What is the difference between leaving something that doesn’t serve you and running away? I think it is several things. The realization that there is nothing that you can do to change the situation. You can only change yourself, and if the situation doesn’t change when you do, then it is time to ask yourself “why am I still here?”
Years ago I had interviewed for a new job and was hired. The first hour of my first day at the new job, I knew that I had made a mistake. The owner of the company had a lot of issues with anger and how he treated his employees. He wasn’t the person that I had interviewed with, and when I interviewed he wasn’t in the office. If he had been, I would not have accepted the position. As an example, when he would walk through the office, he would pull out the fax machine paper trays and if the paper wasn’t completely full, he would start yelling and swearing at the receptionist – even if she had filled them up just five minutes before.
The Saturday of my first week there, I had come in the office to set up my desk with the various underwriting guidelines they used for several companies. While I was there, the owner of the company came in and we started talking. I had already worked for an owner like him, and I had sworn I would never allow someone to treat me like that again. So I told him very clearly that the first time he yelled and swore at me, like I had seen him do with others, would be the day I quit.
Now I needed that job to support my family. But I had made a promise to myself to never let anyone demean me again. It took a tremendous amount of courage to go and grab that box. I was determined to be true to my word to myself. I chose to love myself, over fear of losing the job and income needed to support my family.
If you’re brave to say “good bye”. life will reward you with a new “hello”. He also said, “You are what you believe yourself to be.
The only way to discover what you are truly capable of, is to take leaps of faith across the chasms and up into the heights of trees. It is what is necessary to push out the boundaries of your comfort zone, or to decrease the size of your tolerance zone, as the case may be.
Transformation gives you the chance to rewrite the story of who you are and who you are capable of being. There are many things in our life that we give negative meanings to. But what if you gave pain the definition that it shows you that which is not right for you? This would be a positive thing to know – what doesn’t belong to me or my life. It is hard to leave something or someone behind you, to let them or it go. It is hard until you decide to do it. Then it becomes easy. It isn’t the leaving that is hard, it is the decision.
Envy is another word that has a bad rap. What if envy simply shows you things which you may wish to empower in your own life? That would be a great thing to know – things I want in my life and can empower myself to obtain. In our lives we have the habit of settling. We settle with that 10 lbs of weight that we can’t seem to lose. We settle with our job, thinking what we have is better than nothing. We settle, settle, settle, because the reality is that we don’t know what we really, really want.
I am always stuck. I am always stuck between giving people everything because I am dying to create meaningful relationships, and giving them nothing at all because then if they leave, at least I’ll be left whole.
– (via yoymenoyhoy)
Your life is yours to live, no matter how you choose to live it. When you do not think about how you intend to live it, it lives you. When you occupy it, step into it consciously, you live it.
– Gary Zukav
Take a moment to think about this past week in your life. How many things are habitual that you do? How much of your life is lived on autopilot? You get up in the morning, shower, brush your teeth, . . . daily habits that we don’t think about if we should do or not do. Now think about how much of your life you actually thought about living? Did you do anything new? Did you plan out a trip to somewhere you’ve never been? Did you drive down a different street going to or from work that you’ve never been down before? Did you do anything different than the previous week, month or ever year? How much of your life is lived consciously? Can you say like Alice in Wonderland, “I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed quite a few times since then?”
There is a saying that we have two ears and one mouth, because we are supposed to listen twice as much as we speak. I think that this ability to listen also applies to listening to our inner voice. I know that this is something that I constantly practice.
Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn’t lie.
Do you ever have that nagging feeling as you are walking out the door to go to work or run errands? That feeling that you are forgetting something, but can’t think of what it might be? Do you run down your mental checklist and don’t see anything that you have forgotten? Then later, something happens and you realize what it was you forgot? Happens to me all the time. That is the inner voice talking, but not being listened to.
The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become.
– Gisele Bundchen
It is the same voice that tells you stay away from that person – you know the one that makes your skin crawl? It is like a radar warning you away from danger or from a bad relationship. Have you ever pushed that voice down saying, “there is nothing wrong with this person” to yourself, only to regret later not listening to it?
The intuitive minds is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
– Albert Einstein
When I worked for a major bank in San Diego years ago I had that feeling about a new hire. I was a mortgage loan supervisor at the time, and every new loan would come across my desk and I would assign the set up clerk and loan processor for the file. This new hire literally made my skin crawl. I told the branch manager that there was something majorly wrong with this guy, but he passed the background check, so that was all he cared about. So I went through each new loan submission this guy turned in and rejected almost all of them as having something wrong with the documentation (translate loan fraud).
Our office was on the 15th floor facing the freeway. There was a side road that ran along the freeway and one afternoon everyone was at the windows watching something going on down below. When I went to see what was going on, this loan officers Porsche was alongside the chain link fence next to the freeway and it was on fire. The fire department was there and as they were shooting water at the car, I could see these funny sparks shooting out around the vehicle. Pretty soon I saw the police arrive and they handcuffed the loan officer and put him in the back of the police car.
