Choices, Chances, Changes, and The Courage To Make Them

An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth.”
The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”
The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.”

I have always loved this story because it is so on point. You have choices on how you interpret things. You have choices on how you feel. You can go down the positive, optimistic road.  Or you can go down the negative, pessimistic road. I try very hard to go down the positive road. 

May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.  –  Nelson Mandela

You can change your life by having the courage to bring into your life something that was never fostered or nurtured in you as a child.  All of the good wolfs qualities, joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth come from having a positive self-worth. Just because you were not raised as a positive person seeking joy, peace, love, hope in your life, doesn’t mean that you can’t live your life from that place.

The pathway here of the good wolf is the same one as Robert Frost’s less traveled road. Many people feed the “evil” wolf’s feelings of drama – anger, jealousy, greed – they blame all of their problems on someone else. Nothing is their fault. They just have bad luck. Can’t get ahead, and so on, and so on. The “evil” wolfs path is paved with bad choices made in the past, and excuses for what is happening in the present. 

You have two choices,

accept conditions as they exist,

or accept the responsibility to change them.

If you find that you have strayed into feeding the “evil” wolf, you can stop feeding him. We all have times that we make poor decisions. You have the power to change circumstances immediately by accepting responsibility for where you are.  For all of the choices you have made.  To not make any more excuses for your mistakes.  As the saying goes, “the buck stops here”.  Just start making better choices.

Sometimes you think you are making a good choice, only to discover you didn’t.  How can you tell which road to choose? You can tell the difference in how the energy or vibrations make you feel in your body as you contemplate your decisions.

When you are compromising your spirit, it feels wrong. You might get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. But every time you make a good choice, a positive choice, even if it has negative consequences, you feel lighter, cleaner in your spirit.

Picking a path with heart – Carlos Castaneda

Choose the path that takes you where you need to go. It is the path of growth.

Do what you are afraid to do.

It is how good character is developed. 

Embrace, accept and celebrate each choice you make that keeps you walking your own path in life.  Embrace it and own it when the bad wolf wins. Stop feeding it and start feeding the good wolf again.

It is easy to wander off the path.  To get distracted.  Each minute gives you a new chance to get back on your own path, making better choices.

You have the choice every day to be just like the crowd, asleep at the wheel, and just existing in life.  To get distracted by the bright shiny lights.  To get so busy with life’s distractions that you fall back asleep.  

You can always choose again, to wake up and to be different.  Every choice you make, makes you who you are.  You can choose to be distinct.  To be what only you can be. 

I choose to live by choice not by chance,

To be motivated, not manipulated,

To be useful, not used,

To make change, not excuses,

To excel, not compete,

I choose self-esteem, not self-pity,

I choose to listen to my inner voice,

Not to listed to the random opinions of others . . .

   – InspirationBoost.com

When I think of this, I immediately think of the photos of the little old ladies in New York City.  They dress up in wild colors.  They wear outrageous hats.  They have style.  They are saying “Look at me, that’s right, take a second or third look”.  They crack me up, because they don’t care if you are judging them, because they are having too much fun being an original distinctive wild woman.  Their life viewpoint, have fun and give people something to talk about.

Let Your Inner Child Whisper In Your Ear

At some point in your life, you were told to grow up. Stop acting like a child. Hide your feelings. Be an adult. Be more serious, and so on. You lose a vital part of who you are when you listen to that. You bury it so deep that you forget it is even there. You begin to sleepwalk through your entire life.

“Are you feeling a bit shaken, maybe stirred, maybe fearful and doubtful and completely utterly wildly terrified?  Good.  Keep going”  – Victoria Erickson

You “release the Kraken”, the Inner Queen of your life.  You stop the drama.  You stop being so sad, or angry.  You stop trying to be all things for all people.  You just let all of that stuff go.  You are no longer afraid of who you are.  You realize that you have always been more than enough.  You finally get that caring for yourself is an act of love, and the only way you can survive.

