“It is not the perfection of one’s life but the direction of a life that provides evidence of regeneration” = John Macarthur
My mother had this habit of saying that she was working on “getting it all together”. One day I found this cute little card and I had to buy it for her. It had the picture of a tall filing cabinet with the drawers partially open. There were files half way out of the cabinet with the papers spilling out of them. In one of the filing cabinets was a mouse going through the files looking for something. The caption read “I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it.”
“Happiness is not perfection. It’s looking past imperfection and see the beauty of life” – Surbhi Bhosie
Your life will not be fully lived if you are waiting on getting “all of your ducks in a row.” You have to begin where you are. Like the momma duck you need to starting walking and have faith that the ducks will line up behind of you. There is a joke about how when you finally got your ducks all in row, you’ll discover that they’re not even your ducks! It isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating something, anything that gets your closer to your dreams and goals.
It has been said, “If you want to get your ducks in a row, you must first get your head above water.” We are living in a world that is becoming hard to recognize as anything normal. If you work in sports, entertainment, retail, the restaurant industry, the travel industry – you may have lost your income. You may still be employed but working from home with children driving you to distraction. You may be caring for elderly parents terrified that they will get this virus. In one week you have decided that being a couch potato and binging on T.V. isn’t as relaxing as it sounds.
“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect, it simply means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections” – Iliketoquote.com
So with everything in your life going sideways or upside down, how do you find beauty in a world that feels like it is breaking apart? By creating beauty in the world, wherever you find yourself. There is an artist that did this magnificent beadwork on canvas, and then she tore it to explose of the beauty hidden underneath. When you find yourself feeling broken, remember to look for the beauty in the brokeness.
“I realized that to be more alive I had to be less afraid. So I did it. I lost my fear and gained my whole life” – Mantraband.com
In mosaics there is great beauty by taking the broken pieces and creating a new piece of art. It tells a story. Instead of throwing away the broken things in your life, look for ways to incorporate them into a new meaning. Don’t abandon your dreams and goals for 2020. Just look for new creative ways to keep growing your comfort zone and reveal the beauty of hidden possibilities and potential.
“The road remains wide open while your dreams are alive, only fear can block the way” – Fratley
What is it that you are currently focusing on? That is the direction you will find yourself heading. Years ago I was driving home from work one night. I saw that the car coming towards me had wandered into my lane. I quickly steered my vehicle off onto the shoulder of the road. The driver of the oncoming car continued crossing over into my direction. I could not get out of his way and he hit the side of my vehicle on the drivers side just past the passenger door. My vehicle was bouncing back and forth, from side to side. For a moment I thought I was going to roll the vehicle over.
I was sitting in my car, trying to calm my heart down and he came running back to my car. He kept repeating over and over how sorry he was. Apparently he was looking at the concrete wall that had been built into the hillside of a new subdivision and was not paying attention to where he was steering. When you look off to the side of the road, you will unconsciously steer in the direction that you are looking. By the time he realized he was going to hit me it was too late. He had not only left his lane, he had crossed completely through my lane and hit me off the road on the shoulder.
That is why focus is so important. It is so easy to swing the pendulum from one side to the other and not be grounded in the present. If you are too far to the right you might ask yourself:
What is running through your mind as the hamster wheel endlessly spins? Is it negative mind talk or positive “I can do this” thoughts? Have you basically already surrendered your life to fear and anxiety? Instead of listening to the minds endless list of “I can’t because thoughts” what if you turned the sentence around to view it with curiosity – “how can I?”
“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go” – Rumi
Right now there is a lot of things that you can’t control. Right now there is a lot of unknowns about what is going to happen next. The world is shifting and transforming right in front of you. Instead of feeling like running around and screaming “the world is falling” what if you just got still? If you just took a deep breath in and let it out slowly over and over until your mind quiets down? What if you sat in the space of learning to live between effort and surrender?
Something important to remember is that before you try to balance anything, you need to make sure that you are on firm ground. A steady foundation. Ask yourself, what do I need to stay grounded, in touch, in love, connected and emotionally balanced in this moment? You are not going to find it outside yourself. Look within, to find it.
What if you just looked at what to let go of – all of the cursed unknowns in your life right this moment, and just surrendered them. What if you got into the space of curiosity – of wonder – of imagination? What if you rethought/restructured what dream needs to take flight and just went for it right now?
Put your trust in your higher power. Embrace change. Embrace life. Expand instead of contract. There is tremendous power in your dreams. Use it to take flight. Start by recognizing your “super powers”, your talents and then find ways to serve others by using them. Do great work even in trying times.
There is an old curse that people used to say, according to various fiction writers. “May you live in interesting times.” It was meant to imply that you would live in times of great change and unrest. You might be wondering if you are today, this moment, living in interesting times. If you are, how do you “aim true”?
In thinking about this I wonder if you are in fact living in a time of great shifting and upheaval. Think of the change in a landscape after a volcano has blown its top. We used to live outside of Seattle, WA and I remember going camping, hiking and fishing around Mt. Saint Helens. When the mountain had its huge eruption, the landscape totally changed. You would walk down the same path as before, only it wasn’t the same. The eruption changed the landscape into something surreal.
Are you experiencing changes on a personal level, such as going to a grocery store with a list of items that you can’t find? For those few items you do find, are you being limited by the store as to how many items you can purchase?
One of the things I love to do is get curious about patterns and shifts in life. During WW II all of the men went off to war. This left factories without workers and so many women were called upon to join the workforce to keep the machines running. It was a time of great upheavals and shifts. When the men came home they expected the women to go back home to the kitchen. Women had stood in the place of their husbands or boyfriends and worked a fulfilling job for several years – as well as keeping care of the home and children. Many of them didn’t want to go back home into their old roles as solely a wife or mother. They felt that they could be more than that, and wanted it to continue.