Turns out he had several hand guns and rifles in the trunk of the car along with ammunition. It was live ammunition going off that was creating the sparks. It was a few days before he came back to work, and he was fired. I never let my branch manager forget that I had told him that there was something wrong with that guy. Sometimes we just know intuitively when something isn’t right.
Problems are the gifts that make us dig out and figure out who we are, what we’re made for, and what we’re responsible to give back to life.
– Tony Robbins
This inner voice is the key to having a life of transformation that doesn’t throw us into “dark night of the soul” transformations. When we listen to this voice, reflect on what it is trying to tell us we can save ourselves a lot of trouble. I love Tony Robbins quote because it puts a slightly different spin on knowing ourselves. We need to understand our place in this world, in order to figure out what we are responsible to do with our life. The biggest changes we have made in our life usually come out of the biggest challenges. It shows us who we really are when we pull back the curtains and stop pretending to be the “All Powerful Wizard”. It shows us how to pay it forward and do good with our life.
Knowing yourself means being able to separate the true from the false in yourself – love from emotion, joy from sentiment, will from desire.
– Barry Long
I am sure that most of us have heard of the saying, take 10 deep breaths, then talk. It is critical that we pause before reacting. What is so important about taking the deep breaths, is that it helps us step out of the whirlpool of emotions that we are drowning in. We can step back and see from a less emotional viewpoint what really needs to be said, or done at that moment. It allows us to reconnect the heart and mind, so that we can make good decisions instead of emotional ones.
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.
When I was growing up, there was a lot of yelling and fighting between my parents. It was one of the things that I used to say, “I won’t be this kind of parent when I grow up.” When my kids would do something that made me mad, the house rule was they had to go to their room. When I was done being mad, and able to have a conscious conversation about their behavior then I would go to their room and we would have a talk about what had happened.
When you know yourself you are empowered. When you accept yourself you are invincible.
– Tina Lifford
I think that the hardest part of this quote is not the knowing oneself, it is the accepting part of it. It is also the most critical part. I don’t know about you, but if you are like me at all, it is hard to acknowledge the parts of me that I don’t want others to know about. Like if I hide it from myself, no one else can see it either – reminds me of the fairy tale of “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. LOL
Have you ever felt like you have a recurring theme in your life? Something that keeps showing up over and over again?
All of us have gold hidden within, but we have to dig to get it out.
– Joyce Meyer
When I was 4 years old I went through a trauma that said it wasn’t safe to be seen or heard. I then spent most of my adult life trying to figure out why I always seemed to have one foot on the gas, and one foot on the brake. Most of us experienced something in our early childhood, from conception through the 8th year or so, that became an unconscious program running in the background of our decision making process.
Scars are just a treasure map for pain you’ve buried too deep to remember.
– Jodi Picoult
I went for professional help because I had buried the memory, and could remember nothing of my childhood until my first day of school. Once I uncovered the memory, I could see how this one experience had impacted my entire life. I had become stuck in my own life, and it was like the car stuck in the mud. The wheels were spinning, but all that was happening was that I was throwing dirt all over the place. Now that I could see how the car was stuck in the mud, I could use tools to get back onto the dry road, and get moving on my own journey of personal transformation.
The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.
– Neil Gaiman
We all have these buried treasures that we were gifted with to share with the world. At some point in our life, someone or something happened that convinced us they were worthless pieces of trash. So feeling guilty, embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid, we buried them deep inside of ourselves. Piece by piece, they must be dug up, polished up, and shared. It is these treasures which will shift the world to a better place for all of us. I write to share my treasures with everyone. I am working very hard to help the nonprofits be able to share their treasures with the world. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book “Big Magic” called this “strange jewels” which are buried within us, waiting to be uncovered.
You have extraordinary treasures hidden within you. Bringing forth those treasures takes work and faith and focus and courage and hours of devotion.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
Most of us spend our lives looking outside of ourselves for fulfillment. If we are the perfect child, the perfect student, the perfect spouse or parent, or the perfect employee, then we will be fulfilled. Nothing outside of ourselves can really provide long lasting validation, security or love. We can get temporary fixes which fail, and then we are on our way to the next partner, or job. Or we condemn ourselves as failures and stop seeking any kind of love, security or fulfillment.
Sometimes we spend our whole lives running away from ourselves and the pain that lives within us. We bury it down deep and convince ourselves that it too much to bear. But in that pain is great treasure. There is beauty in the depths of our souls, where we have hidden our gifts. The great religious leaders recognize the truth of this.
We are all jars of clay, fragile and poor, yet we carry within us an immense treasure.
– Pope Francis
Every moment of our life is wrapped up in change. Every truth of today, will not necessarily be the truth tomorrow. New discoveries in science, uncover and shifts the foundations of what we know. Technology is constantly changing all aspects of our life. In the same way, as we dig and uncover what lies deep within ourselves, we reach new truths about ourselves. We become more conscious, more awake. The Founder of Agape International Spiritual Center, Michael Beckwith took it a step further in reflecting that these divine gifts and priceless treasures were given to us to help shift not just our own consciousness, but the consciousness of the world.
