“True North” Is Calling Me Home

 

Knowing my True North gives me courage to focus my energy where I believe it should be, not according to what is popular or pleasing to others – Jennifer Cummings

There are times when you feel drawn by something that you can’t quite name. It’s a whisper in your ears, a tug in your heart. You feel it pulling you towards “true north” or home. You may not understand it, but you know that you have to go there. When you are searching for your place in this life, you are looking for your soul’s home.

Your interior compass may seem to be spinning in all directions. You no longer have an interest in looking backwards. You just don’t know what direction to take.

Coincidence doesn’t exist and goosebumps never lie.  Your body already knows the answer.  All you have to do is turn down your spinning mind and continue to follow all signs.  Because you are always worthy of becoming your best and most actualized self – Victoria Erickson

When you are at one of life’s transitions and trying to re-imagine a new life for yourself – that is when you need others. You can help each other to find the way to your own souls’ home.

You don’t throw limited beliefs into each other’s faces.  You help to end the wobble in each other’s compass, so you can each find your own true north.  These kinds of friends celebrate you living your own truth, your divine destiny.  Sharing a path with such a person is a sacred gift.

The path to home is found in only in the direction of the winds of change.  The storms of life are by design to help you change.  They don’t happen to you; they happen for you.  Recognize change when it comes upon you, learn what it has to teach you, and always keep your compass on your own True North.

We are not retreating – we are advancing in another direction – Douglas MacArthur

How much you go through in these storms is determined by the attitude you have, by the actions you take, and how well you are listening and paying attention to what is happening.  I think that the meaning you give to things has a large part to play in how you advance.

Are you retreating or advancing in a new direction?  One view indicates failure, and one view indicates resilience.

The more clarity you take in, the less damage the storm brings with it, as you go through it.

It is always your choice of having a breakdown or a breakthrough.

You don’t have to get lost drifting in the “good old days” feeling sorry for yourself.  You don’t try to avoid the truths that the storm reveals to you by using drugs or alcohol or sex to escape it.  You cannot become who you wish to be, if you don’t push forward and leave the past behind you.

When you focus too much on your past, you give away your power in the present and the future.

Goals are my north star.  My compass.  The map that guides me along the road I wish to travel.  Goals are motivations with wind in their sails, they carry me forward despite the storms – Richelle Goodrich

LemonadeMakers don’t wait for the world to change into a better place.  They change themselves, guided by their journey to their own True North.

LemonadeMakers are driven by the passion they have in life, to do and be extraordinary.  As each individual, upon each individual changes, the world changes with them.  It may not happen overnight, and it may not happen as fast as you want it to happen.  But it will happen.

LemonadeMakers are all just walking each other home. Home is not where you were born.  It is not your current place of residence.

It is a place that you find deep within yourself.  It is that space in your heart, where your soul resides.  It is the place where you discover your true self.

And if the sun is too hot, or the rain is a down pouring torrent, or the snow becomes a blizzard, then we can be each a shelter for each other, until the path home becomes clear again.

Knowing my true north gives me the courage to focus my energy where I believe it should be, not according to what is popular or pleasing to others – Jennifer Cummings

Love Is The Master Key To Happiness

Love yourself.  Forgive yourself.  Be true to yourself.  How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others treat you.

  – Steve Maraboli

Years ago I worked for a mortgage company in the Seattle, WA area.  When I interviewed for a loan processor position, the branch manager told me that I shouldn’t take the job if swearing bothered me, as everyone in her office swore.  I am good at tuning out what I don’t want to hear, so I went ahead and accepted the position. 

I had been on the job just a month or two when one of the other employees in the branch came up to me with a question.  She wanted to know what I had said to everyone that made them not swear when I was part of the conversation.  I told her that I hadn’t even realized that they didn’t swear when they spoke to me, and that I hadn’t told them anything.  She wanted to know why they were treating her different than they treated me.  I told her something like the above quote.  We subconsciously tell people how to treat us.  If she wasn’t being treated how she wanted to be, then she needed to look inside of herself to determine what needed to be changed.

Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy.

  – Unknown

I think that the hardest part about giving and receiving love is that it puts us at risk of being hurt.  We worry about whether this new being in our lives will hurt us, if we open our hearts up to giving and receiving love. 

Faith ends where worry begins, and worry ends where faith begins.

  –  George Mueller

My father (stepfather) married my mother, and took on six girls ranging in ages from newborn to 9 yrs old (I was the 9 yr old).  Not one time in over 49 yrs has the word “stepdaughter” ever come out of his mouth.  Every time it has been “my daughter”.  My parents went on to have one more child, my brother, who is my dads only “blood” child.  My brother and my dad have a rocky relationship.  What so many of us had a hard time with, is that we want people to behave in a certain way.  We want a mother, father, spouse, brother or sister, to say or do certain things, and when they fall short of our expectations, we create trauma around it. 

When you love someone, you love the whole person just as he or she is, and not as you would like them to be.

  –  Leo Tolstoy

My mom passed away over 20 yrs ago, and our dad has been living with my husband and I for the past 11 years.  A couple of years ago, my brother and I had a long talk about his dad, and why I maintained our relationship after our mother died. With those that we love in our lives, our close friends and relatives, it can be easy to look at their faults.  To see all of the “dirt” in their lives.  Those faults pop up like neon lights blinking and blinking, “look here”, but there are also hidden nuggets of gold laying alongside each fault line.

None of us can be the perfect parent, son, daughter, sister, brother, or spouse.  It has meant a lot to me that “step” never came before daughter.  He has other well hidden (LOL) nuggets of gold, and he has his share of dirt, just like every one of us.  We need to adjust our “glasses” to see others through the filters of gold, instead of just neon signs of dirt. 

