Category Archives for Journey

Winter-Sorrowful, Spring Is Coming

Last week I went to my birth fathers funeral.  He died of complications of dementia.  I hadn’t seen him in years.  My parents divorced when I was four years old.  Despite all of my wanting him to be a part of my life, it just never happened.  Many reasons, excuses and stories – too many to go into here.  What I wanted to talk about from my own experience is the feelings of being a child of divorced parents.

For me it was very painful because I blamed myself for the divorce.  I thought it was something I did.  Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, there are probably a lot of people in the world who grew up like me, thinking that they somehow caused the divorce.  I didn’t realize that I believed this until I had kids of my own.  Lots of self analyzing and trying to figure out where my self sabotage patterns originated revealed it to me.  My adult self knows that it isn’t true.

My dad like a lot of fathers remarried another women with children.  They became his family as is right.  Unfortunately, my stepmother didn’t return the favor and the few times I went to their home it was clear I wasn’t wanted.  It was clear as a child, as a teenager and as an adult when I visited with what should have been her grand-kids, we were not welcome.

So my dad and I became completely estranged.  It broke my heart.  For me at least, I always wanted my dad to say he wanted me in his life, and then to try to make that happen.  I had the fantasy that once I was an adult and he didn’t have to deal with my mom, that he would show up and be the dad I always wanted.  I didn’t realize how much of that fantasy was lying beneath the surface until I found out he had died.

Wintercearig is a Norwegian word meaning winter-sorrowful describing that feeling of deep sadness comparable to the cold of winter.  I think that the death of the fantasy was harder than his physical death.  I solaced my heart that he had dementia, so there were probably close to 10 years that he didn’t remember me.  Grief is a slippery animal though.  It comes and goes when you least expect it.  I know he wasn’t a happy man, and I know how hard my mother could be for him.  I just wish it could have been different, and that they could have put aside their own pain for my sake.

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.

  – Albert Camus

I am working my way through winter of my loss.  Part of that process is to pull out the gold from the dross.  To find the invincible summer in my story.  To make Lemonade from the lemons.  My disappointments in my childhood and the letting go of the fantasy as an adult are part of who I am.  I can talk to this with total compassion, because I have been there.  I learned to appreciate the good qualities that my mom and dad had, and let go of the expectations that they would ever become who I wanted them to be.

To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold.

  – Aristotle

Pain has a lot of lessons to teach us.  I remember years ago I was talking with one of my sister in-laws about forgiveness.  She stated that if her husband ever had an affair that she would never forgive him.  That she would divorce him.  I told her that with big decisions in life, we think we know what we would do.  But until that moment arrives it is all speculation. The reason for that is how connected everything is.

It isn’t just that someone had an affair.  You would have to look at all of the circumstances around what happened.  There are so many things in your relationship with your partner, what is going on at work, with the larger family – what are the stresses of life that weighed in on someone so that would do something that would destroy their life?  When something this devasting happens and you look at all of the possible choices you have to face, many times we do not do what we thought we would.  You have to stand out in the cold, and really look at every single crystal of the snowflake to make a decision.  Like the snowflake, the breaking of the marriage bond is different for every couple with no two alike.

The future lies before you, like a field of fallen snow;  Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

  – Unknown

My experiences in life gave me a little bit of a soapbox in regards to fathers who don’t see their children.  The damage it causes those children affects them every day of their life.  Many of us don’t realize how much, until something happens that brings it to the surface.  I had thought I had given up the fantasy of my dad showing up on my doorstep one day, saying “I love you and I want you to be part of my life”.  It was still apparently a running program in the background, taking up energy.

So if you are divorced and you aren’t connected with your children, make the sacrifice to do whatever it takes to be a part of their lives.  Just show up, with no excuses.  With no blame, except to say “I’m sorry”.  It may take awhile before they trust you again, because even if you didn’t mean to, you broke their heart.  But if you put in the effort and keep trying, eventually they will open the door.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.  You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain.  When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in.  that’s what this storm’s all about.

  – Haruki Murakami

When I am processing pain, grief, sadness, I write.  This is something I am still working on, but I wanted to share the work in progress.

Maybe you are like me, a daughter or son, who just wanted to be told that they were loved, that they weren’t a mistake that could just be thrown away, that they were proud of who you became.

Maybe like me you just wanted them to show up at your door and say Hi.

A note for my Dad

I learned to say goodbye at an early age

To hear “love you, see you soon” knowing in my heart it wasn’t true

Looking out of the back window of the car as mom drove me away

Silent tears wishing I was still with you

 

It’s a broken road my mom and dad have made

I’m tired of feeling disloyal loving you both, being torn between you two,

I feel my frailness crumble as you both pull me apart

My heart is torn, broken with your hammers beating it to pieces

 

Years go by with a few hours here and there

Visits so short they can’t even be remembered

How many times I reached out to you

Only to hear the deafening silence.

 

The sharp thunder of glaciers breaking up and falling into the ocean

The cold became the color of blinding whiteness

I waited for the your presence, the phone call, the letter, anything

To hear you say “I’m here and I love you.”

 

Deep sadness covers me like a layer of snow

Leaving my heart cold, pain frozen into arctic ice

Daddy why did you die and leave me alone

Never to hear those words, “love you, see you soon” fulfilled?

 

I think I will miss you forever, since we never got to say goodbye

Wishing you had been a constant presence in my life didn’t make it happen.

The gift you gave me in passing me by in forgetfulness,

Is seen daily in my being a part of my own children’s lives

 

Imagination Takes Me Everywhere

 

Logic will get you from A to B.  Imagination will take you everywhere.

  – Albert Einstein

Imagination is directly or indirectly where our expectations of life originate.  We take a goal and make a plan.  We see into the future possibilities.  We attach meaning and purpose to a particular way we “see” the goal being accomplished.  Imagination is how we come up with the plans in the first place.  It is what enables us to make anything possible, anything happen.

The imagination is the golden pathway to everywhere.

  – Terence McKenna

One of the danger signs on the road of our imagination is that we project meaning into everything that happens.  Now if we are projecting good, positive meanings to what is happening, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  However, many times what we are projecting is suffering into what is happening.  If someone sent you a text message that said, “boy, what a day I am having”.  What’s the first thought that comes into your head?  Without the emotion in the voice or cues from body language, where does your mind go first – to something great is happening in their day or something horrible is happening to their day?

Reality is something you rise above.

  – Liza Minnelli

We need to constantly ask ourselves, what am I busy painting onto the canvas of my imagination?  There are no rules to what I decide to paint.  If I think that I can only be successful if my view of my current reality is matching to what I imagined my life would look like, then I am going to be doomed to disappointment.  How many times have I whined in my head, “but this isn’t how it’s supposed to be?”  How can I rise above what I perceive to be my reality, to what I am trying to create in my life?

Imagination is the most marvelous, miraculous, inconceivably powerful force the world has ever known.

