We Can Go Further Than We Think
Years ago, when I was young, I had opinions on what would I do, if “such and such” happened in my life. I think that when most of us hear of an experience that someone has, we think “well if that happened to me, this is what I would do”.
You might not agree with the decision that another has made, when your imagined scenario happens to them. But you have no idea why they made the choice they made. You don’t know all of the circumstances and limitations they were facing.
The lemons that life gives you are not supposed to paralyze you. They are not supposed to make you bitter. They are not supposed to make you give up on life. They happen to help you dig down deep and discover what you are capable of.
“Who I am and what I am capable of doing has always managed to surprise me” – Jodi Picoult
When life does hand you lemons (your imagined scenario), and you are the one trying to make lemonade out of it, many times you come to a totally different decision.
There are many reasons for this. Each of life’s lemons come to you wrapped up in a different series of circumstances. You could look at multiple experiences of someone losing a loved one to violence, and you would find that each instance was handled in a different way.
While the label may be the same “man killed by random shooting”, the circumstances in each case tell their own unique story.
In 1995 Tariq a pizza delivery man was shot and killed by a 14-year-old gang member. Initially Azim, Tariq’s father could barely function. But he came to understand that the 14 yr. old boy named Tony who killed his son, was also a victim.
He felt called to forgive Tony and became friends with Tony’s grandfather and guardian. He started a foundation to help kids stop killing other kids. He began talking with kids in schools about the realities of that lifestyle and the importance of making right choices.
“From the onset, I saw victims on both ends of the gun. I will mourn Tariq’s death for the rest of my life. Now, however, my grief has been transformed into a powerful commitment to change. Change is urgently needed in a society where children kill children” – Azim, Tariq’s Father
He made lemonade out of his lemons. This foundation (http://tkf.org/) has grown into an organization of 13 full time staff members and 30 volunteers that mentor over 20,000 students each year. In the article I read, in 13 years they had touched eight million kids (this same foundation is now over 24 years old).
But I would bet that if you had asked him if this were the road he would take if someone killed his son, this is not the answer he would have given. His unknown road that he journeyed on revealed what kind of man he truly was. This is forgiveness in action.
You are on a road, a journey to discover who you really are. What you are capable of becoming.
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path” – Buddha
Azim saved himself by walking the path of true forgiveness. He wanted to not only prevent other innocents from being killed, but he also wanted to save those other victims – “kids” becoming killers themselves. His difficult road has led to a beautiful destination – saving others.
What I have learned in life, is to hope that I can emulate the grace I see in others’ lives, as they grapple with life’s lemons. That until I find myself in that same hard place, I don’t really know what my decision will be. I do know that there is no turning back. So, each decision needs to be made in prayer and meditation, with that understanding.
The challenge is not just discovering who I am
but loving what I find.
What can you learn from the lemons in your own life?
- To never allow someone to make you swallow your soul and make you feel small.
- To never dam up the words in your heart that are crying to be released.
- Don’t apologize for your imperfections, you are perfectly imperfect.
- Don’t allow the darkness of others to cover up your light, share it with everyone instead.
- Trust your intuition, it is always right.
- Live a more courageous life.
Who are you?
A person of deep strength who keeps walking the path, knowing that new wonders are going to be revealed right around the next bend.
When Life Challenges You, Hold Your Head Up High And Ride That Wave To The Shore
Our feelings and emotions can at times be overwhelming. I remember when my mom passed away, that in the evenings I would get deluged with emotions of missing her, being mad at her for dying, hurting so much that I just crawled into a ball and cried until I couldn’t breathe. There are times in your life, when your whole body is crying in such deep pain, that it takes everything you have just to take another breath. It feels as though your soul is on fire. It is hard to remember that feelings are just visitors, and we can let them visit, and then let them go back out the door they came in.
An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship, unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down, unless you allow it to get inside of you.
– Goi Nasu
Like a person surfing the waves, we can learn to ride these overwhelming emotions. We may crash and fall off our board, but we can choose to get right back on and ride the next wave. To me riding the wave is allowing the emotion to flow right through us, just as the wave reaches the shore and dissipates into nothing.
Life is like riding a wave. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.
– Eric Carlson
Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows. I think the reason that grief or anger can get us stuck in these emotions, is because we don’t allow the emotions to flow through. They can get caught in a rip tide inside of us. We fight releasing them until we are exhausted. Sometime we struggle and we battle ourselves, denying how we are really feeling. Other time we wallow in these emotions, holding them to our hearts and refusing to let them flow. Either way they will keep pushing us to the shore and then dragging us back out to sea, until we are so exhausted, that the rough surf literally beats us into the sand.
Allowing the emotions to pass through helps us to heal from the hurt. We recover much faster, and we can begin choosing good memories to dwell on. We can progress into appreciation for the time that we had with what we have lost. The truth is that we haven’t really lost anything. People and things come into our lives, serve their purpose or reason for being there, and then move on to the next thing. The important thing is that we had them in our lives for the time they were with us.
When we have a bad memory come up, we can just ride the wave to the shore, and then consciously allow it to fade into foam and dissipate. It doesn’t have to drag us back out again. We can release the hold we have on it, and let the feeling fade away. As the last bubble of the foam pops, then it is time to let it go. Then we can consciously decide that we want to raise our vibrations up into higher levels. We can raise the vibration out from the sadness, grief, or anger. We can start attracting good feelings into our space. We always have a choice, even when we think that we don’t.
