Imagining what we want next year is a far more powerful way to face the future than imaging what we fear.
– Marianne Williamson
Part of the process of planning out your dreams, goals, and visions of a better life is looking back to see what you have done so far. Where is your comfort zone today and what growth to it happened in 2019?
What you are capable of achieving is determined by your talent and ability. What you attempt to do is determined by your motivation. How well you do something is determined by your attitude.
– Lou Holtz
Part of my own growth was creating a pilot program with an opportunity for a scholarship to attend it. I combed through my old journals, things I had studied and notes from other peoples programs I have attended, to come up with some questions to get people to talk a little about their own hopes and dreams. I believe that we already know what needs to be done – that the questions we ask, already have answers deep inside of us. That those answers have been waiting for us to be able to accept them as truths, and that timing is everything. If you are reading this then I believe that the time for you is now.
I believe that sometimes we need someone else to ask the questions that send us searching for our own personal truths. The door is waiting for us to open it, and sometimes we just need to hear the invitation one more time. That time is now.
Part of the process of self transformation is learning more about who we are.
In order to think or live differently, we need to understand our own life patterns. There were some answers to the questions in the scholarship application that revealed some common patterns. Almost everyone had thought in the past twelve months about big life changes – such as moving some place new to them; finding a different job. This indicated that they were unhappy enough in their life to contemplate changing everything.
A vast majority wanted a better life in order to give back something good to the world. I loved this, because even though they have some pretty big issues they were dealing with in their lives, they wanted something better not only for themselves, but to help others too.
They wanted to be better spouses, parents, better people. These are all roles that we play in our lives. It is normal to want to be the best, but sometimes we are so busy putting out the fires in our lives that we are too exhausted to put in the work it requires to be the best we can be. To master the important things in our life. The experts say it takes 10,000 hours to become a master of something – a master chef, a master wood carver, a master of anything. Who has 10,000 hours to put into one thing?
Some of the applicants had just completed or were going through a divorce. When you have a major transition take place in your life, like a death, divorce, or job loss, it becomes a time to take stock of who you are and where you are going. Many times these transitions take away the thing we thought we were. When the kids leave for college, how do you transition to an empty nester? When you retire from your job, who are you now?
Around 50% of those who responded had problems in the past or were working towards sobriety and ending addictions. There is not only living with the label of addict, there is a load of personal issues to work through because most of us who have some sort of addiction used it as a coping mechanism for our lives. The problems we were running away from didn’t disappear just because we tried to. How do we reconnect with who we are, accept it, work with it and transform it, all while dealing with all of our other problems?
The answers to the questions told me that most of us are looking to make big changes in our lives, we just need a little help to get started, and a little motivation to keep going and not let fears stop us.
Life presents you with so many decisions. A lot of times, they’re right in front of you. Come join us and see how I created my own 20/20 vision for myself and for what I want to accomplish with LemonadeMakers for 2020. Learn how to create your own personalized map, claim your own unique goals; refine them; learn how to understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
It’s not just about writing some words on a piece of paper. It’s not just about creating a vision board and then waiting for the “magic” to draw in what we want in our lives. We are going to brainstorm our way, map out the detours around the obstacles, and fully implement your plan.
Just click below to go to a google form to collect your contact information so I can send you how to get on our Zoom call. I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
What I know for sure is that we all hit walls of failure, fatigue. Life happens not to us, but for us. I know that sometimes it feels like we are getting hit with a sledge hammer. It helps us to have a few tricks up our sleeves to handle them so that they just create slowdowns when the rain or snow is coming down so hard and fast we can’t see. And maybe a few detours around washed out roads or bridges. Just don’t give up and stop completely. In the movie Star Man with Jeff Bridges there is a line about yellow lights when they are driving down the road. “Starman: I watched you very carefully. Red light, stop; green light, go; yellow light, go very fast.”
Click below and let’s all learn to “go very fast”.
Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe.
– Sumner Redstone
If you have been following our posts for some time, you probably know the story of why I started writing my blog. My nephew Carl was murdered in a random act of gang violence, literally walking through the park at the wrong time. As you can imagine, this took a toll on our family. In addition to grieving over his death, I was concerned about my sister making it through this tragedy. I started writing through my own grief for both of them on my personal Facebook page and it took on a life of its own.
Persistence can change failure into extraordinary achievement.
– Matt Biondi
After a couple of years I created LemonadeMakers – because when life gives you lemons, you need to make lemonade. At least I did. Every part of life is full of choices. You can choose to hide in the negative or dig for the positive. Sometimes it seems like we don’t have a choice, but we always do. It feels like we are so sunk down into the mud, that mud is all we can see. We then miss the dry ground, the doors that we could open. The chance for a different choice or response, to what is happening.
All I knew was that I had to bring something good and positive and life affirming to the table for myself and my family. Then as I cleaned the mud off of me, I saw the need to bring this to others, because we are all going through something. Maybe not as tragic or violent as my nephews murder, or maybe something even more so. So a dream was born that just maybe I could help others, inspire them to make their own brand of lemonade.
Love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort and keep on learning.
– Carol Dweck
As LemonadeMakers has grown, so have I. It has challenged me to work on my writing skills. Believe me, I have heard from many readers when the grammar is incorrect, or the misspelling made it through spellcheck. I think I have proof read something 10 times, and then I am reading an old post and see something that I missed. It has helped me grow a thicker skin, and let go of the need for perfection and so many other lessons.
Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
– Joshua J. Marine
2019 has come to an end and I wanted to talk about how you keep going, growing, and expanding your comfort zone from day to day. In 2019 my birth father died and I had to let go of the dream I have had for over 55 years – that some day he would call me and tell me how much he loved me and wanted to be a part of my life.
I have been caring for my bonus father (I don’t like the step part of any label, as though it is less than the real thing) and his health has been steadily deteriorating this year and he has been in and out of the hospital. He is starting to lose brain function and it breaks my heart.
This August we found out that my husband of 46 years has prostrate cancer. It is outside of the prostrate and so surgery isn’t an option and he is starting radiation therapy. He was a long haul truck driver, so he had to retire a little sooner than we were planning on.
The entire year I have been working month to month, each month waiting to hear if this is the month I get laid off work. I have worked for the bank for 15 years and they keep extending the lay off, and they also keep telling me it is coming.
Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of success.
