“Sometimes, thing don’t go as planned. Life doesn’t always go the way you hope it will. You can’t plan everything. Life takes you where it wants to – you’re pretty much just along for the ride! Just breathe – Re-Evaluate – Step out of the box – Forgive – Be grateful.” – Namala Lakesh
I believe in plans. But I also believe in being flexible. I believe in taking stock and making constant adjustments. It’s like a sailboat. You are subject to winds and currents, but with the rudder and sails, you have the ability to maneuver into the direction you want to go. Which is why I love the way I plan out my month and year. I make plans and then as life happens I see where I need to make adjustments. To re-evaluate what is really most important in the current time and space to accomplish. That’s why I am sharing this system with all of you. It works!
“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails.” – Elizabeth Edwards
Sometimes things happen in the reverse order of your expectations. The patience comes in because you automatically put expectations on the plans. You visualize them out step by step, and then life happens. You lose you job, the promised promotion and/or raise doesn’t materialize. Someone close to you is faced with a critical medical diagnosis. The money you had planned for vacation now has to go to put in new plumbing. In short, life happens. You need to adjust your sails.
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” – Michael Jordan
Sometimes obstacles are like the monsters under the bed. You hear a noise. Your imagination runs wild. Your heartbeat goes out of control. Suddenly you are screaming. And it was all in your head. Other times they are legitimate. I remember one of the contestants in America’s Got Talent had been a singer, then tragedy struck. She went deaf from a medical condition. She stopped singing and gave up her career.
“Our life doesn’t always turn out the way we planned, but sometimes that’s because what we planned wasn’t suppose to be our life.” – Gdonell
Mandy said in an interview, “I made the mistake of associating my entire identity with one single dream, and when that dream died, I very much felt like I died. I became a husk of a person for awhile.”
“Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes heading in a new direction can be scary until you realize you’re headed toward a new and exciting destination.” – Susan Cole
Then she got an electric tuner and spent 10 hours learning to sing each note perfectly. “I couldn’t believe it”, she says, “My perfect pitch and muscle memory all came together.” Mandy Harvey.
“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.” – Michele Ruiz
Then one day she decided to stop fighting against her dreams and start fighting for them. She began writing her own songs and singing again. She discovered that this real obstacle could be overcome. She discovered that a big chunk of the real obstacle was in her own mind. Singing a song she composed she got sent straight through to the finals on America’s Got Talent. She finished fourth.
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, and let go and see what happens.” – Mandy Hale
If you take a good honest look at your life so far, you will see times where what you had planned fell apart – and that it was a good thing. You underestimated what you were are capable of. You made plans that were far too limiting in regards to your potential. When you let go of the expectation of the plan, and how it should go – and instead learned to feel your way with intuition, amazing things happened.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
You discover hidden talents. You uncover better ways to expand your comfort zones. So when the path you are walking on changes direction, don’t be afraid to keep going. When the sign says “dead end” don’t be afraid to go off the path and create your own. When the wind blows you backwards, grab a tree and hold on. When life challenges you to sit it out, get up and fight to keep moving forward.
“If we can just let go and trust that things will work out the way they’re supposed to, without trying to control the outcomes, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.” – Goldie Hawn
LemonadeMakers is hosting a monthly free class on goals, resolutions, plans – whatever you want to call your means of change and transformation in your life. We discuss on a live Zoom call what is happening that is working and not working. Ideas to try to get us motivated to change and transform our lives. Where we might re-evaluate our plans. How to adjust our sails.
We invite you to join with us the first Saturday of every month. The next class registration is opening today. Come join us! Click on the box to register now.
“A pivot is a change in strategy without a change in vision” – Eric Ries
All around the world people make plans. They set goals. They build on their dreams. Every year brings us some of the same goals and maybe a few new ones. For the majority of us that is as good as it gets. Why? Because sometime in January or February or maybe even March our willpower begins to fade out. We slow down. We procrastinate and put it off for next month. We tell ourselves what’s the hurry? I have all year to get this done.
“How can you see things differently here? Your next level of success wants to know” – Heathere Evans
What if this year you do something unique? What if you pivot instead?
What if you do something different?
“You can only succeed. You cannot fail. Failure is impossible . . , an illusion. . , Nothing. Everything moves the human story. . , forward. Everything advances you on your journey” – Neal Donald Walsh
Thinking back to secondary education (Jr. High, High School or College) did you get assignments done when they were assigned or when they were due? How many late night cram sessions did you have to do to finish a paper that you had weeks to complete but waited until the last minute?
The majority of us were late night crammers. And that is one of the things that leads us to fail in our new years resolutions, goals, and plans. Not fail as in we can’t do it, but fail as in we decide to quit trying to do it. When you make goals with the intention of being accomplished within 12 months, you will delude yourself that you have plenty of time until there isn’t any time, and then you will quit. Why?
When you are out of integrity with yourself it will play out in your life
Because unlike school when you would have failed a class and then been grounded by a parent, you are only lying to yourself. The problem with lying to ourselves though, is that we are then out of integrity with ourselves and it will play out in our life. Every time we say we are going to do something, that negative voice will say – “yeah right – I know that I am not really going to accomplish this, so why waste any time or effort in pretending.”
“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here” – Steve Jobs
This year what if instead of a 1 year plan, why don’t you do something different? Do a weekly plan. You choose how many weeks you want to plan for. 12 weeks is sufficient to work in a new positive habit. For most goals it gives us enough time to plan out how to accomplish it. If the goal needs more than 12 weeks such as education, we can plan out major steps that can be accomplished within 12 weeks.
“A vision and strategy aren’t enough. The long-term key to success is execution. Each day. Every day” – Richard M Kovacevich
Get out your pencil and three pieces of paper, For this exercise I want you to limit yourself to three goals. Write one goal on each sheet of paper.
“How does the WHY relation to the vision” – Simon Sinek
Now write down some steps that would need to happen in order for you to accomplish your goal. As an example, you might want to go back to school to get a degree for a change in your career or to help you advance further in your degree. Since this is probably more than 1 year, plan out 3 steps that can be accomplished within the chosen number of weeks.
“Time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped . . , living with the results of others people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise . . , drown out your own inner voice. . , have the courage to follow your heart and intuition” – Steven Jobs
You must also write down the WHY this goal is important to you. What dream is it helping you accomplish? How do you feel about that dream? What emotions does it create deep inside of you? What is the importance of it to you – not anyone else? If it isn’t pulling you to complete it, it’s not really your goal. Keep digging until you reach that place where the dream hooks you. Then do the following step.
Only list three steps that can be accomplished within the chosen timeframe. Our goals should always be driven to our life purpose. To move forward into who we are meant to be, who we are becoming. Otherwise it is just wasting our time, effort and money.
