When was the last time you did something that was both scary and exciting? When was the last time you felt that mix in your stomach that said simultaneously, “No don’t do it?” and “Come on lets make this happen“?
“Do one thing every day that scares you” – Eleanor Roosevelt
What if doing one thing that scares you, was on your “to do” list every day?
What else would you put on this list? What pops into your head?
How many days would you push that scary thing, to the next day on your “to do” list? 1 day, 2 days or everyday?
How many things have you thought about trying, but put off or backed away from? How many things have you been scared to even try?
If you did try and failed, did you quit?
If you tried to surf once and fell off the board, did you say – “Forget it, I will never be able to do this?” The odds of being able to surf on the very first try are so high I couldn’t even type out the number. To learn to surf, you try and learn something. Then you repeat it over and over, wave after wave, until you have learned enough to stand up on the board and ride it into the shore. And even when you are an expert, one thing you know for sure – you are still going to fall off the board.
Using your imagination, would you be able to put a new or scary thing to try on the list every day for a month?
If you never try, you won’t know what you can do. I don’t believe that anyone really lives up to their full potential. You are capable of so many things that you won’t ever think of to try. When my mom was in a early 50’s her best friend talked her into a art class. My mom didn’t believe she could draw or paint and I don’t think beyond school drawings she ever tried. But her best friend had started painting porcelain tea cups and wanted to get better at it, so she convinced my mom to sign up for the class just because she didn’t want to do it alone.
A funny thing happened. My mom painted this amazing forest scene that I have hanging up in my living room. Her first painting revealed an unknown talent. She would have never known if her best friend hadn’t twisted her arm to sign up for the class. If you never try, you won’t get to feel that satisfying feeling of breaking out of your patterns and doing something amazing.
The funny thing about comfort zones is that they are very static. You have a routine that you follow, day in and day out. You punch the clock in the morning when you get up, and then you punch the clock at night when you go to bed. I remember years ago I worked with a firm that bought failing healthcare businesses and turned them around. On the bottom floor of our building was a TGIFridays. Every day the President of the company placed the same exact order for a sandwich. He never tried anything else on the menu. I always thought how boring.
I love to try something different when I order food in a restaurant. Something I don’t know how to cook. There are so many amazing cultural foods out there. Even in the U.S. they don’t make things the same way in the South as they do in Texas, as they do in California, or the Pacific Northwest, or Duluth, or NYC.
The thing is – unless we break out of the comfort zone, we can’t grow to a new level in life.
“A ship is always safe at the shore but that is not what is was built for” – Albert Einstein
This week, make a list of things outside of your comfort zone. Pick something that could become a hobby that you’ve never tried to do, something with your hands that engages your creative powers. Pick something that could build your confidence and courage to grow that comfort zone just a little wider, a little longer. For my mom it was an art class. It doesn’t have to be something terrifying. It could be something that you always wanted to do but are scared to try. It could be something you don’t think you can do, like painting, sculpting, woodworking, or even knitting.
If you want to go skydiving, maybe the first step is a hot air balloon ride. It gets you up in the air and grows your courage just a little bit. Maybe the next step is just going up in the plane and seeing everyone else take that leap out into nothing.
Sir Edmund Hillary is famous for climbing Mt. Everest. But that wasn’t his first climb. His first climb was in 1939 ascending Mt. Ollivier. Unless you are a mountain climbing fan or expert you would have never heard of his first climb. It was 1953 when he ascended Mt. Everest. The years between were spent expanding his comfort zone to the point that he could attempt and finally achieve the goal of climbing Mt. Everest.
So start small – pick something that expands your comfort zone and begin growing into your full potential. Each victory or achievement builds upon the courage and confidence to get to the next level. Find your own Mt. Everest and go for it!
“There are no great people in this world, only great challenges which ordinary people rise up to meet” – William F Halsey Jr
What does the word “Risk” mean to you? Is it married to your fear(s) until death do they part? Does the phrase “course correct” imply to you that you’ve failed? Does the idea of “untapped potential” make you break out in hives? Do you avoid the “road less traveled”?
Fear makes almost everyone uncomfortable. Fear is an integral part of risk; of going down the road less traveled; of even thinking of putting yourself into a situation where you would need to dive deep within to bring up some of that untapped potential.
But – if you are brave enough to get your friends to open up to the dreams they have, you will see some of their untapped potential being exposed to the light. If you are brave enough to open up and share your own dreams, you will learn things about yourself that you didn’t know.
Risk is a barometer to how much courage you will allow yourself to have. You have extraordinary dreams that you would do in a heartbeat, if you could be guaranteed that you wouldn’t fail. Courage will tell you that you have to let failure be a normal part of putting action to your dreams.
In the past couple of weeks I stumbled on to a new (at least to me) online news subscription. It’s called “The Profile” and it features Polina Marinova. She is doing things a little differently. She is doing deep dives on prominent figures and it is really interesting. I wanted to share some of the things that one her profiles had to say about failure. While this article pertained to purusing a business, the lessons contained can be applied to any kind of change or transformation you are thinking about making in your life. Click the link and check her out, she has both free and paid subscriptions. (everything in quotes is from her article and reading her article inspired me to write this one).
“Failure is not the outcome – failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.” – Sara Blakely
Sara Blakely says that she is no stranger to failure. She failed her LSAT tests ending her dream career as a trial attorney. She had an interesting dad, who taught his children to celebrate failure. When she was growing up, each person at the dining room table had to share their biggest failure for the week while they were eating dinner. If they didn’t have one, her father would be disappointed, because that meant they hadn’t put themselves out there to do something impossible. She learned from this that the only true failure is when you don’t try.
One night getting ready for a party she stumbled onto an idea for a gap in the fashion industry, and that began the creation process for Spanx. She stated that she kept the idea to herself for a whole year while she worked behind the scenes, before she sought validation from friends and family. By the time she told them about it;
She knew that all of the negative comments about her idea would have killed it if she had talked about it immediately. How many ideas have you had, where that happened to you? Her advice? Don’t seek validation from others until you’re ready with proof of concept.
It is common when an idea pops into your head to discount it. Today while writing this blog, a neighbor was mowing his lawn, and the noise of the lawnmower was irritating me. I said to my office partner that someone should invent a solar powered electric lawn mower. It could be that someone has. I don’t know. I thought about it for a moment and said. “it could have a rechargeable battery that sits in the sun all week just waiting to be popped into the machine. It would be quiet like an electric car, as well as being better for the environment.’