  – Napoleon Hill

Imagination is what leads to creation.  Think of all of the great science fiction writers and their imaginations.  Deep sea diving, submarines with Jules Verne.  Star Trek and their recorders to our cell phones.  Isaac Asimov and self driving cars and the stun gun (taser).  H.G. Wells and atomic power.  We are so close to being able to print and replace body parts, organ transplants, tricorders for medical diagnosis.  To travel to the stars and go beyond our galaxy.  All things that have happened and will happen in our futures, because someones imagination said, “what if . . , “.

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.

  – Albert Einstein

Imagination is what you need to see that although there may be problems in your life that need to be solved, they are also realities to be lived through.  It is the meaning I give to my life that enables me to perceive that I am successful, that I am happy.  How I perceive my life to be, is the reality I am creating for myself.  The meaning comes from my feelings about what is happening.  I can get lost in the maze of what it should be.  I can also choose to see life as it truly is and acknowledge that most of the times when I have really grown have been when I was in the middle of some sort of failure.  Taking the risk of failing, is really taking the risk that the growth that comes out of that failure is worth the cost of failing.

The world is a canvas for your imagination.  You are the painter.  There are no rules.  Get to work.

  – Fearlessmotivation.com

There is a beach collage in the movie “The Man of the House” which the mom Sandy, (played by Farrah Fawcett) adds to every time she goes to the beach with the family.  All through the movie she is adding a piece to it, until finally she sets a final piece in it and declares it is done.   It is highly likely that this collage in her head when she first imagined it and what she actually created are not the same.  But who makes the rule that it has to be the same?  We do.  We are the ones painting on our canvas.  We decide what stays there and what gets scraped off and repainted with something new.  The rules are created by us and we can change them.  Our imagination can reshape the rules, can reshape what is on the canvas, can reshape anything to mirror what we desire to achieve in our life.  My perception of my life is what makes up the reality of my life.

The power of imagination makes us infinite.

  – John Muir

So what am I focusing on?  Is it something that brings my imagination into reality?  Because if my reality and my imagination are not even close to being the same, then I need to refocus to make it so.  It’s funny how sometimes the way to make that adjustment is to learn to lose how I thought it had to be, in order to find out a better way to live it.  It’s a matter of holding onto the vision that imagination has created and trusting the process of trying, failing, learning and trying again.

Live out your imagination, not your history.

  – Stephen R. Covey

Raise your eyes to see the possibilities everywhere around you.  They are always there.  An endless hallway filled with doors waiting for you to step through.  As you go through a new door, remember – nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood.  To be perceived in such a way that it creates the reality that you are searching for.  So don’t just sit there.  Get up and get busy!

 

Odyssey – A Long Journey Full of Adventures

 

Success is a journey, not a destination.  The doing is often more important than the outcome.

  – Arthur Ashe

Every year I go on several trips to seminars that are usually three – four days each.  This year they arrived all at once.  One of them I was supposed to go on last year, but my body had other plans (back surgery) and so I was unable to attend.  So they transferred me to this event.  The second one is part of the coaching plan I am on and I wasn’t able to travel yet with the event last year (on restrictions from said back surgery) and the third event is an annual American Indian Retreat I do every year.

Sometimes, it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.

  – Drake

I go on these journey’s each year to recharge my batteries.  To open my mind to new learning.  To get away from the everyday life, so I can relax and let come in from the divine the messages I am too busy to hear when I am involved with a fulltime job at the bank as well as running my LemonadeMakers page.  When I am out of my element, I see things I am missing at home.  I meet new people since I go to most of these events by myself.  I get to travel and see what in my life needs to change.

Your soul knows the geography of your destiny.  Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself.  If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.

 –  John O’Donohue

So no surprise, with attending a four day event (Thursday – Sunday) three weekends in a row in three different states, I woke up to some things in my life.  I have always loved trees.  It has always seemed to me that they talk to me.  They are so relaxed and go with whatever mother nature sends their way.  They connect to other trees through the root systems and even send nutrients to other trees far away that need them.  Some of the recent scientific studies show they actually create community and support each other.  Every home we have purchased it was because of the trees on the property, not the houses that I fell in love with.  So imagine my surprise when I realized that lately trees haven’t been talking to me, water has.

The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn’t even think to ask.

  – 180 degrees south

When I was at my first event outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico at Tamaya, located on a Pueblo Indian Reservation, they had strong winds blowing.  I had opened the door to my hotel room and was listening to the wind, rain and thunder storm.  When I closed my eyes and listened I heard the sound not of the wind, but of strong waves breaking against the seashore.

When I flew into Phoenix for my next event, the winds were blowing and I still heard the ocean in the air.

At Joshua Tree in California, I spoke to Chief Roberts and his wife Terri about how I was hearing the ocean everywhere I went.  I knew water was calling but I didn’t know why.  As one of our outdoor activities we were to walk a labyrinth.  As I walked it I was looking down at the rocks that outlined the path.  All different kinds of rocks, different minerals and crystals in them.  All shapes.  They spoke to me about water.  How it had loosened them from the soil.   How it had carved and shaped them transforming them, exposing them to the elements and revealing what they were deep inside.  How sometimes the changes happened rapidly like a landslide and other times it was slowly drip by drip that changed occurred.

Even in my planning for where we are going to live when I retire, water has been showing up.  First as I wanted to live in Northern Oregon or Southern Washington along the coast next to the ocean.  Then my son sent me a property listing outside of Astoria Oregon on the John Day river for a houseboat.  It was like water was saying, if you don’t want the ocean, how about living on the river?

I felt like the mom in the kitchen making dinner and my three year old kept grabbing my pant leg, saying “mommy, mommy” over and over.  And I kept saying, in a minute, I’m really busy right now.  Water was not letting me get away.  It just kept trying to get my attention.

Your journey in life is not set in stone, you can change direction.

  – Steven Aitchison

As I traveled round and round the labyrinth I started thinking about when water had started talking to me.  How had it been showing up in my life?  This winter has been the wettest winter since we have been living in California – the amount of water this season has been comparable to all the water we have gotten the last 10 years or so combined.  My patio kept getting flooded over and over again.

Then I thought about how we just redid the logo and website and Facebook page design and it has the ocean with breaking waves on it, whereas before it was the trees in the forest.  Then I thought about the webinar video I created and again it was about “Catching The Perfect Wave”.  Even right now with my remodeling of the bathroom I just discovered that I have to replace all of the drainage pipes as they used cast iron when the house was built and they are all damaged with rust and corrosion.

In a recent deep meditation class I asked my intuition what I needed to know.  I am very visual and it showed me this vision in which I had already given birth and was now expelling the afterbirth.  Childbirth has a lot to do with water – LOL.  When I looked up the meaning behind this it validated my thoughts that I am in the middle of a big life transition.  I have been told for the past 6 months that I am probably going to be laid off from work.  I have been preparing for this liquidating our other properties we own, paying off debt and getting everything ready for the possibility.

Be brave.  Take risks.  Nothing can substitute experience.

  – Paulo Coelho

 I think that this is why water is showing up for me,  Big changes are coming.  Everyone I was talking to at all three events were experiencing big changes in their lives.  They were all in the midst of some transition in their lives.  I am taking a leap of faith in my own transition that it is time for me to devote full time to LemonadeMakers.  To finish the online courses I am writing.  To find a new publisher for my first three books, that I had ready to print when the company that was doing it sent me an email that they shut their doors.  To begin coaching life transformation full time, instead of part time.  This is a big risk as I have never been self employed.  It is a big risk, because I have no idea where this journey will take me.  I just know that water says I have to go.