Always check in with our inner guidance system, and follow where that is leading us. There will always be some positive emotions, some connection – it will lead us if we get quiet and listen and feel for it.
“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle” – Steve Jobs
For a budget goal, you could plan out goals for each pay period. Weekly, biweekly, monthly – according to the time frame your paychecks arrive.
Continue in a similar manner for your third goal. What is so cool about this pivot is that you can play with it to see what number of weeks works for you. The budget goal for example will continue all year long. You will have accomplishments for each time period that you are working through. Celebrate each milestone – it is what fuels you to the next milestone and gets you over the disappointments when life happens and creates havoc in accomplishing our dreams.
“Our vision is actionable only if we share it. Without sharing, it’s just a figment of our imagination” – Simon Sinek
You are invited to a virtual get together. Let’s share some ideas and concepts of how you can make 2020 the year of focus and vision for you. Working together with the synergy of a group, you will learn how to create your own personalized dream map, claim your own unique goals of change and transformation; refine them into goal crushing gremlins; and finally, to truly understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
“If the challenge we face doesn’t scare us, then it’s probably not that important” – Simon Sinek
Click below to get started.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. So take a second and think about what I wrote up above. Did you take out paper and pencil or did you just read through it thinking that you would come back later and do it?
What I also know about myself is that if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. I will answer the questions and get my brain thinking and planning. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Commit to your dreams. Travel down a clear path to your date with destiny.
“Have goals, Chase dreams, but do not let your Happiness depend on their achievement” – Manoj Arora
There is a promise today that we can achieve happiness from living a better life. It might be taking certain herbs, oils or medications. The promise of living a vegan, vegetarian, paleo lifestyle, that somehow having a special diet will make us feel happier. Detoxing from all electronics. Living a simple lifestyle, purging our homes of all the material things others think make them happier. They all promise to somehow give us more energy and therefore more happiness.
You might still buy into that vision of being super woman – the woman that can balance raising children, maintain a pristine “Better Homes & Garden” home, successfully climb the corporate ladder, and still wear the sexy lingerie every night. Who can be the soccer mom, volunteer at school. and bake homemade cookies for the classroom. That mom who schedules and drives to every doctor appointment, after school activity, and social event.
“Sweetheart, marry your goals. Remain committed to success and be loyal to your dreams. It’s okay to choose yourself” – r.h. Sin
Focus on what matters
You are so busy chasing perfection, that happiness when it briefly touches you, it is lost as a momentary endorphin high. With each hit, we immediately start seeking the next one.
“Don’t chase your dreams . . , Instead . . , Hunt your goals” – Preeya
Instead of moving immediately to the next thing on your list, sit on the feelings of happiness. Notice those moments of being grateful, relaxed, and appreciated that come from being happy. Feel it completely. Focus on the joy.
Like taking that first bite of your favorite food, savor the feeling from the top of your body down to your toes. Taking the time to fully experience happiness converts it from a temporary endorphin high to making it a lasting change in your mind and mood.
“She loves – the smell of coffee; blooming roses; and new beginnings” – Unknown
There is this balance of being happy from when you get a raise, and the happiness of completing a complex long term goal. The first one lifts your mood (an endorphin high) – like a favorite song that makes you want to sing and dance. The second one is deeply fulfilling because it was difficult to achieve. The amount of happiness in your life is dependent on the quality of your thoughts.
The question to ask yourself is “what is your definition” of a life well lived? All you will get from chasing perfection is exhaustion. Get curious about what makes you happy? Your current circumstances have nothing to do with your current state of happiness or lack thereof. Ask yourself where your passion comes from? What gives you joy?
“Do not chase another human being. Instead, chase your curiosity. Chase your development and your goals. Chase your passion. Strive to work for something bigger than yourself, and instead of trying to convince someone that you fit within their world – build your own” – Bianca Sparacino
It’s the little things that create a lasting happiness.
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you” – Deepak Chopra
Make your own list of little things that make you happy and include those things with every goal you create. You will find it easier to start each new goal and to build and keep momentum in accomplishing each goal. It’s vitally important to remember that the goals you set are not a final destination.
“There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that comes from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence” – Deepak Chopra
Goals, dreams and visions are a part of the journey, not your final destination. The combination of the quality of goals you set for yourself and how they expand your comfort zone creates who you are becoming. It is the self knowledge that each experience reveals to you that tells you where you are on your journey of self knowledge. It is walking in the direction of your life’s purpose that brings in lasting happiness.
I invite you to join us on February 1st for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement.
Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
Instead of just thinking “I could do this” come and find out just how much you can do, confront your deepest fears. Stop playing small. Shine out in all of your brilliance. Give yourself permission to be all that you can be in 2020.
They say that we all have at least one book inside of us. It could be a biography; a cookbook; gardening; crafts; fiction or nonfiction. You could write science fiction, mystery, comedy, drama and so on. You might have overcome tragedy and write about how you did it. All kinds of ideas can come creeping inside of your head on what you would want to pass on to the next generation. Lessons learns that can help others live a happier more fulfilled life.
“Your entire life journey ultimately consists of the steps you are taking at this very moment” – S. Williams
You might look at the goal of writing a book and shrink back. It’s going to take a lot of time and sacrifice to write. It might not be, no – it definitely won’t be any good. The publishers will reject it and then I will have wasted all of that time and effort. You might come up with a million reasons and excuses on why not – but what if you did it for the one right reason? What reason?
You have a story to tell
What if this year is different and you choose to tell it? How could you make it happen? How do you make any kind of big hairy audacious goal happen? The same way the joke says that you eat an elephant – one bite at a time.
“The secret of living is to find a pivot, the pivot of a concept on which you can make a stand” – Luigi Pirandello
A pivot to me is an about face movement. A turning point. A radical way of viewing something that expands your universe as well as your personal space. It is the realization that we are all the same, yet at the same time you have the ability to be your own unique person. It is the understanding that one size does not fit all, and you have the gift of being able to alter any situation into one that does fit the one of a kind “YOU”.
“Your vision helps you focus on your dreams” – Chris D Costello
So what is your big dream? Writing a book? Making a change in your career? Going back to school? Moving someplace far away? Traveling to see the world? What is on your bucket list? What’s holding you back? The typical answers are time and money. You might have one but not the other. But that isn’t really what is holding you back. Fear is what does it.
Chase one rabbit at a time
There is a proverb that says that if you chase two rabbits, you won’t catch either one. Maybe one of the issues with New Years Resolutions is that we are all chasing more than one rabbit? That’s what I love about the idea of changing the time frame from a yearly resolution to a smaller time frame. You can chase one rabbit at a time.