Now like Sara –
The only difference between Sara (with her initial lack of business, manufacturing, and fashion industry knowledge) and myself is the level of passion she had for it. For me, this is just a wonderful idea that I am happy to give to someone else. For her, it was an idea she was in love with.
“Don’t be intimidated by what you don’t know. That can be your greatest strength and ensure that you do things differently from everyone else.” – Sara Blakely
When you take fear out of the equation, it becomes easy to embrace the unknown. One of the keys to her success, is that she was a fashion outsider, and didn’t know how it was supposed to be done. Her ignorance became her greatest asset. “I had no idea how things were supposed to be done, and if you have no idea how something’s supposed to be done, I guarantee that you’ll end up being disruptive,” she said. When you are an outsider you see things in a different way, because you don’t know how it’s supposed to go. Beginners mind always starts by asking the question “why” over and over again.
In 2000, Blakely used her $5,000 in savings to start her company, and by 2012, she was named the youngest self-made female billionaire. Sara still owns 100% of Spanx because she never took on outside investors. She sees an opportunity in every failure or disappointment. “Spanx wouldn’t exist if I had aced the LSAT,” she says.
Take control of your mindset by immersing yourself with great books that teach you how to life a positive life. Sara tells how her dad bought her the Wayne Dyer program called “How to Be a No-Limit Person” when she was having a hard time with personal and financial issues. Most of higher education teaches you what to think, Wayne Dyer taught her how to think. A critical part of using failure to be successful, is that you have the ability to control your own thoughts and confront your self-doubt. “Now more than ever, your greatest weapon is your mindset,” says Sara.
“Success, to me, is finding the courage to live your fullest and biggest life.” – Sara Blakely
The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. As we share the lessons of each one’s individual journey, resilience is grown for everyone. Putting your dreams into action is definitely taking the road less traveled.
Join us for the next conversation and find the courage to live your fullest and biggest life.
“It is not the perfection of one’s life but the direction of a life that provides evidence of regeneration” = John Macarthur
My mother had this habit of saying that she was working on “getting it all together”. One day I found this cute little card and I had to buy it for her. It had the picture of a tall filing cabinet with the drawers partially open. There were files half way out of the cabinet with the papers spilling out of them. In one of the filing cabinets was a mouse going through the files looking for something. The caption read “I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it.”
“Happiness is not perfection. It’s looking past imperfection and see the beauty of life” – Surbhi Bhosie
Your life will not be fully lived if you are waiting on getting “all of your ducks in a row.” You have to begin where you are. Like the momma duck you need to starting walking and have faith that the ducks will line up behind of you. There is a joke about how when you finally got your ducks all in row, you’ll discover that they’re not even your ducks! It isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating something, anything that gets your closer to your dreams and goals.
It has been said, “If you want to get your ducks in a row, you must first get your head above water.” We are living in a world that is becoming hard to recognize as anything normal. If you work in sports, entertainment, retail, the restaurant industry, the travel industry – you may have lost your income. You may still be employed but working from home with children driving you to distraction. You may be caring for elderly parents terrified that they will get this virus. In one week you have decided that being a couch potato and binging on T.V. isn’t as relaxing as it sounds.
“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect, it simply means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections” – Iliketoquote.com
So with everything in your life going sideways or upside down, how do you find beauty in a world that feels like it is breaking apart? By creating beauty in the world, wherever you find yourself. There is an artist that did this magnificent beadwork on canvas, and then she tore it to explose of the beauty hidden underneath. When you find yourself feeling broken, remember to look for the beauty in the brokeness.
“I realized that to be more alive I had to be less afraid. So I did it. I lost my fear and gained my whole life” – Mantraband.com
In mosaics there is great beauty by taking the broken pieces and creating a new piece of art. It tells a story. Instead of throwing away the broken things in your life, look for ways to incorporate them into a new meaning. Don’t abandon your dreams and goals for 2020. Just look for new creative ways to keep growing your comfort zone and reveal the beauty of hidden possibilities and potential.
“The road remains wide open while your dreams are alive, only fear can block the way” – Fratley
What is it that you are currently focusing on? That is the direction you will find yourself heading. Years ago I was driving home from work one night. I saw that the car coming towards me had wandered into my lane. I quickly steered my vehicle off onto the shoulder of the road. The driver of the oncoming car continued crossing over into my direction. I could not get out of his way and he hit the side of my vehicle on the drivers side just past the passenger door. My vehicle was bouncing back and forth, from side to side. For a moment I thought I was going to roll the vehicle over.
I was sitting in my car, trying to calm my heart down and he came running back to my car. He kept repeating over and over how sorry he was. Apparently he was looking at the concrete wall that had been built into the hillside of a new subdivision and was not paying attention to where he was steering. When you look off to the side of the road, you will unconsciously steer in the direction that you are looking. By the time he realized he was going to hit me it was too late. He had not only left his lane, he had crossed completely through my lane and hit me off the road on the shoulder.
That is why focus is so important. It is so easy to swing the pendulum from one side to the other and not be grounded in the present. If you are too far to the right you might ask yourself:
What is running through your mind as the hamster wheel endlessly spins? Is it negative mind talk or positive “I can do this” thoughts? Have you basically already surrendered your life to fear and anxiety? Instead of listening to the minds endless list of “I can’t because thoughts” what if you turned the sentence around to view it with curiosity – “how can I?”
“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go” – Rumi
Right now there is a lot of things that you can’t control. Right now there is a lot of unknowns about what is going to happen next. The world is shifting and transforming right in front of you. Instead of feeling like running around and screaming “the world is falling” what if you just got still? If you just took a deep breath in and let it out slowly over and over until your mind quiets down? What if you sat in the space of learning to live between effort and surrender?
Something important to remember is that before you try to balance anything, you need to make sure that you are on firm ground. A steady foundation. Ask yourself, what do I need to stay grounded, in touch, in love, connected and emotionally balanced in this moment? You are not going to find it outside yourself. Look within, to find it.
What if you just looked at what to let go of – all of the cursed unknowns in your life right this moment, and just surrendered them. What if you got into the space of curiosity – of wonder – of imagination? What if you rethought/restructured what dream needs to take flight and just went for it right now?
Put your trust in your higher power. Embrace change. Embrace life. Expand instead of contract. There is tremendous power in your dreams. Use it to take flight. Start by recognizing your “super powers”, your talents and then find ways to serve others by using them. Do great work even in trying times.
