Do Not Let Fear Hold You Back

Never let your fears hold you back from pursuing your hopes – John F. Kennedy

• How does one become fearless?
• Can you really be totally fearless?
• Would you want to?

When I think that fear is standing in the way of something that I want to do, then I need to do something to break up that fear into smaller pieces.  My own experience in life so far, has been that some measure of fear is healthy.  It helps me to not be stupid and hurt myself.  It also feeds into my spirit of victory when I accomplish something by growing through the fear and doing it anyway.

• So how do you control fear in your life?
• How do you control your life at all?
• How do you figure out what is within your control and what isn’t?

Part of it starts with understanding what is and is not under your control.  When you accept responsibility for and control over, such things as your judgments, impulses, and desires, then your life changes completely.  These are things that are within your ability to control.

If you try to control other things beyond your control, that is when you just get weighed down. It is like trying to swim with cement shoes, it isn’t going to end well.

Here’s the truth about big life changes:  some people won’t come with you.  and that’s okay – Early Mama

You can’t control our reputation because it is based on exterior things that are beyond our control.  We can’t control the spin that other people put upon what we say or do.  We can however, chose to take the high road and not get mired down in the drama.  How many times have things you have said or done been taken out of context and used against you?  You will be driven crazy trying to control stuff like that.

Your anxiety or getting angry about it doesn’t make it go away.  It doesn’t suddenly become something that you can control.  All it does is make you unhappy and destroy your peace of mind.  You have the choice of continuing to self-inflict injuries upon yourself by trying to control it, or you can let it go.  Realize that in the end, people will either recognize you for who you really are, or they won’t.  It is not something within your control.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid? – Thegoodvibe.co

The realization that what other people do is not your job to control, and you can’t make them change, will shift your world completely.  You begin to focus on walking your own path.  You are no longer trying to control another person’s journey.  With your focus on your journey, the ups and downs of life even out.  Your path becomes more serene.  You aren’t trying to avoid drama; you are just not drawing it into your world.  If something comes into your space, you just take a few deep breaths, let go of any desire to change someone’s else’s journey and keep walking drama free.

What is amazing is that we also have the ability to shift the memories we have into ones that don’t create a negative emotional response inside of us.  Our brain allows us to recall memories and reconsolidate them.  This means that we can take a childhood memory and add new information that wasn’t available to us as children.  We can turn fearful memories into fearless ones.

Everything we want is on the other side of fear – Jack Canfield

My sister Julie for example is a real scaredy cat.  She jumps at anything.  When she was a teenager, there was a movie that came out with a ventriloquist dummy that was a horror show.  She was watching T.V. alone late at night and the commercial came on for the movie.  She was terrified that it was coming after her.  So, she went to my parents’ bedroom door, opened it and called for my mom.  My parents’ bedroom was up some stairs, and their bed was against the railing of the stairs.  So, my mom leaned over the railing to tell my sister to be quiet, so she didn’t wake up our dad.  When my sister saw a head looming down the staircase she screamed and fell over backwards, falling down the couple of stairs that she had started up.  Needless to say, my dad was woken up – lol.

My sister as an adult can laugh at this story and it is no longer scary, because she has new information available to her, that her teenage self didn’t have.  We can do this with any scary memory that we have.  Update our memory with new information.

Life is like a game.  You can play it safe and be good, or you can take a chance and be great – iliketoquote.com

With visualization we can do the same thing to our future.  We can see into our future regarding something that we are scared of.  We can go through the experience step by step over and over again in our mind.  We can cross over from being fearful of the situation to being confident of it.  This is exactly what Olympic Athlete’s do.  They see themselves performing their routines perfectly over and over again.  They have hooked up machines to them and discovered that the muscles of the athletes are actually firing just like they were physically doing the routine when they are just using visualization.  The more they do this, the better their skills become.

I am the master of my habits – #Goalgetter

So, break down the walls of fear that you built to keep you safe.  Start believing and visualizing your dreams coming true.  Take a practice run to see what you can do with the ropes of safety.  Then expand that with visualization.  Then go for the life you have been dreaming of living.  Don’t let fear hold you back.  Go become the person that you have never been, but wished you were.

Daring To Be Great

“Nothing can dim the light that shines within”  – Maya Angelou

It takes considerable strength to dare to dream.  To dare to be the one chosen to bring something special and wonderful to the world.  It means that you’ve taken the step of defining who you are at a soul level.  You are daring yourself to live up to that soul destiny.  When you dare to step out on the ledge, you realize that you are making yourself vulnerable.  Those who dare greatly, can fail greatly.  In fact, failures are a given.  You can’t step outside your comfort zone and not have some failures in your life.

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly”  – Robert Kennedy

When you reach up to touch the sky, you will almost always find that there are those who want to knock you down.  You can’t listen to the bullies of the world.  You can’t let fear run your life. Your assignment, your commitment, your intentions are all too valuable to be derailed by the lies and hatred of those who can’t stand in your light.

“Advice is like snow.  The softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon and the deeper it sinks into the mind”  – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Some poems have so much learning in them, that it blows your mind.  Some truths are so universal and so grounded in absolute truth, that they define all cultures and times.  I think that the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling is one of those poems.  It was brought to my attention again when I read a blog that I subscribe to.  There is such a depth to it that I am only talking about a small part of it.  The part that relates to the courage you need to rise above all the drama that tries to attach itself, when you are daring greatly.  I will print the entire poem at the end.

“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad.  Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too”  – Will  Smith

I am only talking about the first stanza because we have seen so many people lately get caught up in violence, both with terrorism and workplace violence.  They fight against those that have different beliefs than themselves, as though having a difference of opinion makes theirs less valid.  They don’t understand that you can hold opposing viewpoints and not have to label one as right and one as wrong.

“You don’t have to disrespect and insult others simply to hold your own ground.  If you do, that shows how shaky your own position is”  – Red Haircrow

True warriors know that they don’t need to resort to fighting to be strong, to dare greatly and face the wind.  They can face the wind because they know what it takes to be different, and still be grounded in a fullness and ease of spirit and grace.  When you face the wind, you lift yourself up above the opinions of others.  You step into a space of knowing that what you are creating, manufacturing and generating is your own successful life.  You are fulfilling your destiny by daring to touch the sky.

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain.  It takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving” – Dale Carnegie

One of the hardest things to learn as you mature, is that while people can say or do nasty things to you, you don’t have to get down in the mud with them.  Politicians in general (there are some who don’t feel it is necessary to degenerate their opponents to make a valid point) seem to get into name calling wars.  As an adult you will be disappointed by those who in order to build up their own egos begin tearing down someone else.  Sadly, you will see this kind of behavior not only in politics, but also in your jobs, in your families, and among your friends.

“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too”  – If by Rudyard Kipling

Bullies and cyberbullies are becoming way too common.  I think that the leaders of all of the countries around the world need to understand, that when they act badly, it sets the tone for others to do so.  I can remember trying so hard to teach my children that people who bully others have a very low opinion of themselves.  They usually are being bullied themselves, or were bullied when they were younger.  They attack without reason, because in their minds they believe that if they hit first and hit hard enough, they are in fact protecting themselves.  They are hurting so badly that they need to hurt others.  I wanted them to be able to understand why someone would be mean, spiteful and say things that they knew were not true.

“Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating”  – If by Rudyard Kipling

How does a person listen to the lies that someone else tells or feel the pain of being hated, and not go down the same road in displaying that behavior back to the person who is hurting them?  Remember the childhood rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?  Or the “I’m rubber your glue, bounces off me and sticks to you?”  You may have tried to pretend as a child that whatever mean hurtful thing was being said, it didn’t effect you.  But it did.  You may have tried walking away, but usually they just followed you. So you became small, withdrawn and tried to take up as little space as possible.  You wrapped yourself up in silence and disappeared.

“Never be bullied into silence.  Never allow yourself to be made a victim.  Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself” – Tim Fields

How do you go from that child who tried to disappear, to the adult who steps out on the ledge and says, “Look at me – I am daring to stand up and touch the sky, to make a difference in the world.”  You could kill them with kindness.  Or deflect it saying that their energy or vibration was way below yours.  Or you could pretend that all their negative remarks did not even phase you, hoping eventually it would be true.

It isn’t just about surviving something.  Because if you are only surviving then you are still being a victim of the bullying, even if it happened years ago.  It is about forgiving and letting it go.  It is about having being free of the drama and leaving it behind you.  It is about living a thriving lifestyle.

If it is still happening in your life now, then think about this – what in your case is “the ball”, and how can you take it and “go home”?

“The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home.  First time, every time.  When there’s no ball, there’s no game.  Bullies hate that.  So they’ll either behave so they can play with you, or they’ll go bully someone else”  – Seth Godin

Put another way, don’t add fuel to the fire.  Without your fuel, the fire will go out.  How do you get into this frame of mind?  How do you not feel that you have defend yourself, defend your reputation, defend that your rights?  You stay in your own lane.  You keep dancing to your own rhythm.  Yes, it might be that some people who don’t know you well enough will listen to what the bully is saying and repeat it.  What is done in the dark will come to light.  Time has a way of showing people’s true colors.  Eventually if you stay in your lane, and keep your own internal rhythm strong, people will recognize who is living the good life, and who is the one trying to tear others lives apart.

“Dance and make the song you sing your prayer.  Sing it courageously, and with each step strengthen yourself with the knowledge and wisdom of your elders.  So whatever next happens you can survive and not lose your rhythm”  – Red Haircrow

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Clarity, Conviction And Taking Action Bring About Transformation

“Talent hits a target no one else can hit.  Genius hits a target no one else can see” – Arthur Schopenhauer

What stands in the way of you hitting your target?  Your Dreams?  Your big hairy audacious goals?  How many excuses have you made up for why you are not trusting your soul to lead you in the right direction?  How many times are you going to use your family, your job, other people’s problems, as excuses to block access to the door of your own dreams?

“Creativity comes from trust.  Trust your instincts” – Rita Mae Brown

I am not yet ready.  As soon as I have everything organized, I will be ready.  As soon as I have my ducks in a row, I will be ready.  As soon as I . . . fill in the blank. (Finish?  Learn more? Buy a house?  Get the kids through college? etc. . . .).  There will always be something new to stick in that blank, that lets you stand in the way of your destiny.

The problem has to do with time.  There comes a time when you have used it all up.  Then all you have left is an unfulfilled life.

Not today, but later.  Tomorrow I will do it.  Too busy today.  Later I will . . .   Tomorrow I will . . . fill in the blank.  Like time is a blank check that you can write any amount you need into it.  The reality is “Someday” is never coming.

I used to tell myself that as soon as the kids were all in school, I would have time to write.  Then it was as soon as the kids were out of the house.  Then it was as soon as I wasn’t working so much overtime.  It was always, “as soon as” – that “Someday” just kept moving further and further down the timeline.  I could never catch up to it, until I decided I wasn’t playing the game anymore.  Then everything changed.

“It’s your road, and yours alone.  Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you”   – Rumi

Or maybe your excuses are you don’t know what you should be aiming for.  You don’t know what your life purpose is; you don’t know what your personal genius is.  Are you even trying to find the answers?

What sets your soul on fire?  What is it that you can see that sends your mind down the rabbit hole of possibilities?  What is it that so wraps up your heart and soul, that you don’t even hear the objections of everyone around you saying it can’t be done?

Your soul has all of the answers, you just have to ask the right questions.  Your personal genius sees what no one else can see, and if you aim your heart and mind to what it tells you, there isn’t a target that you can’t hit.

Or maybe your subconscious patterns have you stuck and asleep at the wheel of life.  You’re the dreamer in a dream dreaming, and you think that you are awake.  It reminds me of the movie, “The Matrix”.  Will you take the blue pill and stay in your dream or the red pill and follow the rabbit down the rabbit hole? (Side note:  did you know that Keanu Reeves donated approximately $50M which was almost all of his earnings from this movie to the special effects team, making them all millionaires?  I think he took the red pill in real life too.)

There is a big difference between knowing what you should do, and actually doing it.  It all comes down to the blue pill of knowing or the red pill of doing.  Doing requires you to initiate your life.

“The easiest thing is to react.  The second easiest thing is to respond.  But the hardest thing is to initiate” – Seth Godin

Or it could be that your resiliency has lost all of its bounce.  You used to be like Tigger and bounce everywhere and somehow, you’ve turned into Eeyore.  Now you have a dark cloud over your head shutting out all light.  Don’t let your mind enslave you.  Let go of the illusions created from failure or disappointment.  Free yourself from the chains of your own making.  Don’t make yourself an undiscovered genius.

The hardest part of hitting the target is the decision to let go of the arrow.  To take fear and doubt out of the equation.  To cast time out the window.  Passion unchains your creativity.  It removes the fear of change, the fear of success or failure.

“As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning” – Barbara Sher

All Things Are Possible

Never settle.  Fight for the life, the career, the dreams, the love that you deserve.

  – Mandy Hale

Women cry not just when they are sad.  They cry when the are angry, frustrated, and misunderstood.  They also cry when they are in joyous exultation, happy beyond bearing.  When a divine truth enters a woman’s life, it strips her bare.  These are tears that need to be honored.  It is time to say goodbye to something that no longer bears the resonance of truth for us.  It is time to say hello to a new truth.  Playing with the fire of truth, we burn away the parts that no longer belong and refine what remains.

I will not trade my authenticity for your approval.

  – Wild Woman Sisterhood

I went to see the Wonder Woman movie this past weekend.  I enjoyed it, as I watched her face her idealisms being shattered.  I watched her as she refined herself, her purpose in her life.  The decision she made to leave the island.  The decision she made to liberate the village.  The life changing decision that she made in facing up to Ares and his taunts.  Ares demonstrated in front of her that mankind wasn’t worth her sacrifices.  I loved the principle that was celebrated, that it really didn’t matter if the people were judged as being worthy of her sacrifice.  She wasn’t their judge about such things.  She was doing what she did for her own beliefs that she held sacred. 

Transformation is the journey you are on.  You are exploring the wisdom of your soul.  You are shedding old ways and beliefs that no longer fit who you are becoming.  Be brave, dear one.  You are becoming your authentic self.

