“Missing puzzle pieces do more than complete the puzzle. They fill in an empty space” – Luanne Rice
Have you ever been working on a puzzle for days or weeks and you get to the end and there is one piece missing? How did that make you feel?
Did you move furniture, sweep under cupboards, and generally take the room apart looking for that last piece to complete the picture? Have you ever taken the extreme measure of taking a photo and sending it to the puzzle manufacturer to see if they can send you that missing piece?
If you found the missing piece underneath something, how excited were you to fit it into place? It’s like a state of grace settles over you. Calmness. A feeling that all is right in the world in that moment. The adrenaline settles down, the anxiety or frustration of lost hours of work dissipates.
Sometimes in life you will miss an opportunity. You might not have recognized it, or maybe you were so busy with the chaos of life, that you totally didn’t see it. Then when you do realize it, do you kick yourself over missing it?
Right now, you may feel like you did with the missing puzzle piece that you looked everywhere to find, that you are now an incomplete picture and everything you’ve been doing up until now is just a big waste of time and effort.
What is wonderful about opportunities in real life, is that there is always another new door just waiting to be opened. I love the saying that “opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor” as it signifies how important it is to be looking for them. You can’t find them if you are not looking for them. Looking for opportunities within your dreams or aspirations are the perfect place to find them.
“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes then learn how to do it later” – Unknown
Opportunities are supposed to grow you. If you will only take on what you know 100% for sure you can do, where is the growth?
I always think of cats. Some are a living example of grace. They will stretch themselves out in leaping up a tree or a fence. And whether they make it or land on the ground, they always land on their feet ready to try again. Others are scaredy cats are always hiding, afraid of everything.
So which kind of cat are you? The one taking the leap of faith, confident of landing on your feet? Or are you the one hiding under the bed shaking in terror, letting those scary opportunity pass you by?
“You walk in grace, or you walk in fear. You can’t have it both ways”– Carlos Santana
When you are young, you think that you have all of the time in the world to explore a myriad of opportunities. But this is an illusion. Don’t waste time looking backwards. You aren’t going that way.
Don’t waste time by constantly daydreaming about the future. You haven’t arrived there yet, and when you do so many things will have happened between this moment and that future, that you won’t even recognize you have arrived.
You need to let go of what no longer serves you and live in the present moment, where the opportunities are. You need to live in this present moment in order to make space for what is new to come in. When you are not in resistance, the illusion of time “taking forever” is released.
“To turn inward, to be courageous and trust our heart – to lean into our independent judgment – a brilliant opportunity we ignore too often” – Amy Jalapeno
In today’s world problems seem to be multiplying like bunny rabbits.
“The chaos doesn’t end, you kinda just become the calm”– Nikki Rowe
Grace changes everything. It gives you the space to go inward and out of the chaos. To reconnect with your heart and soul. By leaning into intuition and independent judgment you begin to see a way forward.
I read a story that gives a great example of this. Look at movie theaters. Most people will not want to go into the closed space of a movie theater for several hours to watch a movie. And while the day of the drive ins seemed to be past, they now have the opportunity to make a comeback.
In Germany an architect wanted to create the communal aspects of watching a movie as a group. So, he launched Windows Flicks, which projects a movie on large exterior building walls. People living in apartment complexes can watch through windows, patios, or balcony’s and drink a glass of wine and take in a movie while practicing social distancing.
What kinds of projects might you brainstorm for reinventions of businesses that may be facing extinction? The architect in Germany is fundraising for the German cinema industry, so he was able to both provide a reinvention of watching a movie with others and supporting a business that needs to reinvent itself.
Any crisis can give you the opportunity to reinvent your life in some way – will you take a leap of faith, or hide under the bed scared?
I love this concept. It takes a fire in your soul to put actions to your dreams. To keep walking your sacred path to your destiny, even when it feels like the sky is falling. Grace from the heart tempers this fire, so that it is the exact amount of heat to get your feet moving. Grace changes everything.
And remember, you never have to walk alone. Grace is always a step in front of you, and all you have to do is open your arms to receive it.
Your future dreams are being held in the gift of time. When divine timing thinks you are ready, your dreams will unfold, one by one.
How can you make progress so that you can draw your dreams into reality?
You can stop thinking that ignoring your negative emotions will make them go away. What happens instead is that they become buried deep within you and start roots. Those roots manifest themselves in your being triggered every time someone else’s behavior mirrors that same emotion. Each root becomes an anchor designed to hold you in place, which keeps you from growing into who you are capable of becoming.
At this point in your journey you are being given time to dig up all of those roots. When you expose them to the light of day, they will shrivel up and turn to dust. How do you expose them?
Encourage yourself by looking for what is working in your life at this moment. What things can you be in the space of gratitude in your life right now? Where do you see room for more of your potential to come out and shine? Ask those who know and love you where your greatness is if you can’t see it for yourself.
Realize that it takes time to heal and go through all of the stages of grief. The stages of grief don’t only apply to the loss of a loved one in death. It also applies to divorce, loss of a job, most kinds of trauma, even to children leaving home to go off to college. Take whatever time is required to unpack all of your baggage.
Understand what life lessons are there, and what needs to be let go of because it doesn’t serve you any longer. It takes time to peel back all of the parts of you that don’t belong to you. It takes time to expose and accept the parts of you that you have hidden away. Your life can’t be transformed by waving a magic wand and poof you’ve changed. It is changed step by step, bit by bit, day by day.
