On The Journey Of Self Transformation, You Need A Map

Imagining what we want next year is a far more powerful way to face the future than imaging what we fear.

– Marianne Williamson

Part of the process of planning out your dreams, goals, and visions of a better life is looking back to see what you have done so far. Where is your comfort zone today and what growth to it happened in 2019?

What you are capable of achieving is determined by your talent and ability. What you attempt to do is determined by your motivation. How well you do something is determined by your attitude.

– Lou Holtz

Part of my own growth was creating a pilot program with an opportunity for a scholarship to attend it. I combed through my old journals, things I had studied and notes from other peoples programs I have attended, to come up with some questions to get people to talk a little about their own hopes and dreams. I believe that we already know what needs to be done – that the questions we ask, already have answers deep inside of us.  That those answers have been waiting for us to be able to accept them as truths, and that timing is everything.  If you are reading this then I believe that the time for you is now.

I believe that sometimes we need someone else to ask the questions that send us searching for our own personal truths. The door is waiting for us to open it, and sometimes we just need to hear the invitation one more time.  That time is now.

Part of the process of self transformation is learning more about who we are.

  • All of us have some false assumptions around how long something is going to take us.
  • All of us have self limiting beliefs – which reminds me of Henry Ford’s quote – “Whether you think can, or you can’t, your right.”  We will always find a way to prove what we believe by subconsciously looking for ways to prove it.  Self limiting beliefs are a part of the self sabotage process, because subconsciously we don’t want to prove ourselves wrong.  We are afraid both of being wrong about our beliefs, or that there is truth out there that will change us.
  • We all live within a comfort zone that is maintained by all of the above beliefs.  We feel safe inside of it because it is what we know.  It is how we were raised, and how we have lived our life.  We will fight to protect it even as we maintain that we want to change.  When we venture to step over the line, we will create an emergency that pulls us back inside.
  • And if the stick doesn’t work in maintaining the comfort zone, the carrot will.  We will be offered something we have always wanted (that promotion and more responsibility at work), which will at the same time pull us away from what the universe is trying to reveal to us (because now we have to work late in order to learn everything about our new position and we don’t have the time to do anything else).
  • The last of the beliefs that we have is that in our need to find a way to change or transform – is that baby steps is the only way we can make a change.  We believe for example, that if we want to lose weight it must come off through a lot of self denial, hard work through exercise, and only 1 pound at a time.  That anything that happens fast or isn’t drastic can’t possibly work or will only work for a limited time.  Leaps of faith are unrealistic and just lead to dramatic falls.

In order to think or live differently, we need to understand our own life patterns.  There were some answers to the questions in the scholarship application that revealed some common patterns. Almost everyone had thought in the past twelve months about big life changes – such as moving some place new to them; finding a different job. This indicated that they were unhappy enough in their life to contemplate changing everything.

A vast majority wanted a better life in order to give back something good to the world.  I loved this, because even though they have some pretty big issues they were dealing with in their lives, they wanted something better not only for themselves, but to help others too.

They wanted to be better spouses, parents, better people.  These are all roles that we play in our lives.  It is normal to want to be the best, but sometimes we are so busy putting out the fires in our lives that we are too exhausted to put in the work it requires to be the best we can be.  To master the important things in our life.  The experts say it takes 10,000 hours to become a master of something – a master chef, a master wood carver, a master of anything.  Who has 10,000 hours to put into one thing?

Some of the applicants had just completed or were going through a divorce.  When you have a major transition take place in your life, like a death, divorce, or job loss, it becomes a time to take stock of who you are and where you are going.  Many times these transitions take away the thing we thought we were.  When the kids leave for college, how do you transition to an empty nester?  When you retire from your job, who are you now?

Around 50% of those who responded had problems in the past or were working towards sobriety and ending addictions.  There is not only living with the label of addict, there is a load of personal issues to work through because most of us who have some sort of addiction used it as a coping mechanism for our lives.  The problems we were running away from didn’t disappear just because we tried to.  How do we reconnect with who we are, accept it, work with it and transform it, all while dealing with all of our other problems?

The answers to the questions told me that most of us are looking to make big changes in our lives, we just need a little help to get started, and a little motivation to keep going and not let fears stop us.

Life presents you with so many decisions. A lot of times, they’re right in front of you.  Come join us and see how I created my own 20/20 vision for myself and for what I want to accomplish with LemonadeMakers for 2020.  Learn how to create your own personalized map, claim your own unique goals; refine them; learn how to understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.

It’s not just about writing some words on a piece of paper.  It’s not just about creating a vision board and then waiting for the “magic” to draw in what we want in our lives.  We are going to brainstorm our way, map out the detours around the obstacles, and fully implement your plan.

Just click below to go to a google form to collect your contact information so I can send you how to get on our Zoom call.  I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work.  But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started.  So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!

What I know for sure is that we all hit walls of failure, fatigue.  Life happens not to us, but for us.  I know that sometimes it feels like we are getting hit with a sledge hammer.  It helps us to have a few tricks up our sleeves to handle them so that they just create slowdowns when the rain or snow is coming down so hard and fast we can’t see.  And  maybe a few detours around washed out roads or bridges.  Just don’t give up and stop completely.   In the movie Star Man with Jeff Bridges there is a line about yellow lights when they are driving down the road.  “Starman: I watched you very carefully. Red light, stop; green light, go; yellow light, go very fast.”

Click below and let’s all learn to “go very fast”.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeejKI_wrjne5xWtEVcaa5oZPwRlsBZyhFkAw6ugsuOP0HDiA/viewform?usp=pp_url

 

Sheryl Silbaugh

I am married with 4 grown children who are all married and currently have 14 grandchildren and two great granddaughters. I work fulltime as a Director at Bank of America and I am the founder of LemonadeMakers.org, which is a website and Facebook page dedicated to personal transformation and growth. We all have life's lemons show up in our life, this website helps us to make them into lemonade.

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