So how do you believe anything is possible? How do you see opportunity instead of risk? How do you take flying leaps into the unknown without having overwhelm knock you back down? We reframe the fear that is activating the belief that something is impossible. We reframe the fear that tells us what we want is too hard to do; that what we are thinking of doing is too risky. We reframe the fears that are creating the feeling of being overwhelmed.
You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic.
– Alice in Wonderland
Reframing is one of those things that is both simple and hard at the same time. Every hero story needs a villain. Something to overcome. We think that we would all love the easy answers. A perfect life with a GPS system that told us where to go and what to do. But in reality that would be very boring and we would feel like we were living a caged life, because we were not given the freedom to make our own decisions.
Stop worrying how it’s going to happen and start believing that it will.
It begins with our having faith that what we are looking for is possible. That what we have been searching for in a dark cave with a book of matches for a light is just ahead and everything will be OK, even though we only have one match left. It is plain and simple a leap of faith into the unknown. That belief that we will land on something that will hold our weight so that we can continue our journey.
The strongest factor for success is self-esteem: Believing you can do it, believing you deserve it and believing you’ll get it.
Have you ever been going somewhere with the GPS system in your car telling you where to go? If you are gong on a long trip and you get off the freeway to eat, take a bio-break or get fuel for your vehicle it goes crazy trying to get you back on the scheduled directions. Reframing is taking our GPS system which is telling us to go from point A to point B and reprogramming it for some additional stops. Places on the map that are invisible but there just the same.
Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined.
Have you ever completed a big remodel project? You start out with a plan and design of how everything will be done. You start tearing down the bathroom walls and floor and you discover that your $10K remodel just changed to a $20K remodel because all of the plumbing is cast iron and has to be replaced because in the past 50 years it has a decayed.
It’s okay to be a glow stick. Sometimes we have to break before we can shine.
That’s what life changes are like. You start out thinking that you want to make a small change in your life. You get started taking down all of things that no longer benefit you in your life and you discover a pattern you didn’t know existed, (which has behind the scenes) is what has been keeping you from making those important life changes.
Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.
– Wilma Rudolph
Your small change just became a major remodel, because you need to reframe this life pattern so that it doesn’t continue to let fear of change, of overwhelm, of not being good enough, to continue to define who you are. The good news is that this reframing of your life means growth, and growth signifies change is finally happening. You discover your hidden potential for greatness is an area that you never knew existed.
Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason it will.
What’s important during a period of reframing is to “see” or create a vision of what exactly you want your life to look like. What sort of bathroom floor do you want? What kind of tile for the shower floor and the walls of shower? What kind of lights and fixtures? What kind of vanity? What does your ideal dream bathroom look like? Don’t focus on the plumbing issues. Don’t let the cost overruns overwhelm you. Reset your focus to see the ideal outcome, the end of the project, the finished bathroom.
A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
– David Brinkley
Reframing looks at what everyone else might see as a series of mistakes and failures. Instead by reframing it we see a series of lessons. Each one building on the other. Taking each of these “bricks” being thrown at us – both by others as well as our negative fear infested minds – we instead begin building a secure foundation to hold the structure we are making outside our comfort zone by accomplishing our goals.
The only limits you have are the limits you believe.
– Wayne Dyer
As a professional procrastinator I will take something that might take anyone else a few hours to do and blow it up into a month if not years project. First by doing research and more research, and then a little bit more because you can never have too much knowledge. Then by creating a perfect plan, and then revising it a million times because it just needs one more tweak because you can’t have too much attention to the smallest detail. I build up the fear of failure until it creates to bridge to the moon. Then because I can’t hold back time any longer I am pushed to finally do something.
Do not let the waves of doubt wash away your authentic self.
What if I reframe the possible mistake or failure? What if I reframe everything that has gone wrong already and that will go wrong in the future? What if, instead of letting doubt control my life, I look at everything as just an experiment? What if, instead of being afraid, I am curious? What if every project is like taking a beacon of water and adding a drop of this chemical or that one to see what happens and writing down the results in a notebook? What if this is just a series of lessons rather than errors? What if I give myself the freedom to learn each lesson and just keep creating the next experiment?
Life is like the ocean. We can’t control the tide, so we might as well learn to surf.
If I am going to learn to surf through my life, how can I learn to catch the perfect wave? What is the perfect wave? Come and take a peak at our next conscious conversation all around “Catching The Perfect Wave”.
Turn the tide on mediocrity.
Break free of the riptide of your past.
Start living from a “bucket list” instead of existing with a “to do” list.
Come join us for our next "Conscious Conversation" program!What is a Conscious Conversation?
Last week I went to my birth fathers funeral. He died of complications of dementia. I hadn’t seen him in years. My parents divorced when I was four years old. Despite all of my wanting him to be a part of my life, it just never happened. Many reasons, excuses and stories – too many to go into here. What I wanted to talk about from my own experience is the feelings of being a child of divorced parents.
For me it was very painful because I blamed myself for the divorce. I thought it was something I did. Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, there are probably a lot of people in the world who grew up like me, thinking that they somehow caused the divorce. I didn’t realize that I believed this until I had kids of my own. Lots of self analyzing and trying to figure out where my self sabotage patterns originated revealed it to me. My adult self knows that it isn’t true.
My dad like a lot of fathers remarried another women with children. They became his family as is right. Unfortunately, my stepmother didn’t return the favor and the few times I went to their home it was clear I wasn’t wanted. It was clear as a child, as a teenager and as an adult when I visited with what should have been her grand-kids, we were not welcome.
So my dad and I became completely estranged. It broke my heart. For me at least, I always wanted my dad to say he wanted me in his life, and then to try to make that happen. I had the fantasy that once I was an adult and he didn’t have to deal with my mom, that he would show up and be the dad I always wanted. I didn’t realize how much of that fantasy was lying beneath the surface until I found out he had died.