When life falls apart, you think that everything can be solved by just going home again. You think that “going home again” is about a place. But it isn’t. Those memories of home are all based on a time, which is in the past. It is why you cannot truly “go home again”. So this chasing of home is not about a place. “Going home again” is more about you chasing a feeling of love, security. Something that you feel will help you cope with whatever life is currently throwing at you.
“Productivity is how you run away from yourself. Creativity is how you become yourself” – Brianna Wiest
When life throws you lemons, you think that you need to do something. You just don’t know what that something is. You think that you’re waiting for help. You think that if you ask everyone, someone will tell you what the right thing to do is. Even though, at the back of your mind, you already know what that is. So all that you’re really waiting for, is a time when you’re forced to do it.
When life has fractured you into pieces I want you to remember these things:
Instead of judging yourself by all of your shortcomings or things you failed to do, why not instead let your life be defined by how much you are loved by others. Repair your foundation in life, your core beliefs and values. Rebuild and repair your cracked walls and ceilings, as represented by your archetype’s and the labels you identify yourself by. Sweep up the broken glass and create a mosaic of your life with gold filling in the gaps, these represent windows that you look out of – how your see your world. Remember you are made of beautiful things.
“You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere wonderful – or where you always wanted to be. You will be grateful that things didn’t work out the way you once wanted them to” – Brianna Wiest
Life is a journey. There are patterns you will see as you travel to your many destinations. Life is sometimes remarkable, sometimes terrible, sometimes strange and yet hauntingly beautiful. Look for the surprises underneath the wrapping paper. When the moments of despair happen (and they will happen) bring out all of your beautiful memories and hold them close. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now, that this storm will also pass.
The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. Join us for the next conversation and become even more inspired to reach out and pull your dreams into reality.
“Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious” – Rachel Wolchin
You are hearing these words a lot in todays media – “Out of an abundance of caution”. It is almost always followed by something that is being cancelled or changing to an online streaming event. The city of San Jose required that Tony Robbins cancel his upcoming event in March “Out of an abundance of caution”. When you hear those words “out of an abundance of caution” how does it feel to the energy in your body? Is is constrictive? Restrictive? Does it feel like the turtle pulling in his head and legs so that all you can see is a hard shell?
“Don’t adapt to the energy in the room. Influence the energy in the room” – FabQuote.co
You have dreams, desires, and ambition for your life. You have goals that you want to bring to fruition this week; this month; and this year. When you live your life from that kind of positive energy, it attracts others who feel the same. You experience movement, progress unlike the turtle who is motionless, hiding in his shell. If you live your life from “an abundance of caution” what you will experience is being motionless, frozen in time and space. It is important to surround yourself with people who not only live from a space of abundance, but an abundance that is expansive, not contractive.
“The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself” – Unknown
Words and music both have an energy that plays with your emotions. I can listen to a sound track of almost any movie and immediately feel the emotions that they are creating. If I have seen the movie I can see the scene itself. Here is where someone was in danger – here is where they were really happy – here is where their heart was broken. The words we hear also impact us emotionally. Negative words will drain your energy and introduce fear into your spirit. Fear itself is like a virus that will grow and take over your life if you are not aware of it being inside your energy field. It contracts you just like that turtle to hide away. To be safe.
“Stick with people who pull the magic out of you, not the madness” – Unknown
Instead be like the eagle. When the storm breaks most birds fly to a safe tree branch to hide from the weather. But not the eagle. The eagle flies above the storm. So be like an eagle and fly above the madness you see happening around you. Feel the positive energy of the eagle as you fly with it, above the madness of the storm and into the magic above it. The magic happens when you attract other positive energy people around you, as you support each other reaching up into the heights.
Here is some good advice from Vex King to protect your positive energy:
“Let me remind you: Wherever your focus is directed that’s where your energy goes. Whatever you allow in your space, you eventually become” – Overlyxclusive
So when the world goes mad, fly high above the madness. Self direct your energy instead of letting it be manipulated by negative fearful people. The media spreads the virus of fear, making everything “breaking news”. Stop letting anyone else control your mind, your feelings, and emotions. Remember what you focus on determines the reality that you are currently experiencing. It is easy to let the negative mind take over with possible world ending scenarios that expand your fears until you can no longer think logically. The secret is to focus on what builds up, not what tears down.
“She was unstoppable not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she continued despite them” – Beau Taplin
So match your own personal energy to that you want to attract in your life. Positive thoughts change your experience of life. Every smile, every loving word, every kind action are reflections of who you are. So dream BIG, stay FOCUSED, work HARD, be KIND.
“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you” – Unknown
In April of 2010 around 11 PM as my nephew and a friend were cutting across the park to go to his friends mom’s house the first shot was fired. As my nephew was hit, he yelled at his friend to run. When the second shot hit my nephew his friend started running. As the third shot hit my nephew and he crumpled to the ground his friend stopped, turned around and saw the shooter emerge from the bushes and take off running.
His friend helped him up and somehow got my nephew to his moms house and they called 911 for an ambulance. The doctors tried to get a lifeline helicopter but the fog that night was too thick for the helicopter. After working on him for over an hour, they thought they had him stable enough for transport to another hospital 30-45 min away. As my sister tried to catch up to the ambulance driving over the mountain pass, they phoned her to tell her to turn around. My nephew had died in route.
Let’s go back in time to the beginning of this fateful Friday. My nephew woke up early and grabbed his surfboard. On the way to Lighthouse field he stopped and gave away some breakfast sandwiches he had made to several homeless guys as he checked in on them. It was a regular routine for him to encourage them to quit drinking and take back control over their lives. He then went on to meeting one of his best friends at Lighthouse Field. His friend was going to film him surfing. The waves were supposed to be really good and he had this trick he had been working on for some time. He wanted to have it filmed so he could see what it looked like. The waves were as predicted and he nailed his trick.