“You can’t give up on something that your heart is still rooting for, no matter how hard the fall is.  Your heart is the ultimate master.  It knows the things the mind doesn’t yet have an answer for.  It leads the way out of your darkest moments.  It’s your one and only Chief of Staff. You have the power to thrive under any circumstances, as long as you use your heart as the compass”– Andrea Balt

This inner child has so much imagination. They have such enthusiasm for life. They don’t see what is, they see what might be. The possibilities of endless wonder. It is having fun today, instead of planning for it on your yearly vacation. Picture in your mind a steep hill.  You are at the top the hill looking down.  You are on your bike, and you are about to start down the hill, to break a world speed record.  You can see everyone you know at the bottom of the hill cheering you on.  Your best friends, your brothers and sisters, even your mom and dad. 

Imagine the story you will be telling ten years from now.  Is it the story about the wild ride down the hill, or how you carefully rode down the hill with the brakes on all the way to play it safe?  Celebrate your inner child and fly down that hill!

“The most potent muse of all is your own inner child” – Stephen Nachmanovitch

That inner child doesn’t wallow in disappointment. If the idea fails to work as planned, they simply dust themselves off and start a new plan. If the child has a fight with their best friend, five minutes later it is forgiven and forgotten. They don’t just run down the street; they leap down it.

Every minute is to be filled with a sense of wonder and joy.  That inner child is waiting to take your hand and dance with you through the fields of flowers, to laugh rolling down the hillside.

If you still have that child locked up and buried deep inside, I encourage you to set it free. Let it explore and come up with fun plans for your life. It’s magical looking at your life through the kaleidoscope and spinning the designs. Imagination will get you everywhere.  Answer the toy phone and see who is calling you. 

Give that spirit of the child over to your personal genius. See what you can discover about your purpose that you didn’t know.  You will be amazed by how wonderful and fun life can be when you aren’t supervised by your inner critic.

“So, like a forgotten fire, a childhood can always flare up again within us” – Gaston Bachelard

When you have big dreams, you become a person of vision.  When you follow that vision, you have the passion, strength and patience to change the world.  You are living in a time right now, where men and women of vision are about to make huge changes in the world.  When a “new normal” is about to be created.

Don’t let your mind or anyone else tell you that you can’t be a big part of bringing those changes into reality.  Your dreams are valid.

“Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”  – Steve Jobs

Today realize that you are old enough to start reading fairy tales again.  Holding the hand of your inner child, step through the mirror and see what Wonderland has in store for you. Visit Neverland and see if you can fly. Go looking for treasures on Treasure Island. Explore the deep oceans with Captain Nemo.  

All of these stories have such vital life lessons in them. They can help you understand deep things about yourself. People may think that you are crazy for doing so, but I have it on the best authority that “all of the best people are”.

Love Is A Superpower

 Admit it, as some point in your life, you wanted to have super powers.  Wonder Woman, Super Girl, Super Man, Batman or Robin, Spiderman?  What super power did you want to have?  What Super Hero do you want to be?

One of my favorite stories of my children is when my middle son Seth was around 5 years old.  We were having a costume party and he wanted to be Superman.  It wasn’t around Halloween, so I made the costume myself.  I made a cape and the Superman S was made out of felt and was on the cape, and on the leotard on his chest.  I found these wonderful red knee socks that were fuzzy and looked a lot like boots.  The costume was perfect and when he put it on the night before the party he was so excited. 

He climbed up on the back of our couch, leaped into the air, and came crashing down to the floor.  He was so mad.  He thought that if he had the costume he would be able to fly.  It took all of my ingenuity to talk him into wearing the costume for his party, because if he couldn’t fly he didn’t want to attend his own party.  I am so thankful that he chose the couch and not a high tree to jump out of – lol.

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them.  They went out and happened to things.

  –  Leonardo da Vinci

I think that a great super power is this very thing, going out and making things happen.  As women we handle many roles.  We are a mother (giving life, nurturing and believing in our children), a daughter (giving love, respect and gratitude to our parents), a wife (life sustaining devotion, inner beauty, and immense power) a sister (who will fight for you and always love you no matter what).  And many of us become care givers for our elderly parents.  All immensely challenging roles.

You laugh, cry and work harder than you ever thought you could.  Some days you’re trying to change the world and some days it’s just diapers.  Some days you love your life, and some days you wonder if you can just take one more step.  Some days like Old Mother Hubbard there is nothing in the cupboard and your wallet is empty.  But your heart is full and you have faith.  So you make it through to the next day and the next day after that.  Your heart is full, sometimes of laughter and sometimes of tears.  You have memories of your family as you grew up, and memories of raising your own.  You may not think it, but you’ve changed the world just by being in it.  On those days when one more step seems too long, remember you are a super hero.