There is an old curse that people used to say, according to various fiction writers. “May you live in interesting times.” It was meant to imply that you would live in times of great change and unrest. You might be wondering if you are today, this moment, living in interesting times. If you are, how do you “aim true”?
In thinking about this I wonder if you are in fact living in a time of great shifting and upheaval. Think of the change in a landscape after a volcano has blown its top. We used to live outside of Seattle, WA and I remember going camping, hiking and fishing around Mt. Saint Helens. When the mountain had its huge eruption, the landscape totally changed. You would walk down the same path as before, only it wasn’t the same. The eruption changed the landscape into something surreal.
Are you experiencing changes on a personal level, such as going to a grocery store with a list of items that you can’t find? For those few items you do find, are you being limited by the store as to how many items you can purchase?
One of the things I love to do is get curious about patterns and shifts in life. During WW II all of the men went off to war. This left factories without workers and so many women were called upon to join the workforce to keep the machines running. It was a time of great upheavals and shifts. When the men came home they expected the women to go back home to the kitchen. Women had stood in the place of their husbands or boyfriends and worked a fulfilling job for several years – as well as keeping care of the home and children. Many of them didn’t want to go back home into their old roles as solely a wife or mother. They felt that they could be more than that, and wanted it to continue.
Overnight it seemed that the roles of a man and woman had shifted. They had turned a corner and it wasn’t possible to just go back to the way it was. It’s taken a long time for those roles to continue shifting and solidifying into true equality. It is still going on to some extent.
It feels like you may be about to have a similar experience of what happened to the workforce during WW II. What if the result of this virus is that you are about to experience a “turning of the corner” moment, in multiple ways of how you used to live your life?
“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is” – Unknown
Malls have been slowly dying for the past 10 years or so. Is this the end of malls?
Working from home has been moving one step forward, two back for a few years. Where I work it wasn’t encouraged. It was well tolerated for a few years, but lately they had decided they wouldn’t approve it for fulltime employees who wanted to shift from the office to home any longer. Now of course for those states on lockdown everyone who can work from home is. If this home lockdown truly continues for a couple of months, will businesses have turned a corner and begin abandoning commercial multistoried office buildings? Will working from home become the “norm” of the future?
Has the virus killed ISP data caps? Internet providers have been lifting the data caps due to everyone being at home and using the internet – both for work and entertainment. Once you have given something away for free, it is very hard to put the genie back into the bottle. It becomes a negative experience for your customers and they will go to someone who is still not capping their online connections.
What if we have just “turned the corner” for movie theaters? You see Disney and several other companies releasing the movies to either buying the movie or streaming it and paying to view it. If this was to continue there would be need to be a drastic change to how much it cost to make a movie in order for the industry to survive. Would the mega dollars paid to the big stars go away? Would movies become all computer generated, with voices being the only real part of the movie?
What about the million dollar contracts for sports stars if the big arenas were no longer deemed safe?
Once you start down the rabbit hole of wondering, there is no telling where you might end up. The world is full of patterns. The patterns continue until they transform, collapse or end. When you are in the middle of a pattern that is in transition, it is really hard to recognize what is happening. Even if you recognize that a pattern shift is being played out, it is really hard to determine where it is going. It is impossible to guess how fast or slow the change will be, or how much it will impact you. You just know that transformation is in motion.
If you go back to the caterpillar to butterfly analogy you are inside the chrysalis and you are still just goo. Until you break free of the chrysalis you won’t know what it is that you have transformed into. You won’t know the true impact on your life. What corner(s) have you just turned that you can never go back from? It is like one of those pictures that you can connect the dots on. It is only after the transformation has been completed that you can see what you have transformed into.
I feel like there is an elephant trying to go through a door and it has gotten itself stuck. On the other side of the door is a brand new world to explore. I can get glimpses to see that it is a new world. I can’t however know how much of a change has actually occurred.
Will we all be working from home and will commercial real estate transform all of those buildings into housing? What would that mean for your goals that you are aiming for in your life?
Will the majority of people order groceries and have home delivery? Will grocery stores become more of a shipping facility than a store where you walk down the aisles and buy more than you planned on because of impulse buying? What would that mean for your goals that you are aiming for in your life?
Will drones become the future of deliveries? Will self driving cars that self sanitize become the way of getting from point A to point B if you do have to leave home? What would that mean for your goals that you are aiming for in your life?
All questions and answers can be discussed and explored – but nothing will be truly known until the elephant clears the doorway. Even then it will take time to fully realize that the corner has been completely turned. Before you can see how much the new direction impacts your life.
What you have in this moment though is the ability to be curious. To explore, not with a depressing attitude that the world is changing and you want it to remain the same. But with a curiosity that says, “I wonder what happens next?” “Do I aim high or low with my life goals and dreams?”
I firmly believe that there are going to be some great opportunities when we clear that doorway – when we turn that corner. You can make guesses. You can get curious and talk with others – but only from the perspective of good things are about to happen. This isn’t said to try and make light of the health and economic devastations that are happening. It is said to let you know that you don’t have to let fear take over your life.
You can’t control everything that is happening, or is about to happen. You can take the recommended steps to protect the health of yourself and your family. But once you have taken those steps – then go back into curiosity. Go back into wonder. Stay in the positive emotions of love, joy, happiness. Tell fear that it is in quarantine. Don’t let it out to take over your life.
Come and join our conversation on April 4th. Let’s talk about whatever is showing up for you and how you can turn the corner on fear and change your relationship with it. Let’s talk about your dreams and goals and how you can still be proactive in bringing them into reality. This isn’t the time to go into retraction with your life. It is instead the right time, to proactively take whatever positive steps you can to keep moving forward. To keep expanding the love, joy, happiness, curiosity in your life.
“Know what sparks the light in you, then use that light to illuminate the world” – Oprah
Inside of you is a box of matches. Each of the matchsticks is a gift that you have to Illuminate the world with. Striking the match enables you to bring light to some sort of darkness in the world. The darkness is filled with all of the problems in society we face today. Each time you light one of your matchsticks, you can see some small part of what is hiding in the darkness. Your light will always shine on something that you can help to change in the world.
“Forget about the fast lane. If you want to fly, just harness your power to your passion. Honor your calling. Everybody has one. Trust your heart and success will come to you” – Oprah
If you are brave enough, you strike a match and get curious about the secrets that are hiding in the darkness. Inside of every one of societies problems lies the seed of the answer to what must be changed. Those seeds are germinated with your passion. In order for change to happen, it requires that you strike a match, get curious, and get creative about how to illuminate the possibilities within the seeds. Trust your heart and your calling will light the way.