From there he went to work at O’Neils Surf shop. Then he met another friend and together they went to another friends house. Close to 11 PM they started across the park so he could get his bike and ride home. Then “Shots Fired” happened. A random gang banger shooting. The shooter never said a word. He just blew up our world from the cover of darkness for no reason that we could ever understand.
“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us” – suburbanment.com
Fast forward a few years. Our family is still recovering from my nephews murder. My sister started a non-profit Mother Grizzles Against Gangs, but she ran out of money and closed it down.
Santa Cruz Sentinel 2014> "Four years ago this month, JoAnn Tennent lost her only child in a shooting near Grandview Street in Santa Cruz. Carl Reimer was 19, and no one has been arrested in his homicide. Wednesday evening outside Santa Cruz City Hall, Tennent shared her grief with more than 80 people gathered at the third annual Victims Rights March of Solidarity. She also carried a message of hope and strength to stand together against gangs and violence in Santa Cruz County. “Carl wasn't just my son, he was your son. Because all your children are my children too,” she said. “When someone takes someone from your life, it's devastating. We can't just act like this doesn't happen.” As part of National Crime Victims” Rights Week, the march started at Santa Cruz County Superior Court at 701 Ocean St. and ended at city hall. Participants held pictures of loved ones who had fallen victim to crime in the county, and they marched with posters with slogans such as “Stop gang violence” and “Violence does not only affect the victim.”"
As a coping mechanism I had started writing to heal my sadness and grief. I was posting things on my personal Facebook page that I was writing. I thought just maybe it would help my friends and family. We were all rebuilding our lives around Carl’s loss.
“if you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed” – Unknown
A lot of people started commenting and sharing what I was writing and they encouraged me to do more. And so this LemonadeMaker page was born. I named it LemonadeMaker because I believe that we are all making lemonade out of life’s lemons. It all started as part of my own recovery, and it grew into a life purpose. It’s a vast vision, a dream that I work to fulfill every day. It’s a calling. Although we lost someone we loved so much – the day of his death was also a day that Carl was following his own dreams. He had a great morning. He was really stoked that he had nailed his trick with his surfboard. He wasn’t leaving his dreams for someday I will . . . , he was living them on purpose.
“In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths” – Quoteslife101.net
I looked at my life and realized I wasn’t doing the same. I was putting off my dreams for when I retired. For later. So when I started LemonadeMakers it was for the purpose of realizing my dreams of being a game changer. Of being an influencer. Of helping others to fulfill their dreams now. Because none of us are promised a later to do it in.
Steven Pressfield stated in “The Art of War”, that most of us have two lives; the lives we live and the lives we are capable of living.
5 years later LemonadeMakers has almost 100,000 followers. This happened because I saw something positive to retrieve from the ashes of my grief. My nephew left me a trail to follow and I have been walking down it ever since. It has totally changed my life. I had put off the dream of writing, because my mind fears said I would fail. Obviously that wasn’t true. I had told myself for years that I was an introvert and couldn’t communicate with strangers. Too my surprise this was also totally not true. How many mind fears – lies – are you listening too instead of pursuing your dreams?
Don’t put your dreams off to tomorrow. Start fulfilling them today. Live the life you are capable of living.
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“Sometimes, thing don’t go as planned. Life doesn’t always go the way you hope it will. You can’t plan everything. Life takes you where it wants to – you’re pretty much just along for the ride! Just breathe – Re-Evaluate – Step out of the box – Forgive – Be grateful.” – Namala Lakesh
I believe in plans. But I also believe in being flexible. I believe in taking stock and making constant adjustments. It’s like a sailboat. You are subject to winds and currents, but with the rudder and sails, you have the ability to maneuver into the direction you want to go. Which is why I love the way I plan out my month and year. I make plans and then as life happens I see where I need to make adjustments. To re-evaluate what is really most important in the current time and space to accomplish. That’s why I am sharing this system with all of you. It works!
“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails.” – Elizabeth Edwards
Sometimes things happen in the reverse order of your expectations. The patience comes in because you automatically put expectations on the plans. You visualize them out step by step, and then life happens. You lose you job, the promised promotion and/or raise doesn’t materialize. Someone close to you is faced with a critical medical diagnosis. The money you had planned for vacation now has to go to put in new plumbing. In short, life happens. You need to adjust your sails.
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” – Michael Jordan
Sometimes obstacles are like the monsters under the bed. You hear a noise. Your imagination runs wild. Your heartbeat goes out of control. Suddenly you are screaming. And it was all in your head. Other times they are legitimate. I remember one of the contestants in America’s Got Talent had been a singer, then tragedy struck. She went deaf from a medical condition. She stopped singing and gave up her career.
“Our life doesn’t always turn out the way we planned, but sometimes that’s because what we planned wasn’t suppose to be our life.” – Gdonell
Mandy said in an interview, “I made the mistake of associating my entire identity with one single dream, and when that dream died, I very much felt like I died. I became a husk of a person for awhile.”
“Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes heading in a new direction can be scary until you realize you’re headed toward a new and exciting destination.” – Susan Cole
Then she got an electric tuner and spent 10 hours learning to sing each note perfectly. “I couldn’t believe it”, she says, “My perfect pitch and muscle memory all came together.” Mandy Harvey.
