Breathe In The Love

Updated 2/01/2020

2020, in the month April it was the 10-year anniversary of my nephew murder.  He would have been 29 years old last month.  It’s hard to process everything that has happened as a consequence of that happening in our family.  My sister has more good days than bad, but she is still and will probably always be stuck in her loss.  My life has shifted so much I don’t think I am even in the time zone.  The ripples of his death will keep moving as long as someone reads this blog about our loss.

“No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away…, ” – Terry Pratchett

Out of every great tragedy there comes the hidden blessings.  One of the blessings I received after my nephew’s murder was someone who was able to take the grief and loss that I felt and turn it into something beautiful and full of hope.  I wrote a poem purging myself of the intense waves of grief.  Writing is how I make sense of the senseless, it is how I can remain sane, when the crazy is calling my name.  So when my nephew was murdered, I wrote a poem about what I was going through.

“Writing is like breathing, it’s possible to learn to do it well, but the point is to do it no matter what” – Julia Cameron

I encourage anyone going through difficult times to write it out.  I think that it releases the poison, that would corrupt our souls.  In pain, we hold our breath.  Writing helps us to start breathing again.  To realize that we can still have a chance for a better and happier life.

“When we focus our energy towards constructing a passionate meaningful life, we are tossing a pebble into the world, creating a beautiful ripple effect of inspiration.  When one person follows a dream, tries something new or takes a daring leap, everyone nearby feels that energy and before too long they are making their own daring leaps and inspiring yet another circle” – Christine Mason Miller

I will print my poem at the end of this.  While I was able to process my way through the grief, it still felt a little dark.  The gift that this stranger was able to give me, was taking this poem and my story, and creating this beautiful song from it.  It took away the darkness in my poem and transmuted it into light.

I reached for this poem when someone else I love is having their own dark night of the soul.  We all need to remember that even though there are dark nights, they can be transmuted into something beautiful.

“Only in the darkness, can you see the stars” – Martin Luther King Jr.

I think that we all have those days, when the sky turns black, with no sunlight or starlight to shine upon us.  We think that God has turned his back on us.  We feel the intense emotions that threaten to drown us.  As I say in my poem, sometimes the sorrow burns us alive.

“Some days our grief appears as small manageable ripples.  Other days it completely crashes over us without any warning.  These are the days you need to be able to sit, reflect and remember; and not feel guilty in doing so” – Just Over the Rainbow Bridge

Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing that we can accomplish in a day, is to simply breathe.  Breathing in the love, turns the storm into a calmer sea.  The sun rises again.  As the poem ends, we can breathe again.  We can breathe in the love, grace, forgiveness, joy and hope and manifest it back into the world.

I hope you enjoy the song.  We had it created especially for LemonadeMakers.

“We all die.  The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will” – Chuck Palahniuk

Carl’s Poem

Yesterday you were so alive riding the oceans waves, yes, life was so simple and innocent

But now your soul has left behind your flesh, and your bones lie there just an empty cage

Help me, I can’t breathe as this news fractures my life, I am so unsafe, I just can’t balance

And grief engulfs me, and anger rages, and I just can’t breathe.

I can’t breathe from hearing the news on T.V or reading the printed pages of your murder

I feel the thunderous storm of emotions pass through me as lightning strikes my heart

The senselessness of your passing, the gunshots of a stranger who tore our lives asunder

And so, I grieve, and the sorrow burns as it drowns me, and I can’t breathe.

The hours pass into days as I stumble down this long road breathing with heavy sighs

The days spent in crying, and the primal screams of the dark nights merge into numbing weeks

Yet storm clouds break up as I begin to see the healing of the rainbow’s blessings

And so, I grieve, and I begin to breathe, I breathe love.

Life carries on with unending support of love that is surrounding me and protecting me

Forgiveness is the answer, so I move past the limitations of grief, rage, and sorrow

To live in limitless love, light and joy, and my heart-lines align to the universal love

And so, I breathe love, and I add grace, I breathe, I breathe grace.

