Tag Archives forrelationship

Brand New Opportunity

“Nobody is who they are based upon one decision, one day, one path, one chance, one relationship, or one anything else.
Every day is brand new and opportunity never stops knocking.
Who’s there? The Universe”

Have you ever seen how they make bobbin lace on a little pillow? They wind the bobbins around and over and under and across and this beautiful pattern emerges from the threads.

When I read today’s message from the universe that is what came to my mind. How in our lives we have these experiences that happen and those experiences follow a wide range of ins and outs, overs and unders, and what emerges is the complex pattern that is us.

If we could stand back from the small view that we have of ourselves we would see the beauty that is us. But as humans we tend to get stuck in the story of the experience and let one of more of those experiences define who we are and what we are capable of becoming. We become the limitation of the experience.

If you only focused on a tiny piece of the lace twists and turn, it wouldn’t look like anything special. But if you stand back and take in the complete piece of lace, it is an amazing intricate piece of art.

I was in a deep discussion last night with another women, about an experience that she went through lately with another women. I commented that when I saw the nature of their relationship a year ago, I thought that at some point there would be a breaking of the friendship. It was something in the way the other women would look at her, that told me that she wasn’t coming from a healthy place. Sometimes we can’t see the lesson that is coming our way, not until it actually happens.

We were discussing how if you look in the mirror, who don’t really see yourself for who you are, but if you take a photo of yourself and look at it, then you can see yourself clearly. I asked her if she had looked at any video footage of them because I thought that if she did, she would see that look and now recognize what I was talking about. And she laughed because she had actually saw what I saw.

All of these experiences that teach us vital lessons are part of the fabric of the beautiful work of art that is us. Each decision, each relationship, each thing that happens creates another piece of the pattern. Without those twists and turns we would just be a formless pile of threads.

So don’t get caught up in what should have or what could have happened. Be grateful and thankful for each experience. Each of those twists and turns make you a victorious master of you,, and while sometimes it feels as though you are a pretzel you are an amazing piece of art!


“The outcome of any relationship in life is inseparable from the level of awareness of the one entering into that relationship.” – Guy Finley

This past week in my retreat I met some wonderful women. We created relationships that will be fostered by what we experienced together, and by the community that has been created around the program. Most of the time when we meet people through a program we might connect energetically with one or two people.
With this program I believe that all of us established a connection with each other.

As part of the program, we learned to release our resistance to things by paying attention to the energy that we bring with us as we live our lives. When you have resistance and pull the cord of energy that is attached to that resistance, it creates a totally new way of dealing with the “drama of everyday” as things that pop into our lives.

I think that this level of awareness is what Guy Finley was referring to with this quote. I also believe that living life with this level of awareness is illuminating, as you begin to see how the little irritants that we are used to living our life with, can simply be let go. It isn’t necessary to be attached to the story that we tell ourselves about what someone said or didn’t say; what someone did or failed to do; and how it really isn’t all about us at all. Pulling the cord releases the drama and then we can look objectively at the issue at hand and determine how much of the drama was simply created by our own illusions about what something means.

Living with this level of awareness isn’t an easy thing to do, but it is something that we can remind ourselves of everyday. At first we realize what we have done afterwards. Then we pull the energetic cord and forgive ourselves for falling into the illusion again. And if we pay attention, we start catching ourselves right in the middle of the illusion; and then one day we stop ourselves from spinning the illusion right at the beginning. Of course since we aren’t yet perfect we still spin some interesting stories that we will find ourselves pulling cords over, but as time progresses the stories become few and far between.

I think that a good catch phrase is “what does love want this to be?” If we can just remember to ask this before the drama starts, we have the “perfect” level of awareness for every relationship that we enter into everyday of our life.


“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges” – Joseph Newton
I thought that this was an interesting quote because when we meet someone we form an opinion based on how they look, what they might have said and done, etc… Then each time we see them again we look for confirmation of our original judgment; because we are subconsciously wanting to be right in that judgment, so we look to find the facts to make us right.

We are busy building a wall between them and ourselves. We are not looking to build a bridge where we are looking to give them the benefit of the doubt and see what wonderful gifts they are bringing to our relationship. 

We do this with our team members at work; our relatives, and our close friends. We assign everyone a role, maybe your brother can’t hold down a job; your cousin drinks too much; George at work never completes a project on time. The wall that we build holds them in place so that these judgments become self fulfilling prophecies.

When we are around our cousin, we look for evidence of drinking and because we are holding to this judgment, the cousin buckles under the pressure and drinks too much. We don’t trust George to keep up with team assignments and instead of helping him, seeing what we could do to get the ball rolling, etc…, we are harsh and demanding and so George drags his feet because he doesn’t feel wanted, appreciated etc…, and he in turn makes the project late and we are vindicated that once again we are right.

What if we began looking at every relationship for the good qualities that they have and let me know how much we appreciate the talents that they have? What if we began praising instead of complaining. Asking them to show us how they get something done so perfectly? Building little bridges to them so that we can tear down both sets of walls? Think of the wonderful relationships that would blossom from this space!