“To be a star, you must walk your own path, shine you own light and don’t be afraid of the darkness, that’s when a star shines the brightest” – Joel Brown
In times of hardship the automatic reflex is to contract, when in fact you need to expand. You feel that life is shutting you out. That failure is condemning you. Life is unfair, so you wail and kick your feet in frustration. You just want to dig a hole and disappear into it forever. Yet this is the exact time you must open your hands to receive.
“You’re beautiful because you know your own darkness and still, that alone doesn’t stop you from finding your own light” – r.m. drake
Receiving isn’t just allowing someone to help you. It is also saying yes to yourself; to risk; to higher potential; to new adventures. Opening doors to new opportunities. Learning about yourself. Life is all about understanding something you’ve known about your entire life – in a new way. Be willing to be a beginner again, for a whole new world of opportunities is just waiting for you.
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lit the flame within us” – Albert Schweitzer
Somedays it feels like you just can’t motivate yourself to get out of bed. You’re exhausted from beating your head against the obstacles in your life. There are dark shadows obscuring your ability to see what needs to be done. You try to strike a new match to get clarity and nothing happens. You try another match. Then you try a new area to strike the match.
“Be a lamp, a lifeboat, a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd” – Rumi
Sometimes you will need to your light to be rekindled from someone else’s light, and sometimes you can help to illuminate their light source. That is the importance of being part of a tribe. Connection to others who are shining their lights to change themselves and thereby change the world. Instead of just being preoccupied with your problems, you open your heart to the adventures and obstacles of their journey, and your own journey becomes illuminated.
“Most of us are about as eager to be changed as we were to be born, and go through our changes in a similar state of shock” – James Baldwin
Steven Pressfield stated in “The Art of War”, that most of us have two lives; the lives we live and the lives we are capable of living. Many times the worst danger you face is your own uncertainty that what the light is revealing is something that you can face and deal with. Curiosity may have opened the door but what you find may feel like what you have discovered is going to kill you.
“Mosaics are made from broken pieces, but they’re still beautiful works of art, and so are you” – Unknown
Truth will both refine you and define you. It measures you. It takes caution and understanding to know what to do with the truth of who you are. To accept who you have been in the past. To be in awe of who you are revealing yourself to be today. Part of the search for understanding who you came here to be, is to understand that change is how you grow those seeds which crush the obstacles in your path. Spirit understands whatever adversity you face, is also an opportunity. That when you embrace change, change also embraces you.
“Illumination is nothing if you do not share it with anyone. Illumination is about spreading light across entire nations. It’s about wearing that crown that shines like the sun on your head, and getting other minds to synergize with yours” – Suzy Kassem
If you have a vision but no plan, then you have a pipe dream. If you have a vision and a focused plan but lack action, then you’ll have a lot of frustration. This is because you won’t achieve momentum when some days you take action, and some days you don’t. It makes it impossible for you to know what’s working and what isn’t. If you are not intentional about what you say yes to, and what you say no to, then every day will control you and nothing will get done.
That’s where illumination comes in. That’s where striking your match comes in. Come join us on March 7th for our next monthly free webinar on how to live your life with 20/20 focus. How to keep your lamp lit. How to strike your matches and use those divine gifts with purpose to not only shift and change your world, but the entire world. Come and renew yourself. Find your spark and light up those matches!
“Without a vision, where is the focus? ” – Lailah Gifty Akita
Vision tells us our destination. It doesn’t tell us how to get there, it just tells us how we will know when we arrive. Focus is what helps up to do the work to arrive at the destination that vision has uncovered in our heart. Focus is the road to the destination. If we don’t have a vision we can’t have a destination. Without focus, we will find ourselves asleep wandering lost in the forest. We will just keep going in circles back to where we started. Lost, dazed and confused.
If you look back at last year – did you follow your vision or did you go in circles?
Without focus you travel down the road forgetting where you came from. The journey becomes the destination in a twisted sort of way. You will find yourself trying to fill a bottomless hole by acquiring more of everything. To possess things which promise to make you whole, but which instead create an insatiable appetite for more and more. Without focus life becomes a merry go round that never stops.
“When you are clear on your vision, it will pull you forward and out of bed in the morning” – Sean McCabe
We have all heard the story of the person who worked at a job for 30 years, retires and gets the gold watch. Then after a short while of sitting at home with nothing to do, they die. They never uncovered their life purpose, their reason for living. They dragged themselves out of bed each day and went to a job that didn’t fulfill them. They never discovered the reason they were born. Instead they punched a time clock day after day, month after month, until the years fled. They never found their way out of the forest.
“Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but by what your mind can imagine” – Ellison Onizuka
Awaken the sleeper
The only way to find that vision, your life purpose is to look for it. It is deep inside your heart. It is connected to the things that you love to do. It’s not about something that happens in some distant future. It is about the quality of choices you are making in your life this moment. It’s about what you choose to see, to perceive, to feel and what you choose to do in this moment of time. The choices that push you to engage in life at its deepest meaning for you. It changes who you are NOW.
“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens” – Carl Jung
It’s a funny thing when one day you wake up to your vision. You might have been wandering in circles for years, looking for that one special person or that title at work that said “I have arrived!”. You might have worked your fingers to the bone for years to find elusive fame and fortune. Whatever you thought was the answer to that longing deep in your heart, once you had it, you discovered it wasn’t it. It was just another circle in the forest. Then one day it happens. You finally realize it isn’t outside of you. It’s not a person, a career, money in the bank, a dream house or car. It is something inside of you that is calling you home.
“Vision is a destination – a fixed point to which we focus all effort. Strategy is a route – an adaptable path to get us where we want to go” – Simon Sinek
Usually what wakes you up is being disillusioned, disappointed, that feeling you have hit rock bottom. Too many bad decisions and failed plans. When you stop fighting the uphill battle, give up and give in – when you are in that spot of finally understanding what it means to “let go and let God” it finally happens. Your heart feels calm, whole and centered. Your soul comes alive and feels truly safe for the first time because finally we are listening to the inner voice.
Listening with your heart and soul
Your vision becomes clear as you climb a high tree and see the way out of the forest of lost causes. You understand the connections to what has happened in your life and how each trial and tribulation, each circle around the forest was teaching you something vital that you needed to learn. Peace with your past, present and future permeates your bones. You see far off the destination your soul is leading you to. You realize the importance of the journey.
