Every adventure starts out as a journey of self discovery. Part of the discovery is who you are deep down inside. As you learn about the parts of yourself that you have hidden away even from you – you will learn to face your own shadows.
“When you know yourself you are empowered. When you accept yourself you are invincible” – Tina Lifford
What are your shadows? They are the parts of you that you disowned as a child because you were made to feel that they weren’t acceptable. They peep out at you, when you see the same shadows in other people. What triggers you to instant anger, shame, rejection of others – there is your shadow. Once you face and embrace your own shadows, you will quit attracting them into your life experience of others.
“One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in, and where you want to go.” – Sheila Murray Bethel
The values you have at your core, also come from your childhood. Some of them are from your parents. You either choose to emulate their values or you could go 180 degrees in the opposite direction. For example, my mother used to say in complete truth for her, “Do as I say, not as I do.” One of my core values is not being a hypocrite, because this was a real hot button for me. My other core values of being truthful and honest, come from this same place. The one thing that I will not tolerate in my friends and family is being lied to.
“If you don’t know yourself, you don’t know your nature. If you don’t know your nature, you don’t know where to exist. By knowing your nature, knowing yourself, you know what to be and how to live. And that only comes from knowledge of self, knowing yourself.” – RZA
“Knowing yourself is life’s eternal homework” – Felicia Day
Part of really knowing yourself, is understanding what are your core values, and where did they originate? When you begin on the journey of self discovery you will find things that surprise you. You will find things that may dismay you. The great thing about this journey is that you have the ability to adopt new values, transform the existing values and basically transform your life from the inside out. You have the ability to attain self mastery.
“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision” – Neil Gaiman
Attaining true wisdom, means that you have invested in yourself. This means an investment in both time and money. Some things are easy to do by yourself. Some things are easier when you have a coach or mentor that can help you to see the things that you are blind to. You begin the journey to self enlightenment.
You can start your investment in reading books and eLearning for self education. Then you could add in a personal coach, begin taking courses with seminar or workshop programs. The investment in yourself helps you to explore your creativity, innovation, ideas for your life purpose. You learn how to plan and achieve goals with less effort. You learn what motivates you. How to brainstorm new ideas for the vision you have for your life.
“Your power comes from the courage in your heart and the passion in your soul. Feel it. Be it. Live it.” – Christine Arylo
Fear takes a partial bit of truth and then makes the worst catastrophe possible all around it and sells it to us as the absolute truth. Fear will try to hold you hostage to limiting beliefs about yourself. I have always loved this quote, because what you have identified as the fear is never the fear. It is in the investigation of what is hiding behind the fear, that you can truly identify and then release the real fear that is holding you back from your life.
Reality of Fear:
You’re not scared of the dark – you’re scared of what’s in it
You’re not afraid of heights – you’re afraid of falling
You’re not afraid of the people around you – you’re just afraid of rejection
You’re not afraid to love – you’re just afraid of not being loved back
You’re not afraid to let go – you’re just afraid to accept the reality that he’s gone
You’re not afraid to try again – you’re just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason
It is in being courageous that you accept that vulnerability, is what is going to help you get in touch with your true self. Everything you have experienced in life has a purpose. There are no mistakes or coincidences in your reading this today.
It’s time to focus on you. It’s time to commit to who you are beneath the surface. The world won’t stop spinning because people choose to not accept you, or understand who you are beneath the surface.
“To know yourself as the being behind the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.” – Eckhart Tolle
“You have to get new knowledge and force yourself to really implement what you’ve learned. You have to set boundaries in place for yourself. The important thing is if you don’t know real love, someone will teach you self hate.” – Tony Gaskins
Take swimming as an example. You can read a book about it. You can watch a video about it. You can watch others swim. But your actually learning how to swim means that you have to get into the water and experience how you can move through the water and not sink and drown. The important part of about truly knowing yourself, is the application of what you are learning through and from all of the different mediums.
“Knowing yourself has to always come from within. The outside can inspire or guide you, but knowing has to come from within you.” – Jaggi Vasudev
It’s about effecting real change deep inside of yourself. It’s about not just planting a seed of knowledge, it’s about watering it, weeding around it and pulling out the things that might stagnate or keep that seed from growing into a healthy plant. It’s about first transforming your inner world, and then your outer world, and then the whole wide world.
“The most important relationship we can all have is the one you have with yourself, the most important journey you can take is one of self-discovery. To know yourself, you must spend time with yourself, you must not be afraid to be alone. Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle
The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. As we share the lessons of each one’s individual journey, resilience is grown for everyone. Invest some time in yourself and join us for the next conversation and become even more inspired to reach out and pull your dreams into reality.
“And then one day I decided that hurry and stress were no longer going to be part of my life. Stress is self-created; I decided to stop manufacturing it. We can choose an internal calm and joy even amid the chaos” – Brendon Burchard
In times of uncertainty you tend to fill in the blanks in your life, so that you give yourself a feeling of some sort of control. I can’t control COVID-19; I can’t control political upheaval; I can’t control rioting in the streets.
But I can control what? Most people tend to talk to themselves in a negative way. Most people tend to answer chaos and uncertainty with more inner chaos. Instead try something different.
“Let there be an opening into the quiet that lies beneath the chaos, where you find the peace you did not think possible and see what shimmers within the storm.” – John O’Donohue
The question to ask yourself is – does this feed the chaos, or my inner peace? What you need is a change of consciousness. A decision to stop producing stress and instead choose inner calm and peace.
If everyone were to exercise these kinds of controls, it would end all wars, eliminate conflicts and prevent injustice.
“Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that even on hard days you know that there are better ones coming.” – QuotesCollective.com
“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” – Simple Reminders
Pinchmeliving.com has a great meme with 10 Truths You Need to Know for Inner-Peace & Happiness.