No one knows what changes, big or small, lie ahead. 

One thing is certain, our journey’s not over. 

Enjoy each and every step.

So my question for you is this – what is trying to get your attention?  What are you ignoring because you are so busy doing, that you are forgetting to take the time to listen?

Take the time to look behind you for signs.  Listen to what keeps occurring in your life.  See the doors that you walked past not realizing they were there.  Realize that you are probably in the midst of a transition yourself.  Be brave.  Go someplace even if it is simply a walk in the woods and get away from the everyday part of your life.  Ask yourself what do I need to know for the next part of my journey.

Come attend our next webinar and explore what we have to offer to take you to a new level of self transformation.  Click on the link below to learn more about our next webinar to “Catch the Perfect Wave”.

https://bit.ly/2YDfz45

Follow Your Dreams, They Know The Way

Follow Dreams, LemonadeMakers, Sheryl Silbaugh

_My life was forever changed the day I realized there was a big difference between having a dream an

Revised 2/01/2019

Consult not your fears, but your hopes and dreams.  Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential.  Concern yourself not with what you have tried and failed in, but with what is still possible to do.

 –  Pope John XXIII  

Everyone has dreams.  How many times have you said the words, “I thought of that idea, but didn’t know how to accomplish it” – or “that could have been me being rich and famous, I thought of that idea years ago”?  I believe that the universe downloads great ideas to many, because most of us will never chase the dream into a reality.

We may place blame, give reasons, and even have excuses, but in the end, it is an act of cowardice to not follow your dreams.

  –  Dr. Steve Maraboli

When we are dream chasers we realize that the person who we are, has just been constructed out of myths we have told ourselves since we were children.  That this person who was created out of ideas, beliefs and images – is not really who we are.  Those myths don’t define us, and they are not who we are deep inside our souls.  The dream is our souls way of clearing out all of the things that no longer serve us.  It draws out of the center of our soul who we really are.

Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground.

  –  Wilfred Peterson 

When we decide to become dream chasers, it changes our life forever.  This is because this decision means that we have decided to become someone different than we have been.  We realize that in order to bring the dream into reality, we have to become who the dream is calling us to be.  Someone who is brave enough to follow her own wild and crazy ideas.  Someone who has the courage to put as much effort into doubting the fears that come up when we go outside the safe zone in our lives, as we put into doubting our dreams.  Someone who puts her visions of what is possible onto the world stage.

Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

  –  Gloria Steinem

We realize as dream chasers, that our dreams are a verb, an action needs to take place.  We need to serenade our dreams, ranging from the simple love ballad to the romantic symphony, reflecting the intensity of our love for the dream we are chasing.  We bleed the words of our souls poetry onto the page of our dreams, spilling out our hearts desires.  We float across the dance floor of our dreams, with the intensity of the Paso Doble.  The paint of our dreams swirls across the canvas, blending in the colors of our life as we paint it into existence.  As the conductor of the orchestra, with the baton leading the intensity of the music, we create a tapestry of tones and colors across the mind.

Dreams are valuable commodities.  They propel us forward.  They give us energy.

  –  John C. Maxwell   

All of this art creates the souls wishes from deep inside of us, out into the world stage.  The distance between our dream and reality is bridged by action.  Small steps become long distances, when we just keep walking.  Remember the joy of the babies first step?  Then we hold out our hands and just keep walking backwards one step to encourage them to take another and another.  The next thing we know they are running across the room, the yard, and the world.  Small steps become long distances, when we just keep walking.

What is most needed at this moment, is for all of us to let lose our passions, and come alive.  Come alive and go out and do what you see needs to be done.  Don’t wait for someone else to solve your problems, or your neighborhoods problems or the worlds problems.  Come alive and do something.  Join an organization to help others; get involved in volunteering, in politics, in raising your hand and saying, “I can do that”.

The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams. 

  –  Oprah

Refuse to let the fears and nightmares of other people’s lives distort our dreams.  Don’t apologize for having dreams.  Don’t stop chasing them because others don’t want us to try to bring them into reality.  We realize that chasing our dreams is hard work.  That chasing our dreams will change our lives, and the lives of every person we impact.  We don’t stop chasing our dreams because they excite our spirit.  We have a deep hunger that can’t be satisfied in any other way.  It is our road, our dreams, our life.

Don’t follow your dreams; chase them . . .

  – Kunal Patel

Dreams are all about transforming.  When we listen to our souls voice, we see these dreams play out in our imagination.  Our imagination is the illustrator to the book that your soul has written out on your heart.  It is up to you to read the blueprint designs, and go out into the world and build them into reality.  Negative people are like termites.  If you let them into your dreams, they will destroy what you are building.  You are far too smart, to let the negativity of your own mind or that of others stand in your way.

Keep your dreams alive.  Understand that to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination and dedication.  Remember all things are possible for those who believe.

  – Gail Devers

Remember that God put that dream into your heart.  He whispers to your soul what the next step is to bring it into reality.  You just need to listen, believe and go out and do what you can do.  God will make sure the right doors open, but you have to step through them.  I encourage you to check out our LemonadeMakers Club.  It is being designed with helping each of us to dig deeper into hearing our own inner guidance.  To learn to understand the directions of the divine through our souls voice.  To better understand not only how to access it, but to see what in our lives is undergoing transformation and learn to work with it, instead of against it.

Embrace Life, Each Day Is A Gift

_Old age is like climbing a mountain. You climb from ledge to ledge. The higher you get, the more

Shel Silverstein is one of my favorite poets.  My kids all read his poems when they were little.  This is one of his poems that I wanted to share, because it is now part of my life with my dad.

The Little Boy and Old Man

“Said the little boy, Sometimes I drop my spoon.  Said the little old man, I do that too.

The little boy whispered, I wet my pants.  I do too, laughed the old man.

Said the little boy, I often cry.  The old man nodded, So do I.

But worst of all, said the boy, it seems Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.  And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.  I know what you mean, said the little old man.”

Recently I crossed over from being a daughter to being a parent for my father.  Some changes in your life, tear your heart into tiny pieces.  22 years ago, my mom went on to her next adventure.  She passed away at 56 yrs old from cancer.  I stayed with her and took care of her the last three months of her life.  My aunt and my mom’s best friend stayed with me as she needed around the clock care.  With them by my side, while I had hard moments, it wasn’t traumatic.  I miss her so much with each new family event.  My kids graduating high school.  college, marriages, and of course grandchildren and now great grandchildren. She missed it all.

It was a family understanding that when my dad retired from work that he would move in with us.  And because he had poor heart health, having a triple bypass, he actually retired a little early with disability and came to live with us.  At first he had a motorhome that he lived in, so he could keep his independence.  We had a motorhome pad, with electricity hook ups and everything.  Then came the day he had to move inside, because his health was deteriorating. 