Overnight it seemed that the roles of a man and woman had shifted. They had turned a corner and it wasn’t possible to just go back to the way it was. It’s taken a long time for those roles to continue shifting and solidifying into true equality. It is still going on to some extent.
It feels like you may be about to have a similar experience of what happened to the workforce during WW II. What if the result of this virus is that you are about to experience a “turning of the corner” moment, in multiple ways of how you used to live your life?
“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is” – Unknown
Malls have been slowly dying for the past 10 years or so. Is this the end of malls?
Working from home has been moving one step forward, two back for a few years. Where I work it wasn’t encouraged. It was well tolerated for a few years, but lately they had decided they wouldn’t approve it for fulltime employees who wanted to shift from the office to home any longer. Now of course for those states on lockdown everyone who can work from home is. If this home lockdown truly continues for a couple of months, will businesses have turned a corner and begin abandoning commercial multistoried office buildings? Will working from home become the “norm” of the future?
Has the virus killed ISP data caps? Internet providers have been lifting the data caps due to everyone being at home and using the internet – both for work and entertainment. Once you have given something away for free, it is very hard to put the genie back into the bottle. It becomes a negative experience for your customers and they will go to someone who is still not capping their online connections.
What if we have just “turned the corner” for movie theaters? You see Disney and several other companies releasing the movies to either buying the movie or streaming it and paying to view it. If this was to continue there would be need to be a drastic change to how much it cost to make a movie in order for the industry to survive. Would the mega dollars paid to the big stars go away? Would movies become all computer generated, with voices being the only real part of the movie?
What about the million dollar contracts for sports stars if the big arenas were no longer deemed safe?
Once you start down the rabbit hole of wondering, there is no telling where you might end up. The world is full of patterns. The patterns continue until they transform, collapse or end. When you are in the middle of a pattern that is in transition, it is really hard to recognize what is happening. Even if you recognize that a pattern shift is being played out, it is really hard to determine where it is going. It is impossible to guess how fast or slow the change will be, or how much it will impact you. You just know that transformation is in motion.
If you go back to the caterpillar to butterfly analogy you are inside the chrysalis and you are still just goo. Until you break free of the chrysalis you won’t know what it is that you have transformed into. You won’t know the true impact on your life. What corner(s) have you just turned that you can never go back from? It is like one of those pictures that you can connect the dots on. It is only after the transformation has been completed that you can see what you have transformed into.
I feel like there is an elephant trying to go through a door and it has gotten itself stuck. On the other side of the door is a brand new world to explore. I can get glimpses to see that it is a new world. I can’t however know how much of a change has actually occurred.
Will we all be working from home and will commercial real estate transform all of those buildings into housing? What would that mean for your goals that you are aiming for in your life?
Will the majority of people order groceries and have home delivery? Will grocery stores become more of a shipping facility than a store where you walk down the aisles and buy more than you planned on because of impulse buying? What would that mean for your goals that you are aiming for in your life?
Will drones become the future of deliveries? Will self driving cars that self sanitize become the way of getting from point A to point B if you do have to leave home? What would that mean for your goals that you are aiming for in your life?
All questions and answers can be discussed and explored – but nothing will be truly known until the elephant clears the doorway. Even then it will take time to fully realize that the corner has been completely turned. Before you can see how much the new direction impacts your life.
What you have in this moment though is the ability to be curious. To explore, not with a depressing attitude that the world is changing and you want it to remain the same. But with a curiosity that says, “I wonder what happens next?” “Do I aim high or low with my life goals and dreams?”
I firmly believe that there are going to be some great opportunities when we clear that doorway – when we turn that corner. You can make guesses. You can get curious and talk with others – but only from the perspective of good things are about to happen. This isn’t said to try and make light of the health and economic devastations that are happening. It is said to let you know that you don’t have to let fear take over your life.
You can’t control everything that is happening, or is about to happen. You can take the recommended steps to protect the health of yourself and your family. But once you have taken those steps – then go back into curiosity. Go back into wonder. Stay in the positive emotions of love, joy, happiness. Tell fear that it is in quarantine. Don’t let it out to take over your life.
Come and join our conversation on April 4th. Let’s talk about whatever is showing up for you and how you can turn the corner on fear and change your relationship with it. Let’s talk about your dreams and goals and how you can still be proactive in bringing them into reality. This isn’t the time to go into retraction with your life. It is instead the right time, to proactively take whatever positive steps you can to keep moving forward. To keep expanding the love, joy, happiness, curiosity in your life.
“Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious” – Rachel Wolchin
You are hearing these words a lot in todays media – “Out of an abundance of caution”. It is almost always followed by something that is being cancelled or changing to an online streaming event. The city of San Jose required that Tony Robbins cancel his upcoming event in March “Out of an abundance of caution”. When you hear those words “out of an abundance of caution” how does it feel to the energy in your body? Is is constrictive? Restrictive? Does it feel like the turtle pulling in his head and legs so that all you can see is a hard shell?
“Don’t adapt to the energy in the room. Influence the energy in the room” – FabQuote.co
You have dreams, desires, and ambition for your life. You have goals that you want to bring to fruition this week; this month; and this year. When you live your life from that kind of positive energy, it attracts others who feel the same. You experience movement, progress unlike the turtle who is motionless, hiding in his shell. If you live your life from “an abundance of caution” what you will experience is being motionless, frozen in time and space. It is important to surround yourself with people who not only live from a space of abundance, but an abundance that is expansive, not contractive.
“The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself” – Unknown
Words and music both have an energy that plays with your emotions. I can listen to a sound track of almost any movie and immediately feel the emotions that they are creating. If I have seen the movie I can see the scene itself. Here is where someone was in danger – here is where they were really happy – here is where their heart was broken. The words we hear also impact us emotionally. Negative words will drain your energy and introduce fear into your spirit. Fear itself is like a virus that will grow and take over your life if you are not aware of it being inside your energy field. It contracts you just like that turtle to hide away. To be safe.
