Facebook Story
Great post on FB – really highlights it is all about the attitude that you bring – not what is actually happening. We make the story about what is happening “to us.”
Quoted directly from her FB post:
Sarah Owen Bigler Indianapolis, Indiana · January 13 at 5:21am ·
Yesterday Matt was sick. I picked up Archie from the sitter and Eloise from school and decided to run to Target for a few things. I had hoped to be in and out quickly.
I found a line with just one person ahead of me and began organizing my items on the conveyor. After placing my items, I look up to see that the person ahead of me was an elderly woman. She was paying for her items with change and wanted to purchase each separately. Part of me, the part that had a long day at work, the part of me who had a 1 1/2 year old having a melt down in the cart, the part that had set an unnecessary timeline for Target and getting home, was frustrated with this woman and the inconvenience she had placed on me.
BUT then I watched the young employee with this woman. I watched him help her count her change, ever so tenderly taking it from her shaking hands. I listened to him repeatedly saying “yes, mam” to her. When she asked if she had enough to buy a reusable bag, he told her she did and went two lines over to get one for her and then repackaged her items. Never once did this employee huff, gruff or roll his eyes. He was nothing but patient and kind.
As I was watching him, I saw that Eloise was too. She was standing next to the woman, watching the employee count the change. I realized I hadn’t been inconvenienced at all. That my daughter was instead witnessing kindness and patience and being taught this valuable lesson by a complete stranger; furthermore, I realized that I too needed a refresher on this lesson.
When the woman was finished, the employee began ringing up my items and thanked me for my patience. I then thanked him for teaching us patience and kindness by his treatment of that elderly woman. And although my timeline for target was askew, when he was finished I pushed my cart through the store trying to find the manager. I wanted her to know of the employee’s, kindness and patience, and how much it meant to me. After tracking her down and sharing the story with her, we left Target with a cart full of consumable items, but what is more a heart full of gratitude for such an invaluable lesson.
If you are ever in the Glendale Target, give Ishmael a smile and a nod. The world could use more people like him.”
Amen!
Being Wise
Being wise beyond our fears, means recognizing that the true directions of the heart, require no words. There is simply a knowing inside. It just feels better, when we go in the direction of the heart. When you make the decision based on the hearts guidance, you feel the weight of the decision slide off your shoulders. There is no second guessing. When you say the words that only your soul has dared to whisper to the heart, that is when miracles happen. The declaration, both verbal and written gives notice to the divine that you are listening. Listen to your dreams. When your world is too filled with noise, that may be the only way that you souls whisper can be heard by the heart. John St. Augustine said, “Let your heart be your guide on all things, but you have to listen closely because it speaks so softly.” Each whisper of the soul to your heart speaks of the next leg of your journey. There are times on your journey when experience and reason tell you not to follow that path. Your mind sees the risks and wants to play it safe. But you have to give it a try. When you don’t listen to the whispers of the soul to your heart, sooner or later, that whisper turns into a scream. When the whisper has turned to screaming in desperation, it is usually a sign that your life is about to shift into some sort of test. This comes about because instead of listening to your own heart, you are playing it safe. It is so easy to become focused on others instead of ourselves. We get pushed and pulled in all directions by our work, our friends and our families. When those that we are surrounded by see us listening to our heart, they get scared. Changes that you make in your life, will impact theirs. They are afraid of many things, but primarily that you may out grown them. That you will leave them behind. Don’t let their fears break your soul. They may try to expose what is wrong with you, in an attempt to stop you from listening to the heart. God has put into our hearts intuition to guide us to what we need. Follow that guidance. When you do, you will know it because your heart will be at peace. Even the most painful and difficult decisions are correct, if the heart is at peace with it. Be wise beyond your fears and keep heading towards your glorious destiny.
