“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
When you “give a man a fish”, you cripple their ability to grow. They become dependent and it is unhealthy for both you and them. You feel responsible them and at some point you will feel as though you are being used and grow resentful. For them it is restrictive and demeaning. Even though you may have the very best of intentions, at some point they will hate you for how they feel about themselves. We see this play out in families and job situations all of the time.
It reminds me of the old coal towns, when the “company” was the only employer in a small town, and you had to rent your home from the company and buy your food in the company store. I am sure that there were some companies where it started out with the mentality of “give a man a fish”; but it allowed for the “company” to abuse the people, and the people who at first were so glad to have the home and job, later came to resent the company, because it was a restrictive and demeaning way to live. It essentially kept them in poverty and as the old folksong said, “I owe my soul to the company store.” .
When you “teach a man to fish” you give them skills that will last a lifetime. They can take those skills and apply them to a multiple of professions and interests in their lives. They say that you could take a self made millionaire, take away all of their money and drop them off in any town in America and in a short while they would be a millionaire again, because they know what it takes to become one.
They know how to stretch their comfort zone, to think outside of the box and that they have untapped resources in them that come out when they are in a challenging situation. They understand their potential, and they have self confidence, and understand that outside stresses are a catalyst to even bigger capabilities in their lives.
So if life is being challenging to you right now, go deep inside yourself to that “inner knower”. Tap into that space of infinite possibility and see what untapped resources that you have within you. Use those resources as a catalyst to leap forward on your journey. I believe that all of us are more powerful that we ever dreamed – so dream bigger and teach others how to step into their own greatness.
We all have these gifts to give others. The gift of time; the gift of listening; the gift of graciousness and respect; the gift of laughter; and the gift of a smile.
Everyday I try to smile to everyone I see. If I talk with someone, I try very hard to just listen and not get caught up in the trap of thinking what I am going to reply. I am sure that most everyone tries to do these things each day to the people that come into our lives.
I have a question though – when was the last time that you gave these gifts to yourself?
Did you give yourself time today to do nothing?
Did you meditate and listen to your inner wisdom?
Did you give yourself the gift of graciousness and respect or did you have negative self talk about your appearance; about something that you did that didn’t turn our perfect?
Did you laugh at yourself today? This in itself makes me smile as I think that we all have those days in which we hope no one just noticed what we did because we are embarrased – why not laugh about it? It is really freeing.
Did you look into a mirror today and smile and tell yourself that you are a wonderful person? You should!
“What I wanted was to be allowed to do the thing in the world that I did best – which I believed then and believe now is the greatest privilege there is.” – Debbie Field.
She was told that no one would buy her cookies, but she did it anyway not because she wanted to be successful financially – she wasn’t chasing dollars. She did it because she felt a need to share something of herself with others, to give and be a part of things. And I believe that is why she was successful. She was passionate, gave from her heart, and she connected to people by using her talents. Sharing your gift is a critical part of your success.
“People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and they pass themselves by without wondering.”—St. Augustine
Don’t be afraid to accept your brilliance & stop belittling it. Each of us have gifts that we take for granted, stop a moment to say thank you for your gift that is you.