In finding your inner peace, the path leads through resilience. It’s about focusing on this present moment. You are trying to have an important phone call. One child is hugging you and the other wants you to pay attention to the cat. You have a choice in this moment. You can go into chaos and frustration, or you can practice resilience by hugging your daughter at the same time you are talking on the phone. You can practice resilience by telling your children to wait a few minutes, and they can have your complete attention. Then once their needs are filled, you can give them something to do, and go back to the work that you are doing.
Resilience has the component of compromise within it. When life throws lemons into your well planned schedule, you have a choice to practice resilience. You can focus on the negative things that just happened, with pain, anger, grief, and fear and let the bitterness eat at your soul. Or, you reach back into your resilience pool and focus on the present moment. Focus on what is still good in your situation. Focus on gratitude. Focus on peace. Focus on all of the magic that is still in your life.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
In a storm like a tornado or hurricane there is a calm center, in life you have to find this calm center deep within yourself. When everyone else is running around crazy, you do not have to buy into the chaos. It’s a matter of practice, but once you’ve been in this calm centeredness a few times, it becomes easy to immediately place that peace like a protective bubble around you. It really is a simple decision that anyone can make, to stand in the center of their own peace.
“We can weather anything if we stay calm in the eye of the storm” – Lolly Daskal
The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. As we share the lessons of each one’s individual journey, resilience is grown for everyone. Join us for the next conversation and become even more inspired to reach out and pull your dreams into reality.
“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don’t let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity” – R. I Fitzhenry
The uncertainty of life is what makes it so much fun. Uncertainty is fundamental in nature. It is a messy imperfection of life. But it is also the adventure of choosing a path and not knowing where it goes. It is the curiosity of going someplace new and imagining what you might discover about yourself in the process. I love the thought of this idea of not even knowing we have wings until they are forced into opening up. Unraveling feels so scary, like you are coming apart. But unless you reach that moment, the wings do not unfurl. They won’t appear until they are needed.
“It is how we embrace the uncertainty in our lives that leads to the great transformations of our souls” – Brandon A Dean
Has anyone ever said to you, “I don’t know how you do it” about something in your life?
The answer lies in realizing that you can handle anything when you aren’t given a choice. It defines who you are and who you are becoming, because every single choice is just that – a choice you make.
“Decisions are the endless uncertainties of life that we’ll not know if they’re right until the very end, so do the best you can and hope its right” – Lily Collins
“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss” – Eric Roth
There is something called the Uncertainty principle. It is part of quantum physics. It says that in the world of small particles, one cannot measure the property of the particle, without interacting with it in some way, which creates an unavoidable uncertainty into the result. Which means that the act of the observation of something, changes the thing irrevocably.
What this means in layman’s language is that the idea of a predictable future based on the choices you are making in this moment is impossible. You can guess at probable outcomes of a choice. Based on those probabilities, you can make flexible plans.
So for my choice of taking the “really lost” train track – there are a number of probabilities that would be reasons why the train isn’t going that way.
In the uncertainty principle for life, there is a grid for breaking down the complexity, volatility, ambiguity and risk of uncertainty. Gaining clarity defuses some of the uncertainty in life.
Ambiguity is like a sunrise just cresting the horizon. At first you can’t see clearly as everything still is shadowed. But the more that light is reflected out from the sun as it reaches higher in the sky, the more that what was in the shadows can be clearly seen. With ambiguity, gaining more knowledge about it creates clarity about it. Clarity also breaks down the complexity of the subject, as you can clearly see where things connect and don’t connect. The more you know, the easier it is to take volatility out of the equation.
“Clarity and simplicity are the antidotes to complexity and uncertainty” – General George Casey
Clarity starts with curiosity. Being open to exploring the unknown. It is the journey of self discovery of why you are here. Clarity comes with conviction and true originality. It is experienced in the stillness of the soul. Simplicity is ultimately a matter of focus in breaking down the complexity. The clarity of what your intentions are actually based on.
“Live your life as an exclamation, not as an explanation” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.
It is about taking the train track that will infuse your life with action. When you take a tea bag and put it in a cup of hot water, the hot water becomes infused with the tea in the bag and makes a cup of tea. The longer the bag is left in the cup, the stronger the tea becomes. Living your life as an exclamation point says that you aren’t sitting at home dreaming of making a choice on which track you are going to take. It means you are making the choice by getting on the track and forging forward. Put a period on the end of the choice. The period says you are making something happen. Be prepared to embrace change with each new step on your journey. When the track ends, start laying new track.
“Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible” – Mandy Hale
There is a Japanese Proverb that says, “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” This implies that you have some choice in the matter. Than if your mind focuses on other things than fear, that you can control how deep that fear is allowed to go. There is such beauty in the creation process. When I find the perfect quote and picture it gives me such joy. No one achieves full mastery. There is always another level to grow into. And with each new level there will be failures, growth, and beauty. So don’t wallow in the failures. Don’t allow the failures to stop you. Unfurl those wings and fly.
“Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later”– Bob Goff
You are writing your life journey, page by page, day by day. Sometimes in writing these blogs the title is the first thing I type. Other times it is the last thing I type. Don’t be afraid to make space for the unknown. Sometimes the feeling needs to be explored before you can name it. Life’s most precious gift is uncertainty. Cherish it. Life always unfolds perfectly if you let it.
I invite you to join us for our next Zoom call to explore how uncertainty is showing up in all of our lives right now. The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. As we share the lessons of each one’s individual journey, resilience is grown for everyone. Join us for the next conversation and become even more inspired to reach out and pull your dreams into reality.