What Lies Ahead on the Path of Life is Never Completely Clear
“As with a heavy fog on a road, what lies ahead on the path of life is never completely clear, but the choices we make can help shape out the shadows” Bryson Staley Years ago when I was a little girl we lived in Long Beach, CA. My mother worked at a nightclub as a bartender. One night (about 2:00 AM) when she got off work, the fog was really bad. The police were on the radio asking people to stay home, and not drive in the fog. My mother thought she could make it home. When she started driving it was worse than she thought, and she couldn’t even tell where the road was. She saw taillights in front of her and thought that if she just followed them she would stay on the road, and she could make it home. After driving for a while and making some turns, the car in front of her stopped. The man driving got out of his car, and walked back to my mom’s car and knocked on the drivers side window. “lady” he said, “you are in my garage.” Needless to say, he helped her park her car and called a taxi for her. It is a funny story, but there is a life lesson for us in this story. We are all trying to find our way home. Home is where our purpose is, deep inside of us. It can feel like we are peering through deep, dense, fog and can see nothing that looks like our purpose. So we tell ourselves that we don’t know how to find our way home. We think that what we need, is to find an expert to show us the way home. The problem that can arise when we are trying to find home, is that we abdicate the process to someone else. We follow them to their home. It could be a spiritual leader or guru. It could be our parents, spouse or someone else that we really look up to. But even with the best intentions on their part, their home is not our home. It is like the singer or writer, who starts out copying someone else that they look up to and admire. We may become proficient but there is something in the sound of our own voice, in that our soul sings through us. When we are copying someone else, the image isn’t clear, it becomes pixelated, a poor copy. When we find our own voice, it makes all the difference. That is when the star is born. When we wander in the fog lost, it is not necessarily a bad thing. We can learn a lot about ourselves as we wander. We will have adventures, learn new things, make new friends. We will also have some losses and misadventures. But at the end of the journey, if we persevere, we will find our way home. Things like maps, road signs, a GPS can be helpful.. But we must take the time to learn to read and use them correctly. We need to make sure that we are taking the time to listen to our heart. It sends out signals. It gives us directions. We can ask for help, but we don’t want to follow others to their home. I think that what has helped me the most in my own personal journey the last few years, is that I have attended a lot of workshops/seminars. I have hired coaches to help me learn what I couldn’t figure out by myself. What a good coach does, is hold up the mirror to face me, and ask me really good questions to help me see what I am blind to. They give me food for thought, so I can determine for myself if this or that answer makes more sense. They are like fog lights on the car. Have you ever used them? Driving headlights reflect off the fog and create glare, so that you can’t see. Fog lights have a unique beam shape and they cut through the fog so that you can see. There are times in our lives when we operate from driving headlights and just create a glare that we can’t see past. We need a coach or someone in our lives that are like the fog lights, they can see what we can’t and help us to see it for ourselves. “Beyond the fog lies clarity” – Anonymous
If you want to soar in life, you must first love yourself
If you want to soar in life, you must first love yourself.
“You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you” – Dodinsky
So many of you have put the cart before the horse when it comes to love. You spend all of your time “earning” the love of others by being who they want you to be. By doing everything in your power to make their life perfect. You put others ahead of yourself and at the end of the day, nothing turns out the way you wanted it to. You are left feeling like a failure, just “not good enough”.
There is a show on PBS called “Home Fires”. It takes place in England during WWII. It’s about a women’s group that contributes to the village and the war effort. In the first season there is one woman whose husband abuses her. Like all abusers he makes every time he loses his temper to be her fault. The real issue at hand for the story line is that he is a newspaper writer who can’t get enough work, so of course he takes it out on someone he is supposed to love.
A few of her best friends figure out what is happening, but at the point in history there really isn’t anything they can do about it. She is too ashamed to admit what is happening. The times that she struggles to fight back, he leaves her self-worth in even more tatters. At the end of the first season, one of her friends was successful in getting him a war correspondent job without him being aware of her having a hand in it.
He leaves the village to go to the front, and now his wife has the opportunity to start loving herself and building up her self-esteem. The hope being that she doesn’t fall back into the same situation when he returns. One of the underlying contributors of why women stay in abusive situations is that they don’t love themselves enough to gather up what remains of their self-worth and self-trust, to leave and not look back.
“Love yourself enough to take the actions required for your happiness. Love yourself enough to cut yourself loose from the ties of the drama filled past. Love yourself enough to move on” – Dr. Steve Maraboli
You may not be in such an extreme situation with your self-love, but you only have to listen to the comments you make to yourself, to know that it is something you can still do more work on.
When you live your life in such a way that reflects, you’re coming in last, you buy into a lie. A lie that loving yourself first will take away from loving others. A lie that says the only way to be worthy of self-love, is to prove that others love you first. How could you attract the love of others, if you don’t even love yourself?
Trying to in essence purchase the love of others by the self sacrifice of yourself, is like trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. You can push it, twist it, and pound the peg until it shatters, but it will never fit. It won’t fill that yearning from your soul, that begs you to put “love us” first.
5 Things to Quit – right now.
- Trying to please everyone
- Fearing Change
- Living in the past
- Putting yourself down
- Overthinking
You have the power to choose where you are going. You have the power to stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you most. You have the power to stop hating your body, your personality, and the pieces of you that don’t fit in the square hole.
