Receiving With Grace

“When you look away from a homeless person, you diminish their humanity and your own” –  Father Murray, as quoted by Brene Brown in her book “Rising Strong”

This simple sentence really speaks volumes. What is it that would make someone turn away from a homeless person?  Have you ever pretended to not see someone? Are you afraid connect to that person? Why is it so hard for some to make eye contact with anyone?

“Be grateful for every compliment you receive – don’t shrug it off.  When you are open to receiving, you will receive more from the universe”  – Unknown

I was once at a seminar where one of the group things we did was to move around the room and hug. No words were allowed. Just a real, heart-felt hug and move on to another person. Most of us connected after the hug, looking into the other person’s eyes before moving on to the next person. Some people had a really hard time with this. Their eyes darted around and they could not maintain the steady looking into the eyes of the other person.

“When you give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed”  – Maya Angelou

One woman in particular really connected with me. When I look deeply into another person’s eyes, it feels like I fall into their soul. I see them. I see their stories. Their triumphs and failures. So much joy and pain. I saw all of those things and she felt it. We had a heart to heart connection. She came up later and handed me a card and quickly walked away. When I looked at the card, it was a drawing with the heart in the middle. I realized that she wanted to acknowledge the connection, but she wasn’t ready to talk about it. It was a beautiful moment.

“Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it” – Rabindranath Tagore

We had both been moved, because we saw and acknowledged that we had both been through hard times and it was ok. We were ok, because of the love and kindness of others.

“Always show more kindness than seems necessary, because the person receiving it needs it more than you will ever know”  – Colin Powell

Do you think that when you look away, that you are trying to avoid connecting on purpose?  Have you put them into a “this person is not like me” bucket?  You might mentally label them as “street people”, “homeless”, “bums”, “addicts”, etc.  Putting them into some “other” category that says “not me”? It might be that you are afraid that you might be in their shoes someday? Like it is somehow catching? Are you judging them for somehow failing in life?

For myself, I find that usually if I am looking away it is because I feel inadequate to know how to help,  or at that moment I don’t have any cash on me which is what they are asking for.  So I avoid eye connection out of my own inadequacy.

“It’s really important to be able to receive love and receive compassion.  It is as important as being able to give it”  – Pema Chodron

Brene Brown in her book, “Rising Strong” relates it to not wanting to admit that you need others in your lives. That you can’t do it all alone. That you are afraid to receive, and so when others are asking for what they need in order to survive, it throws you for a loop. Because you don’t want to imagine having to depend on the kindness of others in order to survive.

“Sometimes people have a hard time receiving what they want.  Why?  Because they feel they don’t deserve it” –  Notes from Nora

I can identify with the difficulty of having the capacity to receive. In some areas of my life, I have no problem. I grew up as a hand me down family, so I have no problem with second hand furniture or clothes. However, if my needs are more personal, then it is another matter. Like if I can’t do it all myself, I am somehow a failure. I’m supposed to be the strong one, the giver – not the receiver.

“You are important enough to ask and you are blessed enough to receive back”  – Wayne Dyer

Someone once talked about this, and it really helped me adjust some of my attitude around this. They talked about hiring someone to clean your home. The way they looked at it, by hiring someone to come and clean your home, you were helping another woman help support her family, and why wouldn’t we want to do that? It really changed the thought from feeling guilty that I wasn’t super woman and doing everything myself, to I can help another person to support their family by hiring them to do my house cleaning or yard work.

“Many people love to give.  It’s a great feeling, and they do so with no expectation.  But they often are awful at receiving, and really deprive others of that joy of giving.  If given a gift, they say, “You shouldn’t have”, “It’s too much”, or the worst, “I feel bad that you got me this”.  Ouch.  This creates bad feelings during what should be a nice moment, and though their intent was to be selfless and polite, it is actually ungrateful.   When a gift is given, “thank you” says that they appreciate the time, consideration, and effort that person has already put forth.  Giving is virtuous, but so is accepting gifts gratefully”  – Doe Zantamata

You are not meant to “do it all by yourself”. You are driven by your need of community. The phrase, “it takes a village to raise a child” says it all. Open up your capacity to receive. Connect to others. Really see everyone you meet. That connection you make could be just what they need to get through to another day.

