When I have one of those days

It’s turning out to be a bad day, a day when the sun feels like teeth.

  – Jennifer Egan

Sometimes I have a day where every mistake I made in the past year shows up at my doorstep, all at once. It is overwhelming as they are all vying for my attention. All I hear is the screaming inside my head competing with the screaming happening in the chaos around me.  My self-esteem takes a nose dive, as it scrambles away, trying not to get trampled by the growing crowds of people asking if I know what I am doing?

Never underestimate the power of a good outfit on a bad day.

  – Unknown

What do you do when you have those days? I decide to make snow angels. If I try to shovel my way out, the snow just keeps falling and in a few minutes I can’t even tell where I was shoveling.   It becomes overwhelming and it doesn’t get me out from under the chaos.  We all have this habit of assuming the story our head is telling us is 100% true.  That we are not smart enough, pretty enough, just plain not enough – just a loser with a big L on our foreheads. 

We let the less than 1% of negative overwhelm the more than 99% positive and we start shoveling and digging ourselves in deeper and deeper.

And now, after everything, I know this.  There is a reason I am here, and the reason is bigger than me.  So I will carry on with great faith beyond what I can see, in pursuit of bold courage for the adventure in the journey.  

  – Morgan Harper Nichols

When I have those days, I can’t dig myself out. So rather than beating myself up, calling myself names like loser, screw up, worthless and so on, I choose to go a different path.  I make snow angels. I give myself a forgiveness pass.  I give myself compassion.  I acknowledge that I am only human. I love the Christina Perri “Human” song.  Sometimes “I crash and I break down”. That is the best time to make snow angels.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

  – Dale Carnegie

I loved the Mark Twain quote where he says that 99% of his worries never happened.  So maybe today, what happened was just that it was “the less than 1%” negative day.  Statistically they happen.  When they do, thinking of what good things the future holds for you is also important.  Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet.  What milestones are you looking forward to and what can you do today to bring them closer to reality?

When you think things are bad, when you feel sour and blue, when you start to get mad . . , you should do what I do . . , Just tell yourself, Duckie, you’re really quite lucky!  Some people are much more  . . , oh, ever so much more . . ,  oh, muchly much-much more unlucky than you!

  – Dr Suess

Humor is critically important.  Not thinking so much of yourself is vital.  We tend to blow up whatever has cascaded in our life into Niagara Falls, when in truth it’s a tiny waterfall in a pond.  So when you’re feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there’s someone pushing a door that says pull.  Just visually thinking of someone pushing the pull door makes you smile – doesn’t it?

I testify that bad days come to an end, that faith always triumphs, and that heavenly promises are always kept.

  – Jeffrey R. Holland

Keep a memory book of your good days.  When my kids were little we called them zipity do dah days.  The days when you could be in a Disney cartoon movie dancing across the stage with a catchy happy song.  These are the days to pull out for emergency purposes.  They are like the oxygen masks that drop out of the holder on a plane.  You put them on and you can breathe again.  You can slow down the panic.  You are not dying.  It’s just a bad day and it’s not the end.  Hold on to those good days and the warm feelings they generate, like a toasty fire they will fill you with warmth and peace.  Remember, you are who you choose to be.

When you fall asleep tonight, I want you to think of at least one good thing that has been good today.  It might be difficult and you might think that there’s nothing but, however bad a day has been, there’s always one thing, even if it’s a tiny thing, that has been good, and sometimes it can be helpful to remind yourself of that as you fall asleep.

  – LiveLifeHappy.com

We all tend to let the negative overwhelm the positive in our lives.  When we have a bad day, it is important to instead find the positive in the day and let it balance out the negative. It is the proverbial silver lining in the day of thunder and rain storms.  Even if it is as simple as someone smiled at us, it is there waiting to be picked up so it can shine its light upon us.

Sometimes you need some time alone (except for the company of a tree or a bird) to sit quietly and try to figure things out.

  – Karen Salmansohn

It is amazing how a long walk through nature can help us clear our heads.  Keep walking until the negative mind talked has talked itself out.  Then you have the space to step outside of the rushing river of pity and see what is really there.  Accept where you stepped wrong.  Just let the river carry away the things that don’t belong to you.  The broken branches, tree roots, and miscellaneous garbage that the storm waters pulled into the water.  If it isn’t you today, then let it all go.  Now ask yourself, what positive step can I take to fix what can be fixed, apologize for where I was wrong, and let the past stay where it belongs, in the past.

When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace.

  = Unknown

This is such a simple statement, but the power and wisdom in it is amazing.  If you are letting others shovel snow on you, that is where the first change needs to happen.  You need to own your own breath.  Once you have accepted responsibility for what part of something is yours, then the rest of it doesn’t belong to you.  If you don’t let it go, it steals your peace.  It steals your breath, your life.  So if any area of your life is not peaceful and conducive to making snow angels, you can decide today to stop.  To take back your breath.  To hug tightly to your snow angels and embrace peace.

My To-Do List For Today

  – count my blessings

  – practice kindness

  – let go of what I can’t control

  – listen to my heart

  – be productive yet calm

  – just breathe

Demand your inner voice start listening to what is acceptable in terms of the inner you.  To actually completely engage in a life of self-exploration, you need to get curious.  To ask questions that dig deep into the soul level.  To unravel one thread after another.  If you want to go beyond the surface of answering these questions, join us in our next “Catching The Perfect Wave” online course.  We dive deeply into exploring transformation and listening to our souls voice with weekly group calls to go beyond the simple answers and explore what we all have hiding beneath the surface.

https://lemonademakers.org/wave/

 

Sheryl Silbaugh

I am married with 4 grown children who are all married and currently have 14 grandchildren and two great granddaughters. I work fulltime as a Director at Bank of America and I am the founder of LemonadeMakers.org, which is a website and Facebook page dedicated to personal transformation and growth. We all have life's lemons show up in our life, this website helps us to make them into lemonade.

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