When stress and bad days hit, we are designed to reach out for the help we need. But our natural tendency is to withdraw instead. We shut down, hole up, limit ourselves to our own little worlds.
– Holley Gerth.
It is important when the bad days hit, to reach out to someone we love and let them help us.
Allow yourself to really feel, your feelings. It’s okay to bare your soul, breakdown or cry because through that breakdown comes your breakthrough.
– Rashida Rowe.
Letting those who love us help us, is practicing self care. It is reflecting back to those who love us, how much we love and trust them to be with us in our hour of need. And sometimes when those that we love say they are okay, we need to hold them tight and look them in the eyes and tell them that we know that they are not okay. And that in itself is okay, because we are going to keep holding them tight until they can breathe on their own again.
Taking a few deep belly breaths, placing our hands on our heart, and consciously reaching for something that will help us raise our awareness into something positive. I always think of the laughing baby when the dad tears the paper video or cute kittens and puppies, or a favorite song like Pharrell Williams “Happy” song. Music has the wonderful ability to speak to us, to express what is in our hearts, that we can’t express in words. As the “Happy” songs says, “happiness is the truth”.
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Leave Fear Behind You, Face Everything And Rejoice
Women who run with wolves have discovered something about themselves, that allows them to leave behind the fear that is expressed because of going outside the comfort zone. See beauty in being able to walk alone or with the pack. Because you are unafraid, you may be called names by those who will fear you. Labels like defiant, incorrigible, impossible, wild and untamed by society. Wear these labels with pride.
When you live with fear, you will always be “Finding-Excuses-And-Reason
You don’t think that you have the courage; that you don’t deserve it; that you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You have bought into being small. Bought into not taking up a lot of space. Bought into being unworthy. It is not your true nature. It is not who you are deep in your heart. It is not who you are yearning to be. Do not become an endangered species. Do not muffle your soul for the sake of others.
For women who run with wolves, you have discovered S.E.L.F. which stands for Sacred-Empowered-Liberated-Self Care
She sees herself as a Sacred being
She sees herself as an Empowered being
She sees herself as a Liberated being
She sees herself as a Fearless being.
- She runs with a vast community of souls, who hold and support her.
- She knows as a sacred being she is never, ever, truly alone.
- She is honored as a wisdom keeper, an empowered being that has grounded herself into the earth. Her roots run deep into the earth and support the work she does in the world.
- She knows that she is a liberated woman who came to this earth to free those who have become shackled to the stories of not being good enough, pretty enough, or worthwhile.
- She is fearless because for her the word fear is a word of high integrity, because for her it means Face-Everything-And-Rejoice (a transformed definition of fear).
Her purpose is to remind others of their own sacred agreements they came here to fulfill. Of the love they have for each other. To free them from their self made chains and fulfill their own purpose in being here.
She knows that she can be grateful for each fear that is faced down and transformed into something wonderful. She is rejoicing because she is working with others out in the world to build a bridge to shift our world from the challenges we see happening today, into a place of unity, love and trust.
If you can change your definition of the word fear, you can change your world.
To fearless women, I am honored to be your sister.
Below is a copy of my poem which expresses these thoughts.
The wolf howls at the moon, not out of loneliness,
As he knows he is one with the universe.
He howls out of gratitude to be a member of the pack.He remembers those he has traveled with in past lives,
He sees those he is traveling with again.
He rejoices in his vast community of souls, knowing that he is truly never alone.The great spirit has honored the wolf with a voice that sings out in the darkness.
He honors the great spirit by singing to us,
“Do not be afraid, for you are not alone”
“I am here, and I remember you even if you have forgotten”.Like the wolf I sing out to you, through my words on a page I say,
“I remember you, for we have traveled together before.”
I honor you that you have come again to do the great work before us.Call out together with me as we gather our relatives that have forgotten their purpose.
Call to their minds our sacred agreement to meet at this time and place.
Whisper to them of the great love we have for each other and their hearts will remember.Gather around as we build the bridge of knowledge and understanding.
This bridge will unite all peoples together in love
This bridge is shifting our world into a new age of unity, love and trust.We are one,
One love, I love us
One trust, I trust us,
I honor our sacred agreements, I am here.
Face the fears that are keeping you locked out of your destiny. Unlock your cages and use those divine gifts with purpose to not only shift and change your world, but the entire world. Come and renew yourself. Find your voice and howl at the moon!
We Are Victorious Over Fear
We crash. We burn, and we get back up stronger, more resilient, and more determined than ever before. We are not victims, we are victorious.
– Garrett Paknis
With each step we add something to our life or, we release something out of our life. That is how change and transformation works. It is taking that step. That step towards our dreams. We don’t look behind us and waste our energy in feeding our fears. We just keep taking another step. Each thing that we release out of our life is something that no longer brings us joy. It no longer serves us. It might be that it is something that we have outgrown. Or it may be made up of disappointments. Something that feels like a failure or setback. We take out the lesson we needed and we release the rest. It is all the parts of the illusion that we are burning away. Those so called losses do not define who you are in reality. Only in fears illusion do they hold any power.