“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.” – Michele Ruiz
Then one day she decided to stop fighting against her dreams and start fighting for them. She began writing her own songs and singing again. She discovered that this real obstacle could be overcome. She discovered that a big chunk of the real obstacle was in her own mind. Singing a song she composed she got sent straight through to the finals on America’s Got Talent. She finished fourth.
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, and let go and see what happens.” – Mandy Hale
If you take a good honest look at your life so far, you will see times where what you had planned fell apart – and that it was a good thing. You underestimated what you were are capable of. You made plans that were far too limiting in regards to your potential. When you let go of the expectation of the plan, and how it should go – and instead learned to feel your way with intuition, amazing things happened.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
You discover hidden talents. You uncover better ways to expand your comfort zones. So when the path you are walking on changes direction, don’t be afraid to keep going. When the sign says “dead end” don’t be afraid to go off the path and create your own. When the wind blows you backwards, grab a tree and hold on. When life challenges you to sit it out, get up and fight to keep moving forward.
“If we can just let go and trust that things will work out the way they’re supposed to, without trying to control the outcomes, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.” – Goldie Hawn
LemonadeMakers is hosting a monthly free class on goals, resolutions, plans – whatever you want to call your means of change and transformation in your life. We discuss on a live Zoom call what is happening that is working and not working. Ideas to try to get us motivated to change and transform our lives. Where we might re-evaluate our plans. How to adjust our sails.
We invite you to join with us the first Saturday of every month. The next class registration is opening today. Come join us! Click on the box to register now.
“A pivot is a change in strategy without a change in vision” – Eric Ries
All around the world people make plans. They set goals. They build on their dreams. Every year brings you some of the same goals and maybe this year you have a few new ones. For the majority of us that is as good as it gets. Why?
Because sometime in January or February or maybe even March your willpower begins to fade out. You slow down. You procrastinate and put it off for next month (this is me – lol). You tell yourself what’s the hurry? I have all year to get this done.
What if this year you do something unique? What if you pivot instead?
“You can only succeed. You cannot fail. Failure is impossible …, an illusion…, Nothing. Everything moves the human story…, forward. Everything advances you on your journey” – Neal Donald Walsh
Thinking back to secondary education (Jr. High, High School or College) did you get your assignments done when they were assigned or when they were due? How many late nights cram sessions did you have to do to finish a paper that you had weeks to complete but waited until the last minute?
The majority of us were late night crammers. And that is one of the things that leads us to fail in our dreams. resolutions, goals, and plans. Not fail as in we can’t do it but fail as in, we decide to quit trying to do it.
When you make your goals with the intention of accomplishing them within 12 months, you will delude yourself that you have plenty of time until there isn’t any time, and then you will quit. Why?
You are out of integrity with your life
Because unlike school when you would have failed a class and then been grounded by a parent, you are only lying to yourself.
The problem with lying to yourself though, is that you are then out of integrity with yourself, and it plays out in your life over and over again. Every time you say you are going to do something, that negative voice will say – “yeah right – you know that you are not really going to accomplish this, so why waste any time or effort in pretending.”
“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise, why else even be here” – Steve Jobs
This year what if instead of a 1-year plan, why don’t you do something different? Do a weekly plan. You choose how many weeks you want to plan for. 12 weeks is sufficient to work in a new positive habit. For most goals it gives you enough time to plan out how to accomplish it. If the goal needs more than 12 weeks such as education, plan out major steps that can be accomplished within 12 weeks.
Get out your pencil and three pieces of paper for this exercise. I want you to limit yourself to three goals. Write one goal on each sheet of paper.
“How does the WHY relation to the vision” – Simon Sinek
Now write down some steps that would need to happen in order for you to accomplish your goal. As an example, you might want to go back to school to get a degree for a change in your career or to help you advance further in your degree. Since this is probably more than 1 year, plan out 3 steps that can be accomplished within the chosen number of weeks.
If it isn’t pulling you to complete it, it’s not really your goal. Keep digging until you reach that place where the dream hooks you. Then do the following step.
Only list three steps that can be accomplished within the chosen timeframe. Your goals should always be driven to your life purpose. To move forward into who you are meant to be, who you are becoming. Otherwise, it is just wasting your time, effort and money.
Always check in with our inner guidance system and follow where that is leading us. There will always be some positive emotions, some connection – it will lead us if we get quiet and listen and feel for it.
“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle” – Steve Jobs
For a budget goal, you could plan out goals for each pay period. Weekly, biweekly, monthly – according to the time frame your paychecks arrive.
Continue in a similar manner for your third goal. What is so cool about this pivot is that you can play with it to see what number of weeks works for you. The budget goal for example will continue all year long. You will have accomplishments for each time period that you are working through. Celebrate each milestone – it is what fuels you to the next milestone and gets you over the disappointments when life happens and creates havoc in accomplishing our dreams.
“If the challenge we face doesn’t scare us, then it’s probably not that important” – Simon Sinek
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. So, take a second and think about what I wrote up above. Did you take out paper and pencil or did you just read through it thinking that you would come back later and do it?
What I also know about myself is that if someone takes the time to work with me through the material, I get some action and forward momentum started. I will answer the questions and get my brain thinking and planning. So, take this small first step for 2020 and let’s create something personally designed just for you!
Commit to your dreams. Travel down a clear path to your date with destiny.
