As a society we tend to take a single action and let that one mistake define a person. They become a hero or a zero in that one moment. Take an example like a successful business person who has donated both time and money to charity, who has a strong loving family, and who one night makes an error in judgment to drive after having 3 drinks with dinner, and who then has a car accident – does this one error in judgment forever define him as a drunk driver? It shouldn’t, but it sometimes does.

We tend to judge others like we judge ourselves in our heads, negatively. We really need to look at not only our own internal judgments, but also those judgments that we make about others. Instead of defining a person by one action, we need to define them by all of their actions, as a whole person. If you want to know how judgmental you are, look at the judgments that you form about others that you may barely know based on something that you heard or read. The same way that we are judging them, so will we internally condemn ourselves.

So listen to how you talk about others; how you judge them based on some single action and then take a moment to mentally write down every positive thing they have ever done. Who is this person as a total person? Now do the same thing for yourself. Who are you as a woman; a daughter; a sister; a friend; a spouse; a mother; a grandmother; as a worker (business owner/employee/employer); as a total human being? Note the wonderful things that you have done for society, for your family; for your friends – everything you have accomplished since you were born – look at all the good that has been done and realize that these are only the things that you know about or will permit yourself to acknowledge. Your friends and family could expand that list (probably by pages and pages), as well as the kindness you have displayed to strangers that changed their life and you didn’t even know about it.

Give yourself the acknowledgement that one deed does not define a person, but rather it is a lifetime of accomplishments, good and bad that say who you are. You will recognize that the truth sets you free from both internal and external judgments when your conversations, both internal and external, look at the total truth to define both ourselves and others.

Fears are false beliefs, misinterpretations that our mind creates in order to keep us “safe”, free from getting hurt. Your “personal story” is what stops you from breaking free of the fears. You need to release this story in order to step out beyond your fears and take the risks that life needs you to take, in order to grow and find the things that we are seeking from life.

How do we release the story? Joseph Campbell says “Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” This is true because whatever has happened to us in life, changed us in some way that can be used in a positive way. Until we can find that place of joy, the experience or story that we tell ourselves is actually harming us. We need to release that version of the story to move forward in our journey.

We need to learn, feel, change, grow, love and learn from that experience and let the joy burn out the pain, and leave us with the happiness that is our birthright. My “stories” viewed through the lens of time and experience have created who I am. I celebrate them and myself, because of those experiences, I am free to take the risks of creating a better world for myself and others. And that is what makes me happy!

While I would not consider myself ordinary, I also have never thought of myself as extraordinary – just weird and happy with being different.

I love the thought of how when you visualize the impossible it becomes possible. It reminds me of great science fiction writers like Jules Verne. When we wrote about submarines and diving great depths into the sea, no one had invented how those things could be done. His imagination written down on paper, and read by young men sparked their imaginations to visualize that what they were reading could be possible, and so it was.

What if what Felix Baumgartner just did, jumping from a space capsule 71,580 feet above the earth is how all astronauts re-enter to earth?

And what if we all started today imagining a world where Malala and any other female has the right to education without endangering their life?

And what if we all started today imagining a world where no one ever experiences such torment as Amanda Todd, to where they feel they have to end their life?

What if we all imagined a world where we all had the kinds of courage that these three individuals expressed, to make great strides into the future – to a world where we have the freedom and ability and support to be the best that we can be? All three of them told their story, Amanda showed great courage in telling her story; Malala stood up to tell her story knowing that it could end with her giving her own life; Felix did something that no one thought was possible.

What kind of world would you like to bring from your imagination and into reality?

It takes great courage to reach for the stars if you feel that you are being bound by the needs of others. It isn’t that any of them are acting as an anchor by putting pressure on me, as it my own insecurities reaching out grabbing at any available hook to keep me bound to where I am.

When you go into the deep silence of yourself and listen to that voice, you know that you have to go for it. I have spent too many years rooted to the slow and steady progress of building a career, and while it scares me to death, I know that I have to reach out to those stars and not let anything hold me back.

It is the big dream that moves mountains and changes the hearts of those you touch. I have one of those dreams. I have to trust the instincts and feelings deep inside my heart. This vision is too important and vital to be put on a shelf. This vision is bigger than me and will enroll everyone that I tell it to, because I am willing to live this vision.

This vision is my turning point, and it is changing the course of my life. And while it scares me more than anything I have ever faced, I am committed to bringing it to the world. And if it changes the world even a fraction of how it has already changed me, then it will be worth the price of admission.

I believe that all of us are more powerful than we think we are. I believe that we all have the courage to bring into reality the grandest vision of ourselves. And if you need some courage to bring your vision into reality, I will lend you some of mine. And when I start having second thoughts, you can lend me some of yours, and together we will master the courage to change ourselves, and the world into the grandest vision of hands reaching out to help each other.

And so it shall be, and so it is.

2. See yourself as in control of your destiny. We all have problems and setbacks, but things only begin to turn around when you take ownership of your situation. Then you can begin to move forward.