“Stick with people who pull the magic out of you, not the madness” – Unknown
Instead be like the eagle. When the storm breaks most birds fly to a safe tree branch to hide from the weather. But not the eagle. The eagle flies above the storm. So be like an eagle and fly above the madness you see happening around you. Feel the positive energy of the eagle as you fly with it, above the madness of the storm and into the magic above it. The magic happens when you attract other positive energy people around you, as you support each other reaching up into the heights.
Here is some good advice from Vex King to protect your positive energy:
“Let me remind you: Wherever your focus is directed that’s where your energy goes. Whatever you allow in your space, you eventually become” – Overlyxclusive
So when the world goes mad, fly high above the madness. Self direct your energy instead of letting it be manipulated by negative fearful people. The media spreads the virus of fear, making everything “breaking news”. Stop letting anyone else control your mind, your feelings, and emotions. Remember what you focus on determines the reality that you are currently experiencing. It is easy to let the negative mind take over with possible world ending scenarios that expand your fears until you can no longer think logically. The secret is to focus on what builds up, not what tears down.
“She was unstoppable not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she continued despite them” – Beau Taplin
So match your own personal energy to that you want to attract in your life. Positive thoughts change your experience of life. Every smile, every loving word, every kind action are reflections of who you are. So dream BIG, stay FOCUSED, work HARD, be KIND.
“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you” – Unknown
In April of 2010 around 11 PM as my nephew and a friend were cutting across the park to go to his friends mom’s house the first shot was fired. As my nephew was hit, he yelled at his friend to run. When the second shot hit my nephew his friend started running. As the third shot hit my nephew and he crumpled to the ground his friend stopped, turned around and saw the shooter emerge from the bushes and take off running.
His friend helped him up and somehow got my nephew to his moms house and they called 911 for an ambulance. The doctors tried to get a lifeline helicopter but the fog that night was too thick for the helicopter. After working on him for over an hour, they thought they had him stable enough for transport to another hospital 30-45 min away. As my sister tried to catch up to the ambulance driving over the mountain pass, they phoned her to tell her to turn around. My nephew had died in route.
Let’s go back in time to the beginning of this fateful Friday. My nephew woke up early and grabbed his surfboard. On the way to Lighthouse field he stopped and gave away some breakfast sandwiches he had made to several homeless guys as he checked in on them. It was a regular routine for him to encourage them to quit drinking and take back control over their lives. He then went on to meeting one of his best friends at Lighthouse Field. His friend was going to film him surfing. The waves were supposed to be really good and he had this trick he had been working on for some time. He wanted to have it filmed so he could see what it looked like. The waves were as predicted and he nailed his trick.
From there he went to work at O’Neils Surf shop. Then he met another friend and together they went to another friends house. Close to 11 PM they started across the park so he could get his bike and ride home. Then “Shots Fired” happened. A random gang banger shooting. The shooter never said a word. He just blew up our world from the cover of darkness for no reason that we could ever understand.
“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us” – suburbanment.com
Fast forward a few years. Our family is still recovering from my nephews murder. My sister started a non-profit Mother Grizzles Against Gangs, but she ran out of money and closed it down.
Santa Cruz Sentinel 2014> "Four years ago this month, JoAnn Tennent lost her only child in a shooting near Grandview Street in Santa Cruz. Carl Reimer was 19, and no one has been arrested in his homicide. Wednesday evening outside Santa Cruz City Hall, Tennent shared her grief with more than 80 people gathered at the third annual Victims Rights March of Solidarity. She also carried a message of hope and strength to stand together against gangs and violence in Santa Cruz County. “Carl wasn't just my son, he was your son. Because all your children are my children too,” she said. “When someone takes someone from your life, it's devastating. We can't just act like this doesn't happen.” As part of National Crime Victims” Rights Week, the march started at Santa Cruz County Superior Court at 701 Ocean St. and ended at city hall. Participants held pictures of loved ones who had fallen victim to crime in the county, and they marched with posters with slogans such as “Stop gang violence” and “Violence does not only affect the victim.”"
As a coping mechanism I had started writing to heal my sadness and grief. I was posting things on my personal Facebook page that I was writing. I thought just maybe it would help my friends and family. We were all rebuilding our lives around Carl’s loss.
“if you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed” – Unknown
A lot of people started commenting and sharing what I was writing and they encouraged me to do more. And so this LemonadeMaker page was born. I named it LemonadeMaker because I believe that we are all making lemonade out of life’s lemons. It all started as part of my own recovery, and it grew into a life purpose. It’s a vast vision, a dream that I work to fulfill every day. It’s a calling. Although we lost someone we loved so much – the day of his death was also a day that Carl was following his own dreams. He had a great morning. He was really stoked that he had nailed his trick with his surfboard. He wasn’t leaving his dreams for someday I will . . . , he was living them on purpose.
“In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths” – Quoteslife101.net
I looked at my life and realized I wasn’t doing the same. I was putting off my dreams for when I retired. For later. So when I started LemonadeMakers it was for the purpose of realizing my dreams of being a game changer. Of being an influencer. Of helping others to fulfill their dreams now. Because none of us are promised a later to do it in.
Steven Pressfield stated in “The Art of War”, that most of us have two lives; the lives we live and the lives we are capable of living.
5 years later LemonadeMakers has almost 100,000 followers. This happened because I saw something positive to retrieve from the ashes of my grief. My nephew left me a trail to follow and I have been walking down it ever since. It has totally changed my life. I had put off the dream of writing, because my mind fears said I would fail. Obviously that wasn’t true. I had told myself for years that I was an introvert and couldn’t communicate with strangers. Too my surprise this was also totally not true. How many mind fears – lies – are you listening too instead of pursuing your dreams?
Don’t put your dreams off to tomorrow. Start fulfilling them today. Live the life you are capable of living.
Sign up now. Click the button to register now.