We are on the planet to …, wrap our consciousness around the divine treasure within us.
– Michael Beckwith
We all have these treasure maps inside of us, which lead us to the divine treasure of love. Love of Self, Love of God and Family, Love of the World. We are all diamonds in the rough, and the journey through this divine love reveals the beauty of the diamond within us.
In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be.
– The Dreamer
We are all born dreamers. All you have to do is watch any small child. You can see their dreams, their imaginations running wild. They create whole worlds with blankets and pillows, some Legos and Hot Wheels, Dinosaurs and some plastic green Army Men. Whatever they can get their hands on. If you give them a few tools they will cut and saw out some boards and hammer together a space ship, then put on their capes to go out to save the world from alien invaders. But the horrible thing that happens to some of us, is that we let go of our dreams. We become realists and make our possibilities into a small safe comfort zones.
There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
– Robert Orben
We need to destroy our comfort zones and remember that we are dreamers and we have unlimited potential. Your dreams were designed to custom fit your personality. If we let them, they will continue grow and expand as we do. They will follow us all of our days, growing greater and grander as we do. When Walt Disney was laying in the hospital dying, he had his newest dreams taped up on the ceiling so that he could look up at them and continue to plan their realities. As long as you continue to learn, to grow and expand, so will your dreams. Dreams are our future realities, waiting in the wings to come out on the stage of life.
The dreamers of the day are dangerous people. For they dream their dreams with wide open eyes, and make them come true.
– D.H. Lawrence
I am always amazed when I read an old science fiction book or look at some of the drawings of someone like Leonardo Da Vinci. He created on paper the bicycle, the helicopter, and an airplane. What powerful dreamers they were. At the time, they were writing about a future they could only see in their minds eye. They made up inventions that had us deep within the oceans, that had us exploring the galaxy, that had us beaming a person from the land mass of a planet, up through space and into the interior of a space ship.
Great dreams of great dreamers are always transcended.
– A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
Over time, inventors have been catching those concepts or thoughts, and they have been bringing them into reality. They invented deep sea diving suits, and submarines and special mini subs that could go even deeper. We have the ability to see the ocean floor from satellites deep in space. They took us to the moon and back. Now we go back and forth on a regular basis to a space station. I saw a news piece about how someone is building personal small helicopters that will fly themselves and be used in the near future to take us to work. While this isn’t the flying car that turns into a brief case we saw on the George Jetson cartoons, it is getting closer to a reality.
All successful people, men and women, are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision.
– Brian Tracy
When you are a dreamer that puts action steps into your dreams, you discover a number of things. You discover what hard work really looks and feels like. You discover the real cost of sacrificing everything to make the dream into reality, and you discover that the price isn’t as large as fear told you it would be. You discover that every time you fall down, every time it doesn’t work out like you thought it would, that every single failure, is just a way to show you a new viewpoint into what you are bringing into the worlds reality. You discover that failures are just stepping stones to greatness.
Do not let the fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists . . it is real . . . it is possible . . . it’s yours.
– Ayn Rand
Every night you tossed and turned trying to figure out the right way, and all of the struggles you have or will go through, are in the end are the price tag of the ever expanding new you. Each and every price tag that you pay for .. . every single failure, is what is leading you to the mastery of the idea, and the fulfillment of the concept. The steps of the completion of the dream, becomes a part of the never ending journey to which we all sign up for. You gain a true understanding of the words, “it is not the destination that matters, but who we are becoming along the way”.
Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
– Oscar Wilde
Sometimes you just need an adventure to cleanse the bitter taste of life from your soul
One of the processes many of us go through at the end of the year is to go through the year that is passing. We look at our highlights, both good and bad. The successes we celebrate and the failures we sift through for the good pieces hidden in the ashes. I think that one of the things to plan for the new year is an adventure. It could be as simple as a hike up into the mountains where we can just sit in the silence and commune with our soul. Or it could be that we take a trip to somewhere we have never been.
It could be within driving distance of where we live or we could travel to a foreign country. What it needs to be is an experience that is something totally out of our comfort zone. Doing this gives us a new perspective in our life. It shifts our viewpoints and sometimes it changes our life in unforeseen ways.
The secret of making dreams come true can be summarized in four C’s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy; and the greatest of these is confidence
– Walt Disney
When we take the time at the end of the year or the beginning of the new year to look at our life, we need to be gentle with ourselves. Going deep within using Disney’s four C’s will unlock things in our heart, soul and mind that we didn’t know where there. In talking to my life/business coaches a thought floated to the surface around money. Years ago, when I would be in a discussion around money with my husband, I would say I wanted to have something physical to show in my hands for the money that I spendt. I haven’t said this for years, but it brought to the surface a belief about money that was hidden within me that needs to be released. When you approach these hidden beliefs without judgement, but instead curiosity it becomes so easy to let them go.
To breathe your own truth is your heart’s most burning desire. To live your purpose is your soul’s lifelong dream.