“Transformation is often more about unlearning then learning” – Richard Rohr
When you were a little child you started forming your values based on how you were raised. As you grew older those values grew, changed and transformed based on your experience of life. Those values influence what you focus on as being important. They influence how you live your life. The reflect the reality you perceive and the behaviors you demonstrate in the daily living of your life.
“A mistake is an accident. Cheating and lying are not mistakes, they are intentional choices. Stop hiding behind the word mistake when you get caught” – The Coach from Raise Your Mind
Being imperfect, you will make mistakes along the way. You will make bad decisions, bad choices. Some of those will be intentional based on your fears. Some you won’t realize are intentional. This is because your subconscious is self sabotaging you due to it’s fear of what might happen if you do the right thing.
Your values if you have chosen them intentionally, will assist you in your life journey to achieve the goals you set for yourself. Your values will also excuse your choices as a mistake, or will accept that you intentionally made that wrong choice and try to do better in the future.
At first the goals we form are all education types of choices.
Unforeseen tragedies can shift your values and focus, such as when my nephew was murdered. Any kind of major unexpected life event can significantly transform your life. In my case, LemonadeMakers was a direct result of my own life event.
“The Hero’s Journey is a concept to describe people’s self-perception when they are in a growth process” – Unknown
When life events cause you to question everything in your life, you have entered upon a Hero’s Journey. It is common for fears to crop up. Grief creates a whirlpool of emotions, you blame yourself for everything falling apart. You question all of your life values as being incomplete, unstable, and not good enough. You push feelings deep down inside of you.
“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others choices make us” – Richie Norton
Transforming your life is a process with a lot of ups and downs. Intentional living can help you to sort out what values you are keeping and what values you are letting go as they were adopted as habits from those you lived with. What’s vitally critically important is that you stop standing in the ruins of your life. That you acknowledge the impact of what happened. Make choices that mean something for you in your life and “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater”.
“Transformation isn’t sweet and bright. It’s a dark and murky, painful pushing. An unraveling of the untruths you’ve carried in your body. A practice in facing your own created demons. A complete uprooting, before becoming” – Victoria Erickson
The thing that you fear the most isn’t powerful in and of itself. Your being in fear of it is what makes it seem powerful. Facing the truth instead of pushing it away, takes your power back from the fear. The Hero’s Journey is a time of self reflection.
“I traded easy answers for honest questions. Replaced being judgmental with open-hearted curiosity. Stopped warring with myself and found peace with others. I burned all the old maps and then discovered my true path” – John Mark Green
Run to whatever inside of you is hiding. Pay attention to what is triggering responses inside of you. Who or what is making you angry? What is triggering the arguments you are having with others? That is what you need to follow, to find the honest answers about what inside of you is calling out for transformation.
“It’s not about perfect. It’s about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs” – Jillian Michaels
This can be viewed as a spiritual journey. It is a path of recovery of those values that you should keep, and a time of personal growth for the new values that come from the release of past negative beliefs and actions you have uncovered in your transformation journey. Through the struggle of uncovering the false beliefs and values in your life you gain strength to continue your journey.
“Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional” – Glenda Cloud
It is comparable to when the caterpillar has transformed into the butterfly in the chrysalis and is ready to break out and take flight. There is first the struggle to break out of the chrysalis and then spread the wings to dry – this process strengthens the wings allowing the butterfly to gain the strength to actually fly.
The past couple of months has challenged all of us. This has been an unforeseen tragedy for everyone. There has been drastic changes in being forced to stay home. Work from home. Loss of income. If you are a first responder the fear of contracting the virus, both for yourself and your loved ones. Not being able to hold funerals for those loved ones that passed away. Children staying home from school and being home schooled by parents. So many challenges and struggles that will be continuing for some time in the future. Just not knowing what’s next.
These challenges create a lot of frustration and other negative emotions. It certainly impacts your values.
“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it . . , This will miraculously transform your whole life” – Echkart Tolle
The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. Join us for the next conversation and become even more inspired to reach out and pull your dreams into reality.
“Missing puzzle pieces do more than complete the puzzle. They fill in an empty space” – Luanne Rice
Have you ever been working on a puzzle for days or weeks and you get to the end and there is one piece missing? How did that make you feel? Did you move furniture, sweep under cupboards, and generally take the room apart looking for that last piece to complete the picture? Have you ever taken the extreme measure of taking a photo and sending it to the puzzle manufacturer to see if they can send you that missing piece?
If you found the missing piece underneath something, how excited were you to fit it into place? It’s like a state of grace settles over you. Calmness. A feeling that all is right in the world in that moment. The adrenaline settles down, the anxiety or frustration of lost hours of work dissipates.
Sometimes in life you you will miss an opportunity. You didn’t recognize it or maybe you were so busy with the chaos of life, that you totally didn’t see it. Then when you do realize it, you kick yourself over missing it. You may feel like you did with the missing puzzle piece that you looked everywhere to find, that you are now an incomplete picture and everything you’ve been doing up til now is just a big waste of time and effort.
What is wonderful about opportunities in real life, is that there is always another new door just waiting to be opened. I love the saying that “opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor” as it signifies how important it is to be looking for them. You can’t find them if you are not looking for them. Looking for opportunities within your dreams or aspirations are the perfect place to find them.
“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes then learn how to do it later” – Unknown
Opportunities are supposed to grow you. If you will only take on what you know 100% for sure you can do, where is the growth?
I always think of cats. Some are a living example of grace. They will stretch themselves out in leaping up a tree or a fence. And whether they make it or land on the ground, they always land on their feet ready to try again. Other cats are always hiding, afraid of everything. So which kind of cat are you? The one taking the leap of faith, confident of landing on your feet? Or are you the one hiding under the bed shaking in terror, letting those scary opportunity pass you by?
