There are no endings. Just New Beginnings
“Keep going. Everything you need will come to you at a perfect time” – unknown
Just keep swimming. The storm clouds will pass, and the sun always shines once again. It may seem like you are walking through the valley of shadows and death alone, but that is an illusion.
There is the invisible spiritual world that is always by your side. There are friends and relatives that may not know how to help, what to say or do – but they are cheering you on. There are people in this world who every night pray for those who feel they are lost on life’s journey.
Just as your faith can move mountains, your doubts are what put them there. Stop creating barriers that you have to fight to get over.
“Have the courage to make the change, the strength to see you through it, and faith that everything will turn out for the best” – unknown
Some leave you because they are not interested in a transformational journey any longer. They wish to stay safe within their comfort zone and make no waves that might swamp their little boats.
Some you leave because you realize that you can’t continue to carry their weight and still walk your own path. You have to cut the chains that are dragging you down.
Out of the best of motives, you find that you have done too much for someone, and you have to stop. It only hurts them to continue. You are not giving up on them. It was just time to release them to their own journey, and for them to find their own way. It is not the end of your story, just the end of their part in your story. And that is ok.
“Note to self: None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an afterthought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like a hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else” – Nanea Hoffman
If you have never read any of Caroline Myss’s books or heard her speak I highly encourage you to check out her body of work. To me she is that really critical aunt that drove you crazy as a kid, but you learn to love and appreciate as an adult. Because everything that she says is total reality, no sugar coating, and is the best advice that you could get.
The whole reason to be on the path to personal self-transformation is to realize that there are parts of you that are not in balance. To learn how to bring them back out of the shadow and into the light. You can’t do that work unless you are willing to be totally honest with yourself.
“Facing personal truths and purging yourself of addictions or manipulative habits requires strength, courage, humility, faith, and the other qualities of a soul with stamina, because you are not just changing yourself; you are changing your universe. Change one coordinate in your spiritual compass and you change your entire life’s direction” – Caroline Myss
“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears” – Nelson Mandela
If you are willing to make a few mistakes, to have a few failures, you can learn how to release the monsters from under your bed. You can take on one monster at a time. You can talk to it and learn its story, its reason to exist. They were created when you were small and most of their stories are just bits of truth wrapped up in drama, trauma, and misunderstanding.
If you can unwind the experience, you can help them take off their masks and their costumes. You can take away their illusions. You can help them understand that their help was exactly what we needed at the time. You can thank them for protecting you. And if you can change one small thing for them, you can transform their relationship with you.
One small change at a time, one degree makes all of the difference.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who we really are” e.e. cummings
Walking on the path of the transformation life, you sometimes find your path ends with a large body of water that needs to be crossed. You might swim across, but sometimes that body of water has a strong current, rapids or even is close to the drop off of a waterfall. So, swimming might seem too risky.
You could look for a way to build a bridge across. But you might decide that you don’t have the “know how” to build a bridge.
You could build a boat to row across, but maybe you don’t have the funds to buy the lumber.
Or you could fly.
What you must never do is to be afraid of doing whatever is needed to get across that body of water. Because the worst thing that can happen is that you build a house alongside that body of water, and never even attempt to get across. That is guaranteed to give you a life of regrets. To be always wondering “what if?” What if you could have flown across?
What might you have accomplished in your life, if you had just risked continuing down the path of a transformational life?
What is necessary is that you are stronger than your excuses. Whenever you hear yourself say the word, “but”, you need to stop what you are saying. Because whatever follows but is an excuse. You don’t need to unpack your backpack at the word “but” and build a home there. What you need to do is to get a shovel and dig under the excuse to find the pattern of sabotage that is underneath the excuse.
Root out the pattern and recognize it as a fear. Shift and change how you are dealing with that fear. Doubt has built another mountain, and you can refuse to climb it. You can instead have faith in yourself, in your friends and family, in your spiritual beliefs, and know that if you built that mountain, you can take it apart and keep on your journey.
“When it is all finished, you will discover that it was never random” – unknown
When I look back at what I thought were mistakes, I see these links. I took a new job, which ended three months later. I was laid off and I couldn’t find work. I lost my car because I had no money. I moved out of state. I got a new job and the reason they hired me?
It was because of what I was doing at that job for three months. That experience led to a promotion for a position that I had been aiming for, to teaching at two different community colleges, to creating and running a training program for seven branches of a savings and loan bank. None of which would have happened without that job for three months.
So was it a mistake? I don’t think so. Nothing in that string of experiences was random. I was following the path of self transformation. Sometimes the path kicks you butt, and sometimes you kick it back.
So, what do we do? You swim. You just keep swimming. You make mistakes and you keep swimming. You try new things and you keep swimming. You change yourself, your world and you just keep swimming.
I hope this year, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world.
You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, wherever it is, art, or love, or work, or family, or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, DO IT.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.
– Neil Gaiman