Then we purchased a hospital bed because he was having problems breathing at night, with a lot of coughing and this would allow him to raise it up enough that he could comfortably sleep.  Then more ups and downs.  He acquired a walker because he couldn’t walk more than a few steps before he was out of breath.  Then back and forth to hospitals, ER’s, tests and more tests. Changes of medication when they damaged his kidneys.  Changes of medications to help his heart failures.

My dad has a phobia around hospitals.  An intense fear.  He refuses to go, wanting to stabilize himself with drugs at home.  So that is very trying as it usually means intense discussions with both me and his cardiac specialists.  The drugs have started causing kidney damage and they have to dial back the dosage.  I feel horrible that he becomes defeated.  He sits in his chair and watches TV all day and I know he has feelings of depression and being defeated by his body.  Sometimes I feel like the worst daughter in the world, as I crossed over into being his parent.  I am his advocate when he doesn’t or just can’t understand what is happening and why.

There is a moral task of caregiving, and that involves just being there, being with that person and being committed.  When there is nothing that can be done, we have to be able to say, “Look, I’m with your in this experience.  Right through to the end of it.

Dr. Arthur Kleinman.

Why do I do this?  About 52 years ago, my dad married my mom.  She had six little girls, all eighteen months apart with a set of twins.  My dad has a lot of faults, like all of us.  But he also has some amazing qualities.  One is that when they got married, we were his daughters.  Not his step-daughters.  His daughters.  Not once in 50 years has the word “step” exited his mouth.  I think that many who read this will not understand how important that is to a child.  For me, putting the word “step” before me, makes me less than his own child.  I know how lucky we were that we were never step children.  When my mom died, 22 years ago, we were still his daughters.  No words can express this kind of love.  Believe me, if you met some of my sisters, you would understand how amazing it is, that he still calls them his daughters – lol. 

Of all the lessons I’ve learned through my years of caregiving, the most important is to keep the love connection going.  Just tell them that you love them again and again and again.  You will never say it too much, ever.

Joan Lunden

It is scary to cross this transition from daughter to parent.  It was different from my mom, as I never felt I became her parent, I remained in caregiving mode.  It is scary to see that in the near future, he will go on to his next great adventure, leaving all of us behind him.  We are both scared right now.  What happens when we let our fears get ahold of our mouths?  We shout, we get angry, we say hurtful things.  But it is just us being scared.  Caregiving is hard, but it is also so rewarding.  I can remember when I was taking care of my mom, that some of my sisters were absent because it was too hard to watch the lung cancer take away her ability to care for herself.  I learned what the true meaning of words like grace, dignity, love, sacrifice really were deep under the surface of the meanings we usually give them.  I am again reminded of it now everyday.

To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors. 

Tia Walker

I wanted to share my story because I know that many of you are doing the same as I am.  Day by day watching a loved one fade away.  Sometimes with a fight and sometimes with a whimper.  It is hard to watch, and harder to experience it happening to oneself.  I wanted to say how while all of our experiences are different because of the people involved and other circumstances, I know how hard this is.  I know how fulfilling it is one moment and utterly draining the next.  But this is still a gift.  A gift of grace, love, and all the other virtues. 

Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know was even possible.

  Tia Walker

You are not alone, even when it feels like it.  If you feel overwhelmed, please join a caregiver group, whether online or up front and personal.  It helps to share what is going on and they can help you with getting assistance when it is needed.  Believe me, it is hard to find help when you don’t even know where to start and what is available.  Even the strongest person can have the weakest day of their life and having access to someone who knows and understands what is happening is priceless.

Remember the power of your angels.  Remember to be guided by love and take strength in the good memories, when those you care for are having a bad day and giving you waking nightmares.  And remember the grace of how those things we can’t change, can change us.

When we are in a state of severe loss, of pain and grief and a darkness of the soul – that is when life is at its hardest to bear.

But if we just take a deep breath, followed by more deep breaths we can walk into the middle of the chaos. It’s messy in the middle, but in the middle we have the space to start working through the story of our loss. And as we walk through the story, we eventually reach the end.

The end is the place of new beginnings. Our life has been forever changed by our tragedy. We must remember in this space of pain, grief, and loss that the new beginning will be waiting for us.

The sun will shine. The stars will shine brightly. New people will come into our lives. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel, if we only will open once again to breathe in the love.

Heart’s Destiny

_The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.  I want to know what you ache for, and if you dream of meeting your heart’s destiny.

  – Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Orian Mountain Dreamer is one of my favorite writers.  I invite you to read her books, they are small but mighty.  The Invitation is what this quote is from.  The poem is a wonderful deep dive into important questions that probe who we are and why.

If light is in your heart, you will find your way home.

  – Rumi

Our words have power.  When we hide how we feel, what we think, we are trying to live our life using someone else’s light.  We can’t find our way home that way.  There is always some truth behind the words that are followed by “just kidding”.  When we say “I don’t know”, there is always some knowledge that we judge as being incomplete and so we say we don’t know – when in fact we do know something about it.  When we say, “I don’t care” we are not being truthful.  We think if we put our emotions in a cage and don’t let them out we can’t be hurt.  The reality is that we are hurting ourselves.  When we tell others that we are “ok” when we aren’t, we rob them of the opportunity to help us.

May you always be guided by the light that shines forth from within you.

  – solitaryview

Life is always about the meaning that we give to it.  If you take a lamp as the analogy, our soul is the light inside the lamp.  The things that happen to us are the glass that surrounds the light.  That glass doesn’t matter, it is the heart and soul – the light that matters.

We tell ourselves stories about the events in our life, to give us some meaning to what is happening. Some of us are writing horror stories, or stories that leave us drained from fears and worries. Others of us, write stories about the gifts we received as we travel through life.  From the wonderful things that happen to us, as well as the tragic things. The best way to count your blessings is to look at life through a variety of lenses. To bring things into and out of focus. To look into the depths of our souls to see what the storms dredged up for us to look at.  When we sift through it all, we can let go of everything that doesn’t serve us, realize the lessons we have been taught, and grow into who we came here to be.

Harness the power of today!  Seize the blessings of today!  Make something happen, enhance your life, make someone laugh, help a friend.  Love, love, love.

  – Dr. Steve Maraboli. 

There is a big difference between making something happen and forcing something to happen.  Forcing something to happen isn’t natural.  It is like forcing yourself into something that doesn’t fit.  Have you ever laid on the bed to force your stomach to be flat so you can get your jeans buttoned and zipped up?  Or forced your foot into a shoe that you loved, but doesn’t really fit?  You might be able to get the jeans fastened, but it hurts your stomach when you try to sit.  You might be able to walk in those shoes for a little while, but eventually you have to take off the shoes because they hurt your feet so badly.  What you will left with is blisters to prove vanity isn’t a good idea to live your life by.

And I know how broken you are, how heavy you feel, but still, you have to find the light in you.  You have to hold on to it with care and never let it go, even if it drags you to the end of the world.

  – r.m. drake

But making something happen is all about taking small steps to bring into reality what you are dreaming of.  It is catching the light of your soul and holding it up into the darkness, so that you can see where to go.  It is taking the voice or dancing lessons because you want to be in theater.  It is taking leaps of faith when you don’t know how to do something.  It is going for the brass ring as the merry go round flies around and around.  It is learning a foreign language for a trip of a lifetime to a foreign land.  It is taking big, medium and small actions, not just dreaming about it,  You don’t just sit there doing nothing to make it happen.