The journey has places where you became confused as to what the right choice was – at the same time that confusion is where you learned something new that stretched your comfort zone. The journey was where you were betrayed and broken by someone you thought loved you and would never hurt you – at the same time it was how you learned to heal your heart. The journey lead to lots of frustration as you tried and failed, over and over to learn something critical to your dreams – at the same time those frustrations lead to more authentic decisions based on your own judgment and not someone else’s.
Make the right choice
Even the parts of the journey where the sadness was a deep pit of despair, you learned to listen the heart, hear the words of wisdom of the soul and recover your happiness and joy.
2020 is the year of focus, and vision. Take a look at every goal in the past five years that you have set. Some of them failed dramatically. Some of them were duds that didn’t even get lift off before they came crashing down. Some were planned to turn out one way and actually came about 180 degrees in another direction.
Now program your GPS system with your updated vision. Get clear about what it is you want to feel and be open to the feeling and not how or what is going to get you there. Look for signs, clues, and ask for directions. Don’t give up on your dreams. Listen to the voice in your heart and soul. Get back on track to where you are supposed to be.
Have a vision
Believe in yourself
Get out there, own the day
I’m inviting you to a virtual get together. We will share some ideas and concepts of how you can make 2020 the year of focus and vision for you. Learn how to create your own personalized dream map, claim your own unique goals of change and transformation; refine them into goal crushing gremlins; and finally, to truly understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
Your destiny has been calling you to wake up, but your fears create patterns of self sabotage. Those patterns of self sabotage have been trying to put you back asleep. Learn how to stay awake and walk the clear path to your date with destiny.
Just click below to get started.
“Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important” – Mark Manson
Every year we commit ourselves to making changes in our lives. We may or may not call them goals, or new years resolutions. The thing is that we all change, whether it is on purpose or it just happens. Those changes can happen in uncontrolled chaos, or from being committed to something vitally important. Whether change happens to us or for us, it is up to us to make those decisions, day by day & moment by moment.
“I wish for the same thing I’ve hoped for since the beginning. I wish for a life so brave, so unpredictable, so full of unexpected joys and unforgettable love that no box could possible contain all my memories. Such a life won’t be perfect. It’ll be something better. It’ll be my own paradise” – Patti Smith
I think that the one thing all of humanity can agree on, is wanting a happy life. It may look different depending on our age, our sexual preference, our religion, our culture, our politics – but it is still desiring joy and happiness in our lives, and our families lives. Each decision that we make in this regard comes from us following those things mentioned above. The funny thing is, the personal definition of what constitutes all of those things — may not be authentic to who we are at a soul level. A lot of them come from following someone else’s value system. Our parents, our teachers, our mentors or the society that we associate with. As they say in Texas, “that dog don’t hunt”.
“Finding the passion and purpose in your life is a trial-by-fire process. You don’t simply wake up one day and become happy doing one thing forever and ever. It’s a constant work-in-progress” – Mark Manson
It’s kind of funny how we have this notion in our head that if we are able to make this one change or answer this one soul searching question about our life, that it will be a one and done thing. That somehow one thing changing would make us happy forever. There is no one-size-fits-all for anything in life. This is because growth is a constantly changing who we are. What makes us happy today in this moment is fleeting. This is because in life, you literally cannot pass this way again. Everything is changing and so this moment in time doesn’t last, it doesn’t repeat itself. Progress is change.
“Passion will move men beyond themselves, beyond their shortcomings, beyond their failures” – Joseph Campbell
What I love about figuring out how to accomplish my desires is the concept of failure as an ending. When you are on your way to someplace that you’ve never been before, even with a navigation system you sometimes end up on a dead end. Just this past week I had a doctors visit and they had moved their office. So I am following the directions on the navigation system in my car and I end up at a dead end. Thankfully there were some security guards talking next to this gate to the high school who knew where I needed to go.
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle” – Christian D Larson
Reaching a dead end, my journey to the doctors office had failed. I didn’t just turn around and go back home. I sought new directions. It’s the same thing with whatever our current life goals are. If you reach a road block, a dead end, the bridge is out – you shouldn’t just quit trying to get to where your passion is leading you. You should try something else. You should go in a new direction to the same destination.
“If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world” – Elaine Dalton
A big part of being able to make the changes in your life that you desire, is a healthy self esteem. It is how you bring your life into soul alignment. It is living a life in integrity to your soul’s purpose. What your true values are deep inside of you. Without going through a process of determining what belongs to your soul – and what was adopted from outside of you from an deep seated need to belong – you can’t make true lasting changes in your life. You can make temporary changes from will power, but it will not result in the personal transformation that you desire.
“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do you won’t be able to talk to your heart” – Paulo Coelho
If you don’t want to continue falling back into old patterns and habits you need to learn a new way to facilitate your life changes. To learn a process that helps you to spot the patterns as they begin again to interfere in your passions and desires for change. As you increase your awareness, you will find those old patterns hold less power and control over your life. They began from a desire to keep us safe. But as you grow and change in life, those patterns become out-grown, outdated. They need to be released. That can only happen by your developing awareness of why you created them and how your subconscious is trying to avoid the risk of standing out and being different.
This year you have some dreams that you are working on. You have some goals that you are struggling with. It might be that you are ready to break out of your comfort zone. To go to that next level in your life. To realize your full potential in your job/career; your personal relationships; your health; financial or spiritual goals. Don’t let them go.
Do something different, join us on March 7th and find a new direction to fulfilling your dreams, goals and commitments.
What I love about life is the ability to always make a change. To do something different. To be someone different. It’s all about choice.
There are many people who look at their lives and decide they have no choices. That life is somehow against them. That they can’t be any different. It is the excuse of people who feel hopeless and helpless. But the reality is that you do get to decide how you are going to live your life.
Is this the life
you want to live?
“There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That’s when the real work begins. To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all” – Christina Yang
When you are in the middle of life’s storms it may seem like all of the trees have been blown over. The roots were just not strong enough to keep the tree anchored in the soil. The homes around you may have suffered extreme damage and become uninhabitable. They weren’t maintained or strong enough to survive the hurricane force winds. When every structure you have created in your life has been ripped apart – what then?