“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create” – Budda
So this year try something new. Take your goal, you big hairy audacious goal, and put it into bite size chunks. It could be one week at a time, four weeks at a time; twelve weeks at a time – you decide what works for you. Say for example you want to write a book. Start with a story line – Who is your hero? Your protagonist? What are their stories? Their dreams of life and their failures. Sketch them out – families, school, work, friends.
Focus means: F-ollow; O-ne; C-ourse; U-ntil; S-uccess – Unknown
Start with a three hour block of time per week. You can have one three hour block of time, or three one hour blocks. Do what you know you can commit to. Keep a notebook with you to write down thoughts and ideas as they occur to you. Write down your dreams the minute you wake up, because your subconscious is going to start working in your favor. It’s going to give you whole scenes to write down.
“Success occurs when your dreams get bigger than your excuses”– Unknown
Your story is based on who you become in your lifetime. It is based on small decisions and large ones. It is based on what life throws your way and what you throw back. It is based on what you create out of what you have been given. When I was first married my husband went to an auction with one of his friends. He came home with a box. It was a random box of stuff that they auctioned unopened. Inside was stuff you probably would have thrown away and not even given to the goodwill.
What can I make out of this?
I was mad at first that he wasted his money. Then I became determined to do something positive and useful with this box of stuff. I took apart all of the material from the clothes inside the box and created a baby quilt out of it for our first child. I still think of that today whenever life has given me a box of stuff I think I can’t use. I take it apart and say, now what can I make out of this?
“When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid” – Audre Lorde
So what is your vision? What is your three most critical things to do with your life in 2020? What is your plan to get it done? Almost one month down, how is your focus on getting it done?
What distractions and obstacles are showing up in your life at this moment?
“Successful people spend 10% of their time focused on the problems and 90% of the rest, focused on the solution” – Tony Robbins
From a solution perspective, how do you live your life on purpose? A key ingredient is knowing when to pivot, to rethink your plan, while still accomplishing your goals. It’s a new year – you have made some plans, goals, or resolutions for 2020. Is it already time to pivot? To rethink your plan?
Don’t waste any more time
Don’t waste any more time avoiding your dreams or thinking that they are impossible. Pick them up and make them a priority for 2020.
I invite you to join us on March 7th for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement. Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
During the call you will have the opportunity to create, find a pivot or two, reimagine and refuel your life dreams.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Join us and turn your breadcrumbs into a clear path to your date with destiny.
“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more” – Rosabeth Moss Kanter
When you are living a life on purpose, what does that really mean? You see yourself on a journey to accomplish something that is important to you. Say for example that you want to run a marathon. You set a goal of getting up every morning at 4 AM to run before you go to work.
“Your entire life journey ultimately consists of the steps you are taking at this very moment” – S. Williams
Now you and I know that there are going to be mornings when you don’t want to get out of bed. When you promise yourself that you will just sleep in this one time and that you will run when you get home instead. But of course when you get home you have so many things to do that evening that you are too tired to run.
When your will power runs dry, what then?
Your actions will always, be 100% congruent with your thinking. So if you set a goal to run a marathon, and you set up a plan of how much running you must to do in order to complete the marathon – yet you find yourself not getting up at 4 AM as planned, then your thinking is not congruent with your goals.
“You have to have a lot of passion for what you are doing because it is so hard . . , if you don’t, any rational person would give up” – Steve Jobs
You need a change of thinking. You need a breakthrough. A breakthrough is a natural result of a shift in your thinking. You suddenly connect past, present, future into a thought that sheds light on something you never saw before. When you have a breakthrough it feels as though the DNA in your body has changed every single cell. Like one moment you knew who you were. Then the next moment you are someone totally new. You realize that you can never go back to what you were before.
“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion” – Simon Sinek
Shifting your mindset can create opportunities that you never imagined were possible. Many times it happens when you run out of ideas. When you hit the wall. When you finally let go, and let God. It clarifies and simplifies everything. It’s like the spot light appears out of the darkness and shows you the way home. You become more of who you are supposed to be.
Become more of who you are supposed to be
“Awareness is not a giver of solace – it is just the opposite. It is a disturber and an awakener” – Robert K Greenleaf
It is kind of funny what happens when you wake up and become aware of how simple life can really be. You are full of plans to run the marathon. You are taking action. Then something happens, and everything changes. Do you give up? Do you throw in the towel? Or do you do something outside the box? Something risky – something you’ve never tried and aren’t really sure can work?
Your “WHY” is what creates a compelling vision for your life of purpose
How does your “WHY” relate to the vision you have created? Your “WHY” is what creates a compelling vision for your life of purpose. It will clearly capture and establish an emotional connection to keep you on purpose to your vision. It gets you up at 4 AM excited to go running, even in the rain or when you are just too tired to even press the snooze button. Your “WHY” is the means to get you to the end result – running in that marathon.
“Success is when reality catches up to your imagination” – Simon Sinek
Around 20 years ago, in the month of January, my middle son got engaged. They set the date to get married in August. I was so happy for them. I wanted to pay for their dream honeymoon. I contacted the travel agent they were working with and got all of the details. I sat down and planned it out exactly how I could pay for it.
“Hold the vision. Trust the process” – Unknown
A couple of weeks later they decided to move the date to May. I was devastated. I could see no way to pay for it in time. I decided to try something new I had learned about at a real estate seminar. I sat down and wrote out a letter expressing how happy I was that I could pay for their honeymoon. How they had the best time at their dream destination.
“Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world” – Joel A. Barker
About two weeks later I got a phone call out of the blue about 10 acres that we owned in rural Upstate New York. The neighbors across the street wanted to purchase the property for cash and they were ready to close it immediately. We settled on the price and two weeks later I had the exact amount needed to pay for the honeymoon.
Want to learn how to do the same thing?
How did this happen? I created a compelling vision of what I wanted to do. Not how it would get done. I captured all of the emotions involved in being able to do this for my son and his new wife. It created an emotional connection to my vision. It opened doors I didn’t even know existed. Want to learn how to do the same thing?
“If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you” – Steven Jobs
Just click below to get started.
During the call you will have the opportunity to create a letter connecting your emotions to your life purpose goals for 2020.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Click below and commit to your dreams. Turn your breadcrumbs into a clear path to your date with destiny.
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
– Earl Nightingale
On our birthdays and the beginning of each new year we take a look at both the time that has passed, and what time might yet be available to us. We think of the dreams we have that haven’t come true yet. We wonder if we have what it takes to get them done. We might even judge ourselves of not being worthy of them coming true. I firmly believe that if God has planted something in my heart to do, then I must have the ability to do it. At the same time I wonder if he’s really, really sure I can do it, because it feels like it is just out of reach. I wonder who am I to go after something that big. Fears creep in all sorts of shapes and sizes to prevent the dreams from being fulfilled.