  – Unknown

It reminded me of when you are walking down the street and you see homeless people panhandling.  Many would say, “they are not worthy of our hard earned money”.  That, “they will just use it for drugs or alcohol”.  That somehow, “they deserve the situation that they have landed themselves in”.  My hope is that this movie gets us to rethink about the automatic judgments we make.  The condemnations that we believe we are justified in holding.  That we open our hearts instead to look for a different way.  A better way to help those who have lost their way.  We can’t change their lives for them, they have to do that.  But we can give them a helping hand, a hand up, not just a hand out.  That we can help to empower them to see, that they are worth something still.  That they have a powerful story that can help save others.

 If you are not free to be who you are, you are not free . . .

  – Clarissa Pinkola Estes

There are days when the frustrations of running up against road blocks make you want to blow up the road, and disappear into the wilderness.  You can’t let those days make you run away.  There are too many people out there that are looking to you to show them the way to follow their dreams.  Hold on to sisters who are fellow dreamers and action takers.  When your flame is being blown out, they will shelter you from the wind.  They will help you to regroup.  They will be your saving grace to keep you from going dark.  Each time we get into a level of frustration that has us wanting to “tap out” of life, we need to reassess what we are doing.  If the actions we are taking are not getting us where we desire to go, then we need to reassess and regroup.  What else is possible?  How can we redefine what we are doing? 

It takes 4 weeks for you to notice a change.  It takes 8 weeks for your friends to notice.  It takes 12 weeks for the rest of the world to notice a change.  It takes 1 day to decide that you are enough.

  – Unknown

I wonder how many times our change actually took place, and we stopped working on it on week 3 because we couldn’t see it happening?  Maybe you have achieved something new, and then you threw away because you were still looking at yourself through the old filter.  You couldn’t see what you had actually accomplished, so you just went back to the same old you? 

Don’t wait until you’ve reached your goal to be proud of yourself.  Be proud of every step you take toward reaching your goal.

  – Unknown

 Imagine you have a potters wheel in front of you.  You are sculpting a bowl.  You look at it and it isn’t what you were trying to make.  Do you take the clay and throw it against the wall?  Do you blame the clay or the wheel for not producing your work of art the way you wanted it to be?  Or do you simply squish it back down and start over?  If our bowl is to be molded to what we want, maybe we just look for ways to do it differently.  What can we add, or take away?  Go faster or slower spinning the wheel?  More or less water?  Create definitions higher or lower?  We have millions of choices to get where we are trying to go.  We also have millions of chances and changes to make in getting us there. 

Transformation is often more about unlearning, then relearning.

  – Richard Rohr

I always think about babies for this.  They learn to roll over to change what they can see or touch.  Then they learn how to get their legs underneath them so that they can move them and learn to crawl.  Then they start using leverage against furniture to get them to stand up on their legs.  Then they start walking and from there they start running, climbing and jumping.  Each step fed into the next step.  They don’t crawl once they have learned to walk.  They let go or unlearn the crawling piece as they transform how they get around the room by walking, running, climbing and jumping. 

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

  –  Socrates

In this same way, each new thing we learn essentially replaces a previous truth.  At one time I was a roller, then a crawler, then I let those old truths be replaced with the next level of learning.  All of those old levels of learning were necessary to get me where I am today.  But they are not what is going to get me where I am going tomorrow.  When the new door of opportunity for learning and growth opens up, go through the door.  Don’t stay a roller or a crawler, stuck in a cramped space that no longer allows any room for new growth.  Don’t settle.  Shoot for the stars.  Any time we find ourselves stuck in a cramped space and not growing, we need to accept responsibility for being there.  In some way we are inhibiting our growth and transformation.  Then step through the door to growth and transformation.  Adjust your sails to catch the wind and fly across the waves.

Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask.  Everything you want also wants you.  But you have to take action to get it.

  – Jack Canfield

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Only Those Who Can See The Invisible Can Do The Impossible

You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.

  – Abraham Maslow

On “America’s Got Talent”, Mandy Harvey sang an amazing song.  She got the gold buzzer.  What she demonstrated through her song and her story is resilience.  When she was 18 years old, she lost her hearing from a disease.  She had been singing since she was four years old.  When she lost her hearing, she did what most of us would do and put away her dream as something that would never be able to happen for her.  She stopped singing.

Yes, sometimes the odds are really stacked against you, but no that doesn’t mean you’ll fail.  The odds of you even being conceived are so close to nothing that no one in their right mind would bet on your being here.  But you are.  You’ve already proved you can beat the odds.  So, do it again.

  – Doe Zantamata

Now here she was on stage to sing.  What had happened?  Why did she decide to try again to be a singer?  The song she sang is one that she wrote.  In the song she says that she got tired of not living the life she wanted to live.  That she was tired of saying no to her dream.  That even though the sky was more gray than blue for her, she was going to try and take her place again.  To try and live the life she still felt that she was destined to live.

Wanting something is not enough.  You must hunger for it.  Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way.

  – Les Brown

She got the gold buzzer because of the combination of her beautiful voice, her heartfelt song of struggle, and her determination to overcome her perceived limitations caused by her deafness.  She was so hungry that she refused to let her dreams be defeated.  What Mandy teaches us is so vital.  She had the worlds best excuse not to go after her dreams.  She can’t hear her own voice.  She can’t hear her music.  But instead of stopping her forever, she took some time to heal through what had happened and then she did a very important thing.  She got curious.

A challenge only becomes an obstacle when you bow to it.

  – unknown

She got curious about what did she have that she could use.  Standing in her stocking feet, she can feel the music through the floor.  She then found that she could trust her voice to be on pitch.  She trusted her musicians and translator to let her know how the music sounded, how her voice sounded.  She found she could trust her body and voice to support her in her singing.  Her past of losing her hearing did not mean the end of her life.  It meant learning to live her live in a new way, so that she could still follow her dreams.

Anyone can hide; it’s the easiest thing to do.  Standing up, facing the truth, and working through problems, that’s what makes you strong.

  – unknown

We all have things in our life that create challenges and obstacles.  Some of them are life altering and may seem to close the door to our dreams.  We may sit in the dark and bewail what has happened to us.  We may have to go through the stages of grief, from anger, betrayal, denial, sorrow and so on.  But each day we face a new choice.  We can process through those negative emotions and rebuild our life, or stay in the dark ashes of what we thought life was going to be.

When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal.  You do not change your decision to get there.

  – Zig Ziglar

Like Mandy, we each of us have something inside of us that is greater than any lemon that life can throw at us.  Sometimes when we are deep within the struggle of survival we can’t see it.  But it is there, patiently waiting for us to get off the floor and back onto our life path.  It helps when we can recall other times in our life when we got knocked down.  The times when we faced the battle against our negative mind talk.  Against the “not good enough” talk.  Against the friends and family who told us to give up, that what we wanted was not possible.  Against those who wanted to protect us from ourselves, from disappointment and failure.  Remember the fears that you faced down.  Remember how you discovered that those fears were all an illusion.

Being a Human Being is all about experiencing all of the wonders of the world.