We are strong, smart and crafty in creating a “home” and a “refuge” in the middle of a chaotic world.  We can open and close car doors, front doors, and refrigerator doors, while holding onto both children, bags of groceries, purses and a diaper bag.  We bring a new definition to multitasking as one of our super powers.

Each of us is a wonder.  We are unique, in an unrepeatable way.  The real you, is unique and the only one of you that will ever be on this earth.  Never before and never again, will there be someone just like you.  It such an amazing thing to let sink in.  You didn’t just happen to be here now.  You are here for a reason, a purpose.  A purpose that can only be accomplished, if you let the real you be up front and center.  Your super power is so needed in our world. 

We all have angels guiding us . . . , they look after us.  They heal us, touch us, comfort us with invisible warm hands . . . , what will bring their help?  Asking.  Giving,  Thanks.

  –   Sophy Burnha

We are all given the opportunity to be one of those angels among us.  Super Heroes are ordinary people who have extraordinary hearts.  If you have the power to make someone happy, that is a super power that the world needs more of. 

I think a hero is any person really intent on making this a better place for all people.

  -Maya Angelou

A kind word to a stranger.  Calling a friend when they cross your mind and not putting it off until later (when you forget).  Everyone walking today encounters a dark road at times in their life.  When they get lost in the woods and are looking for the breadcrumbs to find their way back home.  What we all need at that time is someone who is lighting the way with just a single ray of hope.  Be that ray of hope.  It just takes a smile, a listening ear, to take the time to acknowledge that you have been in that dark place too.  That is why we give, because we have all known what it feels like to be lonely, depressed, to have nothing.

I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. 

  – Christopher Reeves

Christopher Reeves not only played a hero in the movies, he was a hero in real life.  When life’s lemons took away his ability to walk, he did not give up, feel sorry for himself.  I am sure he felt like it at times, but he remained steadfast in speaking out for all of us about what really being a hero was all about.  He knew that it wasn’t important how others saw him, what was important was how he saw himself.  Because of that he continued to make a difference.

You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you.  What you do makes a difference and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.

  – Jane Goodall

We all have the super power to make a difference.  Most of the time we won’t even know what kind of difference we have made.  But if you were to line up 50 adults and go down the line, every single one of them would have more than one person that had made a difference in their life.  A special teacher, an Aunt or Uncle, a best friend, a stranger on the street who simply smiled at them when they needed one the most.  Probably most of the stories they would tell would surprise you.  You probably didn’t realize that what you said or did had an impact.

You want to make a difference in the world?  It starts with how you walk into a room.  Instead of saying, “Here I am” begin with “There you are”.

  – unknown

You might not know it, but you have made a difference to someone.  It may not be huge, but it matters just the same.  The really cool thing is that your influence never needs to stop.  We can affect eternity with our super powers of love.  Love can heal us.  Love can help us to grow into who we came here to be.  Love can grant us forgiveness for ourselves and others.  Love can help us to move on when it is time to let go.  Love moves us forward when it is time to return to the journey of discovering just how great we really are.  And love can inspire us to be even more than we ever dreamed.

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When You Are On Your Souls Path, There Is No Such Thing As A Real Obstacle

 We have this idea in life that there are people “out there” who have no problems. That if you have enough money, power, fame, the perfect soul mate – whatever label we put to it, then magically everything in our life would be perfect.

Wanting something is not enough.  You must hunger for it.  Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way.

  – Les Brown

The Power Of Pause

You are all so busy, that even in the moments when you aren’t crossing something off your list, you fill in the space with something that still doesn’t allow the space to “JUST BE”. When I am resting I am usually still doing something that I call relaxing, like reading a book or solving a word puzzle. And while those things are relaxing for me, I am still in “doing mode” – beat the puzzle or learn something new from the book.

“Learn to pause or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you”  – Doug King

Why is it so hard to “just be”? I love this photo because cats are excellent “just be” creatures. What is the difference between us and the cat in this example? The cats isn’t afraid of:

• I will be irrelevant if I can’t prove you need me every moment
• I won’t measure up to the “super woman” who is the best friend, wife and mother, and corporate executive
• I won’t get everything done
• I am what I do, so I have to be doing every moment

If something isn’t on this list, I am sure that you could add 100 more things that you are afraid of missing, or doing, or being – that stands in your way of “just being”.  They even have an acronym for it “FOMO” – fear of missing out.  You had it even as a child – it’s the reason why you didn’t want to go to bed.  You were sure you were going to miss out on something important.