“Have goals, Chase dreams, but do not let your Happiness depend on their achievement” – Manoj Arora
There is a promise today that we can achieve happiness from living a better life. It might be taking certain herbs, oils or medications. The promise of living a vegan, vegetarian, paleo lifestyle, that somehow having a special diet will make us feel happier. Detoxing from all electronics. Living a simple lifestyle, purging our homes of all the material things others think make them happier. They all promise to somehow give us more energy and therefore more happiness.
You might still buy into that vision of being super woman – the woman that can balance raising children, maintain a pristine “Better Homes & Garden” home, successfully climb the corporate ladder, and still wear the sexy lingerie every night. Who can be the soccer mom, volunteer at school. and bake homemade cookies for the classroom. That mom who schedules and drives to every doctor appointment, after school activity, and social event.
“Sweetheart, marry your goals. Remain committed to success and be loyal to your dreams. It’s okay to choose yourself” – r.h. Sin
Focus on what matters
You are so busy chasing perfection, that happiness when it briefly touches you, it is lost as a momentary endorphin high. With each hit, we immediately start seeking the next one.
“Don’t chase your dreams . . , Instead . . , Hunt your goals” – Preeya
Instead of moving immediately to the next thing on your list, sit on the feelings of happiness. Notice those moments of being grateful, relaxed, and appreciated that come from being happy. Feel it completely. Focus on the joy.
Like taking that first bite of your favorite food, savor the feeling from the top of your body down to your toes. Taking the time to fully experience happiness converts it from a temporary endorphin high to making it a lasting change in your mind and mood.
“She loves – the smell of coffee; blooming roses; and new beginnings” – Unknown
There is this balance of being happy from when you get a raise, and the happiness of completing a complex long term goal. The first one lifts your mood (an endorphin high) – like a favorite song that makes you want to sing and dance. The second one is deeply fulfilling because it was difficult to achieve. The amount of happiness in your life is dependent on the quality of your thoughts.
The question to ask yourself is “what is your definition” of a life well lived? All you will get from chasing perfection is exhaustion. Get curious about what makes you happy? Your current circumstances have nothing to do with your current state of happiness or lack thereof. Ask yourself where your passion comes from? What gives you joy?
“Do not chase another human being. Instead, chase your curiosity. Chase your development and your goals. Chase your passion. Strive to work for something bigger than yourself, and instead of trying to convince someone that you fit within their world – build your own” – Bianca Sparacino
It’s the little things that create a lasting happiness.
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you” – Deepak Chopra
Make your own list of little things that make you happy and include those things with every goal you create. You will find it easier to start each new goal and to build and keep momentum in accomplishing each goal. It’s vitally important to remember that the goals you set are not a final destination.
“There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that comes from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence” – Deepak Chopra
Goals, dreams and visions are a part of the journey, not your final destination. The combination of the quality of goals you set for yourself and how they expand your comfort zone creates who you are becoming. It is the self knowledge that each experience reveals to you that tells you where you are on your journey of self knowledge. It is walking in the direction of your life’s purpose that brings in lasting happiness.
I invite you to join us on February 1st for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement.
Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
Instead of just thinking “I could do this” come and find out just how much you can do, confront your deepest fears. Stop playing small. Shine out in all of your brilliance. Give yourself permission to be all that you can be in 2020.
They say that we all have at least one book inside of us. It could be a biography; a cookbook; gardening; crafts; fiction or nonfiction. You could write science fiction, mystery, comedy, drama and so on. You might have overcome tragedy and write about how you did it. All kinds of ideas can come creeping inside of your head on what you would want to pass on to the next generation. Lessons learns that can help others live a happier more fulfilled life.
Your entire life journey ultimately consists of the steps you are taking at this very moment – S. Williams
You might look at the goal of writing a book and shrink back. It’s going to take a lot of time and sacrifice to write. It might not be, no – it definitely won’t be any good. The publishers will reject it and then I will have wasted all of that time and effort. You might come up with a million reasons and excuses on why not – but what if you did it for the one right reason? What reason?
You have a story to tell
What if this year is different and you choose to tell it? How could you make it happen? How do you make any kind of big hairy audacious goal happen? The same way the joke says that you eat an elephant – one bite at a time.
A pivot to me is an about movement. A turning point. A radical way of viewing something that expands your universe as well as your personal space. It is the realization that we are all the same, yet at the same time you have the ability to be your own unique person. It is the understanding that one size does not fit all, and you have the gift of being able to alter any situation into one that does fit the one of a kind “YOU”.
Your vision helps you focus on your dreams – Chris D Costello
So, what is your big dream?
The typical answers are time and money. You might have one but not the other. But that isn’t really what is holding you back. Fear is what does it.
Chase one rabbit at a time
There is a proverb that says that if you chase two rabbits, you won’t catch either one. Maybe one of the issues with New Year’s Resolutions is that we are all chasing more than one rabbit?
That’s what I love about the idea of changing the time frame from a yearly resolution to a smaller time frame. You can chase one rabbit at a time.
So, this year try something new. Take your goal, your big hairy audacious goal, and put it into bite size chunks.
It could be one week at a time, four weeks at a time; twelve weeks at a time – you decide what works for you. Say for example you want to write a book. Start with a story line – Who is your hero? Your protagonist? What are their stories? Their dreams of life and their failures. Sketch them out – families, school, work, friends.
Focus means: F-ollow; O-ne; C-ourse; U-ntil; S-uccess – Unknown
Start with a three-hour block of time per week. You can have one three-hour block of time, or three one-hour blocks. Do what you know you can commit to.
Keep a notebook with you to write down thoughts and ideas as they occur to you. Write down your dreams the minute you wake up, because your subconscious is going to start working in your favor. It’s going to give you whole scenes to write down.