That is the moment to notice that you are still here. You may not be standing, you may have been knocked down. But you are not out. It is in this moment of realizing that you have survived that you can take stock of your life. Because it is in this moment you learn that you were strong enough to survive. That you get to decide what happens next.
Is this the person you want to be?
Are these the relationships you want in your life?
Is this the job/career you desire?
Is this the BEST YOU CAN BE?
Can you be stronger?
I’m sure that you have heard the saying “let go and let God”. It is one of my constant reminders to myself. It feels like letting go is easy. It’s sort of like handing over the trouble to someone else to handle. It relieves you of the responsibility of how things turn out. But at the same time it is human to keep the comfort zone the same. So while you are busy telling yourself that you have let go, you are in fact fighting to keep things the same.
“Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. It’s also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to” – Meredith Gray
How do you know if you’re fighting to keep it? You haven’t moved on. Because in order to have a real change in your life, no matter how painful it is, you have to let go and move on. It’s the only way we can continue to grow.
Letting go is a release. If you have the balloons all stacked up and tied together, they aren’t going anywhere. It’s when you let the wind take up the balloon and blow it across the sky until you can’t see it anymore – that’s when you have really let it go. What you are letting go of is not the dream itself, but the version of the dream you were trying to fulfill.
I think it is human to have some really deep seated desires, beliefs, wishes that you know aren’t ever really going to happen. You were raised to believe in fairy tales, in the tooth fairy, or Santa Claus, in the white knight in shining armor that was going to sweep in and rescue you. You told yourself they weren’t real. You thought you had released them. Then something in life happens, and you realize you are still holding out for that forgotten dream.
It’s that kind of faith, in realities not yet beheld, that keeps us going. And once in awhile something comes into your life that gives you hope. The hope that just maybe that thing you are still hoping for, fighting for, might just come true. That you are going to turn the corner and have your breath taken away by the surprise of how it shows up.
“The best thing in life is to go ahead with all your plans and your dreams, to embrace life and to live life everyday with passion, to lose and still keep the faith and to win while being grateful. All of this because the world belongs to those who dare to go after what they want. And because life is really too short to be insignificant” – Charlie Chaplin
I think that sometimes we don’t see it, because we are demanding that it to show up in a certain way. When in reality it has been in front of us all along. It’s like the love story when the boy or girl is looking at someone as being their soul mate, when in reality the best friend they’ve had their entire life is the one. They didn’t see what they already had.
I think that is what new endings are all about. To realize that the fairy tale is just slightly different than what you have been looking for. That the dream is here right in front of you, just waiting for you to see it in its disguise.
“She woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. she realized that opinions were a dime a zone, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket” – Lessons Taught By Life
This year you have some dreams that you are working on. You have some goals that you are struggling with. It might be that you are ready to break out of your comfort zone. To go to that next level in your life. To realize your full potential in your job/career; your personal relationships; your health; financial or spiritual goals. Don’t let them go.
Join us on March 7th and find a new direction to fulfilling your dreams, goals and commitments.
We are just about two months into the new year. Did you make some new years resolutions, goals, plans for this year?
Some people make goals that are giving something up for a limited time or forever. Some people make goals to bring something new into their life. What you discover every single year is that change is hard. And if that change is motivated by will power alone, it will not last.
“In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be” – The Dreamer
So how are you doing on those goals, plans and intentions to change?
What is your definition of progress?
Having 20/20 vision means that we have done the work to see the connections to what we have decided to change and where we are going with our dreams this year. We have spent the time to map out the year so that we can make some actual progress towards those dreams, instead of letting fears and excuses stall our journey.
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place” – Unknown
Instead of hiding who you are, be bold and step out into the world proclaiming “I am here”. Stop hiding your dreams, thinking that way no one can destroy them any further. Learn to trust your heart and listen to it. Give up on settling for what is possible, and demand your part in the dance of life.
“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it” – Unknown
There is only one way to truly know who you are deep down inside. You have to get in touch with your own soul. You need to be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and just listen. Looking back at your life, find the places where you were really happy. Find the things that are so easy for you to do, that others find hard or impossible. Trace back all of the threads that have your name engraved upon them. Start picking out and removing all of the threads that are not you. Look for the gold and silver pieces and toss out the dross. Now look for the patterns that are left.
It is never too late to be who you were meant to be
The threads of genius that are all you, can now be taken up and made into whatever pattern you want. It is never too late to be who you were meant to be. When you make this journey deep into your soul, you will discover that your life can only change by completely shaking it up. You need to remove what doesn’t belong and then figure out how to rearrange what does. It is an individual journey that defines who you are. You can only discover your truth by looking for it down deep within and then integrating it into your life. 20/20 vision is a lifetime adventure. This journey is for you alone. Embrace it and life it fully.
“To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” – Deepak Chopra
So, how do you make this the year that you transform your life? You do it by finding the pattern that you fit into. If you were to read everything about changing your life with new years resolutions, goals and plans that has been published just this month you might find it overwhelming. Everyone has different ideas about what works. What they really mean is what worked for them.
It’s an individual journey, one size does not fit all
What I have found is that it is really all about making the connections to what I am taking away or adding to my life purpose. I pick what sounds right deep inside of me and leave the rest behind. When I do this, it becomes an infinity loop of expending and getting back energy to keep doing the work. I want to share this process with you, so that you too can be like Goldilocks and find the pieces that fit just right.
“The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated. It isn’t true that everyone should follow one path. Listen to your own truth” – Ram Dass
It’s an individual journey and one size does not fit all. Making your dream a reality isn’t easy. It is sort of like having a puzzle that has the same picture that others have, but your puzzle pieces are cut slightly different. You are missing some pieces and so you discover that they are not inter-changeable. Some pieces might fit, but others won’t. So you have to go to a lot of different puzzles to find the missing pieces that will fit. It’s a risk because each piece that doesn’t really fit, becomes a failure on your part.
“. . . it’s a life’s journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else . . . ” – Mariska Hargitay
If you don’t take the risks, make the changes and transform your life, then your destiny will not be fulfilled. In order to make this a little easier I would love to share with you what I have found. It’s a method of taking bits and pieces from all different methods of change and transformation and creating a pattern that allows me to plug in things that work for me.
You decide what methods of change work for you
Register now to get started.
During the call you will have the opportunity to create, find a pivot or two, reimagine and refuel your life dreams. Start moving that needle of change that you have been working on. You decide what methods of change work for you. Only take the pieces that your soul says yes to. This is an ongoing monthly call in which we share strategies, methodologies, ideas and concepts from many thought leaders. You get to share with others what’s working for you and hear what is working for others. We can all learn from each other sharing both successes and failures.