At the same time, we can’t live our own lives trying to live up to the expectations of others. 

Stop seeing yourself through the eyes of others.  You will never be able to live up to their expectations, and it will leave you feeling broken and insecure… Rather see yourself as the beautiful soul God made you to be, and know he made you to do great things.

  –  Karen Kastyla

Have your ever looked at yourself through the “fun house” mirrors at a fair?  They distort your shape, making you tall, small, thin, fat.  Some of them distort just a portion of your body and others the entire body.  When we try to live our lives for others, we distort ourselves creating a fun house mirror – we don’t see us, we just see the distortion. 

This is your own journey.  Don’t let others define it for you.  You shape the path of your journey through your effort, hard work, love, aspirations, dreams and always your pure intention.

  –  Abira Mukherjee

When I look at this photo, I see love on both the mans and the cats faces.  The cat doesn’t expect the man to act like another cat.  The man doesn’t expect the cat to be a dog.  They see the nuggets of gold in each other.  Their love is apparent.  They may not live up to 100% of the expectations.  And that failure to live up to expectations, doesn’t mean that they damn up their love behind a concrete barrier, demanding that the other behave a certain way. 

I know that my cats expect breakfast each morning the minute my feet hit the bedroom floor.  Since during the week I get up at 5 AM, on Saturday, Sunday, and any holidays, they still expect breakfast at 5 AM.  They seem to live with the disappointment (although they can be quite demanding and noisy about it – LOL).   They still rub up against me purring.  They still hop in my lap and try to type on the keyboard when I am busy.  I still pet them, feed them, and cuddle them.  I know that I will have to remove at least one cat every time I sit down at the keyboard to compose one of these posts.  I accept their need to interrupt me when I am not paying them enough attention, and they accept that I am eventually going to shut them out of the office so I can finish my post without kitty paws typing. (I blame all spelling errors on my cats!).

In the end nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter as much as the way we have loved one another.

  –  Daphne Rose Kingma

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I Can Because I Am Limitless. I Am Because I Know No Boundaries

Have you ever had a healing crisis? A healing crisis isn’t just a health related crisis. It can be healing any part of our life that just isn’t working out the way we know that it should.

Nothing has transformed my life more than listening to what needed to be heard.

  – Jeffrey Shaw 

Years ago, when I was first working in the financial industry I had just received a huge promotion. I was really working hard, and for some reason, the different aspects of the job were just not working out right. I finally had a long talk with my boss, and following her advice I turned things around. I knew that I was perfectly capable of doing the job, but I just couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working. I think that at different shifting points in our lives we run up against this road block. We need a different set of eyes to see what needs to be seen. To see what needs to be transformed.

If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks.  I’ve had them; everybody has had them.  But obstacles don’t  have to stop you.  If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up.  Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

  – Michael Jordan

Do you know why Michael Jordan was so successful?  This quote gives us a clue.  He didn’t reach a roadblock and say, “oh well, I guess I am not talented enough to do this”; or “oh well, I guess this dream was just too big for me to accomplish”.  No, he practiced until he was able to break it down.   He worked with coaches who were able to help him see what he couldn’t see.

Remember that your greatest talent is so much more powerful than your biggest fear.

  – Unknown

There comes a time when we need to take a calculated risk. If you look at the game of baseball it really speaks to calculated risk. The player who is on first base, will watch the pitcher, the batter, and outfielders to gauge how far off the base he can go without getting caught. If he gauges it correctly, he can steal a base, or even make it to 3rd base with an infield hit from the batter because of getting the head start.

I think sometimes you forget that you were born to be awesome.  (here’s your reminder)

  – Unknown

In our lives, if we risk nothing, we get nothing. In personal transformation, we need to take calculated risks. In our life of personal growth, in order to grow we have to take our foot off the safe “base” we are on. We need to risk opening the chrysalis with the hope that we have finished our transformation, and the wings are ready to fly.

Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.

   – Ronnie Max Oldham

This really is the only way to live your life. Not putting off things until we think it is safe. Really opening our hearts completely in how we care about others. To understand that the reality is that almost anything is possible. Whatever is currently stumping you, just means that you are not asking the right questions, or the right people for help.

Our thoughts are very powerful. When we focus on what we lack, we create blockages and limitations. We become imprisoned by the vibration of our negative energy.

  – Randi G Fine

In other words if we think that we can’t we will be a self fulfilling prophecy.

If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.

  – Henry Ford

I find myself doing this sometimes. I stress about not having enough time and sure enough, unforeseen stuff starts filling up my life. Then I catch myself, and unlock the door to that cage, freeing myself and all of a sudden, the stuff just starts going away and I have my time back to do what needs to be done.

Remember, the moment you accept total responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you claim the power to change anything in your life.

  – Hal Elrod

So if you find yourself in any sort of “healing crisis” at the moment, just take some time to meditate as to how you just lost yourself in the woods. Transform the path by backing up or regrouping. Get back on the path that you were traveling.

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.  You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain.  When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.  That’s what the storm’s all about.

  – Haruki Murakami

This is another critical piece of the transformation puzzle, in really getting to know oneself. 

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Strong Women Stand In The Storm And Adjust Their Sails

Let go of what you thought life was all about.  Let go of your expectations of life and people.  Let go of holding on to something so hard that you become brittle, hard, and breakable.  Let go, so that you can move forward.  Be a once in a lifetime kind of woman, build a castle with all of the bricks that others throw at you.  When women are connected and collaborate together, they are the most transformational force on our world.  Probably in our universe.  When you have your whole tribe behind you, you are fearless, because you know that they have your back.

