New Day, New Chapter

“Not everything has a happy ending, but that’s life.  Just pick up the pieces and move on to the next chapter”  – Unknown

Something tragic happened here.  A bridge was destroyed or a chasm opened up where there used to be solid ground.  Seems to be a great graphic for what the world looks like at the moment.

All kinds of stories and possibilities.  Sounds like some relationships doesn’t it? You meet someone, get to know them.  Start loving and trusting them.  Years may go by with you both the best of friends.  Maybe it is even a sibling or a parent.  Something breaks down in the relationship and everything ends.  It could be gradual or suddenly without warning.  The father cuts off the child because the child isn’t doing what the father wants.  The brother and sister get into an ugly fight, saying unspeakable things as only those who truly know us can.  Years go by without them speaking to each other.  Your best friend cheated with your spouse.

“The moral of this story is that no matter how much we try, no matter how much we want it . . .  some stories just don’t have a happy ending”  – Jodi Picoult

Or this could be the job that you thought you were indispensable at.  You worked long hours – days, nights and weekends spent away from your family.  You poured your heart and soul and even your identity into the job and they fired you or laid you off, or the company shut its doors.  No warning, no idea it was going to happen.  You are devastated.  You feel you are a failure.  You feel like you were used up and then thrown out with the trash.

“There are moments which mark your life.  Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts – before this, and after this”  – Fallen

Or maybe something terrible happens.  Like my sister, your only child is murdered.  The loss of the child ends your marriage and you find yourself lost and alone.  Or maybe it is tragic news for your personal health.  So many possibilities of tragic things that can happen in your life, that leaves you lost, alone, afraid and thinking that your life is over.

“Anyone who tells you to get over it and stop living in the past clearly doesn’t understand the concept of time.  If you’re feeling it now – it’s the present”  – Ranata Suzuki

The thing that all these stories have in common, is that you need to grieve what the loss to you is.  You need to go through the stages of grief for the loss.  You need to work through and let go of the guilt, anger, lost love, loss or betrayal.  It seems that when these things come into your life you get into a fighting mode.  You fight to hold on to what is falling off the edge of the tracks.  Then you fight to let it go before it drags you down into the chasm.

“Grief never ends . . .   But it changes.  It’s a passage, not a place to stay.  Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith . . . It is the price of love” – Unknown

There always comes the day when you feel like you’re actually going to start to live again.  It starts gradually.  You find yourself smiling or laughing.  It might shock you at first.  But gradually the grief lessens, and the joys start coming back into your life.   You become less scared.   You are less terrified that you are so broken that you won’t be whole again.

You start grabbing onto scraps of courage.  You realize that there is a sacredness to tears.  They cleanse your soul.  They speak not only of the grief you are going through, but also of the love you had.  You know that you are turning a corner, when you can hold the grief in one hand and the love in the other.  You realize that you don’t have to pick one.  You realize that when you put your hands together, they are just opposite sides of the same coin.

“The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on.  When you’re faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking” – James Patterson

You realize that you are stumbling through a “dark night of the soul”.  It’s like a natural disaster has hit you.  It tore everything you have built off the foundations.  The wood, the windows, the roof, is in pieces, and they are lying around like someone smashed a popsicle fort.  Like Humpty Dumpty, you feel like you can’t be put back together again.  You realize when the pity party has broken up and all of the revelers have left you alone, is that this is also something wonderful.

Instead of being unhappy with your floor plan; instead of just repainting the same walls and ceilings trying to dress up something you were already unhappy with – you get to rebuild from the foundation up.  You get to build from rock bottom a new solid foundation with the floor plan of your dreams and the best paint colors you can dream up.  You get a “do over” and get to rebuild your life.  You decide, you choose to be the Queen of your own specially designed life.

“One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life.  And with that, she realized the only control she had was how she chose to handle them.  so, she made the decision to survive using courage, humor, and grace.  She was the Queen of her own life and the choice was hers”  – Kathy Kennet

 A new pattern of thoughts

You are using the brain in your head, heart, and root chakra – You listen to you soul’s voice of intuition and seek fulfillment of your life purpose.  You realize that you don’t have to have it all figured out, in order to move forward towards your dreams – just the next step.

A new way of using the emotional vibrational scale 

Stay in positive emotions.  When the negative emotions come up, like a wave riding into the shore, you allow them to dissipate into the sand and be released.  You don’t hold on to them, rather like the foam left behind as the wave withdraws, the negative emotions simply fade away.

A new spiritual connection to the world 

You face yourself and fully accept who you are, a perfectly imperfect person.  A divine child of God.  With a divine commission to fulfill.

A new belief system 

It’s ok to be daring and different, not afraid to live out loud who you really are.  You are a person of integrity towards your life purpose and with imaginative vision you seek to walk your own path in love, trust, and grace.