Wintercearig is a Norwegian word meaning winter-sorrowful describing that feeling of deep sadness comparable to the cold of winter. I think that the death of the fantasy was harder than his physical death. I solaced my heart that he had dementia, so there were probably close to 10 years that he didn’t remember me. Grief is a slippery animal though. It comes and goes when you least expect it. I know he wasn’t a happy man, and I know how hard my mother could be for him. I just wish it could have been different, and that they could have put aside their own pain for my sake.
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
– Albert Camus
I am working my way through winter of my loss. Part of that process is to pull out the gold from the dross. To find the invincible summer in my story. To make Lemonade from the lemons. My disappointments in my childhood and the letting go of the fantasy as an adult are part of who I am. I can talk to this with total compassion, because I have been there. I learned to appreciate the good qualities that my mom and dad had, and let go of the expectations that they would ever become who I wanted them to be.
To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold.
Pain has a lot of lessons to teach us. I remember years ago I was talking with one of my sister in-laws about forgiveness. She stated that if her husband ever had an affair that she would never forgive him. That she would divorce him. I told her that with big decisions in life, we think we know what we would do. But until that moment arrives it is all speculation. The reason for that is how connected everything is.
It isn’t just that someone had an affair. You would have to look at all of the circumstances around what happened. There are so many things in your relationship with your partner, what is going on at work, with the larger family – what are the stresses of life that weighed in on someone so that would do something that would destroy their life? When something this devasting happens and you look at all of the possible choices you have to face, many times we do not do what we thought we would. You have to stand out in the cold, and really look at every single crystal of the snowflake to make a decision. Like the snowflake, the breaking of the marriage bond is different for every couple with no two alike.
The future lies before you, like a field of fallen snow; Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.
My experiences in life gave me a little bit of a soapbox in regards to fathers who don’t see their children. The damage it causes those children affects them every day of their life. Many of us don’t realize how much, until something happens that brings it to the surface. I had thought I had given up the fantasy of my dad showing up on my doorstep one day, saying “I love you and I want you to be part of my life”. It was still apparently a running program in the background, taking up energy.
So if you are divorced and you aren’t connected with your children, make the sacrifice to do whatever it takes to be a part of their lives. Just show up, with no excuses. With no blame, except to say “I’m sorry”. It may take awhile before they trust you again, because even if you didn’t mean to, you broke their heart. But if you put in the effort and keep trying, eventually they will open the door.
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. that’s what this storm’s all about.
– Haruki Murakami
When I am processing pain, grief, sadness, I write. This is something I am still working on, but I wanted to share the work in progress.
Maybe you are like me, a daughter or son, who just wanted to be told that they were loved, that they weren’t a mistake that could just be thrown away, that they were proud of who you became.
Maybe like me you just wanted them to show up at your door and say Hi.
A note for my Dad
I learned to say goodbye at an early age
To hear “love you, see you soon” knowing in my heart it wasn’t true
Looking out of the back window of the car as mom drove me away
Silent tears wishing I was still with you
It’s a broken road my mom and dad have made
I’m tired of feeling disloyal loving you both, being torn between you two,
I feel my frailness crumble as you both pull me apart
My heart is torn, broken with your hammers beating it to pieces
Years go by with a few hours here and there
Visits so short they can’t even be remembered
How many times I reached out to you
Only to hear the deafening silence.
The sharp thunder of glaciers breaking up and falling into the ocean
The cold became the color of blinding whiteness
I waited for the your presence, the phone call, the letter, anything
To hear you say “I’m here and I love you.”
Deep sadness covers me like a layer of snow
Leaving my heart cold, pain frozen into arctic ice
Daddy why did you die and leave me alone
Never to hear those words, “love you, see you soon” fulfilled?
I think I will miss you forever, since we never got to say goodbye
Wishing you had been a constant presence in my life didn’t make it happen.
The gift you gave me in passing me by in forgetfulness,
Is seen daily in my being a part of my own children’s lives
Lack of forgiveness causes almost all of our self-sabotaging behavior.
– Mark Victor Hansen
When I first read this it took me by surprise. I thought but self sabotaging behavior is what I am doing to myself. Why would lack of forgiveness be behind it? So I went to my earliest memory that created the pattern of “it isn’t safe to be seen”. Okay my logical mind threw into my face, how is this created from lack of forgiveness? I had walked into my moms room after I woke up from my nap at 4 yrs old and exposed her adultery. From that experience came the life self-sabotaging pattern “it wasn’t safe to be seen”. Bad things happened according to my 4 yr old little girl, since soon afterwards my parents divorced. What did I have to forgive myself for?
A critical key to achieving success lies in your ability to activate your potential to create the results you seek . . , start by being aware of your self-sabotaging patterns.
– Lauren Mackley
For years I had thought that I was responsible for the divorce. As an adult I finally learned that what caused the divorce was that my mom got pregnant and my dad had gotten a vasectomy, partly because he thought my mom might be betraying him and partly because there were four little girls and he thought that was as big a family as they wanted. So when she got pregnant, it was pretty apparent that he was right. So even though I had wrongly assumed responsibility for the divorce, I knew I wasn’t. So why lack of forgiveness for the continuing pattern of being invisible?
Self-sabotage is the proverbial hammer over the head that finally wakes us up, demanding that we pay attention. For most of us, it takes something devastating to crack us open, to get us out of our minds and into our hearts.
– Debbie Ford
What I discovered as I dug into this thought, was that this had layers and layers of lack of forgiveness. Unfortunately what you will discover when you unwind your own patterns of self sabotage, it that it is never a “one and done” kind of journey. Every single time I think that I have unwound the tangled mess around fear of being seen, a new thread of yarn appears and I am again unwinding some small aspect of this pattern to discover another thought, such as this one. If the pattern is still showing up, then something is still attached waiting for me to find the end of the thread and being unraveling it.