There is no illusion greater than fear.
– Lao Tzu
When we don’t release the illusions we can become frustrated with our life. Frustration is like damming up the river. It tries to keep flowing, but it gets stopped by the dam. At some point the water rises up to the top of the dam. Then it starts to trickle over. It isn’t yet free flowing. We start to realize that the dam is the problem. It is at this point of recognition, that we can at last redirect the energy of the river, to burn away the illusion of the dam, and begin to flow freely again to the sea. When your passion and your purpose are greater than your fears and excuses, you will find a way.
Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving; we get stronger and more resilient.
– Dr Steve Maraboli
When we can at last see through the illusion of fear, we begin to get bold enough to use our voice to speak our truth. We can be brave enough to listen to the voice of our heart, to our intuition, our souls voice. And we can be strong enough to finally live our life’s purpose with full out passion. We are willing to be vulnerable enough, to be split open and let all our insides spill out onto the table. We are strong enough to be who we really are. To fully expose the parts of us that we had hidden away from fear of being seen. The phrase “do not be afraid” is written in the bible 365 times. A daily reminder to be fearless. So start everyday with this reminder to be fearless, breathing in the faith of walking with courage and fulfilling your divine purpose..
Fear is always triggered by creativity, because creativity asks you to enter into realms of uncertain outcome, and fear hates uncertain outcome. This is nothing to be ashamed of, it is, however, something to be dealt with.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
It is not letting our dreams be deferred to “Someday Isle”. Someday I will have the time; someday I will have the money; someday when the kids are grown and through college. Instead we trace our stories to their roots. We liberate our soul to fulfill our dreams. It isn’t about “what happened to me” (see my pain and feel sorry for me), it is what we choose to do with life’s experiences. It is about look at who I have become, what I “chose” to become. What treasure we found within the experience, the hidden gem. It is about how it has exposed the better me that was hiding inside of it.
The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and the rains and scorching sun.
– Napoleon Hill
It is pausing as you inhale the breath. To pause listening to the question in the space of the pause. To hearing the answer with the exhalation of the breath. There in that space, is the creative spirit. It is waiting to take you by the hand. To walk the road of fulfillment of the dream. There in that space is the taste of possibilities. It is how that creativity bubbles to the top when we take the time to just breathe and listen.
We get a glimpse in that space of where we are heading. It invites us to plunge into the river and flow to the sea. To learn to dance down life’s road. Be curious, make great discoveries. Observe how the unknown can become joyful.
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Listen To The Heart
What’s life without a little risk?
– J.K. Rowling
Life is about taking risks. Every choice is in reality a risk. A risk of achieving something great and wonderful; a risk of failure; a risk of not doing or doing the right thing. The great secret of the phrase, “taking a risk”, is that no matter what happens, we get something wonderful. If we take a risk and it turns out just like we wanted, we are happy. If we take a risk, and it doesn’t turn out well, we still have something wonderful from the experience, we have knowledge, experience, and the combination of those two things is wisdom. We can then look at what we tried to do, remove a piece, tinker with it, add something new and try again. The only way to truly fail, is to do nothing, to risk nothing.
And then there is the most dangerous risk of all – the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.
– Randy Komisar
Being wise beyond our fears, means recognizing that the true directions of the heart, require no words. There is simply a knowing inside. It just feels better, when we go in the direction of the heart. When you make the decision based on the hearts guidance, you feel the weight of the decision slide off your shoulders. There is no second guessing.
To live your greatest life, you must first become a leader within yourself. Take charge of your life. Begin attracting and manifesting all that you desire in life.
– Sonia Ricotti
When you say the words out loud, that only your soul has dared to whisper to the heart, that is when miracles happen. The declaration, both verbal and written gives notice to the divine that you are listening. Listen to your dreams. That is when you open to the unexpected, and miracles happen. When your mind and heart is too filled with the worlds noise, your dreams may be the only way that your souls whisper can be heard by the heart.
Let your heart be your guide on all things, but you have to listen closely because it speaks so softly.
– John St. Augustine
Each whisper of the soul to your heart speaks of the next leg of your journey. There are times on your journey when experience and reason tell you not to follow that path. Your mind sees the risks and wants to play it safe. But you have to give it a try. I’ve always loved the play on words – when you find yourself “now here” instead of “no where” is that moment of just being. That moment of space of being fully conscious, because you have to be fully conscious to hear the whispers of your heart.
Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.
– Unknown
When you don’t listen to the whispers of the soul to your heart, sooner or later, that whisper turns into a scream. When the whisper has turned to screaming in desperation, it is usually a sign that your life is about to shift into some sort of test. This comes about because instead of listening to your own heart, you are playing it safe. Playing it safe, is being a diamond in the ruff. A raw diamond looks a lot like common quartz, it is cloudy looking.. But cut it perfectly and shine it up, and everyone knows it is a diamond. We all have these exceptional qualities and potential. But we are afraid to stand out from the crowd, and so we hide ourselves, even from ourselves. Everybody wants to be a diamond, but very few are willing to get cut.
Take risks in your life. If you win, you can lead. If you lose, you can guide.