“Know what sparks the light in you, then use that light to illuminate the world” – Oprah
Inside of you is a box of matches. Each of the matchsticks is a gift that you have to Illuminate the world with. Striking the match enables you to bring light to some sort of darkness in the world. The darkness is filled with all of the problems in society we face today. Each time you light one of your matchsticks, you can see some small part of what is hiding in the darkness. Your light will always shine on something that you can help to change in the world.
“Forget about the fast lane. If you want to fly, just harness your power to your passion. Honor your calling. Everybody has one. Trust your heart and success will come to you” – Oprah
If you are brave enough, you strike a match and get curious about the secrets that are hiding in the darkness. Inside of every one of societies problems lies the seed of the answer to what must be changed. Those seeds are germinated with your passion. In order for change to happen, it requires that you strike a match, get curious, and get creative about how to illuminate the possibilities within the seeds. Trust your heart and your calling will light the way.
“To be a star, you must walk your own path, shine you own light and don’t be afraid of the darkness, that’s when a star shines the brightest” – Joel Brown
In times of hardship the automatic reflex is to contract, when in fact you need to expand. You feel that life is shutting you out. That failure is condemning you. Life is unfair, so you wail and kick your feet in frustration. You just want to dig a hole and disappear into it forever. Yet this is the exact time you must open your hands to receive.
“You’re beautiful because you know your own darkness and still, that alone doesn’t stop you from finding your own light” – r.m. drake
Receiving isn’t just allowing someone to help you. It is also saying yes to yourself; to risk; to higher potential; to new adventures. Opening doors to new opportunities. Learning about yourself. Life is all about understanding something you’ve known about your entire life – in a new way. Be willing to be a beginner again, for a whole new world of opportunities is just waiting for you.
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lit the flame within us” – Albert Schweitzer
Somedays it feels like you just can’t motivate yourself to get out of bed. You’re exhausted from beating your head against the obstacles in your life. There are dark shadows obscuring your ability to see what needs to be done. You try to strike a new match to get clarity and nothing happens. You try another match. Then you try a new area to strike the match.
“Be a lamp, a lifeboat, a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd” – Rumi
Sometimes you will need to your light to be rekindled from someone else’s light, and sometimes you can help to illuminate their light source. That is the importance of being part of a tribe. Connection to others who are shining their lights to change themselves and thereby change the world. Instead of just being preoccupied with your problems, you open your heart to the adventures and obstacles of their journey, and your own journey becomes illuminated.
“Most of us are about as eager to be changed as we were to be born, and go through our changes in a similar state of shock” – James Baldwin
Steven Pressfield stated in “The Art of War”, that most of us have two lives; the lives we live and the lives we are capable of living. Many times the worst danger you face is your own uncertainty that what the light is revealing is something that you can face and deal with. Curiosity may have opened the door but what you find may feel like what you have discovered is going to kill you.
“Mosaics are made from broken pieces, but they’re still beautiful works of art, and so are you” – Unknown
Truth will both refine you and define you. It measures you. It takes caution and understanding to know what to do with the truth of who you are. To accept who you have been in the past. To be in awe of who you are revealing yourself to be today. Part of the search for understanding who you came here to be, is to understand that change is how you grow those seeds which crush the obstacles in your path. Spirit understands whatever adversity you face, is also an opportunity. That when you embrace change, change also embraces you.
“Illumination is nothing if you do not share it with anyone. Illumination is about spreading light across entire nations. It’s about wearing that crown that shines like the sun on your head, and getting other minds to synergize with yours” – Suzy Kassem
If you have a vision but no plan, then you have a pipe dream. If you have a vision and a focused plan but lack action, then you’ll have a lot of frustration. This is because you won’t achieve momentum when some days you take action, and some days you don’t. It makes it impossible for you to know what’s working and what isn’t. If you are not intentional about what you say yes to, and what you say no to, then every day will control you and nothing will get done.
That’s where illumination comes in. That’s where striking your match comes in. Come join us on March 7th for our next monthly free webinar on how to live your life with 20/20 focus. How to keep your lamp lit. How to strike your matches and use those divine gifts with purpose to not only shift and change your world, but the entire world. Come and renew yourself. Find your spark and light up those matches!
“Without a vision, where is the focus? ” – Lailah Gifty Akita
Vision tells us our destination. It doesn’t tell us how to get there, it just tells us how we will know when we arrive. Focus is what helps up to do the work to arrive at the destination that vision has uncovered in our heart. Focus is the road to the destination. If we don’t have a vision we can’t have a destination. Without focus, we will find ourselves asleep wandering lost in the forest. We will just keep going in circles back to where we started. Lost, dazed and confused.
If you look back at last year – did you follow your vision or did you go in circles?
Without focus you travel down the road forgetting where you came from. The journey becomes the destination in a twisted sort of way. You will find yourself trying to fill a bottomless hole by acquiring more of everything. To possess things which promise to make you whole, but which instead create an insatiable appetite for more and more. Without focus life becomes a merry go round that never stops.
“When you are clear on your vision, it will pull you forward and out of bed in the morning” – Sean McCabe
We have all heard the story of the person who worked at a job for 30 years, retires and gets the gold watch. Then after a short while of sitting at home with nothing to do, they die. They never uncovered their life purpose, their reason for living. They dragged themselves out of bed each day and went to a job that didn’t fulfill them. They never discovered the reason they were born. Instead they punched a time clock day after day, month after month, until the years fled. They never found their way out of the forest.
“Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but by what your mind can imagine” – Ellison Onizuka
Awaken the sleeper
The only way to find that vision, your life purpose is to look for it. It is deep inside your heart. It is connected to the things that you love to do. It’s not about something that happens in some distant future. It is about the quality of choices you are making in your life this moment. It’s about what you choose to see, to perceive, to feel and what you choose to do in this moment of time. The choices that push you to engage in life at its deepest meaning for you. It changes who you are NOW.
