What I love about life is the ability to always make a change. To do something different. To be someone different. It’s all about choice.
There are many people who look at their lives and decide they have no choices. That life is somehow against them. That they can’t be any different. It is the excuse of people who feel hopeless and helpless. But the reality is that you do get to decide how you are going to live your life.
Is this the life
you want to live?
“There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That’s when the real work begins. To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all” – Christina Yang
When you are in the middle of life’s storms it may seem like all of the trees have been blown over. The roots were just not strong enough to keep the tree anchored in the soil. The homes around you may have suffered extreme damage and become uninhabitable. They weren’t maintained or strong enough to survive the hurricane force winds. When every structure you have created in your life has been ripped apart – what then?
That is the moment to notice that you are still here. You may not be standing, you may have been knocked down. But you are not out. It is in this moment of realizing that you have survived that you can take stock of your life. Because it is in this moment you learn that you were strong enough to survive. That you get to decide what happens next.
Is this the person you want to be?
Are these the relationships you want in your life?
Is this the job/career you desire?
Is this the BEST YOU CAN BE?
Can you be stronger?
I’m sure that you have heard the saying “let go and let God”. It is one of my constant reminders to myself. It feels like letting go is easy. It’s sort of like handing over the trouble to someone else to handle. It relieves you of the responsibility of how things turn out. But at the same time it is human to keep the comfort zone the same. So while you are busy telling yourself that you have let go, you are in fact fighting to keep things the same.
“Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. It’s also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to” – Meredith Gray
How do you know if you’re fighting to keep it? You haven’t moved on. Because in order to have a real change in your life, no matter how painful it is, you have to let go and move on. It’s the only way we can continue to grow.
Letting go is a release. If you have the balloons all stacked up and tied together, they aren’t going anywhere. It’s when you let the wind take up the balloon and blow it across the sky until you can’t see it anymore – that’s when you have really let it go. What you are letting go of is not the dream itself, but the version of the dream you were trying to fulfill.
I think it is human to have some really deep seated desires, beliefs, wishes that you know aren’t ever really going to happen. You were raised to believe in fairy tales, in the tooth fairy, or Santa Claus, in the white knight in shining armor that was going to sweep in and rescue you. You told yourself they weren’t real. You thought you had released them. Then something in life happens, and you realize you are still holding out for that forgotten dream.
It’s that kind of faith, in realities not yet beheld, that keeps us going. And once in awhile something comes into your life that gives you hope. The hope that just maybe that thing you are still hoping for, fighting for, might just come true. That you are going to turn the corner and have your breath taken away by the surprise of how it shows up.
“The best thing in life is to go ahead with all your plans and your dreams, to embrace life and to live life everyday with passion, to lose and still keep the faith and to win while being grateful. All of this because the world belongs to those who dare to go after what they want. And because life is really too short to be insignificant” – Charlie Chaplin
I think that sometimes we don’t see it, because we are demanding that it to show up in a certain way. When in reality it has been in front of us all along. It’s like the love story when the boy or girl is looking at someone as being their soul mate, when in reality the best friend they’ve had their entire life is the one. They didn’t see what they already had.
I think that is what new endings are all about. To realize that the fairy tale is just slightly different than what you have been looking for. That the dream is here right in front of you, just waiting for you to see it in its disguise.
“She woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. she realized that opinions were a dime a zone, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket” – Lessons Taught By Life
This year you have some dreams that you are working on. You have some goals that you are struggling with. It might be that you are ready to break out of your comfort zone. To go to that next level in your life. To realize your full potential in your job/career; your personal relationships; your health; financial or spiritual goals. Don’t let them go.
Join us on March 7th and find a new direction to fulfilling your dreams, goals and commitments.
We are just about two months into the new year. Did you make some new years resolutions, goals, plans for this year?
Some people make goals that are giving something up for a limited time or forever. Some people make goals to bring something new into their life. What you discover every single year is that change is hard. And if that change is motivated by will power alone, it will not last.
“In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be” – The Dreamer
So how are you doing on those goals, plans and intentions to change?
What is your definition of progress?
Having 20/20 vision means that we have done the work to see the connections to what we have decided to change and where we are going with our dreams this year. We have spent the time to map out the year so that we can make some actual progress towards those dreams, instead of letting fears and excuses stall our journey.
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place” – Unknown
Instead of hiding who you are, be bold and step out into the world proclaiming “I am here”. Stop hiding your dreams, thinking that way no one can destroy them any further. Learn to trust your heart and listen to it. Give up on settling for what is possible, and demand your part in the dance of life.
“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it” – Unknown
There is only one way to truly know who you are deep down inside. You have to get in touch with your own soul. You need to be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and just listen. Looking back at your life, find the places where you were really happy. Find the things that are so easy for you to do, that others find hard or impossible. Trace back all of the threads that have your name engraved upon them. Start picking out and removing all of the threads that are not you. Look for the gold and silver pieces and toss out the dross. Now look for the patterns that are left.
It is never too late to be who you were meant to be
The threads of genius that are all you, can now be taken up and made into whatever pattern you want. It is never too late to be who you were meant to be. When you make this journey deep into your soul, you will discover that your life can only change by completely shaking it up. You need to remove what doesn’t belong and then figure out how to rearrange what does. It is an individual journey that defines who you are. You can only discover your truth by looking for it down deep within and then integrating it into your life. 20/20 vision is a lifetime adventure. This journey is for you alone. Embrace it and life it fully.
“To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” – Deepak Chopra
So, how do you make this the year that you transform your life? You do it by finding the pattern that you fit into. If you were to read everything about changing your life with new years resolutions, goals and plans that has been published just this month you might find it overwhelming. Everyone has different ideas about what works. What they really mean is what worked for them.
It’s an individual journey, one size does not fit all
What I have found is that it is really all about making the connections to what I am taking away or adding to my life purpose. I pick what sounds right deep inside of me and leave the rest behind. When I do this, it becomes an infinity loop of expending and getting back energy to keep doing the work. I want to share this process with you, so that you too can be like Goldilocks and find the pieces that fit just right.