Love from Carl’s heart washes through me, cleansing and healing every part of my body

A warm wave it ignites an inner fire of transformation that love is the ultimate expression of grace

It illuminates the greater vision for my life to emerge from within me, a graceful unfolding,

And so, I breathe love and grace, and I add forgiveness, I breathe, I breathe forgiveness.

I release the need to blame you Carl, myself, or anyone else for your ending,

I release fears grip on my soul, and I choose to walk this path with love

I have experienced a grace inspired event that challenged me, and I have awakened

And so, I breathe love, grace, forgiveness, and I add joy, I breathe, I breathe joy.

Grace has opened a door whose light illuminates my next step as I step out of the darkness

I share this, your gift to the world, that love is the ultimate expression of grace

As I practice this belief, practice will yield to insight, which yields to embodiment, which yields to manifestation.

And so, I breathe love, grace, forgiveness, joy, and I add hope, I breathe, I breathe hope.

As I breathe love, grace, forgiveness, joy and hope, life becomes a celebration again

And as I let my light shine, I unconsciously give others the permission to do the same

I will live like there is not tomorrow, I will live like there was no yesterday

I will breathe, I will breathe love, grace, forgiveness, joy and hope and manifest it out into the world.

Happy Thanksgiving

I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for becoming part of our community.  Thank you for taking the time to read our posts.  For commenting and liking them and most of all for sharing them with others.

I wanted to let you know that you have all become special to me, because through you I have realized that I am not the only one who thinks about what I write.  Thanks to you I have realized that there are many people in this world who see the possibilities that our world can become a better place.

I also wanted to take this day for helping me to be able to receive the love that you have shown to me, in encouraging me to continue to write my heart out on this page.  I always dreamed of being a writer, since I was a very small girl.  But I didn’t think that I had any talent.  I didn’t think that what I wanted to talk about, was anything that anyone would want to read.  You have no idea of the joy you have brought into my life.

Thank you!  You are a blessing in my life.  We are a blessing to each other.

Sending Love Wherever It Is Needed

We all have those days.  The days when nothing is seeming to go the way you planned.  That day when every mistake you made in the past year, shows up on your desk within 5 minutes of your sitting down.  Those days when you feel that the very idea of being able to control anything in your life, is life’s great joke on you.

“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all, or by having everything happen at once”  – Paulo Coelho

If you could see what was being hidden in each of our lives, I think that you would be more loving to one another.  There is a video that was done, where little thought bubbles come up as the camera goes down the halls and elevators in a hospital.    Someone is saying goodbye to their dying father.  One man was just told the tumor was benign, while another was told he has cancer.  An elderly woman with oxygen has been waiting for a heart transplant for 69 days.  An exhausted nurse is at the end of a 12 hour shift.  “

Those are the days when you need someone to hug you and say, “You are Good Enough.  You are Capable of Handling this.  You are Important.  You are more than Worthy.  You are LOVED.  You are NOT ALONE.”  These are the days that you need all of the light and love that the world can send you.  What you have to remember, is that at this very moment, someone in the world is either sending you that love, or is in need of you to send that love.

“Could a greater miracle take place, than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” – Henry David Thoreau

It is when you are living your life from the place of passion and purpose, that you shine the brightest.  Knowing that your deepest dreams can be reached.  It is when you take that deep breath, and just let the emotions flow out of you, that you can reset yourself.  It is hard to be loving and empathetic when you are in survival mode.  You need to give yourself the oxygen mask, reset your emotions and then help others.  Find that spark inside of you, and let it shine first for you.  Then shine it for others to help them find theirs.

Recently driving into work, I was playing a CD with healing sounds.  A friend of mine knew that I have been having some health issues, and thought it might help.  So I purchased it and have been playing it all week.

I realized that every area in almost everyone’s life right now is undergoing some issues.  Work layoffs; health issues; injustices in life, and just watching the news can make you a  little stressed out about how everything is in a negative place right now.

Writing these posts and finding the “good news” articles and videos is what keeps my feet walking down my path of transformation.  It is keeping me sane.  It is why I write, and why I want to share what I find with all of the other LemonadeMakers out there.