– Arianna Huffington
When you add this year up, it has pretty much sucked. I am sharing this with all of you for a couple of reasons. I know that I am not the only one that had things go sideways in her life this year. I think it helps when you know you are not alone in walking and sometimes crawling through life’s storms. I also wanted to share with all of you some of the great things that happened this year, the times when the storm clouds parted and the sun shined for a brief moment reminding me that storms don’t last forever.
Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. But it is the ability to resist or use failure that often leads to greater success.
– J.K. Rowling
I stepped out and made a video about “Catching the Perfect Wave”. I tried to do a couple of webinars, which failed dramatically with no one or only a couple of people attending. I discovered my own way of doing things, rather than just following in someone else’s steps of how things should be done. I learned a lot and really expanded my comfort zone around talking and teaching with groups of people.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts.
– Winston Churchill
I created a pilot program about transforming your life. It centered on the first ring of the Transformational Life Compass, which is all about the labels we live our lives around, the archetypes in our personalities and how to see how we are sometimes our own worst enemy in self sabotaging our life. We granted scholarships to 22 people and while everyone didn’t show up and some didn’t finish – I think it was a great success. The full program will start in February and I am really excited about the life transformations it is going to create to those brave enough to come and join us.
Important achievements require a clear focus, all-out effort, and a bottomless trunk full of strategies. Plus allies in learning.
– Carol Dweck
I think that 2020 is going to be a turning point year for a lot of us. I love the thought of 20/20 vision, focus that is crisp and clear. The ability to see both near and far without fog distorting the images. So how do we take all of the lessons of 2019, the good, bad and ugly experiences and build on that foundation something even better?
The only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.
– Michelle Obama
For the start of the year, to give us all 20/20 insight and vision of what we can accomplish in this brand new year, I am designing a workshop. It will give all of us working together the tools of how to plan out the new year. What to do when the lemons start falling off the tree and hitting us in the head.
There is a military proverb that says something like “in war the battle plans only survive until the battle begins”. Every year we make goals or resolutions to make changes in our life. It might be for health, or education, a better job, working on our marriage, raising children, buying our first home and so on. Those goals or dreams seem to survive the first month or two of the year and then they morph into something unachievable and unrecognizable.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking.
– Brian Tracy
With everything going on with my job, my husband, and my dad, I could put my dreams for the next step for LemonadeMakers on hold. I could put my entire 20/20 focus on these very important personal things in my life. I could just let LemonadeMakers struggle along until my personal life got easier. I put my writing on hold for too many years. I refused to do that in 2019, and I won’t do that in 2020. I am in a marathon and there comes a point in running where if you keep going, you break through into a new level. I want to share with you how I did this in 2019 and how I plan on it in 2020.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
So stay tuned tomorrow for Part Two, to read about some of the tools I use and that you can use too – I can’t wait to share everything with you!
And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this! And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.”
– Ian Thomas
What we all need to realize, is that the lights of the passing ships are mere distractions preventing you from living your life to the fullest. They are the battles that you fight each day, but which do not lead us anywhere. When we honestly realize how asleep we are in our lives, those are the moments when you can begin to challenge the ongoing distractions and bring focus back to the stars – the lights of our true destination.
In a world deluged by irrelevant information, clarity is power.
– Yuval Noah Harari
It’s like someone has set up a circus tent in front of us. You hear the chaos of the music and the shouting barkers telling you about what’s happening in their tents. You hear the shouts and screams of people as they spin and circle and go up and down on the rides. You smell the funnel cakes and cotton candy and popcorn. Bright lights spin on the games as they encourage you to step up and try your luck. So many distractions that you can’t hear yourself think. All of the bright shiny objects promising you the moon, if you just come nearer and pay attention to them. It is a constant battle for your attention. Who wins? The one you pay attention to.
It is those who concentrate on but one thing at a time who advance in this world.
– Og Mandino
I love to ride the roller coaster. To watch the performers with the animals. To see the daring artist high up on the trapeze dancing across the wire. There are lots of fun and exciting things that we can do in our life. What we have to decide is are they part of our goals and dreams, or are they just fun distractions that keep us occupied, distracted. Are they keeping us occupied so that we are not making the changes and transformations that we need to make in order to achieve the life of our dreams? Are they fun things that we should be saying “no” to?
The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.
– Bruce Lee
Are we living our life with laser-like focus? I always think of Bruce Lee when he is in his stance about to engage with someone in battle. He doesn’t hear the sounds around him. He doesn’t see the bright shiny objects trying to distract him. He see’s only one thing – the man in front of him that he’s about to engage in battle with.
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust
Remember the movie City Slickers? Remember Curly, Jack Palance’s character? I love his famous line –
“Curly : Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly : This.
Mitch : Your finger?
Curly : One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.
Mitch : But, what is the “one thing?”
Curly : [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.”
When you are pursuit of the “that one thing”, then the rest of the world fades away. We don’t see the lights of the passing ships – we are laser focused on that star – that bright shining light in the night sky. We no longer wander through the circus seeking distractions. Now we are traveling for fulfillment. We are seeing the world with new eyes. New eyes that are open for the first time to the many doors of potential and opportunity that we missed when we were being distracted by the circus.
But I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything
– Alan Watts
That is kind of what the movie City Slickers was about – those men had gone asleep to what was important in their lives. They were living by distraction, not laser-like focus. The meaning of life can be found in many things if we are awake and looking for it. It tends to show up when we are out of our normal element. Going off on a day trip to the mountains, the beach, the desert. Away from the day to day of our life. Away from the distractions that follow us around.
Be addicted to your passions, not your distractions.
It is when we can get quiet that a connection is possible. We finally see the truths we have been avoiding with the distractions. We discover that the thread of destiny in our life, is where the laser-like focus really begins to take shape. That “thing” that we not so much latch on to, as it latches on to us. We are pushed, pulled, and prodded until finally we realize that we have no choice – we have to live the life that brings our destiny into fulfillment.
Tomorrow becomes never. No matter how small the task, take the first step now!
– Tim Ferriss
If like the character in City Slickers you don’t know what that “one thing” is, go find it. Go somewhere quiet without any of the normal distractions in your life. Sit and think about your life. Dig up all of your old dreams that you abandoned as not being possible when you failed the first time. Reconnect with your passion, the thing that liberates your energy and your spirit. The thing that inspires hope in you again. When you find it, do everything in your power to stay connected.
In life, people tend to wait for the good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out.