“The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated. It isn’t true that everyone should follow one path. Listen to your own truth” – Ram Dass
It’s an individual journey and one size does not fit all. Making your dream a reality isn’t easy. It is sort of like having a puzzle that has the same picture that others have, but your puzzle pieces are cut slightly different. You are missing some pieces and so you discover that they are not inter-changeable. Some pieces might fit, but others won’t. So you have to go to a lot of different puzzles to find the missing pieces that will fit. It’s a risk because each piece that doesn’t really fit, becomes a failure on your part.
“. . . it’s a life’s journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else . . . ” – Mariska Hargitay
If you don’t take the risks, make the changes and transform your life, then your destiny will not be fulfilled. In order to make this a little easier I would love to share with you what I have found. It’s a method of taking bits and pieces from all different methods of change and transformation and creating a pattern that allows me to plug in things that work for me.
You decide what methods of change work for you
Register now to get started.
During the call you will have the opportunity to create, find a pivot or two, reimagine and refuel your life dreams. Start moving that needle of change that you have been working on. You decide what methods of change work for you. Only take the pieces that your soul says yes to. This is an ongoing monthly call in which we share strategies, methodologies, ideas and concepts from many thought leaders. You get to share with others what’s working for you and hear what is working for others. We can all learn from each other sharing both successes and failures.
“The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called failure. A loop called confusion. Speed bumps called friends. Red lights called enemies. Caution lights called family. You will have flat tires called jobs. But if you have determination, an engine called perseverance, and a driver called God you will make it to a place called success!” – drostdesigns.com
This isn’t just about a vision board or an accountability partner. It isn’t just about will power or a positive attitude. Make 20/20 be the year that you don’t get overwhelmed and quit. That this time frustration doesn’t get you stuck in the mud of “it’s just isn’t working” and you give up. It’s about getting past the negative mind talk and making real progress towards your dreams. It is about getting on the road of good intentions and actually getting somewhere.
What I know for sure is that we all hit walls of failure, fatigue, and flat tires. It helps us to have a few tricks up our sleeves to handle them so that they just create slowdowns and maybe a few detours, but don’t stop us completely.
Make this your year of shift, change and transformation. Get 20/20 vision, insight and find your missing puzzle pieces. Complete your own puzzle and see the full picture of who you are becoming.
“Sometimes, thing don’t go as planned. Life doesn’t always go the way you hope it will. You can’t plan everything. Life takes you where it wants to – you’re pretty much just along for the ride! Just breathe – Re-Evaluate – Step out of the box – Forgive – Be grateful.” – Namala Lakesh
I believe in plans. But I also believe in being flexible. I believe in taking stock and making constant adjustments. It’s like a sailboat. You are subject to winds and currents, but with the rudder and sails, you have the ability to maneuver into the direction you want to go. Which is why I love the way I plan out my month and year. I make plans and then as life happens I see where I need to make adjustments. To re-evaluate what is really most important in the current time and space to accomplish. That’s why I am sharing this system with all of you. It works!
“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails.” – Elizabeth Edwards
Sometimes things happen in the reverse order of your expectations. The patience comes in because you automatically put expectations on the plans. You visualize them out step by step, and then life happens. You lose you job, the promised promotion and/or raise doesn’t materialize. Someone close to you is faced with a critical medical diagnosis. The money you had planned for vacation now has to go to put in new plumbing. In short, life happens. You need to adjust your sails.
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” – Michael Jordan
Sometimes obstacles are like the monsters under the bed. You hear a noise. Your imagination runs wild. Your heartbeat goes out of control. Suddenly you are screaming. And it was all in your head. Other times they are legitimate. I remember one of the contestants in America’s Got Talent had been a singer, then tragedy struck. She went deaf from a medical condition. She stopped singing and gave up her career.
“Our life doesn’t always turn out the way we planned, but sometimes that’s because what we planned wasn’t suppose to be our life.” – Gdonell
Mandy said in an interview, “I made the mistake of associating my entire identity with one single dream, and when that dream died, I very much felt like I died. I became a husk of a person for awhile.”
“Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes heading in a new direction can be scary until you realize you’re headed toward a new and exciting destination.” – Susan Cole
Then she got an electric tuner and spent 10 hours learning to sing each note perfectly. “I couldn’t believe it”, she says, “My perfect pitch and muscle memory all came together.” Mandy Harvey.
“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.” – Michele Ruiz
Then one day she decided to stop fighting against her dreams and start fighting for them. She began writing her own songs and singing again. She discovered that this real obstacle could be overcome. She discovered that a big chunk of the real obstacle was in her own mind. Singing a song she composed she got sent straight through to the finals on America’s Got Talent. She finished fourth.
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, and let go and see what happens.” – Mandy Hale
If you take a good honest look at your life so far, you will see times where what you had planned fell apart – and that it was a good thing. You underestimated what you were are capable of. You made plans that were far too limiting in regards to your potential. When you let go of the expectation of the plan, and how it should go – and instead learned to feel your way with intuition, amazing things happened.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
You discover hidden talents. You uncover better ways to expand your comfort zones. So when the path you are walking on changes direction, don’t be afraid to keep going. When the sign says “dead end” don’t be afraid to go off the path and create your own. When the wind blows you backwards, grab a tree and hold on. When life challenges you to sit it out, get up and fight to keep moving forward.
“If we can just let go and trust that things will work out the way they’re supposed to, without trying to control the outcomes, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.” – Goldie Hawn
LemonadeMakers is hosting a monthly free class on goals, resolutions, plans – whatever you want to call your means of change and transformation in your life. We discuss on a live Zoom call what is happening that is working and not working. Ideas to try to get us motivated to change and transform our lives. Where we might re-evaluate our plans. How to adjust our sails.
We invite you to join with us the first Saturday of every month. The next class registration is opening today. Come join us! Click on the box to register now.
“A pivot is a change in strategy without a change in vision” – Eric Ries
All around the world people make plans. They set goals. They build on their dreams. Every year brings us some of the same goals and maybe a few new ones. For the majority of us that is as good as it gets. Why? Because sometime in January or February or maybe even March our willpower begins to fade out. We slow down. We procrastinate and put it off for next month. We tell ourselves what’s the hurry? I have all year to get this done.
“How can you see things differently here? Your next level of success wants to know” – Heathere Evans
What if this year you do something unique? What if you pivot instead?
