I have learned a great deal about myself; where my passion really lies; and made some great connections that are helping me fill in the blanks. This is the Monday after Mark Hoover’s “Ignite Your Business” seminar, and the day that the rubber has to meet the road. 18 people or so, will either still be getting ready to live (or implement what they learned to live a better life – fulfill the dreams they put on the vision board) or they won’t.

The sad thing is that most of us pay someone for advice (attend a seminar or take a class at a college, work with a coach or therapist, etc…) and then we don’t follow it. It makes us feel like we are trying, but unless action is followed behind learning, wisdom never happens.

“Living” to me means that we just do something, and it works or it doesn’t. But if we don’t try, we never make any progress. If we don’t try we aren’t living, we are existing – and there is a big difference between the two. If we aren’t living, then we are existing in a place that is full of regrets and sad memories. The place where all the clutter of half started and never finished projects exist. This is the place where I should have; if only I had; why didn’t I ever; and all of the places where we bailed on life and people – it all lives here. This is the unfinished life that is regretted at death.

So don’t just make a promise to yourself that on Monday I will – make and execute a plan that puts at least one thing into motion to actually live life and experience your vision – live the life you were born to live.

Now, being “mostly” mature, I find that I am coming from a place of wanting to leave a legacy. To feel that the world is a better place, because I was here. The desire comes from a place of wanting to help others have a better life. Having experienced a childhood of chaos I worked hard to give my own children a more secure life, I want to pass on what I have learned in my life. I want to help others see that if you take the time to learn about yourself (what makes you tick) that you can take all of the experiences of your past and make them into something wonderful.

I have a quilt in my bedroom that I made from old clothing and pieces of material that my mom had when she passed away. On the quilt I embroidered, sewed on lace, beads, buttons, and ribbons, and decorated it to remind me of the beauty that was my mom.

Everything I have made of my life is like that quilt. You take what you start with – and you make it beautiful by “dressing” it up, adding sparkle and color. You take who you really are inside and you make adjustments. Some parts of your personality may need some finishing touches, and some parts may need to be altered or cut away. The only way to know is to look at the design that the quilt is calling for and see where the material fits the design.

I would still have a sack of old clothes with scraps of material, if I hadn’t put into action the desire to make a memory quilt in honor of my mom. If I hadn’t decided to have a less chaotic life than I was raised with, I would have replicated that same life for myself and my children.

Now my desire is to leave a legacy behind that shows you that anyone can make a better life for themselves. It doesn’t take special talent or powers, it just takes action.

Guy Finley also writes that we must learn to stop thinking in terms of beginnings and ending, successes and failure,s and instead treat everything in our lives as a learning experience. That nothing in our life is a proving experience. By approaching our life this way we are able to focus on what stubborn clinging self defeating ideas and beliefs we still have. This is how I push myself to write from my heart, the belief that I am not proving myself, but rather learning about myself.

There is a video on YouTube called validation – it is a great video if you haven’t seen it. A man is at a parking garage and works at a podium where he is supposed to validate parking tickets and instead he validates the people. The world would be a great place if we all could let go of the fears that hold us back and instead shine out all of the beauty that we are deep inside. Watch the video today and smile!

It also goes along with how money, fame, or any other thing that we all think we want and need, doesn’t totally change us. It usually just accentuates who we already are. So if you look at someone that you knew in school that is now the rich guy on Wall Street, or the famous actress in Hollywood, and think that they were changed by the fame and fortune, they may have been to some extent. However, it is more likely true that they were always that way, it was just a smaller piece of themselves that they expanded as they achieved their dreams. And if the change that fame and fortune revealed was negative, then it is likely they achieved their greatness too fast.

We have this unbelievable power to fix what’s broken, heal what hurts; and to lift the veil of self imposed blindness for ourselves. It is amazing as you are looking for ways to make your dream for life come true, what the universe reveals to you if you only keep an open mind. It is critical that we continue to look at ourselves honestly, and admit when we are not behaving ourselves (hint – remove the blinders). We need to look at what we need to change or improve to be capable of bringing our dreams into reality.