“You walk in grace or you walk in fear. You can’t have it both ways”– Carlos Santana
When you are young, you think that you have all of the time in the world to explore a myriad of opportunities. But this is an illusion. Don’t waste time looking backwards. You aren’t going that way. Don’t waste time by constantly day dreaming about the future. You haven’t arrived there yet, and when you do so many things will have happened between this moment and that future, that you won’t even recognize you have arrived.
You need to let go of what no longer serves you and live in the present moment, where the opportunities are. You need to live in this present moment in order to make space for what is new to come in. When you are not in resistance, the illusion of time “taking forever” is released.
“To turn inward, to be courageous and trust our heart – to lean into our independent judgment – a brilliant opportunity we ignore too often” – Amy Jalapeno
In today’s world problems seem to be multiplying like bunny rabbits.
“The chaos doesn’t end, you kinda just become the calm”– Nikki Rowe
Grace changes everything. It gives you the space to go inward and out of the chaos. To reconnect with your heart and soul. By leaning into intuition and independent judgment you begin to see a way forward. I read a story that gives a great example of this. Look at movie theaters. Most people will not want to go into the closed space of a movie theater for several hours to watch a movie. And while the day of the drive ins seemed to be past, they now have the opportunity to make a comeback.
In Germany an architect wanted to create the communal aspects of watching a movie as a group. So he launched Windows Flicks, which projects a movie on large exterior building walls. People living in apartment complex’s can watch through windows, patios, or balcony’s and drink a glass of wine and take in a movie while practicing social distancing.
What kinds of projects might you brainstorm for reinventions of businesses that may be facing extinction? The architect in Germany is fundraising for the German cinema industry, so he was able to both provide a reinvention of watching a movie with others and supporting a business that needs to reinvent itself. This crisis might be giving you the opportunity to reinvent your life in some way – will you take a leap of faith, or hide under the bed scared?
“She has fire in her soul, and grace in her heart” – Unknown
I love this concept. It takes a fire in your soul to put actions to your dreams. To keep walking your sacred path to your destiny, even when it feels like the sky is falling. Grace from the heart tempers this fire, so that it is the exact amount of heat to get your feet moving. Grace changes everything.
The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. Join us for the next conversation and become even more inspired to reach out and pull your dreams into reality.
Your future dreams are being held in the gift of time. When divine timing thinks you are ready, your dreams will unfold, one by one.
How can you make progress so that you can draw your dreams into reality?
You can stop thinking that ignoring your negative emotions will make them go away. What happens instead is that they become buried deep within you and start roots. Those roots manifest themselves in your being triggered every time someone else’s behavior mirrors that same emotion. Each root becomes an anchor designed to hold you in place, which keeps you from growing into who you are capable of becoming.
At this point in your journey you are being given time to dig up all of those roots. When you expose them to the light of day, they will shrivel up and turn to dust. How do you expose them?
Encourage yourself by looking for what is working in your life at this moment. What things can you be in the space of gratitude in your life right now? Where do you see room for more of your potential to come out and shine? Ask those who know and love you where your greatness is if you can’t see it for yourself.
Realize that it takes time to heal and go through all of the stages of grief. The stages of grief don’t only apply to the loss of a loved one in death. It also applies to divorce, loss of a job, most kinds of trauma, even to children leaving home to go off to college. Take whatever time is required to unpack all of your baggage.
Understand what life lessons are there, and what needs to be let go of because it doesn’t serve you any longer. It takes time to peel back all of the parts of you that don’t belong to you. It takes time to expose and accept the parts of you that you have hidden away. Your life can’t be transformed by waving a magic wand and poof you’ve changed. It is changed step by step, bit by bit, day by day.
When life falls apart, you think that everything can be solved by just going home again. You think that “going home again” is about a place. But it isn’t. Those memories of home are all based on a time, which is in the past. It is why you cannot truly “go home again”. So this chasing of home is not about a place. “Going home again” is more about you chasing a feeling of love, security. Something that you feel will help you cope with whatever life is currently throwing at you.
“Productivity is how you run away from yourself. Creativity is how you become yourself” – Brianna Wiest
When life throws you lemons, you think that you need to do something. You just don’t know what that something is. You think that you’re waiting for help. You think that if you ask everyone, someone will tell you what the right thing to do is. Even though, at the back of your mind, you already know what that is. So all that you’re really waiting for, is a time when you’re forced to do it.
When life has fractured you into pieces I want you to remember these things:
Instead of judging yourself by all of your shortcomings or things you failed to do, why not instead let your life be defined by how much you are loved by others. Repair your foundation in life, your core beliefs and values. Rebuild and repair your cracked walls and ceilings, as represented by your archetype’s and the labels you identify yourself by. Sweep up the broken glass and create a mosaic of your life with gold filling in the gaps, these represent windows that you look out of – how your see your world. Remember you are made of beautiful things.
“You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere wonderful – or where you always wanted to be. You will be grateful that things didn’t work out the way you once wanted them to” – Brianna Wiest
Life is a journey. There are patterns you will see as you travel to your many destinations. Life is sometimes remarkable, sometimes terrible, sometimes strange and yet hauntingly beautiful. Look for the surprises underneath the wrapping paper. When the moments of despair happen (and they will happen) bring out all of your beautiful memories and hold them close. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now, that this storm will also pass.
The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. Join us for the next conversation and become even more inspired to reach out and pull your dreams into reality.
“Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious” – Rachel Wolchin
You are hearing these words a lot in todays media – “Out of an abundance of caution”. It is almost always followed by something that is being cancelled or changing to an online streaming event. The city of San Jose required that Tony Robbins cancel his upcoming event in March “Out of an abundance of caution”. When you hear those words “out of an abundance of caution” how does it feel to the energy in your body? Is is constrictive? Restrictive? Does it feel like the turtle pulling in his head and legs so that all you can see is a hard shell?