Your story is based on who you become in your lifetime. It is based on small decisions and large ones. It is based on what life throws your way and what you throw back. It is based on what you create out of what you have been given.
When I was first married my husband went to an auction with one of his friends. He came home with a box. It was a random box of stuff that they auctioned unopened. Inside was stuff you probably would have thrown away and not even given to the goodwill.
What can I make out of this?
I was mad at first that he wasted his money. Then I became determined to do something positive and useful with this box of stuff. I took apart all of the material from the clothes inside the box and created a baby quilt out of it for our first child. I still think of that today whenever life has given me a box of stuff, I think I can’t use. I take it apart and say, now what can I make out of this?
When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid – Audre Lorde
What distractions and obstacles are showing up in your life at this moment?
From a solution perspective, how do you live your life on purpose? A key ingredient is knowing when to pivot, to rethink your plan, while still accomplishing your goals. It’s a new year – you have made some plans, goals, or resolutions for this year, is it time to pivot? To rethink your plan?
Don’t waste any more time
Don’t waste any more time avoiding your dreams or thinking that they are impossible. Pick them up and make them a priority.
Need some ideas to unlock your potential? Contact us.
“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more” – Rosabeth Moss Kanter
When you are living a life on purpose, what does that really mean? You see yourself on a journey to accomplish something that is important to you. Say for example that you want to run a marathon. You set a goal of getting up every morning at 4 AM to run before you go to work.
Now you and I know that there are going to be mornings when you don’t want to get out of bed. When you promise yourself that you will just sleep in this one time and that you will run when you get home instead. But of course, when you get home, you have so many things to do that evening that you are too tired to run.
When your will power runs dry, what then?
Your actions will always, be 100% congruent with your thinking. So, if you set a goal to run a marathon, and you set up a plan of how much running you must do in order to complete the marathon – yet you find yourself not getting up at 4 AM as planned, then your thinking is not congruent with your goals.
“You have to have a lot of passion for what you are doing because it is so hard …, if you don’t, any rational person would give up” – Steve Jobs
You need a change of thinking. You need a breakthrough. A breakthrough is a natural result of a shift in your thinking. You suddenly connect past, present, future into a thought that sheds light on something you never saw before. When you have a breakthrough, it feels as though the DNA in your body has changed every single cell. Like one moment you knew who you were. Then the next moment you are someone totally new. You realize that you can never go back to what you were before.
Shifting your mindset can create opportunities that you never imagined were possible. Many times, it happens when you run out of ideas. When you hit the wall. When you finally let go and let God. It clarifies and simplifies everything. It’s like the spotlight appears out of the darkness and shows you the way home. You become more of who you are supposed to be.
Become more of who you are supposed to be
“Awareness is not a giver of solace – it is just the opposite. It is a disturber and an awakener” – Robert K Greenleaf
It is kind of funny what happens when you wake up and become aware of how simple life can really be. You are full of plans to run the marathon. You are taking action. Then something happens, and everything changes.
Your “WHY” is what creates a compelling vision for your life of purpose
How does your “WHY” relate to the vision you have created? Your “WHY” is what creates a compelling vision for your life of purpose. It will clearly capture and establish an emotional connection to keep you on purpose to your vision.
It gets you up at 4 AM excited to go running, even in the rain or when you are just too tired to even press the snooze button. Your “WHY” is the means to get you to the end result – running in that marathon.
Around 20 years ago, in the month of January, my middle son got engaged. They set the date to get married in August. I was so happy for them. I wanted to pay for their dream honeymoon. I contacted the travel agent they were working with and got all of the details. I sat down and planned it out exactly how I could pay for it.
“Hold the vision. Trust the process” – Unknown
A couple of weeks later they decided to move the date to May. I was devastated. I could see no way to pay for it in time. I decided to try something new I had learned about at a real estate seminar. I sat down and wrote out a letter expressing how happy I was that I could pay for their honeymoon. How they had the best time at their dream destination.
About two weeks later I got a phone call out of the blue about 10 acres that we owned in rural Upstate New York. The neighbors across the street wanted to purchase the property for cash and they were ready to close it immediately. We settled on the price and two weeks later I had the exact amount needed to pay for the honeymoon.
Want to learn how to do the same thing?
How did this happen? I created a compelling vision of what I wanted to do. Not how it would get done. I captured all of the emotions involved in being able to do this for my son and his new wife. It created an emotional connection to my vision. It opened doors I didn’t even know existed. Want to learn how to do the same thing?
“If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you” – Steven Jobs
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material, I get some action and forward momentum started. So, take this small first step for 2022. Create something personally designed just for you!
If you want some ideas and brainstorming, contact me via LemonadeMakers.
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway – Earl Nightingale
On your birthday and at the beginning of each new year you take a look at both the time that has passed, and what time might yet be available to you.
I firmly believe that if God has planted something in your heart to do, then you must have the ability to do it. At the same time, you might wonder if he’s really, really sure you can do it, because it feels like it is just out of reach. You might wonder “who am I” to go after something that big. Fears creep in all sorts of shapes and sizes to prevent the dreams from being fulfilled.
My son was visiting with his wife and a little dog. They took in a rescue dog. He’s named after the pirate in the movie The Goonies – “One-Eyed Willie” because before they got him, he had lost an eye.