As painful as it is, it’s easier to live in a world of unfulfilled potential than to open yourself up to the possibility you have no potential. It’s easier to tell yourself you “would” have done better if “if” you’d worked harder, than to work your hardest and see what happens. It’s easier to tell yourself you “would” be happier with your body “if” you are healthy, than to eat healthy and see what happens. It’s easier to tell yourself your life “would” be better “if” you woke up early, than to wake up early and see what happens. The fear of failure is worse than failure itself. Be willing to fail so you can see that you probably won’t and if you do, that it’s really not that bad.
– Sam Brown
Entwined within the pattern of “it’s not safe to be seen” is fear of failure. I find fear of failure is like that weed that you can’t get rid of. It sneaks into everything. A lot of people think that fear of failure is simply what it says, the fear to fail. But hidden within that weed is another noxious substance that feeds into my “it’s not safe to be seen”. It is fear of success. The fear that if I am successful it will put me into the spotlight and that spotlight will follow me around like a hidden camera just waiting to expose some defect. It invites attention like the circus barker with the mega phone calling everyone to come under the big tent and watch as Sheryl tries to fly to high on the trapeze and falls to her sudden death. All of those people will sit on the edge of their seats just waiting to find a flaw with my performance. To tell me in detail about my inadequacies. To in short, put me back into the comfort zone never again to explore my hidden potential.
Like most other creatives, I struggle with self-sabotage, self-doubt, and feeling like an imposter more often than not. I struggle with expressing myself, because it does sometimes feel easier or safer not to.
– Jeff Jarvis
Everything is negotiable, you have a right to stand up and say, “this doesn’t work for me”. If you want to make changes in your relationships with friends or family; lay down rules at work to how you are treated; get out of the debt that is ruining your life, or any other situation that has become just too much – you have to do a reality check on yourself. It is an inside job. I know that it sounds like that isn’t the answer, but our self sabotaging patterns set us up to get the same experiences over and over, designed to keep us in our comfort zone. You might think it is the “other” person who is making us miserable. But you have to stand up and start asking for what you want, not what the self sabotaging habits are telling you that you deserve.
This is how women self-sabotage and self-destruct. Unless we have constant witnesses to our hard work, we are convinced we pull off every day of our lives through smoke and mirrors.
– Sarah Ban Breathnach
I spent my entire childhood both trying to be the perfect child, and trying to do whatever my mother was failing to do with my siblings. I became the mom I thought we should have. I was the “one” my mother would constantly tell me she could count on. The hidden message that I had gotten from my mom was that if I was too much trouble, if I made any waves at all, she might divorce me too. She was married five times, so that was my social proof my fear was real.
Your create self confidence by
doing instead of procrastinating.
doing instead of over-planning.
doing instead of self-sabotaging.
doing instead of complaining.
doing instead of feeling sorry for yourself.
One day I decided that wasn’t going to buy into my story anymore. I changed my expectations one inner dialogue at a time. Whenever I felt the spotlight, I turned into it instead of away from it. When I got the criticisms, instead of letting it beat me up, I said “today I am a mirror to their problems and they are finding their own faults in me”. I looked critically at what was said or done (like if the silver spoon had any spots that needed polishing) and thought, ok – “if one thing in this dialogue might be even partly true, what would it be”? Then I would see if I could find that thread in my self sabotaging pattern and work on just unraveling that single thread and let the rest of the editorial go into recycling.
This is a reminder to myself that I don’t have to be negative, or worry, or argue, or self-sabotage.
It’s ok to be happy and to have fun and to just enjoy life.
– Hanna Anerod
I started creating self-confidence and owning who I am, and that who I am is a “perfectly imperfect” person. I will make mistakes. I will have failures. Spellcheck will fail me. My grammar will drive someone crazy. Even though I read through this blog 20 times, it will still have some mistake. And someone who isn’t putting themselves out there like I am, will catch it for me. And I will say thank you, because I still want this to be perfect, even if I’m not. I will grow by stepping outside my comfort zone. I will have huge successes. I continue to worry about loving myself and I will keep letting go of the feeling that everyone else has to love me too or I am not worthy.
At some point in your life you’re going to have to start demanding what you deserve and be willing to walk away if what you require can’t be provided.
= R.H. Sin
Interpret this quote only to how you treat yourself – amazing to put a different spin on something that was written for those outside of you. Demand your inner voice, your patterns, your self-sabotaging habits start listening to what is acceptable in terms of the inner you. To actually completely engage in a life of self-exploration, you need to get curious. To ask questions that dig deep into the soul level. To unravel one thread after another. If you want to go beyond the surface of answering these questions, join us in our next “Catching The Perfect Wave” online course. We dive deeply into exploring transformation and listening to our souls voice with weekly group calls to go beyond the simple answers and explore what we all have hiding beneath the surface.
Open your heart to new adventures.
Finding yourself, who you truly are under all of the masks takes as long as it takes. I started this journey over 20 years ago when my mom passed away. I am still learning new things about myself. I know that really nothing is a “one and done” process. I’ve come to believe at least for myself that it is a life long process. The trick is to be really kind and compassionate to yourself.
If you stumble, make it part of the dance.
You can’t be so afraid of messing up that you are not willing to take a chance on yourself. And when you fall off the bridge and down the ravine, and you will do it many times, it is the realization that each time you climb back up to the bridge, you are growing into your full potential.
Blessed are the curious, for they shall have adventures.
My “go to” for a lot of my life was to feel self doubt so badly about myself, that I was paralyzed into not trying. I decided one day that I just didn’t want to do that anymore. When you decide to live life from a place of curiosity, the risk of failing isn’t such a scary thing. You learn through grace and compassion a new sense of freedom. You begin to understand how freeing it is to fail the first time. You don’t disappear or die from it. And once you have got that initial failure under your belt, you have freed up your imagination to wonder if doing it this way, or that way might result in something totally fun.