– Neil Strauss
Let the circus roll on by. Don’t stop for the Carmel Corn or the Hot Dog. Don’t go on the rides, or play the games, or watch the circus clowns climb in and out of the clown car. Keep your eyes on the stars, and not the passing ships lights. Clarity, focus, making things happen. That’s how you keep your eyes on your stars. Ignore the circus as it shouts to you about what it thinks is so important. Once you understand your own destiny, your secret of life, don’t let that connection go. Remember that the best view comes after the hardest climb.
“No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. No matter how confident someone may look, there are times when they feel insecure and unsure. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they’re falling apart. Never think for a moment you’re alone with your struggles. You’re not a mess. You’re human.” – Lori Deschene
Most of my friends and relatives consider me a very positive person. Someone who can handle whatever life throws my way. A person who will look and look until she finds the silver in the silver lining of the cloud. But there are days when I think that I am not capable of helping myself, let alone others. There are days when I feel like I am not having a positive impact on anyone. There are days when I look at everything I am trying to accomplish with my life and wonder why I am bothering – when it feels like I am working so hard and getting nowhere fast.
“To attract loving and connected relationships, we must first embody the love and connection we seek” – Dr. Debra Reble
Those days will happen to you, no matter how strong you think or others think you are. When they do happen, I have a story that I pull out to remind myself that I am creating ripples, even when I don’t know who those ripples are helping.
A couple of years after my mother had passed away, a friend that used to babysit my kids when they were little and she was a teenager, lost her daughter (a senior in high school) in a bus accident. She was having a really hard time and we were talking about her loss. I really don’t remember what I told her, but I know that it had to do with something I had brought out of the loss of my mom on how to deal with grief and heartbreak.
Years later she was at my mother in-laws funeral and she came up to me to thank me for those words. She remembered them all. They helped her through the dark tunnel of her grief. I had no idea that anything I said could be that impactful. I know that with her own experience, she also was able to give those words to others when they were dealing with overwhelming grief. What I don’t know is how many ripples those words have made, and how many more they will impact.
To be truly happy, you must have connection in your life. First the connection must be to you. To your life purpose. To personal growth. To being the best possible you, that you can be. Self love, self trust, being honest with yourself. Then connection to friends, family, to a mission, vision or cause is vital to live a life that brings you satisfaction, fulfillment and happiness.
It’s also about the way you think about things that are happening – are they happening “to you” or “for you”? Do you look for the silver lining? Do you assign the best possible meanings to what you see and hear around you? Or does that negative mind talk take over and make you feel unwanted?
“Don’t focus on what’s wrong. Things may not be perfect but be grateful for the opportunity to experience each day. Live each day like it could be your last” – Joel Osteen
When your only seeing yourself through the lens of your past mistakes, your regrets and failures – you need to remind yourself that you are so much more. There is a beautiful person hiding inside of you that is vulnerable and afraid. Fears of not being worthy, not enough. Fears of being hurt because someone hurt you in the past. Whenever this beauty seeks to emerge you push it back because fear tells you it isn’t safe.
Think of the caterpillar all wrapped up in the chrysalis. He has transformed into a beautiful butterfly. It is time to break open the lining, to unfold the wings to dry, and take flight. But in fear he keeps grabbing the sides of the lining to try and stay hidden. It’s a scary world out there.
All these fears overwhelm him and he tries to hide himself to keep him safe. Yet the real danger is in staying hidden.
Just like this butterfly, you might think that you are providing safety, by hiding behind a mountain of buried pain. It is time to tear down that mountain. To remove every single brick of the walls that you have built up. To put down the suitcase of your past failures and disappointments, and walk burden free into your future. It is time to spread your wings. It is time to fly into the future you are meant to have. Yes there will be new failures as you learn to soar. Remember that you have potential. That you have gifts that enable you to live a life full of possibilities. You can make your dreams a reality. But nothing will happen, until you try.
“Resolutions for the Soul – No more what if’s…, no more wondering what if I tried that, started that, said that, told that person how I really feel, went on that adventure. No more wondering what if. Starting now, we do it, try it, step out, start, take the risk, make the leap. We make a vow to stop living wondering, what if…,?” – Rob Bell
Quit collecting every painful word that has even been spoken to you or about you. Quit putting meaning to thoughtless words and actions of both yourself and others. Since every experience is seen through your minds eye, change your mind and start collecting hope. Start putting the best meaning possible into what you hear. Start viewing your world through the lens of compassion, both for yourself and for others.
When you focus on leading a creative, positive, inspirational life fear is going to raise it’s head. Fear is always triggered when you pursue change. Change is growth and growth is something to be happy about. Do you remember as a child standing against the wall and measuring how tall you were? How you would measure yourself against your friends and family members who were taller than you to see if you had grown to the same height or gotten taller? You couldn’t wait to grow. Instill that same feeling into your own personal growth. Fear hates it when it doesn’t know for absolutely positively how something is going to turn out. Uncertainty is something that fear can’t stand. But you can change your relationship with both fear and uncertainty.
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance” – Brene Brown, PHD, LMSW
Never let fears stop you from pursuing your dreams. Don’t let your fears of what might happen, mean that you don’t make anything happen. Come join us for our next Zoom call. Bring all of those creative “hope” juices to the table and let’s see what we can make.
Reframing. It is one of those things that is both simple and hard at the same time. Every hero story needs a villain. Something to overcome. You think that you would love to have the easy answers to all of life’s problems. Just program the computer to make all of the decisions for you. A GPS system that told you where to go, and what to do when you got there. If that was life’s reality, you would be bored. You would feel like you were living in a cage. Every child at some point in their life has said, “You’re not the boss of me!” You would not be happy without the freedom to make your own decisions.
“You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic” – Alice in Wonderland
Have you ever been going somewhere with the GPS system in your car telling you where to go? If you are giong on a long trip and you get off the freeway to eat, take a bio-break, or get fuel for your vehicle, the GPS system goes crazy trying to get you back on the scheduled directions. Reframing is taking our GPS system which is telling us to go from point A to point B and reprogramming it for some additional stops. Places on the map that are invisible but there just the same.
“Stop worrying how it’s going to happen and start believing that it will” – Unknown
“The strongest factor for success is self-esteem: Believing you can do it, believing you deserve it and believing you’ll get it” – Unknown
Have you ever completed a big remodel project? You start out with a plan and design of how everything will be done. You start tearing down the bathroom walls and floor, and you discover that your $10K remodel just changed to a $20K remodel because all of the plumbing is cast iron. The pipes have decayed, rusting away and it all has to be replaced.
“Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined” – Unknown
Your small change just became a major remodel. You now have two choices. You can let fears enter the picture telling you that:
OR you reframe it.
“It’s okay to be a glow stick. Sometimes we have to break before we can shine” – Unknown
That’s what life changes are like. You start out thinking that you want to make a small change in your life. You get started taking down all of things that no longer benefit you in your life. Then the unexpected happens. You discover a pattern you didn’t know existed, (which has behind the scenes) is what has been keeping you from implementing those important life changes.
“Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason it will” – Unknown
What’s important during a period of reframing is to “see” or create a vision of what exactly you want your life to look like. What sort of bathroom floor do you want? What kind of tile for the shower floor? The walls of shower? What kind of lights and fixtures? What kind of vanity? What does your ideal dream bathroom look like? Don’t focus on the plumbing issues. Don’t let the cost overruns overwhelm you. Reset your focus to see the ideal outcome, the end of the project, the finished bathroom.
“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him” – David Brinkley
Reframing looks at what everyone else might see as a series of mistakes and failures and asks the question – what else is possible? You see how to make lemonade from lemons. It shows you a series of lessons, each one building on the other. Taking each of those “bricks” being thrown at you, you can begin building a secure foundation to hold the structure, you are creating outside your comfort zone.
“The only limits you have are the limits you believe” – Wayne Dyer
As a professional procrastinator I will take something that might take anyone else a few hours to do and blow it up into a month long project. First by researching it to death, because you can never have too much knowledge. Then by creating a perfect plan, that is revised a million times, because you can’t have too much attention to the smallest detail. I build up the fear of failure until it creates a bridge to the moon. Then because I can’t hold back time any longer I am pushed to finally do something.
“Life is like the ocean. We can’t control the tide, so we might as well learn to surf” – Unknown
If you are going to learn to surf through your life, how can you learn to catch the perfect wave? What is the perfect wave? Come and take a peak at our next conscious conversation on Zoom.
Turn the tide on mediocrity.
Break free of the riptide of your past.
Start living from a “bucket list” instead of existing with a “to do” list.
Never let fears stop you from pursuing your dreams. Don’t let your fears of what might happen, mean that you don’t make anything happen. Come join us for our next Zoom call. Bring all of those reframing juices to the table and let’s see what we can make.
It’s turning out to be a bad day, a day when the sun feels like teeth.
– Jennifer Egan
Sometimes I have a day where every mistake I made in the past year shows up at my doorstep, all at once. It is overwhelming as they are all vying for my attention. All I hear is the screaming inside my head competing with the screaming happening in the chaos around me. My self-esteem takes a nose dive, as it scrambles away, trying not to get trampled by the growing crowds of people asking if I know what I am doing?
Never underestimate the power of a good outfit on a bad day.
What do you do when you have those days? I decide to make snow angels. If I try to shovel my way out, the snow just keeps falling and in a few minutes I can’t even tell where I was shoveling. It becomes overwhelming and it doesn’t get me out from under the chaos. We all have this habit of assuming the story our head is telling us is 100% true. That we are not smart enough, pretty enough, just plain not enough – just a loser with a big L on our foreheads.
We let the less than 1% of negative overwhelm the more than 99% positive and we start shoveling and digging ourselves in deeper and deeper.
And now, after everything, I know this. There is a reason I am here, and the reason is bigger than me. So I will carry on with great faith beyond what I can see, in pursuit of bold courage for the adventure in the journey.
– Morgan Harper Nichols
When I have those days, I can’t dig myself out. So rather than beating myself up, calling myself names like loser, screw up, worthless and so on, I choose to go a different path. I make snow angels. I give myself a forgiveness pass. I give myself compassion. I acknowledge that I am only human. I love the Christina Perri “Human” song. Sometimes “I crash and I break down”. That is the best time to make snow angels.
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
– Dale Carnegie
I loved the Mark Twain quote where he says that 99% of his worries never happened. So maybe today, what happened was just that it was “the less than 1%” negative day. Statistically they happen. When they do, thinking of what good things the future holds for you is also important. Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet. What milestones are you looking forward to and what can you do today to bring them closer to reality?
When you think things are bad, when you feel sour and blue, when you start to get mad . . , you should do what I do . . , Just tell yourself, Duckie, you’re really quite lucky! Some people are much more . . , oh, ever so much more . . , oh, muchly much-much more unlucky than you!
– Dr Suess
Humor is critically important. Not thinking so much of yourself is vital. We tend to blow up whatever has cascaded in our life into Niagara Falls, when in truth it’s a tiny waterfall in a pond. So when you’re feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there’s someone pushing a door that says pull. Just visually thinking of someone pushing the pull door makes you smile – doesn’t it?
I testify that bad days come to an end, that faith always triumphs, and that heavenly promises are always kept.
– Jeffrey R. Holland
Keep a memory book of your good days. When my kids were little we called them zipity do dah days. The days when you could be in a Disney cartoon movie dancing across the stage with a catchy happy song. These are the days to pull out for emergency purposes. They are like the oxygen masks that drop out of the holder on a plane. You put them on and you can breathe again. You can slow down the panic. You are not dying. It’s just a bad day and it’s not the end. Hold on to those good days and the warm feelings they generate, like a toasty fire they will fill you with warmth and peace. Remember, you are who you choose to be.
When you fall asleep tonight, I want you to think of at least one good thing that has been good today. It might be difficult and you might think that there’s nothing but, however bad a day has been, there’s always one thing, even if it’s a tiny thing, that has been good, and sometimes it can be helpful to remind yourself of that as you fall asleep.
We all tend to let the negative overwhelm the positive in our lives. When we have a bad day, it is important to instead find the positive in the day and let it balance out the negative. It is the proverbial silver lining in the day of thunder and rain storms. Even if it is as simple as someone smiled at us, it is there waiting to be picked up so it can shine its light upon us.
Sometimes you need some time alone (except for the company of a tree or a bird) to sit quietly and try to figure things out.
– Karen Salmansohn
It is amazing how a long walk through nature can help us clear our heads. Keep walking until the negative mind talked has talked itself out. Then you have the space to step outside of the rushing river of pity and see what is really there. Accept where you stepped wrong. Just let the river carry away the things that don’t belong to you. The broken branches, tree roots, and miscellaneous garbage that the storm waters pulled into the water. If it isn’t you today, then let it all go. Now ask yourself, what positive step can I take to fix what can be fixed, apologize for where I was wrong, and let the past stay where it belongs, in the past.