– Swami Vivekananda
It is so easy to become focused on others instead of ourselves. We get pushed and pulled in all directions by our work, our friends and our families. When those that we are surrounded by see us listening to our heart, they get scared. Changes that you make in your life, will impact theirs. They are afraid of many things, but primarily that you may out grown them. That you will leave them behind.
The only difference between fear and excitement is your attitude about it.
– Unknown
Don’t let their fears break your soul. They may try to expose your shadows, your imperfections, the things that lurk inside of you with feelings of shame or guilt. They are just trying to stop you from listening to the heart. God has put into our hearts, an intuitive guidance system to guide us to what we need, the next step on our path. Follow that guidance. When you do, you will know it because your heart will be at peace. Even the most painful and difficult decisions are correct, if the heart is at peace with it.
Take charge of your choices. Choose to look up, when life presses you down. Choose to smile, when life frowns at you. Choose victory, over defeat.
– Unknown
Be wise beyond your fears ,and keep heading towards your glorious destiny. If the dream keeps reappearing in your thoughts, go for it. That is destiny calling you and it is always worth the price of admission.
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What if,…..?
“Nothing is a coincidence. Everything you’re experiencing is meant to happen exactly how it’s happening. Embrace the lessons. Be grateful” – www.livelifehappy.com
- What if,…. all the answers are deep within my soul, calling to me – but I am not listening?
- What if,… there are no mistakes, and every experience that you have is to your benefit?
- What would happen to the stories that you tell yourself and others about your life, if you reframed them to your benefit?
- What would happen if you had never been a victim, but was instead an adventurer who was experiencing all that life has to offer?
- How would word a reframe, shift and change your life?
- What if,… it was all “good”?
“Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant” – Horace Mann
The first thing I thought, was well some pretty bad things have happened – how can I just reframe it, to “it’s all good”? I can do it if I can construct a framework that reflects a pattern that strings each thing together, like a string of pearls. Each experience can be examined like an individual pearl. Remember how a pearl is created? It is an object that irritates the mussels, so that they begin putting a covering over the irritation, which becomes a pearl. Mussels do this as part of their defense mechanism. So what kind of covering can you put over every “bad” experience that turns it into a pearl? How freeing is it to think, that you have the ability to cover over any bad experience and make it into something priceless?
“Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live” – Robert Kennedy
Sometimes you can become so enamored with the tragedy, that you drag it around with you everywhere you go. You stand up and testify to how life has done you wrong, and just look at what has happened to you. You proudly present your wounds as though they are medals of honor. What if instead…, tragedy was a tool of destiny to liberate you from the falsehood of fate, which lets fear determine your choices.
What if, … you have a divine blueprint written down in your soul, and now is the time to wake up and start creating the life you are meant to be living?
“There is a force within which gives you life, seek that. In your body lies a priceless gem, seek that. O wandering soul, if you were to find the greatest treasure, don’t look outside. Look inside, and seek that” – Rumi
What if every experience has a purpose and they are all part of the plan? Can you see a way that every pearl that you have on your long rope of pearls, is required and necessary to who you are becoming?
Most people don’t show up in their own lives. We are taught at a young age not to express opinions different than the norm. We are taught that to stick out and be different will just cause us pain and difficulties. So like the turtle, we withdraw into our shell of protection and don’t venture out. What if, … we stopped. What if,… we took off that shell or mask, and stood up as who we truly are?
“A strong woman may remain silent when people talk behind her back. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t notice. It simply means she chooses not to waste her energy on foolishness. She has more important things to do” – Unknown
What if,… the reason the world seems to be so crazy right now, is that we are not showing up as who we truly are?
So, how do you figure that out? Who are you really deep down inside?
“In order to experience the truth of things, you must have a clear mind, be brutally honest with yourself, and make innocence and vulnerability continually accessible, because your perception is always changing and there will always be more to learn and understand and experience” – Amy Larson
One of the most important discoveries I made on my journey with LemonadeMakers is that the vision I saw initially grows and expands as I do.
I think that if you could see what it is really possible for you to become, you would not believe it. You would not even set out on the journey, because it would seem too impossible for you to become that person.
That is why you are given small visions, that keep growing and expanding. Each time you catch up to the vision, it steps out of range, so that you have to work and grow and expand yourself again and again.
Imagine that it is possible to discover who you really are capable of becoming and being? What your purpose is?
To rekindle your passion into a bright steady flame that lights your way. To understand what transforming your life really means? To let go of all of the thoughts, judgments and stories that no longer serve you.
As you listen and try to connect to who you are, you get lost. You hear the criticisms, judgments loud and clear, but you miss the compliments in your inner dialogs
- Would you be interested in discovering what you are truly capable of?
- Would you take the path less traveled?
- Would you have enough courage to undertake a journey that you know would be filled with mistakes, disappointments, as well as being a mind blowing adventure?
- Would you be willing to admit that you are in fact a divine creation; an amazing world leader – that just hasn’t fully shown up yet?
- Would you be willing to take that first step in discovering just how much you are truly capable of being and doing?
Are you interested in talking about your challenges, to encourage others, to find/provide inspiration to continue on your individual journey? When you share the lessons of your journey, resilience is grown for everyone.
Chances are that what you’re struggling with, others are too. What life questions you have been asking yourself, others are asking themselves too. Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your you’re interested in forming a weekly or biweekly zoom call, message me on LemonadeMakers.