We all have this ability for greatness, but if it was given to us immediately it would overpower us, because most of us are not yet ready for all of it. Think of those in Hollywood or the music industry who were literally an overnight success, that ended up dead from a drug overdose, car accident or suicide.

So instead allow the universe to bring into our lives the things that we will need to grow and expand into the greatness that we are. Like a snake we need to keep shedding the old skins (old ways of living) for the new larger skins. Then when we have expanded just enough, the universe will flood in the final new expansion as our dream comes into reality. Because really, we are already the person we have dreamed of becoming, we just don’t see it yet.

What is currently going on in our lives is the direct result of decisions that we made, or avoided making. We are responsible for “what is”. But the most important thing to understand, is that every single moment, we can make a new decision to change what is, into something new. Isn’t it amazing that you get to decide who you are? If you don’t chase after your dreams, how will you ever know what life has the possibility to be?

When we live our life from the standpoint of guilt or regret, we have made ourselves prisoners of the past. I remember a quote (unknown source) that shows how ironic it is to make ourselves suffer the pains of regret. It said, “never regret anything because at one time is was exactly what you wanted.” Every second we spend in the past is a second that we can’t get back. It is a moment of passionate – abundant – radiant – joy that we miss out on living with today in this moment.

So avoid regrets by taking chances. Don’t be afraid to screw it up royally (why make a small mistake when you can make a catastrophe?). Don’t settle. Be an original, because the world doesn’t need another copy of someone else. Let your spirit soar. And most important of all make someone laugh! (it’s why I married my husband, no matter what is happening in life, he can make me laugh).

On Monday, Sarah took him back as it was much worse, and since the doctor still didn’t know what was happening, she referred Sarah to a specialist. The specialist saw him on Tuesday, examined him and referred her to a doctor at Children’s Hospital as he felt something was wrong with his hip. The doctor at Children’s Hospital didn’t have a free appointment until the following week. On Thursday they called and said they had a cancellation and Sarah took him in. They took him straight into surgery. He had a staph infection from the broken collar bone and he spent almost two months at the hospital being treated. They told us he would have died over the weekend as the staph infection had traveled throughout his body.

So as you can imagine, the “let’s wait and see what happens” attitude is not a favorite thing for me. What it means is that you think you don’t know what to do, and so you abdicate your responsibility and allow for what happens to happen. This is also what procrastination is all about. Deep down inside you really do know what the correct decision is, there is just something about that decision that scares you.

Fear will spin it’s illusions to keep you from making a decision, because fear hates change. You may feel that if you make the decision that you know needs to be made, that someone won’t love you; that they will leave you; that you’ll be alone in the world. That they will blame you for their problems if you don’t rescue them, and yet you know deep down inside that you can’t really rescue them, and that you are just supporting their bad behavior.

The best thing that we can do for both ourselves and those we love, is to make sure that the right things happen. That we determine that we will make the “right” decisions and co-create the world that we live in, instead of just existing in the world made up of other peoples decisions. Be bold. Go into unexplored territory and find out who you really are. You’ll amaze yourself and we will all tell you, “we always knew just how amazing that you are and we alway knew you could do it!”

Every single one of these thoughts take you out of your personal drama and stretch that box that you currently live inside. Every single one of these thoughts make you a better person if you complete the thought with action.

Just think of how your life, your family’s life and the community that you live within would change if each of us just for a month followed through on these thoughts. You would change yourself and your world in unbelievable ways. That would be a true makeover!

But if we can take a hold of courage and walk through the illusion of fire, on the other side of the “fire” is flow, fresh energy and the knowledge that you need to succeed. Want to go on a “firewalk” with me?

We focus on fame and fortune, and not on what makes us happy. The old saying that money can’t buy happiness is true. What makes it true is that we are looking for happiness on the wrong path. We are looking for it on that path that is in the above paragraph.

Instead, if we get really quiet and still, and look inside ourselves, we will see ideas that form about things that we could do that would make us happy. In the past we have pushed aside those ideas because they didn’t fit inside the formula that we have had drummed into us all of our lives. Instead of pushing those ideas aside, start exploring this new path. Look for ways outside of the box to monetize the ideas to the point that they can provide us with a living.