Don’t be at war with yourself when you look at the blocks that you have. We all have some beliefs, which block the path to our soul’s dream. Instead gets curious. Give your basic life tools the chance to work, by working with them. Meditation, journaling, routines to take care of your health, living in gratitude for what each day has brought to you. Instead of challenges, you believe that you have opportunities for growth.
Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.
– Dr. Steve Maraboli
Taking down the walls you have been building your whole life to expose yourself as you really are. True freedom doesn’t have limits to who you can be. Taking up the practice of something new to grow your soul is completely dependent on your realizing it doesn’t matter that you do it well or badly. Just that you do in fact do it. You are the one who decides that an experience or change in your life is personal growth, or that it creates personal fears. Get curious and give yourself the love that you give so freely to others. Be a soothing balm to your soul.
Don’t be beautiful. They keep saying that beautiful is something a girl needs to be. But honestly? Forget that. Don’t be beautiful. Be angry, be intelligent, be witty, be klutzy, be interesting, be funny, be adventurous, be crazy, be talented – there are an eternity of things to be other than beautiful. And what is beauty anyway but a set of letters strung together to make a word? Be your own definition of amazing, always. That is so much more important than anything beautiful, ever.
– Nikita Gill
Audrey Hepburn to me is what this quote is talking about. She grew up in Belgium and was involved in fighting against the Nazi’s. She was a professional dancer and began acting just to help support her mom. At the time she wasn’t considered a beauty. Her body wasn’t the right shape, her eyebrows too bushy. But she lived her life as she wanted and because she wasn’t afraid to be who she was, she became an icon.. She won a Tony, an Oscar and Grammy and is one of only 12 people to win all three. She insisted that Hubert de Givenchy design all of her clothes for the movies she was in. She later stepped away from Hollywood and concentrated on he work as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF. I love her quote, “I’m Possible” for impossible as well as several others. She was an eternity of things, including beautiful and to me a wonderful example of living her life on her own terms.
In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be.
– The Dreamer
When you were this girls age, you had dreams about who you wanted to be when you grew up. You may already have been singing, or dancing, or wanting to be a doctor or lawyer. Between this age and actually growing up most of us have our dreams dashed in some way. It may be that someone teases us that we can’t carry a tune, or we are doing the dance wrong. Or maybe they tell us that we should choose a less challenging career than a doctor or lawyer, because we really aren’t that smart. Or it could be more subtle where we are being directed by our parents into the career that they want for us.
Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
Along the way we also learn to hide who we are. We learn that others judge us, so we put on masks to conform to who they want us to dress like, look like, act like. We hide our dreams so that no one can destroy them any further. We learn not to trust our hearts to be in others hands. We give up on what is possible and settle for what is conforming to the needs of others. We forget who we are and what we are here for. We no longer take part in the dance of life, but settle back against the wall and watch those with more courage or talent dance it in front of us.
Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.
There is only one way to truly know who you are deep down inside. You have to get in touch with your own soul. You need to be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and just listen. Looking back at your life, find the places where you were really happy. Find the things that are so easy for you to do, that others find hard or impossible. Trace back all of the threads that have your name engraved upon them. Start picking out and removing all of the threads that are not you. Look for the gold and silver pieces and toss out the dross. Now look for the patterns that are left. The amazing thing is that it usually takes you back to this age. The age when you acted out who you really were, before society broke you like a young colt and told you who to be. The threads of genius that are all you, can now be taken up and made into whatever pattern you want. It is never too late to be who you were meant to be.
To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.
– Deepak Chopra
Sometimes when you make this journey deep into our soul, we discover that our lives have to be completely shaking up. We are covered in dust and debris that needs to be removed. We need to rearrange almost everything. Change almost everything. We need to go to the place we are supposed to be. A close friend of mine relocated from Los Angels to Italy and she loves it. The best thing to do is to remove what doesn’t belong and then figure out how to rearrange what does. It is an individual journey that defines who we are in a totally new way. We discover our truth by looking for it down deep within and then integrating it into our life. We are on a life adventure. This journey is for you alone. Embrace it and life it fully.
The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated. It isn’t true that everyone should follow one path. Listen to your own truth.
– Ram Dass
There are some that will say that living your life purpose, is being selfish. That we are ignoring the wishes of others. But actually the reverse is true. Each one of us was given as part of our life journey a divine destiny. We were born into the place and the family that would give us the tools to accomplish this purpose. Some of those life lessons come through adversity, some come as part of the journey of rediscovering who we are really meant to be. But if we don’t take the risks, make the changes and transform our lives, then our destiny will not be fulfilled. And we will not be living the life that God sent us here to live. So it is actually selfish to not live up to our full potential. To not find out who we are supposed to be. To not utilize our power to its full capability. To not live out loud and up front our God given destiny.
. . . it’s a life’s journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else . . .