“Your life will consist of a series of times when you must reinvent yourself.  We desperately cling to the idea that things should stay the same, but life and growth are about change.  Don’t mistake the end of a chapter for the end of the story.  Lean into the plot changes, and follow your character arc.  If you are in a dark part of your tale, know that this night will not last forever, but you must be brave enough to see it through.  This is not the end, oh no my friend.  Take courage, better things await you” – John Mark Green

Find Your Center And You Can Never Be Lost Again

“You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how you’ll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it.  You just use the future to escape the present”  – Unknown

Do you know someone who thinks these immense detailed daydreams?  They can go on for hours telling you how when they win the Lotto they are going to do all of these wonderful things with their life.  It is always “someday” thinking.  Some fantasy of how someone or something will happen in their life, and everything will finally be the way they want it.  I have had this kind of thinking.  Dissatisfied with what life is, you escape into a fantasy of what you want it to be.  Which is fine if it is the beginning of making a change in your life.  But too many times, you just go round and round the labyrinth twisting and turning, but never finding the end.  You feel like you are doing something, but in reality you are lost and going nowhere.

“The point of the maze is to find its center.  The point of a labyrinth is to find your center” – Unknown

When you walk the path of the labyrinth, it is like stepping outside of time.  You leave everything behind you as you take the first step across the threshold.  With each step you can feel more and more stories, emotions, entanglements dropping off your shoulders.  The stresses of trying to work fulltime with a demanding career.  The stresses of personal family crisis’s that wobble as you try to balance them.  They tip this way and that, and keep you doing a running dance step striving for balance.  Work project, home projects, a spouse and children’s needs, making your own personal transformations.  Everything just drops off the shoulders with each new step.

“You are looking for the answers to the questions of life.  Lots of reflecting about what has been and gone.  Looking at the here and the now.  Wondering what is ahead of you.  You are being guided by your own guides.  They will light up your way, and show you the path ahead” – Unknown

Finally you enter the center and sit in contemplation.  You convene with your soul.  You realize that most of these stresses are of your own creation.  You are the one who makes the rules, who sets the boundaries, who creates the vortex they whirl around.  So you can set them down.  You can let them play themselves out.  You don’t have to control them, structure them or mold them.

When you walk back out of the labyrinth, you can pick back up the things you dropped.  What has changed though, is that they are no longer the storm rocking your world.  The sunlight has entered into each and every one, and instead of thunder and lightening, you hear birdsong and crickets.  You feel the warm breeze lightly touching your skin.  You am grounded and centered.  You are recharged and ready to face reality once more.

“The intricacies of life are but common to all; it is how we untangle these twists that paints our individuality in the canvas of destiny.  We can choose to be lost in the labyrinth of our emotions or use these trials to harness our inner strength, but one thing remains constant in our lives, we have the sun in our hands”  – Dodinsky

One of my favorite scenes in the Star Wars saga, is when Luke is about to enter the cave.  He asks Yoda what he will find inside the cave.  Yoda replies, whatever you take in with you.  This is true for all of us.  The labyrinth may have monsters wandering the path.  They would be your own personal monsters that you took with you.  You have fed and watered them until they grew so large, you could no longer control them.  The labyrinth is filled with your desires, memories, fears, and passions.  In them you can find and lose yourself over and over again.  As the proverb says, “The only way out is through”.  Through dangers and hardships unnumbered, the fairy tales tell you how to slay the monsters.  You must figure out how to slay them, or they will destroy you.

“In the labyrinth, one does not lose oneself; in a labyrinth, one finds oneself.  In a labyrinth, one does not encounter the Minotaur; In a labyrinth, one encounters oneself”  – Unknown

Your will is strong.  The only power the monsters have is what you have granted to them.  You can revoke it any time.  Fears are like snowflakes in a snowstorm.  Each snow flake is so small.  But when they are joined by more and more of them, they can soon cover the world with a thick blanket of snow.  They can take visibility to zero in no time at all.  But the cool thing about snowflakes is that it just takes a little heat and they melt away like they never existed.  Every single monster in our labyrinth is like a snowflake.  A little heat and they will all melt into nothing, even the puddle of water will disappear.

“Go on with what your heart tells you, or you will lose all”  – Percy Jackson, The Lightning Thief

There is always the moment when the light shines down.  When the revelation strikes you and you see that all of the journey’s misfortunates have brought you and your dream to this very moment.  The moment of self revelation in which you can choose to follow the dream across the finish line, or to step backwards into the labyrinth and continue to be lost.  The moment of judging and forgiving yourself.  The moment of self love or self hate.

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going.  What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope”  – Thomas Merton

When all you talk about is finding your way out of the labyrinth, but you don’t take the steps to leave it, then it is time to ask yourself:  “What I am afraid I will leave behind me?”  “Why am I afraid to love myself?”  “Why am I afraid to go?”  “What am I afraid to admit to myself?”  The things both done and left undone haunt you.  They must be faced.  The truth hurts, because it matters.  When the pain of staying, finally exceeds the pain of going, you will free yourself.  But if you explore the questions, digging beneath them with curiosity, you can clean up your space and leave without the pain of departure.

” A labyrinth is a symbolic journey . . .  but it is a map we can really walk on, blurring the difference between the map and the world” – Rebecca Solnit

Trust your heart and soul to lead you in the right direction.  Even when you think that left is right, or up is down, trust the journey.  The side roads don’t really lead away from the destination, they provide needed instruction for the journey.  Just remember to use curiosity liberally.  To tone down the emotions, which can get easily out of control.  Have fun.  Explore, adventure, dive deep, climb high.  And don’t forget the questions – they are like umbrellas.  They protect us from the torrential rain, from the beating sun, and from seagull poop – and that is the most important thing ever.   Trust me.