Whenever you hear or read anything of a spiritual nature that moves your soul you are not learning something . . , you are remembering what you have always known.  It is a gentle awakening.

  – thewellnessglow.net

Have you ever went somewhere new and experienced deja vu?  That feeling that what is happening at this moment, has happened before?  Have you ever learned something new and it was just so natural and easy that you didn’t even need instructions to do it?  For me, it feels like something that I have dreamed about, is now happening in real life.  That my mind already knows and sees the connections, like it was programmed into being.  I think that when this happens, we need to pay attention.  That we are in that moment doing something that is important, even if our minds do not understand it.

The Words I Speak Are All In Languages I Do Not Speak

And yet, when you get here, you are not given instructions.  There are no diagrams about how you are meant to live each day or directions on how to assemble some semblance of happiness.  You are not even told what colors to paint your feelings or given a purpose and a reason for your life.  You have to make all of it up.  You have to make all of it up yourself.

  – Iain S. Thomas, from “I Wrote This For You”

No matter if we are in the first month or the last  month of the year, take the time to reflect on what the year so far has been for you.  To see the places where life has been a blessing.  To see the places where you let your dreams fall by the wayside.  Pick them back up.  Dust them off.  Find within them the things that you are looking for.  Go beyond your means to make them come true for you.  Draw down deep within the story of them and bring it into reality.  Transform the pain and regrets of this year and past years into the blessings and joy of a new year.

Years end is neither an end nor a new beginning, but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. 

  – Hal Borland. 

The journey of life teaches us that growth happens when the dream is bigger and brighter than you ever thought it could be.  In the pursuit of that dream, it will illuminate your heart, capture your mind, and free your soul from the small box that you held it in.  You will discover that there are hidden maps within your soul.  That there are clues and invitations to walk through doors that will open your mind up to things you never dreamed could be true.  But you can only make those kind of discoveries when you listen to your heart.

That is my wish for all of you today.  That you listen to your heart; that you hear the whisper of your soul and find the dream that is so big, that you too can grow beyond who you are today and enrich the universe.

Go Where There Is No Path, And Leave A Trail

Over every mountain there is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley.

Theodore Roethke

Everything you see in your life at this moment, is the result of choices you have made.  The door in the photo is clearly open, but you can’t really see the steps through it or what lies beyond it.  Some of the choices we have made in life, lead us in directions that we didn’t even know were there.

Sometimes behind the waterfall, there is a path into a valley that no one has discovered.

Sometimes we fall through a hole in the ground, and discover a buried city.

Sometimes we have a flat tire on a desert road, with no spare tire to change it – and we find a dusty path that leads to a hidden cache of gold.

There is always a choice of following a paved road with lots of signs, or walking down a dirt path.  To stay safe on the paved road or taking on the risk of the unknown dirt path, and seeing for yourself the genius of the universal design for your life.

Of never trying to see what is behind the waterfall in the first place (it is dangerous and you might fall down and hurt yourself); to climb out of that hole you fell into (it’s probably full of spiders, snakes, and rats) and ignoring the possibilities of discovery all around you; to stay beside that car on the hot desert road and wait for someone to rescue you (so much more sensible than striking out on your own).

Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.

Erol Ozan

So stop being so worried about the million and one things that can go wrong.  Start instead dreaming about, and getting excited about, what is around the next corner.  Whatever we chose to be the next destination, we should always aim just a little higher.  If we are aiming for the lower mountain, we won’t know if we could have climbed the higher one instead.  Don’t put off the higher mountain as your goal, thinking that you need to be realistic, that you need to go in small definable steps.  As the saying goes, “Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you’ll land on the stars”.   Don’t be afraid to get lost.  Even landing among the stars, changes you, your world, and maybe even the whole world.

No one saves us but ourselves.  No one can and no one may.  We ourselves must walk the path.

Buddha

Friends, loved ones, mentors, teachers – they can all set us on what they think is the right path for us.  Sometimes they are right, sometimes they are wrong, and sometimes they are “almost” right.  It is up to us to decide what the correct life path is for us, at this point in our lives.  No matter what path we take in life, no matter where we go or end up, we take a little bit of everyone we know with us.  Haven’t you heard those voices in your head?  Your parents, your favorite aunt or uncle, your grandparents, those special friends from school – those voices that make insane comments about what is taking place in front of you?  Mine are these comedian’s talking commentary during a boring office meeting.  My son Sam’s voice comes into play during movies when they are doing anything military or medical, telling me they are doing it wrong.

If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.

Dolly Parton

I believe that we have at least three careers in our life, and that they can be completely different.  We shouldn’t confuse the path we are walking with the destination that we are going to.  Once I have mastered something, I get bored.  When I get bored, I know it is time to start exploring something new to learn, to have a new destination.  I am still walking my life path, the path of learning more about the world, about me, and what new sights are on the horizon.  There are times that the path can be a little blurry, because I haven’t yet discovered where the path is taking me.  So I keep walking and I get curious.  I know that when the path gets crystal clear, I have a new destination and new life experiences coming into focus.

You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.

Paulo Coelho

This doesn’t mean that I am just sitting on the path waiting for it to define itself.  When I sit, it is like stepping off the deep end of the river and just sinking to the bottom.  If I sit, the world tries to define me.  To make me fit someone else’s mold, to do the things that they want me to do and be.  Then I lose myself, sitting submerged and wondering why I can’t breathe.  I have to take the time, the effort and the work to define the path, so that each step brings the focus sharper and more defined.  I have to swim back up to the surface of the river and determine which shoreline I want to step onto.

If you could have seen the end from the beginning, would you have chosen a different path?

-M 2013

Sometimes when we are walking down the path we have chosen everything goes wrong.  A forest fire races through the valley and destroys all of the vegetation.  The river overflows its banks and takes out the bridge we were walking across.  A 40 car pile-up in the fog totals our car.  Sometimes what seems like a life ending event, is actually the first step on a new path.  We had developed expectations of where the path should be taking us, and so we were actually sleep walking down the side path.  Because of our expectations, that path might have led us to the correct destination, but without the right experiences.  Have you ever seen someone famous implode right after they achieved critical acclaim for their talents?  Hollywood, Politics, Musicians – we’ve all seen them reach a pinnacle of success, then drugs, alcohol, sexual exploitation – and down they tumble into scandal.

Not until we are lost do we begin to find ourselves.

Henry David Thoreau

This is due to not having strong enough roots to support their growth.  Somewhere along the path to finding themselves, they didn’t get lost.  They missed valuable life experiences that would have grounded their roots.  That would have forced them to grow deeper and discover more about who they were.  Because they didn’t have these valuable experiences, they allowed others even with the best intentions, to rescue them from falling on their face.  They covered things up. They didn’t let them experience the results of bad choices when they were small failures.  So they just kept being rescued and didn’t learn the life skills of what failure really means.

Remember when life’s path is steep, to keep your mind even.