You can start with loving yourself, saying “I love my thighs just as they are”, “I love my imperfect smile”, “I love that I snort when I laugh”, “I love me”. You can get the truth of the situation into your bones – nobody will ever love you more than you love yourself.
It is critically important to your health and happiness – both physical and mental – that you treat yourself right.
What if for the rest of this year you devoted yourself to loving you more? Your choices will change your life.
Make peace with your mirror and watch your reflection change. The loss of judgment in your eyes. The removing of the wrinkles of anxiety across the forehead, that you aren’t good enough. The curve of the smile of self-confidence, that says you are amazing, and you are rocking that outfit. The glow of inner peace and love that fills your space with light. And – LOL – Best hair day EVER!
Stand Tall
Life can be frigid cold and it tries to freeze you out. Refuse to succumb. Stand tall in your frozen glory, for in due time Spring will be here. Crisis is like the coldest winter day. The biting truth covers you in ice and threatens to freeze everything. Hold on, like the seasons shift and wane, so too does crisis.
A Night to Shine
Calling it “A night to shine” Tim Tebow and his foundation are organizing hundreds of proms throughout the world for people with disabilities. Last year his foundation helped plan 44 proms in 26 states and this year they are going all out to beat that record.
According to People magazine, the SEC Network analyst and former NFL quarterback has already confirmed 200-plus proms in 48 states and eight different countries for people with special needs in 2016.
“Every time I think about it, I’m so humbled and amazed by the way God has continued to grow ‘Night to Shine,'” Tebow told People. “I can’t wait for February 12th; it’s my favorite night of the year.”
This is the kind of news that we should be celebrating. We should be rewarding those who use their fame and fortune to make the world a better place, instead of giving news coverage to those that take advantage of it with bad behavior.
See More: Tim Tebow Organizing Over 200 Proms For People With Special Needs
Helping Hand
It is 45 degrees outside and only going to get colder on a NYC winter night. You walk by a homeless man who is shivering with the cold. What crosses your mind?
Resto noticed something was wrong. Typically he gives food or money to help. While other people were just staring at the man, he went a step further. This young man literally gave him the shirt off his back and the hat off his head. Wow!
He thought that the homeless man may have been in a fight earlier. He invited him to go with them to his house for a hot meal, but the older man fell asleep and they didn’t want to disturb him.
A stranger video taped the whole thing and posted it online. Resto states he would love to thank him with a cup of coffee.
see the video: Good samaritan
See more: Shirt off his back
Our dreams are calling us
How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable. – Seth Godin – Author and Speaker Our dreams are calling us. Are we answering them or putting them to voice mail, because we don’t want to have that inner conversation with ourselves. What causes us to put things on hold? How many of your dreams do you have in voice mail waiting for a return call? We all do this in some way. I know that if someone compliments me the first thought in my mind is discounting what they said. When I was growing up my sister closest in age to me was always the pretty one, the beautiful one. She is 18 months younger and her body matured faster than mine. She is several inches taller than my 5’3″. I was the smart one. This comparison ran through our childhood. She to this day carries that role of not being smart, even thought it isn’t true, and I carry the role of not being pretty. This past few weeks my personal FB page has really been growing. I think that FB has been showing my photo for my personal page up in “the people you know timeline”. My guess is that it is a combination of how many of you wonderful people are “Liking” our LemonadeMaker posts and page (Thank You!!!) and, as I am part of several large groups I end up having a lot of similar friends. I also think that some people figured out I am the founder of LemonadaMakers and request my personal fb friend page too. However it is happening, there has also been some of those requests that even though I try to screen them turn out to be men looking at my picture and requesting a friendship. When they say they like my smile – which is the usual first comment they make, I immediately think something negative like that’s because you don’t see the rest of me. Why do we do that? What is it that causes us to turn away from a compliment about our looks, the quality of our work – anything that seems personal? People could compliment me about my children or grandchildren and I don’t turn away from that. Only if it is personal about me. There was a commercial video I saw a few months back talking about the phrase “sorry” when we mean “excuse me”. We are apologizing when we didn’t do anything wrong It was by Pantene the shampoo company and it really reflected how many times we use it when we really mean something else. We open a office door to talk to someone and say “sorry”. We brush by someone and say “sorry”. The list goes on. Look for it in the next few weeks, how many times you or another women says “sorry” when what should be said is “excuse me”. The suggestion is that we feel undeserving, and so say “I’m Sorry” for taking up your time, for taking up space, for thinking that I might have something to contribute. Sheryl Sandberg was really talking about this when she said “we’ve got to get women to sit at the table.” She talked about how she went to a conference room for a meeting and the women were not sitting at the conference table, they were sitting around the table in the extra chairs against the wall. They were doing this even though there were empty seats at the conference table. She felt that a big piece of why we don’t take a seat at the table is because we don’t want the label of “bossy” and the other “B” word when we take the lead. We shouldn’t be afraid to be as ambitious as men. We should ask for what we want – the raise, the promotion, to take the lead. We shouldn’t be afraid to be told we have a beautiful smile. So I am ending this with my most favorite quote by Marianne Williamson because – How dare any of us settle for less when the world is waiting for us to be remarkable! “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
A real miracle
A real miracle. My youngest son was in an accident that he survived by a miracle. It took the fire department hours to get him out of the vehicle and he had traumatic injuries. He too was driving too fast. The police, Fire Department and Paramedics all came to visit him and told him none of them thought he would make it and to make sure his second chance at life was well spent. He is in Nursing School to give back.