What if you do something different?
“You can only succeed. You cannot fail. Failure is impossible . . , an illusion. . , Nothing. Everything moves the human story. . , forward. Everything advances you on your journey” – Neal Donald Walsh
Thinking back to secondary education (Jr. High, High School or College) did you get assignments done when they were assigned or when they were due? How many late night cram sessions did you have to do to finish a paper that you had weeks to complete but waited until the last minute?
The majority of us were late night crammers. And that is one of the things that leads us to fail in our new years resolutions, goals, and plans. Not fail as in we can’t do it, but fail as in we decide to quit trying to do it. When you make goals with the intention of being accomplished within 12 months, you will delude yourself that you have plenty of time until there isn’t any time, and then you will quit. Why?
When you are out of integrity with yourself it will play out in your life
Because unlike school when you would have failed a class and then been grounded by a parent, you are only lying to yourself. The problem with lying to ourselves though, is that we are then out of integrity with ourselves and it will play out in our life. Every time we say we are going to do something, that negative voice will say – “yeah right – I know that I am not really going to accomplish this, so why waste any time or effort in pretending.”
“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here” – Steve Jobs
This year what if instead of a 1 year plan, why don’t you do something different? Do a weekly plan. You choose how many weeks you want to plan for. 12 weeks is sufficient to work in a new positive habit. For most goals it gives us enough time to plan out how to accomplish it. If the goal needs more than 12 weeks such as education, we can plan out major steps that can be accomplished within 12 weeks.
“A vision and strategy aren’t enough. The long-term key to success is execution. Each day. Every day” – Richard M Kovacevich
Get out your pencil and three pieces of paper, For this exercise I want you to limit yourself to three goals. Write one goal on each sheet of paper.
“How does the WHY relation to the vision” – Simon Sinek
Now write down some steps that would need to happen in order for you to accomplish your goal. As an example, you might want to go back to school to get a degree for a change in your career or to help you advance further in your degree. Since this is probably more than 1 year, plan out 3 steps that can be accomplished within the chosen number of weeks.
“Time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped . . , living with the results of others people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise . . , drown out your own inner voice. . , have the courage to follow your heart and intuition” – Steven Jobs
You must also write down the WHY this goal is important to you. What dream is it helping you accomplish? How do you feel about that dream? What emotions does it create deep inside of you? What is the importance of it to you – not anyone else? If it isn’t pulling you to complete it, it’s not really your goal. Keep digging until you reach that place where the dream hooks you. Then do the following step.
Only list three steps that can be accomplished within the chosen timeframe. Our goals should always be driven to our life purpose. To move forward into who we are meant to be, who we are becoming. Otherwise it is just wasting our time, effort and money.
Always check in with our inner guidance system, and follow where that is leading us. There will always be some positive emotions, some connection – it will lead us if we get quiet and listen and feel for it.
“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle” – Steve Jobs
For a budget goal, you could plan out goals for each pay period. Weekly, biweekly, monthly – according to the time frame your paychecks arrive.
Continue in a similar manner for your third goal. What is so cool about this pivot is that you can play with it to see what number of weeks works for you. The budget goal for example will continue all year long. You will have accomplishments for each time period that you are working through. Celebrate each milestone – it is what fuels you to the next milestone and gets you over the disappointments when life happens and creates havoc in accomplishing our dreams.
“Our vision is actionable only if we share it. Without sharing, it’s just a figment of our imagination” – Simon Sinek
You are invited to a virtual get together. Let’s share some ideas and concepts of how you can make 2020 the year of focus and vision for you. Working together with the synergy of a group, you will learn how to create your own personalized dream map, claim your own unique goals of change and transformation; refine them into goal crushing gremlins; and finally, to truly understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
“If the challenge we face doesn’t scare us, then it’s probably not that important” – Simon Sinek
Click below to get started.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. So take a second and think about what I wrote up above. Did you take out paper and pencil or did you just read through it thinking that you would come back later and do it?
What I also know about myself is that if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. I will answer the questions and get my brain thinking and planning. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Commit to your dreams. Travel down a clear path to your date with destiny.
“Without a vision, where is the focus? ” – Lailah Gifty Akita
Vision tells us our destination. It doesn’t tell us how to get there, it just tells us how we will know when we arrive. Focus is what helps up to do the work to arrive at the destination that vision has uncovered in our heart. Focus is the road to the destination. If we don’t have a vision we can’t have a destination and we will just be wandering, lost in the forest. We will end up going in circles back to where we started. Lost, dazed and confused.
“When you are clear on your vision, it will pull you forward and out of bed in the morning” – Sean McCabe
We have all heard the story of the person who worked at a job for 30 years, retires and gets the gold watch. Then after a short while of sitting at home with nothing to do, they die. They never uncovered their life purpose, their reason for living. They dragged themselves out of bed each day and went to a job that didn’t fulfill them. They never discovered the reason they were born. Instead they punched a time clock day after day, month after month, until the years fled. They never found their way out of the forest.
“Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but by what your mind can imagine” – Ellison Onizuka
Awaken the sleeper
The only way to find that vision, our life purpose is to look for it. It is deep inside our heart. It is connected to the things that we love to do. It’s not about something that happens in some distant future. It is about the quality of choices you are making in your life this moment. It’s about what you choose to see, to perceive, to feel and what you choose to do in this moment of time. The choices that push you to engage in life at its deepest meaning for you. It changes who you are NOW.
“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens” – Carl Jung
It’s a funny thing when one day you wake up to your vision. We might have been wandering in circles for years, looking for that one special person or that title at work that said “I have arrived!”. We might have worked our fingers to the bone for years to find elusive fame and fortune. Whatever we thought was the answer to that longing deep in our heart, once we had it, we discovered it wasn’t it. It was just another circle in the forest. Then one day it happens. We finally realize it isn’t outside of us. It’s not a person, a career, money in the bank, a dream house or car. It is something inside of us that is calling us home.
“Vision is a destination – a fixed point to which we focus all effort. Strategy is a route – an adaptable path to get us where we want to go” – Simon Sinek
Usually what wakes us up is being disillusioned, disappointed, that feeling of having hit rock bottom of bad decisions and failed plans. When we stop fighting the uphill battle, give up and give in – when we are in that spot of finally understanding what it means to “let go and let God” it finally happens. Your heart feels calm, whole and centered. Your soul comes alive and feels truly safe for the first time because finally we are listening to the inner voice.