“Remember . . .  the entrance to the sanctuary is within you”  – Rumi

Then you add in everything negative happening with the war in Ukraine, fighting in politics between the parties, terrorists’ attacks; the workplace and school shootings, countries at war within their own borders, or threatening to make war on other countries – it can all feel overwhelming.

None of these problems have easy solutions.  I think that we are all being called by the Divine to wake up.  To be the love and light that the world needs to heal.  We all need to heal in some way.

“Spread love everywhere you go.  Let no one ever come to you with leaving happier”  –  Mother Teresa

When you lift someone else up, it automatically lifts you up.  As the saying goes, “you rise by lifting others”.  It is not dependent on the other person appreciating your showing them love.  It is not dependent on it being reciprocated back to you.  It could even be ignored.  It will still lift both of you up.

This is because your showing love to others means that you are actively involved in the growth and support of another person.  Right now, you may not be in a place of being able to offer a refugee a place to stay.  You may not be in a place to donate money to help support someone in need.  But you are always in a place of showing love to someone.  Even if it is just a smile and a small prayer that love light their way forward.  You are always able to shine out the love and light to others.

Illuminate The Path For Others So They Can See A Way Out Of Their Own Darkness

The world needs more poets like Maya Angelou.  Her writings are so inspirational.

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within” – Maya Angelou

When you shine your light, it means that you are expressing your soul’s purpose in being here.  You are living congruently with your soul’s purpose and your light shines out.  Don’t you just love being around people, when they are being their authentic selves?  That is true charisma and magnetism.  Maya Angelou was such a soul.  Desmond Tutu is another such soul.

When you listen to the news each morning or evening, it is hard to see the light through all of the darkness.  So much of the news is about the darkness in your community, with only the occasional story that reflects the everyday heroes among us.

“If you light a lamp for someone else, it will also brighten your path” – Buddhist Proverb

Then you all have those times when the darkness of the world has settled into your own living rooms.

You lose a loved one in death; you lose your job; your family falls apart and that special person that promised to love you forever, leaves you.  It could be that due to addictions, your spouse or child has turned into someone that you don’t recognize.  Despite everything you try, you can’t reach them.

So much darkness can spill across your threshold, like the floods during a storm, safety seems to be an unreachable, forgotten place.  You may feel that no matter how many candles you light, the darkness has taken over and you can’t see your way out of it.  The pain has spread from your hearts and buried your soul.

This is the time when you might believe that everything is finished.  That life is over for you. That it is no longer worth living.  And that is when a new beginning happens.  I love the analogy of photos and darkrooms.  The negative is developed in the dark.  Then when the chemicals have worked their magic, the photo can be seen.  Out of the darkness comes a beautiful picture.

Something new has been created.

“If you can’t be the light, be the match.  You may not be the candle to illuminate the room, but your spark can be the source of its light” – Unknown

For most of you, if you look backwards in your lives, you find that the most personal growth was created by the darkness that entered your life.  If you can remember that, when you are going through the “dark night of the soul”, then you know that even if life is giving you bushels of lemons at the moment, something beautiful is about to be born.  It is at this time that you need to remember these words:

In the words of another wise soul, Martin Luther King Jr start where you are.

“If you can’t fly, then run.  If you can’t run, then walk.  If you can’t walk, then crawl.  But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward” – Martin Luther King Jr.

You have to keep moving forward into the light.  You have to find some way to keep the light of your heart alive.  Martin Luther King Jr. told us that only light can drive out the darkness, and only love can drive out the hate.  Your heart has both the light and the love you need contained within it, if you don’t barricade yourself from it.

So, when darkness seems to be the only thing you can see, look more closely.  LemonadeMakers are all around you.  We all have our heart lights shining out into the darkness, helping others to see their way out.

“Strong people don’t put others down, . . .  they lift them up” – Michael P Watson

You all have your own stories of the darkness that visited with you.  LemonadeMakers know your story, because we have been in your shoes.  We will help you back into the light, and you in turn will help someone else. That is what the light of love is all about.

What Holds You Back From Success?

• What makes a person go after what they want?
• How do you figure out what “that” is?
• What does courage have to do with it?
• What does it mean to live safely?