When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace.
This is such a simple statement, but the power and wisdom in it is amazing. If you are letting others shovel snow on you, that is where the first change needs to happen. You need to own your own breath. Once you have accepted responsibility for what part of something is yours, then the rest of it doesn’t belong to you. If you don’t let it go, it steals your peace. It steals your breath, your life. So if any area of your life is not peaceful and conducive to making snow angels, you can decide today to stop. To take back your breath. To hug tightly to your snow angels and embrace peace.
My To-Do List For Today
– count my blessings
– practice kindness
– let go of what I can’t control
– listen to my heart
– be productive yet calm
– just breathe
Demand your inner voice start listening to what is acceptable in terms of the inner you. To actually completely engage in a life of self-exploration, you need to get curious. To ask questions that dig deep into the soul level. To unravel one thread after another. If you want to go beyond the surface of answering these questions, join us in our next “Catching The Perfect Wave” online course. We dive deeply into exploring transformation and listening to our souls voice with weekly group calls to go beyond the simple answers and explore what we all have hiding beneath the surface.
Lack of forgiveness causes almost all of our self-sabotaging behavior.
– Mark Victor Hansen
When I first read this it took me by surprise. I thought but self sabotaging behavior is what I am doing to myself. Why would lack of forgiveness be behind it? So I went to my earliest memory that created the pattern of “it isn’t safe to be seen”. Okay my logical mind threw into my face, how is this created from lack of forgiveness? I had walked into my moms room after I woke up from my nap at 4 yrs old and exposed her adultery. From that experience came the life self-sabotaging pattern “it wasn’t safe to be seen”. Bad things happened according to my 4 yr old little girl, since soon afterwards my parents divorced. What did I have to forgive myself for?
A critical key to achieving success lies in your ability to activate your potential to create the results you seek . . , start by being aware of your self-sabotaging patterns.
– Lauren Mackley
For years I had thought that I was responsible for the divorce. As an adult I finally learned that what caused the divorce was that my mom got pregnant and my dad had gotten a vasectomy, partly because he thought my mom might be betraying him and partly because there were four little girls and he thought that was as big a family as they wanted. So when she got pregnant, it was pretty apparent that he was right. So even though I had wrongly assumed responsibility for the divorce, I knew I wasn’t. So why lack of forgiveness for the continuing pattern of being invisible?
Self-sabotage is the proverbial hammer over the head that finally wakes us up, demanding that we pay attention. For most of us, it takes something devastating to crack us open, to get us out of our minds and into our hearts.
– Debbie Ford
What I discovered as I dug into this thought, was that this had layers and layers of lack of forgiveness. Unfortunately what you will discover when you unwind your own patterns of self sabotage, it that it is never a “one and done” kind of journey. Every single time I think that I have unwound the tangled mess around fear of being seen, a new thread of yarn appears and I am again unwinding some small aspect of this pattern to discover another thought, such as this one. If the pattern is still showing up, then something is still attached waiting for me to find the end of the thread and being unraveling it.
As painful as it is, it’s easier to live in a world of unfulfilled potential than to open yourself up to the possibility you have no potential. It’s easier to tell yourself you “would” have done better if “if” you’d worked harder, than to work your hardest and see what happens. It’s easier to tell yourself you “would” be happier with your body “if” you are healthy, than to eat healthy and see what happens. It’s easier to tell yourself your life “would” be better “if” you woke up early, than to wake up early and see what happens. The fear of failure is worse than failure itself. Be willing to fail so you can see that you probably won’t and if you do, that it’s really not that bad.
– Sam Brown
Entwined within the pattern of “it’s not safe to be seen” is fear of failure. I find fear of failure is like that weed that you can’t get rid of. It sneaks into everything. A lot of people think that fear of failure is simply what it says, the fear to fail. But hidden within that weed is another noxious substance that feeds into my “it’s not safe to be seen”. It is fear of success. The fear that if I am successful it will put me into the spotlight and that spotlight will follow me around like a hidden camera just waiting to expose some defect. It invites attention like the circus barker with the mega phone calling everyone to come under the big tent and watch as Sheryl tries to fly to high on the trapeze and falls to her sudden death. All of those people will sit on the edge of their seats just waiting to find a flaw with my performance. To tell me in detail about my inadequacies. To in short, put me back into the comfort zone never again to explore my hidden potential.
Like most other creatives, I struggle with self-sabotage, self-doubt, and feeling like an imposter more often than not. I struggle with expressing myself, because it does sometimes feel easier or safer not to.
– Jeff Jarvis
Everything is negotiable, you have a right to stand up and say, “this doesn’t work for me”. If you want to make changes in your relationships with friends or family; lay down rules at work to how you are treated; get out of the debt that is ruining your life, or any other situation that has become just too much – you have to do a reality check on yourself. It is an inside job. I know that it sounds like that isn’t the answer, but our self sabotaging patterns set us up to get the same experiences over and over, designed to keep us in our comfort zone. You might think it is the “other” person who is making us miserable. But you have to stand up and start asking for what you want, not what the self sabotaging habits are telling you that you deserve.
This is how women self-sabotage and self-destruct. Unless we have constant witnesses to our hard work, we are convinced we pull off every day of our lives through smoke and mirrors.
– Sarah Ban Breathnach
I spent my entire childhood both trying to be the perfect child, and trying to do whatever my mother was failing to do with my siblings. I became the mom I thought we should have. I was the “one” my mother would constantly tell me she could count on. The hidden message that I had gotten from my mom was that if I was too much trouble, if I made any waves at all, she might divorce me too. She was married five times, so that was my social proof my fear was real.
Your create self confidence by
doing instead of procrastinating.
doing instead of over-planning.
doing instead of self-sabotaging.
doing instead of complaining.
doing instead of feeling sorry for yourself.
One day I decided that wasn’t going to buy into my story anymore. I changed my expectations one inner dialogue at a time. Whenever I felt the spotlight, I turned into it instead of away from it. When I got the criticisms, instead of letting it beat me up, I said “today I am a mirror to their problems and they are finding their own faults in me”. I looked critically at what was said or done (like if the silver spoon had any spots that needed polishing) and thought, ok – “if one thing in this dialogue might be even partly true, what would it be”? Then I would see if I could find that thread in my self sabotaging pattern and work on just unraveling that single thread and let the rest of the editorial go into recycling.
This is a reminder to myself that I don’t have to be negative, or worry, or argue, or self-sabotage.