Listening with your heart and soul
Your vision becomes clear as you climb a high tree and see the way out of the forest of lost causes. You understand the connections to what has happened in your life and how each trial and tribulation, each circle around the forest was teaching you something vital that you needed to learn. Peace with your past, present and future permeates your bones. You see far off the destination your soul is leading you to. You realize the importance of the journey.
The journey has places where you became confused as to what the right choice was – at the same time that confusion is where you learned something new that stretched your comfort zone. The journey was where you were betrayed and broken by someone you thought loved you and would never hurt you – at the same time it was how you learned to heal your heart. The journey lead to lots of frustration as you tried and failed, over and over to learn something critical to your dreams – at the same time those frustrations lead to more authentic decisions based on your own judgment and not someone else’s.
Make the right choice
Even the parts of the journey where the sadness was a deep pit of despair, we learned to listen the heart, hear the words of wisdom of the soul and recover our happiness and joy.
2020 is the year of focus, and vision. Take a look at every goal in the past five years that you have set. Some of them failed dramatically. Some of them didn’t even get lift off before they came crashing down. Some were planned to turn out one way and actually came about 180 degrees in another direction.
Now program your GPS system with your updated vision. Get clear about what it is you want to feel and be open to the feeling and not how or what is going to get you there. Look for signs, clues, and ask for directions. Don’t give up on your dreams. Listen to the voice in your heart and soul. Get back on track to where you are supposed to be.
Have a vision
Believe in yourself
Get out there, own the day
I’m inviting you to a virtual get together. We will share some ideas and concepts of how you can make 2020 the year of focus and vision for you. Learn how to create your own personalized dream map, claim your own unique goals of change and transformation; refine them into goal crushing gremlins; and finally, to truly understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
Your destiny has been calling you to wake up, but your fears create patterns of self sabotage. Those patterns of self sabotage have been trying to put you back asleep. Learn how to stay awake and walk the clear path to your date with destiny.
Just click below to get started.
“If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough” – Unknown
It takes determination when you are knocked down to get back up, but it is only when we have been knocked down that courage enters. It takes courage to face the failure. It takes courage to try it one more time. It takes courage to find failure once more in your face daring you to try again.
Is it failure or part of the divine plan?
In life many things don’t happen the way we plan them. In a lot of cases what seems like failure is actually part of the divine plan. Years ago I walked away from a pretty secure job because I was promised the opportunity for advancement at another company. I took on the responsibility of completing a manual of guidelines for the new company because the person they had hired for it wasn’t getting it done. I had never written anything before other than papers for school. I figured that I could simply expand that knowledge into something new and I did.
Then shortly afterwards the market turned and I was laid off. Because the market had slowed down in Southern California, there weren’t any jobs available and we ended up having to relocate back to the Seattle area for me to find employment. I had berated myself for leaving the previous company; for believing the owner of that new company; for the market turndown. I had beat myself up pretty badly.
An interesting thing happened in Seattle. The Savings and Loan I was hired to work for hired me in the advanced position I wanted. The S&L needed a servicing manual and I had the experience to write it. I was also hired to teach a course for loan processing and underwriting at South Seattle Community College and Renton Voc-Tech. All things I wouldn’t have had the courage or opportunity to reach for if I hadn’t made that job change back in California.
I believe it was all part of divine planning. Can you think of such examples in your own life? Times when what you planned shifted and changed into what you thought was failure, but was actually part of the plan all along?
Of Caterpillars and leaps of faith
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” – Eleanor Roosevelt
It is in seeing the beauty of your dreams that you are able to get back up after you have failed. Finding your life purpose and then bringing it out into the world isn’t an easy journey. While your soul will not give up, your mind is constantly entreating you to give up. Seek the peace of sleep. Take it easy.
“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for” – Oprah
It’s a constant tug of war between mind and spirit. When your soul is inspired it sets you on fire. You find yourself doing things you never would have dreamed it was possible to do. Every negative thought your mind produces is shot down. Like the caterpillar you have the push to transform beyond any understanding.
“Don’t spend time beating on a wall hoping to transform it into a door” – Coco Chanel
Like the caterpillar you learn new skills, building a space in which to transform. That is what goals and dreams are all about – change and transformation.
You have this yearning to be something different from what you are currently being. You have these feelings that you can’t really put words to. You just know that you have to do it. Can you imagine the caterpillar building a chrysalis and then standing back and judging it as not being good enough? That the caterpillar would just turn away and forget the whole transformation thing?
The caterpillar doesn’t care that he has never built anything before. He doesn’t care if it isn’t the perfect shape, or on the wrong branch. He doesn’t care if the wind is blowing it sideways and maybe today isn’t the best day to complete it. He is so involved, that he has gone so far out of his comfort zone, it isn’t even in the same town or state.
He is so involved with using these skills – skills that he didn’t even know he was capable of learning, that he is taking a huge leap of faith. A leap of faith that what he has built, is what it is supposed to look like and feel like. He trusts his divine inner guidance and forges ahead. He trusts that what he is becoming will allow him to transform his outer being in such a way that he will fly.
Where does such trust come from?
You know down deep in your heart and soul that you will never regret giving everything you have to accomplish your dreams. You know that giving your best effort and then digging down to bring up that tiny bit of extra you didn’t know you were capable of will be worth the cost. How do you know this?
“The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Because you see everywhere examples of where other people have done just that. They worked stuff out, no matter the cost. It’s not a one size fits all world. It’s through trial and error that we work stuff out. You have a secret weapon. You figured out that in every single change, rather than judging it as good or bad, you see the possibilities rather than the problem.
That’s what the loss of a job in Southern California and the wonderful opportunities that opened up in Seattle taught me. In every single change, there is a long hallway. A hallway with all of these doors of possibility open and inviting you to step through. That is where is courage comes into play – stepping through the door and into the possibilities.