Listen to your own voice, your own soul, too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves. Deep inside, you know what you want, let no one decide that for you.
There becomes a point in growing and exposing more and more of oneself that you have to decide if you remain in the new “box” that you have created as a comfort zone or you want to continue to evolve more and more into who you are. You have to decide to continue down the road you recognize or you start down a new path.
Your purpose in life will become clear when you cease looking outside for answers and start listening to the silent and omnipresent voice of the heart.
In all the fairy tales, when the journey starts out the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the path is clear. But at some point in the journey, the path seems like it might even disappear. The darkness starts creeping in and obscuring what can be seen. The sights and sounds take on a sinister aspect. You know the challenge is about to appear. This happens because the inner world is very protective and has learned to hide who and what you are down deep inside. It has become the scary monster under the bed, and you are under the covers hiding so as to not be noticed.
Too many people live too much in the past. The past must be a springboard, not a sofa.
– Harold MacMilan
When you take up your shield of courage, something new and unexpected will catch our eye. Growth happens with change. It requires change. There is something valuable hidden within each of us that is worth unearthing. You might not be able to name what it is, but you can hear its voice calling softly. You have to be willing to challenge and fight the monster under the bed to unearth it. Every day, every hour, we get to decide we are worth the battle to bring it up and expose it to the light. Your soul is hoping and praying that your willing to set it free.
As a flower craves the light of the sun to grow, we desperately need the light of our souls to become who we’re destined to become.
Through our life we have created patterns that we tell ourselves is the path to freedom. Most of the time these patterns are actually chains, shackles or cages. It is a false freedom based on fear of exposing who we really are. It is like throwing a bedspread over dirty blankets or sheets – it looks good from above and we may look like we have our life together, but underneath it is a hot mess. It is a facade of of freedom.
The greatest act of human courage isn’t climbing mountains, conquering countries, or fighting in wars; it is walking into the mysterious abyss of one’s own inner self and truthfully face one’s own pain and tortured Shadow.
True freedom exposes everything up to the light, the good, the bad and the ugly. Recognizing and changing the patterns in our lives is what frees us from the chains we have wrapped around our souls. At any moment we have the power to change our story. Each second we can decide to put the key in the lock of our safe cage and release ourselves to be who we really are.
I’m not weak or a mess. I’m a deeply feeling person in a messy world. It takes strength to face and feel what few other people have the courage to acknowledge.
When you aren’t trying to outrun failure, success takes on a whole new meaning. Fear loses its foothold and instead of being the monster under the bed, it becomes the worn out teddy bear missing part of one ear and both eyes. When we believe that we win, that there is no lose or tie – then the bottom line is that we have expanded our comfort zone. We learned something new and valuable.
The Free Spirit,
The Loner Wolf,
The Black Sheep,
The Eccentric . . ,
These all are synonyms and the people who relate with any of these belong to the same Soul Group.
Failure is just part of the dust that gets into everything when we are walking down the dirt road. Sometimes its like the rock that we need to stop and remove from our shoe. It might slow us down, it might get us really dirty, but it never has to stop us from putting that shoe back on, getting back up and walking down the road again. Success is found on the road as we walk it.
I am willing to embrace the inner trust I have to ensure all I want – is given the opportunity to unfold.
We have to draw a line between all of the connecting points in our life. If we fail to connect all of the points, then we are missing out. We won’t fully comprehend what has happened, what doors of opportunity were opened that we walked by without seeing. We won’t see how the challenges exposed us to growth that wouldn’t have been possible without them. It fully exposes you to the challenge and opportunity of growth in ways that you can’t even imagine if you didn’t walk across the bridge.
If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.
– Lao Tzu
Asking yourself what do I want to do next? What challenge or opportunity is waiting behind the next corner to change and transform my life? To actually completely engage in a life of exploration, curiosity, believe in what else is possible? If you want to go beyond the surface of answering these questions, join us in our next “Catching The Perfect Wave” online course. We dive deeply into exploring transformation and listening to our souls voice with weekly group calls to go beyond the simple answers and explore what we all have hiding beneath the surface.
Benjamin Franklin has a famous saying,
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
– Benjamin Franklin
I would amend his quote to include change. Change happens whether we want it to or not. It is necessary for growth, and without it there can be no life. A seed is planted, the seeds shell breaks open, and a shoot pushes its way out of the soil. The shoot becomes a thriving plant through continued growth. With the right amount of water, nutrition and sunlight, the plant produces a bountiful harvest.
Growth only comes from adversity and from challenge – from stepping away from what’s comfortable and familiar and stepping out into the unknown.
– Ben Saunders
The seed stepped into its destiny by not remaining dormant in the ground. It did not let fear keep it from cracking the hard protective shell. It pushed itself out of the limitations of the seeds shell. It pushed itself past the fears that resided in the darkness of the soil, thrusting up into the light.
Stepping into your destiny really is the only real, true, authentic way to live. Fear is all that holds you back and holding on to that is really what keeps us stuck in the dark.
Growth and change can be painful, but they do not have to be. You have a choice in how you react to it, and how if affects you. Change is the law of life. But all change is not growth. That is because change isn’t always forward movement. Sometimes change takes us backward, instead of forward.
Knowing others is intelligence. Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.
– Lao Tzu
Having an open mind is necessary if you don’t want the growth that happens when you change to be painful. This is because if the mind is closed, then you are forever being controlled by the things that the mind refuses to give up. Wisdom is knowing ourselves so that we spot our patterns of self sabotage. Mastering ourselves is when we spot the self sabotage and instead step through the gateway of transformation.