A woman is like a tea bag.  You never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.

  – Eleanor Roosevelt

Have you ever watched someone who isn’t the type of look that is considered beautiful?  Someone who is so confident and centered in who they are, that they radiate something beyond beautiful.  It is like you can’t not look at them.  They are so comfortable being overweight, or too short, or boyish looking – whatever isn’t considered by the masses to be like a model.  Even so they show us the true essence of beauty.

Embracing your true self radiates a natural beauty that cannot be diluted or ignored.  Confident, powerful, untamable, badass you!

  – Dr. Steve Maraboli

Life tests all of us.  We all get some lemons in our life.  Each time we make lemonade from those lemons we rise up.  We become stronger.  And what is so important to remember is that we are ALWAYS strong enough, even when we think we aren’t.  This is what the whole “make lemonade out of lemons” is all about. 

There is a purpose in each lemon that life gives us.  It is to help us reach back to that dream we had when we were a little girl.  To fulfill that promise that you made to yourself that when you grew up, you were going to . . . , whatever that fill in the blank is.  Don’t disappoint that little girl.  Go out there and create the fulfillment of that dream.  There are thousands of other little girls who are looking for inspiration and encouragement, that they too can fulfill their dreams.  Be brave and be that woman!  Be an empowered woman with vision.  Give to yourself the grace to achieve what you set out to do, and self awareness to do it with a soft heart and honest open arms.

Ask for what you want, and be prepared to get it.  

  –  Maya Angelou

It is better to have a heart without words, unable to express what is crying to come out, than to offer words without the hearts emotion contained within them.  Prayer is a longing of the soul to be expressed in a way, that mere words cannot but fail to express.  The heart speaks to the soul, and it listens to what the soul has to say.  This is the birth of inspiration, the breath of life itself.  Hold on to the vision in your heart.  Trust the process, life’s lemons, in order to bring that vision into reality.

We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.

  – Kavita Ramdas

I heard the expression today of “The Moon Shot”.  What it was referencing was the attitude that was displayed when President Kennedy said that we were going to the moon.  No one had any idea how to do it, but he energized the nation to figure out a way to do it.  Give your life a “Moon Shot” experience.  Shoot for something that you have never done, or don’t even think is possible for your to do.  Give it everything you have to bring that moon shot vision into your own reality.  Believe.  Act as if.  Live like you have already accomplished it.

I am not what has happened to me.  I am what I choose to become.

  – Carl Jung

As you move down the path of creating your own Moon Shot experience, forgive yourself whenever what you are trying doesn’t work.  Forgive others when they don’t believe in you, and even when they try to stop you.  Forgive God whenever you hit the frustration button and start blaming him, bemoaning your life experience.  Forgive any situations that create heartache, anger, and bitterness in your life.  Forgive yourself for not being, or doing something different.  Let all of the anger, fear, frustration – all of the negative emotions that you have been carrying around, flow free from your heart and soul.  Stop giving failure a negative meaning.  Realize that when you turn that lemon into lemonade, the experience becomes a powerful blessing to you and others.

There is no force equal to a woman determined to rise.

  – W.E.B. Dubois

Self awareness is an amazing gift that we can give to ourselves.  Take notice of what shows up in your life.  Who and what you are attracting into your life.  There is a map inside of you, that tells you where you are, and where you are going.  But you have to be self aware to read it.  Otherwise, it is like listening to six people talk at once, each one in a foreign language.  You know they are saying something important, but you can’t make head or tails of it.  Self awareness is necessary to move the mountains in our life.  Self awareness is what makes life’s journey a full on mountain climbing experience. 

I know it’s hard to women to tap into that feeling of self-worth.  We need to get the message out that you are valued, your are a goddess and don’t forget that.

  – Jennifer Lopez

Don’t let anyone tell you it can’t be done.  That you aren’t capable of doing it.  Don’t hide yourself.  Don’t demean yourself.  Don’t let anyone or anything get in your way.  Claw your way up and out, fight for what you believe in, for your dreams and visions.  Choose your battles and don’t give up.  Be the strong, powerful, confident, driven woman that you are.

I believe I’ve always been a big believer in equality.  No one has ever been able to tell me I couldn’t do something because I was a girl.

  – Anne Hathaway

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Don’t Wait, Do It Now

Hopefully I am not the only one that this happens to.  On my commute to work and back to home, my brain is so busy detailing everything I have to do – both at work and at home.  The minute I step into my office or my home, that list magically hides itself.  I forgot most of what I have to do, being busy doing so many other things.  Then the minute my head hits the pillow, the list reappears as a list of everything that I didn’t get done.  Does anyone else go through this?

Why is taking action so hard?  We have these dreams, passions around our life.  The space between a dream and reality is where all of the action has to take place.  We want whatever the dream is.  We talk about it all of the time.  “Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take the action.  Take the actions and your feelings will change”  Barbara Baron. 

We tend to put off the hard parts.  The parts where we aren’t sure what to do.  I do it everyday.  Put off the conversation I don’t want to have with a friend, relative or co-worker.  Put off studying for a test because I am afraid of failing it.  Not asking for what I want, because what if they say no?  I am sure that this list could go on forever.  The key is to just take a first step, then one more.  Don’t look at the whole mountain that needs to be climbed, just look at the next few steps.

I always think about physical workouts here.  If you are on a treadmill, and your goal is five miles.  You start to get worn out and out of breath on mile three.  Those next two miles seems like impossible.  Seems like forever.  Seems like Mount Everest.  Seems like you can’t do it.  But here is where a little stubbornness comes in handy.  You just tell yourself five more minutes, and you take the next step and the next step, and before you know it, that fifth mile is done.  Be proud of every next step, not just the one that puts you over the goal.