Be The Change You Want To See

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do.  Fail at it.  Try again. Do better the second time.  The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire.  This is your moment.  Own it”  – Oprah

In order to stand out, one must be different. I have always loved the saying “why fit in when you were born to stand out?” by Dr. Seuss. For me it was really hard to make this change, as I had spent most of my life being invisible.

I love using the analogy of a rainbow. It isn’t just made up of red, yellow, blue, green, pink, and purple. It is made up of 100 of shades of every color, and every mix of color imaginable. Take just the 1,000’s of shade combinations of purple in the rainbow. While you might think that no one will notice if one shade is not shining brightly, the rainbow is diminished in its beauty when that happens. It requires every single shade to be there, in order to be the beautiful promise of God. We require every one of you to shine brightly to deliver the promise of God, which he made when he sent you to this earth.

“Let excellence be your brand . . .  When you are excellent, you become unforgettable.  Doing the right thing, even when nobody knows you’re doing the right thing, will always bring the right thing to you”  – Oprah

At work the panel of lights over about 10 desks in a row for some reason turns itself off and on by itself.  Since we are surrounded by windows you don’t really notice as it slowly fades to the off position.  It does a gradual shut down.  But when it turns back on 20 minutes or so later, you really notice the brightness of the light.  I missed it subconsciously.  It is funny how while I always notice when the lights have turned back on, I don’t notice the gradual turning off.  I think that leadership is like this.  You may be busy doing your work and not notice right away when leadership is missing – but when it shows up, fully turned on, you notice right away.

Be Unstoppable, Create A Living Legacy

“Love is the bridge between you and everything that you desire”  – Rumi

You came into this world to learn, to experience what life is about, and to leave a legacy.  Moral integrity is a huge part of the story of your legacy.

“Your story is the greatest legacy that you will leave to your friends.  It’s the longest lasting legacy you will leave to your heirs” – Steve Saint

Have you seen the Tom Hanks movie, “Bridge of Spies”?  It is based on a true story, taking place after WWII.  I found it very interesting how he was able to stick to what he knew to be right, even when it endangered his life and that of his family. He didn’t just accept the self justification that most would of, “you do what you can, cut your losses and accept what is left”.

“You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved”  – Unknown

Because he was a man of high integrity and morals, he was able to do what no one else could do. He literally was able to move mountains, because of his moral integrity.  While he couldn’t prevent the guilty verdict for his client (he was guilty), he was able to maneuver the judge into a prison sentence instead of the death penalty. Then when his prediction came true about needing him for a future hostage negotiation, he was able to negotiate the return of an American pilot. And when destiny threw in a twist, he negotiated a second hostage return – a two for one, thereby freeing the innocent college student who got caught behind the Berlin Wall.

“Immortality is to live your life doing good things, and leaving your mark behind”  – Brandon Lee

Changing Your Thoughts, Changes Your World

“Much of the pain in life comes from having a life plan that you’ve fallen in love with, and when it doesn’t work out, you become angry that you now have to pursue a new life plan.  If you want to tame your inner demons, you must not become too attached to any particular life plan, and remain open to there being an even better happier life plan”  – Karen Salmansohn

Have you read Brene’ Brown’s book, Rising Strong?  I highly recommend it. In chapter six she talks about boundaries, integrity and generosity. She has this story about saying yes to a speaking job that she didn’t really want to do, but said yes to because they made her feel bad, like she was now too good to speak for them, now that she was famous.

“There will always be a reason why you meet people.  Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs” – Unknown

Then it turned out that she had to share a room with another speaker who was a stranger. Since she already wasn’t wanting to do any of this, of course the person she was sharing a room with drove her crazy.  It seemed like everything she did was specifically designed to upset her.

Now here is where the learning lesson was pretty interesting. When she got back home she went to her therapist about the whole thing because she was in such a rage about it. And the therapist said, “what if she (the other speaker) was doing that best that she could?”

“When you are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” – Viktor E. Frankl

The cover photo is how I see this quote from Wayne Dyer.  You have the two faces of the inner mind.  –  the inner sad face being the judge, with an slender thread of being self righteousness woven into it (you/they are not good enough) and the other face being resentment, (who do you/they think you are?). Neither one of those attitudes will bring you happiness with yourself or others.

