back – this spoke to me of a wolf being dispirited and the moon howling back those questions. 

This quote by George Carlin with the wolves being silent also reminded me of a time of reflection. Being silent and going within to review the actions of the year. A time to release the baggage of the past.

And you were just like the moon, so lonely, so full of imperfections, but just like the moon, you shined in times of darkness – Unknown

Every January we think of the new year’s goals or resolutions, new dreams to grow into our lives. The things we want to accomplish or bring into our lives. In order to be ready for that contemplation, you need to create a clean slate.

A good way to do that is to examine what you set out to do last year, what happened along the way, and what you need to acknowledge and release. 

Part of what can be released is all of those dreams that didn’t happen. You can mourn and release those dreams that no longer are a part of your life, because you have outgrown them.

We all have shadows within us.  Dark places where you hide the things you don’t want to face.  Where you hide things you are ashamed of.  These things need to be brought into the light.  You need to release them, so that they can become what they were meant to be.  They are the broken bits of you, the dreams you abandoned because of someone or something that hurt you. 

You can also release any toxic relationships that have ended or need to now end.  Release the darkness.

And like the moon, she had a side of her so dark, that even the stars couldn’t shine on it; she had a side of her so cold, that even the sun couldn’t burn on it –  Abigail J

I have always thought the saying is so true, “We make plans, God laughs”. This is because you tend to make plans that you feel safe about, things you know that you can do. Those kinds of plans don’t grow you or accomplish all that you are capable of doing. So, God laughs because he will take those plans, tear them apart and rebuild them into better ones.  Those are the unanswered prayers, the dreams that won’t grow you towards your destiny.

Throughout the year you can look for those examples, where your small safe plan, was revised with divine humor into a much bigger plan.

Or it might be that because  you didn’t do a release from last year, that this year’s plans have not even got off the ground. 

Look not for the desires you have, for they are simply things that you want in your life.  Look for what your soul longs for.  What each heartbeat is sending to you, telling you that THIS IS WHY YOU ARE HERE! 

When the wolf howls at the moon, you can hear the yearning in his voice.  Give your own yearning a voice in your life.

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon – Paul Brandt

So with the next full moon, you can again review, release, and restore life. Every quarter, the moon will usher in a new season.  That is a perfect time to release the old, failed, or aborted dreams, and plan anew. 

We dance for laughter,

we dance for tears,

we dance for madness,

we dance for fears,

we dance for hopes,

we dance for dreams,

we are the dancers, we create dreams.

Albert Einstein

One of my all-time favorite songs is “Moondance” by Van Morrison.  I love the summer and autumn nights of a full moon.  With a warm breeze blowing and sitting on a sandy beach, watching the moon rise over the water – there isn’t a better feeling.  You can feel the magic of the night strumming your heart strings. 

You Must Do The Thing You Think You Can’t Do

“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it.  It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows”  –   Brene Brown

Anytime you feel like life is giving you too much to handle, that you can’t take one more thing, that is the time to step outside of the drama and trauma.  To ask yourself a very vital question.  “What is this experience awakening within me?”  You would not be going through this experience unless the divine knew it would open you up.  It is up to you to figure out what you are being opened up to.  Even the shadows have wisdom to share with you.

“Run my dear from anything that may not strengthen your precious, budding wings.  Run like hell my dear, from anyone likely to put a sharp knife into the sacred tender vision of your beautiful heart” – Hafiz

When you come up against your secret deepest fears.  When fear is invading your body and flaying you alive.  That is when it is vital that you have the courage to be willing to fall.  It is in the surrender to “I am failing”; when your heart is torn and beaten; that is how you find out how far you can rise up.

It is in the “let go and let God”, in the surrender to the divine will or destiny.  That is when everything changes.  Until then you are in a fight inside of, and with yourself.

Facing your fears is like walking through a crowded room with all of these shadows of people.  They seem to have substance, reality.  They are talking, but their whispers fade away as you try to listen.  They appear to be making perfect arguments, and logical deductions.  Yet they are simply shadows, and they disappear as you put one foot in front of the other and simply walk through them.

“Courage is more exhilarating than fear, and in the long run it is easier.  We do not have to become heroes overnight.  Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down” – Eleanor Roosevelt

They have no substance, because they are based on projections of what “might” happen.  When you take the time to face them and shine a light upon them, they fade away.  The truth is that you’re worrying about what might happen, can’t change or alter what tomorrow brings. What it does, is to make your today heart breaking.  It isn’t failure that you should be afraid of.  It is doing nothing and having nothing change in your life that is truly heart breaking.

There is a Swedish Proverb that says, “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow”.  Worry stops you from making the right choices.  It stops you from being the brilliant, funny, entertaining “light up my life” person that you are meant to be.  It bleeds away your courage to get up and take action.  It drains you, instead of fueling your passion to get stuff done.

