Don’t Let Insecurities Run Your Life. Fight For Your Dreams.
“How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable” – Seth Godin – Author and Speaker
Your dreams are calling you. Are you answering them? Are you putting them through to voice mail because you don’t recognize the number? If you recognize the number, are you putting it through to voice mail because you don’t want to have that inner conversation with yourself?
You know that one where you argue with yourself about what you are doing versus what you are telling everyone you want to do.
- What causes you to procrastinate, to put things on hold?
- How many of your dreams do you currently have in voice mail waiting for you to pick up the phone and return the call?
- Is your voice mail now full and you are totally missing any new calls?
I know that if someone compliments me, the first thought in my mind is discounting what they said. When I was growing up my sister closest in age to me was always the pretty one, the beautiful one. She is 18 months younger, and her body matured faster than mine. She is several inches taller than my 5’3″. I was the smart one. This comparison ran through our childhood. To this day she carries that role of not being smart, even though it isn’t true. I carry the role of not being pretty and discount anyone who says that it isn’t true.
Isn’t it sad how you prove that those family comparisons are true, simply out of habit? You were told all of your life that this “story” created when you were tiny child is who you are and so you go around making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“What I know for sure is this: You are built not to shrink down to less, but to blossom into more. To be more splendid. To be more extraordinary” – Oprah
There are days when I get a lot of Facebook friend requests on my personal FB page. I am part of several large groups and whenever they have an influx of new people on their fan page, a number of people will friend request everyone in the group. It might also be that people figure out I am the founder of LemonadeMakers and request my personal Facebook friend page too.
Then there are some requests from men who think Facebook is a dating app. I try to screen them out but once in a while one makes it through. When they say they like my smile – which is the usual first comment they make, I immediately think something negative like that’s because you don’t see the rest of me.
Do you do that? What is it that causes you to turn away from a compliment about your looks, the quality of your work – anything that seems personal? People could compliment you about your children or grandchildren and you wouldn’t turn away from the compliment. Only if it is personal about you do the alarm bells go off.
“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start” – Nido Qubein
There was a commercial video I saw a few months back talking about the phrase “sorry” when we mean “excuse me”. It was about how often you apologize when you didn’t do anything wrong. It was by Pantene the shampoo company and it really reflected how many times you use it when you really mean something else. A turnaround of this commercial is great. Showing scene after scene of women who did not require validation from anyone else in the room. Women who walked in and owned the room, like the leaders that they in truth are. You don’t have to be the main character in “The Devil Wears Prada” to be successful, but you can take charge without apology.
You open an office door to talk to someone and say “sorry”. You brush by someone and say “sorry”. The list goes on. Share this with someone to help you keep track of how many times you do this for the next few weeks or watch to see how many times you see it happen. See how many times you or another woman says “sorry” when what should be said is “excuse me”. The suggestion is that we feel undeserving, and so say “I’m Sorry” for taking up your time, for taking up space, for thinking that you might have something to contribute.
“Take charge, and don’t apologize for it” – Elite Daily
Sheryl Sandberg was really talking about this when she said, “we’ve got to get women to sit at the table.” She talked about how she went to a conference room for a meeting and the women were not sitting at the conference table, they were sitting around the table in the extra chairs against the wall. They were doing this even though there were empty seats at the conference table.
You need to stop letting other people who lack courage or determination to follow through on their dreams, stop you from doing so with yours. You need to live your truth, and trust that you are more than worthy to sit at the table. You need to live your truth and honor what you have to contribute.
“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud” – Emile Zola
She felt that a big piece of why we don’t take a seat at the table is because we don’t want the label of “bossy” and the other “B” word when we take the lead. You shouldn’t be afraid to be as ambitious as a man. You should ask for what you want – the raise, the promotion, to take the lead. You shouldn’t be afraid to be told you have a beautiful smile.
So, I am ending this with my most favorite quote by Marianne Williamson because – How dare any of us settle for less when the world is waiting for us to be remarkable!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others” – Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”