Here is her FB post about the accident and the miracle she witnessed. I cut a little out since it was so long. You can go to the link at the bottom to see all of it.
“Three seconds. That’s how long we had from the moment we drifted off the road until the truck hit the pilar at 85mph. In three seconds Hunter had to handle a situation that would either kill us immediately or save our lives…, And when we were both lying in our beds in the ER he found a way to come protect my heart and give me a hug.
I’m overwhelmed at how little damage was done to Hunter and I in a wreck that should have chopped our bodies in half. I’m in awe of the presence of God in this entire situation. Every part of this experience we went through points directly to Him. The way God helped Hunter to respond exactly the way he did behind the wheel, spinning the truck exactly where it should have to be able to smash into the pillar directly in the middle of me and Hunter so we were both untouched…, that doesn’t just happen. God doesn’t throw protection around like that for no reason. He does it because he’s not finished with us.
…, Looking to the drivers seat all I saw was his head through the windshield, a face full of blood, and a body that wasn’t moving. I looked straight out the truck and there was a man..bright with a big white beard. No other cars in sight…just this man. He was my guardian angel. He saw me and immediately told me that an ambulance was coming…, I don’t know if it was a hallucination or me unconsciously dreaming or a glimpse of heaven…but all I knew in that moment was that Hunter was safe with me…, I asked this man when the ambulance was coming. He told me in just a second. He walked away, I blinked and a flashlight was in my face. The paramedics were there helping me and Hunter.
Here is the miracle part: no broken bones, concussions that lasted not even 24 hours, no internal damage, and just a few stitches in my knee and hunters face…, All of our belongings in perfect condition,… and the only thing left behind at the crash scene is Hunters bible open, with a page marked with scripture telling us to not be afraid; Jesus is with us.
I am amazed. Absolutely taken away by the presence of God. So blessed for him sending me an angel…, So thankful for all the thoughts and prayers that were sent our way. The power of prayer is real, and it healed me and Hunter.
But tonight I’m praying for all of you…, I want everyone to to know the love and the power of God. He has a purpose…and it’s so clear that NOTHING…not even a car accident like this one will cause his plans for you to change…, And the plans he has for YOU and your life aren’t going anywhere…, Embrace the struggles and the joys of this life! Without a doubt it’s a miracle we’re alive, but more than that it’s simply Gods plan for us. We’re so grateful for this wreck and all it will do in our lives. We are blessed to be okay. And so in love with the amazing God we serve.”