“We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”  Aristotle.  It is important that these lists are not just a grocery list or a laundry list.  Things that take up time and space, but are not really taking a step.  That is the first step of procrastination.  What I call the shiny object or squirrel.  Have you seen the cartoon, where the dog is doing or saying something, then shouts squirrel and takes off right in the middle of it?  That is a squirrel.  I come into my office to write this blog post.  Then I see some mail that I forgot to take care of yesterday and so I do that.  Then an email comes in, so I read that.  Then I think of something I wanted to research and I do that.  Two hours later, I haven’t written a single word of the post I came in to write.  That is chasing the squirrel.  I didn’t really take a single step toward writing that post, and now my time is gone.

The best that we can do is to promise ourselves to be better and do better.  The best that we can do is to keep trying, putting one foot in front of the other.  To ask ourselves, what is the most important thing I can do right this moment to take that next step, and then just take it.  Don’t wait for permission.  Don’t wait for the perfect moment.  Don’t wait for anything, just take that next step.  We might fall down.  We might get hurt or do what we later judge to be the wrong thing.  It doesn’t in the big picture matter.  What matters is that we took what we saw to be the next step.  The funny thing about life, is that those steps that we judged to be wrong, are usually the steps that give us what we need for a future step.  So that, in the long run, none of the steps were really wrong.

“I promise myself,

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me”

Christian D. Larson

Perspective Is A Powerful Gift

” If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it” ~Mary Engelbreit

It is really all about the words and the meanings that you assign to them. That is because words tell the story, and the story is what is perceived to be the truth. When in fact the truth is always just your perspective, “your” side of the story.

The only way to have the “whole truth”, is to be able to tell the story from multiple points of view. The marriage of those points of view is probably the closest that you can ever come to the “whole truth”. 

Does your story say that roses have thorns, or that thorns have roses?  It all depends on your perspective.  Both statements are true, even though it might seem contradictory.

“We don’t see things are they are.  We see them as we are” – Anis Nin

Perspective is from Latin perspectus “clearly perceived,” and is a way of regarding situations, facts, etc… and judging their relative importance.  It is something that changes in our lives as your lives change.  The perspective you have about something gets altered by life, by your own changes.  It gets altered by time. 

Have you ever had something happen to you, that at the time you viewed as the end of your world?  Something that you defined as “the worst day of your life”.  Then as the occurrence plays out over time, you do a 180-degree shift on your interpretation of the event. 

Say that you have planned the ultimate vacation, going on a cruise ship across the ocean.  Then at the last second you couldn’t go.  You are devastated. 

What if your once in a lifetime vacation was on the Titanic?  Now, whatever happened to keep you from your vacation possibly saved your life.  Now it might have shifted from the worst day.  It might now be the luckiest day.

“What you see depends not only on what you look at, but also, on where you look from” – James Deacon

You have this habit of judging yourself and others by how you respond to things in life.  You have this idea that emotions have some sort of timetable to them.  That things such as a death in the family should have a mourning time of no more than one year.  A job loss, a week or two.  A divorce should be over in six months.  And so on.  If you process it quicker, you must not have depth of feelings.  Longer, then you need to learn to let it go.  These are all just arbitrary perspectives.

I was reading a story about a mom that had lost her daughter to sudden infant death syndrome.  She was currently working with her third therapist in seven months.  She wanted to know what was wrong with her, that even though she was wearing a mask to the outside world that she was moving on in her life, she felt that she must be doing the “grief” wrong because inside she was still hurting so much.

The therapist used words that transformed how she was viewing her grief. She said you are just very sad.  The depth of your sadness is simply a measure of how much you loved your daughter.

This viewpoint of “how deeply she loved her daughter” allowed her to express the overwhelming grief, instead of bottling it all up because “seven months” had passed.  In fact, it was the bottling it up, that was not allowing the emotions to pass through.

“You have the capability to change your life all with a simple shift in perspective” – Demi Lovato

You shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed of expressing your genuine feelings.   Stories allow you the space to heal the pain.  Once you have healed the pain, perspective helps you to stop being a victim.

Life isn’t always fair, and no one should lose a child, no matter their age. But it happens.  Sometimes the best thing you can do, is to not obsess about how things are.  Instead take a deep breath in faith, that everything will work itself out for the best.

“People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for” – To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

Every day if you look for it, you can see evidence of injustice happening all over the world. It is easy to get lost in the emotions created when it happens to you or to someone you love. You see evidence of it in the news, when the world erupts in moral outrage over terrorists’ bombings, the use of a truck to run down crowds of people, or the kidnapping of the schoolgirls in Nigeria. 

Between 276 – 329 girls were kidnapped (depending on news sources) in 2014 and even though many years have passed and some of them have been released, many are still missing.  Yet the world went largely silent two years later.

You have large and small things that happen to you personally.  Your friends and family can negatively impact on your life. But hidden in the heartache and challenges are golden nuggets that are the gift of the trials and tribulations that you experience. It is all about perspective. 

It is about not only what you look at with the experience, but also where you are looking from, a point of view. Every experience has something to offer you. When my nephew was murdered, and my sister’s nonprofit that she started failed, that could have been the end of it.

But I didn’t want that to be the end of my nephew’s story. So, I created LemonadeMakers.  I want to help the small community nonprofits be more successful. I want to help encourage people to use transformation to make positive changes in their lives.  I use my writing to do this, and I am constantly looking for ways to take it one more step.