3. Focus on what’s right with your life. This is a tall order in some cases. Many of us are dealing with unfortunate economic or personal circumstances. Still, you can’t wallow in it. Accept that the past is past. Forgive any transgressors, not for their sake but for yours. Start imagining how things could improve. This is the predisposition to action.

4. Gratitude. Take a moment each day to recall three things that happened that day that you can be grateful for. It could be a problem that you resolved, an unexpected call from a friend, a smile from someone you love, or just enjoying the stars in the night sky.

So in summary, be interested in others; set goals to achieve your dreams; take ownership of where you are and where you want to go – you are in control, even if you’re abdicating it; be grateful for what is, release the past and improve your future.

Of course it is mostly subconscious and not on purpose, but it happens just the same. Whenever you utter an excuse, it is usually a lie. I’m too busy, is usually something else, like I’m just not interested; or you are afraid of what others might think if you did it; or you are just plain scared to put yourself out there. You lie to yourself by making up the excuse because it is easier and safer to believe 100% in the validity of the excuse.

If you want to explore under the excuse, start by exploring the feelings you have around it. Lift up each feeling and keep saying “what else is here?” as you look for the true feeling at the bottom of the pile. That elusive feeling is attached to something that happened in your past that may not seem connected to the logical mind. It is a feeling, not the memory that it is attached to. Once you recognize the feeling, you free yourself to remember that this is just my subconscious trying to protect me. What I am thinking about doing now is not the same as the past memory, and so reminding myself of that truth, I can now make a truthful decision from this place without that connection.

You may say thank you for a gift that you don’t even like, because you were trained (translated you got into trouble) to always say thank you for a gift. Instead why not look at the gift and find a truly useful thing about it that you can be grateful for, and then when you say thank you, you will mean it. You aren’t just grateful, you appreciate the time and energy that this person put into finding you what they thought was the perfect gift. It isn’t perfunctory, it is from the heart. Their heart will know and feel it, and everyone will have a warm heartfelt appreciation glowing out into the world.

You can create beautiful works of art throughout the design of the house. I have seen embossed leather wallpaper in a study with dark wood bookshelves and a large fireplace that made me want to live in that room. I have seen such grand staircases that you wanted to dress up like Scarlet O’Hara and come down the staircase to make a grand entrance.

As an architect you can use your imagination and create a life that has never been lived in the past, and will never be lived in the future. You can make a difference, not just in the small circle of people that you live with and around, but you can make a difference to the whole world.

Look at some of the medical advances, that were dreamed up because someone wanted to cure their mom or dad or sibling or spouse. Vaccinations that have saved millions of lives. We are all here for some reason. You may think that your gift is a small thing. But your gift has a reason for being in the world at this moment. You are here as part of the picture, and without you the picture will be incomplete.

I have heard several of the contestants on The Voice (listening for when my neice finally!! is on the show) say that singing is the only thing that saved them. There was an example of a girl with something wrong with her brain that couldn’t talk and singing somehow fixed the damage; the boy who was obese and bullied who found solace in singing; and how singing was the only thing that pulled another boy through depression when both of his parents had illnesses that took their lives. Now they are sharing the gift that saved them with the world. And somewhere in the world, someone is going to be saved through their own unique gift because they now know it is possible.

So be the architect of your future.  Don’t let what has happened to you in your past stop you from living the life of your dreams. Somewhere in the world is someone who needs to hear your story and know what is possible for their own lives. Your people are waiting for you to step up, don’t keep them waiting forever.

But the truth is that all emotions originate inside of us. They originate from some story that we are telling ourselves is true. They come from a perception, projection, or interpretation to what we see through the filter of our mind. Your internal fears are telling you that something is missing, when in fact real happiness is just behind the illusions that your mind is projecting.

Watch a baby to see how effortless happiness is. There is a video on you tube of a baby that has a piece of paper and the baby just laughs and laughs as the dad rips the paper. (it is called Baby Laughing Hysterically at ripping paper (Original). Look it up for a moment of happiness for yourself). Happiness is a natural part of life, not the result of anything that we do. It is like the air that we breathe, always there and part of life waiting to be experienced. It can’t be possessed, or chased after. It just is.

Babies are such good examples of letting the emotions flow through you. They might get mad and cry, and then two minutes later they are giving you kisses or laughing at you. They don’t get attached to their emotions; they don’t let them rule their experience of life, and that is why they are such good examples of experiencing happiness.

Babies also love to make you laugh. They love to spread their happiness to everyone they meet. I’ve never met someone who when a baby smiled at them or laughed didn’t smile themselves. They are so contagious with their happiness, they love to share it. We need to follow their example, and enjoy life every moment!

As a business person have you ever thought of yourself as a great leader? It is what every successful business person is.

The list could go on and on. I was at a seminar this past weekend with the Rejuvenate crowd, listening to the same workshop that I attended almost 2 yrs ago. It really hit home how much I have changed personally in the last year and a half. And some of those changes happened because Jesse and Sharla are great leaders themselves.

I firmly believe that the universe puts us in front of great leaders to prepare us to be one ourselves. My whole life shifted at one of Jesse Koren’s talks when I was given permission to become the great leader that I always knew deep inside that I could be, but was afraid to be. It is a very vulnerable place to be, because great leaders are not only noticed, they are judged. The truth is though, that we are all judged everyday. Some of those judgments are true, some are just someone else’s perception or projection.