“Too many people go through life without pausing to enjoy what they have”  – David Gemmell

What is just pausing? Being disconnected from the world for just a few minutes. Check into what you are feeling. Quiet your mind. Look around you at the beauty of your surroundings.  Ignore just for moment, if the windows need cleaning, that you just spotted a spider web, or there is dust on the piano.  It is taking the time to replenish, to give yourself permission to rest and truly relax.

“Something precious is lost if we rush headlong into the details of life without pausing for a moment to pay homage to the mystery of life and the gift of another day”  – Kent Nexbum

Why is this so important?

“Taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective”  –   Doe Zantamata

What I find for myself personally, is that when I am avoiding something, I get really busy, usually deep cleaning, which means I take the entire room apart and clean everywhere.  I move all of the furniture, I decide that the bookcase needs to go into another room, which means that all of the books get removed, etc….

“Don’t mistake movement for achievement.  It’s easy to get faked out by being busy.  The question is:  “Busy doing what?”  – Jim Rohn

You get busy to avoid the thing you don’t want to do.  You get busy to avoid the thing you don’t want to face.  You get busy and stay busy and ignore the calling of your soul.  You don’t want to face this thing, and so you get so busy that you forget it for just a little while.

At any moment you can say enough…, You am not going to avoid this any longer.  You can radically change the course of your life, your purpose, your destiny.  You have the power, the faith, and the courage to follow your hearts calling.  You have the ability to pause, to pray, and to stop and practice deep listening to what your soul is calling you to do.  You can pause and just listen.

 “Pause and remember – Change will happen the moment you have the courage to change”  –  Jennifer Young

The courage to change is folded into the realization that every change in your life has been meaningful.  Some were life’s lemons and they tore you asunder.  You may have thought that they were going to be the end of you.  But instead they made you smarter, stronger, and wiser than you were before they blew through your life.

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory”  – Unknown

Other changes were easy and like a light summer breeze came and went without too much commotion.  Even so, they changed you in a very meaningful matter.  It revived you.

Introspection, reflection, relaxation, they all mean that you have to take a moment, a pause to let your mind wrap around the changes and accept them in a way that moves you forward in progress.

“When things get too messed up, life seems too stressed, and  you feel trapped in circumstantial webs.  Take a pause, take a breath, break free from all the thoughts and then march ahead”  – shrawanidas

So, pause and practice being a cat and JUST BE.

“Your inner child gets It all, believes it all, hopes for it all and is the only guardian worthy of your heart. That child knows that life – which runs on love and feasts on creativity – is on your side, and that the universe conspires with you, not against you, to help you spread that wild, crazy, messy love through your own story. Please, don’t grow up…” – Andrea Belt

Become That Kind Of Woman

Dreamers, Just Do It

Dreamers make wishes when they blow out the birthday candles with complete confidence they will come true. They blow on the dandelions seeds and spread their wishes all over the world. They wish on the first star they see each night. The secret they know is — we are all just dreamers in an endless universe.

Judith Thurman said, “Every dreamer knows that it is entirely possible to be homesick for a place you’ve never been to, perhaps more homesick than familiar ground.”

Doers take the dreamers up a notch. They believe in the magic, but they also know that it takes a little bit of elbow grease to make the machines run. They know that to take the dream into reality we must put it in writing. We must plant the seeds, water and fertilize them, weed when needed, and watch in amazement as the miracle of growth happens. Doers know that the energy goes when the attention flows, so rather than giving their energy to their fears, they focus their energy on their dreams. They know that action needs to follow the dream.

Sarah Ban Breathnach said, “The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.”

Thinkers know that they can put the dream on steroids because they realize the power of thought and attitude. It is like strapping a rocket onto the doers goals, when the doer has the right thinking to get the dream off the paper and into reality. The trick is the right amount of thinking, in combination with action.