“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again”  – Joseph Campbell

Remember To Fall Asleep With A Dream And To Wake Up With A Purpose

Don’t follow your dreams  . . .  chase them!

  – Kunal Patel

Dreams come preloaded with a guidance system. They know the fastest way to bring themselves into reality.  Give yourself permission to listen to them, to step into who you are meant to be.  As little girls we are taught to play small.  Not to be too much of anything, because it is prideful to draw attention to ourselves.  Nick names such as “Miss Priss”, “Smarty pants” are designed to make us feel even smaller – like who does she think she is?  Little girls who aspire to do jobs in the Stem fields have to fight and work harder, just because “girls are not good at those things”.

Little girls with dreams become women with vision.

  – Unknown

Dreams also come with more than one path. I say this, because the fastest way is “as the crow flies” which means it is usually the harder path to take. Most of us would prefer the shortcut. The Staples “easy button”.  But the “easy” button doesn’t expand our comfort zone.  It doesn’t teach us new things about ourselves.  We don’t get to explore the depths of who we are and what we are capable of.  It isn’t the path to adventure.  The “easy” button is not the way to mastery or to accomplishing any great work.  It is about settling and living life in a rut, just a hamster in a wheel, running fast and going nowhere.  The harder path is over mountains, down steep ravines.  You  have to ford rivers at flood stage.  You trudge through hot dry deserts and lose your bearings in muggy swamps covered with mosquito bites.  The fastest way tests your mind, body and soul.  It builds you up, strengthening muscles in places you didn’t even know you had muscles.  At the end of the day, you may be exhausted, but it is a happy exhausted.  You have proven to yourself what you are truly capable of being and doing.

Follow your dreams even if it means standing alone.  Be different but stay yourself.

  – Unknown

It might be that we are not confident of your ability to take that harder path. I am a huge “Lord of the Rings” fan. When Frodo and Samwise go forward on the journey with just the two of them, they are definitely taking that hard path. I always thought that if the Eagles could rescue them at the end when the lava was coming to kill them, why couldn’t they have dropped them off at the mouth of the cave?  What Frodo and Samwise learned was there was a big difference in setting out on the journey to accomplish your dreams, and actually traveling and experiencing the journey itself.  It stretched them beyond every boundary.  Responsibility, wisdom, self knowledge, self reflection, fears, courage – every word was dismantled, tested in forges of fire, and rebuilt as they took on new meanings.

Everyone has talent.  What’s rare is the courage to follow it to the dark places where it leads.

  – Erica Jong

Clarity of Purpose Is A Magical Gift

“A lack of clarity could put the brakes on any journey to success”  – Steve Maraboli

Okay, I have to confess that this happens to me a lot. I walk into a room to do something specific – maybe I go into the kitchen to grab the dirty dish towels to put in my load of laundry. Then something catches my attention and I think, “Oh, I have to water this plant”. Minutes go by. I have forgotten all about the towels and laundry. I wander into another room with the goal to water another plant, and I get distracted by something else. At the end of the day, I have all of these half finished ideas and projects. Does this happen to anyone else?

Clarity can be hard to come by in today’s busy world. The speed of change is getting faster and faster. How do you slow down to see what is important?

“When you have clarity of intention, the universe conspires with you to make it happen”  – Fabienne Fredrickson

Let your imagination wander to what situation in life would be fun, yet also produce instantaneous clarity? The genie with the proverbial three wishes. There he is waiting for you to say what you want. Can you just feel your mind sorting through every wish list that you have ever created? What would be the three most important things you would wish for? With the genie sitting there waiting for the wishes, nothing would distract you.

“Lets go invent tomorrow instead of worrying about what happened yesterday”  – Steve Jobs

Clarity of purpose is a mighty tool.  The clearer you are about “exactly” what you want, the more your brain will work on how to attract it into your life. The problem is that most of us have “squirrel thinking”. You let the distractions take you out of what you came into the room to do.

“Your dreams are a poetic reflection of your soul’s wishes.  Make this the day you take the first step in the beautiful journey of bringing your dreams to life” – Steve Maraboli

My dog had a squirrel as her nemesis. That squirrel could side line her from anything she was doing. She would be so intent on something in the yard, and the squirrel would climb on the telephone pole and immediately distract her. Her food, her treat, her toy, everything was forgotten for the chance that the squirrel would magically fall down the pole into her waiting paws or jaws as the case may be.

“Breathe.  The universe is taking care of everything else”  – Unknown

What are your squirrels? Mine are exciting new ideas or possibilities. I will be working on a project and a new idea will pop into my mind. Now I am off to research what I can do with it. I am down the rabbit hole and exploring a new universe.

Meanwhile the project I was on is forgotten, half finished and gathering dust bunnies. These half finished projects that you have take up mental space until they are completed.  Have you ever noticed for example when you get one of them finished how uplifted you feel?  This is because the “weight” of the project has been lifted off of your mind.  Pay attention the next time you complete something that your mind or your partner has been nagging at you to get done.  You will feel it.  What can you do to corral your brain, if you don’t have the magic lamp and genie with three wishes captivating your attention?