“Ask yourself if you’re certain – do you really want it?  When you’re certain, desire will transform you into a racehorse, explosive at the gate.  When you’re certain, details and obstacles will noticeably shrink, and crumble away.  Excuses will die, ecstatic determination will strengthen your drive, and the sheer power of intent will rattle your lands and skies.  Are you truly certain?  Then call it out.  Claim it as yours.  Do what you need to do each and every day, to let it know you’re ready, you can see it, and that you’re on your way.  Now is the time.  Your dream patiently awaits” – Victoria Erickson

When you are courageous you spark the souls of others and ignite the bravery in them.  That is why you love to read the stories of those who conquer their fears.  It lights up the coals inside of you that are in danger of going out.  It re-ignites you to push forward once more.

The moon calls to the tides, beckoning the waves to reach the shore and having gently kissed the sand, they return to the depths.  To release what no longer serves the ocean to the shoreline.  The shoreline makes space for something new that is coming in on the tides.

When I am moving towards my own passion and purpose in life, my purpose in life moves towards me.  Like the ocean waves entering and leaving, my passion and purpose ebbs and flows.  Courage is the foundation on which fears can be met.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You must do the thing which you think you cannot do” – Eleanor Roosevelt

This foundation helps you to take the risk of leaping forward, even though you don’t know where you will land.  It is the foundation that helps you to be compassionate with yourself when you have the rough landing that breaks you into pieces.  It gives you the strength to put yourself back together again, and venture forth one more time.

You must dare to live a life that is more than just a daily existence.  To understand that sometimes in order for something new to come into existence, fire is required to crack the old hard shell of your life.  You can then see the potential of who, and what you are.  You can see what you can accomplish, only if you keep trying.

“Becoming fearless isn’t the point.  That’s impossible.  It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it” – Veronica Roth, Divergent

You all have these wonderful talents, these personal geniuses that are just waiting for you to have the courage to follow them down the trail of mastery. It is in risking the fire, stepping across the threshold into the unknown, that is when you discover your true voice.

“Faith is the strength by which a shattered world, shall emerge into the light” – Helen Keller

What are your dreams, visions, your life purpose? Are you on track to bring them into reality and complete them? Have you allowed distractions to sidetrack you? Are you unclear on what your life purpose is or how to bring it into reality?

Specialize In The Impossible

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power to they have to change it.
Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion.
Impossible is not a declaration. It is a dare.
Impossible is potential.
Impossible is temporary.
Impossible is nothing.

  – Muhammad Ali

Every great invention and every great exploration are great, simply because at one time, it was considered impossible.

Nothing is impossible to a willing heart – John Heywood

Consider the cell phone you have in your pocket:

• From a phonograph with vinyl records, to CDs to my Ipod – I can now carry around 1,000’s of songs on the cloud downloaded to my cell phone
• From the telegraph to party line phones, to land lines with expensive long-distance rates, to a cell phone that started out in a large box, to what we now carry around in our pocket – we can call anywhere in the world for just pennies a call, and I can talk with family members all over the world at the same time and see them “live” with Skype.
• From old fashion manual typewriters to electric typewriters, to word processors, to desk top computers, to my cell phone where I can text or email someone anywhere in the world and they get it in a minute.
• From pony express mail to mail delivered via planes, trains, and automobiles to email delivered to my cell phone.
• From the black and white TV to technicolor, to High Definition to 3D – I can now watch movies on demand, or TV shows when I want to (on demand) on my cell phone.
• From the camera on my phone I can record, download to YouTube and become a famous person, making my own videos.

I could go on to describe so many things that we now take for granted, that just 100 yrs. ago would have been considered impossible. So, when you think that you are in an impossible situation, remember the words of Muhammad Ali, “impossible is just temporary”.

It is an opportunity to think outside the box and consider the possibilities instead.  Impossible is not a fact., it is only an opinion. 

So, stop thinking that something can’t be done and instead wonder “why not”? The only limits to your dreams are the ones that you self-impose.  In fact, it is when you are in the middle of doing the impossible thing, that you suddenly find yourself.

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve:  the fear of failure – Paulo Coelho

When I was a kid, they had a show on T.V. called “Mission Impossible”, which later became a movies series.  Every assignment was impossible to do, and somehow, they came up with a way to be successful. 

When you have a dream that others think is impossible, they will think that you are crazy.  They will ask you why you want to try to do such a thing – it is risky, it is dangerous, it is impossible.  But once the impossible thing has been done, then they want to know how you did it.  What’s your secret?