Creative thinking outside the box produces inspiring ideas that can change the world. Plato said, “Thinking: the talking of the soul with itself.” When we go deep inside ourselves and draw up the dream, enhance it by stripping away all of the negativity about the dream that we have, we become free thinkers who can see without prejudice what the destiny of the dream is. We talk with our souls and see possibilities for the dream everywhere we look. This helps the doer to pick the best door to open to the best opportunities.

That brings us to possibilities. Thomas Edison said, “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this: you haven’t.” Since his most famous quote is “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”, I think that this quote is certainly made by someone who knows it to be absolutely true. If he had not continued his work, then his numerous inventions, most famous being the light bulb would not have been invented. He founded General Electric, had a motion picture and record company in addition to others. All because failure to him was just more information to think about. A part of the process, and not something to be avoided. 

I also love the quote by Audrey Hepburn “I M Possible” instead of impossible. Inside each of us is the space where we know. We know, that we know, that we know, that anything that comes into our heart and soul for us to do, is for us to do. And most important, that it is completely possible for us to do.

So greet your dream with open arms, know that the doer and the thinker will show you the endless possibilities for you to bring that dream into reality – then go do it.

Our Deepest Fear About Ourself Is Our Deepest Treasure

 How can a fear that eats us alive, also be a great treasure?  Marianne Williamson has the best answer I have ever heard to this question.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  You’re playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

  – Marianne Williamson 

As children we freely express ourselves.  Our emotions flow through us, one minute we are crying like the world has ended, and the next minute we are smiling and serenely happy with the smallest thing that has grabbed our attention.  As we grow older we somehow come under this trance of fearing to be different than everyone else.  We feel like we are not good enough, unworthy in some way and we start striving to earn a place at the table. 

The human longings that are deep inside of us never go away.  They exist across cultures; they exist throughout life . . . , our deepest longing was to know and be known . . . , it’s now also our deepest fear.

  –  John Ortberg

The great thing is that at any moment we can begin to awaken to the truth of who we are.  We can stop pushing our true selves into the dark corner.  Instead we can be setting fire to every thought and feeling, burning it up with dragon fire.  We can set it free to soar high into the night sky to light up the darkness inside of us.  We can free ourselves of thinking that we are not good enough. not pretty enough, not talented enough, or not smart enough.  Instead of fearing the bright lights that we are, we can illuminate the night sky, and help those around us realize that they too can set themselves free.

Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.  Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.

  – Rainer Maria Rilke

It takes a lot of courage to risk being alive without self imposed limits.  To express who we are.  When I think back to my biggest fears in life, I can see where those fears at times both served to protect me, and at others times caused tremendous harm in my life.  The real trick is to discern when the fear is protecting us, and when it is limiting us.  Every fear in our life has the potential to become a shadow. A shadow is in every folded up place.  It is in those folded up places, that we are not living our life as who we truly are.

I want to unfold.  I don’t want to stay folded anywhere, because where I am folded, there I am a lie.

  – Rainer Maria Rilke

As we have journeyed down life’s paths, we have all experienced someone putting us down for something we said or did.  I remember being ashamed of being an “A” student.  All of my friends were making fun of me, saying I thought I was too good to be hanging out with them.  I remember getting “B’s” on purpose, so that I could fit in better with my friends. 

In every heart there is an inner room, where we can hold our greatest treasures and our deepest pain.

  – Marianne Williamson

So for a lot of years as an adult, I would give my ideas at work to someone else, so they could get the credit for it, because I was afraid to be judged as thinking that I was smarter than my fellow employees.  This created what is termed a shadow – it was created by my pretending to be someone different than I really was.  I thought I was protecting myself.  In reality I was hurting myself, because it held me back from being recognized as a valued employee.

Fear is an idea-crippling, experience-crushing, success-stalling inhibitor inflicted only by yourself.

  – Stephanie Melish

We all have these gifts or talents that we bury.  Our light scares us.  So rather than risk being seen, being noticed, letting everyone know how powerful we are – we hide in just existing.  The moment that you stop being afraid of being different in some way from everyone else is when you experience true freedom.  We don’t realize what a weight that we carry around, hiding from who we really are, until you release it and let it go. 

Draw a map.  Find a path.  Take a breath, and run.

  – Unknown

For years I would grow my hair really long, and then I would go get it cut shoulder length and donate it to Locks of Love to make wigs for children with cancer.  I always remember how light my head would feel, when I got my long hair cut.  It always surprised me how much weight it felt like on my head, but how when I would hold the braid it was so light. 