Are You Ready To Be A Hero For Your Own Life?
Most of us are in what Joseph Campbell calls “Sleepy Land”. We get so bound up in the day to day details of living that we fall asleep to our purpose. “The hero’s journey always begins with the call. One way or another, a guide must come to say, “Look, you’re in Sleepy Land. Wake. Come on a trip. There is a whole aspect of your consciousness, your being, that’s not been touched. So you’re at home here? Well, there’s not enough of you there, and so it starts.”
Then one day it happens. We notice that we are missing something. We want more. We wake up to the fact that “more” is not more money; it is not a better job; or house, or car. It is elusive, and we may not know what “it” is, but we begin to figure out what “it” isn’t. It is our birthright, and it is what takes our life from “normal” to “greatness”.
We wake up to the fact that we have the potential to do better and be better in how we live our lives, both for ourselves and for others.
We wake up to the fact that we have this intense desire to be socially active and impact the lives of others in some monumental way. Especially in those areas where we have lived through hell and come out the other side of.
We wake up to the fact that we are in fact searching. We are searching for a community of souls that is like us. We are searching for mentors and leaders to learn how to navigate this new place of being. That can help us with the tools we need to develop our gifts and skills, and assist us with understanding just how big our purpose is.
We wake up to the fact that we want our life to have meaning, and that this means we want to positively impact the lives of others.
Men like Steve Jobs and Richard Branson figured out what that was for them. And while they had all of the things that people think will make them happy, it was the “more” they woke up to, that actually brought them to greatness. “All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.” Martin Buber. They may have started out after all of the material things, but they ended up with the “more”.
Joseph Campbell said , “A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.” This something else is transcendence. Transcendence happens when we “reclaim the visionary, the utopian, the dream of the better or happier world” – when everything that we touch becomes a prayer.
So how do we discover what it is? We have to walk out the door of the safe comfortable space we have created for ourselves, and we have to walk down that path to the unknown. We have to enter the dark forest. You have to embark on the Hero’s journey. It is how you discover the vast resources that reside within you. A hero’s journey – finding the edge of your unknown forest, and entering into the heart of darkness.
What do you find there? You explore the caves of the past and you wake up to the dreams of the future. You let go of the life of existence, of “go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed and repeat over and over again”.
Traveling down into the depths of the abyss we recover treasures of life. We recover the dreams we let die; we see that the stories that we have told ourselves about past hurts are not entirely true. We become excavator’s and dig up the bones of the past, and let them blow away like dust on the winds of healing. We see that most of the problems in our life have been mirrors being held up to us, but we were too blind or too scared to acknowledge the truth. By exploring the darkness we become enlightened.
We become curious, our mind opens up to new ideas. Changes begin as we see new worlds to explore that have lain beneath the normalcy of our past life. We see possibilities instead of complications. We wonder. We release. We transform. We heal and become whole for the first time.
We realize that although we were damaged, we survived and that makes us dangerous. Because we now know how to not only survive, we know how to become whole again. We become those that Rumi spoke about when he said, “the wound is the place where the light enters you.” We become both a mentor and a teacher for ourselves.
Being a mentor to oneself with love, light, grace and compassion. Being a teacher to yourself with rage, darkness, fear, and judgment. We are both, and both are required for the heroes journey. Speaking love to overcome rage, speaking light to overcome darkness, speaking grace to overcome fear and speaking compassion to overcome judgment.
“I guess that’s the thing about a hero’s journey. You might not start out a hero, and you might not even come back that way. But you change, which is the same as everything changing. The journey changes you, whether or not you know it, and whether or not you want it to.” Kami Garcia
Check out our current event page, to see when our next webinar is scheduled and join us in learning more about not only the Heroes Journey, but about the entire process of transforming our lives. See Lemonademakers.org/events
Having Courage Is One Of The Six Impossible Things
“Alice: How long is forever?
White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second”
– Lewis Carroll
Life seems like that sometimes. I remember years ago that we were driving north on I-5 in Oregon and we had just crested the top of a hill around Roseberg. You could see quite a way in front of you as the road sloped down into a valley. Ahead of us was a semi-tractor trailer and he ran over something that looked like shiny metal in the road. Immediately his tires blew and he started swerving and then the whole rig tipped onto its side.
For a moment it was like slow motion. I could see so many small details as the whole scene played out like a movie. Then whoosh, time sped back up and my husband was pulling off the road and running back to make sure the driver was ok. The driver was just shocked by what had happened. But for me, it was the weirdest experience of time I have ever had. It was like the rabbit said, forever came in just one second.
“Dare to dream again. For dreaming is the language of your soul, and nothing your soul truly desires could ever be wrong or impossible” – Jacob Nordby
“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then” – Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
In order to embrace change, you need a great deal of courage. Change in your life today is speeding up, faster and faster. This speed of change is impacting every facet of your life. It changes the education system, the business world, and your personal life.
I saw a cute video the other day where the family was in a hotel room and the dad handed the telephone receiver to his young daughter to hang it up. She didn’t know what to do. All she had experience with was a cell phone. She didn’t understand the receiver had to go onto the cradle of the phone.