I believe with all of my heart that this is what my life has been leading me to. To this moment, to create this business to help everyone who wants to make a difference in their lives and in the world to do so.  Out of the pain of injustice, loss, and deep mourning came something good.

“My desire is to stand by the fire that burns inside of you” –Martina McBride

The smallest change in perspective can change a life. See life with new eyes and look for the gift. Pull out the telescope (big picture) or binoculars (detailed picture) and peer deep inside yourself. Dig deep and find the gold of the experience. Change the story and realize just how blessed you are.  Do your roses have thorns, or your thorns have roses?   Do you see weeds or wishes? 

“Don’t think that you’ve lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is the right time” – Asha Tyson

Now is the right time to let go of what can’t be changed and live the life that the divine has put before us, with happiness, gratitude and grace. 

Serenity Prayer For Laughter

“Through humor you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers.  And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be you can survive it.”  Unknown.  Humor is definitely a survival tool.  But it can also be a thriving tool.  I love finding the humor of a situation.

20+ years ago, my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.  A nine centimeter tumor was attached to one lung, wrapped around her main aorta and attached to the other lung.  No operations could help her.  The radiation was able to slow it down, and buy her one year.  The last two and one-half months, my aunt, her best friend and myself formed a team of taking care of her 24/7 because she had become bedridden.  We are a funny bunch and so we found these t-shirts at the Hallmark store and wore them all of the time.  Our reason was to break up the tension that would form when our friends and relative came by to visit and basically pay their last respects. 

When they would visit they never knew what to say, so they would ask her how she was doing.  She was dying of cancer, how do you answer that question?  My mom didn’t want to talk about her pain, as she didn’t want to bring the energy down.  She wanted to share fun memories, and find something to laugh about.  So that is what we did, we found the humor in dying of lung cancer.  I am sure that some thought that we were strange, but what it did was to give me a wonderful gift.  I had the privilege of making my mom happy, right up to the end.  I discovered the true meaning of finding the gold in any situation.  I really was fine.

Every time you find humor in a situation, you win at life.  Reality has unintended humor laced throughout it.  It is up to us to find the thread and pull it.  “I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.”  Frank A Clark.  Life is really made up of small things, tiny moments.  That was my big discovery in taking care of my mom.  Those tiny moments can be saved.  Then you pull them out when you need them.  A touch, a smile, laughter.  Laughter that is so hard that it actually hurts your stomach.  The kind of memories that even now you giggle over.

Think of those movies that make you laugh.  Martin Short in Pure Luck.  The Pink Panther movies.  T.V shows like Fawlty Towers with John Cleese.  The kind of shows that you have watched so many times, that you start laughing before the scene actually starts.  Don Knotts and Tim Conway in any movie they made.  The Carol Burnett Show.  These are all my list.  What’s on yours?

So  my encouragement to everyone is to look for the humor, laugh at life.  Laugh at yourself.  Experience life as it is meant to be lived.  Write your own story like Martin Short, Bill Murray, or Steve Martin is going to be producing and acting in your life as a movie.  Live your life like it is your favorite story from childhood – the one that you read over and over again.  I have read The Lord of The Rings series so many times.  I am riding across the plains with Gandalf, fighting the battles and winning the victory.  I mourn the losses and I get right back on the horse to ride forth again and again.  It is the journey that tells me who I am and who I am becoming.

The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski

“Your life is your life

Don’t let it be clubbed into dark submission

Be on the watch

There are ways out

There is a light somewhere

It may not be much light but

It beats the darkness

Be on the watch

The gods will offer you chances

Know them

Take them

You can’t beat death but

You can beat death in life.  Sometimes

And the more often you learn to do it

The more light there will be

Your life is your life

Know it while you have it

Your are marvelous

The gods wait to delight

In you” 

In closing, I invite you to check out our free 2017 LemonadeMakers calendar.  Just click home on this webpage and you will see our free offer.  It is made up of our audiences favorite graphics from our blog posts.  Have a Happy Holiday and wishing all of your an Amazing New Year. 

When You Are On Your Souls Path, There Is No Such Thing As A Real Obstacle

 We have this idea in life that there are people “out there” who have no problems. That if you have enough money, power, fame, the perfect soul mate – whatever label we put to it, then magically everything in our life would be perfect.

Wanting something is not enough.  You must hunger for it.  Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way.

  – Les Brown

What’s In Your Backpack?

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Sometimes you don’t realize the weight of a burden you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release.

 – Unknown

Have you ever had several inches of your hair cut off?  For many years I would grow my hair long enough to cut and donate to “Locks of Love”.  When they would cut off that much hair, my head would feel so light, like it was floating.  It only lasted for a day or two and then the new normal would kick in.  The weightlessness feeling would disappear. 

Have you ever felt that same way when you left a bad employer?  Ended a bad relationship?  Walked away from something that was consuming your life in a bad way, like an addiction?  Did you feel free?  Like a heavy weight had been lifted?

A smile can hide so any feelings; fear, sadness, heartbreak . .  but it also shows one other thing:  strength.

 – qutoesforbros.com

We all of us sometimes smile, and pretend our world is perfect.  When really deep inside, our world is being carried on our backs, and we can see it tipping us over.  We can see that we are about to lose it all.  We can see it, slipping off our shoulders.  It’s like the weight is crushing us to the ground.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we take on too much?  We don’t ask for help.  We don’t want to fail.  We don’t want to be seen as needy.  We tell ourselves we must be perfect 24/7. 

Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are. 