Your vulnerability is a powerful gateway. Stepping into it invites growth, freedom, healing, your greatest love. It is a pathway born from courage, connecting your truth + being to the magic already living within you.
Think of a baby bird. It is a soupy glob inside the egg. It transforms into a baby bird. If it doesn’t transform, the egg goes bad and never has life. Once it transforms it still needs to peck its way out of the eggshell. If it doesn’t get out of the eggshell it will die. Then once it is out of the eggshell it grows to the point that it needs to use its wings and learn to fly. All are components of constant change and growth. The prize of growth, is in the freedom of flight that the mature bird has.
None of us are perfect, but I value those who make growth a priority . . . They push things forward, they show us that it’s better to die in your truth than to live by what cowardly people deem to be “right” . . . You’ll always be crazy to people too scared of reality to dream . . . Your mistakes will always be dumb to those who fear trying anything new . . . But there’s always a prize for those that persevere . . . Greatness is infatuated with those that have the discipline to stay focused and the work ethic to consistently get better . . .
– Rob Hill Sr.
This is a great illustration of change. Some of the changes are beyond the control of the bird. it has no say about changing from the soupy glob and into the baby bird. Instinct has it fight and peck itself out of the shell. The bird could fight against the changes, but doing so would lead to its death as it needs to eat to survive. It goes through change and transformation after change and transformation. It has the freedom of flight. It has the wind beneath its wings lifting it up into the sky. The reward is in the fulfillment of its destiny.
Personal growth is not a matter of learning new information, but of unlearning old limits.
– Alan Cohen
What it comes down to is how the attitude that we have about change and life, speaks to the kind of life we have. The attitude of survival actually fights against change, because our focus is on avoiding what we don’t want. We avoid disease with drugs, we try to avoid war by creating better faster ways of killing our enemies, so that we aren’t killed by them. Weapons of mutually assured mass destruction.
All change is preceded by crisis.
– Soren Kierkegaard
A different attitude would be to focus on thriving. In thriving we seek out ways to live a happier, healthier way of life. We seek the good things we want in our lives, instead of avoiding the bad things we don’t want. We seek to cooperate with others in love and peace, connecting heart to heart. We become pioneers of a better future. Assumptions need to be cleaned out of our thinking process, because they serve as blinders and we miss vital information.
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
– Mahatma Gandhi
Growth and change are very scary. You will trip and fall and bruise yourself. Others will make fun of you, stating that you can’t change the world (you are a pipe dreamer). They use fear as a powerful motivator to stay where you are. Because they themselves have a lack of self trust, they will say that you can’t trust others. Because they are themselves bullies, they will say that the bad guys will win, if you don’t act in a forceful way. Since they don’t have a life experience of safety, they will say you won’t be safe until you destroy what the others have. They will say a lot of things, to push you backwards into a cage of fear of loss. They will push you back into the cage of what they falsely call safety.
Laugh at what you hold sacred and still hold it sacred.
– Abraham Maslow
Goals are what we reach for, but the real prize is how we change to achieve them. I always think of Imagine by John Lennon. What if,…. we all really do have infinite potential? What if we really can do anything? What if we can make our dreams come true? What if, changing you, really does change the world?
That is the kind of world I want to live in, and what I find is that the more I create that space inside of me, the more I find others who are doing the same. I really do believe that someday we will be living life in peace, and sharing the world with each other, and the world will really finally be “one”.
Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is directly or indirectly where our expectations of life originate. We take a goal and make a plan. We see into the future possibilities. We attach meaning and purpose to a particular way we “see” the goal being accomplished. Imagination is how we come up with the plans in the first place. It is what enables us to make anything possible, anything happen.
The imagination is the golden pathway to everywhere.
– Terence McKenna
One of the danger signs on the road of our imagination is that we project meaning into everything that happens. Now if we are projecting good, positive meanings to what is happening, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, many times what we are projecting is suffering into what is happening. If someone sent you a text message that said, “boy, what a day I am having”. What’s the first thought that comes into your head? Without the emotion in the voice or cues from body language, where does your mind go first – to something great is happening in their day or something horrible is happening to their day?
Reality is something you rise above.
– Liza Minnelli
We need to constantly ask ourselves, what am I busy painting onto the canvas of my imagination? There are no rules to what I decide to paint. If I think that I can only be successful if my view of my current reality is matching to what I imagined my life would look like, then I am going to be doomed to disappointment. How many times have I whined in my head, “but this isn’t how it’s supposed to be?” How can I rise above what I perceive to be my reality, to what I am trying to create in my life?
Imagination is the most marvelous, miraculous, inconceivably powerful force the world has ever known.
– Napoleon Hill
Imagination is what leads to creation. Think of all of the great science fiction writers and their imaginations. Deep sea diving, submarines with Jules Verne. Star Trek and their recorders to our cell phones. Isaac Asimov and self driving cars and the stun gun (taser). H.G. Wells and atomic power. We are so close to being able to print and replace body parts, organ transplants, tricorders for medical diagnosis. To travel to the stars and go beyond our galaxy. All things that have happened and will happen in our futures, because someones imagination said, “what if . . , “.
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is what you need to see that although there may be problems in your life that need to be solved, they are also realities to be lived through. It is the meaning I give to my life that enables me to perceive that I am successful, that I am happy. How I perceive my life to be, is the reality I am creating for myself. The meaning comes from my feelings about what is happening. I can get lost in the maze of what it should be. I can also choose to see life as it truly is and acknowledge that most of the times when I have really grown have been when I was in the middle of some sort of failure. Taking the risk of failing, is really taking the risk that the growth that comes out of that failure is worth the cost of failing.
The world is a canvas for your imagination. You are the painter. There are no rules. Get to work.