“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens” – Carl Jung
It’s a funny thing when one day you wake up to your vision. You might have been wandering in circles for years, looking for that one special person or that title at work that said “I have arrived!”. You might have worked your fingers to the bone for years to find elusive fame and fortune. Whatever you thought was the answer to that longing deep in your heart, once you had it, you discovered it wasn’t it. It was just another circle in the forest. Then one day it happens. You finally realize it isn’t outside of you. It’s not a person, a career, money in the bank, a dream house or car. It is something inside of you that is calling you home.
“Vision is a destination – a fixed point to which we focus all effort. Strategy is a route – an adaptable path to get us where we want to go” – Simon Sinek
Usually what wakes you up is being disillusioned, disappointed, that feeling you have hit rock bottom. Too many bad decisions and failed plans. When you stop fighting the uphill battle, give up and give in – when you are in that spot of finally understanding what it means to “let go and let God” it finally happens. Your heart feels calm, whole and centered. Your soul comes alive and feels truly safe for the first time because finally we are listening to the inner voice.
Listening with your heart and soul
Your vision becomes clear as you climb a high tree and see the way out of the forest of lost causes. You understand the connections to what has happened in your life and how each trial and tribulation, each circle around the forest was teaching you something vital that you needed to learn. Peace with your past, present and future permeates your bones. You see far off the destination your soul is leading you to. You realize the importance of the journey.
The journey has places where you became confused as to what the right choice was – at the same time that confusion is where you learned something new that stretched your comfort zone. The journey was where you were betrayed and broken by someone you thought loved you and would never hurt you – at the same time it was how you learned to heal your heart. The journey lead to lots of frustration as you tried and failed, over and over to learn something critical to your dreams – at the same time those frustrations lead to more authentic decisions based on your own judgment and not someone else’s.
Make the right choice
Even the parts of the journey where the sadness was a deep pit of despair, you learned to listen the heart, hear the words of wisdom of the soul and recover your happiness and joy.
2020 is the year of focus, and vision. Take a look at every goal in the past five years that you have set. Some of them failed dramatically. Some of them were duds that didn’t even get lift off before they came crashing down. Some were planned to turn out one way and actually came about 180 degrees in another direction.
Now program your GPS system with your updated vision. Get clear about what it is you want to feel and be open to the feeling and not how or what is going to get you there. Look for signs, clues, and ask for directions. Don’t give up on your dreams. Listen to the voice in your heart and soul. Get back on track to where you are supposed to be.
Have a vision
Believe in yourself
Get out there, own the day
I’m inviting you to a virtual get together. We will share some ideas and concepts of how you can make 2020 the year of focus and vision for you. Learn how to create your own personalized dream map, claim your own unique goals of change and transformation; refine them into goal crushing gremlins; and finally, to truly understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
Your destiny has been calling you to wake up, but your fears create patterns of self sabotage. Those patterns of self sabotage have been trying to put you back asleep. Learn how to stay awake and walk the clear path to your date with destiny.
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“Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important” – Mark Manson
Every year we commit ourselves to making changes in our lives. We may or may not call them goals, or new years resolutions. The thing is that we all change, whether it is on purpose or it just happens. Those changes can happen in uncontrolled chaos, or from being committed to something vitally important. Whether change happens to us or for us, it is up to us to make those decisions, day by day & moment by moment.
“I wish for the same thing I’ve hoped for since the beginning. I wish for a life so brave, so unpredictable, so full of unexpected joys and unforgettable love that no box could possible contain all my memories. Such a life won’t be perfect. It’ll be something better. It’ll be my own paradise” – Patti Smith
I think that the one thing all of humanity can agree on, is wanting a happy life. It may look different depending on our age, our sexual preference, our religion, our culture, our politics – but it is still desiring joy and happiness in our lives, and our families lives. Each decision that we make in this regard comes from us following those things mentioned above. The funny thing is, the personal definition of what constitutes all of those things — may not be authentic to who we are at a soul level. A lot of them come from following someone else’s value system. Our parents, our teachers, our mentors or the society that we associate with. As they say in Texas, “that dog don’t hunt”.
“Finding the passion and purpose in your life is a trial-by-fire process. You don’t simply wake up one day and become happy doing one thing forever and ever. It’s a constant work-in-progress” – Mark Manson
It’s kind of funny how we have this notion in our head that if we are able to make this one change or answer this one soul searching question about our life, that it will be a one and done thing. That somehow one thing changing would make us happy forever. There is no one-size-fits-all for anything in life. This is because growth is a constantly changing who we are. What makes us happy today in this moment is fleeting. This is because in life, you literally cannot pass this way again. Everything is changing and so this moment in time doesn’t last, it doesn’t repeat itself. Progress is change.
“Passion will move men beyond themselves, beyond their shortcomings, beyond their failures” – Joseph Campbell
What I love about figuring out how to accomplish my desires is the concept of failure as an ending. When you are on your way to someplace that you’ve never been before, even with a navigation system you sometimes end up on a dead end. Just this past week I had a doctors visit and they had moved their office. So I am following the directions on the navigation system in my car and I end up at a dead end. Thankfully there were some security guards talking next to this gate to the high school who knew where I needed to go.
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle” – Christian D Larson
Reaching a dead end, my journey to the doctors office had failed. I didn’t just turn around and go back home. I sought new directions. It’s the same thing with whatever our current life goals are. If you reach a road block, a dead end, the bridge is out – you shouldn’t just quit trying to get to where your passion is leading you. You should try something else. You should go in a new direction to the same destination.
“If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world” – Elaine Dalton
A big part of being able to make the changes in your life that you desire, is a healthy self esteem. It is how you bring your life into soul alignment. It is living a life in integrity to your soul’s purpose. What your true values are deep inside of you. Without going through a process of determining what belongs to your soul – and what was adopted from outside of you from an deep seated need to belong – you can’t make true lasting changes in your life. You can make temporary changes from will power, but it will not result in the personal transformation that you desire.