Willie loves cheese. My son will hold up a piece of cheese and Willie will jump up to get it. He will hold it up just out of Willie’s “normal” jumping ability and it is amazing how high that little dog will jump for his cheese. At first you think he can’t do it, but he is determined and somehow, he gets just a little bit higher and grabs his cheese. We all cheer for him.
When you are pursuing a dream, it has to be something just out of reach. Otherwise, it isn’t something that stretches you. It must be something that you aren’t sure how to do or what to do to make it happen. Like Willie, if you want it bad enough, you will find that little bit of extra strength and leap up just high enough to grab “your cheese” (dream) and pull it down into reality.
Take a moment and write this out for yourself (taken from the program DO IT SCARED with my own additions) fill in the blanks at the end of each sentence.
Every year millions of people make New Year’s Resolutions or Goals. If you have ever joined a gym, you see it happen year after year. The goal of weight loss or physical fitness of some sort is made, and the gyms are all packed in January. In February they begin losing a few people. In March a few more and by April the gym is back to what is normal attendance.
Why do we make goals each year that after a few months fall by the wayside? And what can you do to make this year different?
So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable – Christopher Reeves
I don’t think it is just a matter of being or having something you truly desire. And it isn’t just a matter of will power. Or attitude. Or a million other words that mean essentially the same thing as motivation. It is more complicated than that.
So many other little negative reasons, stop signs, or caution lights that add up to another year, in which you didn’t make any or very little progress towards your dreams.
Create a vision that is crisp and clear. A perfect clarity for both the near distance and far into the future. To build on your foundation of living a better life, whatever that means to you personally. A year where you can make progress each month and celebrate what you are accomplishing.
A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true – unexpectedlydomestic.com
In pursuit of that, take the paragraph that you wrote out above and chose three words that will create three big hairy audacious goals for this year.
Rather than just talking about how to fill in a bunch of answers and creating a goal plan with steps, I would love to invite you to contact me via messenger.
It’s not just about you writing some words on a piece of paper. It’s also about brainstorming your way, mapping out the detours around the obstacles to fully implement your plan.
What I know for sure is that we all hit walls of failure, fatigue, and flat tires. It helps us to have a few tricks up our sleeves to handle them so that they just create slowdowns and maybe a few detours, but not letting anything stop you completely.
In April of 2019 I went to my birth father’s funeral. He died of complications of dementia. I hadn’t seen him in years. My parents divorced when I was four years old. Despite all of my intensely wanting him to be a part of my life, it just never happened. Many reasons, excuses and stories – too many to go into here. What I wanted to talk about from my own experience is the feelings of being a child of divorced parents.
For me it was very painful because I blamed myself for the divorce. I thought it was something I did. Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, there are probably a lot of people in the world who grew up like me. Thinking that somehow you caused the divorce. I didn’t realize that I believed this until I had kids of my own.
Lots of self-analyzing and trying to figure out where my own self sabotage patterns originated revealed it to me. My adult self knows that it isn’t true.
My dad like a lot of fathers remarried another woman with children. They became his family as is right. Unfortunately, my stepmother didn’t return the favor and the few times I went to their home it was clear I wasn’t wanted. It was clear as a child, as a teenager and as an adult when I visited with what should have been her grandkids, we were not welcome.
So, my dad and I became completely estranged. It broke my heart. For me at least, I always wanted my dad to say he wanted me in his life, and then to try to make that happen. I had the fantasy that once I was an adult and he didn’t have to deal with my mom, that he would show up and be the dad I always wanted.
I didn’t realize how much of that fantasy was lying beneath the surface until I found out he had died.
Wintercearig is a Norwegian word meaning winter-sorrowful describing that feeling of deep sadness comparable to the cold of winter. I think that the death of the fantasy was harder than his physical death.
I solaced my heart that he had dementia, so there were probably close to 10 years that he didn’t remember me. Grief is a slippery animal though. It comes and goes when you least expect it. I know he wasn’t a happy man, and I know how hard my mother could be for him. I just wish it could have been different, and that they could have put aside their own pain for my sake.
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer – Albert Camus
I am working my way through winter of my loss. Part of that process is to pull out the gold from the dross. To find the invincible summer in my story. To make Lemonade from the lemons. My disappointments in my childhood and the letting go of the fantasy as an adult are part of who I am. I can talk to this with total compassion, because I have been there. I learned to appreciate the good qualities that my mom and dad had and let go of the expectations that they would ever become who I wanted them to be.
Pain has a lot of lessons to teach you. I remember years ago I was talking with one of my sister in-laws about forgiveness. She stated that if her husband ever had an affair that she would never forgive him. That she would divorce him. I told her that with big decisions in life, we think we know what we would do. But until that moment arrives it is all speculation. The reason for that is how connected everything is.
It isn’t just that someone had an affair. You have to look at all of the circumstances around what happened. There are so many things that happen in your relationship with your partner. What is going on at their work? What is going on with their larger family? What are all of the stresses in their life that weigh in on your partner, so that they would do something that would destroy their life?
When something this devasting happens and you look at all of the possible choices you have to face, many times we do not do what we thought we would. You have to stand out in the cold, and really look at every single crystal of the snowflake to make a decision. Like the snowflake, the breaking of the marriage bond is different for every couple with no two alike.
The future lies before you, like a field of fallen snow; Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show – Unknown
My experiences in life gave me a little bit of a soapbox in regard to fathers who don’t see their children. The damage it causes those children affects them every day of their life. Many of us don’t realize how much, until something happens that brings it to the surface. I had thought I had given up the fantasy of my dad showing up on my doorstep one day, saying “I love you and I want you to be part of my life”. It was still apparently a running program in the background, taking up energy.