“Don’t adapt to the energy in the room. Influence the energy in the room” – FabQuote.co
You have dreams, desires, and ambition for your life. You have goals that you want to bring to fruition this week; this month; and this year. When you live your life from that kind of positive energy, it attracts others who feel the same. You experience movement, progress unlike the turtle who is motionless, hiding in his shell. If you live your life from “an abundance of caution” what you will experience is being motionless, frozen in time and space. It is important to surround yourself with people who not only live from a space of abundance, but an abundance that is expansive, not contractive.
“The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself” – Unknown
Words and music both have an energy that plays with your emotions. I can listen to a sound track of almost any movie and immediately feel the emotions that they are creating. If I have seen the movie I can see the scene itself. Here is where someone was in danger – here is where they were really happy – here is where their heart was broken. The words we hear also impact us emotionally. Negative words will drain your energy and introduce fear into your spirit. Fear itself is like a virus that will grow and take over your life if you are not aware of it being inside your energy field. It contracts you just like that turtle to hide away. To be safe.
“Stick with people who pull the magic out of you, not the madness” – Unknown
Instead be like the eagle. When the storm breaks most birds fly to a safe tree branch to hide from the weather. But not the eagle. The eagle flies above the storm. So be like an eagle and fly above the madness you see happening around you. Feel the positive energy of the eagle as you fly with it, above the madness of the storm and into the magic above it. The magic happens when you attract other positive energy people around you, as you support each other reaching up into the heights.
Here is some good advice from Vex King to protect your positive energy:
“Let me remind you: Wherever your focus is directed that’s where your energy goes. Whatever you allow in your space, you eventually become” – Overlyxclusive
So when the world goes mad, fly high above the madness. Self direct your energy instead of letting it be manipulated by negative fearful people. The media spreads the virus of fear, making everything “breaking news”. Stop letting anyone else control your mind, your feelings, and emotions. Remember what you focus on determines the reality that you are currently experiencing. It is easy to let the negative mind take over with possible world ending scenarios that expand your fears until you can no longer think logically. The secret is to focus on what builds up, not what tears down.
“She was unstoppable not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she continued despite them” – Beau Taplin
So match your own personal energy to that you want to attract in your life. Positive thoughts change your experience of life. Every smile, every loving word, every kind action are reflections of who you are. So dream BIG, stay FOCUSED, work HARD, be KIND.
“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you” – Unknown
In April of 2010 around 11 PM as my nephew and a friend were cutting across the park to go to his friends mom’s house the first shot was fired. As my nephew was hit, he yelled at his friend to run. When the second shot hit my nephew his friend started running. As the third shot hit my nephew and he crumpled to the ground his friend stopped, turned around and saw the shooter emerge from the bushes and take off running.
His friend helped him up and somehow got my nephew to his moms house and they called 911 for an ambulance. The doctors tried to get a lifeline helicopter but the fog that night was too thick for the helicopter. After working on him for over an hour, they thought they had him stable enough for transport to another hospital 30-45 min away. As my sister tried to catch up to the ambulance driving over the mountain pass, they phoned her to tell her to turn around. My nephew had died in route.
Let’s go back in time to the beginning of this fateful Friday. My nephew woke up early and grabbed his surfboard. On the way to Lighthouse field he stopped and gave away some breakfast sandwiches he had made to several homeless guys as he checked in on them. It was a regular routine for him to encourage them to quit drinking and take back control over their lives. He then went on to meeting one of his best friends at Lighthouse Field. His friend was going to film him surfing. The waves were supposed to be really good and he had this trick he had been working on for some time. He wanted to have it filmed so he could see what it looked like. The waves were as predicted and he nailed his trick.
From there he went to work at O’Neils Surf shop. Then he met another friend and together they went to another friends house. Close to 11 PM they started across the park so he could get his bike and ride home. Then “Shots Fired” happened. A random gang banger shooting. The shooter never said a word. He just blew up our world from the cover of darkness for no reason that we could ever understand.
“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us” – suburbanment.com
Fast forward a few years. Our family is still recovering from my nephews murder. My sister started a non-profit Mother Grizzles Against Gangs, but she ran out of money and closed it down.
Santa Cruz Sentinel 2014> "Four years ago this month, JoAnn Tennent lost her only child in a shooting near Grandview Street in Santa Cruz. Carl Reimer was 19, and no one has been arrested in his homicide. Wednesday evening outside Santa Cruz City Hall, Tennent shared her grief with more than 80 people gathered at the third annual Victims Rights March of Solidarity. She also carried a message of hope and strength to stand together against gangs and violence in Santa Cruz County. “Carl wasn't just my son, he was your son. Because all your children are my children too,” she said. “When someone takes someone from your life, it's devastating. We can't just act like this doesn't happen.” As part of National Crime Victims” Rights Week, the march started at Santa Cruz County Superior Court at 701 Ocean St. and ended at city hall. Participants held pictures of loved ones who had fallen victim to crime in the county, and they marched with posters with slogans such as “Stop gang violence” and “Violence does not only affect the victim.”"
As a coping mechanism I had started writing to heal my sadness and grief. I was posting things on my personal Facebook page that I was writing. I thought just maybe it would help my friends and family. We were all rebuilding our lives around Carl’s loss.