There is a beach collage in the movie “The Man of the House” which the mom Sandy, (played by Farrah Fawcett) adds to every time she goes to the beach with the family. All through the movie she is adding a piece to it, until finally she sets a final piece in it and declares it is done. It is highly likely that this collage in her head when she first imagined it and what she actually created are not the same. But who makes the rule that it has to be the same? We do. We are the ones painting on our canvas. We decide what stays there and what gets scraped off and repainted with something new. The rules are created by us and we can change them. Our imagination can reshape the rules, can reshape what is on the canvas, can reshape anything to mirror what we desire to achieve in our life. My perception of my life is what makes up the reality of my life.
The power of imagination makes us infinite.
– John Muir
So what am I focusing on? Is it something that brings my imagination into reality? Because if my reality and my imagination are not even close to being the same, then I need to refocus to make it so. It’s funny how sometimes the way to make that adjustment is to learn to lose how I thought it had to be, in order to find out a better way to live it. It’s a matter of holding onto the vision that imagination has created and trusting the process of trying, failing, learning and trying again.
Live out your imagination, not your history.
– Stephen R. Covey
Raise your eyes to see the possibilities everywhere around you. They are always there. An endless hallway filled with doors waiting for you to step through. As you go through a new door, remember – nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. To be perceived in such a way that it creates the reality that you are searching for. So don’t just sit there. Get up and get busy!
Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.
– Arthur Ashe
Every year I go on several trips to seminars that are usually three – four days each. This year they arrived all at once. One of them I was supposed to go on last year, but my body had other plans (back surgery) and so I was unable to attend. So they transferred me to this event. The second one is part of the coaching plan I am on and I wasn’t able to travel yet with the event last year (on restrictions from said back surgery) and the third event is an annual American Indian Retreat I do every year.
Sometimes, it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.
I go on these journey’s each year to recharge my batteries. To open my mind to new learning. To get away from the everyday life, so I can relax and let come in from the divine the messages I am too busy to hear when I am involved with a fulltime job at the bank as well as running my LemonadeMakers page. When I am out of my element, I see things I am missing at home. I meet new people since I go to most of these events by myself. I get to travel and see what in my life needs to change.
Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.
– John O’Donohue
So no surprise, with attending a four day event (Thursday – Sunday) three weekends in a row in three different states, I woke up to some things in my life. I have always loved trees. It has always seemed to me that they talk to me. They are so relaxed and go with whatever mother nature sends their way. They connect to other trees through the root systems and even send nutrients to other trees far away that need them. Some of the recent scientific studies show they actually create community and support each other. Every home we have purchased it was because of the trees on the property, not the houses that I fell in love with. So imagine my surprise when I realized that lately trees haven’t been talking to me, water has.
The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn’t even think to ask.
– 180 degrees south
When I was at my first event outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico at Tamaya, located on a Pueblo Indian Reservation, they had strong winds blowing. I had opened the door to my hotel room and was listening to the wind, rain and thunder storm. When I closed my eyes and listened I heard the sound not of the wind, but of strong waves breaking against the seashore.
When I flew into Phoenix for my next event, the winds were blowing and I still heard the ocean in the air.
At Joshua Tree in California, I spoke to Chief Roberts and his wife Terri about how I was hearing the ocean everywhere I went. I knew water was calling but I didn’t know why. As one of our outdoor activities we were to walk a labyrinth. As I walked it I was looking down at the rocks that outlined the path. All different kinds of rocks, different minerals and crystals in them. All shapes. They spoke to me about water. How it had loosened them from the soil. How it had carved and shaped them transforming them, exposing them to the elements and revealing what they were deep inside. How sometimes the changes happened rapidly like a landslide and other times it was slowly drip by drip that changed occurred.
Even in my planning for where we are going to live when I retire, water has been showing up. First as I wanted to live in Northern Oregon or Southern Washington along the coast next to the ocean. Then my son sent me a property listing outside of Astoria Oregon on the John Day river for a houseboat. It was like water was saying, if you don’t want the ocean, how about living on the river?
I felt like the mom in the kitchen making dinner and my three year old kept grabbing my pant leg, saying “mommy, mommy” over and over. And I kept saying, in a minute, I’m really busy right now. Water was not letting me get away. It just kept trying to get my attention.
Your journey in life is not set in stone, you can change direction.
– Steven Aitchison
As I traveled round and round the labyrinth I started thinking about when water had started talking to me. How had it been showing up in my life? This winter has been the wettest winter since we have been living in California – the amount of water this season has been comparable to all the water we have gotten the last 10 years or so combined. My patio kept getting flooded over and over again.
Then I thought about how we just redid the logo and website and Facebook page design and it has the ocean with breaking waves on it, whereas before it was the trees in the forest. Then I thought about the webinar video I created and again it was about “Catching The Perfect Wave”. Even right now with my remodeling of the bathroom I just discovered that I have to replace all of the drainage pipes as they used cast iron when the house was built and they are all damaged with rust and corrosion.
In a recent deep meditation class I asked my intuition what I needed to know. I am very visual and it showed me this vision in which I had already given birth and was now expelling the afterbirth. Childbirth has a lot to do with water – LOL. When I looked up the meaning behind this it validated my thoughts that I am in the middle of a big life transition. I have been told for the past 6 months that I am probably going to be laid off from work. I have been preparing for this liquidating our other properties we own, paying off debt and getting everything ready for the possibility.
Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.
– Paulo Coelho
I think that this is why water is showing up for me, Big changes are coming. Everyone I was talking to at all three events were experiencing big changes in their lives. They were all in the midst of some transition in their lives. I am taking a leap of faith in my own transition that it is time for me to devote full time to LemonadeMakers. To finish the online courses I am writing. To find a new publisher for my first three books, that I had ready to print when the company that was doing it sent me an email that they shut their doors. To begin coaching life transformation full time, instead of part time. This is a big risk as I have never been self employed. It is a big risk, because I have no idea where this journey will take me. I just know that water says I have to go.