As our fears grown within us, it is like that long hair.  We don’t notice the weight we are carrying around.  Because it grew slowly, the fear slowly weighted us down.  When we release the fear, like the long hair getting cut, we become lighter.  The way to release the fear is with love. 

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.  Fear of the unknown is our greatest fear.  Many of us would enter a tiger’s lair before we would enter a dark cave.  While caution is a useful instinct, we lose many opportunities and much of the adventure of life if we fail to support the curious explorer within us.

  –  Joseph Campbell

When we are consciously living a life of love for ourselves and others, then we shine our lights brightly because we realize it is our purpose to help others shine their bright lights.  The meaning of life is not expressed by the size of our bank accounts, the title we achieve at a job; the fame and fortune that we seek out.  The meaning of life lies within us living our lives from that place of love.  Letting our lights shine out so that we can share the true treasure of who we are. 

Who am I, you ask?

I am made from all the people I’ve encountered and all the things I have experienced.

Inside, I hold the laughter of my friends, the arguments with my parents, the chattering of your children, and the warmth from kind strangers.

Inside, there are stitching’s from cracked hearts, bitter words from heated arguments, music that gets me through, and emotions I cannot convey.

I am made from all these people and moments.

That is who I am.

  – Ming D Liu

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Challenges Change Everything

Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge – Eckhart Tolle

In 1885 the first practical auto was driven down the road.  The horse and buggy industry didn’t take notice.  They felt that this new fangled invention was just a temporary fad.  A few years later this industry discovered they were wrong, as the auto took over the roadways and became the common mode of transportation.

In March of 2009 Uber was founded and it is doing the same thing to the taxi industry.  In a few years the same thing will happen with the long-haul trucking industry as driver-less trucks will become the norm.

One of the constants in our world is change.  If you aren’t paying attention your industry could be impacted, and you might no longer have an occupation.

Just like these examples, most industries that we know and recognize in a certain way today, will at some point in our future totally change.  Most will be caught unaware when it happens.

In our personal lives, the same thing is true.  Everyday in some way, you are a new person.  In the past 24 hours you have probably learned something new.  You have probably changed your mind about something.  You realized, due to getting more information, or looking at it in a new way, that maybe what you thought about it wasn’t 100% true.

You outgrew a belief.  You adopted a new belief.  You released an old belief.

There are moments which mark your life.  Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts, before this, and after this – N. Kazan

Change builds resilience in you.  Resilience isn’t being numb to the changes.  It means that even though the change you experience may have felt like you are a failure, or hurt you in some way, that you kept going.

It takes courage to let go of what can’t be changed.  Sometimes this means that you have to learn a new job skill.  Sometimes you have lost an arm, a leg, went blind or deaf.  It takes courage to find a new and different way to still be able to live the dreams you have for yourself.

When I was growing up, I realized through hard life lessons that my parents were not, and could not be the foundation of my world.

When I married my husband, I thought that he would be the foundation of my world, and through a hard life lesson, I learned that this was also not true.

Then I thought that God would be the foundation of my world and discovered that this also was not true.

I had to be the foundation of my world.  Then on that foundation, I could build my spirituality, my family, my friends, my career, and everything else in my life.  But I had to build them upon me, as my own true foundation.

The reason this is true for me, is I had to accept responsibility for just me.  I had to accept reality, and not try to push decisions or the results of those decisions on anyone else, including blaming God for what was happening.

I had to be the one.  I had to be the “hot coal”.  If you have ever had to heat your home with wood or coal, then you know that if you bank the fire at night, it is easy to get going in the morning.  This is because underneath the cold looking ashes, lies a hot coal.  It is easy to get the fire going again with those hot coals.

There is no way for me to be a perfect woman, but there are a million ways I have can be a good wife, mother, sister, aunt, niece, and friend.

Look around you. Everything changes.  Everything on this earth is in a continuous state of evolving, refining, improving, adapting, enhancing . . . , changing.  You were not put on this earth to remain stagnant –  Dr. Steve Maraboli

You need to be like the hot coal.  You don’t want to be like a burning match.  When the winds of change blow into your life, if you are the match, you will burn out quickly and die.  But the winds of change blowing on the hot coals will cause you to burst into flames of light, and not burn out.