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper”  – W.B. Yeats

I first heard of this idea at a seminar – it’s called “a parking lot”. Have a folder in which you capture the gist of the idea down on paper and then you put it in the folder, and park it. This way you don’t lose the idea, but are able to go back and keep your focus on what you were doing. That way you don’t get sidetracked from what you are doing.  By capturing it, you can release it for later.  Then on a regular basis you go through the folder. You can prioritize what needs to remain in the parking lot, and what should go on the “to do” list.

Years ago I went to see Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s Estate.  They had a man made pond at the back of the house.  The property runs alongside Potomac River.  One of the things they did for food was fish the river.  As we know, fish bite when they want to, not at your convenience.  So they would bring the fish still alive from the river and put them in the pond.  Then when they wanted fish for dinner, they just had to scoop out what the cook wanted.  That is what your mental parking lot is like.  You park the ideas your mind generates there, and when you are ready for them you can grab them and explore where they go.

“If you’re feeling good, then you’re creating a future that’s on track with your desires.  If you’re feeling bad, you’re creating a future that’s off track with your desires.  As you go about your day, the law of attraction is working in every second.  Everything we think and feel is creating our future.  If you’re worried or in fear, then you’re bringing more of that into your life throughout the day” – Rhonda Byrne

I have put several paper tablets in various rooms of the house. I will go into the room to do a specific thing, and then an idea will pop into my head. I used to think that I had to do that thing now, or I would forget to do it later. Now I can park the idea on the paper tablet, and do the thing I actually came into the room to do. If I am at work I use the note pad on my phone to jot down the idea. It emails the list to me automatically at home, and I can print it or write it down in the folder.

“Magic is believing in yourself.  If you can do that you can make anything happen”  – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If the “squirrel” is a request from someone to attend an event, collaborate on a new project with them etc…, then I try to filter the request through a “time priority sieve” or funnel. What else have I got on my plate that I am already committed to? How much “free time” do I have to commit to this new request? Is this request going to contribute in some way to my current years goals, or will it take needed time away from them? I find that sometimes even though I would love to commit to their request, I have to say “no thank you”. Otherwise the important things I really need to do get pushed aside and my goals don’t get accomplished.

“Each day has a magical moment that helps us to change and sends us out to make our dreams come true”  – Paulo Coelho

Now if the Genie would just pop up and grant me three wishes – or maybe our modern day Genie, “The Lotto” would finally give me some winning numbers.

Be The Change You Want To See

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do.  Fail at it.  Try again. Do better the second time.  The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire.  This is your moment.  Own it”  – Oprah

In order to stand out, one must be different. I have always loved the saying “why fit in when you were born to stand out?” by Dr. Seuss. For me it was really hard to make this change, as I had spent most of my life being invisible.

I love using the analogy of a rainbow. It isn’t just made up of red, yellow, blue, green, pink, and purple. It is made up of 100 of shades of every color, and every mix of color imaginable. Take just the 1,000’s of shade combinations of purple in the rainbow. While you might think that no one will notice if one shade is not shining brightly, the rainbow is diminished in its beauty when that happens. It requires every single shade to be there, in order to be the beautiful promise of God. We require every one of you to shine brightly to deliver the promise of God, which he made when he sent you to this earth.

“Let excellence be your brand . . .  When you are excellent, you become unforgettable.  Doing the right thing, even when nobody knows you’re doing the right thing, will always bring the right thing to you”  – Oprah

At work the panel of lights over about 10 desks in a row for some reason turns itself off and on by itself.  Since we are surrounded by windows you don’t really notice as it slowly fades to the off position.  It does a gradual shut down.  But when it turns back on 20 minutes or so later, you really notice the brightness of the light.  I missed it subconsciously.  It is funny how while I always notice when the lights have turned back on, I don’t notice the gradual turning off.  I think that leadership is like this.  You may be busy doing your work and not notice right away when leadership is missing – but when it shows up, fully turned on, you notice right away.

Be Unstoppable, Create A Living Legacy

“Love is the bridge between you and everything that you desire”  – Rumi

You came into this world to learn, to experience what life is about, and to leave a legacy.  Moral integrity is a huge part of the story of your legacy.

“Your story is the greatest legacy that you will leave to your friends.  It’s the longest lasting legacy you will leave to your heirs” – Steve Saint

Have you seen the Tom Hanks movie, “Bridge of Spies”?  It is based on a true story, taking place after WWII.  I found it very interesting how he was able to stick to what he knew to be right, even when it endangered his life and that of his family. He didn’t just accept the self justification that most would of, “you do what you can, cut your losses and accept what is left”.

“You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved”  – Unknown

Because he was a man of high integrity and morals, he was able to do what no one else could do. He literally was able to move mountains, because of his moral integrity.  While he couldn’t prevent the guilty verdict for his client (he was guilty), he was able to maneuver the judge into a prison sentence instead of the death penalty. Then when his prediction came true about needing him for a future hostage negotiation, he was able to negotiate the return of an American pilot. And when destiny threw in a twist, he negotiated a second hostage return – a two for one, thereby freeing the innocent college student who got caught behind the Berlin Wall.