 – Bernice Johnson Reagan

Maybe what the life challenge is all about, is to teach us that this idea of perfection or not needing any help, will never work long term.  It might get you through a challenge or two.  But eventually it will become too heavy, and we will fall down.  We need to learn to receive as well as give.  We need to learn how to unpack our bags.  To let go of the things that no longer serve us.  We need to look at each item in the bag.  Are these socks really ours or do they belong to someone else?  What about that ugly top that we hide in the closet, who does that belong to?

We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

  – Unknown

I think of the example of going grocery shopping with either a hungry spouse or your children.  You are walking down the aisle and getting the items on your list.  When you are not looking, they sneak things into the cart.  They hide it underneath something already in the cart, so you can’t say no. Then when you get to the check out line, you discover five things in your cart that you didn’t put into it.  We are like this in our personal lives.  We not only cart around other peoples items in our bags, we pay for them too.  That is the best reason to have someone help you unpack.  They can help you figure out who those socks and ugly tops actually belong to. They can help you release them back to their true owners.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light.

  – Tea Bag Quote

We do this unconsciously for the most part.  Part of it comes from the initial wounding experience that you had as a young child, sometime before the age of 8.  For some reason so many people I know, including myself, it is age 4.  You experienced a childhood trauma, which impacted how you view the world.  What also happens is that you take on some of the problems as your own, that came from the other person involved in your wounding. 

If you want to fly, you’ve got to give up the things that weighs you down.

 – Savannah Smith

For example, in my own case, I walked in on my mom having an affair.  As an adult I had a problem with trust.  It wasn’t that I didn’t trust others so much as I didn’t trust myself.  This caused me to attract untrustworthy people into my life.  I finally through years of transformational work discovered that this issue wasn’t about me at all. It was about my mother.  When I released this baggage everything in my life shifted, because I finally knew that I could trust myself.  I was carrying around a mountain that didn’t even belong to me.

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light.  Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.

  – Glenn Clark

We all do this.  When you go camping, they tell you to put your food up in the air between trees so that wild animals can’t get to it.  In our backpacks, we have these items that attract the “wild animals”.  We attract these experiences into our lives over and over again.  We have a pattern of the kind of friends we attract; the kinds of significant others; the kinds of jobs; etc……  Why does the same thing keep happening to us? 

Keeping baggage from the past will leave no room for happiness in the future.

  – Wayne L Misner

We are attracting it into our life, it is our “wild animal”.  What the transformation process does, is it helps us to unpack our backpack.  To see what is really inside.  What are we carrying that no longer serves us?  What are we carrying that belongs to someone else?  What grudges, slights, hurts, and painful mountain heavy experiences are we carrying in our backpack?

It’s not the heavy load that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it.

 – Lena Horne

We are only meant to carry the load for a short time.  The time of the experience happening.  Not months and years later.  The weight of the past must be released.  You are meant to find the gold, and let go of the rest of the boulder.  Refocus on where you are headed.

Even the boulder that you are currently carrying, that you are trying to find the gold in.  The weight of that boulder can be lessened if you confine it to the lesson itself.  Sometimes we take the lesson to mean that we can’t do anything right.  That our whole life has been one failure after another.  That we are doomed.  That our existence itself is a burden.  None of those things are ever true.  It is our mind pressing down from the weight of every single burden we have ever carried, into one gigantic mountain.

When I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me.

 – Healrhyplace.com

You need to give yourself the gift of forgiveness.  The gift of compassion.  The gift of redemption.  The gift of letting go.  Get a piece of paper and start unpacking your backpack.  Write down every untold story that you have inside of your heart.  For years I blamed myself for my parents divorce.  If only I hadn’t opened her bedroom door, I wouldn’t have uncovered her dark secrets, and my parents would still be married.  But the truth is that had nothing to do with me, and was the result of their bad decisions and choices over which I had no power.  We all have these stories inside of us that must be released.  That must be unpacked and let go of.

So stop carrying the mountain.  Unpack your backpack.  Release the weight of the past. 

Always pray to have eyes that see the best, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith.  

– Unknown 

Give yourself the gift of seeing the best things in your backpack.  Of forgiving the worst things that you blame yourself for.  Of forgiving the bad things that happened to you, so that you don’t carry the weight of other peoples sins inside of you.  And never lose faith that everything in your life can serve you, if you give yourself the gift of love and forgiveness.

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Overcome Fear, Behold Wonder

In the world, in this moment, many are being overcome with fears.  Fears of the pandemic.  Fears of losing your elderly loved ones to illness and disease.  Fears can be based on past experience, of knowledge of something that has happened in the past.  This past fear is then projected into the immediate future of a danger that is seeking you.

Instead, Take a deep breath.  Just be aware and conscious of just this single moment.  This moment of inhalation or exhalation of your breath.  When you just concentrate on your breathing, you see how to live outside of this kind of fear.

In this moment, you are alive, breathing.  Your eyes are taking in what is around you.  Your ears are hearing sounds both from near and far.  You feel the softness of the material of the clothes you are wearing.  Maybe the way the tag on the collar of your shirt irritates your skin.  You think to yourself that you have to remember to use the scissors and cut that tag off.

If you have been outside, you might feel the rain drenched softness of the ground under your feet.  The soft dirt clings to the bottom of shoes as you sink into it with each step.  You smell the scent of rosemary as you walk along the path, its heady scent drifting on the breeze.  The sounds of the waves crashing down on the shore drowns out the call of the sea gulls, as they ride the air currents high above you.  You are awake and aware of the wonder of life itself.

If are in a state of fear, you won’t be aware of any of the sounds or smells of nature around you.  So, your choice in this moment is are you to be overcome with fear, or filled with wonder?