“Have goals, Chase dreams, but do not let your Happiness depend on their achievement” – Manoj Arora
There is a promise today that we can achieve happiness from living a better life. It might be taking certain herbs, oils or medications. The promise of living a vegan, vegetarian, paleo lifestyle, that somehow having a special diet will make us feel happier. Detoxing from all electronics. Living a simple lifestyle, purging our homes of all the material things others think make them happier. They all promise to somehow give us more energy and therefore more happiness.
You might still buy into that vision of being super woman – the woman that can balance raising children, maintain a pristine “Better Homes & Garden” home, successfully climb the corporate ladder, and still wear the sexy lingerie every night. Who can be the soccer mom, volunteer at school. and bake homemade cookies for the classroom. That mom who schedules and drives to every doctor appointment, after school activity, and social event.
“Sweetheart, marry your goals. Remain committed to success and be loyal to your dreams. It’s okay to choose yourself” – r.h. Sin
Focus on what matters
You are so busy chasing perfection, that happiness when it briefly touches you, it is lost as a momentary endorphin high. With each hit, we immediately start seeking the next one.
“Don’t chase your dreams . . , Instead . . , Hunt your goals” – Preeya
Instead of moving immediately to the next thing on your list, sit on the feelings of happiness. Notice those moments of being grateful, relaxed, and appreciated that come from being happy. Feel it completely. Focus on the joy.
Like taking that first bite of your favorite food, savor the feeling from the top of your body down to your toes. Taking the time to fully experience happiness converts it from a temporary endorphin high to making it a lasting change in your mind and mood.
“She loves – the smell of coffee; blooming roses; and new beginnings” – Unknown
There is this balance of being happy from when you get a raise, and the happiness of completing a complex long term goal. The first one lifts your mood (an endorphin high) – like a favorite song that makes you want to sing and dance. The second one is deeply fulfilling because it was difficult to achieve. The amount of happiness in your life is dependent on the quality of your thoughts.
The question to ask yourself is “what is your definition” of a life well lived? All you will get from chasing perfection is exhaustion. Get curious about what makes you happy? Your current circumstances have nothing to do with your current state of happiness or lack thereof. Ask yourself where your passion comes from? What gives you joy?
“Do not chase another human being. Instead, chase your curiosity. Chase your development and your goals. Chase your passion. Strive to work for something bigger than yourself, and instead of trying to convince someone that you fit within their world – build your own” – Bianca Sparacino
It’s the little things that create a lasting happiness.
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you” – Deepak Chopra
Make your own list of little things that make you happy and include those things with every goal you create. You will find it easier to start each new goal and to build and keep momentum in accomplishing each goal. It’s vitally important to remember that the goals you set are not a final destination.
“There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that comes from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence” – Deepak Chopra
Goals, dreams and visions are a part of the journey, not your final destination. The combination of the quality of goals you set for yourself and how they expand your comfort zone creates who you are becoming. It is the self knowledge that each experience reveals to you that tells you where you are on your journey of self knowledge. It is walking in the direction of your life’s purpose that brings in lasting happiness.
I invite you to join us on February 1st for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement.
Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
Instead of just thinking “I could do this” come and find out just how much you can do, confront your deepest fears. Stop playing small. Shine out in all of your brilliance. Give yourself permission to be all that you can be in 2020.
“If you can tune into your purpose and really align with it, setting goals so that your vision is an expression of that purpose, then life flows much more easily.” – Jack Canfield
There is a dream that you had as a child. It was a persistent dream. It was a longing that would not be denied. Maybe you went for it and failed. Or maybe you were too scared to even try. Or maybe you had the “one hit wonder” and then faded away, too afraid that you could never repeat or even surmount the dream. That dream contained your purpose. How it was fulfilled was your vision of what it could be.
“Focus on your own happiness, focus on your own life, focus on your own vision.”– GreatestQuotes.net
My dream was to write.
I did well in school. I loved learning. I would read 6-7 books a week. I would check out the maximum number of books every week and read them all. My family was always moving somewhere new. Until my Freshman year in high school I didn’t attend any complete grade in one school. So books were my best friends and my escape. And every single book I read, I would say to myself, “I could write this book. Maybe even write it better than the author did.”
“Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you are to your comfort zone.” – Peerhustle.com
The problem was while I told myself that, the doing of the actual writing was outside of my comfort zone and I was terrified that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was. The fact that I got straight A’s and was in honors didn’t overcome the fears. In fact it magnified them. In my mind I was sitting on the pedestal and if I actually tried to write a book, I would topple off the pedestal and be subject to ridicule.
“Don’t try to overhaul your life overnight. Instead, focus on making one small change at a time. Over time, those small changes will add up to big transformation. Don’t give up!” – emilysquotes.com
So I dreamed of writing year after year and fed my purpose a starvation diet of book after book that someone else who was smarter and braver wrote while I just dreamed about it. I believe that God plants your purpose inside of you. It never goes away. I believe that door after door of opportunity comes you way to express it to its full potential. I believe that the ups and downs of life itself are generated in such a way to try to coax you or force you to take up your dream and live it.
“A vision of a desired future allows you to engage and identify immediately in your focus with an improved condition. It changes what you perceive and how you perform – NOW. It’s not about achieving something in time. It’s rather about the quality of choices you are making in this moment – what you choose to perceive, feel, and do. It’s about getting the most out of your experience.”– David Allen
I believe that at least one of the New Year’s Resolutions or goals that you set – are a part of your life purpose.
When my nephew was murdered I was forced through the door of writing. I didn’t really understand what was happening at first. By the time I realized that I had committed myself to writing LemonadeMakers I had literally changed my world. All my goals before that were about changing myself to make other people happy. Lose weight and be healthy for my family. Climb the corporate ladder so that my family would be secure financially, and so on.
“Focus on where you want to go instead of the obstacles in your path. Drive and persistence will take you to your desired destination.”– slideshare.net
Now all of a sudden, the question that I was asking was,
“Who do I need to be to make LemonadeMakers be what it is supposed to be? What do I need to learn? What habits do I need to bring into my life? Who can help me?”
It is such a unique space of focus away from fear of not being loved if I wasn’t giving all of me to my family or job – to the space of how can I help others find this place seeing “what else is possible”? It is kind of funny when I finally understood that giving all of me to my family or job was from fear and not love. And now I am finally living most of my time from love and not fear. Fear still shows up, disguised as self sabotage. Then fear is shown to the door, when once again I recognize it for what it is.