“if you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed” – Unknown
A lot of people started commenting and sharing what I was writing and they encouraged me to do more. And so this LemonadeMaker page was born. I named it LemonadeMaker because I believe that we are all making lemonade out of life’s lemons. It all started as part of my own recovery, and it grew into a life purpose. It’s a vast vision, a dream that I work to fulfill every day. It’s a calling. Although we lost someone we loved so much – the day of his death was also a day that Carl was following his own dreams. He had a great morning. He was really stoked that he had nailed his trick with his surfboard. He wasn’t leaving his dreams for someday I will . . . , he was living them on purpose.
“In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths” – Quoteslife101.net
I looked at my life and realized I wasn’t doing the same. I was putting off my dreams for when I retired. For later. So when I started LemonadeMakers it was for the purpose of realizing my dreams of being a game changer. Of being an influencer. Of helping others to fulfill their dreams now. Because none of us are promised a later to do it in.
Steven Pressfield stated in “The Art of War”, that most of us have two lives; the lives we live and the lives we are capable of living.
5 years later LemonadeMakers has almost 100,000 followers. This happened because I saw something positive to retrieve from the ashes of my grief. My nephew left me a trail to follow and I have been walking down it ever since. It has totally changed my life. I had put off the dream of writing, because my mind fears said I would fail. Obviously that wasn’t true. I had told myself for years that I was an introvert and couldn’t communicate with strangers. Too my surprise this was also totally not true. How many mind fears – lies – are you listening too instead of pursuing your dreams?
Don’t put your dreams off to tomorrow. Start fulfilling them today. Live the life you are capable of living.
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“Sometimes, thing don’t go as planned. Life doesn’t always go the way you hope it will. You can’t plan everything. Life takes you where it wants to – you’re pretty much just along for the ride! Just breathe – Re-Evaluate – Step out of the box – Forgive – Be grateful.” – Namala Lakesh
I believe in plans. But I also believe in being flexible. I believe in taking stock and making constant adjustments. It’s like a sailboat. You are subject to winds and currents, but with the rudder and sails, you have the ability to maneuver into the direction you want to go. Which is why I love the way I plan out my month and year. I make plans and then as life happens I see where I need to make adjustments. To re-evaluate what is really most important in the current time and space to accomplish. That’s why I am sharing this system with all of you. It works!
“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails.” – Elizabeth Edwards
Sometimes things happen in the reverse order of your expectations. The patience comes in because you automatically put expectations on the plans. You visualize them out step by step, and then life happens. You lose you job, the promised promotion and/or raise doesn’t materialize. Someone close to you is faced with a critical medical diagnosis. The money you had planned for vacation now has to go to put in new plumbing. In short, life happens. You need to adjust your sails.
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” – Michael Jordan
Sometimes obstacles are like the monsters under the bed. You hear a noise. Your imagination runs wild. Your heartbeat goes out of control. Suddenly you are screaming. And it was all in your head. Other times they are legitimate. I remember one of the contestants in America’s Got Talent had been a singer, then tragedy struck. She went deaf from a medical condition. She stopped singing and gave up her career.
“Our life doesn’t always turn out the way we planned, but sometimes that’s because what we planned wasn’t suppose to be our life.” – Gdonell
Mandy said in an interview, “I made the mistake of associating my entire identity with one single dream, and when that dream died, I very much felt like I died. I became a husk of a person for awhile.”
“Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes heading in a new direction can be scary until you realize you’re headed toward a new and exciting destination.” – Susan Cole
Then she got an electric tuner and spent 10 hours learning to sing each note perfectly. “I couldn’t believe it”, she says, “My perfect pitch and muscle memory all came together.” Mandy Harvey.
“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.” – Michele Ruiz
Then one day she decided to stop fighting against her dreams and start fighting for them. She began writing her own songs and singing again. She discovered that this real obstacle could be overcome. She discovered that a big chunk of the real obstacle was in her own mind. Singing a song she composed she got sent straight through to the finals on America’s Got Talent. She finished fourth.
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, and let go and see what happens.” – Mandy Hale
If you take a good honest look at your life so far, you will see times where what you had planned fell apart – and that it was a good thing. You underestimated what you were are capable of. You made plans that were far too limiting in regards to your potential. When you let go of the expectation of the plan, and how it should go – and instead learned to feel your way with intuition, amazing things happened.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
You discover hidden talents. You uncover better ways to expand your comfort zones. So when the path you are walking on changes direction, don’t be afraid to keep going. When the sign says “dead end” don’t be afraid to go off the path and create your own. When the wind blows you backwards, grab a tree and hold on. When life challenges you to sit it out, get up and fight to keep moving forward.
“If we can just let go and trust that things will work out the way they’re supposed to, without trying to control the outcomes, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.” – Goldie Hawn
LemonadeMakers is hosting a monthly free class on goals, resolutions, plans – whatever you want to call your means of change and transformation in your life. We discuss on a live Zoom call what is happening that is working and not working. Ideas to try to get us motivated to change and transform our lives. Where we might re-evaluate our plans. How to adjust our sails.
We invite you to join with us the first Saturday of every month. The next class registration is opening today. Come join us! Click on the box to register now.
“A pivot is a change in strategy without a change in vision” – Eric Ries
All around the world people make plans. They set goals. They build on their dreams. Every year brings us some of the same goals and maybe a few new ones. For the majority of us that is as good as it gets. Why? Because sometime in January or February or maybe even March our willpower begins to fade out. We slow down. We procrastinate and put it off for next month. We tell ourselves what’s the hurry? I have all year to get this done.
“How can you see things differently here? Your next level of success wants to know” – Heathere Evans
What if this year you do something unique? What if you pivot instead?
What if you do something different?
“You can only succeed. You cannot fail. Failure is impossible . . , an illusion. . , Nothing. Everything moves the human story. . , forward. Everything advances you on your journey” – Neal Donald Walsh
Thinking back to secondary education (Jr. High, High School or College) did you get assignments done when they were assigned or when they were due? How many late night cram sessions did you have to do to finish a paper that you had weeks to complete but waited until the last minute?
