Everything In Life Is About Balance
One of the most common complaints is not enough time. There isn’t enough time to get everything done. When you have the demands of a career, a family, volunteering for your favorite charity, a spiritual life, trying to fit in physical fitness, etc. . . . how can you fit all of that into one 24 hr time period, or even spread it out through your week? How do you balance the hours in the day with everything that needs to be done? The most common answer is something called “time management”. I have read many books, heard speakers talk about it, but I have never been able to manage time. The best I can do is keep that running list that just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
“You can do anything, but not everything.” – David Allen
What if it isn’t time management that brings a semblance of balance into a person’s life? What if it is boundary management? How many times have you said yes to your friend when she asked you to watch her kids, when you didn’t have the time to do it or even want to do it? How many times do you have priorities screaming at home you want to get done, but you let your girlfriend talk you into going out on the town? Not only did you burn up hours that you wanted to do something different with, now your budget is out of whack $100.00, and you didn’t even have “that” good of a time.
You could write a book of similar things that happen with work, such as having to work on Saturday because someone else in your department didn’t get their job done on time. Or your child’s school talked you into committing to baking 12 dozen cookies for the bake sale. You want to just drive by the grocery story and buy cookies from the bakery, but every other mom is baking and so you feel that you have to too. All of these are not time management issues. They are boundary issues. You don’t know how to say no in such a way that they know you mean it. How do you say no in such a way that they know you still love them, but “no I can’t commit to that.”
“Life is about balance; too much and too little can kill. The best way to balance life is setting your boundaries and learning to say enough” – M G Garcia
When you don’t stand up for the life that you want, then you end up living the life that everyone else pulls you into. Boundaries keep your life on track and within the path that you have chosen to walk. There are a lot of trainings and seminars that sound fun to me. A lot of books that look like a great summer read. A lot of TV series that look like they would be fun to watch (everyone at work is talking about them). But I have boundaries in my life where I self limit the number of hours I spend on things that are not furthering the dreams in my life. I still enjoy TV and read great books, but I limit the number of hours that they suck up, because I could read book after book after book if I let myself. The dishes would sit in the sink, the laundry would pile up and I would get around to a lot of chores as soon as I finish the next chapter – LOL.
So boundaries are both between me and the world, and between me and my dreams. I don’t have perfect balance. I binge on books or TV every once in awhile. But I am constantly asking myself, “does this help me grow and expand LemonadeMakers in some way?” When I do the occasional binge, it is because I have been working way too hard, and my brain needs a break. I just don’t let my brain stay on a permanent vacation. I love doing the research, finding the quotes and photos and writing these posts. I love the comments people make and interacting with the community. I am constantly learning new things so that I can bring them to my community and engage them in even more meaningful ways.
“Try to always live a balanced life. Don’t deprive yourself, but don’t overindulge; don’t be lazy, but learn that it’s ok to relax; challenge yourself, but don’t be afraid to silly and let loose” – Alex and Ani
In addition to boundaries, balance is also about letting things go in your life. Understanding the deeper concept of what letting go or giving up actually mean. What is the difference between them? How do we know when we should keep trying, and when we just need to stop? I always think of the hospital shows on TV. You see the doctor giving a patient who is having a heart attack CPR. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes? How many times do you shock the heart to restart it? There comes that moment when everyone else in the room has stepped back. You can see they want to say, stop, this isn’t working. But they are afraid to say it. Then finally someone says “you have to call the time of death”. No matter how many times you try, that heart isn’t going to start beating again. So how do you know if it is too soon or too late? When do you let go?
When do you say goodbye to a job? To a relationship? To a dream? To a belief? When should you be holding on, and when should you be letting them go? Balance is usually achieved by living between the two extremes. Not letting go of things just because it is too hard; and knowing when to let go of things that no longer serve you. Letting go of things that are actually beginning to harm you, because of your refusal to let go.
“Balance is not something you find. It’s something your create” – Unknown
You need to relook at what is happening with the thing you are trying to hold on to or let go of.
- Why are you being called to either hold onto it or release it?
- Is it tied to a fear?
- Is it too hard to accomplish?
- Is it unhealthy?
- Have you outgrown it?
- Have you just not grown into it yet?
- Does it still reflect who you are growing into being?
I always think of children when explaining this concept. My son had a pair of rain boots that he loved. He was around 3 years old at the time. They were like fireman boots, all black, with a red circle around the top of the boots, and went up to his knees. I noticed one day that he was squishing his toes to fit into the boots. So I put them away in the top shelf of the hallway closet to save for his baby brother to wear when he was older. Every time I turned around he had found those boots and put them on. It didn’t matter where I hid them. I finally had to give them away.
This same son, fast forward to high school age. He enrolled in a drafting class because he was interested in drawing. About six weeks into the class, he came home wanting to quit the class. He said it wasn’t what he thought it was going to be. He wanted to take a German language class instead. I said he should stay in the drafting class and finish it. My husband thought he should be allowed to quit it.
So he transfers into the German language class. About six weeks later we were having the same conversation about the German class. I told my husband that he needed to learn to finish what he starts. Whatever reason he come up with for quitting, it wasn’t the real reason he wanted to quit. The real reason he wanted to quit, was because the class just hit a hard spot.
When life hits a hard spot in a job, or a relationship or a dream – you might think it is time to quit.
- You might think that the fact that you are having problems means it just won’t work out the way you wanted.
- You might think that the hard spot is proof that you were wrong about that dream being your destiny.
- You might think that God is telling you to turn and go back to what you had before.
- You might think that you are being called to a different dream.
- You might think you should close the door on this one as being the wrong one.
The only way to know that you should keep trying or quit, is to ask yourself the hard questions around why you are doing so. You need to look at your past and see what kinds of patterns you have in regards to trying harder or quitting. You just need to keep growing into the best version of yourself. Keep expanding your comfort zone. Wake up and be conscious enough to understand when the subconscious is leading you astray. To balance that understanding of when the subconscious is being tricky and telling you to walk away from something that you just had a setback with.
What are your dreams, visions, your life purpose? Are you on track to bring them into reality and complete them? Have you allowed distractions to side track you? Are you unclear on what your life purpose is or how to bring it into reality?
The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. As we share the lessons of each one’s individual journey, resilience is grown for everyone. Join us for the next conversation and become even more inspired to reach out and pull your dreams into reality.