No one knows what changes, big or small, lie ahead.
One thing is certain, our journey’s not over.
Enjoy each and every step.
So my question for you is this – what is trying to get your attention? What are you ignoring because you are so busy doing, that you are forgetting to take the time to listen?
Take the time to look behind you for signs. Listen to what keeps occurring in your life. See the doors that you walked past not realizing they were there. Realize that you are probably in the midst of a transition yourself. Be brave. Go someplace even if it is simply a walk in the woods and get away from the everyday part of your life. Ask yourself what do I need to know for the next part of my journey.
Come attend our next webinar and explore what we have to offer to take you to a new level of self transformation. Click on the link below to learn more about our next webinar to “Catch the Perfect Wave”.
Consult not your fears, but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you have tried and failed in, but with what is still possible to do.
– Pope John XXIII
Everyone has dreams. How many times have you said the words, “I thought of that idea, but didn’t know how to accomplish it” – or “that could have been me being rich and famous, I thought of that idea years ago”? I believe that the universe downloads great ideas to many, because most of us will never chase the dream into a reality.
We may place blame, give reasons, and even have excuses, but in the end, it is an act of cowardice to not follow your dreams.
– Dr. Steve Maraboli
When we are dream chasers we realize that the person who we are, has just been constructed out of myths we have told ourselves since we were children. That this person who was created out of ideas, beliefs and images – is not really who we are. Those myths don’t define us, and they are not who we are deep inside our souls. The dream is our souls way of clearing out all of the things that no longer serve us. It draws out of the center of our soul who we really are.
Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground.
– Wilfred Peterson
When we decide to become dream chasers, it changes our life forever. This is because this decision means that we have decided to become someone different than we have been. We realize that in order to bring the dream into reality, we have to become who the dream is calling us to be. Someone who is brave enough to follow her own wild and crazy ideas. Someone who has the courage to put as much effort into doubting the fears that come up when we go outside the safe zone in our lives, as we put into doubting our dreams. Someone who puts her visions of what is possible onto the world stage.
Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.
– Gloria Steinem
We realize as dream chasers, that our dreams are a verb, an action needs to take place. We need to serenade our dreams, ranging from the simple love ballad to the romantic symphony, reflecting the intensity of our love for the dream we are chasing. We bleed the words of our souls poetry onto the page of our dreams, spilling out our hearts desires. We float across the dance floor of our dreams, with the intensity of the Paso Doble. The paint of our dreams swirls across the canvas, blending in the colors of our life as we paint it into existence. As the conductor of the orchestra, with the baton leading the intensity of the music, we create a tapestry of tones and colors across the mind.
Dreams are valuable commodities. They propel us forward. They give us energy.
– John C. Maxwell
All of this art creates the souls wishes from deep inside of us, out into the world stage. The distance between our dream and reality is bridged by action. Small steps become long distances, when we just keep walking. Remember the joy of the babies first step? Then we hold out our hands and just keep walking backwards one step to encourage them to take another and another. The next thing we know they are running across the room, the yard, and the world. Small steps become long distances, when we just keep walking.
What is most needed at this moment, is for all of us to let lose our passions, and come alive. Come alive and go out and do what you see needs to be done. Don’t wait for someone else to solve your problems, or your neighborhoods problems or the worlds problems. Come alive and do something. Join an organization to help others; get involved in volunteering, in politics, in raising your hand and saying, “I can do that”.
The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.
Refuse to let the fears and nightmares of other people’s lives distort our dreams. Don’t apologize for having dreams. Don’t stop chasing them because others don’t want us to try to bring them into reality. We realize that chasing our dreams is hard work. That chasing our dreams will change our lives, and the lives of every person we impact. We don’t stop chasing our dreams because they excite our spirit. We have a deep hunger that can’t be satisfied in any other way. It is our road, our dreams, our life.
Don’t follow your dreams; chase them . . .
– Kunal Patel
Dreams are all about transforming. When we listen to our souls voice, we see these dreams play out in our imagination. Our imagination is the illustrator to the book that your soul has written out on your heart. It is up to you to read the blueprint designs, and go out into the world and build them into reality. Negative people are like termites. If you let them into your dreams, they will destroy what you are building. You are far too smart, to let the negativity of your own mind or that of others stand in your way.
Keep your dreams alive. Understand that to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.
– Gail Devers
Remember that God put that dream into your heart. He whispers to your soul what the next step is to bring it into reality. You just need to listen, believe and go out and do what you can do. God will make sure the right doors open, but you have to step through them. I encourage you to check out our LemonadeMakers Club. It is being designed with helping each of us to dig deeper into hearing our own inner guidance. To learn to understand the directions of the divine through our souls voice. To better understand not only how to access it, but to see what in our lives is undergoing transformation and learn to work with it, instead of against it.
We all want to be liked and accepted. This internal need that we have to be loved, sometimes causes us to put on a mask of who we think that they want us to be. The perfect little girl. The shy teenager. The smile pasted on our face, that life is wonderful, when inside we are screaming in frustration.
Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.
– Jim Carey
It is hard to show up without any masks, but it is vitally important for us to be true to who we are. These masks are the cause of so much unhappiness. We meet someone we like, but if we are both wearing masks, then neither of us is communicating who we really are. We fall in love with the mask and not the person. We communicate to the mask, and what the person is trying to say never gets heard. We create so much drama and trauma to ourselves and others that way.
If you are not living your truth, you’re living a lie.
– Joseph Curiale
If you just say what you really mean, life gets so much easier. The truth is that I may not be who I want to be yet. But I have come a long way from where I used to be. And I want to continue removing mask after mask and burning them up, so that who I show up as, is always the real me.
Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.