Horace

What we  discover from failure is that sometimes it is the best thing that ever happened to us.  We see new ways to do something, which we would have never seen if everything went according to plan.  We discover wonderful character traits that were only exposed because we felt we had no other choice than to force ourselves to up our game.  My favorite movie scene is from “Facing The Giants” in the death crawl scene.  The player goes all of the way down the entire length of the football field, thinking that he is only trying to make it to the 50 yard line.  He couldn’t see where he was, and he was crawling with another player on his back.  At first the coach is only trying to get him to the 50 yard line, then he realizes the player has more in him than either of them knew.  We are all like that player, capable of so much more.  It is the difficult parts of life that open up the possibilities of our tasting some of that greatness we have buried deep inside.  So remember “to keep the mind even” – not letting doubts or over-confidence tilt us.

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.

W.B. Yeats

Each day is a new adventure in walking our chosen life path.  Each day we can walk it in wonder, looking to see what is going to cross our path today.  We can be curious.  We can slow down and actually see what is on our right side, our left side, and directly in front of us.  Don’t miss the flowers that you’ve never seen in that color or shape before.  Look for the squirrels, bunnies, little lizards laying on the warm rock and enjoying the heat of the day.  Rest when you are tired.  Walk in the moonlight or lay back and count the stars.

I suspect the truth is that we are waiting, all of us, against insurmountable odds for something extraordinary to happen to us.

Khaled Hosseini

This is your life path, your journey.  The world is full of friends, lovers,  and new brothers and sisters waiting to get to know us.  The destinations are fun to get to, to master some aspect of your life.  But really, life is lived on the path, during the step by step walking, dancing, singing, along the road to the newest destination.  So don’t forget to enjoy it.  The journey is – Your Happiness.

Serenity Is Peace Amid Life’s Storms

 

_I must be a mermaid, I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living._ Anais Nin

Updated 8/09/2018
When you look across the ocean with the sunrise or the sunset, you see their colors mirrored on the surface. This is like our appearance, beautiful when calm and serene. But if you dive down deep, into the depths, that is where the true beauty of a person lies, in their soul. This is the beauty that we miss, when we make surface judgments about someone.

Your heart is the size of an ocea
n. Go find yourself in its hidden depths.
  – Rumi
 
Self knowledge is the place to start. We need to dig down deep within us, and question all of the stories we have told ourselves about our life. What do we know to be 100% totally true? 

If we seriously ask and listen to the answer to this question, most of us would have to acknowledge that most of our stories about life are made up. We make them up to make sense of the things we have seen, done, and experienced.  We think we know ourselves and know others, but we really don’t.
 
The more I see, the less I know for sure.
  – John Lennon
 
This is because the more that we learn about life, the more we see that most of our knowledge is surface knowledge. The deeper we dive, the more we see how much more complicated and interconnected our understanding of life is.

Knowledge is knowing the depths of the ocean. Wisdom is knowing where to swim.
  – Saleem Sharma
 
Sometimes life can be hard to navigate. When the storms come in, the waves churn up from the bottom of the sea bed. Things come to the surface that have been long buried. We are like this when the storms of life blow in. All those things that we stuff down inside of us, because we either can’t, or don’t know how to deal with them, come churning up to the surface.
 
Shallow people dwell on the surface of false perceptions.  And they will always see something sinister in you, regardless of the truth your heart contains.
  – Jonny Oh
 
I think that shallow people see something sinister, because of the truth that you bring up from the depths.  They prefer to live on the surface, because they are afraid of what their own depths contain.  Drug and alcohol addiction sometimes starts from that place of wanting to hide from the truth.  To not feel anything.  So some people need to make you wrong in some way, for dredging up from the depths the things that you want to change in your life.  If they can convince you that the shallows are the place to live, then it makes them feel good that they are continuing to live there, and not face the truth of who they are. 
 
They muddy the water, to make it seem deep.
  – Friedrich Nietzsche 
 
Instead of being afraid of what we have buried, we need to rise up and calm the waters. Be still. Breathe. Be at peace. Realize that God never brings anything into our lives that we can’t handle. Wake up to your dreams. Live them out in your reality.  We need to release those who refuse to dive deep into their lives, and want to remain in the shallows.  Let them stay where they wish, as we seek out those who believe against all odds and evidence, that there is more to life than shallow living.
 
“The Hidden Clocks” by Iain S. Thomas
Don’t Stop Searching.
There is no comfort in giving up.
There are large parts of you that don’t exist yet.
The greatest you you could be, is still waiting to be found.
Get up and look.

Lean on the divine, and on those who love us. Change what can be changed, release the rest. See the hope of a new day, the beauty that lies within each of us, and the love that never dies. Remember that you can do anything you “think” you can do, and impossible really means “I m possible”.

Awaken To Your True Self And Take Flight

If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the su

Everyone has the perfect gift to give the world – and if each us is freed up to give the gift that is uniquely ours to give, the world will be in total harmony 

  – Buckminster Fuller

The journey we are all on, individually, has interesting intersections.  Places where we have almost identical experiences.  Places where we are on the same page at the same time.  Wherever we are traveling on the map, someone has been there before us, and someone is just behind us.  We are driven by a hunger to express who we really are, and at the same time, we are like, “wait, wait, I’m not ready”.  Our choices reflect our greatest dreams and our deepest fears and insecurities.

Do you know what you are?  You are a manuscript of a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face.  This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself, everything that you want, you already have.

  – Rumi

Do you remember when you went to a playground or maybe it was at school recess – the first time that you climbed up the ladder of the slide and looked way down to the bottom?  It seemed so far below us and really scary.  Maybe you went right back down that ladder too scared to go down the slide.  Or maybe you went down the slide, but remained in total control by gripping the sides of the slide so that you just eased yourself down to the bottom very, very slowly.  Or maybe you threw caution to the winds and went down the slide screaming at the top of your lungs, and ran as fast as you could to climb back up the ladder and this time to try it backwards.

We as human beings have this amazing capacity to be reborn at breakfast every day and say, “This is a new day.  Who will I be?”

  – Jack Kornfield

How many things in your life have been like that slide experience?  How has this pattern showed up in your life?  Do you blunt your own truth?  Do you not fully commit to anything in life?  Do you like to stay in the lines, and play safe with life by staying within your comfort zone?  Do you avoid pushing boundaries at home, at work, when exercising, in every area of your life?  Are you setting goals or New Years Resolutions that are not really growing you or breaking out or through anything that you did last year, or the year before that . . . , all the way back 5, 10, or 20 years ago?  Is RISK a dirty four letter word to your brain?

Whenever you  hear or read anything of a spiritual nature that moves you or touches your soul you are not learning something  . . , you are remembering what you have always known.  It is a gentle awakening.

 – thewellnessnow.net

When you move forward, is it from consulting your own inner guidance, or from following the advice of others?  You awaken and become conscious of your purpose in life when you stop looking outside for the answers that can only be found inside of us.  Sit in silence and listen to the soft voice of your heart.  To the guidance of your soul.  This divine guidance comes to us through the voice of intuition.  When we start to live our life from this authentic place, our soul becomes visible.