“Immortality is to live your life doing good things, and leaving your mark behind”  – Brandon Lee

Changing Your Thoughts, Changes Your World

“Much of the pain in life comes from having a life plan that you’ve fallen in love with, and when it doesn’t work out, you become angry that you now have to pursue a new life plan.  If you want to tame your inner demons, you must not become too attached to any particular life plan, and remain open to there being an even better happier life plan”  – Karen Salmansohn

Have you read Brene’ Brown’s book, Rising Strong?  I highly recommend it. In chapter six she talks about boundaries, integrity and generosity. She has this story about saying yes to a speaking job that she didn’t really want to do, but said yes to because they made her feel bad, like she was now too good to speak for them, now that she was famous.

“There will always be a reason why you meet people.  Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs” – Unknown

Then it turned out that she had to share a room with another speaker who was a stranger. Since she already wasn’t wanting to do any of this, of course the person she was sharing a room with drove her crazy.  It seemed like everything she did was specifically designed to upset her.

Now here is where the learning lesson was pretty interesting. When she got back home she went to her therapist about the whole thing because she was in such a rage about it. And the therapist said, “what if she (the other speaker) was doing that best that she could?”

“When you are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” – Viktor E. Frankl

The cover photo is how I see this quote from Wayne Dyer.  You have the two faces of the inner mind.  –  the inner sad face being the judge, with an slender thread of being self righteousness woven into it (you/they are not good enough) and the other face being resentment, (who do you/they think you are?). Neither one of those attitudes will bring you happiness with yourself or others.

“The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself.  The challenge is to silence the  mind” – Unknown

Yet there is a middle ground, the ground of “I am/they are doing the best that I/they can”.

These are the two stories in the chapter that I loved and totally identified with – this first story was about my expectations of others.  I had to learn not to expect others to do the same speed and quality of work that I do. All it did was frustrate me and make me angry, (they aren’t pulling their weight) and I was actually making them feel like they couldn’t do their job correctly, which was never my intention. The lesson from Brene’s book was: “Crap” as one man said, “if he’s really doing the best he can, I’m a total jerk, and I need to stop harassing him and start helping him.”

“Train your mind to see the good in everything.  Positivity is a choice.  The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts” – Marcandangel

The other story was something I came to acknowledge years ago with my own mom. She was one of those women who didn’t know how to deal with children and probably shouldn’t have had any – but she was a great best friend once you were of high school age or older. I just accepted my mom for who she was, the wonderful qualities she had, and stopped trying to force her to be the “TV mom with the perfect home”.

From Brene’ Brown’s book, one woman’s realization with her own mom issues –  “if this was true and my mother was doing the best she can, I would be grief stricken. I’d rather be angry than sad, so it’s easier to believe she’s letting me down on purpose, than to grieve the fact that my mother is never going to be who I need her to be.”

It really is finding a way to change the way you look at something. Shifting your perspective, shifts the meanings you are assuming and assigning to the situation.  It changes everything. When you come from the space that everyone is doing the best they can, there will be times when you get taken advantage of. But you can’t let that tiny minority rule your life.

“Smile despite the circumstances and laugh throughout the pain.  Life is full of hardships but it is how you deal with them that will, in the end, define you” – Unknown

What I know is that my life is better when I hold out the space for you to be the best that you can be. Somehow 99.99% of the people show up as the best that they can be, when I am in that space.

“When we know better, we do better” – Maya Angelou

Mystical Journeys

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware”  – Martin Buber

Native American Wisdom

May the sun bring you new energy by day.  May the moon softly restore you by night.  May the rain wash away your worries.  May the breeze blow new strength into your being.  May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.

  – Apache Blessing

In my family we have a story that has been passed down through the generations.  My great great grandmother was orphaned at a young age.  She was adopted into a family and they decided to immigrate out west on the Oregon Trail.  Somewhere along what is now Wyoming and Idaho, the wagon train was raided and my great great grandmother was taken captive.  The family story only talks about her being a child, but not an age.  She grew up and had two little girls.  One day a French Canadian Trapper was trading with this tribe and spotted her.  Late that evening he snuck back into the Indian camp and was able to get her alone.  He asked if she wanted to return to her people.  She said yes, but she wouldn’t leave without her daughters.  So they made arrangements to meet the next day.

For two days my great grandmother traveled in the back of the wagon hidden in an old barrel.  She was told not to make a sound or they would all be killed.  After two days the trapper felt safe enough to let the girls out of the barrel.  They ended up near Eugene, Oregon.  My grandfather would not admit that he was part Indian.  He was too ashamed.  He feared the prejudice.  By contrast his sisters kids all attended the Indian School.

Like the grasses showing tender faces to each other, thus should we do, for this was the wish of the Grandfathers of the World.

  – Black Elk

My husband family has a story that is recorded in the Indian Archives of his Great Great Grandfather, who was a Cherokee Indian living in Georgia when the Trail of Tears happened.  His story is of an American Indian who married a white woman with the last name of Tisdale.  They had one son.  Love Deer, my husbands ancestor was the sheriff in their town.  He saw what was happening after gold was discovered in the Indians land.  He saw the hardship of the “relocation” of the Indians of his tribe.  He saw finally that no matter how “white” he became it would never be good enough and he knew that the day had finally come when he would be forced to relocate with his family.

Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make for our children.

 –  Sitting Bull

Instead he took his rifle and went out into the woods.  He lodged the rifle in a tree and shot and killed himself.  He knew that his wife’s family would be able to keep her safe if he was gone.  The whole story was recorded when my husbands Great Grandfather came of age and wanted to get his Cherokee Citizenship.  It is all handwritten from several different families, some who were relatives and some who personally knew the story.