– Brene’ Brown
What I loved about this photo is that they people in it are being crazy. They are being stupid and silly and weird. But when you look at each face you see that they are also being happy. How many times do you catch your face in the mirror or a reflection on a window and see that kind of happy expression on your face? On others faces that you love? We all need to be who we are and find those happy faces more often. When we let the world’s conflicts and tragedy’s be the things we focus on, we lose that happiness. The news focuses on hyping the negative, and giving us very little of the positive things that happen every day.
Every day a new mom and dad have this wonderful new baby come into their lives and change them forever. Every day a child does something wonderful, like riding a bike for the first time, or winning a race, or making a home run. And they celebrate with their loved ones what they achieved. Every day a police man or a fire man or the driver of an ambulance saves a loved ones life, and they celebrate they have another day with their loved ones. Every day someone is doing something wonderful, brave, heroic, and we lose sight the of the wonderful. We need to celebrate all of the wonderful things that happen in our lives and the lives of those we love. Don’t let those who are still sleep walking through their lives stand in the way of your awakening.
Closing with this quote, because “I see you” needs to be something that happens to us and we need to see others.
If there is any need that is perpetually unmet on this planet, it is the need to feel seen. To feel seen in our humanity, in our vulnerability, in our beautiful imperfection. When we are held safe in that, a key turns inside of our hearts, freeing us from our isolation, transforming our inner world. If there is anything we can offer each other, it is the gift of sight. “I SEE YOU” – perhaps the most important words we can utter to another. I See You.
– Jeff Brown
We need to stop being invisible, and we need to let those who are trying to be, know that we see them as a human being deserving of love and respect. We don’t have to agree with everything that they have done in their lives, to still give them love and respect. How many people in nursing homes, living in the street, eating their lunch alone in the café – how many people do we pass by that are not being seen? How many just need a hug, and someone to say, I See You? I SEE YOU!
You are capable of far more than you know. Don’t be afraid to unleash your greatness.
There comes a time when the desire for transformation demands action. Never let your fears be the deciding factor, of taking that action.
Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts.
– Albert Einstein
This is so important when you are looking at the big dream, because 99% of people will tell you all the reasons why it can’t be done. What Albert Einstein was really saying, is that the big dreams lay outside of the box of rules on how things are done.
People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
We shared a story about a pilot who was born without arms and flies with her feet at the controls. Another story featured a woman born without legs who surfs and skateboards competitively. These two women have big dreams and accomplish them because they believe they can find a way to make it work. They defy the odds. They don’t let missing arms or legs be a limiting factor to their dreams.
More recently on America’s Got Talent there is the wonderful story of a young woman who lost her hearing as a teenager, who writes her own music, plays ukulele and sings beautifully. She spent a few years raging against the world for taking away her dream to be a singer and then figured out a way to do it anyway.
Janine Shepherd is a public speaker and author of several books including “Defiant: A Memoir”. Shepherd had been an aspiring Olympic cross-country skier. She was nearly killed when she was hit by a truck during a training bike ride. Paralyzed and immobile for six months, she was given a grim picture for recovery. Not only did she teach herself to walk again — she learned to fly — becoming an aerobatics pilot. Her TED Talk is: Janine Shepherd: How Can We Redefine Ourselves After A Tragedy? Her story is amazing because she took her story and reformed it to continue to push the edges of her potential, not settling for the Janine Shepherd, disabled story.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company . . . a church . . . a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past . . . we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you . . . we are in charge of our Attitudes.
– Charles R. Swindell
So what are some tools you can use to lasso those big dreams into the barn? One suggestion is to have either a half day or full day block of time to write and brainstorm about the ideas on how to accomplish your dreams.
Another suggestion I read recently was to have what they called “implementation intentions”. We have all heard of intentions being set to bring something into your sphere of influence to assist you with a goal in your life. This is setting an intention with steps to implement the intention into reality. I have done this in my life without realizing what I was doing.
Dreams become reality when intentions turn into actions.
Years ago one of my sons got engaged in the month of February. The wedding date was set for August and my goal was to save enough money to be able to pay for their honeymoon for them. I had it budgeted out and while it was a little tight I knew that I could stretch and make it happen. Then in March they decided to move the wedding to the end of May. I looked at the numbers and I had no idea how I was going to be able to pay for it in less than 60 days.
I sat down and starting writing out how happy I was that I had come up with a way to pay for their honeymoon. I wrote about how wonderful the wedding was and how much they enjoyed their honeymoon. I put ever ounce of energy into the writing, with the words emoting all five senses as I wrote out how they loved Mexico – the sound of the surf, the smell of the flowers, the tastes of the spicy food. I expressed thankfulness and gratitude with every sentence.
After I finished the letter, I still didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I had my intentions pulling in all possibilities. About a week later I received a phone call out of the blue about a property that we have in Upstate New York. We owned a 10 acre parcel next door to our second home free and clear and the neighbors across the street wanted to purchase it for $17,000 and do a fast cash closing. With that money and what I had in savings, the honeymoon was paid for.
Set your intentions, be open to miracles, let go and let God take guided action. Let your dreams unfold like a beautiful flower.
– Anna Taylor
That was a big dream that scared me, because I had no idea when the date changed that I could make it happen. I still am amazed at the timing of how it all worked out. I think that this is how all of the really big dreams happen. We start out with the idea, which becomes a goal, which becomes an implemented intention. We get really specific in our minds as to what happened and leave the hows to the universe, while at the same time, using all of our tools to bring our dreams into reality.
Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams, or wake up and chase them.
There is a Native American saying, “give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.” So dream so big that everyone thinks your crazy. Don’t let yourself or anyone else limit you. The time is now to follow your passions. Lasso that dream and bring in home. The goal is to die with memories, not just dreams of what could have been.
Powered by WishList Member - Membership Software