My son has been visiting with his wife and little dog. They took in a rescue dog about a year ago. He’s named after the pirate in the movie The Goonies – One-Eyed Willie because before they got him he lost an eye. Willie loves cheese. My son will hold up a piece of cheese and Willie will jump up to get it. He will hold it up just out of Willie’s jumping ability and it is amazing how high that little dog will jump for his cheese. At first you think he can’t do it, but he is determined and somehow he gets just a little bit higher and grabs his cheese. We all cheer for him.
When we are pursuing a dream, it has to be something just out of reach. Otherwise it isn’t something that stretches us. Something that we aren’t sure how to do or what to do to make it happen. Like Willie, if we want it bad enough we will find that little bit of extra strength, and leap up just high enough to grab our cheese (dream ) and pull it down into reality.
Take a moment and write this out for yourself (taken from the program DO IT SCARED with my own additions) fill in the blanks at the end of each sentence.
This is the year that I will MAKE ____________________________________________________ (your dream)
This is the year that I will do MORE ____________________________________________ (something positive that moves the needle)
and LESS _____________________________________________________________________ (telling myself if can’t be done or quitting at the least sign of resistance or failure)
This is the year I will CHOOSE _______________________________________________________ (the hard choice to stretch myself)
OVER ________________________________________________________________________ (the easy choice that maintains the same boundaries I now have)
to do BIG things this year, I MUST DO __________________________________________________ (one action, one step at a time) to get started TODAY.
Every year millions of people make New Year’s Resolutions or Goals. If you have ever joined a gym, you see it happen year after year. The goal of weight loss or physical fitness of some sort is made and the gym’s are all packed in January. In February they begin losing a few people, In March a few more and by April the gym is back to what is normal attendance. Why do we make goals each year that after a few months fall by the wayside? And what can you do to make this year different?
So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then when we summon the will they soon become inevitable.
– Christopher Reeves
I don’t think it is just a matter of being something you truly desire. And it isn’t just a matter of will power. Or attitude. Or a million other words that mean essentially the same thing as motivation. It is more complicated than that. Some of it is planning. Some of it is accountability. Some of it is getting past the feeling of overwhelm, because we have so much on our list of what needs to be done or may not even know how to do. Some of it is getting past feeling frustrated when we seem to be stuck in the mud and can’t make any progress. So many other little negative reasons, stop signs, or caution lights that add up to another year, in which we didn’t make any or very little progress towards our dreams.
Don’t wait . . , start your business, write your book, enroll in school, start your blog, choose happiness. You won’t regret starting now.
As we discussed in the previous post the year 2020 is all about focus 20/20 eyesight that allows for perfect clarity, both near and far. Vision that is crisp and clear. To build on our foundation of living a better life, whatever that means to you personally. A year where we can make progress each month and celebrate what we are accomplishing.
A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true.
In pursuit of that take the paragraph that you wrote out above and from those words create three big hairy audacious goals for the year 2020. One of mine is to launch The Transformational Life Compass program starting with the first of three programs in February. We did a pilot class in October/November 2019 for six weeks and it was very inspirational. The first course will be for three months. I am really excited about it because I know how much I have transformed my own life using these same tools. I was really excited in watching everyone who participated in our pilot course. They made connections between the archetypes they have been living under, their past experiences, and how self sabotage was showing up in their lives from those archetypes and experiences.
The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called failure. A loop called confusion. Speed bumps called friends. Red lights called enemies. Caution lights called family. You will have flat tires called jobs. But if you have determination, an engine called perseverance, and a driver called God you will make it to a place called success!
Rather than just talking about how to fill in a bunch of answers and creating a goal plan with steps, I would love to invite everyone to a virtual get together and walk you through step by step how I created my own 20/20 vision for myself and for what I would like to accomplish with LemonadeMakers for 2020. Learn how to claim your goals; how to refine them; and how to understand what your motivation around those goals is all about. It’s not just about writing some words on a piece of paper. We are going to brainstorm our way, map out the detours around the obstacles, and fully implement your plan.
Just click below to go to a google form to collect your contact information so I can send you how to get on our Zoom call. I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets make some noise!
What I know for sure is that we all hit walls of failure, fatigue, and flat tires. It helps us to have a few tricks up our sleeves to handle them so that they just create slowdowns and maybe a few detours, but don’t stop us completely. In the movie Star Man with Jeff Bridges there is a line about yellow lights when they are driving down the road. “Starman: I watched you very carefully. Red light, stop; green light, go; yellow light, go very fast.”
Click below and let’s all learn to “go very fast”.
Last April I went to my birth fathers funeral. He died of complications of dementia. I hadn’t seen him in years. My parents divorced when I was four years old. Despite all of my wanting him to be a part of my life, it just never happened. Many reasons, excuses and stories – too many to go into here. What I wanted to talk about from my own experience is the feelings of being a child of divorced parents.
For me it was very painful because I blamed myself for the divorce. I thought it was something I did. Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, there are probably a lot of people in the world who grew up like me, thinking that they somehow caused the divorce. I didn’t realize that I believed this until I had kids of my own. Lots of self analyzing and trying to figure out where my self sabotage patterns originated revealed it to me. My adult self knows that it isn’t true.
My dad like a lot of fathers remarried another women with children. They became his family as is right. Unfortunately, my stepmother didn’t return the favor and the few times I went to their home it was clear I wasn’t wanted. It was clear as a child, as a teenager and as an adult when I visited with what should have been her grand-kids, we were not welcome.
So my dad and I became completely estranged. It broke my heart. For me at least, I always wanted my dad to say he wanted me in his life, and then to try to make that happen. I had the fantasy that once I was an adult and he didn’t have to deal with my mom, that he would show up and be the dad I always wanted. I didn’t realize how much of that fantasy was lying beneath the surface until I found out he had died.
Wintercearig is a Norwegian word meaning winter-sorrowful describing that feeling of deep sadness comparable to the cold of winter. I think that the death of the fantasy was harder than his physical death. I solaced my heart that he had dementia, so there were probably close to 10 years that he didn’t remember me. Grief is a slippery animal though. It comes and goes when you least expect it. I know he wasn’t a happy man, and I know how hard my mother could be for him. I just wish it could have been different, and that they could have put aside their own pain for my sake.