– Mariska Hargitay
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions
– Dalai Lama
Most of us as adults would look at all the clean laundry on this bed and sigh, thinking that it all needed to be folded or hung up and put away. But my two grandsons didn’t see a pile of work to do, they saw fun. The smiles on their faces make my heart burst with joy. Can you remember being this age and thinking that everything in and around your house was just waiting for you to figure out a way to have fun with it? As adults we need to get back that lens of seeing things as something ready made to make us happy.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do, are in harmony
– Mahatma Gandhi
One of the things that I love about watching small children, is their ability to just be themselves. They aren’t hiding who they are behind a mask, no fake smiles, no hidden agenda’s. If something does happen that makes them sad or mad, their emotions flow straight through them. The don’t pout in the corner waiting for someone to coax them back into a good mood. They have their moments when a tantrum hits them, then they immediately get distracted and two minutes later they are on the bed rolling in clean clothes and laughing about nothing.
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry, with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously,
– Og Mandino
They don’t have baggage that they carry around with them, that slows down their emotions. They don’t find themselves trapped in an endless loop of replaying a bad experience over and over again. They don’t let their emotions send them into an endless spiral of judgment and negativity. They don’t spend their days getting triggered by something unimportant. They don’t let a single thing cause them to spend the rest of the day in a bad mood.
The best thing that you can do to this world is to be joyous. Being joyful, is the greatest offering you can make to the world
– Jaggi Vasadev
Have you ever been in a terrific mood, driving down the freeway as you go to work? Then someone cuts you off. You might mutter under your breath. Or maybe you yell at the driver shaking you head or hands. Or maybe you drive right up on their bumper to let them know how angry you are. A few weeks ago two drivers were going down the freeway, and I don’t know what started the argument, but they were taking turns cutting each other off, then they pulled their cars over and one man got out with a baseball bat. Fortunately, there was a highway patrol behind them and he was able to stop it from escalating even further. Why do we let someone else’s actions destroy our good mood? Why do we feel the need to somehow get back at them for their either unthinking or aggressive driving habits?
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.
It isn’t easy to let things go as fast as they happen to us. But if we remember these two rascals and a load of clothes just out of the dryer, maybe, just maybe, we can be like children. Feel the emotion, and let it flow out of us. Take back our self respect and don’t allow anyone to push down the rabbit hole of negative emotions. Just walk away. Just because someone invites us to argue and fight, doesn’t mean we have to accept the invitation. Self Awareness allows us the space to check in within us and choose happiness. To chose not to worry. To chose the “easy button” in all aspects of living our life in joy and happiness.
Life does not require you to sacrifice or compromise your joy to get what you want. Joy is what you want, so when you choose in harmony with it, you are fulfilling your life purpose.
– Alan Cohen
When we choose to live our life from the place of gratitude it helps us to shift our energy to bring in more of what we want in our life. As we walk down our chosen path, the journey of life brings us many things. Not all of them are meant to stay. Everything in our life currently is serving some sort of purpose. Part of the journey is figuring out why it is in our life. What it is supposed to be teaching us, and once we know and implement that knowledge, then it is time to let it go. What an interesting thing it is to recognize that in every moment we have choices laid before us. We can choose anger and frustration, or we can let the negative emotion roll in a wave over us and past us to the shore and then watch as it takes all of the negativity back out to sea.
We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
– Carol Castenada
Sometimes happiness is a feeling. Sometimes it’s a decision. Don’t let stupid things break your happiness. If you really look at life, while we all have tragedy happen in our life, most of our unhappiness from day to day is our being triggered by something stupid.
If you want to, you could find a million reasons to hate life and be angry at the world, or, if you want, you could find a million reasons to love life and be happy. Choose wisely.
– Cari Welsh
There is an inner beauty about a girl who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a girl who follows her own path, who isn’t thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is an inner beauty about a girl whose confidence comes from experiences, who knows she can fall, pick herself up and move on – Unknown
I love the last line. When we step outside of our comfort zone, when we take a leap of faith, there are times we fall down. It is part of the process. When a baby starts crawling, then climbing up and walking along the furniture, they display the perfect attitude. They take a step or two, with wobbly legs and almost no balance. They fall on their butts. They may cry. But the next thing you know they are back to trying to take another step.
We tell them “come to moma” and they get the biggest grins on their faces, so excited. They take a wobbly step after wobbly step into the moms arms. This is what walking outside the comfort zone is about. Taking a first step and another, wobbling along the way. Crashing and burning and getting back up until we can walk with perfect balance and ease.
She was unstoppable. not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she continued on despite them – Unknown
No matter how many defeats we encounter, we can recover. We are resilient and we don’t “cry uncle”, we figure out another way around the obstacle and continue on. Along our life journey we can expect that there will be times when we become lost to our purpose and passion in life. We may encounter some sort of addiction problem; we may go through the loss of a spouse or child that sends us off the deep end; we may have severe health issues that make us wonder if we want to continue living; we may encounter mental health issues. What we need to understand is that there isn’t any mistake or issue in our life that we can’t rise up out of.