Technology changes your world moment by moment. Political upheaval can change all of the rules you live by in a moment. Your belief systems can swing from one absolute truth, to a new absolute truth. It takes a lot of courage to stay in that place of curiosity . To not become mired into taking rigid stands against someone whose belief is different from yours.
It takes a lot of courage to change beliefs that you have had for a long time. It could be that you have to finally acknowledge that you have outgrown them. Or it could be that science, technology, and even a simple virus has totally changed the world as you know it.
It takes a lot of courage to have a love affair with the unknown. It means that you are constantly learning something new. Each new thing demands that we let go of an old belief. You may think like Alice “this is impossible” but as the Mad Hatter replied, “Only if you think it is.” My favorite line is “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
Enjoy the journey, do the impossible, and be a just a tiny bit Mad like the Mad Hatter.
“May I have the courage today to live the life that I would love. To postpone my dream no longer. But do at last what I came here for and waste my heart on fear no more” – John O’Donohue
I think too, that there is some anticipation mixed in with this quote, being “in love with the unknown”. This is quite different from how you live your life. You are scared of the unknown a lot of the time. I love looking at the energy of a word, when you slide the word into a different kind of thought or context.
Courage is being in love with the anticipation of what comes next, even when we have no idea what that might be.
Certainly Alice had no idea of what was coming next into her adventures. The story line seems to run with the energy of anticipation.
Transformation was a big topic in the story. One pill made her smaller, Cake made her larger. The Cheshire Cat became invisible. Animals can talk. You can kill the Jabberwocky.
Nothing remained the same for long in Wonderland. It feels like right now that we are all walking through Wonderland. The world is shifting day by day, and no one knows what to expect to have happened at the end of the day. Are you approaching the madness with curiosity? With courage?
I think that the most interesting thing about curiosity is that it hides something most of us are afraid of admitting. It cloaks your ignorance about something or someone. Most of us wouldn’t want to admit we don’t know something. But we aren’t afraid of being curious.
Being curious is a great gift. At the moment that you use this gift –
- You open your mind.
- You get excited.
- You get adventurous.
- You step willingly into the unknown.
- All of your fears become muted.
We Are Stronger Than We Know
When the butterfly has completed its change, the last step is to break through the chrysalis and unfurl its wings. Once they are dry, it is time to fly.
There is a story about how if you help the butterfly out of its coverings, it is crippled. This is because it needs to complete its growth through the releasing of its casing. If you enlarge the hole it creates, it deforms the wings. The same… is true for us. It is the persistant beating-pushing-stretching of the wings that breaks open the casing and allows the butterfly to fly free. The Grand Canyon was carved out of rock by water, persistence is a powerful thing.
Sometimes life’s struggles are to help us realize that we need to grow stronger to complete our journey. Being courageous requires us to be vulnerable. It is a sign of strength when we put ourselves out there. You can’t really experience life, if you live without risking failure. The reality is that the strongest people feel the pain of change, they understand it, and they accept it as part of the growth process. They realize as Thomas Monson said, “Good timber does not grow with ease. The stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.”
A meme I collected said:
It will hurt.
It will take time.
It will require dedication.
It will require willpower.
You will need to make healthy decisions.
It requires sacrifice.
You will need to push your body to its max.
There will be temptation.
But, I promise you, when you reach your goal, it’s worth it.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Looking at history, I think this quote best describes what we know of Anne Frank, who still believed even after the things she experienced, that the world is filled with good people.
When struggles happen to us we have a choice, they can define us or refine us. For Anne they refined her. Those who become defined by their struggles are true victims. They can’t move past the horrible thing that happened. They encase themselves with what happened and choose safety out of fear. They stop growing, becoming deformed inside, until they learn to “let it go”. To break out of the casing and unfurl their wings.
The best advice comes from Bob Marley, “Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure.” You take a chance of being wounded by living this way, but as Ernest Hemingway said, “The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice.”
The Best Is Yet To Come, In New Beginnings
“Always believe something wonderful is about to happen . . . ” – Unknown
Jack Canfield tells a wonderful story of an elderly woman who is meeting with her minister to plan out her future funeral. She tells him all the things that she wants around her – her bible, what she wants to wear, and then she says that she wants a fork. Puzzled the minister asks her why a fork? So she says, “when they have the potlucks at the church you know you are going to have a special desert, when they say to save your fork. The fork is to remind everyone that the best is yet to come.”
When a friendship or relationship ends, or a loved one dies, it can seem like your broken heart is all you have left. There can be no happy ending.
That is when you need to remember the story of the fork.
You need the reminder that the best is yet to come. You may not even see a glimmer of what it could be. You could look at the broken pieces of your heart and think that there is no way it can be mended.
“When the world says give up, hope whispers try one more time” – Unknown
But what you are going to do is not really mending your heart.
It is giving your heart a new beginning.
Think of a clear calm lake. No waves, just a perfectly flat surface. You can see like a mirror the reflections of all that is around it. Now pick up a stone and throw it as far as you can into the lake. As it hits the surface, it creates a ripple on the surface of the lake. All of the reflections you saw before shift and change. The ripple starts small and expands out to the entire lake. Waves lap back and forth on the rocky and sandy shorelines.
Eventually the ripples expand to the point that the surface of the lake is completely calm again. The reflections on the water are clearly seen again.