As you develop your awareness in nature, you begin to see how we influence all life and how all life influences us.  A key and critical feature for us to know.

  – Tony Ten Fingers

So there came a time when both of us wanted to become more familiar with our heritage.  I always thought that the two of us falling in love with stories from opposite sides of the fence was like the circle being completed.  A time of making everything whole.

By awakening the Native American teachings you come to the realization that the earth is not something simply that you build upon and walk upon and drive upon and take for granted.  It is a living entity.  It has consciousness.

  – Edgar Cayce

I know that this photo is not of an Apache Indian, but it was the closest I could find that fit the prayer.  What my husband and I both discovered is the wisdom of our ancestors was so in tune with the earth.  Whenever one group of people would go to subjugate another, they would justify their wars with how the people were savages, heathens, and somehow a lessor species of mankind.  When you read the stories of Black Elk, and others.  When you read about what the white man did to the Indians in order to destroy them, the term savages takes on a whole new meaning.

When you are inspired to be and do your best, you find everything is right in your world.  Your influence is operating at its highest level and it is the time to influence others in gratitude.

  – Tony Ten Fingers

Just like all peoples, they had very wise men, and they had hot headed men of war.  Every story has my version, your version, and then another and another version to it.  What has to happen at some point in time, is that all become committed to peace.  History can’t be changed.  Those impacted by it are dead.  Those of us who are ancestors carry the history with us.  But that history doesn’t have to become a heavy weight that destroys us still to this day.  It isn’t what the wise men taught.  These are just a few of my favorite quotes, because they are ageless and you would have thought that they belonged to a spiritual master living today. Good wisdom never becomes dated and it is advice we all need to think about for our own lives.

The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of the people when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells the Wakan-Tanka (the Great Spirit), and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.  This is real peace, and the others are but reflections of this.

The second peace is that which is made between two individuals.

The third is that which is made between two nations.

But above all you should understand  that there can never be peace between nations until there is known that true peace, which as I have often said,. is within the souls of men.

  – Black Elk

Warriors are not what you think of as warriors.  The warrior is not someone who fights, because no one has the right to take another life.  The warrior, for us, is one who sacrifices himself for the good of others.  His task is to take care of the elderly, the defenseless, those who can not provide for themselves, and above all, the children, the future of humanity.

  – Sitting Bull

It was our belief that the love of possessions is a weakness to be overcome.  Its appeal is to the material part, and if allowed its way, it will in time disturb one’s spiritual balance.  Therefore, children must early learn the beauty of generosity. They are taught to give what they prize most, that they may taste the happiness of giving.

  – Ohiyesa (Charles Alexander Eastman)

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The Road To Success Is Discovered By Trying One More Time

Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer.

  – Unknown

The mind and the eye are an interesting thing to think about in regards to our dreams.  The eye sees so much more than the mind can allow in.  We all have what is known as a reticular activator which acts as a filter for our brains.  What the eyes sees gets filtered into things that form a picture in our mind or what we are seeing.

Think about certain things that happen in your life.  Two examples might be getting pregnant (you or your significant other) or buying a new car.  When we aren’t getting a new car or pregnant, we are not interested in those things.  Our reticular activator screens that information away from us – because it isn’t something we are paying attention to.

But the minute we are pregnant we start seeing pregnant women everywhere we go.  We didn’t see any yesterday and now today already we have seen five pregnant women.  Same thing with buying that new car.  Driving down the freeway in our new car, we are passing or being passed by people driving a car just like ours.  We go shopping and see two cars just like ours parked in the lot.  Where were they yesterday?  They were there, they were just being filtered out.

Someday everything will all make perfect sense.  So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.

  – Unknown

I bring this up because we tend to make judgments about how things are working out by what we see with our physical eyes and mind.  But they can’t be 100% reliable because of our filtering system.  So sometimes this is why the heart and mind are in disagreement.  The heart isn’t being filtered by what the eyes see.  It sees from a totally different perspective.  It knows the blueprint of our dreams.  It looks only for ways to bring those dreams into reality.  So it makes plans, not on filtered information, but on information imprinted on our heart by God.

The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long.

  – Unknown

I think that a lot of what becomes that one dream that drives us is because of our own life experience.  If we were lonely children, we tend to want to make sure that other children are never lonely.  That could mean that we are teachers, or in some way child advocates.  Maybe we entered the field of being a therapist.  Maybe we adopted children or work as a foster parent.  In some way, our career, our bent in how we live life would grow in such a way that we could help children not be lonely.  Whatever “damage” we feel in our lives, comes out in a compassionate way of helping others never having to suffer the way that we have.

I’m a damaged person, but I have hope and a will to not give up.

  – Juliana Hatfield

Hope is what keeps us going.  Our hope keeps us strong.  There are hills and valleys on every journey.  We have to travel through swamps and deserts.  Hope helps us motivate towards our goal.  When the rains come, the winds blow and the lightning strikes, we may have to take cover and rest until the storm passes, but that doesn’t mean that we are quitting.  We never give up our hope no matter how hard the situation is right now.

A strong person is not the one who doesn’t cry.  A strong person is the one who cries and sheds tears for a moment, then gets up and fights again.