Somewhere in your goals that you are setting for 2020 is a part of your life purpose.
It is the thing that you dream about when your mind wanders. What is it that you do, that is similar to my inside my head comment when I was reading a good book. What is your version of a “I could do this”? Think about the thing that pops into your head, that is immediately discounted by your negative self talk. There is something there to explore and understand more fully.
That “thing” will keep showing up month after month, year after year, decade after decade. That idea or concept will not leave you – it can’t. It will keep haunting you, until you are expressing it to its fullest potential or you have died with the dream still unfulfilled within you. So take a leap of faith. Be brave.
We are going to explore some ideas outside of the box on how to start living our dreams. We are going to dig into our goals and expose the root systems to see how they connect to our life purpose. It is more than a dream board. It is more than writing the dream out on paper. It is more than a calendar full of appointments and meetings and blocking out time to implement what needs to be done and when you will do it. It is more than a single leap of faith or five baby sets of doing something.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light. . , that most frightens us. . , ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ . . , who are you not to be?. . , Your playing small does not serve the world . . , We are all meant to shine. . , as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson
I invite you to join us on February 1st for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement. Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
During the call you will have the opportunity to create, find a pivot or two, reimagine and refuel your life dreams.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Instead of just thinking “I could do this” come and find out just how much you can do, confront your deepest fears. Stop playing small. Shine out in all of your brilliance. Give yourself permission to be all that you can be in 2020.
“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more” – Rosabeth Moss Kanter
When you are living a life on purpose, what does that really mean? You see yourself on a journey to accomplish something that is important to you. Say for example that you want to run a marathon. You set a goal of getting up every morning at 4 AM to run before you go to work.
“Your entire life journey ultimately consists of the steps you are taking at this very moment” – S. Williams
Now you and I know that there are going to be mornings when you don’t want to get out of bed. When you promise yourself that you will just sleep in this one time and that you will run when you get home instead. But of course when you get home you have so many things to do that evening that you are too tired to run.
When your will power runs dry, what then?
Your actions will always, be 100% congruent with your thinking. So if you set a goal to run a marathon, and you set up a plan of how much running you must to do in order to complete the marathon – yet you find yourself not getting up at 4 AM as planned, then your thinking is not congruent with your goals.
“You have to have a lot of passion for what you are doing because it is so hard . . , if you don’t, any rational person would give up” – Steve Jobs
You need a change of thinking. You need a breakthrough. A breakthrough is a natural result of a shift in your thinking. You suddenly connect past, present, future into a thought that sheds light on something you never saw before. When you have a breakthrough it feels as though the DNA in your body has changed every single cell. Like one moment you knew who you were. Then the next moment you are someone totally new. You realize that you can never go back to what you were before.
“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion” – Simon Sinek
Shifting your mindset can create opportunities that you never imagined were possible. Many times it happens when you run out of ideas. When you hit the wall. When you finally let go, and let God. It clarifies and simplifies everything. It’s like the spot light appears out of the darkness and shows you the way home. You become more of who you are supposed to be.
Become more of who you are supposed to be
“Awareness is not a giver of solace – it is just the opposite. It is a disturber and an awakener” – Robert K Greenleaf
It is kind of funny what happens when you wake up and become aware of how simple life can really be. You are full of plans to run the marathon. You are taking action. Then something happens, and everything changes. Do you give up? Do you throw in the towel? Or do you do something outside the box? Something risky – something you’ve never tried and aren’t really sure can work?
Your “WHY” is what creates a compelling vision for your life of purpose
How does your “WHY” relate to the vision you have created? Your “WHY” is what creates a compelling vision for your life of purpose. It will clearly capture and establish an emotional connection to keep you on purpose to your vision. It gets you up at 4 AM excited to go running, even in the rain or when you are just too tired to even press the snooze button. Your “WHY” is the means to get you to the end result – running in that marathon.
“Success is when reality catches up to your imagination” – Simon Sinek
Around 20 years ago, in the month of January, my middle son got engaged. They set the date to get married in August. I was so happy for them. I wanted to pay for their dream honeymoon. I contacted the travel agent they were working with and got all of the details. I sat down and planned it out exactly how I could pay for it.
“Hold the vision. Trust the process” – Unknown
A couple of weeks later they decided to move the date to May. I was devastated. I could see no way to pay for it in time. I decided to try something new I had learned about at a real estate seminar. I sat down and wrote out a letter expressing how happy I was that I could pay for their honeymoon. How they had the best time at their dream destination.
“Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world” – Joel A. Barker
About two weeks later I got a phone call out of the blue about 10 acres that we owned in rural Upstate New York. The neighbors across the street wanted to purchase the property for cash and they were ready to close it immediately. We settled on the price and two weeks later I had the exact amount needed to pay for the honeymoon.
Want to learn how to do the same thing?
How did this happen? I created a compelling vision of what I wanted to do. Not how it would get done. I captured all of the emotions involved in being able to do this for my son and his new wife. It created an emotional connection to my vision. It opened doors I didn’t even know existed. Want to learn how to do the same thing?
“If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you” – Steven Jobs
Just click below to get started.
During the call you will have the opportunity to create a letter connecting your emotions to your life purpose goals for 2020.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Click below and commit to your dreams. Turn your breadcrumbs into a clear path to your date with destiny.
Imagining what we want next year is a far more powerful way to face the future than imaging what we fear.
– Marianne Williamson
Part of the process of planning out your dreams, goals, and visions of a better life is looking back to see what you have done so far. Where is your comfort zone today and what growth to it happened in 2019?
What you are capable of achieving is determined by your talent and ability. What you attempt to do is determined by your motivation. How well you do something is determined by your attitude.
– Lou Holtz
Part of my own growth was creating a pilot program with an opportunity for a scholarship to attend it. I combed through my old journals, things I had studied and notes from other peoples programs I have attended, to come up with some questions to get people to talk a little about their own hopes and dreams. I believe that we already know what needs to be done – that the questions we ask, already have answers deep inside of us. That those answers have been waiting for us to be able to accept them as truths, and that timing is everything. If you are reading this then I believe that the time for you is now.
