We tend to live our lives based on what we believe about ourselves, our world, our capabilities and our limits. Where do those beliefs come from? More often than not they come from what other people have told us, history, science, religion, culture, family. What if they’re wrong? – Gregg Braden
Growing up in my family we were assigned these roles. I was the smart one. My younger sister was the pretty one. The Twins were just the twins – mirror images in looks but opposites in actions. My fourth sister was blond and so different. My youngest sister was the pest, and my baby brother was the spoiled boy. I went through most of my life believing that I couldn’t be both pretty and smart – it was one or the other, so because I was smart according to everyone else, I couldn’t possibly be pretty too.
Since I also had the belief that it wasn’t safe to be seen, I didn’t mind not being pretty.
It is interesting how I have always reacted to compliments that are not about my being smart. If someone comments on my photo for example it makes me uncomfortable because it went against an unconscious belief from my childhood. I always felt like they were not being honest, they were just being nice.
Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future – Deepak Chopra
It is kind of funny, but Facebook has actually helped me to release most of this belief. It has happened in a strange way, because a lot of men try to use Facebook to meet women. I am sure that this has happened to most of you. Complete strangers want to be your Facebook friend. It never occurred to me that this would happen because they were interested in me, I thought it was because they read my posts and liked them.
So, when I would get personal messages that indicated what they were really after I was shocked. Now while I now screen my friends’ invitations, it did help me to release this belief. These men and one woman (lol) didn’t know me, so they weren’t just being “nice”. They saw something that attracted them.
It is kind of funny how your perceptions can literally change things. They did this study years ago they called Pygmalion in which they were going to give this class an IQ test. The researchers told the teacher that 5 students who would perform the best. The teacher wasn’t told that these 5 children were just randomly picked.
From the teacher’s perception these were the 5 brightest students. The test confirmed that these 5 students were the best in the class. The teacher’s viewpoint impacted those students. Something in the way she taught, the feedback she gave, something she did, made those five students “smarter”.
What we are told as children, from our parents, our teachers, our friends and relatives – what the expectations are for our behavior – subconsciously they motivate us to make them true. Whatever negative beliefs you have about you, you filter through life’s experiences to make them come true for you. You get what you expect.
The mind and the body are like parallel universes. Anything that happens in the mental universe must leave tracks in the physical one – Deepak Chopra
The great news is that once you recognize what these unconscious beliefs are, you can change them. This morning I had to wait for the Microsoft upgrades to finish before I could finish this post. Every month or so, your computer gets program upgrades. In this same way, you have the ability to give yourself a program upgrade. You can change your reality by changing your beliefs. By creating new expectations.
When you heal damaging beliefs about yourself, you remove limitations which are restricting your personal growth.
If you feel like you are pushing the boulder up a hill about anything in your life right now, examine what your beliefs are around what you are trying to accomplish. Realize that this belief is not true. That it probably came from a childhood experience that you then spent every year since proving was true. And now you have the opportunity to release that belief and upgrade to a new program or belief.
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate – Carl Jung
It is amazing how everything changes when you do this. It is like the hose was turned on full blast, but because you had a kink in the hose, you were only getting a drop or two at a time. Releasing the false belief, unkinks the hose, and your life rushes forward in the direction you were trying to go. That boulder you were pushing uphill turns into a sled sliding down the hill at top speed.
So, I encourage you to find one limiting belief you have, release it as a misunderstanding, and upgrade that belief into something that serves you.