  – Unknown

Sometimes that hope is just a thread, but as long as we act like it is a strong rope we can keep hope alive.  In watching a series called “Home Fires” there is a scene where the parents get that telegram stating that their son has been lost at sea during a battle in WWII.  The wife gets it and because she can’t bear to read it, she hides it in the kitchen.  If she doesn’t see the words, they won’t be true.  The husband finds it and is devastated, and confronts her.  He opens it and reads it and she looks at him with hope in her eyes.  It didn’t say he was dead – it said lost at sea.

Never give up until you’ve given out all your very best.  It’s better to fail trying than wondering what could have happened if you tried . . .

  –  Unknown

 There is a part of us that says, there is no way her son is still alive.  There is another part of us that clings to hope.  That clings to all of the miracle stories we have heard when someone survives something they shouldn’t have survived.  What you have to determine in your heart, is what kind of person do you want to be?  The person that hopes and prays for a miracle, or the person who has no hope.

Keep the faith.  The most amazing things in life tend to happen right at the moment you’re about to give up hope.

  – Unknown

In the past few months we have seen a lot of turmoil in our world.  There may be days when the news stories make you sad, disappointed, heartbroken or even scarred with what seems to be so much hatred being played out in the papers, TV and online.  Remember our reticular activator when everything seems so depressing.  What do we have our filters programed to see?

Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.

  – Camille Pissarro

The kindness that is happening in front of us; that we can find it we look for it online, and in the news.  Or do we have it programmed to find signs of racial hatred, unrest, violence.  The saying is that our life is directed by what we pay attention to.  So we need to make sure that those filters are showing us mankind’s wonderful qualities – they are there.  They just aren’t what sells papers or gets the ratings.  I think that one of the greatest things we could shift in our world is that – the ratings came from stories that reflects the wonderful things that happen around the world on a daily basis.  That we didn’t sensationalize the less than 1% and ignore the 99%.

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Take Every Chance, Drop Every Fear.

“Today I close the door to my past, open the door to my future, take a deep breath and step through to a new life”  – Unknown

You actually do this every single morning.  You may not realize it most mornings.  It is only special mornings that you truly see what is happening.  The first day to a new job.  Your wedding day.  The day a divorce is final.  The day you bury someone you loved.  They are all days when you truly see the door to the past shutting behind you.  And although you may only have a glimpse through this door to the future, you know that everything will be forever changed.

“Your teacher can open the door, but you must enter by yourself” – Chinese Proverb

If you are lucky you have teachers, mentors or coaches throughout your life.  You have them as children, and if you continue to all of secondary education you have them as adults.  But there comes a time when you leave school behind you.  I am mostly self taught.  I dropped out of high school to get married.  My parents never encouraged us to go to college.  They felt that it would take us away from God.  What I did have in my favor was I was smart and I loved learning.  Since I started reading I have read several books a week.  I would alternate between books that took me to a fantasy world where I could solve the murder; or have an adventure in space; or fight the barbarians in medieval times.  And then I would read a book that would teach me something I didn’t know.  I’ve been that way my whole life.

I knew my lack of an education was perceived as a liability (even to my subconscious), so I had to kick open doors to get them to let me show them what I could do.  I also equipped myself by taking a lot of classes online and job related adult education courses, that taught me what I needed to advance in my career.  I started out as a bookkeepers assistant.  I move up to accounting.  I switched over to mortgage financing.  My career has always a series of doors opening to advance up the ladder.  My original goal in school was to be an administrative assistant to someone important.  I went much further than that, I became someone important who had the administrative assistant.

I discovered I had a knack for knowing what to look for in loan applications.  I could see the missing pieces in the story it told.  I could see the incongruencies.  It was almost like a spot light shined on the issue.  I got to where I could almost tell when I picked up a file that there was fraud involved or not.  My gift in seeing where the patterns were broken, has served me well.

“Your life is a result of the choices you make . . .  If you don’t like your life it is time to start making better choices” – Michelle Pennel

When my mother died my whole world fell apart.  All of her lies came spilling out of the closet containing her skeletons.  I found myself in a broken world where I didn’t trust anyone, not even God.  It took me years to close all of those doors to the past.  Years to see that the doors to the future still contained wonderful things for my life.  Years of reading books to explore the possibilities.  Years of  getting certified in Herbal Medicine, as a Reiki Practitioner, and then as a Aroma therapist.  I was looking at a second career in these fields when my nephew was murdered.  Another couple of years went by.  This time I wasn’t mad at the whole world, and I wasn’t even mad at the killer.  I was saddened by our loss, saddened that this world had lost such a special young man, who only wanted to help others have a better life.

“Deep within your soul is a door that opens into a world of wonder.  Open the door and let the magic in” – Unknown

This time I was trying to figure out what was beyond the door that my nephew had opened to me.  I knew from experience that it would require facing fears of the unknown, because every door requires something new and different from you.  Expanding your comfort zone.  Learning that you have so much more potential than you have ever given yourself credit for.  I knew that I would self create obstacles that I would find along the way.  That is how fears work.  But this door was different.  It wasn’t a small round hobbit sized door.  No this door was like the door to the giants house in Jack and the Beanstalk.  When I looked through this door I could barely figure out the table and chairs let alone what else it might contain.  This door was truly scary.