The majority of us were late night crammers. And that is one of the things that leads us to fail in our new years resolutions, goals, and plans. Not fail as in we can’t do it, but fail as in we decide to quit trying to do it. When you make goals with the intention of being accomplished within 12 months, you will delude yourself that you have plenty of time until there isn’t any time, and then you will quit. Why?
When you are out of integrity with yourself it will play out in your life
Because unlike school when you would have failed a class and then been grounded by a parent, you are only lying to yourself. The problem with lying to ourselves though, is that we are then out of integrity with ourselves and it will play out in our life. Every time we say we are going to do something, that negative voice will say – “yeah right – I know that I am not really going to accomplish this, so why waste any time or effort in pretending.”
“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here” – Steve Jobs
This year what if instead of a 1 year plan, why don’t you do something different? Do a weekly plan. You choose how many weeks you want to plan for. 12 weeks is sufficient to work in a new positive habit. For most goals it gives us enough time to plan out how to accomplish it. If the goal needs more than 12 weeks such as education, we can plan out major steps that can be accomplished within 12 weeks.
“A vision and strategy aren’t enough. The long-term key to success is execution. Each day. Every day” – Richard M Kovacevich
Get out your pencil and three pieces of paper, For this exercise I want you to limit yourself to three goals. Write one goal on each sheet of paper.
“How does the WHY relation to the vision” – Simon Sinek
Now write down some steps that would need to happen in order for you to accomplish your goal. As an example, you might want to go back to school to get a degree for a change in your career or to help you advance further in your degree. Since this is probably more than 1 year, plan out 3 steps that can be accomplished within the chosen number of weeks.
“Time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped . . , living with the results of others people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise . . , drown out your own inner voice. . , have the courage to follow your heart and intuition” – Steven Jobs
You must also write down the WHY this goal is important to you. What dream is it helping you accomplish? How do you feel about that dream? What emotions does it create deep inside of you? What is the importance of it to you – not anyone else? If it isn’t pulling you to complete it, it’s not really your goal. Keep digging until you reach that place where the dream hooks you. Then do the following step.
Only list three steps that can be accomplished within the chosen timeframe. Our goals should always be driven to our life purpose. To move forward into who we are meant to be, who we are becoming. Otherwise it is just wasting our time, effort and money.
Always check in with our inner guidance system, and follow where that is leading us. There will always be some positive emotions, some connection – it will lead us if we get quiet and listen and feel for it.
“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle” – Steve Jobs
For a budget goal, you could plan out goals for each pay period. Weekly, biweekly, monthly – according to the time frame your paychecks arrive.
Continue in a similar manner for your third goal. What is so cool about this pivot is that you can play with it to see what number of weeks works for you. The budget goal for example will continue all year long. You will have accomplishments for each time period that you are working through. Celebrate each milestone – it is what fuels you to the next milestone and gets you over the disappointments when life happens and creates havoc in accomplishing our dreams.
“Our vision is actionable only if we share it. Without sharing, it’s just a figment of our imagination” – Simon Sinek
You are invited to a virtual get together. Let’s share some ideas and concepts of how you can make 2020 the year of focus and vision for you. Working together with the synergy of a group, you will learn how to create your own personalized dream map, claim your own unique goals of change and transformation; refine them into goal crushing gremlins; and finally, to truly understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
“If the challenge we face doesn’t scare us, then it’s probably not that important” – Simon Sinek
Click below to get started.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. So take a second and think about what I wrote up above. Did you take out paper and pencil or did you just read through it thinking that you would come back later and do it?
What I also know about myself is that if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. I will answer the questions and get my brain thinking and planning. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Commit to your dreams. Travel down a clear path to your date with destiny.
“Have goals, Chase dreams, but do not let your Happiness depend on their achievement” – Manoj Arora
There is a promise today that we can achieve happiness from living a better life. It might be taking certain herbs, oils or medications. The promise of living a vegan, vegetarian, paleo lifestyle, that somehow having a special diet will make us feel happier. Detoxing from all electronics. Living a simple lifestyle, purging our homes of all the material things others think make them happier. They all promise to somehow give us more energy and therefore more happiness.
You might still buy into that vision of being super woman – the woman that can balance raising children, maintain a pristine “Better Homes & Garden” home, successfully climb the corporate ladder, and still wear the sexy lingerie every night. Who can be the soccer mom, volunteer at school. and bake homemade cookies for the classroom. That mom who schedules and drives to every doctor appointment, after school activity, and social event.
“Sweetheart, marry your goals. Remain committed to success and be loyal to your dreams. It’s okay to choose yourself” – r.h. Sin
Focus on what matters
You are so busy chasing perfection, that happiness when it briefly touches you, it is lost as a momentary endorphin high. With each hit, we immediately start seeking the next one.
“Don’t chase your dreams . . , Instead . . , Hunt your goals” – Preeya
Instead of moving immediately to the next thing on your list, sit on the feelings of happiness. Notice those moments of being grateful, relaxed, and appreciated that come from being happy. Feel it completely. Focus on the joy.
Like taking that first bite of your favorite food, savor the feeling from the top of your body down to your toes. Taking the time to fully experience happiness converts it from a temporary endorphin high to making it a lasting change in your mind and mood.
“She loves – the smell of coffee; blooming roses; and new beginnings” – Unknown
There is this balance of being happy from when you get a raise, and the happiness of completing a complex long term goal. The first one lifts your mood (an endorphin high) – like a favorite song that makes you want to sing and dance. The second one is deeply fulfilling because it was difficult to achieve. The amount of happiness in your life is dependent on the quality of your thoughts.