So, if you are divorced and you aren’t connected with your children, make the sacrifice to do whatever it takes to be a part of their lives. Just show up, with no excuses. With no blame, except to say, “I’m sorry”. It may take a while before they trust you again, because even if you didn’t mean to, you broke their heart. But if you put in the effort and keep trying, eventually they will open the door.
When I am processing pain, grief, sadness, I write. This is something I am still working on, but I wanted to share the work in progress.
Maybe you are like me, a daughter or son, who just wanted to be told that they were loved, that they weren’t a mistake that could just be thrown away, that they were proud of who you became.
Maybe like me you just wanted them to show up at your door and say Hi.
A note for my Dad
I learned to say goodbye at an early age
To hear “love you, see you soon” knowing in my heart it wasn’t true
Looking out of the back window of the car as mom drove me away
Silent tears wishing I was still with you
It’s a broken road my mom and dad have made
I’m tired of feeling disloyal loving you both, being torn between you two,
I feel my frailness crumble as you both pull me apart
My heart is torn, broken with your hammers beating it to pieces
Years go by with a few hours here and there
Visits so short they can’t even be remembered
How many times I reached out to you?
Only to hear the deafening silence.
The sharp thunder of glaciers breaking up and falling into the ocean
The cold became the color of blinding whiteness
I waited for your presence, the phone call, the letter, anything
To hear you say, “I’m here and I love you.”
Deep sadness covers me like a layer of snow
Leaving my heart cold, pain frozen into arctic ice
Daddy why did you die and leave me alone
Never to hear those words, “love you, see you soon” fulfilled?
I think I will miss you forever, since we never got to say goodbye
Wishing you had been a constant presence in my life didn’t make it happen.
The gift you gave me in passing me by in forgetfulness,
Is seen daily in my being a part of my own children’s lives
Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is directly or indirectly where our expectations of life originate. We take a goal and make a plan. We see into the future possibilities. We attach meaning and purpose to a particular way we “see” the goal being accomplished. Imagination is how we come up with the plans in the first place. It is what enables us to make anything possible, anything happen.
The imagination is the golden pathway to everywhere.
– Terence McKenna
One of the danger signs on the road of our imagination is that we project meaning into everything that happens. Now if we are projecting good, positive meanings to what is happening, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, many times what we are projecting is suffering into what is happening. If someone sent you a text message that said, “boy, what a day I am having”. What’s the first thought that comes into your head? Without the emotion in the voice or cues from body language, where does your mind go first – to something great is happening in their day or something horrible is happening to their day?
Reality is something you rise above.
– Liza Minnelli
We need to constantly ask ourselves, what am I busy painting onto the canvas of my imagination? There are no rules to what I decide to paint. If I think that I can only be successful if my view of my current reality is matching to what I imagined my life would look like, then I am going to be doomed to disappointment. How many times have I whined in my head, “but this isn’t how it’s supposed to be?” How can I rise above what I perceive to be my reality, to what I am trying to create in my life?
Imagination is the most marvelous, miraculous, inconceivably powerful force the world has ever known.
– Napoleon Hill
Imagination is what leads to creation. Think of all of the great science fiction writers and their imaginations. Deep sea diving, submarines with Jules Verne. Star Trek and their recorders to our cell phones. Isaac Asimov and self driving cars and the stun gun (taser). H.G. Wells and atomic power. We are so close to being able to print and replace body parts, organ transplants, tricorders for medical diagnosis. To travel to the stars and go beyond our galaxy. All things that have happened and will happen in our futures, because someones imagination said, “what if . . , “.
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is what you need to see that although there may be problems in your life that need to be solved, they are also realities to be lived through. It is the meaning I give to my life that enables me to perceive that I am successful, that I am happy. How I perceive my life to be, is the reality I am creating for myself. The meaning comes from my feelings about what is happening. I can get lost in the maze of what it should be. I can also choose to see life as it truly is and acknowledge that most of the times when I have really grown have been when I was in the middle of some sort of failure. Taking the risk of failing, is really taking the risk that the growth that comes out of that failure is worth the cost of failing.
The world is a canvas for your imagination. You are the painter. There are no rules. Get to work.
There is a beach collage in the movie “The Man of the House” which the mom Sandy, (played by Farrah Fawcett) adds to every time she goes to the beach with the family. All through the movie she is adding a piece to it, until finally she sets a final piece in it and declares it is done. It is highly likely that this collage in her head when she first imagined it and what she actually created are not the same. But who makes the rule that it has to be the same? We do. We are the ones painting on our canvas. We decide what stays there and what gets scraped off and repainted with something new. The rules are created by us and we can change them. Our imagination can reshape the rules, can reshape what is on the canvas, can reshape anything to mirror what we desire to achieve in our life. My perception of my life is what makes up the reality of my life.
The power of imagination makes us infinite.
– John Muir
So what am I focusing on? Is it something that brings my imagination into reality? Because if my reality and my imagination are not even close to being the same, then I need to refocus to make it so. It’s funny how sometimes the way to make that adjustment is to learn to lose how I thought it had to be, in order to find out a better way to live it. It’s a matter of holding onto the vision that imagination has created and trusting the process of trying, failing, learning and trying again.
Live out your imagination, not your history.
– Stephen R. Covey
Raise your eyes to see the possibilities everywhere around you. They are always there. An endless hallway filled with doors waiting for you to step through. As you go through a new door, remember – nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. To be perceived in such a way that it creates the reality that you are searching for. So don’t just sit there. Get up and get busy!