What you believe defines you.  What you tell yourself about who you are, how you react to change, is all a part of this definition of who you are.

In the cover photo you see the same tree.  The same field.  But each section presents a different season, time of day,

When you try to remain safe inside of the box, and resist change, you inhibit the natural growth that is supposed to happen in your life.  You in essence become a desert deep inside of yourself.   You stop living your life.  You stop loving yourself. That is the real tragedy in life.  You just stop living and just keep existing.

All you can change is yourself, but sometimes that changes everything –   Gary W. Goldstein

It really is up to you how you live your life.  You can’t blame anyone else – not your parents, or your spouse, your boss or God.  You can choose the green grass – a beautiful life; or you can choose to walk through the dried up dusty abandoned land of blame and abdication of change and the responsibility that it entails.

Will You Answer Destiny’s Call?

Overcome Fear, Behold Wonder

In the world, in this moment, many are being overcome with fears.  Fears of the pandemic.  Fears of losing your elderly loved ones to illness and disease.  Fears can be based on past experience, of knowledge of something that has happened in the past.  This past fear is then projected into the immediate future of a danger that is seeking you.

Instead, Take a deep breath.  Just be aware and conscious of just this single moment.  This moment of inhalation or exhalation of your breath.  When you just concentrate on your breathing, you see how to live outside of this kind of fear.

In this moment, you are alive, breathing.  Your eyes are taking in what is around you.  Your ears are hearing sounds both from near and far.  You feel the softness of the material of the clothes you are wearing.  Maybe the way the tag on the collar of your shirt irritates your skin.  You think to yourself that you have to remember to use the scissors and cut that tag off.

If you have been outside, you might feel the rain drenched softness of the ground under your feet.  The soft dirt clings to the bottom of shoes as you sink into it with each step.  You smell the scent of rosemary as you walk along the path, its heady scent drifting on the breeze.  The sounds of the waves crashing down on the shore drowns out the call of the sea gulls, as they ride the air currents high above you.  You are awake and aware of the wonder of life itself.

If are in a state of fear, you won’t be aware of any of the sounds or smells of nature around you.  So, your choice in this moment is are you to be overcome with fear, or filled with wonder?

Think of those advertisements you might see for going to Disneyland or Disneyworld.  They are filled with the young children who can’t sleep because tomorrow is the special day when they enter the world of magic.  Their faces are the epitome of excitement and wonder.

When was the last time, that look was on your face?  The last time when you dropped the heavy burden of fears, and beheld the magic of life?  This photo reflects the majesty of our world, the beauty of creation and it is how you behold the wonder of life.

Remember the movie “Dune”?  The line around fear has stayed with me, Frank Herbert was a master with this thought around fear.

Fear is something that you can’t run away from.  Running away only puts more distance between you and the solution to your fear.   The only way to deal with fear, is to face the illusions that it brings.  You can only be fearless, when you learn to recognize the illusions from what is true and real.

“Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth; when perfect sincerity is expected, perfect freedom must be allowed; nor has anyone who is apt to be angry when he hears the truth, any cause to wonder that he does not hear it”  – Tacitus

Isn’t that something to wonder about?  This concept that you create the fears out of your own illusions, is something to think deeply about.  Illusions usually come from thinking that there isn’t enough of something that you want.

Not enough money, not enough jobs, not enough food, not enough of . . ,   what would happen to your fears if you could sincerely and honestly allowed a moment of perfect freedom into your world?  If you could truly believe that there is more than enough, and it is just waiting for you to step out of the illusion to get it?

I couldn’t find the person who wrote the “Reality of Fear”, but I loved it.  It captures the illusion of fear, in that it convinces you that the lie is truth.

You are scared of the dark it says, when really what you’re scared of is what you have projected into that darkness.  You can’t see in that darkness, the possibilities of what might be there.  A thief will rob you.  A killer will murder you.

Your mind freezes us with “what if’s”.  And the “what if’s” are made up in your mind.  The monster under the bed is actually the fears in your mind, manifesting the illusion into something appearing real.

Reality of Fear

You’re are not scared of the dark . . .  you’re scared of what’s in it

You’re not afraid of heights . . .  you’re afraid of falling

You’re not afraid of the people around you . . .  you’re afraid of rejection

You’re not afraid of love . . .  you’re afraid of not being loved

You’re not afraid to let go . . .  you’re afraid to accept the reality that its gone

You’re not afraid to try again . . .  you’re just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason

What if you took all of those fears and said this instead?