Think of those advertisements you might see for going to Disneyland or Disneyworld.  They are filled with the young children who can’t sleep because tomorrow is the special day when they enter the world of magic.  Their faces are the epitome of excitement and wonder.

When was the last time, that look was on your face?  The last time when you dropped the heavy burden of fears, and beheld the magic of life?  This photo reflects the majesty of our world, the beauty of creation and it is how you behold the wonder of life.

Remember the movie “Dune”?  The line around fear has stayed with me, Frank Herbert was a master with this thought around fear.

Fear is something that you can’t run away from.  Running away only puts more distance between you and the solution to your fear.   The only way to deal with fear, is to face the illusions that it brings.  You can only be fearless, when you learn to recognize the illusions from what is true and real.

“Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth; when perfect sincerity is expected, perfect freedom must be allowed; nor has anyone who is apt to be angry when he hears the truth, any cause to wonder that he does not hear it”  – Tacitus

Isn’t that something to wonder about?  This concept that you create the fears out of your own illusions, is something to think deeply about.  Illusions usually come from thinking that there isn’t enough of something that you want.

Not enough money, not enough jobs, not enough food, not enough of . . ,   what would happen to your fears if you could sincerely and honestly allowed a moment of perfect freedom into your world?  If you could truly believe that there is more than enough, and it is just waiting for you to step out of the illusion to get it?

I couldn’t find the person who wrote the “Reality of Fear”, but I loved it.  It captures the illusion of fear, in that it convinces you that the lie is truth.

You are scared of the dark it says, when really what you’re scared of is what you have projected into that darkness.  You can’t see in that darkness, the possibilities of what might be there.  A thief will rob you.  A killer will murder you.

Your mind freezes us with “what if’s”.  And the “what if’s” are made up in your mind.  The monster under the bed is actually the fears in your mind, manifesting the illusion into something appearing real.

Reality of Fear

You’re are not scared of the dark . . .  you’re scared of what’s in it

You’re not afraid of heights . . .  you’re afraid of falling

You’re not afraid of the people around you . . .  you’re afraid of rejection

You’re not afraid of love . . .  you’re afraid of not being loved

You’re not afraid to let go . . .  you’re afraid to accept the reality that its gone

You’re not afraid to try again . . .  you’re just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason

What if you took all of those fears and said this instead?

What Would You Re-Imagine For Your World?

 Your personal circumstances don’t determine where you can go, they merely determine where you start.

  – Nido Qubein

I think that most of us could agree that when we look out into our world today that it would be great to re-imagine the world in a better place.  Many in the world are not happy with our current political situation in the world.  In some places in the world, we have wars creating the worst refugee crisis ever.  We have terrorist who believe that blowing up the world of others, is a way to re-imagine the world.  It can be scary, it can make us angry, and it  can make us depressed.

What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible.

  – Theodore Roethke

On a personal level, we have personal life changes affecting us.  We may have lost our job or career.  Or we may have suffered the loss of a relationship or loved one through death or divorce.  We may be going through a life threatening medical diagnosis.  The stress of raising children, the stress of a taking care of a parent who is slowly exiting this life.  So many things that we could want to re-imagine onto a blank piece of paper to make our life easier.

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.

  – Henry David Thoreau

I believe that we can all be visionaries.  Visionaries see possibilities, what could be.  They make new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision.  Remember the “Back To The Future” movies.  When Doc Brown said, “Roads?  Where we are going we don’t need roads.”    I think that all of us can make changes in our lives that begin with sitting down with this blank piece of paper.  We can all start re-imagining our life.  But in order to do that, we need to let go of what is no longer serving us.  We need to wash off the dust that is on our souls.  

If you create a vision for your life, doors will open.

  – Unknown

You may hate your job.  Sunday night you might not sleep well, because you know that Monday you have to go back to work.  Your stomach may be tied up in knots.  You may get a Monday morning migraine, every Monday morning.  But the thought of looking for a different job is scary.  What if you end up in a worse working situation?  What if you change jobs only to be laid off from the new job? 

Don’t be afraid to fail – be afraid not to try.

  – Unknown

That happened to me years ago.  I was working for GMAC in their mortgage division in Southern California.  There was a smaller mortgage company where the owner was calling me all of the time to come work for him.  One day I decided to say yes, because it offered me an opportunity to get a promotion.  I went to work for him and as a side project I updated and revamped his existing broker guideline manual.  At the same time that I finished this (about six months) the interest rates spiked up, the values of properties went down, and California had a mini meltdown in the mortgage industry.  I was laid off.  And no one was hiring.

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.

  – Dalai Lama

I thought that I had made the worst job decision ever.  We ended up having to relocate up to the Seattle area where I had connections in order to find a new job.  We didn’t have sufficient savings to weather all of this and I hurt our credit.  We relocated our children who were all in school in the middle of the year.  So many little crisis’s created because of one decision.  But I started with the blank piece of paper. 

You’ve got to think about big things while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.

  – Alvin Toffler

I re-imagined my world and created something even better.  I found a new job, with a higher promotion and a higher income.  We fixed our credit, we bought a new home.  Our children adapted, they made new friends and ran around with all of the cousins that lived in the area.  What I learned in creating that manual for that old employer is what got me the wonderful new job.  It was a tool that I needed for my toolbox to continue my career growth, and I don’t think that I would have been hired for that position without it.

Your purpose explains what you are doing with your life.  Your vision explains how you are living your purpose. Your goals enable you to realize your vision.