“The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself.  The challenge is to silence the  mind” – Unknown

Yet there is a middle ground, the ground of “I am/they are doing the best that I/they can”.

These are the two stories in the chapter that I loved and totally identified with – this first story was about my expectations of others.  I had to learn not to expect others to do the same speed and quality of work that I do. All it did was frustrate me and make me angry, (they aren’t pulling their weight) and I was actually making them feel like they couldn’t do their job correctly, which was never my intention. The lesson from Brene’s book was: “Crap” as one man said, “if he’s really doing the best he can, I’m a total jerk, and I need to stop harassing him and start helping him.”

“Train your mind to see the good in everything.  Positivity is a choice.  The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts” – Marcandangel

The other story was something I came to acknowledge years ago with my own mom. She was one of those women who didn’t know how to deal with children and probably shouldn’t have had any – but she was a great best friend once you were of high school age or older. I just accepted my mom for who she was, the wonderful qualities she had, and stopped trying to force her to be the “TV mom with the perfect home”.

From Brene’ Brown’s book, one woman’s realization with her own mom issues –  “if this was true and my mother was doing the best she can, I would be grief stricken. I’d rather be angry than sad, so it’s easier to believe she’s letting me down on purpose, than to grieve the fact that my mother is never going to be who I need her to be.”

It really is finding a way to change the way you look at something. Shifting your perspective, shifts the meanings you are assuming and assigning to the situation.  It changes everything. When you come from the space that everyone is doing the best they can, there will be times when you get taken advantage of. But you can’t let that tiny minority rule your life.

“Smile despite the circumstances and laugh throughout the pain.  Life is full of hardships but it is how you deal with them that will, in the end, define you” – Unknown

What I know is that my life is better when I hold out the space for you to be the best that you can be. Somehow 99.99% of the people show up as the best that they can be, when I am in that space.

“When we know better, we do better” – Maya Angelou

Mystical Journeys

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware”  – Martin Buber

Going Beyond The Possible Is Where Wisdom Is Found

To me knowledge isn’t just about books, school, or job training – places where you learn something new. Sometimes you learn something that seems simple, but on closer examination you see how this one thought changes everything you knew. It turns your world upside down, because you realize that the story that you have been telling yourself was based on bad information.

It is like when you are watching a detective on a TV show solve a murder mystery.  All of the evidence seems to be pointed to the one person. Then they discover one clue and that whole shows shifts as they follow that thread to the real murderer.  Every new thing that we learn is like the thread. Unfortunately in real life, detective’s that refuse to see anything but their initial thought are the ones that put the wrong person in jail.

You need to be open to following the thread, no matter where it leads you.  You need to allow what you think you know for sure, to be flexible enough for you to let go of what no longer fits.  Don’t be like those detective’s that allow their pride, unconscious bias, or prejudices to keep them from catching the real bad guy.  The new information becomes the new belief.

“Knowledge without wisdom is like water in the sand” – Guinean Proverb

I remember that the church I went to when I was a teenager had a rumor going around that one of the women who attended had a new boyfriend. Someone had seen her at a restaurant hugging a strange man, and they had kissed each other. When she was finally asked about it, it took her a minute to realize that they were talking about her meeting her brother. He was passing through town and they met for dinner. The story was wrong. The truth changed the whole dynamic of what was witnessed. This happens in our schools with history, science, etc . .  where the school books become outdated.  New information is discovered that changes the story.

This makes this concept of learning new knowledge, and letting something go make perfect sense. Each new thing that you learn, usually requires an adjustment of your viewpoint or story around something. You take in the new knowledge, getting curious about it, and that is what I think leads to wisdom. Tennyson observed, “knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers”.  It is experience that takes the knowledge to a new level.  And we can only gain experience by either creating some sort of action around it, or watching as someone else creates an action around it.

“Doubt is the key to knowledge” – Proverb

Wisdom to me is more than just an observation. I have always said that I would rather learn from the mistakes of others than make them myself. If I see someone touch a hot stove and get burned, I am determined to make sure that the stove isn’t hot before I touch it. It is a process of following where the knowledge leads. Asking the “why” and the “what if” questions.  Not letting someone inform you that you can’t do it that way.