It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you’re not.   – Denis Waitley

This is such a profound quote – “You” are what holds you back.

You hold ourselves back, because you doubt yourself in some manner.

When LemonadeMakers was born, it was in response to the murder of my nephew.  His death altered the course of my life.  My life until that moment, was being lived completely in the safety zone.  I have a nice corporate job, which I had worked years to obtain.  I was successful in my career and was earning six figures.  Then everything changed.  Carl’s death started me questioning what I was really doing with my life.

Was I making a real difference to anyone?

The answer was while I had a comfortable lifestyle, and had accomplished all of the goals I set for myself, the truth was that I had not made a real difference in the world.  I realized that I had played my life safe.  I realized that if I died tomorrow, while my friends and family might miss me, the world wouldn’t realize I was gone.

The grand vision of LemonadeMakers  is a reality T.V. show, in which we follow the transformations of “normal” people in each of our hometowns, who are out in the world to make a difference.   I had no idea how to bring this dream into being.  I had a 34 year career in the financial industry and was successful in that field.  I had no connections with anyone in the entertainment industry.  I didn’t know of anyone in my own community who I could use as my first show.  I had no followers.

I didn’t have the anything in my life, to make something like that happen.  Like Denis said, what was holding me back, was what I didn’t think I was – a person who could make a sizzle reel and sell a T.V producer into making LemonadeMaers a reality T.V. show.

 What I knew is I needed to become the person who could.

A person who could attract and build a community of followers, who would want to watch this show.  A person who could locate the local community heroes to film their stories.  A person who could get introductions to the people in Hollywood that would say yes to this show.

For years I have dreamed of going to Petra in Jordan.  I have books and magazines that talk about the site.  For whatever reason, this site speaks to me more than any other place that I could visit in the world.  Why haven’t I went there?

Because it is still a poster on the wall.  Because it is a someday dream.  Because that dream is not yet coming from within me.  LemonadeMakers comes from within me.  It is like the air I breathe.  It is something that I work at every single day.  It is vital to my being alive.  It is my divine purpose.  It is my souls calling.

This vision taught me to let go of who I thought I was.

I thought that climbing the corporate ladder and earning six figures would make me happy.  It was what I was taught from an earlier age, to have a successful career.

For years I was the introvert that was invisible.  I hated being in crowds.  I never knew how to introduce myself to strangers and have a conversation.  I was comfortable being the fly on the wall that listened to what others had to say.  All of that has changed.  I let go of this need to not be seen.  Now I can step out on a stage of 600 – 700 people and talk for an hour about LemonadeMakers and see my vision take root in their hearts.

This vision made me realize that the corporate job I had put so much value in, was not what I really wanted my life to be about.   I have discovered hidden treasures that were buried deep within me.  I discovered that I can write about what is important to me, and that my writing strikes a chord in many people.  Somehow my reaction to Carl’s murder recalibrated my inner compass.  I had a new direction and a better destination.

I have made some mistakes in investing with a partnership that didn’t work out.  Having everything go as planned isn’t a learning experience.  It doesn’t change or transform you.  What I discovered about myself through that mistake was worth the price of admission, because I saw how I was still trying to play it safe by riding along on the coattails of the other business.

I discovered that the notion of being invisible was still playing a part in my life through this partnership.  Sometimes this journey has felt like I’m going to die, that it will never happen, that I’m not capable of being that person.  But every time those negative emotions poke their head out, I go back to curiosity.  I go back to wondering what the gift is I am not seeing yet.  And I start digging to expose it.

I have transformed again, and once again the wind is lifting my wings to a new experience of growth and change.  Transformation is an ongoing learning experience.  It is the journey of self discovery.   It is the understanding that change is not something to be scared of or to be avoided.  It is a natural part of your journey and the whole reason for having a destination.

I have discovered how important curiosity, anticipation, and expectation are to having fun with change and transformation.

Your journey will be different than mine.  What is the same however, is that whatever your journey uncovers is a gift.  Every roadblock.  Every detour.  Every storm, flood, earthquake, and tidal wave leaves behind a gift if you are willing to be curious.  It all boils down to “What are you doing to improve your life?”