  – unknown

What if . . .  the things that we go through, are ours to go through so that we can both experience the wonders of the world and appreciate them?  None of us know what we are truly capable of.  If we are just handed all of our desires and dreams, would we see them for what they truly are?  Would we grow and expand in our lives?  I don’t think that any of us would ever believe what it is possible for us to accomplish. 

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

  – Dale Carnegie

If we could sneak a peak at the end of the chapter that we are currently living, we probably wouldn’t accept the truth of what we read.  In the “Wizard of Oz”, Glinda the good witch tells Dorothy – “You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself”.  The same is true for us.  We’ve always had the power to live the life that we dream of.  The path to that destination is how we learn to accept it, use it, grow it, and live our life into it.  We are all capable of far more than we know.  We just need to click those ruby red shoes and say it until we believe it. Then pull up the big girl panties and get it done.  No excuses.

If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.

  – Win Borden

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Believe In Yourself And Be UnStoppable

“The moment you give up all thought of retreat or surrender, you become an unstoppable force” – Tommy Newberry

44 years ago, I gave birth to my oldest son.  At that time natural childbirth was just getting started.  I had decided that I wanted to have Joseph without any drugs.  My mom, a very headstrong woman, was of the opinion that I would never be able to do it.  I would be begging for drugs as soon as the labor started getting difficult.

While this goal started as a personal decision based on the belief that it would be better for the baby, it became a goal so strong that nothing would be allowed to stand in my way.  I was determined to show my mother that I could do this.  Her belief that I was too weak and wouldn’t be able to handle the pain, became my conviction to show her she was wrong.

The hospitals at that time didn’t approve of natural childbirth.  The nurses thought it shouldn’t be done that way.  I wanted to have my son and then go home.  They were adamant that I should stay 3 days.  Nursing your baby wasn’t encouraged.  They liked the babies to stay in the hospital nursery and I wanted him by my side.

It was a fight on all sides, but fortunately my doctor was an amazing man and supported me all the way.  He had been my childhood doctor and had seen me through scarlet fever when I was in Junior High School and removed a benign tumor when I was a teenager.  He figured if I fought my way through that, I could handle childbirth without drugs.

I have wondered whether my intuition had come into play with my decision, because as it turned out, not only did I have Joseph without any pain medication – it saved his life.  As he was coming down the birth canal he hit his head and basically passed out.  He stopped moving down the canal.

He was too far down to do a C-Section and so the doctor used several different types of forceps to bring him out the rest of the way.  When he finally emerged he was blue and wasn’t breathing.  The doctor gave him mouth to mouth and CPR and got his breathing going.  It all happened so fast that by the time my husband and I realized he was in trouble, he was breathing on his own.

“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction”  – John F. Kennedy

After they had run all of the tests, the doctor updated us that he was fine.   He told us that it was his opinion that the only reason he was able to revive him was because I hadn’t taken any drugs.

My intention to have a drug free childbirth, spurred on by my passion to show my mom I could handle it, saved my sons life.  I refused to give in to the pain, and breathed my way through every single contraction.  If my mom hadn’t hurt me by saying I wasn’t capable of handling the pain, I might have given in to it and had the drugs.  She spurred me on, and that direction that took me over the finish line.

In daily life you are constantly changing, transforming and transitioning.  Some of them are so small that they occur without anyone noticing.

I always think of children and their growth spurts in height, for a change that happens without anyone noticing.  Because the growth happens so slowly, when you are with them all day, every day, you don’t see it.  But you do notice it with your friends or relatives children.  You may not see them for a month or two and you see them again, and they have grown a couple of inches.

You only notice your own children’s growth by the fact that they need new clothes because everything they own no longer fits them.

“She was fierce, she was strong, she wasn’t simple.  She was crazy and sometimes she barely slept.  She always had something to say.  She had flaws and that was ok.  And when she was down, she got right back up.  She was a beast in her own way, but one idea described her best.  She was unstoppable and she took anything she wanted with a smile” – R.M. Drake

Some changes, transformations and transitions happen with a moment.  A single moment can change your life forever.

When you are pregnant with your first child, you think you know what it means to be a parent.  You think you know how it will change your life.

When you hold that precious baby in your arms for the first time, it dawns on you that you were right about your life not being the same.  You also realize that had no idea, what this would really be like.  You look into that tiny face, and for the first time you really truly understand unconditional love.

You might have doubts about how you are going to be a good parent.  You will realize you have no idea what you’re doing, and that you are probably going to fail over and over again.  But you also know that nothing is going to stop you.

You will figure out how to survive on two hours of sleep.  How to give a wiggly baby a bath.  How to clip fingernails and toenails without pinching their soft skin too.  How to balance a child, a bag of groceries, and open/close doors all at the same time.  How to kiss boo boo’s and make them better.  How to potty train your son and teach him to keep that urine stream pointed in the right direction.  You will rock them when they’re sick, and wish you could be sick instead.

You will do this because you are strong, fierce, and flawed, you will go to war for and with your child, you will be unstoppable.

I used to have a bumper sticker that said, “I can handle anything, I have teenagers”.  Teenagers are messy souls.  They are chaos in motion.  They will rip your heart into pieces one minute, and the next minute cuddle you and say how much they love you.  Parents of teenagers know what defeat is.  Slamming doors, screaming I hate you.  Having to talk for hours until you break through the defenses to find out what is really wrong.

Failure is not defeat.  When one door won’t open, you learn to try another.  Failure is just a detour.  I learned from my children, they were my greatest teachers in showing me how I could be better, and do better.

I learned about communication with my children.  How to reach down into their hearts and draw them out.  I knew when they were misbehaving that something was going wrong in their lives.  I knew if I could just find the right words, they would tell me what was wrong.

I learned how to use analogies.  I learned to find ways to tell stories that would help them put into words, what was happening in their lives that they didn’t know how to talk about.  I learned to go down deep within the well of their hearts, to bring up what was asking to be seen and acknowledged.

Sometimes I failed.  Sometimes I didn’t pay close enough attention.  Sometimes I wondered how I ever thought I could be a mom.  But I didn’t give up.

I loved the first photo because she is running in the rain.  She didn’t listen to that voice that said, don’t run today, it is raining.  It is cold.  You should just stay in your nice warm bed.

In every area of your life, you can be unstoppable.  Every new day dawns with a ray of hope.  Hope of it being a good day.  Of being a day with a fresh start in creating positive change, transformation and transitions into your life.

• The hope of resiliency.
• The hope of being a positive example for someone else.
• To inspire them to accomplish their dreams.
• To lead by example.
• To be perfectly imperfect and be ok with that.
• It’s all about being better than you were yesterday.
• To live a courageous life.
• Being willing to say, “I can do better, let me try this again”.

“Whatever your difficulty, whatever your hardship, dance and make the song you sing your prayer.  Sing it courageously, and with each step strengthen yourself with the knowledge and wisdom of your elders.  So that whatever next happens, you can survive and not lose your rhythm”  – Red Haircrow

Throughout your life there will be things to let go of, and there are things you need to pick up.

• You need to let go of the self judgment.
• You need to pick up self confidence to break through fears.
• You need to let go of perfection, and pick up the belief that just because you fail, you must be a failure.
• You need to pick up your self esteem, and realize that you are more than enough for anything that life throws at you.
• You need to let go of heart break and pick up the ability to be in love with vulnerability.