It involves looking at the way something “has always been done” and saying why?  Is there a way to improve this process or do it differently?  It is all about following multiple pathways to determine the best use of the knowledge.  This is how companies like Uber stepped in and changed an industry.  It is why Richard Branson ended up creating Virgin Airlines.  It is taking existing knowledge and saying, “What else is possible?” and then doing something about it.

They say that you can’t communicate or teach wisdom. I don’t know that I believe that entirely. I think that teaching stories do that if one is listening with an ear to, “how can I apply that in my life” kind of attitude. I agree that many people may not use that filter when they are listening, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t learn to.

There was a kind of fad years ago that started in the religious communities (I think?) where when you were going to make a decision you would ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”.  I remember this because my son who was in high school at the time and was a real joker, would say “What would  Chuck Norris do?”  It really doesn’t matter who your person is, as long as they have the kind of wisdom that you are trying to incorporate into your life.

• Wisdom stepping outside of the emotion you might be feeling at the moment.
• Wisdom is allowing the knowledge you have at the moment to settle down.
• Wisdom is stopping to think about potential courses of actions and possible consequences.
• Wisdom is thinking about both intended and unintended consequences.
• Wisdom is taking the time to examine and find the holes in your knowledge. (if you think that you don’t have any, think again).
• Wisdom is determining the best course of action based on all of the above.

If you can find a mentor that you think is a really wise person, (like Jesus) and ask yourself that question before you take action, wisdom will show up in your actions.

I think that imagination comes into play with Tennyson’s observation that “knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers”. If you take what you now know and play with it down the pathways of imagination, not only will wisdom be revealed, you have the opportunity to increase the knowledge with new discoveries.  This is where I think that some of the modern day inventions came down from the last century.

A writer dreamed up something fantastic for his story line.  Maybe it was Captain Nemo and the submarine and the deep sea divers.  Then a scientist read that story and said, “I think I can invent something like that”.  So they started experimenting and through trial and error came up with something.  It wasn’t yet what he really wanted, but it was a first step.

Other brilliant minds got involved and we ended up with all kinds of inventions for moving through the seas and exploring the deeps.  But it all began in the mind of someone who was using his imagination for a story to tell.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see” –  Henry David Thoreau

So learn something new everyday. Use your imagination, be curious and see what pathways it leads you down. Be adventurous, always seek out the “why”. Miracles will happen if you use your energy to bring your dreams into reality. Live your life fully into the possibilities of “What if?” and “Why not?”. Remember that you are made of stardust and shine brightly.

Native American Wisdom

May the sun bring you new energy by day.  May the moon softly restore you by night.  May the rain wash away your worries.  May the breeze blow new strength into your being.  May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.

  – Apache Blessing

In my family we have a story that has been passed down through the generations.  My great great grandmother was orphaned at a young age.  She was adopted into a family and they decided to immigrate out west on the Oregon Trail.  Somewhere along what is now Wyoming and Idaho, the wagon train was raided and my great great grandmother was taken captive.  The family story only talks about her being a child, but not an age.  She grew up and had two little girls.  One day a French Canadian Trapper was trading with this tribe and spotted her.  Late that evening he snuck back into the Indian camp and was able to get her alone.  He asked if she wanted to return to her people.  She said yes, but she wouldn’t leave without her daughters.  So they made arrangements to meet the next day.

For two days my great grandmother traveled in the back of the wagon hidden in an old barrel.  She was told not to make a sound or they would all be killed.  After two days the trapper felt safe enough to let the girls out of the barrel.  They ended up near Eugene, Oregon.  My grandfather would not admit that he was part Indian.  He was too ashamed.  He feared the prejudice.  By contrast his sisters kids all attended the Indian School.

Like the grasses showing tender faces to each other, thus should we do, for this was the wish of the Grandfathers of the World.

  – Black Elk

My husband family has a story that is recorded in the Indian Archives of his Great Great Grandfather, who was a Cherokee Indian living in Georgia when the Trail of Tears happened.  His story is of an American Indian who married a white woman with the last name of Tisdale.  They had one son.  Love Deer, my husbands ancestor was the sheriff in their town.  He saw what was happening after gold was discovered in the Indians land.  He saw the hardship of the “relocation” of the Indians of his tribe.  He saw finally that no matter how “white” he became it would never be good enough and he knew that the day had finally come when he would be forced to relocate with his family.

Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make for our children.

 –  Sitting Bull

Instead he took his rifle and went out into the woods.  He lodged the rifle in a tree and shot and killed himself.  He knew that his wife’s family would be able to keep her safe if he was gone.  The whole story was recorded when my husbands Great Grandfather came of age and wanted to get his Cherokee Citizenship.  It is all handwritten from several different families, some who were relatives and some who personally knew the story.

As you develop your awareness in nature, you begin to see how we influence all life and how all life influences us.  A key and critical feature for us to know.

  – Tony Ten Fingers

So there came a time when both of us wanted to become more familiar with our heritage.  I always thought that the two of us falling in love with stories from opposite sides of the fence was like the circle being completed.  A time of making everything whole.

By awakening the Native American teachings you come to the realization that the earth is not something simply that you build upon and walk upon and drive upon and take for granted.  It is a living entity.  It has consciousness.

  – Edgar Cayce

I know that this photo is not of an Apache Indian, but it was the closest I could find that fit the prayer.  What my husband and I both discovered is the wisdom of our ancestors was so in tune with the earth.  Whenever one group of people would go to subjugate another, they would justify their wars with how the people were savages, heathens, and somehow a lessor species of mankind.  When you read the stories of Black Elk, and others.  When you read about what the white man did to the Indians in order to destroy them, the term savages takes on a whole new meaning.

When you are inspired to be and do your best, you find everything is right in your world.  Your influence is operating at its highest level and it is the time to influence others in gratitude.

  – Tony Ten Fingers

Just like all peoples, they had very wise men, and they had hot headed men of war.  Every story has my version, your version, and then another and another version to it.  What has to happen at some point in time, is that all become committed to peace.  History can’t be changed.  Those impacted by it are dead.  Those of us who are ancestors carry the history with us.  But that history doesn’t have to become a heavy weight that destroys us still to this day.  It isn’t what the wise men taught.  These are just a few of my favorite quotes, because they are ageless and you would have thought that they belonged to a spiritual master living today. Good wisdom never becomes dated and it is advice we all need to think about for our own lives.

The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of the people when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells the Wakan-Tanka (the Great Spirit), and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.  This is real peace, and the others are but reflections of this.

The second peace is that which is made between two individuals.

The third is that which is made between two nations.

But above all you should understand  that there can never be peace between nations until there is known that true peace, which as I have often said,. is within the souls of men.

  – Black Elk

Warriors are not what you think of as warriors.  The warrior is not someone who fights, because no one has the right to take another life.  The warrior, for us, is one who sacrifices himself for the good of others.  His task is to take care of the elderly, the defenseless, those who can not provide for themselves, and above all, the children, the future of humanity.

  – Sitting Bull

It was our belief that the love of possessions is a weakness to be overcome.  Its appeal is to the material part, and if allowed its way, it will in time disturb one’s spiritual balance.  Therefore, children must early learn the beauty of generosity. They are taught to give what they prize most, that they may taste the happiness of giving.

  – Ohiyesa (Charles Alexander Eastman)

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The Road To Success Is Discovered By Trying One More Time

Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer.

  – Unknown

The mind and the eye are an interesting thing to think about in regards to our dreams.  The eye sees so much more than the mind can allow in.  We all have what is known as a reticular activator which acts as a filter for our brains.  What the eyes sees gets filtered into things that form a picture in our mind or what we are seeing.

Think about certain things that happen in your life.  Two examples might be getting pregnant (you or your significant other) or buying a new car.  When we aren’t getting a new car or pregnant, we are not interested in those things.  Our reticular activator screens that information away from us – because it isn’t something we are paying attention to.

But the minute we are pregnant we start seeing pregnant women everywhere we go.  We didn’t see any yesterday and now today already we have seen five pregnant women.  Same thing with buying that new car.  Driving down the freeway in our new car, we are passing or being passed by people driving a car just like ours.  We go shopping and see two cars just like ours parked in the lot.  Where were they yesterday?  They were there, they were just being filtered out.

Someday everything will all make perfect sense.  So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.