However, the lake has been forever changed. It now contains that stone on the bottom of the lake. This lake is your heart. Your heart will never be the same, as it contains both the love and heartbreak that occurred.
It can come back into it’s new shape, and look the same, but it has been forever changed. There is always a new beginning. The stone does not define you. Let it go (no I am not singing the frozen song – lol).
“A woman’s strength isn’t just about how much she can handle before she breaks. It’s also about how much she must handle after she’s broken” – Unknown
Don’t confuse the current storm raging on your path with your final destination. This storm will play itself out. The sun will come out again.
Be strong enough to let that hurt go. Transform that hurt into something positive. Find the gold in the experience. The divine presence is transforming your heart that wants to turn to stone, into a new healthy heart that will open to love again.
Think of all of the firsts that have happened in your life.
- Your first step, was because you wanted to get something or somewhere.
- Your first word was because you wanted to communicate.
- Your first day of school opened up a whole new world for you.
- Going from grade school to junior high school to high school to college, each step opened a new door. It also closed a door behind you.
- Your first relationship, your saying “I do” and I will love you forever.
- Seeing your newborn child for the first time, that beautiful baby that had been making its presence known for months being in your arms for the first time.
Each first time, held a new promise, a hope of a dream coming true. Each first was what you chose to make of it, to trust in the magic of a new beginning.
“A wise girl knows her limits. A smart girl knows she has none” – @getlanded
So when someone or something breaks your heart, know that eventually the ripples of sorrow, loss and pain will expand out and fade away. When you lose a loved one, a job, a lifestyle, or best friend – know that it is in the journey itself, that you become strong.
Your heart may have been forever changed by the loss but remember the fork – the best is yet to come. The things that you can’t change, change you instead. See a new beginning, a new way of seeing things, a new chance to dance.
Lyrics quoted from from “I Hope You Dance”, by Lee An Womack
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,”
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,”
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Dreams are the Children of your Soul
Every day we have a choice. We can live in fear or move forward in faith.
– Billy Cox
What does it take to realize the visions and dreams our of soul? It takes faith as Billy said, but it also takes making that faith become real with a solid belief. That belief then needs to move us forward. It takes action to start implementing steps that move us forward with the faith, that we can make it a reality. As we take action, we develop practices and habits to change from where we started. These actions propel us forward to where we want to go.
Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.
– Pamela Vaull Starr
Dreams create transformation in our life. As we bring our dreams into reality, it requires change. Some changes come about from letting go of what no longer serves us. Some changes come about by stripping away who we thought we were, to become who we really are. As the saying goes, “How does one become a butterfly? You have to want to fly so much, that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”
Dreams are . . . illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.
– Unknown
Since the road of life is not a long flat road, but has hills and valleys, it also will take perseverance. This is because we will run across obstacles on our road. Some things we can take a detour around; some things we will have to break out the tools to build a bridge over; and some things will require that we climb up and down the mountain. So to perseverance of not giving up, we also need to add in patience and time, because at least for me everything takes longer than I think it will.
Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath, try again.
– Unknown
All of these things are required, because at every turn and obstacle fear is going to try to tell us to stop. That this is not working. That this dream is too big, too much for us to accomplish. That look how far we have come – we can rest now and this will be good enough. Fear will try everything it has to get us to just be happy right where we are.
Carl Jung adds another piece to the picture that we are painting about dreams.
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
– Carl Jung
Daydreams are outside dreams. What they call “pipe dreams”, because they are so untethered. Pipe dreams mesmerize us, as they float by. They keep us asleep.
Dreams are answers to questions we haven’t figured out how to ask.
– Unknown
The dreams of your soul are a totally different kind of dream. They are the DNA of your soul, the blueprint of what you have been divinely gifted with to achieve in this lifetime. But in order for us to birth these dreams, and raise them up into the reality of this world, we have to wake up. We have to become aware. That is when our life starts to have true meaning. When we awake to our life’s true purpose. God speaks to us in dreams. Dreams of the whispers of the soul.
Dreams are the guiding words of the soul.
– Carl Jung
That is what made Martin Luther King Jr. speech about “I have a dream” so powerful. The moment he put down his notes and spoke from his heart, the dream he had been given by the divine came through with such crystal clear clarity that it grabbed the soul of the world. It was a powerful dream and even though he has passed on from this world, every year we remember this dream. And even though he is not here to bring it into the full reality of what it can and will be, it is still progressing. This dream has perseverance. It keeps on going and it will keep going until it comes into full reality.
Trust in dreams for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
– Kahlil Gibran
We all have a dream inside of us that is just as powerful and just as necessary to this world. Please, please don’t let the dream die with you. Bring it out of your heart. Add the faith, the belief to know that you can change into who you need to be in order to make it a reality. Know that it will take perseverance, that it will take patience and time, but you can become the person that you need to be to make it happen.
Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.
– Mother Teresa
I look at my own journey with LemonadeMakers and I can tell you that this dream has changed my life. That it is constantly challenging me to make more changes to become the person who can not only hold this vision and dream, but to become the person who can shout it from the mountain tops and be heard around the world. If we all join hands, and collaborate together to change ourselves, we will change the world.
So many dreams at first seem impossible. And then they seem improbable. And then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.