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer – Albert Camus
I am working my way through winter of my loss. Part of that process is to pull out the gold from the dross. To find the invincible summer in my story. To make Lemonade from the lemons. My disappointments in my childhood and the letting go of the fantasy as an adult are part of who I am. I can talk to this with total compassion, because I have been there. I learned to appreciate the good qualities that my mom and dad had, and let go of the expectations that they would ever become who I wanted them to be.
To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold – Aristotle
Pain has a lot of lessons to teach us. I remember years ago I was talking with one of my sister in-laws about forgiveness. She stated that if her husband ever had an affair that she would never forgive him. That she would divorce him. I told her that with big decisions in life, we think we know what we would do. But until that moment arrives it is all speculation. The reason for that is how connected everything is.
It isn’t just that someone had an affair. You would have to look at all of the circumstances around what happened. There are so many things in your relationship with your partner, what is going on at work, with the larger family – what are the stresses of life that weighed in on someone so that would do something that would destroy their life? When something this devasting happens and you look at all of the possible choices you have to face, many times we do not do what we thought we would. You have to stand out in the cold, and really look at every single crystal of the snowflake to make a decision. Like the snowflake, the breaking of the marriage bond is different for every couple with no two alike.
The future lies before you, like a field of fallen snow; Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show – Unknown
My experiences in life gave me a little bit of a soapbox in regards to fathers who don’t see their children. The damage it causes those children affects them every day of their life. Many of us don’t realize how much, until something happens that brings it to the surface. I had thought I had given up the fantasy of my dad showing up on my doorstep one day, saying “I love you and I want you to be part of my life”. It was still apparently a running program in the background, taking up energy.
So if you are divorced and you aren’t connected with your children, make the sacrifice to do whatever it takes to be a part of their lives. Just show up, with no excuses. With no blame, except to say “I’m sorry”. It may take awhile before they trust you again, because even if you didn’t mean to, you broke their heart. But if you put in the effort and keep trying, eventually they will open the door.
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. that’s what this storm’s all about – Haruki Murakami
When I am processing pain, grief, sadness, I write. This is something I am still working on, but I wanted to share the work in progress.
Maybe you are like me, a daughter or son, who just wanted to be told that they were loved, that they weren’t a mistake that could just be thrown away, that they were proud of who you became.
Maybe like me you just wanted them to show up at your door and say Hi.
A note for my Dad
I learned to say goodbye at an early age
To hear “love you, see you soon” knowing in my heart it wasn’t true
Looking out of the back window of the car as mom drove me away
Silent tears wishing I was still with you
It’s a broken road my mom and dad have made
I’m tired of feeling disloyal loving you both, being torn between you two,
I feel my frailness crumble as you both pull me apart
My heart is torn, broken with your hammers beating it to pieces
Years go by with a few hours here and there
Visits so short they can’t even be remembered
How many times I reached out to you
Only to hear the deafening silence.
The sharp thunder of glaciers breaking up and falling into the ocean
The cold became the color of blinding whiteness
I waited for the your presence, the phone call, the letter, anything
To hear you say “I’m here and I love you.”
Deep sadness covers me like a layer of snow
Leaving my heart cold, pain frozen into arctic ice
Daddy why did you die and leave me alone
Never to hear those words, “love you, see you soon” fulfilled?
I think I will miss you forever, since we never got to say goodbye
Wishing you had been a constant presence in my life didn’t make it happen.
The gift you gave me in passing me by in forgetfulness,
Is seen daily in my being a part of my own children’s lives
Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is directly or indirectly where our expectations of life originate. We take a goal and make a plan. We see into the future possibilities. We attach meaning and purpose to a particular way we “see” the goal being accomplished. Imagination is how we come up with the plans in the first place. It is what enables us to make anything possible, anything happen.
The imagination is the golden pathway to everywhere.
– Terence McKenna
One of the danger signs on the road of our imagination is that we project meaning into everything that happens. Now if we are projecting good, positive meanings to what is happening, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, many times what we are projecting is suffering into what is happening. If someone sent you a text message that said, “boy, what a day I am having”. What’s the first thought that comes into your head? Without the emotion in the voice or cues from body language, where does your mind go first – to something great is happening in their day or something horrible is happening to their day?
Reality is something you rise above.
– Liza Minnelli
We need to constantly ask ourselves, what am I busy painting onto the canvas of my imagination? There are no rules to what I decide to paint. If I think that I can only be successful if my view of my current reality is matching to what I imagined my life would look like, then I am going to be doomed to disappointment. How many times have I whined in my head, “but this isn’t how it’s supposed to be?” How can I rise above what I perceive to be my reality, to what I am trying to create in my life?
Imagination is the most marvelous, miraculous, inconceivably powerful force the world has ever known.
– Napoleon Hill
Imagination is what leads to creation. Think of all of the great science fiction writers and their imaginations. Deep sea diving, submarines with Jules Verne. Star Trek and their recorders to our cell phones. Isaac Asimov and self driving cars and the stun gun (taser). H.G. Wells and atomic power. We are so close to being able to print and replace body parts, organ transplants, tricorders for medical diagnosis. To travel to the stars and go beyond our galaxy. All things that have happened and will happen in our futures, because someones imagination said, “what if . . , “.
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is what you need to see that although there may be problems in your life that need to be solved, they are also realities to be lived through. It is the meaning I give to my life that enables me to perceive that I am successful, that I am happy. How I perceive my life to be, is the reality I am creating for myself. The meaning comes from my feelings about what is happening. I can get lost in the maze of what it should be. I can also choose to see life as it truly is and acknowledge that most of the times when I have really grown have been when I was in the middle of some sort of failure. Taking the risk of failing, is really taking the risk that the growth that comes out of that failure is worth the cost of failing.
The world is a canvas for your imagination. You are the painter. There are no rules. Get to work.
There is a beach collage in the movie “The Man of the House” which the mom Sandy, (played by Farrah Fawcett) adds to every time she goes to the beach with the family. All through the movie she is adding a piece to it, until finally she sets a final piece in it and declares it is done. It is highly likely that this collage in her head when she first imagined it and what she actually created are not the same. But who makes the rule that it has to be the same? We do. We are the ones painting on our canvas. We decide what stays there and what gets scraped off and repainted with something new. The rules are created by us and we can change them. Our imagination can reshape the rules, can reshape what is on the canvas, can reshape anything to mirror what we desire to achieve in our life. My perception of my life is what makes up the reality of my life.
The power of imagination makes us infinite.
– John Muir
So what am I focusing on? Is it something that brings my imagination into reality? Because if my reality and my imagination are not even close to being the same, then I need to refocus to make it so. It’s funny how sometimes the way to make that adjustment is to learn to lose how I thought it had to be, in order to find out a better way to live it. It’s a matter of holding onto the vision that imagination has created and trusting the process of trying, failing, learning and trying again.