The more you trust intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become.

  – Gisele Bundchen

Do you move forward without design with “a leap of faith”, like racing down that slide in childhood.  Or do you continue to walk down well worn and well known paths based on your need to control everything in your life? Like gripping the sides of that slide to control your slide to the bottom.  Do you get vulnerable and put yourself out there, or do you draw back into your quiet safe corner where you can’t be seen or heard?  We mistakenly think that when we keep safe, that we are avoiding being hurt.  The truth is when we are not taking that leap of faith, we are suffering a far greater pain.  We suffer in life, from not living our purpose.  We suffer the regrets of not living a fully lived life. That leap of faith is the road to the happiness.  The road to living a life well lived.  Of stepping up into transforming not only ourselves, but the world we live in.

Vulnerability is not about fear and grief and disappointment – it is the birthplace of everything we’re hungry for.

– Brene Brown

Think of people who became “obsessed” with something – Jane Goodell, Mother Teresa. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, all come to my mind.  All people that when you hear their name, you think of the “thing” or purpose that gave meaning to their life.  Their message comes through loud and clear.  You associate their name with the message. It isn’t only their life that was changed by their following their passion.  Their life purpose actually changed the world.  They have literally become a living archetype, a soul on fire.

In a world where everyone wears a mask, it’s a privilege to see a soul.

  – Unknown

Watching a candle flame is watching the transformation of fire.  It dies down and flames up over and over again.  It is constantly changing – it changes directions, it changes height, it changes width – in any one second it is not the same as it was the previous second.  It reacts to the slightest breeze in the room.

There is a force within which gives you life, seek that.  In your body lies a priceless gem, seek that.  O wandering soul if you want to find the greatest treasure, don’t look outside, look inside, and seek that.

  – Rumi

When we awaken, there is a fire that starts burning within our soul.  We awaken to our true nature, as everything that doesn’t belong gets burned away.  We start to get glimpses of what our truth is.  We see the masks of conditioned behaviors and patterns that need to be removed, as they don’t serve us.  Like a mirror we see reflected back to us what is holding us back. We see that the walls that our patterns built to protect us, are in fact keeping us from living to our full potential.  When we see life from our souls perspective, we see that there are no obstacles, only guidance.

Don’t let life’s challenges harden your heart, let them empower your mind, renew your spirit and strengthen your soul.

  – Babz

The Gift Of Self Transformation

How does one become a butterfly_ You must be willing to give up being a caterpillar, and transform i

Updated 2/10/2018

Transformation gives you the chance to rewrite the story of who you are and who you are capable of being. There are many things in our life that we give negative meanings to. But what if you gave pain the definition that it shows you that which is not right for you? This would be a positive thing to know – what doesn’t belong to me or my life. It is hard to leave something or someone behind you, to let them or it go.  It is hard until you decide to do it.  Then it becomes easy.  It isn’t the leaving that is hard, it is the decision.

Envy is another word that has a bad rap. What if envy simply shows you things which you may wish to empower in your own life? That would be a great thing to know – things I want in my life and can empower myself to obtain.  In our lives we have the habit of settling.  We settle with that 10 lbs of weight that we can’t seem to lose.  We settle with our job, thinking what we have is better than nothing.  We settle, settle, settle, because the reality is that we don’t know what we really, really want.

I am always stuck.  I am always stuck between giving people everything because I am dying to create meaningful relationships, and giving them nothing at all because then if they leave, at least I’ll be left whole.

  – (via yoymenoyhoy)

Transformation comes when we are totally honest with ourselves.  It comes when we face the things that we don’t want to face. It comes from taking responsibility for all our actions and inactions. It comes when life forces us to look at what we are doing, when our WHY we need to change becomes an imperative.  There is a game that we can play where we write down a series of things that we want in our life (write down as least 25, and try for more).  Then we pick two and ask, which one is more soul catching?  The one we don’t pick is scratched off.  Then we take the next two and so on until we just have the ones left that we picked.  Then we do the same thing to that list, and we continue with this process until we only have three left. 
 
It is not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power.
  – Robert T Kiyosaki
 
Those three things are what pulls most on our hearts and souls.  Now comes the transformation part.  Who do we need to become, to draw those things into our life?  What fears do we need to face down?  What action steps do we need to take?  Who do we know that can help us?
 
The greatest gift that we can ever give ourselves is self transformation.  We all have scars both interior and exterior.  Like road maps they tell a story of the journey that we have been on.  The scars from being uprooted, of moving away from friends and family when you were a child.  The scars of being bullied, both by others and by our mean selves.  The scars of falling down.  The pain of getting back on our feet. 
 
Some of these scars are healed, and they are barely visible.  They tell a story that we have transformed from a scary movie or nightmare of desolation, into a comedy in which we star.  We can touch those scars, remember and still smile.  But others still need to be healed, to be transformed.  When we touch them, it is like touching a hot stove.  The pain is barely tolerable.  Even though that scar looks healed from the outside, inside the pain still lingers. 
 
That is where self transformation is the gift.  We can go into the chrysalis and heal.  We need to look at the space of where we are honestly.  Then look at the space of what it is we want in our life.  Then instead of becoming lost in the space of longing, we transform it into the space of an inspiring journey.  The bridge is built by our being willing to give up the pain, to let it go.  To transform it into something beautiful.  To gift it with wings of color, patterns of joyous beauty.  To let it take flight and leave us.
 
One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.
  – Brigitte Nicole
 
 
The being that is forming in a chrysalis is no longer a caterpillar. For the Butterfly the past is truly a place of reference. It can no longer live there, because that body is gone. Within the chrysalis the caterpillars body literally melted into goo, and then formed a totally new body. As the butterfly’s body grows into its new shape, it becomes cramped as the wings want to expand out. It isn’t a place of residence for the butterfly, so it has to break loose and spread it’s wings and find a new home.
 
I tell you this to break your heart, by which I mean only that it break open and never close again to the rest of the world.
  – Mary Oliver
 
The butterfly had to break out of the old place of residence and begin a brand new journey, where everything is experienced for the first time. It must break open its heart to begin this journey, because it has to trust its intuition for flying, for finding food, for making a new home. Literally everything for the butterfly is a brand new experience. 
 
…, something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart – a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.
  – Marianne Williamson
 
Transformation is a scary business. Because I am a perfectionist, I hate doing something new for the first time. I am doing the best I can with my posts, knowing that I will have spelling errors or grammar mistakes in my writing. I can proofread this a dozen times and the minute I publish I find something I missed. Sometimes when I am reading an old post, I will find more than one missed error and it taunts me.  Can you hear it?  Neener, neener, neener, you can’t catch me?
 
I am living with being imperfect in order to just get the post out there.  If you are a grammar queen or king, and see something in these posts that is an error, please don’t just tell me how my writing drives you crazy when you see the errors.  Please tell me what it is that needs to be corrected.  I am just a lowly knave doing the best that I can.  I am open to correction.
 
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
  –  Steve Jobs
 
If we just do what we know, then we confine ourselves to remain the same.  It is striking out into the unknown, trying new things, doing things differently that allows us to be free to grow into who we are meant to be.
 