“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do you won’t be able to talk to your heart” – Paulo Coelho
If you don’t want to continue falling back into old patterns and habits you need to learn a new way to facilitate your life changes. To learn a process that helps you to spot the patterns as they begin again to interfere in your passions and desires for change. As you increase your awareness, you will find those old patterns hold less power and control over your life. They began from a desire to keep us safe. But as you grow and change in life, those patterns become out-grown, outdated. They need to be released. That can only happen by your developing awareness of why you created them and how your subconscious is trying to avoid the risk of standing out and being different.
This year you have some dreams that you are working on. You have some goals that you are struggling with. It might be that you are ready to break out of your comfort zone. To go to that next level in your life. To realize your full potential in your job/career; your personal relationships; your health; financial or spiritual goals. Don’t let them go.
Do something different, join us on March 7th and find a new direction to fulfilling your dreams, goals and commitments.
What I love about life is the ability to always make a change. To do something different. To be someone different. It’s all about choice.
There are many people who look at their lives and decide they have no choices. That life is somehow against them. That they can’t be any different. It is the excuse of people who feel hopeless and helpless. But the reality is that you do get to decide how you are going to live your life.
Is this the life
you want to live?
“There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That’s when the real work begins. To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all” – Christina Yang
When you are in the middle of life’s storms it may seem like all of the trees have been blown over. The roots were just not strong enough to keep the tree anchored in the soil. The homes around you may have suffered extreme damage and become uninhabitable. They weren’t maintained or strong enough to survive the hurricane force winds. When every structure you have created in your life has been ripped apart – what then?
That is the moment to notice that you are still here. You may not be standing, you may have been knocked down. But you are not out. It is in this moment of realizing that you have survived that you can take stock of your life. Because it is in this moment you learn that you were strong enough to survive. That you get to decide what happens next.
Is this the person you want to be?
Are these the relationships you want in your life?
Is this the job/career you desire?
Is this the BEST YOU CAN BE?
Can you be stronger?
I’m sure that you have heard the saying “let go and let God”. It is one of my constant reminders to myself. It feels like letting go is easy. It’s sort of like handing over the trouble to someone else to handle. It relieves you of the responsibility of how things turn out. But at the same time it is human to keep the comfort zone the same. So while you are busy telling yourself that you have let go, you are in fact fighting to keep things the same.
“Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. It’s also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to” – Meredith Gray
How do you know if you’re fighting to keep it? You haven’t moved on. Because in order to have a real change in your life, no matter how painful it is, you have to let go and move on. It’s the only way we can continue to grow.
Letting go is a release. If you have the balloons all stacked up and tied together, they aren’t going anywhere. It’s when you let the wind take up the balloon and blow it across the sky until you can’t see it anymore – that’s when you have really let it go. What you are letting go of is not the dream itself, but the version of the dream you were trying to fulfill.
I think it is human to have some really deep seated desires, beliefs, wishes that you know aren’t ever really going to happen. You were raised to believe in fairy tales, in the tooth fairy, or Santa Claus, in the white knight in shining armor that was going to sweep in and rescue you. You told yourself they weren’t real. You thought you had released them. Then something in life happens, and you realize you are still holding out for that forgotten dream.
It’s that kind of faith, in realities not yet beheld, that keeps us going. And once in awhile something comes into your life that gives you hope. The hope that just maybe that thing you are still hoping for, fighting for, might just come true. That you are going to turn the corner and have your breath taken away by the surprise of how it shows up.
“The best thing in life is to go ahead with all your plans and your dreams, to embrace life and to live life everyday with passion, to lose and still keep the faith and to win while being grateful. All of this because the world belongs to those who dare to go after what they want. And because life is really too short to be insignificant” – Charlie Chaplin
I think that sometimes we don’t see it, because we are demanding that it to show up in a certain way. When in reality it has been in front of us all along. It’s like the love story when the boy or girl is looking at someone as being their soul mate, when in reality the best friend they’ve had their entire life is the one. They didn’t see what they already had.
I think that is what new endings are all about. To realize that the fairy tale is just slightly different than what you have been looking for. That the dream is here right in front of you, just waiting for you to see it in its disguise.
“She woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. she realized that opinions were a dime a zone, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket” – Lessons Taught By Life
This year you have some dreams that you are working on. You have some goals that you are struggling with. It might be that you are ready to break out of your comfort zone. To go to that next level in your life. To realize your full potential in your job/career; your personal relationships; your health; financial or spiritual goals. Don’t let them go.
Join us on March 7th and find a new direction to fulfilling your dreams, goals and commitments.
We are just about two months into the new year. Did you make some new years resolutions, goals, plans for this year?
Some people make goals that are giving something up for a limited time or forever. Some people make goals to bring something new into their life. What you discover every single year is that change is hard. And if that change is motivated by will power alone, it will not last.
“In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be” – The Dreamer
So how are you doing on those goals, plans and intentions to change?
What is your definition of progress?
Having 20/20 vision means that we have done the work to see the connections to what we have decided to change and where we are going with our dreams this year. We have spent the time to map out the year so that we can make some actual progress towards those dreams, instead of letting fears and excuses stall our journey.
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place” – Unknown
Instead of hiding who you are, be bold and step out into the world proclaiming “I am here”. Stop hiding your dreams, thinking that way no one can destroy them any further. Learn to trust your heart and listen to it. Give up on settling for what is possible, and demand your part in the dance of life.
“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it” – Unknown
There is only one way to truly know who you are deep down inside. You have to get in touch with your own soul. You need to be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and just listen. Looking back at your life, find the places where you were really happy. Find the things that are so easy for you to do, that others find hard or impossible. Trace back all of the threads that have your name engraved upon them. Start picking out and removing all of the threads that are not you. Look for the gold and silver pieces and toss out the dross. Now look for the patterns that are left.