  – Unknown

I bring this up because we tend to make judgments about how things are working out by what we see with our physical eyes and mind.  But they can’t be 100% reliable because of our filtering system.  So sometimes this is why the heart and mind are in disagreement.  The heart isn’t being filtered by what the eyes see.  It sees from a totally different perspective.  It knows the blueprint of our dreams.  It looks only for ways to bring those dreams into reality.  So it makes plans, not on filtered information, but on information imprinted on our heart by God.

The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long.

  – Unknown

I think that a lot of what becomes that one dream that drives us is because of our own life experience.  If we were lonely children, we tend to want to make sure that other children are never lonely.  That could mean that we are teachers, or in some way child advocates.  Maybe we entered the field of being a therapist.  Maybe we adopted children or work as a foster parent.  In some way, our career, our bent in how we live life would grow in such a way that we could help children not be lonely.  Whatever “damage” we feel in our lives, comes out in a compassionate way of helping others never having to suffer the way that we have.

I’m a damaged person, but I have hope and a will to not give up.

  – Juliana Hatfield

Hope is what keeps us going.  Our hope keeps us strong.  There are hills and valleys on every journey.  We have to travel through swamps and deserts.  Hope helps us motivate towards our goal.  When the rains come, the winds blow and the lightning strikes, we may have to take cover and rest until the storm passes, but that doesn’t mean that we are quitting.  We never give up our hope no matter how hard the situation is right now.

A strong person is not the one who doesn’t cry.  A strong person is the one who cries and sheds tears for a moment, then gets up and fights again.

  – Unknown

Sometimes that hope is just a thread, but as long as we act like it is a strong rope we can keep hope alive.  In watching a series called “Home Fires” there is a scene where the parents get that telegram stating that their son has been lost at sea during a battle in WWII.  The wife gets it and because she can’t bear to read it, she hides it in the kitchen.  If she doesn’t see the words, they won’t be true.  The husband finds it and is devastated, and confronts her.  He opens it and reads it and she looks at him with hope in her eyes.  It didn’t say he was dead – it said lost at sea.

Never give up until you’ve given out all your very best.  It’s better to fail trying than wondering what could have happened if you tried . . .

  –  Unknown

 There is a part of us that says, there is no way her son is still alive.  There is another part of us that clings to hope.  That clings to all of the miracle stories we have heard when someone survives something they shouldn’t have survived.  What you have to determine in your heart, is what kind of person do you want to be?  The person that hopes and prays for a miracle, or the person who has no hope.

Keep the faith.  The most amazing things in life tend to happen right at the moment you’re about to give up hope.

  – Unknown

In the past few months we have seen a lot of turmoil in our world.  There may be days when the news stories make you sad, disappointed, heartbroken or even scarred with what seems to be so much hatred being played out in the papers, TV and online.  Remember our reticular activator when everything seems so depressing.  What do we have our filters programed to see?

Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.

  – Camille Pissarro

The kindness that is happening in front of us; that we can find it we look for it online, and in the news.  Or do we have it programmed to find signs of racial hatred, unrest, violence.  The saying is that our life is directed by what we pay attention to.  So we need to make sure that those filters are showing us mankind’s wonderful qualities – they are there.  They just aren’t what sells papers or gets the ratings.  I think that one of the greatest things we could shift in our world is that – the ratings came from stories that reflects the wonderful things that happen around the world on a daily basis.  That we didn’t sensationalize the less than 1% and ignore the 99%.

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It’s Not The Mountain We Conquer, It’s Ourselves

Without new experiences, something inside of us sleeps.  The sleeper must awaken.

  – Frank Herbert

It is kind of funny that when we at a certain stage of our journey on life’s path, we have a pat answer for what the life of your dreams is.  We would have the house in that certain neighborhood.  The beach house.  Or maybe we are a big dreamer and we wanted to own an island.  We would have that certain kind of convertible sports car.  The decked out pickup truck.  Maybe we would want a farm with race horses.  What ever the list has on it, it would all be summed up with material possessions.

Sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had.

  – Unknown

Then something happens.  It could be the loss of everything from a flood.  It could be that our soul partner in life dies from cancer.  It could be our son or daughter is killed by a drunk driver.  Something dreadful happens and we realize that all of those “things” are not us living the life of our dreams. 

Be that strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst, be that fearless girl, the one who would dare to do anything, be that independent girl who didn’t need a man; be that girl who never backed down.