It’s ok to be happy and to have fun and to just enjoy life.
– Hanna Anerod
I started creating self-confidence and owning who I am, and that who I am is a “perfectly imperfect” person. I will make mistakes. I will have failures. Spellcheck will fail me. My grammar will drive someone crazy. Even though I read through this blog 20 times, it will still have some mistake. And someone who isn’t putting themselves out there like I am, will catch it for me. And I will say thank you, because I still want this to be perfect, even if I’m not. I will grow by stepping outside my comfort zone. I will have huge successes. I continue to worry about loving myself and I will keep letting go of the feeling that everyone else has to love me too or I am not worthy.
At some point in your life you’re going to have to start demanding what you deserve and be willing to walk away if what you require can’t be provided.
= R.H. Sin
Interpret this quote only to how you treat yourself – amazing to put a different spin on something that was written for those outside of you. Demand your inner voice, your patterns, your self-sabotaging habits start listening to what is acceptable in terms of the inner you. To actually completely engage in a life of self-exploration, you need to get curious. To ask questions that dig deep into the soul level. To unravel one thread after another. If you want to go beyond the surface of answering these questions, join us in our next “Catching The Perfect Wave” online course. We dive deeply into exploring transformation and listening to our souls voice with weekly group calls to go beyond the simple answers and explore what we all have hiding beneath the surface.
Open your heart to new adventures.
Finding yourself, who you truly are under all of the masks takes as long as it takes. I started this journey over 20 years ago when my mom passed away. I am still learning new things about myself. I know that really nothing is a “one and done” process. I’ve come to believe at least for myself that it is a life long process. The trick is to be really kind and compassionate to yourself.
If you stumble, make it part of the dance.
You can’t be so afraid of messing up that you are not willing to take a chance on yourself. And when you fall off the bridge and down the ravine, and you will do it many times, it is the realization that each time you climb back up to the bridge, you are growing into your full potential.
Blessed are the curious, for they shall have adventures.
My “go to” for a lot of my life was to feel self doubt so badly about myself, that I was paralyzed into not trying. I decided one day that I just didn’t want to do that anymore. When you decide to live life from a place of curiosity, the risk of failing isn’t such a scary thing. You learn through grace and compassion a new sense of freedom. You begin to understand how freeing it is to fail the first time. You don’t disappear or die from it. And once you have got that initial failure under your belt, you have freed up your imagination to wonder if doing it this way, or that way might result in something totally fun.
Listen to your own voice, your own soul, too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves. Deep inside, you know what you want, let no one decide that for you.
There becomes a point in growing and exposing more and more of oneself that you have to decide if you remain in the new “box” that you have created as a comfort zone or you want to continue to evolve more and more into who you are. You have to decide to continue down the road you recognize or you start down a new path.
Your purpose in life will become clear when you cease looking outside for answers and start listening to the silent and omnipresent voice of the heart.
In all the fairy tales, when the journey starts out the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the path is clear. But at some point in the journey, the path seems like it might even disappear. The darkness starts creeping in and obscuring what can be seen. The sights and sounds take on a sinister aspect. You know the challenge is about to appear. This happens because the inner world is very protective and has learned to hide who and what you are down deep inside. It has become the scary monster under the bed, and you are under the covers hiding so as to not be noticed.
Too many people live too much in the past. The past must be a springboard, not a sofa.
– Harold MacMilan
When you take up your shield of courage, something new and unexpected will catch our eye. Growth happens with change. It requires change. There is something valuable hidden within each of us that is worth unearthing. You might not be able to name what it is, but you can hear its voice calling softly. You have to be willing to challenge and fight the monster under the bed to unearth it. Every day, every hour, we get to decide we are worth the battle to bring it up and expose it to the light. Your soul is hoping and praying that your willing to set it free.
As a flower craves the light of the sun to grow, we desperately need the light of our souls to become who we’re destined to become.
Through our life we have created patterns that we tell ourselves is the path to freedom. Most of the time these patterns are actually chains, shackles or cages. It is a false freedom based on fear of exposing who we really are. It is like throwing a bedspread over dirty blankets or sheets – it looks good from above and we may look like we have our life together, but underneath it is a hot mess. It is a facade of of freedom.
The greatest act of human courage isn’t climbing mountains, conquering countries, or fighting in wars; it is walking into the mysterious abyss of one’s own inner self and truthfully face one’s own pain and tortured Shadow.
True freedom exposes everything up to the light, the good, the bad and the ugly. Recognizing and changing the patterns in our lives is what frees us from the chains we have wrapped around our souls. At any moment we have the power to change our story. Each second we can decide to put the key in the lock of our safe cage and release ourselves to be who we really are.
I’m not weak or a mess. I’m a deeply feeling person in a messy world. It takes strength to face and feel what few other people have the courage to acknowledge.
When you aren’t trying to outrun failure, success takes on a whole new meaning. Fear loses its foothold and instead of being the monster under the bed, it becomes the worn out teddy bear missing part of one ear and both eyes. When we believe that we win, that there is no lose or tie – then the bottom line is that we have expanded our comfort zone. We learned something new and valuable.
The Free Spirit,
The Loner Wolf,
The Black Sheep,
The Eccentric . . ,
These all are synonyms and the people who relate with any of these belong to the same Soul Group.
Failure is just part of the dust that gets into everything when we are walking down the dirt road. Sometimes its like the rock that we need to stop and remove from our shoe. It might slow us down, it might get us really dirty, but it never has to stop us from putting that shoe back on, getting back up and walking down the road again. Success is found on the road as we walk it.
I am willing to embrace the inner trust I have to ensure all I want – is given the opportunity to unfold.
We have to draw a line between all of the connecting points in our life. If we fail to connect all of the points, then we are missing out. We won’t fully comprehend what has happened, what doors of opportunity were opened that we walked by without seeing. We won’t see how the challenges exposed us to growth that wouldn’t have been possible without them. It fully exposes you to the challenge and opportunity of growth in ways that you can’t even imagine if you didn’t walk across the bridge.
If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.
– Lao Tzu
Asking yourself what do I want to do next? What challenge or opportunity is waiting behind the next corner to change and transform my life? To actually completely engage in a life of exploration, curiosity, believe in what else is possible? If you want to go beyond the surface of answering these questions, join us in our next “Catching The Perfect Wave” online course. We dive deeply into exploring transformation and listening to our souls voice with weekly group calls to go beyond the simple answers and explore what we all have hiding beneath the surface.
Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is directly or indirectly where our expectations of life originate. We take a goal and make a plan. We see into the future possibilities. We attach meaning and purpose to a particular way we “see” the goal being accomplished. Imagination is how we come up with the plans in the first place. It is what enables us to make anything possible, anything happen.
The imagination is the golden pathway to everywhere.
– Terence McKenna
One of the danger signs on the road of our imagination is that we project meaning into everything that happens. Now if we are projecting good, positive meanings to what is happening, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, many times what we are projecting is suffering into what is happening. If someone sent you a text message that said, “boy, what a day I am having”. What’s the first thought that comes into your head? Without the emotion in the voice or cues from body language, where does your mind go first – to something great is happening in their day or something horrible is happening to their day?
Reality is something you rise above.
– Liza Minnelli
We need to constantly ask ourselves, what am I busy painting onto the canvas of my imagination? There are no rules to what I decide to paint. If I think that I can only be successful if my view of my current reality is matching to what I imagined my life would look like, then I am going to be doomed to disappointment. How many times have I whined in my head, “but this isn’t how it’s supposed to be?” How can I rise above what I perceive to be my reality, to what I am trying to create in my life?
Imagination is the most marvelous, miraculous, inconceivably powerful force the world has ever known.
– Napoleon Hill
Imagination is what leads to creation. Think of all of the great science fiction writers and their imaginations. Deep sea diving, submarines with Jules Verne. Star Trek and their recorders to our cell phones. Isaac Asimov and self driving cars and the stun gun (taser). H.G. Wells and atomic power. We are so close to being able to print and replace body parts, organ transplants, tricorders for medical diagnosis. To travel to the stars and go beyond our galaxy. All things that have happened and will happen in our futures, because someones imagination said, “what if . . , “.
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is what you need to see that although there may be problems in your life that need to be solved, they are also realities to be lived through. It is the meaning I give to my life that enables me to perceive that I am successful, that I am happy. How I perceive my life to be, is the reality I am creating for myself. The meaning comes from my feelings about what is happening. I can get lost in the maze of what it should be. I can also choose to see life as it truly is and acknowledge that most of the times when I have really grown have been when I was in the middle of some sort of failure. Taking the risk of failing, is really taking the risk that the growth that comes out of that failure is worth the cost of failing.
The world is a canvas for your imagination. You are the painter. There are no rules. Get to work.
There is a beach collage in the movie “The Man of the House” which the mom Sandy, (played by Farrah Fawcett) adds to every time she goes to the beach with the family. All through the movie she is adding a piece to it, until finally she sets a final piece in it and declares it is done. It is highly likely that this collage in her head when she first imagined it and what she actually created are not the same. But who makes the rule that it has to be the same? We do. We are the ones painting on our canvas. We decide what stays there and what gets scraped off and repainted with something new. The rules are created by us and we can change them. Our imagination can reshape the rules, can reshape what is on the canvas, can reshape anything to mirror what we desire to achieve in our life. My perception of my life is what makes up the reality of my life.
The power of imagination makes us infinite.
– John Muir
So what am I focusing on? Is it something that brings my imagination into reality? Because if my reality and my imagination are not even close to being the same, then I need to refocus to make it so. It’s funny how sometimes the way to make that adjustment is to learn to lose how I thought it had to be, in order to find out a better way to live it. It’s a matter of holding onto the vision that imagination has created and trusting the process of trying, failing, learning and trying again.
Live out your imagination, not your history.
– Stephen R. Covey
Raise your eyes to see the possibilities everywhere around you. They are always there. An endless hallway filled with doors waiting for you to step through. As you go through a new door, remember – nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. To be perceived in such a way that it creates the reality that you are searching for. So don’t just sit there. Get up and get busy!
Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.
– Arthur Ashe
Every year I go on several trips to seminars that are usually three – four days each. This year they arrived all at once. One of them I was supposed to go on last year, but my body had other plans (back surgery) and so I was unable to attend. So they transferred me to this event. The second one is part of the coaching plan I am on and I wasn’t able to travel yet with the event last year (on restrictions from said back surgery) and the third event is an annual American Indian Retreat I do every year.
Sometimes, it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.
I go on these journey’s each year to recharge my batteries. To open my mind to new learning. To get away from the everyday life, so I can relax and let come in from the divine the messages I am too busy to hear when I am involved with a fulltime job at the bank as well as running my LemonadeMakers page. When I am out of my element, I see things I am missing at home. I meet new people since I go to most of these events by myself. I get to travel and see what in my life needs to change.
Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.
– John O’Donohue
So no surprise, with attending a four day event (Thursday – Sunday) three weekends in a row in three different states, I woke up to some things in my life. I have always loved trees. It has always seemed to me that they talk to me. They are so relaxed and go with whatever mother nature sends their way. They connect to other trees through the root systems and even send nutrients to other trees far away that need them. Some of the recent scientific studies show they actually create community and support each other. Every home we have purchased it was because of the trees on the property, not the houses that I fell in love with. So imagine my surprise when I realized that lately trees haven’t been talking to me, water has.
The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn’t even think to ask.
– 180 degrees south
When I was at my first event outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico at Tamaya, located on a Pueblo Indian Reservation, they had strong winds blowing. I had opened the door to my hotel room and was listening to the wind, rain and thunder storm. When I closed my eyes and listened I heard the sound not of the wind, but of strong waves breaking against the seashore.
When I flew into Phoenix for my next event, the winds were blowing and I still heard the ocean in the air.
At Joshua Tree in California, I spoke to Chief Roberts and his wife Terri about how I was hearing the ocean everywhere I went. I knew water was calling but I didn’t know why. As one of our outdoor activities we were to walk a labyrinth. As I walked it I was looking down at the rocks that outlined the path. All different kinds of rocks, different minerals and crystals in them. All shapes. They spoke to me about water. How it had loosened them from the soil. How it had carved and shaped them transforming them, exposing them to the elements and revealing what they were deep inside. How sometimes the changes happened rapidly like a landslide and other times it was slowly drip by drip that changed occurred.
Even in my planning for where we are going to live when I retire, water has been showing up. First as I wanted to live in Northern Oregon or Southern Washington along the coast next to the ocean. Then my son sent me a property listing outside of Astoria Oregon on the John Day river for a houseboat. It was like water was saying, if you don’t want the ocean, how about living on the river?
