“We have a definite conditioned dependency to think of things as worthwhile only if someone else recognizes their value. This painful kind of thinking not only leaves us trying to please others, but it also discourages us from embarking upon the exciting journey of self-investigation.” Guy Finley
This is probably the hardest thing I know of, to work on for me. This inbred thinking that what I have is only worth something if someone else says it is. Intellectually I know that the inner work I have done and the “gifts” that I have in and of itself are priceless. But as I speak with others and write these words of what the writings of others brings up in me, I still find myself looking for outside validation. This fear holds me back from writing, because what if I pour out my heart and no one likes it?
Guy Finley also writes that we must learn to stop thinking in terms of beginnings and ending, successes and failure,s and instead treat everything in our lives as a learning experience. That nothing in our life is a proving experience. By approaching our life this way we are able to focus on what stubborn clinging self defeating ideas and beliefs we still have. This is how I push myself to write from my heart, the belief that I am not proving myself, but rather learning about myself.
There is a video on YouTube called validation – it is a great video if you haven’t seen it. A man is at a parking garage and works at a podium where he is supposed to validate parking tickets and instead he validates the people. The world would be a great place if we all could let go of the fears that hold us back and instead shine out all of the beauty that we are deep inside. Watch the video today and smile!