  – Taylor Swift

My own story comes from the murder of my nephew.  What the wake up call did for me was to realize that the life of my dreams was to contribute in some way.  I thought I would make a small change with creating LemonadeMakers.  That might contribute towards helping society shift away from the hatred and violence.  To shift away from living in fear.  To transform their lives in helping them to wake up to the truth of their own lives.

The magic recipe for living out your boldest dreams:  A pinch of delusion, a dash of audacity and a shot of courage.

  – Kirsty Spraggon

My own recipe would be to say that there really is no big secret on how to live the life of your dreams.  You just need to breathe.  Let go.  And know that this one single moment in time, is the only thing promised.  So I thought up my own magical dream bold recipe::

Dream Ingredients are like the eggs, oil and milk in a recipe that help to bind the ingredients together. Put Imagination; Inspiration; faith In a bowl and mix well.

Active Action Ingredients are like the yeast, or baking powder that cause the mixture to rise and grow outside the comfort zone.  Put Self confidence; Implementation; Determination; Action; Perseverance; Patience into another bowl and mix well.

Magical ingredients are what create the taste and flavor that is special only to you.  Put all of your time, talents, gifts, your personal genius and your inspired passion into a bowl and mix well.

Now mix all of the ingredients together whipping with clarity where needed.  Taste and add additional seasoning as needed – shots of courage – a dash of daring – a pinch of adventure – a spoonful of risk – several spoonful’s of laughter – if it doesn’t add zest to the recipe it doesn’t belong in the recipe. 

Put the mixture into the “never stop believing” pan.

Bake until the impossible has become the reality.  Share your “Never Stop Believing Dreams” with everyone you meet.  Taste their dreams. Share your best secret ingredients.  Experiment with theirs.

 The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.

  – Paulo Coelho

If you are a baker you know that timing is critical.  Solid even heating is important.  And sometimes even with the best ingredients, a soufflé falls flat.  Sometimes you realize halfway through the baking cycle, that you forgot some important ingredient.  Sometimes life just happens.  Just because the recipe didn’t work out as planned doesn’t mean that your dreams have forever fallen apart.  You can always bake a new cake or soufflé.  Your dream doesn’t need rescuing.  You just need to try again.  You can always bake a new reality.

Between your dreams and your reality, there is no distance.  There is no time.  Wake up to your dreams.  Live them as the reality that they are.

  – Unknown

What that meant for me personally was to wake up myself and realize that I wasn’t really living the life of my dreams.  I was just working to pay for stuff.  I realized that I could help others to wake up too.  To imagine a new story for all of us.  While the story is different for each of us, it begins the same.  Discover and uncover who you really are at the soul level.  It is a journey to remember who I was, before the world told me who I had to be.  To let that person come out and create your new story.  For me it has meant stepping out of my comfort zone again and again.  Following the vision, I am as surprised at who I have become.  I am amazed at who I am still becoming. 

So – follow your instincts.  Be curious.  Dream Big!  Love what you do.  Love learning.  Keep an OPEN HEART and a STRONG SPIRIT.  And Most of All – HAVE FUN!

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Visualization Is Key To Communicate With The Soul

“Hope is the thing with feathers – that perches in the soul – and sings the tune without the words – and never stops – at all” – Emily Dickenson

Hope is perching on your soul and sings to you every day. It tells you these wonderful stories of what you can accomplish in your life. Visualization is critical to hope, as it draws in everything you want in your lives. Hope is what keeps you going when you seem to be failing in bringing your vision into reality.

“I always think it’s important to constantly visualize success, but to consider failure, even for a second, so you can be prepared if things don’t work out just as planned” – Jen Gotch

3M was trying to create super strong adhesives when they accidentally created the glue on “Post it Notes”.  For years they couldn’t figure out how to use this glue in a commercial way. 

Then came a second accident.  One of their employees who sang in a church choir put the glue on a piece of paper so that he wouldn’t lose his place in the hymnal for the songs they were singing.  He discovered it could be removed and put back on without destroying the paper. 

Then employees used it for over 3 years experimenting with it before they started to market it.  Today it is one of their top selling products.  So just because you might fail at what you are trying to bring into reality, doesn’t mean it really is a failure – sometimes it is even better than what you were trying to create.

In the movie “The Secret” and the book that followed it, they talked about visualization. Many people will tell you that they have a hard time visualizing. 