Strong Woman – you may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it – Maya Angelou
Recovery from anything goes through a process. Good days, bad days. You will sometimes feel all alone and maybe even abandoned by others. The flip side of that feeling is that you are now empowered to help others who are struggling. Your friends and family may not understand what you are going through. Instead of bottling up your struggle or judging them as insensitive, you have the opportunity to try to explain in a million different ways. Sometimes if they haven’t walked in your shoes, it is like trying to explain the fax machine to a two year old. You can explain how it works a million different ways, but they won’t understand. So that has to be ok. Sometimes we just have to accept, “it is what it is” and move onward.
Whenever we begin to feel as if we can no longer go on, hope whispers in our ear to remind us that we are strong – Robert M Hensel
Your problems won’t magically go away, but as you recover they will become more and more manageable. The days of overwhelm will get fewer. As you go through the process of recovery, you will change in many small and large ways. It is hard to see the changes yourself. It is like when you have a 12 month old who is learning how to walk, run, and talk. They are growing like crazy, but we don’t really notice until nothing they have fits. But if you were to go on a trip for two weeks and come back to that toddler, you would immediately see all of the changes in growth and things that they are doing. Others notice the changes faster than we do, because they have the space away from us.
Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion – Unknown
The important thing to remember when we are going through any kind of recovery, is the end result that we are working towards. What we are fighting for. Working out everyday at the gym results in our becoming happier, healthier, stronger, as step by step we are recovering. There may be times in the fight where we miss guarding ourselves and get punched. We may fall to the ground, breathing heavy, wondering if we can get back up. What we have to remember is that as long as we get back up, keep fighting for our wholeness, we have not lost.
Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted. – Unknown
Take the time to breathe. It seems simple, but have you ever we taken a yoga class and been reminded that you are holding your breath and you need to breathe? Or maybe doing something on a machine in the gym and the instructor is reminding you to breathe? There are times were we seem to hold our breath, because something is somewhat painful. There are times when are so excited or angry that we forget to breathe. The proverb of taking 10 deep breaths before speaking or acting comes into play here. When we take really deep full belly breaths it somehow seems to disconnect us from our runaway emotions and allows our brain to reconnect and begin to direct our thoughts.
We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same – Carlos Castenada
If we take those 10 deep full belly breaths right now, you will see what I mean. It will allow you to see some patterns, some logical reasoning comes back into your space and you can see how although the recovery was painful, it does have some wonderful jewels buried right alongside of you. There are some positive things that you have learned about yourself on this journey. Today is the best day to celebrate with gratitude those gifts. Believe in yourself again. Love those around you and most importantly love yourself. Live, Laugh, Love and celebrate life again.
It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it.
So how do you work with your mind to change your story? You acknowledge that you are where you are in your story because of how you did, or did not use your power. You realize that while you can’t control every challenge that happens in your life, you can control your response to it. That is where your power to control your story originates – how you respond.
Allowing people inside your life is a beautiful thing. Letting go of people who drain your spirit is another beautiful thing you can do for your life. The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.
First step is to silence the mind. The subconscious mind is so busy trying to distract us from our real story. It wants us to get lost in the stories of who our parents said we were. Of who our friends and relatives expect us to be. But our true story is waiting in our hearts to be re-discovered. To be released from the cage that we put it in when we were small children.
Meditation is a great way to learn to silence the mind. Visualization is another great way to give the mind something structured to do, so that it will let our heart and soul communicate with us. For me, my heart and soul communicates best in my dreams. Many of my poems and best blog posts come from ideas in my dreams.
The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.
Second step is to let go of trying to control things that you have no control over. To let go of what you can’t change. Which usually means that we are trying to control the behavior of someone else. Or control things over which we have no power in the first place.
In our life story we sometimes have to climb a high mountain pass. We are supposed to travel up over the pass and back down the other side. As we follow our road over the mountain, we may find the road has been washed out. We might find the road has had a rock or mud slide. Maybe a bridge is out, or there is a raging forest fire. We might have to detour around whatever the roadblock is. That doesn’t mean that we drag all of those rocks, mud, broken bridges or burning bushes with us, as we go down the other side of the mountain. We leave that roadblock on the road. It is not our business to fix the road. It is not our burden to control the journey and demand that the road be repaired before we continue across the mountain. Our business is to simply travel to our destination by any means possible. It is in the traveling that we learn, change, adapt and transform.
One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.
Third step is to really, truly, believe from the bottom of your soul, that you are unique, no one in the entire universe is like you, and that is how it is supposed to be. Stop trying to fit in a mold. Stop trying to be Martha Stewart in the home, and Oprah at work, and Marilyn Monroe in the bedroom, all rolled up into one amazing super woman. Don’t try to make yourself live out someone else’s story. Live your own.
You weren’t made to replicate, obey or stand in the shadow of another person. You were made to stand in your own power and find the truth in your soul..
Fourth Step is to realize that while we all need a helping hand once in a while, nothing will destroy our power to live our own story faster than having the habit of depending on others. Just like a tree that grows in the forest, we must grow deep roots to support our upward growth. If we start leaning on the trees that we are planted by, when the storm comes into our life our roots will not support us and we will crash to the ground. The unfortunate thing about our crash is how we damage those next to us as we fall. We must learn to stand up alone and be an original.