Fly Through Illusions To Reach The Magic of Knowing Yourself

The hardest thing is to really know yourself.  You are kind of like one of those hidden drawers in a roll top desk.  There are a lot of things to see on the desk, which is how you show up in the world.  It hides all of the physical aspects of the desk.  Then when you start looking at the desk itself, and open the roll top there is another layer of things to get distracted by.  All of the obvious nooks and crannies and drawers.

If you really examine the desk inch by inch you discover that something seems to be a little off.  Being curious you start pushing and pulling on the wood of the desk.  Inch by inch your fingers keep looking for the hidden lever, until the hidden drawer suddenly pops open.  You’ve found the real you.  It takes concentration, patience and the ability to be curious instead of judgmental.

“Knowing others is wisdom.  Knowing yourself is enlightenment”  – Lao Tzu

So what does this really mean? Taking this even a step further, is accepting what you discover about yourself.

“When you know yourself, you are empowered.  When you accept yourself, you are invincible”  – Tina Lifford

For me, it is how as children you are taught what being successful is.  You are taught to get good grades.  You are taught to go for higher education for a particular type of job.  Medical fields, teaching fields, computer science fields and so on.  You are taught to excel in school and then go to work and excel in your chosen profession.  In school I was lucky enough to have an amazing teacher who taught me to take concepts apart to truly understand what they meant.  To use the How, What, Why kinds of questions to explore what it really means.

“Know who you are.  Know what you want.  Know what you deserve.  And don’t settle for less”  – Tony Gaskins

What you should do first is really understand yourself.  Know what your passions are in life.  What lights you up and makes you happy?  Having a healthy self esteem, that really knows what your values and talents are.  Most importantly, what your personal genius is.  Once you have identified those, you know who you are at your core being.  What makes you happy.  How you can best serve others.

Then it is up to you to go out and find the profession that meets all of the criteria.  Instead you have been so busy being educated, that you missed the importance of self knowledge in the equation.  Instead, you have navigated or simply stumbled into a profession that is not a true calling.  It’s a paycheck.

How did you choose that profession?  Maybe on the advice of a favorite teacher.  Maybe you were steered by your parents into what they felt was a financially rewarding career.  Maybe it was for the glamour of the profession.  In Hollywood many careers are based on dreams of being a Emmy awarded singer, or winning an Oscar.  If it is truly your “dream job”, would you do it even if they didn’t pay you?

What did you really know about this profession before you entered it?  What illusions did you have about what your profession would give back to you?  How did your passion and purpose play into this profession?  What about your personal genius?  That thing you do that is so easy for you, that you don’t understand why everyone can’t do it? Does it fulfill your divine destiny?  Clarity is powerful.  Pay attention to day dreams, where your mind wanders is an important clue to what you are really seeking in life.

“Are we living  our dream?  Or are we living somebody else’s dream?”  – Arianne Huffington

Truly knowing who you are requires a toughness of the soul.  Knowing yourself in all of the ways that matter, means that you:

• Know your own mind; what your thoughts are, what thoughts need changing = attitude
• Knowing your own heart; and following where it leads, the souls direction = faith
• Knowing your own strengths; and playing from that space of strength = grace
• Knowing your own limitations; and accepting them for what they are = peace
• Knowing your own values; and never crossing them = nature
• Know your fears; they tell you what is really important = mastery

“You have to love yourself, because no amount of love from others is sufficient to full the yearning that your soul requires from you” –  Dobinsky

The world needs you to know yourself, be yourself, love yourself and trust yourself.  It is the only way to get from who you are, to who you want to be.  It is the only way to figure our what you need to shift, change, release and transform to get to where you want to be.  Knowing yourself isn’t easy.  It is usually messy, not pretty.

It is about accepting the parts of yourself that even you are hiding from.  It is stripping away the stories that you tell, that whitewash your less than stellar qualities.  It is about taking down the illusions, removing the cloaks of invisibility and loving what remains.  Own the place of your soul.  Stand tall and take inventory.  Then shift and change and transform into the best version of you.  It isn’t easy, but it is priceless.

“Here’s the truth:  people who get what they want tend to be the ones to make the effort to know what they want”  – Martha Beck