Leave behind the fear
Women who run with wolves have discovered something about themselves that allows them to leave behind the fear that is expressed because of going outside the comfort zone. This fear is Finding-Excuses-And-Reasons. Why do we experience this type of fear? It comes from a lack of self love, self trust and self care. For women who run with wolves, we have discovered S.E.L.F. which stands for Sacred-Empowered-Liberated-Fearless. She sees herself as a Sacred being She sees herself as an Empowered being She sees herself as a Liberated being She sees herself as a Fearless being. She runs with a vast community of souls, who hold and support her. She knows as a sacred being she is never, ever, truly alone. She is honored as a wisdom keeper, an empowered being that has grounded herself into the earth. Her roots run deep into the earth and support the work she does in the world. She knows that she is a liberated woman who came to this earth to free those who have become shackled to the stories of not being good enough, pretty enough, or worthwhile. Her purpose is to remind others of their own sacred agreements they came here to fulfill. Of the love we have for each other. To free them from their self made chains and fulfill their own purpose in being here. She is fearless because for her, the word fear is a word of high integrity because for her it means Face-Everything-And-Rejoice. She knows that she can be grateful for each fear that is faced down and transformed into something wonderful. She is rejoicing because she is working with others out in the world to build a bridge to shift our world from the challenges we see happening today, into a place of unity, love and trust. If you can change your definition of the word fear, you can change your world. To fearless women, I am honored to be your sister. Below is a copy of my poem which expresses these thoughts. The wolf howls at the moon, not out of loneliness, As he knows he is one with the universe. He howls out of gratitude to be a member of the pack. He remembers those he has traveled with in past lives, He sees those he is traveling with again. He rejoices in his vast community of souls, knowing that he is truly never alone. The great spirit has honored the wolf with a voice that sings out in the darkness. He honors the great spirit by singing to us, “Do not be afraid, for you are not alone” “I am here, and I remember you even if you have forgotten”. Like the wolf I sing out to you, through my words on a page I say, “I remember you, for we have traveled together before.” I honor you that you have come again to do the great work before us. Call out together with me as we gather our relatives that have forgotten their purpose. Call to their minds our scared agreement to meet at this time and place. Whisper to them of the great love we have for each other and their hearts will remember. Gather around as we build the bridge of knowledge and understanding. This bridge will unite all peoples together in love This bridge is shifting our world into a new age of unity, love and trust. We are one, One love, I love us One trust, I trust us, I honor our sacred agreements, I am here.
What Does The Term, “The sky’s the limit” Mean To You?
What does the term, “the sky’s the limit” mean to you? For me, it is where the comfort zone meets “what else is possible?”
What is stopping you is the unwillingness to live beyond this reality.
– Unknown
It is an extension of “what is possible”, that is beyond what “normal” is for me. It is where all of the magic is, approaching life from that attitude. All our of limitations are self installed. We choose them either by accepting them from someone else, or our own inner critic forming them after a failure. The sky is not the limitation, we are. We see these limitations in our professional life, our personal life and our spiritual life. Some of these limitations come from our culture, through the “roles” we play with our friends and family.
Being on a spiritual path does not prevent you from facing times of darkness. But it teaches you how to use the darkness as a tool to grow.
– Unknown
When we go on a hero’s journey, the walls that we have built around us, to limit us, get torn down. When you take any really great story, you find within it what Joseph Campbell called the Hero’s Journey. My two favorite stories are “Star Wars” (the first three with Luke) and “Lord of The Rings”.
The main character (Luke or Frodo) is going through a “normal” or boring life. Nothing much is happening. Then there is a call to adventure (Luke has R2D2 show up and Frodo has Gandalf), something new is introduced into the characters life. This alters the hero’s destiny. At first the hero refuses the call to adventure – this isn’t for me. I can’t get involved. This can sometimes be because the hero knows that the role that you play within your family, or tribe will be forever changed once you cross the threshold.
Our worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace.
– Jerry Bridges
Then the hero encounters the mentor – someone who gives advice and gets him ready. It could be someone supernatural, mystical or angelic. The hero crosses the threshold – leaves home and enters into the adventure. There are tests, allies and enemies are encountered in the journey which teach the hero a lot about him or herself. Plan A and possibly Plans B and C fail, as the hero experiences setbacks and has to rethink how to proceed.
Because you are alive, everything is possible.
– Nhat Hanh
The hero has faith which leads them to access higher levels of knowledge and abilities to meet the tests with. The hero sees their limitations and ultimately has to defy and defeat them in order to pull through. The setbacks all lead to the ultimate crisis of life or death, where the hero struggles to complete their destiny (Luke battling the evil emperor and Frodo himself and the ring). Now the hero gets the reward – they have won out over the enemies. Many times the loses are mourned even as the victory is celebrated. The hero begins the journey back home, forever changed by the journey. The old limitations of what the hero thought they were capable of have changed. They have been forever transformed.
The reason people awaken, is because they have finally stopped agreeing to things that insult their soul.
– Unknown
I believe that we all take numerous hero’s journeys. We take them in our personal lives, our professional lives and our spiritual lives. We take small journeys and we take “dark night of the soul” journeys. Each time we need to transform our lives, we take a hero’s journey. We reinvent ourselves, we improvise, adapt and overcome our self made limitations. We get creative, we become flexible and adjust as we experience paradigm shifts.
There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.
– Bruce Lee
So don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Use your imagination and creativity, to discover that the possibilities of your world are limitless.
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