As you walk down this path, you begin living the life that you were meant to live. As you explore this path, you will meet people that will expand on your ideas and want to work with you. As you go around the bends, new vistas will open up before you. You will see new directions to take that will expand your business ideas. Your ideas begin having ideas as your passion catches fire. Before you know it, bliss will have seeped into every area of your life without your even noticing.

Whenever you find life getting hard again, you will know that you have stepped off the right path for you. Don’t worry, you aren’t lost. You just need to use your internal compass and get back on your true path.

Friends and family may not understand at first what you are doing, or why. But if you hold true to yourself and keep on your own path, they will understand when they see that you can be both happy and successful in all of the ways that really matter. Just hold true to your “true north” and keep your compass handy to reorient your direction when needed. Then you will really be living the life that you ought to be living!

Then one day we wake up to the fact that in giving away our life, we gave away ourselves, our soul. The devil didn’t buy it with a contract to give us our biggest dream, we simply lived our life for the happiness of everyone but ourselves.

Once we wake up, we have two choices. We can continue down the road of giving our life away, or we can choose to reconnect to who we really are. Reconnect with why we came here, and choose to begin living that life. The life that releases our souls desires and works to bring them into reality. Everyone will say that you have changed, but the truth is that you just woke up to who you are.

The great thing is that once we allow ourselves to be who we really are, the little rubs that we had with everyone in our life melt away. The irritation wasn’t because the others had habits or attitudes that rubbed us the wrong way. The rub was there because we didn’t really fit in the skin that we were living in. Once the shock of the changes you make settles down, you will find that everything in your life fits better because you finally fit better!

I remember that when I was in Jr High, we moved to Santa Cruz. At school I met some girls and became friends. One night they had a slumber party and they played a game as people fell asleep in which they would say really mean things about that person. Not wanting to be left out and not have any friends, I played along although I felt horrible. Later I pretended to fall asleep and I remember everything that they in turn said about me. Once everyone was asleep I got up and walked home crying the entire way. It was like 3:00 in the morning and I walked over 2 miles and I felt so guilty about what I had done to another new girl in the school. The next day I called her up and apologized and we ended up becoming best friends.

That night I made a couple of choices. The first choice was letting peer pressure affect me so that I did something that I can never forget, that I am still ashamed of to this day. The second choice was to swallow my pride and make it right. I learned a powerful lesson that night, and have never let peer pressure cause me to do something that I know is wrong.

Every day we have things happen to us in which we make choices. Sometimes we make the wrong choice, but we always have the chance to make that wrong choice right both by making amends, and by never making that kind of wrong choice again. It is not easy to stand alone among a group of people that are trying to talk you into something that you know in your heart is the wrong decision for you, but I never let peer pressure cause me to bend my ethics and personal beliefs again.

It is not easy to look at a decision and then acknowledge in your heart it was wrong, and then make amends to those who were wronged. That forgiveness starts first with yourself, because that is the first person you harmed, yourself. Then it moves to those you wronged, and then it moves to a decision that those who are traveling down that path can’t be your friends.

So while one choice can destroy life, one choice can also repair that destruction. This doesn’t mean that things can always be fixed as good as new, but it does mean that you can atone for your bad decisions and move into a better place, both by forgiving yourself and then asking for forgiveness from those we have wronged. I know that in my case, my friend Denise and I had a strong friendship because she was able to see the courage that it took for me to make things right. It changed both of our lives forever.

So remember that you are always one choice away from changing not only your life, but all those you touch!

Change now, love now, live now – this means establishing a life with new meanings and new beginnings. To become aware of our own potential and develop it. We can use NLP, hypnosis, life coaching tools and techniques and reprogram our subconscious mind. There are so many tools available to us today. We all have talents and skills that we can hone in on and develop.

Develop an awareness of your potential. Give yourself permission to live the life you always dreamed of. There are no limits to who you can be. If you are still here, it is not too late to be the person you were born to be. Take the road that has your name on it, and discover just how great you really are. We need “you” (the you that you were born to be), to make this world a better place, please come soon!