If we look around our world we see so many problems, with people struggling to put food on the table, make the rent/mortgage payment, worried about losing their job and their families, and the stress seems unbearable. The problems are so large, and they are so intertwined that we can’t even see where we could start to help, or we feel that the help is too small and wouldn’t make any difference. We worry that we might start something that has unintended consequences, and so we “cross the street” so as not to see it, and continue with our lives doing nothing.

But look that what Amelia says – a single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions and those roots spring up to make new trees. You may not know what to do, but any act of kindness can be life saving. That person who received the smile may have went back home to a spouse and children, who would have been left without the bread winner. That smile could have caused him to try one more time to get hired on at the local store, and this time they said yes. That smile could have caused him to get counseling and save his marriage. That smile could have made it possible for his daughter to go to college, and become the scientist that created the cure for a disease that kills thousands.

Her quote is like the butterfly that flaps his wings in Brazil and changes the climate in America. You just don’t see the roots that spring out from one act of kindness and the tress that grow from that. What I do know is that most of the wonderful inventions, creations and programs that help all of us, come from someone who experienced hardship in their life and stood up and said “no more”. No one should have to experience this, and so they stand up and make the difference.

Your “smile” whatever that is, could be the one thing that shifts the balance and it can make a difference. So instead of “crossing the street” today, see if there is one thing that you can do, because that one thing will spread roots across the world and shift the balance.

So like Johnny Appleseed, plant some trees and don’t worry about how small the seed is. There are still apple trees across America that were planted by Johnny, and he didn’t need to look back to see the fruits of his labor, because he believed that God would make each and every seed sprout and spread roots and grow strong.

It has really made me think about how I react when someone tells me of a new dream. In the past it wasn’t so much that I downplayed their dreams as unachievable or not valid, but rather in the back of my mind was the thought that here is one more thing that they won’t finish or accomplish. I would think of them as niche switchers. These are people who every month are changing their business model to something new. Now that for the first time I have a passionate vision, (which really means that the vision has me!) what I realize is that one of two things is happening – either they are allowing those close to them to cause them to stop, or they haven’t yet found that one thing that they would leave everyone behind in order to accomplish.

So what I now think about is helping them to either fully embrace their visio, not letting anyone tell them not to risk it. Or to seek it more powerfully – what I notice is that each new version of themselves falls around the same general principal. So I think that they just haven’t expanded their vision big enough. They are still playing it safe around what they think that they can do, and they need to blow that vision up into it’s impossible, and then accept that it is possible. That is when the vision gets them, and they can get behind it, and go out and learn how to make it happen. That is when the magic happens. Enthusiasm will fire up the engines and there won’t be any stopping or switching, just full steam ahead! We can do it!

As we were leaving the event I asked if they had signed up for Marcia Weider’s dream workshop on 6/23. They had and we were talking about having dinner afterwards or the night before, she wasn’t sure when they would arrive. Then in response to a comment I made about looking for referrals to help with the business, she said that I needed to write out an outline and get really clear about what I was doing, because after 3 days of talking to me she still didn’t understand what I wanted to do. After all she said, they had just made a presentation and the one person on the panel that they most wanted to impress, had just told them that she didn’t understand exactly what they did.

I thanked her for the advice, but was crushed inside. On the 2 hr drive home I thought about what she had said, and while I am sure that I have a lot of work to do in getting clear on my message in the matter of conciseness, I don’t really think that anyone who has heard me speak about my vision, would say they don’t understand it at all. It was her own internalized pain speaking out, and I just happened to be handy.

I share this because on the road to bringing a vision to reality, we will all have things said and/or done to us that crush us momentarily. Not everything will be true, but I do believe that everything that is said or done can be used to make us a better vehicle for our vision. It all comes down to believing in yourself and your vision so strongly that even if no one else can see it, we can. And that belief coupled with action can bring that vision into reality.

A second important point is in looking at the how Charlie Chaplin saw the world and then interpreted it into his acting. Everything has a gift in it. So bonus quote is the quote from “The Universe” that came today – “For every setback, disappointment and heartbreak, sheryl, ask yourself, “What does this create the opportunity for?” And therein you will find its gift. Everything has a reason”, The Universe

Would Charlie Chaplin have been the great actor he was if he hadn’t experienced the orphanage and trying to find enough to eat? Maybe, maybe not, but he certainly saw the gift and used it. So what do you do when someone consciously or unconsciously steps on your dream in some way? Do you give up, walk away, and call it a day? Or do you look for the gift and the opportunity?

Out of the 20 probably 2 or 3 did a good job. Most of them didn’t have it practiced enough, didn’t cover what all needed to be covered and repeated almost verbatim the same mistakes. It was interesting how because they were so nervous and focused on what they were going to say when they went on the stage, that they didn’t take the opportunity presented as they watched, to edit what they were doing to avoid the same mistakes.