To realize that being vulnerable allows you to experience life at a whole new level.  You can love without being needy.  You can be grateful for every experience, because it made you powerful beyond measure.

Keep looking for new ways to express your creativity.  Keep looking for passion and purpose in your life.  Keep growing into a master of life.  Don’t settle.  Be the unique person that you are, a beautiful soul expressing Gods love here on earth.  Nobody else has your voice, your mind, your story, your vision.  Be unstoppable.

Relax Into Surrender And Receive What Is Promised

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is?  What could be more insane than to oppose life itself which is now and always now?  Surrender to what is.  Say “yes” to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you”  – Eckhart Tolle

When you are in resistance to something you expend a lot of energy trying to stop something that can’t be stopped.

Imagine that you are holding a rubber band as far as it can be stretched.  At some point one of two things are going to happen.  The band will experience fatigue, break and snap your hands painfully, or you will let it go, releasing the tension.

If you find yourself exhausted every single day, you might want to check to see what you are creating resistance to.

What inner conflict and struggle is going on in your life?  What rigid habits or mind sets do you have which are in conflict with your journey?

Relax and tune into your inner guidance.  Follow where your intuition leads.  Then gently let go of what is creating this tension, the thing that is no longer serving you.  Experience the joy of renewed energy when you are in the flow of your life path.

Part of the process of learning to surrender to what is, is the process of learning to love who you are in this moment.  Accepting yourself with all of your imperfections actually empowers you to grow into your potential.

It is kind of opposite of what you may think.  You put yourself down thinking that condemning parts of yourself, is the way to change those parts of you that aren’t perfect.

Think of a metal spring.  Hold it between two of your fingers, pressing your fingers together so that it is totally compacted.  No space left.  This is how you treat yourself.  Like the expression, “too tightly wound”.  You compress your feelings, your desires.  You hold fingers tightly thinking that it puts you in control.  That you can force yourself to hide the parts you don’t want others to see.

“The greatness of a man’s power is in the measure of his surrender”  – William Booth

But at some point, your fingers are going to get tired.  When that happens you are going to let go of that spring.  Then that spring is going to bounce all over the room.

When that happens, you create a pattern of self-sabotage in your life.  Your life turns into a Greek tragedy. You implode and whatever you were trying to hide, will expose itself in a big way.

But what if instead of trying to hold tightly to the spring, you released the tension just a little bit?  Then a little bit more and more, until there is no tension left.  You find the spring just stands there, perfectly balanced.

By surrendering to who you really are, you empower yourself to become better.  Instead of being your enemy, it becomes your teacher.  You learn to work with it, instead of fighting against it.

“Surrender requires courage.  In meditation, you confront yourself with your problems again and again until you finally understand the absolute need to let go.  Otherwise, you will continue to emphasize the lack of acceptance, regrets, pain . . .   But  when acceptance comes, I can see smiles on your faces”  – Sahajananda

You can’t control other people’s actions or reactions.  You can’t really control your own.  You can learn to let go.

To be like water.  To flow through, under, over, around the obstacles in your life.

Trying to push the boulder uphill just uses up your energy and leaves you tired, angry and frustrated.  Going around the boulder and continuing down your path is much easier.  Don’t try to drag the boulder back down the hill with you.

Leave it alone.  When you surrender, you also release.  It is a do or don’t do thing.  You either surrender or you don’t.  There is no part way to surrender process.  Find the blocks and release them completely.  Or don’t.

It takes a great level of self-love and determination to live your life this way.  But it is the way to growth and change.  To be able to live life as the greatest version of your true self.

True surrender is not giving up or giving in.  It has nothing to do with failure.  It is not being defeated by something greater than you are.

It doesn’t mean that you become welcome mats and let everyone wipe their feet on you.

It is simply and profoundly going with the flow of life. 

Most of the rules you put into your life were built on the concept of fear.  Fear of being hurt, so you closed up.  Fear of being wrong, so you shut up.  Fear of being exposed or humiliated, so you became invisible.

Surrender is about being vulnerable to all of those fears.  To realizing that you are much stronger than you think you are.  That if the worst happens, you can live and grow through that experience in a new way.  You can transform through any experience to come out the other side, stronger and more beautiful than you were.

“The inspiration you seek is already within you.  Be silent and listen”  – Rumi

It is about accepting what is, not what you were in expectation of.  It is about letting go of the should’s and could’s, and accepting what is.  It is silencing the mind and listening to your heart and souls voice.

Go from being a “human doing” to a “human being”.  The mind is all about doing.  The heart and soul connection is all about being who you are at the center of your being.

Believe in your potential, have faith in what will be.  Like the caterpillar, have faith that when you emerge from the chrysalis an even better life will begin.

In Life’s Dance, Do You Partner With What You Want Or What You Fear?

“If you are resisting something, you are feeding it. Any energy you fight, you are feeding.  If you are pushing something away, you are inviting it to stay”  – Michael Singer

Every day in life, you will experience fear in some way.  Some days it feels like the wolf is at the door.  As he claws at the door you can see it starting to splinter apart.  He is fiercely growling, as he is threatening your life.  Your heart is pounding so loudly it almost drowns out the wolf’s noises.

Other times, you can hear the wolf in the distance, howling and teasing you that he is coming.  You can hear his claws as he paces around and around the house.  But he doesn’t try to come in.  He is content to pace outside and torment you that he might try to come in.

Some of these fears are false events, that you think might be coming true in your life.  You worry at them, like the dog at a bone.  You think about them constantly circling round them over and over.  You feel the non-ending stress with headaches and stomach aches.  You can’t sleep without nightmares.

Other fears are things that have happened to you, that you are afraid will happen again.  Traumatic events that replay in your mind.  Some of these events will take professional counseling to get over, others are something that you need to work through and release.

I have a process that I use when the event has too much pain contained within it.  I review the trauma and deal with releasing as much as I can.  Then I mentally pack the rest of it into a box and put it on a shelf.  I label the box with a date to reopen it.

“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.  The amount of work is the same”  – Carlos Castaneda

On that date, I again work with the trauma and release another portion of it.  Then I repack it into a smaller box, labeled with a new date.  I continue the process until the last of the trauma has been released.

I know that I have reached that stage for two reasons.  (1) I can touch the trauma, and there is no longer a triggered reaction to it. Like touching a tooth ache, I touch it and it no longer causes pain.  (2) There is nothing left to put into a smaller box.  I can then give thanks that I had the strength, will, and courage to come through this trauma with the grace of God.

Part of releasing the pain, is finding one small thing that was a positive life lesson.  I look at it through a strangers eye.  I look for something that I would say as a stranger, to someone who had experienced that trauma.

I stop being the victim.  I stop being in the trauma.  I step outside the drama.

I look for how it strengthened the person’s character.  How they would be able to show more compassion and empathy for others now that they understand this experience.  I keep looking for some nugget of gold.

When I find it, I can release that much pain from the box.  Eventually the box is empty of pain, and instead of pain, I now have a room filled with priceless experiences.

“Opportunities to find deep powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging”  – Joseph Campbell

Some of your fears are not worrying about something bad happening to you.  Some of your fears are about how you are judging yourself.

