This Is The Part Where You Find Out Who You Are
It is not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.
– Denis Waitley
I was recently talking to my coach about my book that is being published this summer. It is a collection of 90 of my posts and it will be called, ‘Timeless Treasures For Today’s Living’. We were talking about how to promote the book and she was telling me of something that she had read about another author. They had created a program, where if you bought 50 books, you became an Ambassador of the book and author. In return she included a bunch of bonus items wrapped around some personal coaching calls, her monthly subscription program etc… The first thought in my mind was I am not worth someone spending that much money on me. No one would think that what I have is that valuable.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
This quote includes not letting my own negative mind talk make me feel inferior. I immediately checked those thoughts of being unworthy. What was so interesting is that before our coaching call, I had been looking for new graphics for a post and I saw this picture with her hand on the mirror and looking away. It immediately called to me to write about self love. So already before I had that coaching call, my intuition was telling me that another layer of not accepting who I am was about to be revealed. I wouldn’t let anyone tell me that I am not worthy or capable of doing whatever is in my heart to do. So why would I allow my inner negative critic to do so?
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.
– Brene Brown
It used to take me awhile to recognize that “Cami” was running my mind and was in control of my thoughts. I named her Cami, because she is so good at camouflaging herself. She sneaks into random thoughts, inserts herself into conversations and just all around makes a pest of herself. Cami and I journal together sometimes. I will write down a question for her, and then just detach from the answer and wait for her to tell me what to write down. She comes from a place of fear. She puts the worst interpretations on everything.
Have you ever been at work, just minding your own business and you get a call to go into your bosses office? What is the first thought that comes into your head? Is it, Oh no! What is wrong? What did I mess up? Am I going to get fired? And then you go into your bosses office and they just have some random question for you? That is your own internal Cami at work.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
– Marcus Aurelius
My Cami is just trying to protect me. She is afraid of everything. She criticizes me to keep me within her self designed comfort zone. Within that zone she controls the world and keeps me safe. The problem is that I am busy expanding that zone. I am busy learning new things. I have this Facebook page community to grow. I have the new LemonadeMakers Club to grow into a community of people who are looking for ways to expand their own comfort zones, and confront, reason, and work with their own Cami’s. I have my first book coming out this summer. So Cami and I have been conversing throughout the weekend.
Embrace the glorious mess that you are.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
The quickest way to bring Cami around to my way of thinking is to take what I want to do in steps. Kind of like when you take a small child to learn to swim. I would first hold them and get their feet wet. Then they would stand and we would walk out deeper and deeper into the water. Each step is a new victory. The only way to be confident of my own talents, gifts and abilities is to do what I am afraid to do. So I make Cami a deal. I will walk so far and then we will talk and negotiate a new distance to explore. Eventually I have her swimming in the deep end of the pool with a new comfort zone.
Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.
– Ann Bradford
If I try to bulldoze her then she tricks me. Like being lost in the forest, I walk in circles. I think that I am making progress, but little things keep drawing me further and further away from my chosen destination. Have you ever had a day, where you planned out this list of things that you were going to get done – yet you find yourself 12 hours later, exhausted and you only were able to cross off 1 thing? That is your Cami at work again. Bright shiny objects grab your attention. A sudden desire to clean out a closet. You went to the grocery store just to buy milk and you came home with a months worth of groceries 3 hours later. Cami struck again.
I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I am beautiful because I am aware of my flaws. I am fearless, because I learnt to recognize illusion from real. I am wise because I learn from my mistakes, I am a lover because I have felt hate. And, I can laugh because I have known sadness.
By trial and error, you too can find a way to deal with your Cami. Maybe like me you will learn to journal and negotiate with her. Maybe you will be successful with willpower and bulldoze your Cami into submission. There are over 80 different kinds of hammers. Most of us are familiar with one kind. Now we can use that hammer for a multitude of projects, and sometimes they will sort of work. We might have a few dents, scratches, dings, but we finished the product. Or we could use the right kind of hammer, and end up with a beautiful work of art. Take the time to learn who your Cami is. What she is afraid of. How she wants to communicate with you. Learn how to reassure her. Appreciate that she is doing what she thinks is the right thing, based on your own past experiences.
Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do, even your mistakes. Because even mistakes mean you’re trying.
So back to the discussion about the book. I am going to look into what kind of Ambassador program I can create – so here’s the question for all of you – is anyone interested in helping promote the book?
It will be at least a 60 day program, with group calls and one on one coaching, a two year free membership with The LemonadeMakers Club and so much more. I will autograph the books and they will make great presents for those that you love.
Let me know what you would be interested in as a bonus for the program. We will design it around what you most want to explore, to get curious about, and to delve deep into.