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery.  But today is a gift.  That’s why we call it The Present.
  – A.A. Milne
 
 

Every Great Dream Begins With A Dreamer

The World Needs More Dreamers and Doers. Above All, The World Needs Dreamers That Do.

In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be.

  – The Dreamer

 We are all born dreamers.  All you have to do is watch any small child.  You can see their dreams, their imaginations running wild.  They create whole worlds with blankets and pillows, some Legos and Hot Wheels, Dinosaurs and some plastic green Army Men.  Whatever they can get their hands on.  If you give them a few tools they will cut and saw out some boards and hammer together a space ship, then put on their capes to go out to save the world from alien invaders.  But the horrible thing that happens to some of us, is that we let go of our dreams.  We become realists and make our possibilities into a small safe comfort zones. 

There are only two kinds of people in this world.  The realists and the dreamers.  The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

  – Robert Orben

We need to destroy our comfort zones and remember that we are dreamers and we have unlimited potential.  Your dreams were designed to custom fit your personality.  If we let them, they will continue grow and expand as we do.  They will follow us all of our days, growing greater and grander as we do.  When Walt Disney was laying in the hospital dying, he had his newest dreams taped up on the ceiling so that he could look up at them and continue to plan their realities.  As long as you continue to learn, to grow and expand, so will your dreams.  Dreams are our future realities, waiting in the wings to come out on the stage of life.  

The dreamers of the day are dangerous people.  For they dream their dreams with wide open eyes, and make them come true.

  – D.H. Lawrence

I am always amazed when I read an old science fiction book or look at some of the drawings of someone like Leonardo Da Vinci.  He created on paper the bicycle, the helicopter, and an airplane.  What powerful dreamers they were.  At the time, they were writing about a future they could only see in their minds eye.  They made up inventions that had us deep within the oceans, that had us exploring the galaxy, that had us beaming a person from the land mass of a planet, up through space and into the interior of a space ship. 

Great dreams of great dreamers are always transcended.

  – A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

Over time, inventors have been catching those concepts or thoughts, and they have been bringing them into reality.  They invented deep sea diving suits, and submarines and special mini subs that could go even deeper.  We have the ability to see the ocean floor from satellites deep in space.  They took us to the moon and back.  Now we go back and forth on a regular basis to a space station.  I saw a news piece about how someone is building personal small helicopters that will fly themselves and be used in the near future to take us to work.  While this isn’t the flying car that turns into a brief case we saw on the George Jetson cartoons, it is getting closer to a reality.

All successful people, men and women, are big dreamers.  They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision.

  – Brian Tracy

When you are a dreamer that puts action steps into your dreams, you discover a number of things.  You discover what hard work really looks and feels like.  You discover the real cost of sacrificing everything to make the dream into reality, and you discover that the price isn’t as large as fear told you it would be.  You discover that every time you fall down, every time it doesn’t work out like you thought it would, that every single failure, is just a way to show you a new viewpoint into what you are bringing into the worlds reality. You discover that failures are just stepping stones to greatness.

Do not let the fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach.  The world you desire can be won.  It exists  . .   it is real . . .  it is possible . . . it’s yours.

  – Ayn Rand

Every night you tossed and turned trying to figure out the right way, and all of the struggles you have or will go through, are in the end are the price tag of the ever expanding new you.  Each and every price tag that you pay for .. . every single failure, is what is leading you to the mastery of the idea, and the fulfillment of the concept.  The steps of the completion of the dream, becomes a part of the never ending journey to which we all sign up for.  You gain a true understanding of the words, “it is not the destination that matters, but who we are becoming along the way”.

Yes, I am a dreamer.  For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

  – Oscar Wilde

Dreamers Steer By The Stars, SO . . .

Follow your Dreams

Make a Wish

Dream Big

Take a Chance

Believe Big

Make a Change

Taste the Sky

Find the Fire Within

Follow Your Passion

Hold the Vision

Trust the Process

Don’t Be Afraid To Dance Your Own Dance Of Life

The JourneyBetween who you once wereand who you are becoming,Is where the Dance of Lifereally takes placeIn order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be.

  – The Dreamer

When you were this girls age, you had dreams about who you wanted to be when you grew up.  You may already have been singing, or dancing, or wanting to be a doctor or lawyer.  Between this age and actually growing up most of us have our dreams dashed in some way.  It may be that someone teases us that we can’t carry a tune, or we are doing the dance wrong.  Or maybe they tell us that we should choose a less challenging career than a doctor or lawyer, because we really aren’t that smart.  Or it could be more subtle where we are being directed by our parents into the career that they want for us.

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.  Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

  – Unknown

Along the way we also learn to hide who we are.  We learn that others judge us, so we put on masks to conform to who they want us to dress like, look like, act like.  We hide our dreams so that no one can destroy them any further.  We learn not to trust our hearts to be in others hands.  We give up on what is possible and settle for what is conforming to the needs of others.  We forget who we are and what we are here for.  We no longer take part in the dance of life, but settle back against the wall and watch those with more courage or talent dance it in front of us.

Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.

  – Unknown

There is only one way to truly know who you are deep down inside.  You have to get in touch with your own soul.  You need to be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and just listen.  Looking back at your life, find the places where you were really happy.  Find the things that are so easy for you to do, that others find hard or impossible.  Trace back all of the threads that have your name engraved upon them.  Start picking out and removing all of the threads that are not you.  Look for the gold and silver pieces and toss out the dross.  Now look for the patterns that are left.  The amazing thing is that it usually takes you back to this age.  The age when you acted out who you really were, before society broke you like a young colt and told you who to be.  The threads of genius that are all you, can now be taken up and made into whatever pattern you want.  It is never too late to be who you were meant to be.

To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul.  To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions. 

  – Deepak Chopra

Sometimes when you make this journey deep into our soul, we discover that our lives have to be completely shaking up.  We are covered in dust and debris that needs to be removed.  We need to rearrange almost everything.  Change almost everything.  We need to go to the place we are supposed to be.  A close friend of mine relocated from Los Angels to Italy and she loves it.  The best thing to do is to remove what doesn’t belong and then figure out how to rearrange what does.  It is an individual journey that defines who we are in a totally new way.  We discover our truth by looking for it down deep within and then integrating it into our life.  We are on a life adventure.  This journey is for you alone.  Embrace it and life it fully.

The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated.  It isn’t true that everyone should follow one path.  Listen to your own truth.

  – Ram Dass

There are some that will say that living your life purpose, is being selfish.  That we are ignoring the wishes of others.  But actually the reverse is true.  Each one of us was given as part of our life journey a divine destiny.  We were born into the place and the family that would give us the tools to accomplish this purpose.  Some of those life lessons come through adversity, some come as part of the journey of rediscovering who we are really meant to be.  But if we don’t take the risks, make the changes and transform our lives, then our destiny will not be fulfilled.  And we will not be living the life that God sent us here to live.  So it is actually selfish to not live up to our full potential.  To not find out who we are supposed to be.  To not utilize our power to its full capability. To not live out loud and up front our God given destiny.

. . . it’s a life’s journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else . . . 

  –  Mariska Hargitay

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