If I tell you not to picture “your kitchen”, 99% of you immediately see your kitchen in your minds eye. It is a little harder to build a visualization of something that you have never seen, but block by block, with practice it can be done.

“By visualizing information, we turn it into a landscape that you can explore with your eyes, a sort of information map.  And when you’re lost in information, an information map is kind of useful” – David McCandless

A good question to ask yourself when you’re lost is – “What is the task I now face in my journey?”

It seems easy to get lost in the search for meaning in your life.  Having meaning in your life isn’t some grand purpose of changing the world around you.  It’s about being in right relationship with the world around you.

A different question to ask, is “what is my soul wanting to express through me?”

This gets to the heart of your belief of what your destiny or purpose in life is.  Visualization is key to unlocking that door of opportunity.  Taking the time daily to meditate and allow your soul the space to talk to you is critical to obtaining the key to the deeper questions in your life.

This really helped me to connect deeper to my imagination. When I read books, I now see the story in my mind. The sun shining on the ocean as it flashes bright lights along the cresting waves.  I hear the waves crashing on the shoreline.  I feel the wind blowing and as I dig my toes down into the cool part of the sand, I smell the salt air, the tangy taste of it in the wind.  As I described this did you enter into my visualization?

I can totally enter the world being created by the author. When I am in this space, I see connections and possibilities that I have never thought of before.

This is how I learn from everything that I read, because I enter into a world I have no experience of. I love it when a really good movie or book brings you totally into the world they have created. You forget what you’re experiencing isn’t real.

“If you want to reach a goal, you must see the reaching in your own mind before you actually arrive at your goal” – Zig Ziglar

I am sure that you heard the joke of the man who was on his rooftop during a flood.  The water was cresting higher and higher, as it inched up towards the top of the roof he had climbed.  He was sitting there waiting for rescue. He prayed to God for help. 

So, God sends him three chances for help.  The first one was some people with a canoe telling him to come down and get in the canoe.  “No thanks, God is sending me help” he tells them. Then God sends him some people with a motorboat telling him to climb on board and be saved.  “No thanks, God is sending me help” he tells them.  Then God sends him a helicopter and they lower down a ladder, and for the third time he says to his potential rescuers, “no thanks, God is sending me help”.

As the flood waters come higher, they eventually swamp the roof, and the man drowns. Upon entering heaven, he asks God, “why didn’t you save me?” God says, I sent a canoe, a motorboat and a helicopter, but you refused to get in.  We don’t know with the joke what sort of help he was expecting.  We just know that he kept declining the opportunity to save his life.  Maybe he had no idea, and so with no real visualization he didn’t recognize the opportunities.

Visualization is how you can attract the things you need, to bring your goals and dreams into reality. You have to remember that part of your journey, is the lessons you learn along the way.  By visualizing how you can grow and change, you speed toward our destination. By visualizing into the space, the gratitude of already having it, and using all of the senses in the visualization – you make it so real, that the divine opens doors of opportunity for you to receive it.

Synchronicity will bring it into your life. You have to take the risk; you have to grab the opportunity.  If you won’t get into the boat – then it goes past you and is gone.

The most important thing for you is to look for the doors and opportunities and grab them. Go through those doors, no matter how scared you are. Take the leap of faith that this is your answer.  Climb the ladder being presented.  Get into the helicopter.

Don’t Just Color Within The Lines, Draw New Lines And Make New Colors

To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow.  So do it.  – Kurt Vonnegut

• Do you remember when you were little and you felt free to experiment?
• When you didn’t comprehend failure?
• How you lived in the moment, and it was enough to just be?
• Before you were made to conform and color inside the lines?
• Can you remember when you could see things that other people didn’t see?

To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind, amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.  –  Jill Botte Taylor

 Her life improved dramatically, when she decided to break the rules and find beauty where she’d been told there was none.  – Ashlin Nawel Habes

We Have The Power, Freedom And Courage To Change

“Don’t force yourself to fit in where you don’t belong” – Unknown

“Whatever the new beginning is for you right now, allow yourself to be swept away by the sweet freedom that comes with it.  Growth is around the corner” – Amanda Christian

“Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once.  Breathe.  You’re strong.  You got this.  Take it day by day”  – Karen Salmansohn