– Christopher Reeves
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Taking Courageous Action To Have The Life You Dream Of
There comes a time when the desire for transformation demands action. Never let your fears be the deciding factor, of taking that action. “Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards, but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them…, they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.” Orison Swett Marsden
Action is required when the change comes from within us. The choice to enter through the gates of greatness, is an internal change initiated by our desire to live a fully engaged life. This change requires of us, just a touch of insanity because it means that we will no longer live a life of conformity. It requires from us that we recognize and let go of beliefs that no longer serve us. We begin by setting intentions and making conscious designs of how we want to change our life. Something new is birthed into existence when this happens. Like the caterpillar we emerge from the chrysalis a new creation.
There comes a time when the caterpillar has to make the chrysalis. He has to overcome the fear of what is going to happen when he closes it off with himself all wrapped up inside of it. He has to let go of the fear of will he be able to breathe. How will he eat? What happens if it something goes wrong? How will he get out? “It is when I struggle that I strengthen. It is when I am challenged to my core, that I learn the depth of who I am.” Dr. Steve Marboli. It is the struggle of the transformed butterfly to emerge from the covering that the wings become fully functional. If you “help” it to escape, it will deform the wings and it will never be able to fly.
There is a story told of how an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming. I have always loved this story, because it is by the action of pulling back the arrow that it launches us through the gates of greatness. It is such a great analogy of understanding that struggle is part of advancement.
Cheryl Strayed said “fear, to a great extent is born of a story that we tell ourselves.” I don’t know how many of you remember back to the late 70’s, but there was a gas crisis. We had lines around the block to get gas, and you could only get it on even or odd days depending on your license plate number. It was around this time that all but two states, decided that we had to pump our own gas, it was all self service.
Now I had never had to pump gas. I told myself this big fear story about how I was going to do it wrong, blow up the service station or something equally horrible. For quite a while I got away with leaving my husband with the almost empty tank, until one day it happened. The tank was on empty and I had to pump my own gas. Well as you can guess it was simple and easy. I didn’t pour gas all over the station, I didn’t implode, nothing caught on fire. I laughed about my fears when I drove away – it was just a made up story, by my fear of the unknown. Richard Bach said, “The meaning I picked, the one that changed my life: Overcome fear, behold wonder.”
That is what I learned from that experience. Fear isn’t meant to shut me down – it is meant to wake me up to wonder. I had let this fear limit how far I could drive. I had let it stop me from filling up my car with gas. I have always pulled that memory out when fears start getting in my way. Fear was making me a prisoner, and overcoming that fear set me free. Free to go have adventures, to embrace transformation and change in my life. To take actions, which is to take risks. Risk is always present when I am doing something that I don’t know how to do. This is what bravery and courage is, not the absence of fear, but the ability to push through the fear and by taking action, to do it anyway. There is nothing more liberating that doing something we didn’t think that we could do. No matter how simple or easy it actually turns out to be.
W. Clement Stone said, “Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.” It is the actions that move us forward. Actions say who we are, whereas the words, or talking about something, simply say who we want to be. What we have to remember is that our lives are a message to all of those around us. They see our actions that we take, how we go forward in the world, and that is how they see us.
Think of the iconic movie characters. Rocky who fights against the odds and wins. Indiana Jones who will find the treasure, then have to fight the bad guys and win against impossible odds. John Wayne; The Lone Ranger; Darth Vader; Luke Skywalker; Bilbo Baggins; Gandalf; – when you say the names, you see the characters that they represent. The reputations that the characters earned, by the actions that they each took – both good and bad. Each one has a message to the world.
“Adversity introduces a man to himself.” Albert Einstein. Think about Luke Skywalker and how when he was training with Yoda and entered the cave. He asked what he would find inside and Yoda said, “whatever you take in with you”. He took into the cave his fears of Darth Vader, but what did he see when he took the mask off of Darth Vader? His own face. His own fears that he would become what he hated. That somehow he would fail and become evil too. That is the story of his fear. When he faced that fear, he saved not only himself, but also his father Darth Vader. He inspired his father to change back from his evil ways.
Our souls dreams lead us into transformation. This transformation requires that we change. Change requires that we initiate some sort of action to make everything happen. When you are inspired by your purpose to seek change and transformation, your mind transcends the limitations or bonds that have kept you prisoner, held in place. the whole world opens up to you. You see things that you missed, because of the blinders your fear had in place.
Your talents and gifts comes alive and expand to fill in the void created by facing your fears. These gifts are that which is needed for transformation. The caterpillar builds the chrysalis, after which the divine takes over, as the caterpillar physically changes into the butterfly. The action of the caterpillar has to happen first. So it is for us. We feel the need to transform. We take the needed action to start the process. Then you transcend your limitations, your gifts come alive and you begin to see the divine purpose you have in being here. You discover that you are a greater person than you ever dreamed you could be.
Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside of you that the world is waiting for. That the gifts you have been given are required in this time and place. That these gifts can help you to overcome any obstacle. Life has a habit of pulling out of us what is needed. So don’t just dream about the life you wish you had. Go out and make that life real. Let your faith be bigger than your fears. Just remember how silly I was to let the fear of pumping gas stop me from having adventures by limiting how far I could travel. Every time you face a fear, you can laugh with me at how silly we were to let it stop us for even 5 minutes.