Nothing else so destroys the power to stand alone as the habit of leaning upon others. If you lean, you will never be strong or original. Stand alone or bury your ambition to be somebody in the world.
– Orison Swett Marden
Fifth Step has to do with your relationship with yourself. Really understanding what real self love and self trust is all about. Not having these vital areas in balance in your life is what leads to most of our broken, damaged relationships – with friends, with family, with our spouse, with our co-workers at our job, It enters into how people treat us, how we communicate our needs, wants and desires, and how we are perceived in the world.
The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
– Jane Travis
Sixth Step is your relationship to others and the world. You can’t make everyone happy and it isn’t your job to do so. There are always going to be people who say that you are “not enough” – not good enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough . . . and so on. Those judgments are on them. They want to feel better by having their own problems being pushed off on to you. It is not your job to judge them back. To think that you have to show others what kind of “bad” people they are. Their true colors will come out without your help or assistance. Don’t blame others for your life, and don’t accept the blame for how they are living their own life.
Give. But don’t allow yourself to be used.
Love. But don’t allow your heart to be abused.
Trust. but don’t be naïve.
Listen. But don’t lose your own voice.
– thisislovelifequotes. net
There are more steps, breadcrumbs that you find along your journey. It all begins with a simple decision. Is this DAY ONE, or is this ONE DAY? You decide. What’s your story?
You tell me to quiet down cause my opinions make me less beautiful. But I was not made with a fire in my belly so I could be put out. I was not made with a lightness in my tongue so I could be easy to swallow. I was made heavy – half blade and half silk. Difficult to forget but not easy for the mind to follow.
– Rupi Kaur
Life gives us a lot of experiences. They run the whole emotional scale. We fall from ecstatic joy to pain that leaves us whimpering in the corner, wishing that death would come and take us away from it. Life gives us the experience of Heaven, Hell and every realm between. Like clay we are formed and molded by our life experiences. Like clay we go through the fire. But we have a choice about what that fire does to us. We can choose to become rigid, brittle and defined by those fires, so that everyone we meet hears about our horrific life. Or, we can choose to become refined by the fire, tempered by it and made stronger.
Some women fear the fire, some women simply become it . . .
– r.h. sin
Why would we fear the fire? Because when we are refined by the fire, it exposes us. We see the ugly parts of us, and we have to acknowledge that they are part of us. We can’t deny it, we can’t make it be less than it is, we can’t say it doesn’t exist, and that somehow that ugly bit of us is actually someone else’s fault. We can’t say I lost my temper and it was that persons fault or that they deserved us to go nuclear on them. The fire shines the light on us, and if we stand up in that light and acknowledge who we are, then we have the opportunity to transform it. We can release the negativity and shift it and change it into something better.
She wasn’t looking for a knight, she was looking for a sword.
We all have this mix of fairy tale dreams where we want someone to take care of us, and yet at the same time we fiercely do not want someone to fix us. We are not looking to be fixed. We are not broken and damaged and needing to be rescued. That is judging our experience when you don’t know our whole story. That is making assumptions of what our dreams are made up of. That is not understanding what our destiny is preparing us for. We don’t need a hero, we are one. What we need is a sword to cut out of us all of the parts that do not serve us, and do not belong as part of us.
Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.
– Stephanie Bennett Henry
Promise yourself that you can and will do better. Hold yourself to not looking back. Learn from the past but don’t live there. Leave the baggage at the airport and travel lightly through life. Anything that shattered you wasn’t meant for you. We have this habit sometimes of holding on to something that doesn’t serve us. We stay in the job, where we are experiencing bullying, where we are put down because we believe in some way it is true. We stay in a relationship that burns our soul, sacrificing ourselves because they say they love us even when their actions tell us it is a lie. Don’t continue to dance on the broken glass, thinking that we can somehow fix it. It will just slice our souls and shred our spirits.
You can’t let other people tell you who you are. You have to decide that for yourself.
At some point we have to change the situation. Instead of being battered by the storm, we have to become the storm. In order to thrive we have to become fearless in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. We have to put on our life jacket and abandon the sinking ship, with the knowledge that we will be okay. It might not be today or tomorrow, but the storm will always play itself out. The sun will shine again. You are valuable, you are a Goddess and you must firmly believe that with all of your heart and soul.
Her soul is fierce
her heart is brave
her mind is strong.
– r.h. Sin
She was powerful, not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.
This kind of power comes from the place of not needing anyone to validate who we are. To get to that space, we have gone through the refining fires. We have exposed our vulnerable places, our ugly thoughts and actions. We have brought the light to all of the dark corners of our heart. When you have faced who you really are without the masks, without the excuses and justifications, fear gets burnt out of us. Fear is a choice, and we can choose not to live at its address any longer.
We need women who are so strong they can be gentle. so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational and so disciplined they can be free
– Kavita Ramdas
When we accept who we are, we lose false pride. When we own “this is who I am” fear loses its grip on us. We are ready. We are willing. It is time to go out and fight for our dreams. We no longer feel that we are obligated to prove our worth to anyone, and if they are demanding that we do so, we just walk away.