How many times in our lives have we watched someone walk down the wrong path, and because we were so invested in what we were doing have we repeated the same mistake in ours?

What I also thought was interesting, was how many people pitch to investors looking for money and come away thinking that there isn’t any money available? When the real reason they didn’t get funded, is that they didn’t hook or engage the investor because they weren’t prepared with the right information.

How many people today go into a job interview and blow it, and walk away saying that there aren’t any jobs?

Real success is admitting when you blow it, and not trying to hide behind blaming someone or something else. I would rather work with someone who admits their mistake, learns from it where they went wrong and doesn’t repeat it.

That is a person of integrity, because none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes, the key is admitting and learning from them. That baggage is actually honed life skills. A different perspective is all that is needed to turn lemons into lemonade.

I like that thought – I don’t have baggage, I have honed life skills. Instead of baggage, I have a tool belt that has my honed life skills, ready to be used for any future life storm. My life skills are an asset instead of a liability, because I learned valuable lessons that enable me to make better choices, not bitter ones.

Isn’t life interesting?

As a side note, she probably didn’t understand what a inspiration she was on that campus everyday as she went to class. She probably thought she was an embarrassment. Our internal fears turn everything into a negative, when for the most part people are celebrating us! Think about your own life and where have you done this to yourself?

Our happiness in many ways ties directly to our “inner voice” that forever asks the question…”Are you moving toward your dream?” If your answer is “yes,” then hope breeds contentment. However, if the answer is “no, because (insert fear excuse here)…..,” then this is probably the reason that your life lacks joy, or has depression. Because subconsciously we are breeding despair, with the false thinking that it is too late, too hard, not worth trying to live our dreams.

So sign up for one class at the local community college; take dancing or yoga lessons; rent an instrument and begin lessons; open a savings account and start putting in all your space change for your trip to Europe. Pick up the phone and reconnect with an old friend or relative that you lost touch with. If you always wanted to write a book, start by typing your thoughts on facebook (lol). Just take one small step and do something that you have always thought of doing. Then take a bigger step, and a bigger one and pretty soon your like my granddaughter Claire and running all over creation with a happy smile on your face!

As my friend Mark Hoover says “Be Brilliant!”

I have learned a great deal about myself; where my passion really lies; and made some great connections that are helping me fill in the blanks. This is the Monday after Mark Hoover’s “Ignite Your Business” seminar, and the day that the rubber has to meet the road. 18 people or so, will either still be getting ready to live (or implement what they learned to live a better life – fulfill the dreams they put on the vision board) or they won’t.

The sad thing is that most of us pay someone for advice (attend a seminar or take a class at a college, work with a coach or therapist, etc…) and then we don’t follow it. It makes us feel like we are trying, but unless action is followed behind learning, wisdom never happens.

“Living” to me means that we just do something, and it works or it doesn’t. But if we don’t try, we never make any progress. If we don’t try we aren’t living, we are existing – and there is a big difference between the two. If we aren’t living, then we are existing in a place that is full of regrets and sad memories. The place where all the clutter of half started and never finished projects exist. This is the place where I should have; if only I had; why didn’t I ever; and all of the places where we bailed on life and people – it all lives here. This is the unfinished life that is regretted at death.

So don’t just make a promise to yourself that on Monday I will – make and execute a plan that puts at least one thing into motion to actually live life and experience your vision – live the life you were born to live.

Now, being “mostly” mature, I find that I am coming from a place of wanting to leave a legacy. To feel that the world is a better place, because I was here. The desire comes from a place of wanting to help others have a better life. Having experienced a childhood of chaos I worked hard to give my own children a more secure life, I want to pass on what I have learned in my life. I want to help others see that if you take the time to learn about yourself (what makes you tick) that you can take all of the experiences of your past and make them into something wonderful.

I have a quilt in my bedroom that I made from old clothing and pieces of material that my mom had when she passed away. On the quilt I embroidered, sewed on lace, beads, buttons, and ribbons, and decorated it to remind me of the beauty that was my mom.

Everything I have made of my life is like that quilt. You take what you start with – and you make it beautiful by “dressing” it up, adding sparkle and color. You take who you really are inside and you make adjustments. Some parts of your personality may need some finishing touches, and some parts may need to be altered or cut away. The only way to know is to look at the design that the quilt is calling for and see where the material fits the design.

I would still have a sack of old clothes with scraps of material, if I hadn’t put into action the desire to make a memory quilt in honor of my mom. If I hadn’t decided to have a less chaotic life than I was raised with, I would have replicated that same life for myself and my children.

Now my desire is to leave a legacy behind that shows you that anyone can make a better life for themselves. It doesn’t take special talent or powers, it just takes action.