The question to ask yourself is “what is your definition” of a life well lived? All you will get from chasing perfection is exhaustion. Get curious about what makes you happy? Your current circumstances have nothing to do with your current state of happiness or lack thereof. Ask yourself where your passion comes from? What gives you joy?
“Do not chase another human being. Instead, chase your curiosity. Chase your development and your goals. Chase your passion. Strive to work for something bigger than yourself, and instead of trying to convince someone that you fit within their world – build your own” – Bianca Sparacino
It’s the little things that create a lasting happiness.
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you” – Deepak Chopra
Make your own list of little things that make you happy and include those things with every goal you create. You will find it easier to start each new goal and to build and keep momentum in accomplishing each goal. It’s vitally important to remember that the goals you set are not a final destination.
“There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that comes from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence” – Deepak Chopra
Goals, dreams and visions are a part of the journey, not your final destination. The combination of the quality of goals you set for yourself and how they expand your comfort zone creates who you are becoming. It is the self knowledge that each experience reveals to you that tells you where you are on your journey of self knowledge. It is walking in the direction of your life’s purpose that brings in lasting happiness.
I invite you to join us on February 1st for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement.
Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
Instead of just thinking “I could do this” come and find out just how much you can do, confront your deepest fears. Stop playing small. Shine out in all of your brilliance. Give yourself permission to be all that you can be in 2020.
They say that we all have at least one book inside of us. It could be a biography; a cookbook; gardening; crafts; fiction or nonfiction. You could write science fiction, mystery, comedy, drama and so on. You might have overcome tragedy and write about how you did it. All kinds of ideas can come creeping inside of your head on what you would want to pass on to the next generation. Lessons learns that can help others live a happier more fulfilled life.
“Your entire life journey ultimately consists of the steps you are taking at this very moment” – S. Williams
You might look at the goal of writing a book and shrink back. It’s going to take a lot of time and sacrifice to write. It might not be, no – it definitely won’t be any good. The publishers will reject it and then I will have wasted all of that time and effort. You might come up with a million reasons and excuses on why not – but what if you did it for the one right reason? What reason?
You have a story to tell
What if this year is different and you choose to tell it? How could you make it happen? How do you make any kind of big hairy audacious goal happen? The same way the joke says that you eat an elephant – one bite at a time.
“The secret of living is to find a pivot, the pivot of a concept on which you can make a stand” – Luigi Pirandello
A pivot to me is an about face movement. A turning point. A radical way of viewing something that expands your universe as well as your personal space. It is the realization that we are all the same, yet at the same time you have the ability to be your own unique person. It is the understanding that one size does not fit all, and you have the gift of being able to alter any situation into one that does fit the one of a kind “YOU”.
“Your vision helps you focus on your dreams” – Chris D Costello
So what is your big dream? Writing a book? Making a change in your career? Going back to school? Moving someplace far away? Traveling to see the world? What is on your bucket list? What’s holding you back? The typical answers are time and money. You might have one but not the other. But that isn’t really what is holding you back. Fear is what does it.
Chase one rabbit at a time
There is a proverb that says that if you chase two rabbits, you won’t catch either one. Maybe one of the issues with New Years Resolutions is that we are all chasing more than one rabbit? That’s what I love about the idea of changing the time frame from a yearly resolution to a smaller time frame. You can chase one rabbit at a time.
“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create” – Budda
So this year try something new. Take your goal, you big hairy audacious goal, and put it into bite size chunks. It could be one week at a time, four weeks at a time; twelve weeks at a time – you decide what works for you. Say for example you want to write a book. Start with a story line – Who is your hero? Your protagonist? What are their stories? Their dreams of life and their failures. Sketch them out – families, school, work, friends.
Focus means: F-ollow; O-ne; C-ourse; U-ntil; S-uccess – Unknown
Start with a three hour block of time per week. You can have one three hour block of time, or three one hour blocks. Do what you know you can commit to. Keep a notebook with you to write down thoughts and ideas as they occur to you. Write down your dreams the minute you wake up, because your subconscious is going to start working in your favor. It’s going to give you whole scenes to write down.
“Success occurs when your dreams get bigger than your excuses”– Unknown
Your story is based on who you become in your lifetime. It is based on small decisions and large ones. It is based on what life throws your way and what you throw back. It is based on what you create out of what you have been given. When I was first married my husband went to an auction with one of his friends. He came home with a box. It was a random box of stuff that they auctioned unopened. Inside was stuff you probably would have thrown away and not even given to the goodwill.
What can I make out of this?
I was mad at first that he wasted his money. Then I became determined to do something positive and useful with this box of stuff. I took apart all of the material from the clothes inside the box and created a baby quilt out of it for our first child. I still think of that today whenever life has given me a box of stuff I think I can’t use. I take it apart and say, now what can I make out of this?
“When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid” – Audre Lorde
So what is your vision? What is your three most critical things to do with your life in 2020? What is your plan to get it done? Almost one month down, how is your focus on getting it done?
What distractions and obstacles are showing up in your life at this moment?
“Successful people spend 10% of their time focused on the problems and 90% of the rest, focused on the solution” – Tony Robbins
From a solution perspective, how do you live your life on purpose? A key ingredient is knowing when to pivot, to rethink your plan, while still accomplishing your goals. It’s a new year – you have made some plans, goals, or resolutions for 2020. Is it already time to pivot? To rethink your plan?
Don’t waste any more time
Don’t waste any more time avoiding your dreams or thinking that they are impossible. Pick them up and make them a priority for 2020.
I invite you to join us on March 7th for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement. Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
During the call you will have the opportunity to create, find a pivot or two, reimagine and refuel your life dreams.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Join us and turn your breadcrumbs into a clear path to your date with destiny.