Once upon a time you were a little girl with big dreams that you promised you’d make real one day. Don’t disappoint yourself.
The winds scattered my leaves but my roots remained firm. They tried to wound me, but I grew stronger in the broken places. I wondered if I would survive, but then I saw a sparkle . . . My tiara was a little tangled perhaps but it never fell off after all.
– Jane Lee Logan
When we were children we touched dragonflies and reached for the stars. We talked to the moon and danced through the forest with the fairies. We saw wonder and believed in happy endings. What we may not have realized is that the happy ending, was just that moment in time. That there was more to the story. The heroes journey doesn’t end. There are always more challenges, more growth. Change, transformation, life continues ever onward. The end is never really the end.
Love your whole story even if it hasn’t been the perfect fairy tale.
– Melanie Moushigian Kouloruis
In the ups and downs of life, our story goes by the meaning we put to it. How many times have you heard of someone being laid off or fired? They are anxious, panicked, and feel like the world has ended. But at some point, they start their own business, or get hired at a new company and the next thing you hear is how losing that job was the best thing that ever happened. What changed? The meaning they were putting to their own story.
We long for a fairytales in a world full of nightmares.
It really is about the meaning that you give to what is currently happening in your life. We seem to feel that life should be all roses, and forget that the roses also have thorns. Is it a rosebush or a thornbush? Look at the fairy tales themselves. Peter Pan had Captain Hook, pirates and the Crocodile. Snow White had the Evil Queen and her minions. Ariel had her father, the Sea Witch. There are always obstacles, failures, dragons and demons. They help us to grow by overcoming them.
If I’m honest I have to tell you I still read fairy tales and I like them best of all.
– Audrey Hepburn
From the Genie in the bottle, we learned to form our wishes with a lot of thought and detail, because otherwise they will turn on us. We find helpers along the way. We fight through our fears. We become less judgmental and more compassionate as we see how hard life can be. We become better people. The reason why there is a happy ending, is that the characters did not give up.
Love is overcoming obstacles, facing each challenge with integrity. Love is difficult to define and it begins with learning to truly love ourselves. Love is realizing that the world or life, doesn’t just happen to us, it happens because of us. And every single challenge, obstacle, and opportunity that happens is worth it. It is worth it because when you believe in “YOU”, you can make anything happen.
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
– C.S. Lewis
I loved the Lewis Carroll line, “the best gift you could give her was a lifetime of adventures” because it comes back to the meaning that we give to what is happening in our lives. If you look at this as a lifetime of adventures, you can be Princess Lea, or Indiana Jones. If you look at the movies they played in, they had a lot of bad things happen. They lost loved ones, lost homes, failed in epic battles. But they also believed that in the end, good wins. And if your “good” isn’t doing so well right now, then it isn’t the end. You are still in the middle of your adventure. Or maybe you’re at the scene right before the end, where everything is dark and tragic and stacked up against you so high, there is no way you can win. But if you keep moving forward, no matter how hard that step by step is, you are about to get your second wind and turn it all around.
All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
– Walt Disney
We need both courage and imagination to live the life we dream of. I am a huge Princess Bride fan. This reminds me of two scenes in the movie – one is when Wesley is on the bed. He is still not fully recovered from being mostly dead. He can hardly move, and the prince comes in to finish him off. Wesley challenges him “to the pain” and describes in great horrific detail what will happen to him should they fight. The prince ends up giving up without a fight. The whole time Wesley was completely vulnerable, but he didn’t just give up. Using his creative imagination he bluffed his way into victory from a place of complete defeat. The other scene is when Inigo Montoya finds the six fingered man and starts fighting him. At one point it appears that he is going to die and fail to avenge his father. But then he gets that second wind and defeats him. Both stories had that climax when it seemed all was dark and failure was imminent. But they kept going, one using a bluff, and one using the years of training and preparation to win the battle.
I’m a romantic and I kinda believed in this fairy tale. And in some ways I think that’s always been to my advantage, because if you can believe in something great, you can achieve something great.
– Katy Perry
Every night you dream. In your dreams about your life are these seeds of greatness. Your heart and soul speak to you in dreams. They put a little soil around those seeds of greatness. They water them. They weed out of your life the things that don’t belong. They weed out the things that are holding you back. But at the end of the day, it is up to you to take those small plants and put them out into the world to grow into what they are supposed to be. We see it happen all around us everyday. People using their imagination and technology are out there creating products, businesses, services. They are giving back to their community. They are making a difference in the world, by doing what others say can’t be done. Then there are the ones who never transplant their dreams into the world, but hold them tightly in the dark spaces of their souls. They are so afraid of the dream, that they stunt it into a characticture of what it might have been.
A dream is a wish your heart makes.
Remember Mary Poppins – “Anything can happen if you let it.” Just because you lose a shoe at midnight, it doesn’t mean that you walk home barefoot. Maybe it means a new pair of dancing shoes! And who doesn’t want a new pair of shoes?
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