“Follow your bliss . . . , and the universe will open doors where there were only walls”  – Connie Hanks

I knew that creating LemonadeMakers was part of going through this door.  I knew that everything in my life that I had learned, experienced, literally everything I have acquired would be necessary if I walked through this door.  I had a ragged life as a child, I have had some horrible experiences as an adult.  I knew that courage would be required to use and share all of it without exception.  So I wanted to make sure before I walked through, that I wasn’t going to turn tail and run away from this opportunity.  I know from the depths of my soul, that Carl’s death opened this door.  I wanted to make sure that I had the courage and conviction that would be necessary to give to LemonadeMakers.  That I wasn’t going to try, fail, and quit LemonadeMakers.  It felt like I would be dishonoring Carl’s memory in some way if I wasn’t able to be “all in”.

“Most people will go their whole lives and never understand this feeling” – Unknown

So I started writing.  Something that my inner saboteur had kept me from doing all of my life.  I was convinced I didn’t know enough.  That I would only embarrass myself.  I was a high school drop out – that is one of my saboteurs favorite weapons.  I would like to introduce my saboteur Kami to all of you.  She knows all of my weaknesses and pokes holes in the road I travel on.  She has blown up train tracks and bridges.  She has created massive road blocks.  Sometimes it seems like it takes forever to figure out that once again, I have my foot on the gas and brakes at the same time.

When I look back on the very first things I did, it was no more than sharing a quote and a couple of sentences.  But I kept expanding what I was doing.  Then I learned how to work a couple of software programs to create the quotes with the photos.  I created a Facebook page.  My writing kept improving.  I discovered a new gift in finding the perfect photos and quotes to go together.  People started liking things.  They started commenting, then sharing.  Some people told me that my grammar and punctuation wasn’t all that great.  But I kept preserving.  I proofread over and over, but some mistakes still come through.  I learned to believe that it was ok if everything wouldn’t pass an English teachers red pen.  It was my thoughts I was trying to share, and I think that is what is most important.

“Don’t just dream of success; create a plan and act upon it!  Your momentum creates the door upon which opportunity knocks”  – Dr. Steve Maraboli

Join some of your fellow LemonadeMakers as we go through the door of new opportunities.  We have been meeting up once a month with a live Zoom call. It is a huge door of possibility.  The kind of doorway that just keeps growing wider and wider so that all of you can step inside.  When you open doors, you will find all of your fears waiting for you – but you will also find the keys to the treasures of your heart and soul.  I can promise that it will lead you to somewhere you didn’t even know existed.  The real you!

It is a free call where we open doors to discuss whatever is top of mind.  If you have been encouraged by any of my posts – If you have been moved to make a change or transform something in your life, I hope that you will attend.  Everyone is contributing with some great groundbreaking thoughts and ideas.  When we have created a good foundation, we will look at new and deeper ways that you will be able to work with us directly in your own growth.

This will be a  door that no one can shut on you – only you can shut this door.  I hope you will walk through this door with us, because we have some transformations to get done!

Each Brushstroke Is Another Goal Put Into Action – Turning The Invisible, Visible.

“Make your life a masterpiece; imagine no limitations on what you can be, have or do”  – Brian Tracy

As you go through life, you are given glimpses through open doors of opportunities.  Most of the time you pass them by.  But once in awhile there is a door that grabs you.  It stirs your curiosity.  What would it be like to accomplish this dream, you wonder?  Like a blank canvas, with a range of colors on the palette it calls to use to use this color.  Try this one next.  What is critical at this point is to not overthink it.  That will ruin the painting.  You will get stuck with writers block if you question what the soul is whispering to you.  Instead you just need to challenge yourself to step into the room.  One step at a time you slowly step over to the easel.  You pick up the paint brush and start painting with the one color that grabs your attention.

“Make your life a masterpiece:  Step beyond the demands of the moment and begin right now to design and live the life you deserve”  – Tony Robbins

As you look at the canvas you might decide that you want a color that has a pinkish purple flavor to it.  When you look at your palette, you find two colors that sort of call out to you.  Two competing dreams as it were.  Which one do you pick?  Pick the one that is bolder in color.  The one that scares you a little to use it.  What will people think when they look at your painting?  Will they say it is too wild?  Too garish looking?  Pick the one that scares you.  It is the one that is going to grow you.  Always go for the scary colors.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream”  – C.S. Lewis

Now how are you approaching this canvas?  I always think of the eccentric Frenchman artist type.  All wild colors, nothing matching.  All flair and panache.  When you step into a dream which is going to challenge you, you will need that flair of enthusiasm.  Think of the Martin Short character in “Father of the Bride”.  He was so enthusiastic that he could talk you into saying yes to something that you would have never tried.  And the amazing part of it, is that his taste was perfect.  You might have thought it was too much, but in fact it is just right.

“Some people will always throw stones in your path.  It depends on you what you make with them.  Wall or Bridge?  Remember you are the architect of your life . . . ”  – Unknown

“Live life fully while you’re here.  Experience everything.  Take care of yourself and your friends.  Have fun, be crazy, be weird.  Go out and screw up!  You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process.  Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes:  find the cause of your problem and eliminate it.  Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human”  – Anthony Robbins

“I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve.  This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent.  As simplistic as this may sound, it is still the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live in regret”  – Anthony Robbins