Live out your imagination, not your history.
– Stephen R. Covey
Raise your eyes to see the possibilities everywhere around you. They are always there. An endless hallway filled with doors waiting for you to step through. As you go through a new door, remember – nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. To be perceived in such a way that it creates the reality that you are searching for. So don’t just sit there. Get up and get busy!
Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.
– Arthur Ashe
Every year I go on several trips to seminars that are usually three – four days each. This year they arrived all at once. One of them I was supposed to go on last year, but my body had other plans (back surgery) and so I was unable to attend. So they transferred me to this event. The second one is part of the coaching plan I am on and I wasn’t able to travel yet with the event last year (on restrictions from said back surgery) and the third event is an annual American Indian Retreat I do every year.
Sometimes, it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.
I go on these journey’s each year to recharge my batteries. To open my mind to new learning. To get away from the everyday life, so I can relax and let come in from the divine the messages I am too busy to hear when I am involved with a fulltime job at the bank as well as running my LemonadeMakers page. When I am out of my element, I see things I am missing at home. I meet new people since I go to most of these events by myself. I get to travel and see what in my life needs to change.
Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.
– John O’Donohue
So no surprise, with attending a four day event (Thursday – Sunday) three weekends in a row in three different states, I woke up to some things in my life. I have always loved trees. It has always seemed to me that they talk to me. They are so relaxed and go with whatever mother nature sends their way. They connect to other trees through the root systems and even send nutrients to other trees far away that need them. Some of the recent scientific studies show they actually create community and support each other. Every home we have purchased it was because of the trees on the property, not the houses that I fell in love with. So imagine my surprise when I realized that lately trees haven’t been talking to me, water has.
The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn’t even think to ask.
– 180 degrees south
When I was at my first event outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico at Tamaya, located on a Pueblo Indian Reservation, they had strong winds blowing. I had opened the door to my hotel room and was listening to the wind, rain and thunder storm. When I closed my eyes and listened I heard the sound not of the wind, but of strong waves breaking against the seashore.
When I flew into Phoenix for my next event, the winds were blowing and I still heard the ocean in the air.
At Joshua Tree in California, I spoke to Chief Roberts and his wife Terri about how I was hearing the ocean everywhere I went. I knew water was calling but I didn’t know why. As one of our outdoor activities we were to walk a labyrinth. As I walked it I was looking down at the rocks that outlined the path. All different kinds of rocks, different minerals and crystals in them. All shapes. They spoke to me about water. How it had loosened them from the soil. How it had carved and shaped them transforming them, exposing them to the elements and revealing what they were deep inside. How sometimes the changes happened rapidly like a landslide and other times it was slowly drip by drip that changed occurred.
Even in my planning for where we are going to live when I retire, water has been showing up. First as I wanted to live in Northern Oregon or Southern Washington along the coast next to the ocean. Then my son sent me a property listing outside of Astoria Oregon on the John Day river for a houseboat. It was like water was saying, if you don’t want the ocean, how about living on the river?
I felt like the mom in the kitchen making dinner and my three year old kept grabbing my pant leg, saying “mommy, mommy” over and over. And I kept saying, in a minute, I’m really busy right now. Water was not letting me get away. It just kept trying to get my attention.
Your journey in life is not set in stone, you can change direction.
– Steven Aitchison
As I traveled round and round the labyrinth I started thinking about when water had started talking to me. How had it been showing up in my life? This winter has been the wettest winter since we have been living in California – the amount of water this season has been comparable to all the water we have gotten the last 10 years or so combined. My patio kept getting flooded over and over again.
Then I thought about how we just redid the logo and website and Facebook page design and it has the ocean with breaking waves on it, whereas before it was the trees in the forest. Then I thought about the webinar video I created and again it was about “Catching The Perfect Wave”. Even right now with my remodeling of the bathroom I just discovered that I have to replace all of the drainage pipes as they used cast iron when the house was built and they are all damaged with rust and corrosion.
In a recent deep meditation class I asked my intuition what I needed to know. I am very visual and it showed me this vision in which I had already given birth and was now expelling the afterbirth. Childbirth has a lot to do with water – LOL. When I looked up the meaning behind this it validated my thoughts that I am in the middle of a big life transition. I have been told for the past 6 months that I am probably going to be laid off from work. I have been preparing for this liquidating our other properties we own, paying off debt and getting everything ready for the possibility.
Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.
– Paulo Coelho
I think that this is why water is showing up for me, Big changes are coming. Everyone I was talking to at all three events were experiencing big changes in their lives. They were all in the midst of some transition in their lives. I am taking a leap of faith in my own transition that it is time for me to devote full time to LemonadeMakers. To finish the online courses I am writing. To find a new publisher for my first three books, that I had ready to print when the company that was doing it sent me an email that they shut their doors. To begin coaching life transformation full time, instead of part time. This is a big risk as I have never been self employed. It is a big risk, because I have no idea where this journey will take me. I just know that water says I have to go.
No one knows what changes, big or small, lie ahead.
One thing is certain, our journey’s not over.
Enjoy each and every step.
So my question for you is this – what is trying to get your attention? What are you ignoring because you are so busy doing, that you are forgetting to take the time to listen?
Take the time to look behind you for signs. Listen to what keeps occurring in your life. See the doors that you walked past not realizing they were there. Realize that you are probably in the midst of a transition yourself. Be brave. Go someplace even if it is simply a walk in the woods and get away from the everyday part of your life. Ask yourself what do I need to know for the next part of my journey.
Come attend our next webinar and explore what we have to offer to take you to a new level of self transformation. Click on the link below to learn more about our next webinar to “Catch the Perfect Wave”.
Consult not your fears, but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you have tried and failed in, but with what is still possible to do.
– Pope John XXIII
Everyone has dreams. How many times have you said the words, “I thought of that idea, but didn’t know how to accomplish it” – or “that could have been me being rich and famous, I thought of that idea years ago”? I believe that the universe downloads great ideas to many, because most of us will never chase the dream into a reality.
We may place blame, give reasons, and even have excuses, but in the end, it is an act of cowardice to not follow your dreams.
– Dr. Steve Maraboli
When we are dream chasers we realize that the person who we are, has just been constructed out of myths we have told ourselves since we were children. That this person who was created out of ideas, beliefs and images – is not really who we are. Those myths don’t define us, and they are not who we are deep inside our souls. The dream is our souls way of clearing out all of the things that no longer serve us. It draws out of the center of our soul who we really are.
Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground.