Guy Finley also writes that we must learn to stop thinking in terms of beginnings and ending, successes and failure,s and instead treat everything in our lives as a learning experience. That nothing in our life is a proving experience. By approaching our life this way we are able to focus on what stubborn clinging self defeating ideas and beliefs we still have. This is how I push myself to write from my heart, the belief that I am not proving myself, but rather learning about myself.

There is a video on YouTube called validation – it is a great video if you haven’t seen it. A man is at a parking garage and works at a podium where he is supposed to validate parking tickets and instead he validates the people. The world would be a great place if we all could let go of the fears that hold us back and instead shine out all of the beauty that we are deep inside. Watch the video today and smile!

It also goes along with how money, fame, or any other thing that we all think we want and need, doesn’t totally change us. It usually just accentuates who we already are. So if you look at someone that you knew in school that is now the rich guy on Wall Street, or the famous actress in Hollywood, and think that they were changed by the fame and fortune, they may have been to some extent. However, it is more likely true that they were always that way, it was just a smaller piece of themselves that they expanded as they achieved their dreams. And if the change that fame and fortune revealed was negative, then it is likely they achieved their greatness too fast.

We have this unbelievable power to fix what’s broken, heal what hurts; and to lift the veil of self imposed blindness for ourselves. It is amazing as you are looking for ways to make your dream for life come true, what the universe reveals to you if you only keep an open mind. It is critical that we continue to look at ourselves honestly, and admit when we are not behaving ourselves (hint – remove the blinders). We need to look at what we need to change or improve to be capable of bringing our dreams into reality.

We all have this ability for greatness, but if it was given to us immediately it would overpower us, because most of us are not yet ready for all of it. Think of those in Hollywood or the music industry who were literally an overnight success, that ended up dead from a drug overdose, car accident or suicide.

So instead allow the universe to bring into our lives the things that we will need to grow and expand into the greatness that we are. Like a snake we need to keep shedding the old skins (old ways of living) for the new larger skins. Then when we have expanded just enough, the universe will flood in the final new expansion as our dream comes into reality. Because really, we are already the person we have dreamed of becoming, we just don’t see it yet.

What is currently going on in our lives is the direct result of decisions that we made, or avoided making. We are responsible for “what is”. But the most important thing to understand, is that every single moment, we can make a new decision to change what is, into something new. Isn’t it amazing that you get to decide who you are? If you don’t chase after your dreams, how will you ever know what life has the possibility to be?

When we live our life from the standpoint of guilt or regret, we have made ourselves prisoners of the past. I remember a quote (unknown source) that shows how ironic it is to make ourselves suffer the pains of regret. It said, “never regret anything because at one time is was exactly what you wanted.” Every second we spend in the past is a second that we can’t get back. It is a moment of passionate – abundant – radiant – joy that we miss out on living with today in this moment.

So avoid regrets by taking chances. Don’t be afraid to screw it up royally (why make a small mistake when you can make a catastrophe?). Don’t settle. Be an original, because the world doesn’t need another copy of someone else. Let your spirit soar. And most important of all make someone laugh! (it’s why I married my husband, no matter what is happening in life, he can make me laugh).

On Monday, Sarah took him back as it was much worse, and since the doctor still didn’t know what was happening, she referred Sarah to a specialist. The specialist saw him on Tuesday, examined him and referred her to a doctor at Children’s Hospital as he felt something was wrong with his hip. The doctor at Children’s Hospital didn’t have a free appointment until the following week. On Thursday they called and said they had a cancellation and Sarah took him in. They took him straight into surgery. He had a staph infection from the broken collar bone and he spent almost two months at the hospital being treated. They told us he would have died over the weekend as the staph infection had traveled throughout his body.

So as you can imagine, the “let’s wait and see what happens” attitude is not a favorite thing for me. What it means is that you think you don’t know what to do, and so you abdicate your responsibility and allow for what happens to happen. This is also what procrastination is all about. Deep down inside you really do know what the correct decision is, there is just something about that decision that scares you.

Fear will spin it’s illusions to keep you from making a decision, because fear hates change. You may feel that if you make the decision that you know needs to be made, that someone won’t love you; that they will leave you; that you’ll be alone in the world. That they will blame you for their problems if you don’t rescue them, and yet you know deep down inside that you can’t really rescue them, and that you are just supporting their bad behavior.

The best thing that we can do for both ourselves and those we love, is to make sure that the right things happen. That we determine that we will make the “right” decisions and co-create the world that we live in, instead of just existing in the world made up of other peoples decisions. Be bold. Go into unexplored territory and find out who you really are. You’ll amaze yourself and we will all tell you, “we always knew just how amazing that you are and we alway knew you could do it!”