“The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called failure. A loop called confusion. Speed bumps called friends. Red lights called enemies. Caution lights called family. You will have flat tires called jobs. But if you have determination, an engine called perseverance, and a driver called God you will make it to a place called success!” – drostdesigns.com
This isn’t just about a vision board or an accountability partner. It isn’t just about will power or a positive attitude. Make 20/20 be the year that you don’t get overwhelmed and quit. That this time frustration doesn’t get you stuck in the mud of “it’s just isn’t working” and you give up. It’s about getting past the negative mind talk and making real progress towards your dreams. It is about getting on the road of good intentions and actually getting somewhere.
What I know for sure is that we all hit walls of failure, fatigue, and flat tires. It helps us to have a few tricks up our sleeves to handle them so that they just create slowdowns and maybe a few detours, but don’t stop us completely.
Make this your year of shift, change and transformation. Get 20/20 vision, insight and find your missing puzzle pieces. Complete your own puzzle and see the full picture of who you are becoming.
“A pivot is a change in strategy without a change in vision” – Eric Ries
All around the world people make plans. They set goals. They build on their dreams. Every year brings us some of the same goals and maybe a few new ones. For the majority of us that is as good as it gets. Why? Because sometime in January or February or maybe even March our willpower begins to fade out. We slow down. We procrastinate and put it off for next month. We tell ourselves what’s the hurry? I have all year to get this done.
“How can you see things differently here? Your next level of success wants to know” – Heathere Evans
What if this year you do something unique? What if you pivot instead?
What if you do something different?
“You can only succeed. You cannot fail. Failure is impossible . . , an illusion. . , Nothing. Everything moves the human story. . , forward. Everything advances you on your journey” – Neal Donald Walsh
Thinking back to secondary education (Jr. High, High School or College) did you get assignments done when they were assigned or when they were due? How many late night cram sessions did you have to do to finish a paper that you had weeks to complete but waited until the last minute?
The majority of us were late night crammers. And that is one of the things that leads us to fail in our new years resolutions, goals, and plans. Not fail as in we can’t do it, but fail as in we decide to quit trying to do it. When you make goals with the intention of being accomplished within 12 months, you will delude yourself that you have plenty of time until there isn’t any time, and then you will quit. Why?
When you are out of integrity with yourself it will play out in your life
Because unlike school when you would have failed a class and then been grounded by a parent, you are only lying to yourself. The problem with lying to ourselves though, is that we are then out of integrity with ourselves and it will play out in our life. Every time we say we are going to do something, that negative voice will say – “yeah right – I know that I am not really going to accomplish this, so why waste any time or effort in pretending.”
“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here” – Steve Jobs
This year what if instead of a 1 year plan, why don’t you do something different? Do a weekly plan. You choose how many weeks you want to plan for. 12 weeks is sufficient to work in a new positive habit. For most goals it gives us enough time to plan out how to accomplish it. If the goal needs more than 12 weeks such as education, we can plan out major steps that can be accomplished within 12 weeks.
“A vision and strategy aren’t enough. The long-term key to success is execution. Each day. Every day” – Richard M Kovacevich
Get out your pencil and three pieces of paper, For this exercise I want you to limit yourself to three goals. Write one goal on each sheet of paper.
“How does the WHY relation to the vision” – Simon Sinek
Now write down some steps that would need to happen in order for you to accomplish your goal. As an example, you might want to go back to school to get a degree for a change in your career or to help you advance further in your degree. Since this is probably more than 1 year, plan out 3 steps that can be accomplished within the chosen number of weeks.
“Time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped . . , living with the results of others people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise . . , drown out your own inner voice. . , have the courage to follow your heart and intuition” – Steven Jobs
You must also write down the WHY this goal is important to you. What dream is it helping you accomplish? How do you feel about that dream? What emotions does it create deep inside of you? What is the importance of it to you – not anyone else? If it isn’t pulling you to complete it, it’s not really your goal. Keep digging until you reach that place where the dream hooks you. Then do the following step.
Only list three steps that can be accomplished within the chosen timeframe. Our goals should always be driven to our life purpose. To move forward into who we are meant to be, who we are becoming. Otherwise it is just wasting our time, effort and money.
Always check in with our inner guidance system, and follow where that is leading us. There will always be some positive emotions, some connection – it will lead us if we get quiet and listen and feel for it.
“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle” – Steve Jobs
For a budget goal, you could plan out goals for each pay period. Weekly, biweekly, monthly – according to the time frame your paychecks arrive.
Continue in a similar manner for your third goal. What is so cool about this pivot is that you can play with it to see what number of weeks works for you. The budget goal for example will continue all year long. You will have accomplishments for each time period that you are working through. Celebrate each milestone – it is what fuels you to the next milestone and gets you over the disappointments when life happens and creates havoc in accomplishing our dreams.
“Our vision is actionable only if we share it. Without sharing, it’s just a figment of our imagination” – Simon Sinek
You are invited to a virtual get together. Let’s share some ideas and concepts of how you can make 2020 the year of focus and vision for you. Working together with the synergy of a group, you will learn how to create your own personalized dream map, claim your own unique goals of change and transformation; refine them into goal crushing gremlins; and finally, to truly understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
“If the challenge we face doesn’t scare us, then it’s probably not that important” – Simon Sinek
Click below to get started.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. So take a second and think about what I wrote up above. Did you take out paper and pencil or did you just read through it thinking that you would come back later and do it?
What I also know about myself is that if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. I will answer the questions and get my brain thinking and planning. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Commit to your dreams. Travel down a clear path to your date with destiny.
“If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough” – Unknown
It takes determination when you are knocked down to get back up, but it is only when we have been knocked down that courage enters. It takes courage to face the failure. It takes courage to try it one more time. It takes courage to find failure once more in your face daring you to try again.
Is it failure or part of the divine plan?
In life many things don’t happen the way we plan them. In a lot of cases what seems like failure is actually part of the divine plan. Years ago I walked away from a pretty secure job because I was promised the opportunity for advancement at another company. I took on the responsibility of completing a manual of guidelines for the new company because the person they had hired for it wasn’t getting it done. I had never written anything before other than papers for school. I figured that I could simply expand that knowledge into something new and I did.