– Wilfred Peterson
When we decide to become dream chasers, it changes our life forever. This is because this decision means that we have decided to become someone different than we have been. We realize that in order to bring the dream into reality, we have to become who the dream is calling us to be. Someone who is brave enough to follow her own wild and crazy ideas. Someone who has the courage to put as much effort into doubting the fears that come up when we go outside the safe zone in our lives, as we put into doubting our dreams. Someone who puts her visions of what is possible onto the world stage.
Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.
– Gloria Steinem
We realize as dream chasers, that our dreams are a verb, an action needs to take place. We need to serenade our dreams, ranging from the simple love ballad to the romantic symphony, reflecting the intensity of our love for the dream we are chasing. We bleed the words of our souls poetry onto the page of our dreams, spilling out our hearts desires. We float across the dance floor of our dreams, with the intensity of the Paso Doble. The paint of our dreams swirls across the canvas, blending in the colors of our life as we paint it into existence. As the conductor of the orchestra, with the baton leading the intensity of the music, we create a tapestry of tones and colors across the mind.
Dreams are valuable commodities. They propel us forward. They give us energy.
– John C. Maxwell
All of this art creates the souls wishes from deep inside of us, out into the world stage. The distance between our dream and reality is bridged by action. Small steps become long distances, when we just keep walking. Remember the joy of the babies first step? Then we hold out our hands and just keep walking backwards one step to encourage them to take another and another. The next thing we know they are running across the room, the yard, and the world. Small steps become long distances, when we just keep walking.
What is most needed at this moment, is for all of us to let lose our passions, and come alive. Come alive and go out and do what you see needs to be done. Don’t wait for someone else to solve your problems, or your neighborhoods problems or the worlds problems. Come alive and do something. Join an organization to help others; get involved in volunteering, in politics, in raising your hand and saying, “I can do that”.
The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.
Refuse to let the fears and nightmares of other people’s lives distort our dreams. Don’t apologize for having dreams. Don’t stop chasing them because others don’t want us to try to bring them into reality. We realize that chasing our dreams is hard work. That chasing our dreams will change our lives, and the lives of every person we impact. We don’t stop chasing our dreams because they excite our spirit. We have a deep hunger that can’t be satisfied in any other way. It is our road, our dreams, our life.
Don’t follow your dreams; chase them . . .
– Kunal Patel
Dreams are all about transforming. When we listen to our souls voice, we see these dreams play out in our imagination. Our imagination is the illustrator to the book that your soul has written out on your heart. It is up to you to read the blueprint designs, and go out into the world and build them into reality. Negative people are like termites. If you let them into your dreams, they will destroy what you are building. You are far too smart, to let the negativity of your own mind or that of others stand in your way.
Keep your dreams alive. Understand that to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.
– Gail Devers
Remember that God put that dream into your heart. He whispers to your soul what the next step is to bring it into reality. You just need to listen, believe and go out and do what you can do. God will make sure the right doors open, but you have to step through them. I encourage you to check out our LemonadeMakers Club. It is being designed with helping each of us to dig deeper into hearing our own inner guidance. To learn to understand the directions of the divine through our souls voice. To better understand not only how to access it, but to see what in our lives is undergoing transformation and learn to work with it, instead of against it.
Shel Silverstein is one of my favorite poets. My kids all read his poems when they were little. This is one of his poems that I wanted to share, because it is now part of my life with my dad.
The Little Boy and Old Man
“Said the little boy, Sometimes I drop my spoon. Said the little old man, I do that too.
The little boy whispered, I wet my pants. I do too, laughed the old man.
Said the little boy, I often cry. The old man nodded, So do I.
But worst of all, said the boy, it seems Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me. And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand. I know what you mean, said the little old man.”
Recently I crossed over from being a daughter to being a parent for my father. Some changes in your life, tear your heart into tiny pieces. 22 years ago, my mom went on to her next adventure. She passed away at 56 yrs old from cancer. I stayed with her and took care of her the last three months of her life. My aunt and my mom’s best friend stayed with me as she needed around the clock care. With them by my side, while I had hard moments, it wasn’t traumatic. I miss her so much with each new family event. My kids graduating high school. college, marriages, and of course grandchildren and now great grandchildren. She missed it all.
It was a family understanding that when my dad retired from work that he would move in with us. And because he had poor heart health, having a triple bypass, he actually retired a little early with disability and came to live with us. At first he had a motorhome that he lived in, so he could keep his independence. We had a motorhome pad, with electricity hook ups and everything. Then came the day he had to move inside, because his health was deteriorating.
Then we purchased a hospital bed because he was having problems breathing at night, with a lot of coughing and this would allow him to raise it up enough that he could comfortably sleep. Then more ups and downs. He acquired a walker because he couldn’t walk more than a few steps before he was out of breath. Then back and forth to hospitals, ER’s, tests and more tests. Changes of medication when they damaged his kidneys. Changes of medications to help his heart failures.
My dad has a phobia around hospitals. An intense fear. He refuses to go, wanting to stabilize himself with drugs at home. So that is very trying as it usually means intense discussions with both me and his cardiac specialists. The drugs have started causing kidney damage and they have to dial back the dosage. I feel horrible that he becomes defeated. He sits in his chair and watches TV all day and I know he has feelings of depression and being defeated by his body. Sometimes I feel like the worst daughter in the world, as I crossed over into being his parent. I am his advocate when he doesn’t or just can’t understand what is happening and why.
There is a moral task of caregiving, and that involves just being there, being with that person and being committed. When there is nothing that can be done, we have to be able to say, “Look, I’m with your in this experience. Right through to the end of it.
Dr. Arthur Kleinman.
Why do I do this? About 52 years ago, my dad married my mom. She had six little girls, all eighteen months apart with a set of twins. My dad has a lot of faults, like all of us. But he also has some amazing qualities. One is that when they got married, we were his daughters. Not his step-daughters. His daughters. Not once in 50 years has the word “step” exited his mouth. I think that many who read this will not understand how important that is to a child. For me, putting the word “step” before me, makes me less than his own child. I know how lucky we were that we were never step children. When my mom died, 22 years ago, we were still his daughters. No words can express this kind of love. Believe me, if you met some of my sisters, you would understand how amazing it is, that he still calls them his daughters – lol.
Of all the lessons I’ve learned through my years of caregiving, the most important is to keep the love connection going. Just tell them that you love them again and again and again. You will never say it too much, ever.
It is scary to cross this transition from daughter to parent. It was different from my mom, as I never felt I became her parent, I remained in caregiving mode. It is scary to see that in the near future, he will go on to his next great adventure, leaving all of us behind him. We are both scared right now. What happens when we let our fears get ahold of our mouths? We shout, we get angry, we say hurtful things. But it is just us being scared. Caregiving is hard, but it is also so rewarding. I can remember when I was taking care of my mom, that some of my sisters were absent because it was too hard to watch the lung cancer take away her ability to care for herself. I learned what the true meaning of words like grace, dignity, love, sacrifice really were deep under the surface of the meanings we usually give them. I am again reminded of it now everyday.