I felt like the mom in the kitchen making dinner and my three year old kept grabbing my pant leg, saying “mommy, mommy” over and over. And I kept saying, in a minute, I’m really busy right now. Water was not letting me get away. It just kept trying to get my attention.
Your journey in life is not set in stone, you can change direction.
– Steven Aitchison
As I traveled round and round the labyrinth I started thinking about when water had started talking to me. How had it been showing up in my life? This winter has been the wettest winter since we have been living in California – the amount of water this season has been comparable to all the water we have gotten the last 10 years or so combined. My patio kept getting flooded over and over again.
Then I thought about how we just redid the logo and website and Facebook page design and it has the ocean with breaking waves on it, whereas before it was the trees in the forest. Then I thought about the webinar video I created and again it was about “Catching The Perfect Wave”. Even right now with my remodeling of the bathroom I just discovered that I have to replace all of the drainage pipes as they used cast iron when the house was built and they are all damaged with rust and corrosion.
In a recent deep meditation class I asked my intuition what I needed to know. I am very visual and it showed me this vision in which I had already given birth and was now expelling the afterbirth. Childbirth has a lot to do with water – LOL. When I looked up the meaning behind this it validated my thoughts that I am in the middle of a big life transition. I have been told for the past 6 months that I am probably going to be laid off from work. I have been preparing for this liquidating our other properties we own, paying off debt and getting everything ready for the possibility.
Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.
– Paulo Coelho
I think that this is why water is showing up for me, Big changes are coming. Everyone I was talking to at all three events were experiencing big changes in their lives. They were all in the midst of some transition in their lives. I am taking a leap of faith in my own transition that it is time for me to devote full time to LemonadeMakers. To finish the online courses I am writing. To find a new publisher for my first three books, that I had ready to print when the company that was doing it sent me an email that they shut their doors. To begin coaching life transformation full time, instead of part time. This is a big risk as I have never been self employed. It is a big risk, because I have no idea where this journey will take me. I just know that water says I have to go.
No one knows what changes, big or small, lie ahead.
One thing is certain, our journey’s not over.
Enjoy each and every step.
So my question for you is this – what is trying to get your attention? What are you ignoring because you are so busy doing, that you are forgetting to take the time to listen?
Take the time to look behind you for signs. Listen to what keeps occurring in your life. See the doors that you walked past not realizing they were there. Realize that you are probably in the midst of a transition yourself. Be brave. Go someplace even if it is simply a walk in the woods and get away from the everyday part of your life. Ask yourself what do I need to know for the next part of my journey.
Come attend our next webinar and explore what we have to offer to take you to a new level of self transformation. Click on the link below to learn more about our next webinar to “Catch the Perfect Wave”.
There comes a time when the desire for transformation demands action. Never let your fears be the deciding factor, of taking that action.
Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts.
– Albert Einstein
This is so important when you are looking at the big dream, because 99% of people will tell you all the reasons why it can’t be done. What Albert Einstein was really saying, is that the big dreams lay outside of the box of rules on how things are done.
People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
We shared a story about a pilot who was born without arms and flies with her feet at the controls. Another story featured a woman born without legs who surfs and skateboards competitively. These two women have big dreams and accomplish them because they believe they can find a way to make it work. They defy the odds. They don’t let missing arms or legs be a limiting factor to their dreams.
More recently on America’s Got Talent there is the wonderful story of a young woman who lost her hearing as a teenager, who writes her own music, plays ukulele and sings beautifully. She spent a few years raging against the world for taking away her dream to be a singer and then figured out a way to do it anyway.
Janine Shepherd is a public speaker and author of several books including “Defiant: A Memoir”. Shepherd had been an aspiring Olympic cross-country skier. She was nearly killed when she was hit by a truck during a training bike ride. Paralyzed and immobile for six months, she was given a grim picture for recovery. Not only did she teach herself to walk again — she learned to fly — becoming an aerobatics pilot. Her TED Talk is: Janine Shepherd: How Can We Redefine Ourselves After A Tragedy? Her story is amazing because she took her story and reformed it to continue to push the edges of her potential, not settling for the Janine Shepherd, disabled story.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company . . . a church . . . a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past . . . we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you . . . we are in charge of our Attitudes.
– Charles R. Swindell
So what are some tools you can use to lasso those big dreams into the barn? One suggestion is to have either a half day or full day block of time to write and brainstorm about the ideas on how to accomplish your dreams.
Another suggestion I read recently was to have what they called “implementation intentions”. We have all heard of intentions being set to bring something into your sphere of influence to assist you with a goal in your life. This is setting an intention with steps to implement the intention into reality. I have done this in my life without realizing what I was doing.
Dreams become reality when intentions turn into actions.
Years ago one of my sons got engaged in the month of February. The wedding date was set for August and my goal was to save enough money to be able to pay for their honeymoon for them. I had it budgeted out and while it was a little tight I knew that I could stretch and make it happen. Then in March they decided to move the wedding to the end of May. I looked at the numbers and I had no idea how I was going to be able to pay for it in less than 60 days.
I sat down and starting writing out how happy I was that I had come up with a way to pay for their honeymoon. I wrote about how wonderful the wedding was and how much they enjoyed their honeymoon. I put ever ounce of energy into the writing, with the words emoting all five senses as I wrote out how they loved Mexico – the sound of the surf, the smell of the flowers, the tastes of the spicy food. I expressed thankfulness and gratitude with every sentence.
After I finished the letter, I still didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I had my intentions pulling in all possibilities. About a week later I received a phone call out of the blue about a property that we have in Upstate New York. We owned a 10 acre parcel next door to our second home free and clear and the neighbors across the street wanted to purchase it for $17,000 and do a fast cash closing. With that money and what I had in savings, the honeymoon was paid for.
Set your intentions, be open to miracles, let go and let God take guided action. Let your dreams unfold like a beautiful flower.
– Anna Taylor
That was a big dream that scared me, because I had no idea when the date changed that I could make it happen. I still am amazed at the timing of how it all worked out. I think that this is how all of the really big dreams happen. We start out with the idea, which becomes a goal, which becomes an implemented intention. We get really specific in our minds as to what happened and leave the hows to the universe, while at the same time, using all of our tools to bring our dreams into reality.
Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams, or wake up and chase them.
There is a Native American saying, “give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.” So dream so big that everyone thinks your crazy. Don’t let yourself or anyone else limit you. The time is now to follow your passions. Lasso that dream and bring in home. The goal is to die with memories, not just dreams of what could have been.
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