• You fear being wrong.
• You fear making mistakes.
• You fear being left all alone.
• You fear being abandoned.
• You fear disappointing those you love the most by not being able to live up to their expectations.
• You fear not being able to be what they are trying to make you be.  And you are right.  If you try to be something that you aren’t, eventually you are going to fail.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine”  – Bruce Lee

So what do you do with your world of fears?

• Don’t resist them.  That just makes them bigger and harder to overcome.  Instead get busy with looking inside your own heart and mind.
• Dig in the cave where the fear has rooted itself.  Dig it up.
• Get curious about what event planted it in that spot.
• Get nosy about what other interpretation could be possible as you examine the roots of the fear.
• Start digging up each individual root of the fear plant, making sure that you don’t leave any roots behind.
• Take it out of the dark cave into the bright sunlight.
• Taking action and getting curious about the fear, allows you to let go of the pain it was causing.
• Taking action you can release the doubts that the fear created and replace those doubts with courage and confidence.

By transplanting this fear out in the warm sunshine, you have faced the worst that the fear has to offer.  You came out of the battle victorious.

Not because you killed the fear, but because you transformed it into something even more powerful.  You transformed it into the treasures of dreams fulfilled.  Of achievements accomplished.  Of courage maintained.  Of emotions generated such as gratitude and happiness. Of having the best adventures, the best stories to share with others.  The best gift of all, is to truly know yourself.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear”  – Jack Canfield

Always Believe In Yourself

Sometimes the words scatter from your mind, like leaves being tossed by the wind.  You reach out to catch them, and they skitter away, as though playing tag with you.  The words are carved into the leaves, like pain and joy, just as they are forever etched into your soul.

The leaves fall from the tree without regret.  You release them, and then quickly reach out to try to gather them back to your heart.  Even though they leave scars, they are familiar and portray themselves as your bosom friends.

Yet as time passes, you realize that you have to let the dead things go.  As the leaves fall to the earth, they cover up the path you have been walking.  They don’t want you to leave them behind.

Don’t let anything or anyone define you.  You are what you are, because of what you make of tough situations in your life – Demi Lovato

It is time to raise your eyes up to the sky.  To see that although you may have lost the path, the limbs of the trees are now bare, and you can see the hills beyond the trees.  You can see the stars up above, reminding you that life is enduring and goes on.  It is time to release the old way of life and embrace something new.  Clarity comes into our lives when we release the old.

The seeds of successful change and transformation are planted when we release the failures.  Things fall apart, so that new things can come together.

Some days breakfast should start with dessert.  When I am thinking deep thoughts about what is hanging in the balance of my life, it helps to turn things upside down.  How do you know when it is time to let go of something?  That it is truly dead?  That you aren’t giving up just at the point of when it was finally going to work and come together perfectly?

Is the greatest strength in the hanging on or the letting go?  Separation needs to happen, in order for you to come to the best decision possible.  You need to get quiet.  To go deep within.  To step outside of the expectation, the desire, the frustration, divorced from all emotions clouding your judgment.  To become still, motionless – to step into the pause between the inhale and the exhale.

Stay true to what makes you different.  As long as you’re unique, you’re irreplaceable – Olivia Wilde

• When you reach that still perfect moment, what does your heart whisper?
• What direction is your soul being called?

Return to the root of your soul.

• Build the chrysalis and go through another transformation?
• What seeds have fallen there to take root?
• What new life is sprouting?
• What new adventure is waiting there for you to discover?

Listen to the silence, and let it touch your imagination.

Watch as the wind catches your imagination and lifts off.  The leaves blow, dancing to the silent music that only they can hear.  Lifting off they uncover a new path.  You step softly onto it.  And slowly lifting your wings, you start whirling and twirling in the midnight air.

The leaves spin all around you, and you find the freedom to let them drift where they may.  No longer feeling that you have lost anything.  Realizing that it is in the separation that we become free to shed the old and transform into the new.

It isn’t saying goodbye to the old you with regret.  It is the joyous heart of welcoming the butterfly as she emerges from the chrysalis and stretches out her wings to take flight.

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our sense to grow sharper – W.B. Yeats

Entelechy is an interesting word.  It is according to Wikipedia: the inner strength directing life and growth to become all one is capable of being.  Just as the acorn is the entelechy of the Oak tree, a caterpillar is the entelechy of a butterfly.

We go through transformation to release all the things that we have acquired through life that don’t really belong to us.  They aren’t part of the essence of who we really are.  So, transformation isn’t so much about changing who we are, as it is about releasing who we are not and accepting who we are.

Pay attention to what centers you, calms you, makes you feel grounded and rooted in your life.  When you go for a walk in the woods, what are you naturally drawn to?  A river or brook or even a fountain?  A meadow, an old oak tree?

The beach with the smell of the salt in the air, the wind blowing your hair, and the sounds of the surf rushing to the shore and pulling back into the ocean?  Whatever it is that says, “this is home”?  Bring more of that into your life.

Make an appointment in your calendar to take time to connect to that feeling.  It brings you back to your roots.  It is your true north.  The magnetic path that your feet want to walk.  If you can’t believe in the magic of this connection, you will never find it.

Never stop believing in yourself.  Remember that those who have succeeded will encourage you.  And those that have failed will not – Olianna Portnoy

Life’s Adventures Unlock The Mystery of Who You Are, Start Now

“If happiness is the goal, and it should be, then adventures should be a priority” – Richard Branson

Why should adventures be a priority?  Because it is the best way to learn about yourself and the world.  You learn about what you are afraid of, what challenges you.  What deep seated beliefs you have that you might not be aware of.  It is in fact the best way to experience “LIFE”.  You go somewhere you have never been.

It could be a walk in the woods around where you live.  A hike in the mountains.  A walk along the sea shore, listening to the sea birds call out over the sounds of the waves crashing against the sandy beach.  It could be your first time in an airplane or a cruise ship.  Sitting in a train, you watch the majesty of nature roll by as you cross the rocky mountains, and someplace deep inside you feel the shift.

Somewhere along the line, something will happen out of the ordinary.  You will start out on a certain kind of journey, and along the way the mystery of why you chose that path will reveal itself to you.

“As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen”  – Winnie The Pooh

What is so interesting about travel and adventure is the attitude you bring to it.  You can magnify every discomfort into an ordeal, or you can get curious about what is happening around you.  You can experience it all as an adventure.  You get out of the ruts in your life.  Adventures are the best way to let some stories happen to you.  Discover new trails you didn’t know existed.  Adventures answer questions you didn’t know you had, because with adventures you gain first hand knowledge and experience.

“The books we read answer questions we didn’t even know existed”  – Axel Marazzi

There might be switch backs along the trail and you decide to walk off the trail, and cut through straight up the mountainside.  You come to forks in the trail with no signs, so you have to choose to go this way or that way.  Sometimes the trees are so thick you can’t see the sun.

• It is in the getting lost, that you become aware of what is important.  What are you willing to do to get it?
• It is in the replacing of fear with curiosity that you truly see what your options are.
• It is in seeing the endless stream of possibilities are always there for you to see, but you get so single mindedly focused that you miss every door of opportunity.