I believe that sometimes we need someone else to ask the questions that send us searching for our own personal truths. The door is waiting for us to open it, and sometimes we just need to hear the invitation one more time. That time is now.
Part of the process of self transformation is learning more about who we are.
In order to think or live differently, we need to understand our own life patterns. There were some answers to the questions in the scholarship application that revealed some common patterns. Almost everyone had thought in the past twelve months about big life changes – such as moving some place new to them; finding a different job. This indicated that they were unhappy enough in their life to contemplate changing everything.
A vast majority wanted a better life in order to give back something good to the world. I loved this, because even though they have some pretty big issues they were dealing with in their lives, they wanted something better not only for themselves, but to help others too.
They wanted to be better spouses, parents, better people. These are all roles that we play in our lives. It is normal to want to be the best, but sometimes we are so busy putting out the fires in our lives that we are too exhausted to put in the work it requires to be the best we can be. To master the important things in our life. The experts say it takes 10,000 hours to become a master of something – a master chef, a master wood carver, a master of anything. Who has 10,000 hours to put into one thing?
Some of the applicants had just completed or were going through a divorce. When you have a major transition take place in your life, like a death, divorce, or job loss, it becomes a time to take stock of who you are and where you are going. Many times these transitions take away the thing we thought we were. When the kids leave for college, how do you transition to an empty nester? When you retire from your job, who are you now?
Around 50% of those who responded had problems in the past or were working towards sobriety and ending addictions. There is not only living with the label of addict, there is a load of personal issues to work through because most of us who have some sort of addiction used it as a coping mechanism for our lives. The problems we were running away from didn’t disappear just because we tried to. How do we reconnect with who we are, accept it, work with it and transform it, all while dealing with all of our other problems?
The answers to the questions told me that most of us are looking to make big changes in our lives, we just need a little help to get started, and a little motivation to keep going and not let fears stop us.
Life presents you with so many decisions. A lot of times, they’re right in front of you. Come join us and see how I created my own 20/20 vision for myself and for what I want to accomplish with LemonadeMakers for 2020. Learn how to create your own personalized map, claim your own unique goals; refine them; learn how to understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
It’s not just about writing some words on a piece of paper. It’s not just about creating a vision board and then waiting for the “magic” to draw in what we want in our lives. We are going to brainstorm our way, map out the detours around the obstacles, and fully implement your plan.
Just click below to go to a google form to collect your contact information so I can send you how to get on our Zoom call. I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
What I know for sure is that we all hit walls of failure, fatigue. Life happens not to us, but for us. I know that sometimes it feels like we are getting hit with a sledge hammer. It helps us to have a few tricks up our sleeves to handle them so that they just create slowdowns when the rain or snow is coming down so hard and fast we can’t see. And maybe a few detours around washed out roads or bridges. Just don’t give up and stop completely. In the movie Star Man with Jeff Bridges there is a line about yellow lights when they are driving down the road. “Starman: I watched you very carefully. Red light, stop; green light, go; yellow light, go very fast.”
Click below and let’s all learn to “go very fast”.
Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe.
– Sumner Redstone
If you have been following our posts for some time, you probably know the story of why I started writing my blog. My nephew Carl was murdered in a random act of gang violence, literally walking through the park at the wrong time. As you can imagine, this took a toll on our family. In addition to grieving over his death, I was concerned about my sister making it through this tragedy. I started writing through my own grief for both of them on my personal Facebook page and it took on a life of its own.
Persistence can change failure into extraordinary achievement.
– Matt Biondi
After a couple of years I created LemonadeMakers – because when life gives you lemons, you need to make lemonade. At least I did. Every part of life is full of choices. You can choose to hide in the negative or dig for the positive. Sometimes it seems like we don’t have a choice, but we always do. It feels like we are so sunk down into the mud, that mud is all we can see. We then miss the dry ground, the doors that we could open. The chance for a different choice or response, to what is happening.
All I knew was that I had to bring something good and positive and life affirming to the table for myself and my family. Then as I cleaned the mud off of me, I saw the need to bring this to others, because we are all going through something. Maybe not as tragic or violent as my nephews murder, or maybe something even more so. So a dream was born that just maybe I could help others, inspire them to make their own brand of lemonade.
Love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort and keep on learning.
– Carol Dweck
As LemonadeMakers has grown, so have I. It has challenged me to work on my writing skills. Believe me, I have heard from many readers when the grammar is incorrect, or the misspelling made it through spellcheck. I think I have proof read something 10 times, and then I am reading an old post and see something that I missed. It has helped me grow a thicker skin, and let go of the need for perfection and so many other lessons.
Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
– Joshua J. Marine
2019 has come to an end and I wanted to talk about how you keep going, growing, and expanding your comfort zone from day to day. In 2019 my birth father died and I had to let go of the dream I have had for over 55 years – that some day he would call me and tell me how much he loved me and wanted to be a part of my life.
I have been caring for my bonus father (I don’t like the step part of any label, as though it is less than the real thing) and his health has been steadily deteriorating this year and he has been in and out of the hospital. He is starting to lose brain function and it breaks my heart.
This August we found out that my husband of 46 years has prostrate cancer. It is outside of the prostrate and so surgery isn’t an option and he is starting radiation therapy. He was a long haul truck driver, so he had to retire a little sooner than we were planning on.
The entire year I have been working month to month, each month waiting to hear if this is the month I get laid off work. I have worked for the bank for 15 years and they keep extending the lay off, and they also keep telling me it is coming.
Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of success.
– Arianna Huffington
When you add this year up, it has pretty much sucked. I am sharing this with all of you for a couple of reasons. I know that I am not the only one that had things go sideways in her life this year. I think it helps when you know you are not alone in walking and sometimes crawling through life’s storms. I also wanted to share with all of you some of the great things that happened this year, the times when the storm clouds parted and the sun shined for a brief moment reminding me that storms don’t last forever.
Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. But it is the ability to resist or use failure that often leads to greater success.
– J.K. Rowling
I stepped out and made a video about “Catching the Perfect Wave”. I tried to do a couple of webinars, which failed dramatically with no one or only a couple of people attending. I discovered my own way of doing things, rather than just following in someone else’s steps of how things should be done. I learned a lot and really expanded my comfort zone around talking and teaching with groups of people.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts.