  – Bob Proctor

So what does that experience tell me about what is happening in our world today?  It gives me hope.  Because I think that many of the long standing structures and governments in our world today – the systems that we have had in place for so long, need a transformation.  They are no longer working and need to be released.  We need a transformation into something better.  But just like what happens to us personally, the world hasn’t been listening and making the changes in an easy way.  So instead we appear to be having the breakdown to breakthrough. What we need is more of us to step into being visionaries.  To re-imagine what each of these systems could be.  To look at all of the structures and say, “what else is possible?”

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.  Who looks outside, dreams.  Who looks inside awakens.

  – Carl Jung

The signpost on this photo has 4 blank boards.  If you sat down right now with a blank piece of paper and wrote on it four things in your life that you are not happy with, what would they be?  What would you release and how would you release it? 

All tears are a releasing of resistance.  Every time.  No exceptions.

  – Abraham

Are you in resistance with releasing what no longer serves you?  Most of us are, even when it is painful to hold on. It is what we know.  Letting go without knowing what comes next, is more fearful than holding on to the thing that creates pain in our life.  While I believe wholeheartedly that the journey matters more than the destination, we need a destination or all we do is wander.

The only thing worse than being blind is having eyesight but no vision.

  – Helen Keller

So create four new destinations for your life.  Write down what you would change if I gave you a magic wand that you could wave and make your life different. Some things may be personal for your own life.  Things you want to attract, a significant other, a new dream job, a child of your own.  Some things may be more universal, like ending wars or terrorism, or medical care for all, or ending poverty or global hunger. 

Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life.  Because you become what you believe.

  – Oprah

Your soul is calling to you.  Your dreams are calling to you.  Your destiny is trying to unfold.  Take out that blank piece of paper and put something on those four blank signposts.  Start your journey to a new destination.  I can attest to the fact that your life will never be the same.  I took up the pen and started writing these blogs as part of my journey to a new destination.  You can’t imagine how much my life has changed.  The journey hasn’t been smooth, but it has been wonderful just the same.

Sight is what you eyes produce.  Vision is what your heart produces.  Never let what you see effect your vision.

  – Shandren Reddy

Visionaries don’t just believe in impossible things, they believe those impossible things must be done.  To take yourself from where you are, to someplace you have never been.  

You need to associate with people that inspire you, people that challenge you to rise higher, people that make you better.  Don’t waste your valuable time with people that are not adding to your growth.  Your destiny is too important.

  – Joel Osteen

That is the importance of community.  It is why I write these blogs and share the news stories that I share.  You all challenge me to be a better person.  Thank you for showing up and sharing your stories and your encouragement.  So let’s all go raise hell, and change the world!

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There Is A Dance That Only You Know How To Do

In many shamanic societies, if you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being depressed or dispirited, they would ask the following four questions:

When did you stop dancing?
When did you stop singing?
When did you stop being enchanted by stories?
When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?

When I read George Carlin’s quote I thought of the above words – because the wolves being silent at the moon, and the moon howling back – this spoke to me of a wolf being dispirited and the moon howling back those questions. 

This quote by George Carlin with the wolves being silent also reminded me of a time of reflection. Being silent and going within to review the actions of the year. A time to release the baggage of the past.

And you were just like the moon, so lonely, so full of imperfections, but just like the moon, you shined in times of darkness – Unknown

Every January we think of the new year’s goals or resolutions, new dreams to grow into our lives. The things we want to accomplish or bring into our lives. In order to be ready for that contemplation, you need to create a clean slate.

A good way to do that is to examine what you set out to do last year, what happened along the way, and what you need to acknowledge and release. 

Part of what can be released is all of those dreams that didn’t happen. You can mourn and release those dreams that no longer are a part of your life, because you have outgrown them.

We all have shadows within us.  Dark places where you hide the things you don’t want to face.  Where you hide things you are ashamed of.  These things need to be brought into the light.  You need to release them, so that they can become what they were meant to be.  They are the broken bits of you, the dreams you abandoned because of someone or something that hurt you. 

You can also release any toxic relationships that have ended or need to now end.  Release the darkness.

And like the moon, she had a side of her so dark, that even the stars couldn’t shine on it; she had a side of her so cold, that even the sun couldn’t burn on it –  Abigail J

I have always thought the saying is so true, “We make plans, God laughs”. This is because you tend to make plans that you feel safe about, things you know that you can do. Those kinds of plans don’t grow you or accomplish all that you are capable of doing. So, God laughs because he will take those plans, tear them apart and rebuild them into better ones.  Those are the unanswered prayers, the dreams that won’t grow you towards your destiny.

Throughout the year you can look for those examples, where your small safe plan, was revised with divine humor into a much bigger plan.

Or it might be that because  you didn’t do a release from last year, that this year’s plans have not even got off the ground. 

Look not for the desires you have, for they are simply things that you want in your life.  Look for what your soul longs for.  What each heartbeat is sending to you, telling you that THIS IS WHY YOU ARE HERE! 

When the wolf howls at the moon, you can hear the yearning in his voice.  Give your own yearning a voice in your life.

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon – Paul Brandt

So with the next full moon, you can again review, release, and restore life. Every quarter, the moon will usher in a new season.  That is a perfect time to release the old, failed, or aborted dreams, and plan anew. 

We dance for laughter,

we dance for tears,

we dance for madness,

we dance for fears,

we dance for hopes,

we dance for dreams,

we are the dancers, we create dreams.

Albert Einstein

One of my all-time favorite songs is “Moondance” by Van Morrison.  I love the summer and autumn nights of a full moon.  With a warm breeze blowing and sitting on a sandy beach, watching the moon rise over the water – there isn’t a better feeling.  You can feel the magic of the night strumming your heart strings.