Believe In Yourself And Be UnStoppable
“The moment you give up all thought of retreat or surrender, you become an unstoppable force” – Tommy Newberry
44 years ago, I gave birth to my oldest son. At that time natural childbirth was just getting started. I had decided that I wanted to have Joseph without any drugs. My mom, a very headstrong woman, was of the opinion that I would never be able to do it. I would be begging for drugs as soon as the labor started getting difficult.
While this goal started as a personal decision based on the belief that it would be better for the baby, it became a goal so strong that nothing would be allowed to stand in my way. I was determined to show my mother that I could do this. Her belief that I was too weak and wouldn’t be able to handle the pain, became my conviction to show her she was wrong.
The hospitals at that time didn’t approve of natural childbirth. The nurses thought it shouldn’t be done that way. I wanted to have my son and then go home. They were adamant that I should stay 3 days. Nursing your baby wasn’t encouraged. They liked the babies to stay in the hospital nursery and I wanted him by my side.
It was a fight on all sides, but fortunately my doctor was an amazing man and supported me all the way. He had been my childhood doctor and had seen me through scarlet fever when I was in Junior High School and removed a benign tumor when I was a teenager. He figured if I fought my way through that, I could handle childbirth without drugs.
I have wondered whether my intuition had come into play with my decision, because as it turned out, not only did I have Joseph without any pain medication – it saved his life. As he was coming down the birth canal he hit his head and basically passed out. He stopped moving down the canal.
He was too far down to do a C-Section and so the doctor used several different types of forceps to bring him out the rest of the way. When he finally emerged he was blue and wasn’t breathing. The doctor gave him mouth to mouth and CPR and got his breathing going. It all happened so fast that by the time my husband and I realized he was in trouble, he was breathing on his own.
“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction” – John F. Kennedy
After they had run all of the tests, the doctor updated us that he was fine. He told us that it was his opinion that the only reason he was able to revive him was because I hadn’t taken any drugs.
My intention to have a drug free childbirth, spurred on by my passion to show my mom I could handle it, saved my sons life. I refused to give in to the pain, and breathed my way through every single contraction. If my mom hadn’t hurt me by saying I wasn’t capable of handling the pain, I might have given in to it and had the drugs. She spurred me on, and that direction that took me over the finish line.
In daily life you are constantly changing, transforming and transitioning. Some of them are so small that they occur without anyone noticing.
I always think of children and their growth spurts in height, for a change that happens without anyone noticing. Because the growth happens so slowly, when you are with them all day, every day, you don’t see it. But you do notice it with your friends or relatives children. You may not see them for a month or two and you see them again, and they have grown a couple of inches.
You only notice your own children’s growth by the fact that they need new clothes because everything they own no longer fits them.
“She was fierce, she was strong, she wasn’t simple. She was crazy and sometimes she barely slept. She always had something to say. She had flaws and that was ok. And when she was down, she got right back up. She was a beast in her own way, but one idea described her best. She was unstoppable and she took anything she wanted with a smile” – R.M. Drake
Some changes, transformations and transitions happen with a moment. A single moment can change your life forever.
When you are pregnant with your first child, you think you know what it means to be a parent. You think you know how it will change your life.
When you hold that precious baby in your arms for the first time, it dawns on you that you were right about your life not being the same. You also realize that had no idea, what this would really be like. You look into that tiny face, and for the first time you really truly understand unconditional love.
You might have doubts about how you are going to be a good parent. You will realize you have no idea what you’re doing, and that you are probably going to fail over and over again. But you also know that nothing is going to stop you.
You will figure out how to survive on two hours of sleep. How to give a wiggly baby a bath. How to clip fingernails and toenails without pinching their soft skin too. How to balance a child, a bag of groceries, and open/close doors all at the same time. How to kiss boo boo’s and make them better. How to potty train your son and teach him to keep that urine stream pointed in the right direction. You will rock them when they’re sick, and wish you could be sick instead.
You will do this because you are strong, fierce, and flawed, you will go to war for and with your child, you will be unstoppable.
I used to have a bumper sticker that said, “I can handle anything, I have teenagers”. Teenagers are messy souls. They are chaos in motion. They will rip your heart into pieces one minute, and the next minute cuddle you and say how much they love you. Parents of teenagers know what defeat is. Slamming doors, screaming I hate you. Having to talk for hours until you break through the defenses to find out what is really wrong.
Failure is not defeat. When one door won’t open, you learn to try another. Failure is just a detour. I learned from my children, they were my greatest teachers in showing me how I could be better, and do better.
I learned about communication with my children. How to reach down into their hearts and draw them out. I knew when they were misbehaving that something was going wrong in their lives. I knew if I could just find the right words, they would tell me what was wrong.
I learned how to use analogies. I learned to find ways to tell stories that would help them put into words, what was happening in their lives that they didn’t know how to talk about. I learned to go down deep within the well of their hearts, to bring up what was asking to be seen and acknowledged.
Sometimes I failed. Sometimes I didn’t pay close enough attention. Sometimes I wondered how I ever thought I could be a mom. But I didn’t give up.
I loved the first photo because she is running in the rain. She didn’t listen to that voice that said, don’t run today, it is raining. It is cold. You should just stay in your nice warm bed.
In every area of your life, you can be unstoppable. Every new day dawns with a ray of hope. Hope of it being a good day. Of being a day with a fresh start in creating positive change, transformation and transitions into your life.
- The hope of resiliency.
- The hope of being a positive example for someone else.
- To inspire them to accomplish their dreams.
- To lead by example.
- To be perfectly imperfect and be ok with that.
- It’s all about being better than you were yesterday.
- To live a courageous life.
- Being willing to say, “I can do better, let me try this again”.
“Whatever your difficulty, whatever your hardship, dance and make the song you sing your prayer. Sing it courageously, and with each step strengthen yourself with the knowledge and wisdom of your elders. So that whatever next happens, you can survive and not lose your rhythm” – Red Haircrow
Throughout your life there will be things to let go of, and there are things you need to pick up.
- You need to let go of the self judgment.
- You need to pick up self confidence to break through fears.
- You need to let go of perfection, and pick up the belief that just because you fail, you must be a failure.
- You need to pick up your self esteem, and realize that you are more than enough for anything that life throws at you.
- You need to let go of heart break and pick up the ability to be in love with vulnerability.
To realize that being vulnerable allows you to experience life at a whole new level. You can love without being needy. You can be grateful for every experience, because it made you powerful beyond measure.
Keep looking for new ways to express your creativity. Keep looking for passion and purpose in your life. Keep growing into a master of life. Don’t settle. Be the unique person that you are, a beautiful soul expressing Gods love here on earth. Nobody else has your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. Be unstoppable.