The Gift Of Self Transformation
Transformation gives you the chance to rewrite the story of who you are and who you are capable of being. There are many things in our life that we give negative meanings to. But what if you gave pain the definition that it shows you that which is not right for you? This would be a positive thing to know – what doesn’t belong to me or my life. It is hard to leave something or someone behind you, to let them or it go. It is hard until you decide to do it. Then it becomes easy. It isn’t the leaving that is hard, it is the decision.
Envy is another word that has a bad rap. What if envy simply shows you things which you may wish to empower in your own life? That would be a great thing to know – things I want in my life and can empower myself to obtain. In our lives we have the habit of settling. We settle with that 10 lbs of weight that we can’t seem to lose. We settle with our job, thinking what we have is better than nothing. We settle, settle, settle, because the reality is that we don’t know what we really, really want.
I am always stuck. I am always stuck between giving people everything because I am dying to create meaningful relationships, and giving them nothing at all because then if they leave, at least I’ll be left whole.
– (via yoymenoyhoy)
Transformation comes when we are totally honest with ourselves. It comes when we face the things that we don’t want to face. It comes from taking responsibility for all our actions and inactions. It comes when life forces us to look at what we are doing, when our WHY we need to change becomes an imperative. There is a game that we can play where we write down a series of things that we want in our life (write down as least 25, and try for more). Then we pick two and ask, which one is more soul catching? The one we don’t pick is scratched off. Then we take the next two and so on until we just have the ones left that we picked. Then we do the same thing to that list, and we continue with this process until we only have three left.
It is not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power.
– Robert T Kiyosaki
Those three things are what pulls most on our hearts and souls. Now comes the transformation part. Who do we need to become, to draw those things into our life? What fears do we need to face down? What action steps do we need to take? Who do we know that can help us?
The greatest gift that we can ever give ourselves is self transformation. We all have scars both interior and exterior. Like road maps they tell a story of the journey that we have been on. The scars from being uprooted, of moving away from friends and family when you were a child. The scars of being bullied, both by others and by our mean selves. The scars of falling down. The pain of getting back on our feet.
Some of these scars are healed, and they are barely visible. They tell a story that we have transformed from a scary movie or nightmare of desolation, into a comedy in which we star. We can touch those scars, remember and still smile. But others still need to be healed, to be transformed. When we touch them, it is like touching a hot stove. The pain is barely tolerable. Even though that scar looks healed from the outside, inside the pain still lingers.
That is where self transformation is the gift. We can go into the chrysalis and heal. We need to look at the space of where we are honestly. Then look at the space of what it is we want in our life. Then instead of becoming lost in the space of longing, we transform it into the space of an inspiring journey. The bridge is built by our being willing to give up the pain, to let it go. To transform it into something beautiful. To gift it with wings of color, patterns of joyous beauty. To let it take flight and leave us.
One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.
– Brigitte Nicole
The being that is forming in a chrysalis is no longer a caterpillar. For the Butterfly the past is truly a place of reference. It can no longer live there, because that body is gone. Within the chrysalis the caterpillars body literally melted into goo, and then formed a totally new body. As the butterfly’s body grows into its new shape, it becomes cramped as the wings want to expand out. It isn’t a place of residence for the butterfly, so it has to break loose and spread it’s wings and find a new home.
I tell you this to break your heart, by which I mean only that it break open and never close again to the rest of the world.
– Mary Oliver
The butterfly had to break out of the old place of residence and begin a brand new journey, where everything is experienced for the first time. It must break open its heart to begin this journey, because it has to trust its intuition for flying, for finding food, for making a new home. Literally everything for the butterfly is a brand new experience.
…, something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart – a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.
– Marianne Williamson
Transformation is a scary business. Because I am a perfectionist, I hate doing something new for the first time. I am doing the best I can with my posts, knowing that I will have spelling errors or grammar mistakes in my writing. I can proofread this a dozen times and the minute I publish I find something I missed. Sometimes when I am reading an old post, I will find more than one missed error and it taunts me. Can you hear it? Neener, neener, neener, you can’t catch me?
I am living with being imperfect in order to just get the post out there. If you are a grammar queen or king, and see something in these posts that is an error, please don’t just tell me how my writing drives you crazy when you see the errors. Please tell me what it is that needs to be corrected. I am just a lowly knave doing the best that I can. I am open to correction.
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
– Steve Jobs
If we just do what we know, then we confine ourselves to remain the same. It is striking out into the unknown, trying new things, doing things differently that allows us to be free to grow into who we are meant to be.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That’s why we call it The Present.
– A.A. Milne
A Courageous Conversation?
Are you brave enough to speak out loud the conversations that you have inside of yourself late at night when you are all alone?
- How do we have a courageous conversation about the tragedy’s we have faced in our lives? Some things just seem too devastating to turn from a negative to a positive experience.
- How can we be honest with ourselves and others, around such things as overcoming addictions or similar problems?
- What if we are trying to make positive changes in our lives, and we have “no one” in our lives to support us in making a life changing transformation?
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