It is never too late to be who you were meant to be
The threads of genius that are all you, can now be taken up and made into whatever pattern you want. It is never too late to be who you were meant to be. When you make this journey deep into your soul, you will discover that your life can only change by completely shaking it up. You need to remove what doesn’t belong and then figure out how to rearrange what does. It is an individual journey that defines who you are. You can only discover your truth by looking for it down deep within and then integrating it into your life. 20/20 vision is a lifetime adventure. This journey is for you alone. Embrace it and life it fully.
“To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” – Deepak Chopra
So, how do you make this the year that you transform your life? You do it by finding the pattern that you fit into. If you were to read everything about changing your life with new years resolutions, goals and plans that has been published just this month you might find it overwhelming. Everyone has different ideas about what works. What they really mean is what worked for them.
It’s an individual journey, one size does not fit all
What I have found is that it is really all about making the connections to what I am taking away or adding to my life purpose. I pick what sounds right deep inside of me and leave the rest behind. When I do this, it becomes an infinity loop of expending and getting back energy to keep doing the work. I want to share this process with you, so that you too can be like Goldilocks and find the pieces that fit just right.
“The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated. It isn’t true that everyone should follow one path. Listen to your own truth” – Ram Dass
It’s an individual journey and one size does not fit all. Making your dream a reality isn’t easy. It is sort of like having a puzzle that has the same picture that others have, but your puzzle pieces are cut slightly different. You are missing some pieces and so you discover that they are not inter-changeable. Some pieces might fit, but others won’t. So you have to go to a lot of different puzzles to find the missing pieces that will fit. It’s a risk because each piece that doesn’t really fit, becomes a failure on your part.
“. . . it’s a life’s journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else . . . ” – Mariska Hargitay
If you don’t take the risks, make the changes and transform your life, then your destiny will not be fulfilled. In order to make this a little easier I would love to share with you what I have found. It’s a method of taking bits and pieces from all different methods of change and transformation and creating a pattern that allows me to plug in things that work for me.
You decide what methods of change work for you
Register now to get started.
During the call you will have the opportunity to create, find a pivot or two, reimagine and refuel your life dreams. Start moving that needle of change that you have been working on. You decide what methods of change work for you. Only take the pieces that your soul says yes to. This is an ongoing monthly call in which we share strategies, methodologies, ideas and concepts from many thought leaders. You get to share with others what’s working for you and hear what is working for others. We can all learn from each other sharing both successes and failures.
“The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called failure. A loop called confusion. Speed bumps called friends. Red lights called enemies. Caution lights called family. You will have flat tires called jobs. But if you have determination, an engine called perseverance, and a driver called God you will make it to a place called success!” – drostdesigns.com
This isn’t just about a vision board or an accountability partner. It isn’t just about will power or a positive attitude. Make 20/20 be the year that you don’t get overwhelmed and quit. That this time frustration doesn’t get you stuck in the mud of “it’s just isn’t working” and you give up. It’s about getting past the negative mind talk and making real progress towards your dreams. It is about getting on the road of good intentions and actually getting somewhere.
What I know for sure is that we all hit walls of failure, fatigue, and flat tires. It helps us to have a few tricks up our sleeves to handle them so that they just create slowdowns and maybe a few detours, but don’t stop us completely.
Make this your year of shift, change and transformation. Get 20/20 vision, insight and find your missing puzzle pieces. Complete your own puzzle and see the full picture of who you are becoming.
“Sometimes, thing don’t go as planned. Life doesn’t always go the way you hope it will. You can’t plan everything. Life takes you where it wants to – you’re pretty much just along for the ride! Just breathe – Re-Evaluate – Step out of the box – Forgive – Be grateful.” – Namala Lakesh
I believe in plans. But I also believe in being flexible. I believe in taking stock and making constant adjustments. It’s like a sailboat. You are subject to winds and currents, but with the rudder and sails, you have the ability to maneuver into the direction you want to go. Which is why I love the way I plan out my month and year. I make plans and then as life happens I see where I need to make adjustments. To re-evaluate what is really most important in the current time and space to accomplish. That’s why I am sharing this system with all of you. It works!
“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails.” – Elizabeth Edwards
Sometimes things happen in the reverse order of your expectations. The patience comes in because you automatically put expectations on the plans. You visualize them out step by step, and then life happens. You lose you job, the promised promotion and/or raise doesn’t materialize. Someone close to you is faced with a critical medical diagnosis. The money you had planned for vacation now has to go to put in new plumbing. In short, life happens. You need to adjust your sails.
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” – Michael Jordan
Sometimes obstacles are like the monsters under the bed. You hear a noise. Your imagination runs wild. Your heartbeat goes out of control. Suddenly you are screaming. And it was all in your head. Other times they are legitimate. I remember one of the contestants in America’s Got Talent had been a singer, then tragedy struck. She went deaf from a medical condition. She stopped singing and gave up her career.
“Our life doesn’t always turn out the way we planned, but sometimes that’s because what we planned wasn’t suppose to be our life.” – Gdonell
Mandy said in an interview, “I made the mistake of associating my entire identity with one single dream, and when that dream died, I very much felt like I died. I became a husk of a person for awhile.”
“Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes heading in a new direction can be scary until you realize you’re headed toward a new and exciting destination.” – Susan Cole
Then she got an electric tuner and spent 10 hours learning to sing each note perfectly. “I couldn’t believe it”, she says, “My perfect pitch and muscle memory all came together.” Mandy Harvey.
“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.” – Michele Ruiz
Then one day she decided to stop fighting against her dreams and start fighting for them. She began writing her own songs and singing again. She discovered that this real obstacle could be overcome. She discovered that a big chunk of the real obstacle was in her own mind. Singing a song she composed she got sent straight through to the finals on America’s Got Talent. She finished fourth.