Then shortly afterwards the market turned and I was laid off. Because the market had slowed down in Southern California, there weren’t any jobs available and we ended up having to relocate back to the Seattle area for me to find employment. I had berated myself for leaving the previous company; for believing the owner of that new company; for the market turndown. I had beat myself up pretty badly.
An interesting thing happened in Seattle. The Savings and Loan I was hired to work for hired me in the advanced position I wanted. The S&L needed a servicing manual and I had the experience to write it. I was also hired to teach a course for loan processing and underwriting at South Seattle Community College and Renton Voc-Tech. All things I wouldn’t have had the courage or opportunity to reach for if I hadn’t made that job change back in California.
I believe it was all part of divine planning. Can you think of such examples in your own life? Times when what you planned shifted and changed into what you thought was failure, but was actually part of the plan all along?
Of Caterpillars and leaps of faith
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” – Eleanor Roosevelt
It is in seeing the beauty of your dreams that you are able to get back up after you have failed. Finding your life purpose and then bringing it out into the world isn’t an easy journey. While your soul will not give up, your mind is constantly entreating you to give up. Seek the peace of sleep. Take it easy.
“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for” – Oprah
It’s a constant tug of war between mind and spirit. When your soul is inspired it sets you on fire. You find yourself doing things you never would have dreamed it was possible to do. Every negative thought your mind produces is shot down. Like the caterpillar you have the push to transform beyond any understanding.
“Don’t spend time beating on a wall hoping to transform it into a door” – Coco Chanel
Like the caterpillar you learn new skills, building a space in which to transform. That is what goals and dreams are all about – change and transformation.
You have this yearning to be something different from what you are currently being. You have these feelings that you can’t really put words to. You just know that you have to do it. Can you imagine the caterpillar building a chrysalis and then standing back and judging it as not being good enough? That the caterpillar would just turn away and forget the whole transformation thing?
The caterpillar doesn’t care that he has never built anything before. He doesn’t care if it isn’t the perfect shape, or on the wrong branch. He doesn’t care if the wind is blowing it sideways and maybe today isn’t the best day to complete it. He is so involved, that he has gone so far out of his comfort zone, it isn’t even in the same town or state.
He is so involved with using these skills – skills that he didn’t even know he was capable of learning, that he is taking a huge leap of faith. A leap of faith that what he has built, is what it is supposed to look like and feel like. He trusts his divine inner guidance and forges ahead. He trusts that what he is becoming will allow him to transform his outer being in such a way that he will fly.
Where does such trust come from?
You know down deep in your heart and soul that you will never regret giving everything you have to accomplish your dreams. You know that giving your best effort and then digging down to bring up that tiny bit of extra you didn’t know you were capable of will be worth the cost. How do you know this?
“The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Because you see everywhere examples of where other people have done just that. They worked stuff out, no matter the cost. It’s not a one size fits all world. It’s through trial and error that we work stuff out. You have a secret weapon. You figured out that in every single change, rather than judging it as good or bad, you see the possibilities rather than the problem.
That’s what the loss of a job in Southern California and the wonderful opportunities that opened up in Seattle taught me. In every single change, there is a long hallway. A hallway with all of these doors of possibility open and inviting you to step through. That is where is courage comes into play – stepping through the door and into the possibilities.
“Have goals, Chase dreams, but do not let your Happiness depend on their achievement” – Manoj Arora
There is a promise today that we can achieve happiness from living a better life. It might be taking certain herbs, oils or medications. The promise of living a vegan, vegetarian, paleo lifestyle, that somehow having a special diet will make us feel happier. Detoxing from all electronics. Living a simple lifestyle, purging our homes of all the material things others think make them happier. They all promise to somehow give us more energy and therefore more happiness.
You might still buy into that vision of being super woman – the woman that can balance raising children, maintain a pristine “Better Homes & Garden” home, successfully climb the corporate ladder, and still wear the sexy lingerie every night. Who can be the soccer mom, volunteer at school. and bake homemade cookies for the classroom. That mom who schedules and drives to every doctor appointment, after school activity, and social event.
“Sweetheart, marry your goals. Remain committed to success and be loyal to your dreams. It’s okay to choose yourself” – r.h. Sin
Focus on what matters
You are so busy chasing perfection, that happiness when it briefly touches you, it is lost as a momentary endorphin high. With each hit, we immediately start seeking the next one.
“Don’t chase your dreams . . , Instead . . , Hunt your goals” – Preeya
Instead of moving immediately to the next thing on your list, sit on the feelings of happiness. Notice those moments of being grateful, relaxed, and appreciated that come from being happy. Feel it completely. Focus on the joy.
Like taking that first bite of your favorite food, savor the feeling from the top of your body down to your toes. Taking the time to fully experience happiness converts it from a temporary endorphin high to making it a lasting change in your mind and mood.
“She loves – the smell of coffee; blooming roses; and new beginnings” – Unknown
There is this balance of being happy from when you get a raise, and the happiness of completing a complex long term goal. The first one lifts your mood (an endorphin high) – like a favorite song that makes you want to sing and dance. The second one is deeply fulfilling because it was difficult to achieve. The amount of happiness in your life is dependent on the quality of your thoughts.
The question to ask yourself is “what is your definition” of a life well lived? All you will get from chasing perfection is exhaustion. Get curious about what makes you happy? Your current circumstances have nothing to do with your current state of happiness or lack thereof. Ask yourself where your passion comes from? What gives you joy?
“Do not chase another human being. Instead, chase your curiosity. Chase your development and your goals. Chase your passion. Strive to work for something bigger than yourself, and instead of trying to convince someone that you fit within their world – build your own” – Bianca Sparacino
It’s the little things that create a lasting happiness.
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you” – Deepak Chopra
Make your own list of little things that make you happy and include those things with every goal you create. You will find it easier to start each new goal and to build and keep momentum in accomplishing each goal. It’s vitally important to remember that the goals you set are not a final destination.
“There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that comes from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence” – Deepak Chopra
Goals, dreams and visions are a part of the journey, not your final destination. The combination of the quality of goals you set for yourself and how they expand your comfort zone creates who you are becoming. It is the self knowledge that each experience reveals to you that tells you where you are on your journey of self knowledge. It is walking in the direction of your life’s purpose that brings in lasting happiness.
I invite you to join us on February 1st for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement.
Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
Instead of just thinking “I could do this” come and find out just how much you can do, confront your deepest fears. Stop playing small. Shine out in all of your brilliance. Give yourself permission to be all that you can be in 2020.