To Grow, We Must Transform

Like the butterfly, I have the strength and hope to believe that in time, I will emerge from my ch

How can you tell if you still might be in a caterpillar stage of growth? Some questions to think about –

Do I hide my value or discount the gifts that I have for this world?
Am I tightly guarded, afraid?
Do I feel like I am stuck in the mud, unable to move?
Can I see my potential, but don’t know how to unlock it?
Do I feel vulnerable, tossed about with no control?

“If your view of reality is not supportive, is not positive, is not charging you with energy and joy and zest each day, it is time to change what you are paying attention to.  It is time to change your focus.  It is time to change your very definition of what reality is, what your life is, what your future will be.”  Brendon Burchard.  
Brendon tells the story of when he changed his focus on life.  He had broken up with a girlfriend and to heal had traveled to a South American country with a friend.  They were driving down a narrow rural road, late at night.  Because they couldn’t see well and there weren’t any road signs, they took a hair pin curve too fast.  The vehicle left the road and fell down a hillside.  Regaining consciousness, bleeding, and thinking he was going to die, he asked himself three questions.  Had he really loved, had he really lived life, and had he made a difference, did he matter?
Brendon realized that he wasn’t happy with his life.  That he needed to make some changes.  That he wanted his life to matter, to be able to say that his life made a difference to others.  We don’t need a possible life ending experience to look long and hard at our life.  In fact, we should take a life evaluation periodically.  It is really easy, to take a break and fall asleep in our lives.  How long will you allow yourself to remain in a caterpillar stage?

Unlike the real caterpillar, we have different phases of transformation. It isn’t a one time thing, go into the chrysalis and come out a butterfly for us. We have a mind, body, and soul, which is continually growing and expanding. Which means that we have different levels of transformation and growth.  “Spiritual growth involves giving up the stories of your past, so the universe can write a new one”  Marianne Williamson.  

Each time we feel stuck, we need to enter the chrysalis and undergo another change. Each time we realize that we have greater potential than we are using, we need to enter the chrysalis and undergo another change. “It’s not about being perfect.  It’s about effort.  And when you bring that effort every single day, that’s where transformation happens.  That’s have change occurs”  Jillian Michaels.  Transformation isn’t about “fixing” yourself like you are something broken.  It’s about transforming what is no longer serving you, to grow into who you are to become.

Taking the caterpillar to butterfly analogy one step further, the caterpillar exists by eating up the foliage of the plants it crawls across. It feeds the caterpillar, but does nothing positive for the plants themselves. Once the caterpillar transforms into the butterfly it now flies from plant to plant and helps to pollinate the plants to bring about new life. It helps in the creation of new life, a truly positive purpose.

In this same way, when we get stuck, hide our value, and become tightly guarded, we are not producing anything positive in the world, but rather we are just using up the resources around us. We are not giving back. We are not contributing.  “Unless you are prepared to give up something valuable, you will never be able to truly change at all, because you’ll be forever in the control of things you can’t give up”  Andy Law

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow.  If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.”  Gail Sheehy.  But when we change, transform and grow, we are then in a space of being open, and sharing our values with the world around us. We pay it forward, because we delight in the joy of giving. We focus on how we can contribute to make the world a better place. We unfurl our wings to move freely in the expanded space of our transformation. We become a new creation, with a worthy cause fulfilling our divine purpose.

This chrysalis is the place to enter when we need a breakthrough. The breakdown results in a new way of thinking.  It is about seeing yourself differently.  Where we exercise the patience to grow and transform. The persistence to follow the breakdown through to the breakthrough. Knowing that the surrender is what leads to the life transformation will produce a new happiness of “we did it”. Bob Dylan said “behind every beautiful thing, there’s some kind of pain.” 

So like the butterfly, I know that each time I enter the chrysalis I will come out a new creation. That there is some old part of my life, that is outgrown and no longer serving me or the world around me, that needs to end. And in that ending I will, once again have the strength to emerge, and will be transformed in some way to further the unfolding of divine destiny.  It’s time to use those wings and dance lightly through the edges of change.
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Sheryl Silbaugh

I am married with 4 grown children who are all married and currently have 14 grandchildren and two great granddaughters. I work fulltime as a Director at Bank of America and I am the founder of, which is a website and Facebook page dedicated to personal transformation and growth. We all have life's lemons show up in our life, this website helps us to make them into lemonade.