Since we are all judged no matter what, why not step into that place of vulnerability and become the great leader that you are? I watched this past weekend a crowd of people that the universe had brought to listen to Jesse. Some of them said yes to the stretch outside of their comfort zone, hopeful that what Jesse had to teach would enable them to grow into the great leaders that they knew themselves to be.

Some of them said no. They had their reasons (most of which were excuses), as to why they couldn’t stretch past their boundaries. It is so sad to me personally because I know that they each of them have a gift that our world needs so badly to shift the consciousness of our world into peace and harmony. I only hope that the next opportunity that the universe puts into their path, is one that they say yes to. We are all waiting for you to express your gift. We need you to do so.

I celebrate everyone who is saying yes to growth and expression of the gift they have for us. It is such a high, a absolute joyous high, when you are growing and learning to more fully be who you are and sharing yourself with the world! See me, doing the “Snoopy” happy dance, celebrating both you and me giving ourselves to shifting the world to a better place!!!!

It’s a funny thing about a rut – when you are in one, you lose sight of the landscape because the rut is a wide, deep groove that obscures what is around you. You can only see straight ahead and behind you – the landscape to the left and right is hidden. Taking this as an analogy, the rut causes you to lose sight of the goals and dreams of your life, and leaves you with no vision of what is around you. And because the rut is a comfortable groove, well worn like a comfortable pair of shoes, we tend to stay in it, until the rut becomes so deep it seems impossible to climb out of.

We become like a cog in a machine, going around in circles – having the same routine each day when we get up in the morning, driving back and forth to work the same way each day, watching the same T.V. shows each evening – spinning around and around until something breaks us out of the routine. We have some crisis happen in our life – it could be the death of a loved one, a serious illness for ourselves or a close friend/family member. Something happens that causes us to wake up to what we are doing with our life. A tidal wave strikes us and lifts us up out of our rut, and we look at our life wondering how we got so far off-track from our dreams.

A challenge is not stress from our work or a family crisis at home. A challenge is something that is good for us, that causes us to reach beyond what we thought was our limit, to discover there are no limits. So using this definition, what have you done this year that caused you to change and grow – what have you done that you didn’t think you could do? If nothing comes to mind, you still have a few months left of 2012 to achieve something wonderful that makes a dream come true!

Don’t wait for the tidal wave to hit you, instead become a force of nature, taking action for yourself and your dreams. Don’t die with your dreams still inside of you. Live out loud!

As part of the program, we learned to release our resistance to things by paying attention to the energy that we bring with us as we live our lives. When you have resistance and pull the cord of energy that is attached to that resistance, it creates a totally new way of dealing with the “drama of everyday” as things that pop into our lives.

I think that this level of awareness is what Guy Finley was referring to with this quote. I also believe that living life with this level of awareness is illuminating, as you begin to see how the little irritants that we are used to living our life with, can simply be let go. It isn’t necessary to be attached to the story that we tell ourselves about what someone said or didn’t say; what someone did or failed to do; and how it really isn’t all about us at all. Pulling the cord releases the drama and then we can look objectively at the issue at hand and determine how much of the drama was simply created by our own illusions about what something means.

Living with this level of awareness isn’t an easy thing to do, but it is something that we can remind ourselves of everyday. At first we realize what we have done afterwards. Then we pull the energetic cord and forgive ourselves for falling into the illusion again. And if we pay attention, we start catching ourselves right in the middle of the illusion; and then one day we stop ourselves from spinning the illusion right at the beginning. Of course since we aren’t yet perfect we still spin some interesting stories that we will find ourselves pulling cords over, but as time progresses the stories become few and far between.

I think that a good catch phrase is “what does love want this to be?” If we can just remember to ask this before the drama starts, we have the “perfect” level of awareness for every relationship that we enter into everyday of our life.

So someone with a strong faith will do things that they never thought possible, even risking their life to save others. The hero is actually birthed by the strong faith. This isn’t necessarily a faith in oneself or a higher spiritual being, although both of those play into it. It is a strong faith in the idea itself that is being defended. It is the passionate belief of the individual along with those other things that are always talked about.

The woman who lifts an automobile off her child doesn’t have strong faith in that moment that she can lift the car, and probably doesn’t even have a thought about how heavy the car is. What she has strong faith in, is that she will do anything to protect that child and at the moment that means, lifting hundreds of pounds like it is a sack of potatoes. If asked she will say that it was a miracle of God, or that she doesn’t know how it happened.

In Viktor Frankl’s time it was what motivated people to save people of a different religion that they didn’t know, at the risk of their lives and of their families lives. That strong faith could have come from a religious belief; from saving the children who were at risk; from the value of a human life – no matter whose life it was; from a combination of these things and others that they were personally passionate about. But the strong storm of the Nazi regime was the motivating wind of destruction that struck a cord within them that said, “no more” can I stand by and do nothing.

Today in your life, what are you willing to give thought to and apply that strong faith to, and change in your life or the lives of others from that same place?