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, and let go and see what happens.” – Mandy Hale
If you take a good honest look at your life so far, you will see times where what you had planned fell apart – and that it was a good thing. You underestimated what you were are capable of. You made plans that were far too limiting in regards to your potential. When you let go of the expectation of the plan, and how it should go – and instead learned to feel your way with intuition, amazing things happened.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
You discover hidden talents. You uncover better ways to expand your comfort zones. So when the path you are walking on changes direction, don’t be afraid to keep going. When the sign says “dead end” don’t be afraid to go off the path and create your own. When the wind blows you backwards, grab a tree and hold on. When life challenges you to sit it out, get up and fight to keep moving forward.
“If we can just let go and trust that things will work out the way they’re supposed to, without trying to control the outcomes, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.” – Goldie Hawn
LemonadeMakers is hosting a monthly free class on goals, resolutions, plans – whatever you want to call your means of change and transformation in your life. We discuss on a live Zoom call what is happening that is working and not working. Ideas to try to get us motivated to change and transform our lives. Where we might re-evaluate our plans. How to adjust our sails.
We invite you to join with us the first Saturday of every month. The next class registration is opening today. Come join us! Click on the box to register now.
This year of 2020, in the month April it will mark the 10 year anniversary of Carl’s murder. His 29th birthday was last month. It’s hard to process everything that has happened as a consequence of that happening in our family. My sister has more good days than bad, but she is still and will probably always be stuck in her loss. My life has shifted so much I don’t think I am even in the time zone. The ripples of his death will keep moving as long as someone reads this blog about our loss.
“No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away . . , ” – Terry Pratchett
Out of every great tragedy there comes the hidden blessings. One of the blessings I received after my nephews murder was someone who was able to take the grief and loss that I felt, and turn it into something beautiful and full of hope. I wrote a poem purging myself of the intense waves of grief. Writing is how I make sense of the senseless, it is how I can remain sane, when the crazy is calling my name. So when my nephew was murdered, I wrote a poem about what I was going through.
“Writing is like breathing, it’s possible to learn to do it well, but the point is to do it no matter what” – Julia Cameron
I encourage anyone going through difficult times to write it out. I think that it releases the poison, that would corrupt our souls. In pain, we hold our breath. Writing helps us to start breathing again. To realize that we can still have a chance for a better and happier life.
“When we focus our energy towards constructing a passionate meaningful life, we are tossing a pebble into the world, creating a beautiful ripple effect of inspiration. When one person follows a dream, tries something new or takes a daring leap, everyone nearby feels that energy and before too long they are making their own daring leaps and inspiring yet another circle” – Christine Mason Miller
I will print my poem at the end of this. While I was able to process my way through the grief, it still felt a little dark. The gift that this stranger was able to give me, was taking this poem and my story, and creating this beautiful song from it. It took away the darkness in my poem, and transmuted it into light.
I reached for this poem when someone else I love is having their own dark night of the soul. We all need to remember that even though there are dark nights, they can be transmuted into something beautiful.
“Only in the darkness, can you see the stars” – Martin Luther King Jr.
I think that we all have those days, when the sky turns black, with no sunlight or starlight to shine upon us. We think that God has turned his back on us. We feel the intense emotions that threaten to drown us. As I say in my poem, sometimes the sorrow burns us alive.
“Some days our grief appears as small manageable ripples. Other days it completely crashes over us without any warning. These are the days you need to be able to sit, reflect and remember; and not feel guilty in doing so” – Just Over The Rainbow Bridge
Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing that we can accomplish in a day, is to simply breathe. Breathing in the love, turns the storm into a calmer sea. The sun rises again. As the poem ends, we can breathe again. We can breathe in the love, grace, forgiveness, joy and hope and manifest it back into the world.
I hope you enjoy the song. We had it created especially for LemonadeMakers.
“We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will” – Chuck Palahniuk
Yesterday you were so alive riding the oceans waves, yes, life was so simple and innocent
But now your soul has left behind your flesh, and your bones lie there just an empty cage
Help me, I can’t breathe as this news fractures my life, I am so unsafe, I just can’t balance
And grief engulfs me, and anger rages, and I just can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe from hearing the news on T.V or reading the printed pages of your murder
I feel the thunderous storm of emotions pass through me as lightening strikes my heart
The senselessness of your passing, the gunshots of a stranger who tore our lives asunder
And so I grieve, and the sorrow burns as it drowns me, and I can’t breathe.
The hours pass into days as I stumble down this long road breathing with heavy sighs
The days spent in crying, and the primal screams of the dark nights merge into numbing weeks
Yet storm clouds break up as I begin to see the healing of the rainbows blessings
And so I grieve and I begin to breathe, I breathe love.
Life carries on with unending support of love that is surrounding me and protecting me
Forgiveness is the answer, so I move past the limitations of grief, rage, and sorrow
To live in limitless love, light and joy, and my heart-lines align to the universal love
And so I breathe love, and I add grace, I breathe, I breathe grace.
Love from Carl’s heart washes through me, cleansing and healing every part of my body
A warm wave it ignites an inner fire of transformation that love is the ultimate expression of grace
It illuminates the greater vision for my life to emerge from within me, a graceful unfolding,
And so I breathe love and grace, and I add forgiveness, I breathe, I breathe forgiveness.
I release the need to blame you Carl, myself, or anyone else for your ending,
I release fears grip on my soul, and I choose to walk this path with love
I have experienced a grace inspired event that challenged me and I have awakened
And so I breathe love, grace, forgiveness, and I add joy, I breathe, I breathe joy.
Grace has opened a door whose light illuminates my next step as I step out of the darkness
I share this, your gift to the world, that love is the ultimate expression of grace
As I practice this belief, practice will yield to insight, which yields to reimbodiment, which yields to manifestation.
And so I breathe love, grace, forgiveness, joy, and I add hope, I breathe, I breathe hope.
As I breathe love, grace, forgiveness, joy and hope, life becomes a celebration again
And as I let my light shine, I unconsciously give others the permission to do the same
I will live like there is no tomorrow, I will live like there was no yesterday
I will breathe, I will breathe love, grace, forgiveness, joy and hope and manifest it out into the world.
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