If you want to soar in life, you must first love yourself
If you want to soar in life, you must first love yourself.
You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you.
So many of us have put the cart before the horse when it comes to love. We spend all of our time “earning” the love of others by being who they want us to be. By doing everything in our power to make their life perfect. We expend our body and soul and at the end of the day, nothing turns out the way we wanted it to and we are left feeling “not good enough”.
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
– African Proverb
There is a show on PBS called “Home Fires”. It takes place in England during WWII. It about a group of women who are part of a women’s group that contribute to the village and the war effort. In the first season there is one woman whose husband abuses her. Like all abusers he makes every time he loses his temper to be her fault. The real issue at hand for the story line is that he is a newspaper writer who can’t get enough work.
A few of her best friends figure out what is happening, but at the point in history there really isn’t anything they can do about it. She is too ashamed to admit what is happening. The times that she struggles to fight back, he leaves her self worth in even more tatters. At the end of the first season, one of her friends was successful in getting him a war correspondent job without him being aware of it. He left the village to go to the front, and the character has the opportunity to start loving herself and building up her self esteem, so that she doesn’t fall back into the same situation when he returns. One of the underlying contributors of why women stay is that they don’t love themselves enough to gather up what remains of their self worth and self trust, to leave and not look back.
Love yourself enough to take the actions required for your happiness. Love yourself enough to cut yourself loose from the ties of the drama filled past. Love yourself enough to move on.
– Dr. Steve Maraboli
We may not be in such an extreme situation with our self love, but you only have to listen to the comments we make to ourselves, to know that it is something that we can all work on. When we live our life this way, we bought into a lie, that loving ourselves first will take away from the time and effort we are spending to get others to love us. We think that the only way to be worthy of self love is to prove that others love us first. Why would we attract the love of others, if we don’t even love ourselves?
Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish – it makes you indestructible.
Trying to in essence purchase the love of others by our self sacrifice of ourselves, is like trying to fit the square peg in the round hole, we can push it, twist it, and pound the peg until it shatters, but it will never fit. It won’t fill that yearning from our soul, that begs us to put “love us” first.
5 Things to Quit – right now.
- Trying to please everyone
- Fearing Change
- Living in the past
- Putting yourself down
We have the power to choose where we are going. We have the power to stop trying to get attention from those who hurt us. We have the power to stop hating our body, our personality, and the pieces of us that don’t fit in the square hole. We can start with loving ourselves, saying “I love my thighs just as they are”, “I love my imperfect smile”, “I love that I snort when I laugh”, “I love me”. We can get the truth of the situation into our bones – nobody will ever love us more than we love ourselves. It is critically important to our health and happiness – both physical and mental – that we treat ourselves right.
I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
– Lucille Ball
What if for the rest of this year you devoted yourself to loving you more? Your choices will change your life. Make peace with your mirror and watch your reflection change. The loss of judgment in your eyes. The removing of the wrinkles of anxiety across the forehead, that you aren’t good enough. The curve of the smile of self confidence, that says you are amazing and you are rocking that outfit. The glow of inner peace and love that fills your space with light. And – LOL – Best hair day EVER!