So many of you have lived through unimaginable tragedies in your life. If you can look at what you are capable of being and doing, it gives you hope.  You have hope that so many of the things you see wrong in your world, things that can be made right.

Nothing is impossible, unless you simply decide to live in the world that you have been given. If you decide that someone’s opinion is now a fact, then you won’t have the resources or potential to change it. 

What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible is rarely a function of our true capability.  It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are – Anthony Robbins

What gives me hope is that someone who reads this, is one of those kinds of people.

That you are one of those people who know in your heart that impossible is a dare to do something about it. That impossible is potential that you are going to harness and make something fantastic out of it. The impossible is no-thing, that it is nothing.

Together we can change the world, because for us, nothing is impossible. We can end world hunger. We can end poverty. We can end terrorism. We can end diseases and addictions that take away our loved one’s way too early in life. 

What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible – Theodore Roethke

Tears Soothe, Love Heals, The Soul Thrives Once Again

Bad things happen. We lose a loved one to a disease, suicide, an accident, or a murder. We get a divorce, and question if we have ever really been loved. We lose our job and our identify in one fell swoop. We loose a dream that meant everything to us.  While none of these things define who we really are, it also does not define who we will become. It can still knock us down.

Bad things happen turning the world upside down, bringing us to our knees. We doubt that we will ever recover, that we will ever be truly happy again. That our laughter will ever escape in unbridled joy again.

Bad things make us feel that we will never be healed of the pain. That it will follow us around coloring the world a bleak gray. Bad things can do all of these things. It might not seem like we have any choices left to us, but it isn’t true. A bad thing happened that took someone or something from us that we loved, but It doesn’t have to take your life too.

If you don’t let it out, the grief becomes a scream trapped inside your soul, a constant cry in the dark, a sob you can never release.  So scream, shout, cry, the way the sky does with thunder and lightning and rain . . .  for it knows it is being cleansed, it knows that it’s storm is the only way to release the pain.

  – Nikita Gill

I remember how people would come over to say goodbye when my mom was ill, and then again after my nephews murder. They didn’t really know what to say. Sometimes they meant well with cures and remedies, or advice such as “just snap out of it”.  “

A thousand times we die in one life.  We crumble, break and tear apart until the layers of illusion are burned away and all that is left, is the truth of who and what we really are.

 –  Teal Scott

Sometimes even with good intentions, what they say breaks off another piece of your spirit, as though it wasn’t already damaged enough. You may be damaged, but your will is fighting back. You are not broken.

Grief has a way of making everything that was once black and white seem like a million shades of grey. And grief upon grief upon grief, has a way of making you question if colors exist at all.

 – undercovermothers

Healing begins with a choice. It will take as long as it takes. This is one thing that we should not rush through. It has been eight years since my nephew was murdered, and my sister still has bad days.  We have the support of others who have suffered a similar loss. They understand what we are going through. Let these loved ones comfort you, knowing that it brings up for them additional healing from their old losses.  Isn’t it funny how helping someone else to heal, can in turn help us to heal?

Listen to your own voice, you own soul, too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves.

  – Leon Brown

During difficult times, turn to those who will breathe belief back into your soul. The belief that this too shall pass, and the gray world we are living in, will gradually shift back into living color. The belief that one by one we can pick up the shattered pieces of who we thought we were, and put our identity back together again. 

Grief is a matter of the heart and soul.  Grieve your loss, allow it in, and spend time with it.  Suffering is the optional part.  Love never dies, and spirit knows no loss.  Keep in mind that a broken heart, is an open heart. 

 – Louse Hay

Spend time with those special “brothers or sisters” who will help you gather up the pieces of you that were thrown to the ground. Who will just sit with you, with a glass of wine in blessed silence and companionship. Who know how to let the silence between you, lap in and out like the waves caress the shoreline. Sharing memories, pain and laughter will be evoked. It all blends into releasing some of the darkness that is so difficult to deal with alone.

This is what a real teacher does:  she opens the gates of our minds to the possibilities of the soul.

  – Vironika Tugaleva

Don’t question your right to have a bright future, to live a life of happiness. Just know that the light will shine in your life again. Happiness, laughter, and hope will enter back into your heart and soul. It will not hurt forever. New possibilities are just waiting for your space to open up, to let the winds of change blow away the dust and cobwebs.

Once you realize that the road is the goal, that you are always on the road, not to reach a goal, but to enjoy its beauty and its wisdom, life ceases to be a task, and becomes natural and simple, in itself an ecstasy . . .

  – Sri Nisaragadatta Maharaj

This is all a part of life’s journey. New people enter our lives, others leave our lives. And the journey continues ever onward.

May your eye go to the sun, to the wind your soul…, you are all the colors in one at full brightness.

 –  From All The Bright Places

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