– Winston Churchill
I created a pilot program about transforming your life. It centered on the first ring of the Transformational Life Compass, which is all about the labels we live our lives around, the archetypes in our personalities and how to see how we are sometimes our own worst enemy in self sabotaging our life. We granted scholarships to 22 people and while everyone didn’t show up and some didn’t finish – I think it was a great success. The full program will start in February and I am really excited about the life transformations it is going to create to those brave enough to come and join us.
Important achievements require a clear focus, all-out effort, and a bottomless trunk full of strategies. Plus allies in learning.
– Carol Dweck
I think that 2020 is going to be a turning point year for a lot of us. I love the thought of 20/20 vision, focus that is crisp and clear. The ability to see both near and far without fog distorting the images. So how do we take all of the lessons of 2019, the good, bad and ugly experiences and build on that foundation something even better?
The only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.
– Michelle Obama
For the start of the year, to give us all 20/20 insight and vision of what we can accomplish in this brand new year, I am designing a workshop. It will give all of us working together the tools of how to plan out the new year. What to do when the lemons start falling off the tree and hitting us in the head.
There is a military proverb that says something like “in war the battle plans only survive until the battle begins”. Every year we make goals or resolutions to make changes in our life. It might be for health, or education, a better job, working on our marriage, raising children, buying our first home and so on. Those goals or dreams seem to survive the first month or two of the year and then they morph into something unachievable and unrecognizable.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking.
– Brian Tracy
With everything going on with my job, my husband, and my dad, I could put my dreams for the next step for LemonadeMakers on hold. I could put my entire 20/20 focus on these very important personal things in my life. I could just let LemonadeMakers struggle along until my personal life got easier. I put my writing on hold for too many years. I refused to do that in 2019, and I won’t do that in 2020. I am in a marathon and there comes a point in running where if you keep going, you break through into a new level. I want to share with you how I did this in 2019 and how I plan on it in 2020.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
So stay tuned tomorrow for Part Two, to read about some of the tools I use and that you can use too – I can’t wait to share everything with you!
And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this! And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.”
– Ian Thomas
What we all need to realize, is that the lights of the passing ships are mere distractions preventing you from living your life to the fullest. They are the battles that you fight each day, but which do not lead us anywhere. When we honestly realize how asleep we are in our lives, those are the moments when you can begin to challenge the ongoing distractions and bring focus back to the stars – the lights of our true destination.
In a world deluged by irrelevant information, clarity is power.
– Yuval Noah Harari
It’s like someone has set up a circus tent in front of us. You hear the chaos of the music and the shouting barkers telling you about what’s happening in their tents. You hear the shouts and screams of people as they spin and circle and go up and down on the rides. You smell the funnel cakes and cotton candy and popcorn. Bright lights spin on the games as they encourage you to step up and try your luck. So many distractions that you can’t hear yourself think. All of the bright shiny objects promising you the moon, if you just come nearer and pay attention to them. It is a constant battle for your attention. Who wins? The one you pay attention to.
It is those who concentrate on but one thing at a time who advance in this world.
– Og Mandino
I love to ride the roller coaster. To watch the performers with the animals. To see the daring artist high up on the trapeze dancing across the wire. There are lots of fun and exciting things that we can do in our life. What we have to decide is are they part of our goals and dreams, or are they just fun distractions that keep us occupied, distracted. Are they keeping us occupied so that we are not making the changes and transformations that we need to make in order to achieve the life of our dreams? Are they fun things that we should be saying “no” to?
The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.
– Bruce Lee
Are we living our life with laser-like focus? I always think of Bruce Lee when he is in his stance about to engage with someone in battle. He doesn’t hear the sounds around him. He doesn’t see the bright shiny objects trying to distract him. He see’s only one thing – the man in front of him that he’s about to engage in battle with.
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust
Remember the movie City Slickers? Remember Curly, Jack Palance’s character? I love his famous line –
“Curly : Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly : This.
Mitch : Your finger?
Curly : One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.
Mitch : But, what is the “one thing?”
Curly : [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.”
When you are pursuit of the “that one thing”, then the rest of the world fades away. We don’t see the lights of the passing ships – we are laser focused on that star – that bright shining light in the night sky. We no longer wander through the circus seeking distractions. Now we are traveling for fulfillment. We are seeing the world with new eyes. New eyes that are open for the first time to the many doors of potential and opportunity that we missed when we were being distracted by the circus.
But I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything
– Alan Watts
That is kind of what the movie City Slickers was about – those men had gone asleep to what was important in their lives. They were living by distraction, not laser-like focus. The meaning of life can be found in many things if we are awake and looking for it. It tends to show up when we are out of our normal element. Going off on a day trip to the mountains, the beach, the desert. Away from the day to day of our life. Away from the distractions that follow us around.
Be addicted to your passions, not your distractions.
It is when we can get quiet that a connection is possible. We finally see the truths we have been avoiding with the distractions. We discover that the thread of destiny in our life, is where the laser-like focus really begins to take shape. That “thing” that we not so much latch on to, as it latches on to us. We are pushed, pulled, and prodded until finally we realize that we have no choice – we have to live the life that brings our destiny into fulfillment.
Tomorrow becomes never. No matter how small the task, take the first step now!
– Tim Ferriss
If like the character in City Slickers you don’t know what that “one thing” is, go find it. Go somewhere quiet without any of the normal distractions in your life. Sit and think about your life. Dig up all of your old dreams that you abandoned as not being possible when you failed the first time. Reconnect with your passion, the thing that liberates your energy and your spirit. The thing that inspires hope in you again. When you find it, do everything in your power to stay connected.
In life, people tend to wait for the good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out.
– Neil Strauss
Let the circus roll on by. Don’t stop for the Carmel Corn or the Hot Dog. Don’t go on the rides, or play the games, or watch the circus clowns climb in and out of the clown car. Keep your eyes on the stars, and not the passing ships lights. Clarity, focus, making things happen. That’s how you keep your eyes on your stars. Ignore the circus as it shouts to you about what it thinks is so important. Once you understand your own destiny, your secret of life, don’t let that connection go. Remember that the best view comes after the hardest climb.
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