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams”  – Oprah

Are you a planner?  I like to get into the details and have things laid out.  It took a lot of practice for me to start leaving space in my plans to just be adventurous.  My husband loves to just get in the car and take a drive.  No real destination, just drive down a road we have never taken, with no idea where it would take us.  Everyone needs someone like my husband, who grabs your arm and says lets go have an adventure.

“Don’t die without embracing the daring adventure your live was meant to be”  – Steve Pavlina

Not planning gives me anxiety.  It feels unstable.  But slowly through years of practice, I allow for spontaneity in my life.  Is it easy for you to follow maps to the edges, and then step off the edge?  You know that the world isn’t flat.  You know there are no monsters of the deep to drag your boat down to the bottom of the ocean.

• Do you go to sleep with stars that you don’t recognize?
• How often do you order something you have never eaten before?
• Do you have the conviction, that whatever you are looking for in life, it is out there waiting for you to find it?

There is no end to what you can discover about yourself when you adventure out with your eyes wide open.  Let the journey unfold itself before you.

“We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us”  – Charles Bukowski

A lifetime of adventures

One of my favorite movies is with Diane Lane, in “Under The Tuscan Sun”.  After a bad a breakup, she is gifted with a vacation in Italy by her best friend.  While on the tour bus, they pass by this house and all of a sudden she makes them stop and let her off.  And that is when her adventure really begins.  She ends up buying the house, restoring it, and meets all of these new people.  She has this idea of what she wants in her life to make her happy – her dream life.  At the end of the movie she has everything she wanted, but it all came to her in a totally different way than she planned.

When you try to make life conform to a plan, you miss the mystery and magic of what it is really supposed to be.  The best gift you can give yourself is a lifetime of adventures.

“Wherever you go, go with all your heart” – Confucius

There is a wonderful book by Jack Canfield called “The Golden Motorcycle Club” and in it he writes that we travel in soul groups.  I can just see the ad for my soul group.

“Limitless soul seeking like minded limitless souls, to journey down to earth for a great adventure.  You will be leaving a good life here, to go for a greater experience of life there.  For in going out into the world of the physical body, you will succeed in discovering that you are far more than you ever dreamed of.  You will find that stories are not just something that you can read about.  Stories are what happens to you and for you when you live a life of adventure.  You will discover if you are, “the girl made up of adventure and wine and all things fine”, or “the girl made up of adventure, fine beer, brains and no fear”.

And so . . . the ADVENTURE BEGINS.  Let’s go do something remarkable.

Say Yes, Choose To Make A Difference, The Butterfly Effect

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.

  – R. Buckminster Fuller

I think that most of us have heard the concept of the butterfly effect.  That the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in one part of the world, can cause a typhoon in another part of the world.  The concept of how making a single change in your life, effects the future of people all over the world.  Every time we make a change in our lives, it shifts who we are.  We in effect destroy the old personality, in creating a new personality.  The caterpillar creates a change by forming the chrysalis around its body.  Then the old body is completely destroyed.  A completely new body is created.  This kind of change is not temporary.  There is no going back to who you were.  Even small changes create revolutionary impacts in a persons life.  Science recognizes this as “The Law of Sensitive Dependence Upon Initial Conditions”, I like “The Butterfly Effect” much better.  LOL.

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful.

 – unknown

I had this experience of seeing how a very simple comment, completely changed my own life.  I was at a seminar and the speaker had asked a question of the audience.  I had raised my hand.  He looked at me.  His face had that expression you get when you think you know someone, but you aren’t sure who they are.  He asked me if I had attended any of his other events, and I said yes.  This was actually my third weekend course with his group. 

One day, whether you are 14, 28 or 65, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die.

  – Beau Taplin

The next words out of his mouth shifted my whole life into a new space of awareness.  He dramatically raised his arm and made the motion of removing a cape.  He said “You are one of those people.  I am removing your cloak of invisibility.”  With those couple of sentences, I was forever changed.  I could feel a heavy weight had been lifted off of me.  It was like a darkness was removed.  I felt like I was standing in the spot light.  I felt every person in the room see me for the first time. 

Each small act of kindness, reverberates across great distances and spans of time – affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo.

  – Dean Koontz

I had been one of those people who could disappear into a crowd.  Now I can’t do it.  It is no longer natural.  It now feels uncomfortable.  I thank Jesse Koran for listening to that intuitive voice inside of himself, and saying what I needed to hear.  It was definitely time for me to transform.  My purpose in this world was calling to me.  This was just the first of many transformations my life purpose would require of me.

A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth.  The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water.  Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts.  And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them is far reaching.

  – Swani Sivananda

What Jesse said was like a tiny grain of sand, a drop of water in the ocean, but that single action led to the creating of LemonadeMakers.  It lead to creating this blog.  It lead to my first book being written, and this summer it will be published.  It has led to a personal freedom in my life, because I finally said yes to me. I finally acknowledged that maybe I did have a gift with writing.  Now I wondered if maybe you would want to hear what I have learned through all of the lessons in my life.  That maybe, just maybe, you would be encouraged to make a shift and change in your own life.  I woke up, and I discovered that part of my own purpose in life, would be to help others wake up.

My writing had been calling out to me since I was a child.  But I was afraid to listen.  Now slowly that wall I had built between my life purpose and the life I was living, began to crumble.  With each new curious thought, I was able to remove some of that wall.  Curiosity is a huge wall demolisher.  Because it circumvents fears from stopping you.  It leads you to joyously take a risk and see what happens.  It is a prime movement of the transformation process.

By your hand millions – BILLIONS – of lives will be altered, caught up in a chain of events begun by you this day.

  – Andy Andrews

The reason why the butterfly effect is so interesting, is that I shift and transform a tiny grain of sand.  You in turn see something as small as a single sentence in this post, that causes you to shift and change one tiny grain of sand.  Your transformation, in turn inspires another to shift and change one tiny grain of sand.  Soon we have a whole mountain towering 5,000 feet in the air.  And it was built, one tiny grain of sand at a time.  One personal transformation of a small thing in your life, in the next persons life, and so on.  Until 5,000,000,000 grains of sand build a mountain.

Each of us is like that butterfly, The Butterfly Effect.  And each tiny move toward a more positive mindset can send ripples of positivity through out organizations, our families, and our communities.

  – Shawn Achor

At some point in our life, we start looking for our life purpose.  In looking at all of the butterfly’s around her in this photo, she finds the one that is perfect for her.  She finds her purpose in life.  While her yellow butterfly looks like many others, it is unique in its coloring.  It fits her perfectly.  She recognizes it as being hers and hers alone.  The question then becomes, what does she do with it?  Because taking up this butterfly will forever change her world.  She will grow and transform into something different and new.  She has the ability to change the world with her decision.  And the interesting thing is, that she will in fact change the world either by taking that butterfly, that purpose up or leaving it behind. 

Don’t quit before the miracle happens.

 – unknown

Every action and every non-action matters.  Every choice you make or don’t make matters.  Will you fully live your life, or just continue to exist?  Your time as a caterpillar has ended.  Will you take up your life purpose, your wings?  If you have said yes in the past, is it time to trade in the smaller wings for a large pair?  To expand your comfort zone?  To acknowledge and accept your bigger purpose in this world?