To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.
I wanted to share my story because I know that many of you are doing the same as I am. Day by day watching a loved one fade away. Sometimes with a fight and sometimes with a whimper. It is hard to watch, and harder to experience it happening to oneself. I wanted to say how while all of our experiences are different because of the people involved and other circumstances, I know how hard this is. I know how fulfilling it is one moment and utterly draining the next. But this is still a gift. A gift of grace, love, and all the other virtues.
Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know was even possible.
You are not alone, even when it feels like it. If you feel overwhelmed, please join a caregiver group, whether online or up front and personal. It helps to share what is going on and they can help you with getting assistance when it is needed. Believe me, it is hard to find help when you don’t even know where to start and what is available. Even the strongest person can have the weakest day of their life and having access to someone who knows and understands what is happening is priceless.
Remember the power of your angels. Remember to be guided by love and take strength in the good memories, when those you care for are having a bad day and giving you waking nightmares. And remember the grace of how those things we can’t change, can change us.
When we are in a state of severe loss, of pain and grief and a darkness of the soul – that is when life is at its hardest to bear.
But if we just take a deep breath, followed by more deep breaths we can walk into the middle of the chaos. It’s messy in the middle, but in the middle we have the space to start working through the story of our loss. And as we walk through the story, we eventually reach the end.
The end is the place of new beginnings. Our life has been forever changed by our tragedy. We must remember in this space of pain, grief, and loss that the new beginning will be waiting for us.
The sun will shine. The stars will shine brightly. New people will come into our lives. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel, if we only will open once again to breathe in the love.
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dream of meeting your heart’s destiny.
– Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Orian Mountain Dreamer is one of my favorite writers. I invite you to read her books, they are small but mighty. The Invitation is what this quote is from. The poem is a wonderful deep dive into important questions that probe who we are and why.
If light is in your heart, you will find your way home.
Our words have power. When we hide how we feel, what we think, we are trying to live our life using someone else’s light. We can’t find our way home that way. There is always some truth behind the words that are followed by “just kidding”. When we say “I don’t know”, there is always some knowledge that we judge as being incomplete and so we say we don’t know – when in fact we do know something about it. When we say, “I don’t care” we are not being truthful. We think if we put our emotions in a cage and don’t let them out we can’t be hurt. The reality is that we are hurting ourselves. When we tell others that we are “ok” when we aren’t, we rob them of the opportunity to help us.
May you always be guided by the light that shines forth from within you.
Life is always about the meaning that we give to it. If you take a lamp as the analogy, our soul is the light inside the lamp. The things that happen to us are the glass that surrounds the light. That glass doesn’t matter, it is the heart and soul – the light that matters.
We tell ourselves stories about the events in our life, to give us some meaning to what is happening. Some of us are writing horror stories, or stories that leave us drained from fears and worries. Others of us, write stories about the gifts we received as we travel through life. From the wonderful things that happen to us, as well as the tragic things. The best way to count your blessings is to look at life through a variety of lenses. To bring things into and out of focus. To look into the depths of our souls to see what the storms dredged up for us to look at. When we sift through it all, we can let go of everything that doesn’t serve us, realize the lessons we have been taught, and grow into who we came here to be.
Harness the power of today! Seize the blessings of today! Make something happen, enhance your life, make someone laugh, help a friend. Love, love, love.
– Dr. Steve Maraboli.
There is a big difference between making something happen and forcing something to happen. Forcing something to happen isn’t natural. It is like forcing yourself into something that doesn’t fit. Have you ever laid on the bed to force your stomach to be flat so you can get your jeans buttoned and zipped up? Or forced your foot into a shoe that you loved, but doesn’t really fit? You might be able to get the jeans fastened, but it hurts your stomach when you try to sit. You might be able to walk in those shoes for a little while, but eventually you have to take off the shoes because they hurt your feet so badly. What you will left with is blisters to prove vanity isn’t a good idea to live your life by.
And I know how broken you are, how heavy you feel, but still, you have to find the light in you. You have to hold on to it with care and never let it go, even if it drags you to the end of the world.
– r.m. drake
But making something happen is all about taking small steps to bring into reality what you are dreaming of. It is catching the light of your soul and holding it up into the darkness, so that you can see where to go. It is taking the voice or dancing lessons because you want to be in theater. It is taking leaps of faith when you don’t know how to do something. It is going for the brass ring as the merry go round flies around and around. It is learning a foreign language for a trip of a lifetime to a foreign land. It is taking big, medium and small actions, not just dreaming about it, You don’t just sit there doing nothing to make it happen.
Whenever you hear or read anything of a spiritual nature that moves your soul you are not learning something . . , you are remembering what you have always known. It is a gentle awakening.
Have you ever went somewhere new and experienced deja vu? That feeling that what is happening at this moment, has happened before? Have you ever learned something new and it was just so natural and easy that you didn’t even need instructions to do it? For me, it feels like something that I have dreamed about, is now happening in real life. That my mind already knows and sees the connections, like it was programmed into being. I think that when this happens, we need to pay attention. That we are in that moment doing something that is important, even if our minds do not understand it.
The Words I Speak Are All In Languages I Do Not Speak
And yet, when you get here, you are not given instructions. There are no diagrams about how you are meant to live each day or directions on how to assemble some semblance of happiness. You are not even told what colors to paint your feelings or given a purpose and a reason for your life. You have to make all of it up. You have to make all of it up yourself.
– Iain S. Thomas, from “I Wrote This For You”
No matter if we are in the first month or the last month of the year, take the time to reflect on what the year so far has been for you. To see the places where life has been a blessing. To see the places where you let your dreams fall by the wayside. Pick them back up. Dust them off. Find within them the things that you are looking for. Go beyond your means to make them come true for you. Draw down deep within the story of them and bring it into reality. Transform the pain and regrets of this year and past years into the blessings and joy of a new year.
Years end is neither an end nor a new beginning, but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
– Hal Borland.
The journey of life teaches us that growth happens when the dream is bigger and brighter than you ever thought it could be. In the pursuit of that dream, it will illuminate your heart, capture your mind, and free your soul from the small box that you held it in. You will discover that there are hidden maps within your soul. That there are clues and invitations to walk through doors that will open your mind up to things you never dreamed could be true. But you can only make those kind of discoveries when you listen to your heart.
That is my wish for all of you today. That you listen to your heart; that you hear the whisper of your soul and find the dream that is so big, that you too can grow beyond who you are today and enrich the universe.
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