So get excited over discovering in the debris left behind, the treasure it has exposes.  Your real life begins –

• When you believe in intuition.
• When you trust in your intuition.
• When you act from the space of imagination.

KidsEat!

If you are a child on the school lunch program, what happens on the weekends when you are not in school? Many of these children don’t have sufficient food at home to eat during the weekend.

Lynda is a 20 yr volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club in Murray, Utah. In her state it is estimated that one out of five children go hungry each day. She saw for herself that these children needed help.

Lynda created KidsEat! a nonprofit that provides these children with backpacks that contact seven meals in them so that the children have sufficient meals all week long. She is currently providing about 50 backpacks to children each week and estimated that this number will increase to 150 by year end.

At 14 he is already a hero

At 14 he is already a hero. He smelled smoke, saw the fire and grabbed a fire extinguisher and ran over to the neighboring apartment. When he saw his disabled neighbor struggling to get out of the apartment, he rushed over and got him out of the building.

The 62 yr old neighbor said his dog was still inside, so he rushed back in and found the dog and brought him outside too. Then to be sure no one else was still inside the building, he went back in a 3rd time calling foranyone that needed help.

Carrie Fisher is a total badass

Carrie Fisher is a total badass. Her recent article in Huffington Post has quote after quote the reflects that.

She says, “Well, I am hoping to get the centerfold in Psychology Today. … Now, it seems every show I watch there’s always someone bipolar in it! It’s going through the vernacular like ‘May the force be with you’ did. But I define it, rather than it defining me.” – that is the thing about any illness we have, YOU define it, don’t let it define you.

The actress, who we will all be seeing in December in the next installment of Stars Wars roles out, has been speaking out on mental illness for more than 10 years — something that was almost unheard of in Hollywood at the time she began. She says, “One of the things that baffles me (and there are quite a few) is how there can be so much lingering stigma with regards to mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. In my opinion, living with manic depression takes a tremendous amount of balls. … At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.” Again, DON’T let any illness define you, be proud of what you can do, despite the illness.

Taylor Swift Pay it Forward

Last year some frat boys totally nailed the Taylor Swift song, Shake It Off. Their You Tube went viral and she said she would get them tickets to her tour in 2015.

Sure enough when she reached Kentucky, they received two tickets each to all of the Delta Sigma Phi – Beta Mu boys.

Now here is the good part, no make that great part. Instead of going to the concert with dates, they donated all of the tickets to the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of the Bluegrass. Truly a pay it forward. The kids had never been to a concert before. Truly something that those kids will never forget. You can see how each of those kids as adults will remember how happy and excited they were, and they will pay it forward when they are older.

These boys are Lemonademakers.

See more:  http://www.wkyt.com/home/headlines/Viral-fraternity-video-leads-to-Taylor-Swift-tickets-for-dozens-of-Kentucky-kids-334913121.html

Have a good night

You are a teenager working at a Ice Cream Pallor and you are taking orders for drive through. You get an order but the woman is obviously crying as she orders a shake.

What do you do? When she came up to the window to pay, he gave her the shake and said it was on him. “Have a good night.”

She took the shake and drives off, with the glimmer of a smile.

Canceled wedding

This is exactly how you turn lemons into lemonade.

The brides parents discover that the groom has cold feet and has canceled the wedding. You have already paid for the reception, and the catering for 120 people. You aren’t going to get that thirty-five thousand dollars back. What would you do?

The bride’s parents went ahead with the reception and invited the Sacramento homeless population to a party. The had salmon, tri-tip beef, gnocchi and all of the fixings to go with it.

Sneaky Cards

Have you heard of ‪#‎Sneaky_Cards‬ yet? The game was originally developed by a 16 yr old Australian for a contest in 2009, and the fans helped to redevelop the game and it is now being relaunched.

Your mission should you choose to accept it, is to become a ‪#‎Secret_Agent_of_Joy‬. You are given cards in which they tell you to do various ‪#‎random_acts_of_kindness‬. You might be told to give the card to the first person that makes you smile. They then pass the card onward to the next person that makes them smile.