Before you become too entranced with gorgeous gadgets and mesmerizing video displays, let me remind you that information is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, and wisdom is not foresight.  Each grows out of the other, and we need them all.

  – Arthur C. Clarke

You might find something within this post that strikes you in a new way.  Nothing has been said here, that hasn’t been said elsewhere.  But as we grow into our life purpose, we see things differently because we are different.  So sometimes a sentence brings a new insight that we didn’t get before.  This information may or may not provide some new knowledge or understanding.  Knowledge applied becomes wisdom, so maybe something in this post served as a reminder to make a transformation.  It becomes wisdom when it transforms us in some small way.  That wisdom then provides foresight to the path that we are now walking down.  It provides a small grain of sand, to put onto our mountain top of transformation that we are building.  It tells us whether to take the right hand or the left hand of the path up ahead.

The very beating of your heart matters.  Every choice you make or choose not to make matters.  Your actions impact the world.  Choose them wisely.  Expand your comfort zone.  Seek out every opportunity to say yes to your life purpose.  Your actions will shape how your future unfolds.  Your story has been so far only one of many possibilities.  New choices, new actions, expansion, transformation – all sit in front of you at this moment.  Say yes to happiness, when your life purpose lands on your hand say yes to whatever will lead to expansion and growth.

Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.

  – Charles Dickens

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Your Soul Is Your Greatest Teacher

 

“You have to grow from the inside out.  None can teach you; none can make you spiritual.  There is no other teacher but your own soul”  – Swami Vivekananda

Your soul comes with your purpose already planted within it.  Your gifts are inside, waiting to be discovered.  The divine will is waiting to be expressed through your life.

Unfortunately, you forget what you already knew as a small child.  You get lost.  This is where the divine teachings can assist you.

The universal laws point you in the right direction.  They lead you to re-discover what you have forgotten.

One of the Laws of the Universe.  But what does it really mean when you look at it through the lens of your life?

I love the vibrant health of this tree in our featured quote. It is not only fully supporting itself, it is also providing for the area around it. Everything is vibrant, growing and healthy.

You have the light of the truth being reflected in the lamps to light the darkness down in the root system.  They shine at night to show the way as you go seeking the truth among your deep roots. You have the butterfly of transformation.

You have the fruit of both the foliage around it and the tree itself. This fruit attracts you as you go seeking food for your soul. It is so beautiful, and it invites you to come and rest.

I was listening to a CD by Guy Finley and he talked about the importance of balance in how we show up in the world, comparing it to a tree. Picture the tree having a root system as you see above. This root system is as deep underground, as the trunk and branches of the tree that extend high above the ground. It is about balance of the structure of the tree. The balance of the trees roots below support the outward growth above.

He stated that if a tree that didn’t have strong deep roots (roots deep within), it would be in danger of toppling over. This was because the growth above ground wasn’t being fully supported. In turn, if all you did was work on the root system, then you would have stunted growth above, no fruits. There has to be a balance of inner and outer work, all happening at the same time.

We see this in the Ying/Yang symbols.  In giving, you are going up the outward growth of the tree and in receiving you are going down into the root system.  In breathing in, you are going to the root system, and in breathing out you are going up the growth of the tree.

“The constant in/out, give/receive plays out in so many systems in our lives”

I thought about this in my own life, and watching the lives of others that I see out in the world. We have all seen a number of people who achieved something great in their lives, who later implode through drugs, drinking or sexual escapades. Think of the Hollywood stars that have overdosed, the politicians and scandals that they have had. Even religious leaders have their fair share when they have built an empire that came crashing down on them.

These are all examples of a root system that couldn’t support the upward growth.

So what is the root system in our analogy?

It is the inner work that you  do on yourself. The roots remind you of where you have been, and who you are today. It takes work to get to know your shadows. To uncovering what I call the popsicle stories. The stories you created as a child, to explain something that you couldn’t understand at the time. It is the judgments, traumas and dramas you grew up with. It takes deep inner work to discover what they are, and how they play out in the patterns of your life.  You must go back and claim your past.  It is what helps you to understand your present.

“It is in the connecting the past to the present, that sets up what you can completely shift and change for a better future”

It is through the developing of your relationship with the divine, that you are able to align your souls purpose in being here now. It is about asking the right questions to yourself that you discover “your way home” to your true self and your purpose in being here.

It is exploring and questioning every truth you have acquired throughout your life.  Some of those earliest truths contradict to some of your latest truths.  Some of those older “truths” or stories need to be released.  They no longer serve or support your inward and outward growth.

You need to discover that, as in the Wizard of Oz, you already have what you are looking for outside of you.  It lives deep inside of you in the root system. You already know “the way to home”.

Home is the place of balance in this analogy. The bedrock of the foundation cornerstone. The place where the outward growth of “who you are in this world” is equal to, and growing in proportion to the inner growth of the root system of your tree.  It is the place of awakening.

You have filters in your mind, which serve as a protection.  These filters both serve you and sometimes hurt you.  This is because you miss seeing things that have always been there.

Have you ever driven down a road that you use all the time and see a store front for the first time?  Earlier this year a large commercial building was totally removed so they could build a new structure.  I drive by it 4 times a day, going back and forth to my office from home (I go home for lunch).  I didn’t notice the building was being torn down until they had completely removed all trace of it.

This is because my filter removed it from my field of vision.  This has happened to you too.  The more conscious and awake you become the more you can learn to remove the filters so that you can see those open doors of opportunity.

Several years ago, after the murder of my nephew and the collapse of my sisters nonprofit that she had created afterwards, I discovered my souls purpose with LemonadeMakers.

LemonadeMakers after several years of inner growth preparation it is starting to grow above the ground. The trunk and branches have been growing, and we are about to have a whole lot of pieces of what I have been working on finally come together.

Supporting LemonadeMakers has changed me in ways that I can’t even believe myself. I have grown and changed so much personally. I have seen just how important it is to invest in yourself, and have a personal coach. The time, effort, and money spent means that I have taken the zip line through the jungle, instead of traveling on foot and breaking the trail.

Without coaching I know that I would have probably given up. The hero’s journey with this business has suffered setbacks with our website when I spent a lot of money and the service provider went out of business.  Then with the financial freefall of 2007-2012 recovery when I suffered a large loss of income.  With the support of good friends, the support of great coaches, and my own blood, sweat and tears, whatever roadblock that appears, I manage to keep going and keep growing.

From the place of my own experience in transformational growth, I encourage you to seek out personal coaching in some way. It is hard to see what is happening deep within the root system below you, or high up at the tips of your branches. A good coach, friend or mentor is a mirror reflecting back to you what you can’t see. We all need that friend that removes the toilet paper trailing behind you when you walk out of the bathroom, or smooths out the wild hair in the back of your head.

Just remember that every second is a fresh start to begin nurturing the roots and the branches of your tree. Every day is what you chose to make of it, how you are living your dream out in the world. When you have unrestricted flow between the roots and branches of your tree, you will see the greatest harmony flow into your life.  You will think of something, and make the connection, and produce the result almost without effort.

Ask

Believe

Receive

Contact LemonadeMakers if you want to see if having a personal coach is your next step.