Have you ever felt like you have a recurring theme in your life? Something that keeps showing up over and over again?
All of us have gold hidden within, but we have to dig to get it out.
– Joyce Meyer
When I was 4 years old I went through a trauma that said it wasn’t safe to be seen or heard. I then spent most of my adult life trying to figure out why I always seemed to have one foot on the gas, and one foot on the brake. Most of us experienced something in our early childhood, from conception through the 8th year or so, that became an unconscious program running in the background of our decision making process.
Scars are just a treasure map for pain you’ve buried too deep to remember.
– Jodi Picoult
I went for professional help because I had buried the memory, and could remember nothing of my childhood until my first day of school. Once I uncovered the memory, I could see how this one experience had impacted my entire life. I had become stuck in my own life, and it was like the car stuck in the mud. The wheels were spinning, but all that was happening was that I was throwing dirt all over the place. Now that I could see how the car was stuck in the mud, I could use tools to get back onto the dry road, and get moving on my own journey of personal transformation.
The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.
– Neil Gaiman
We all have these buried treasures that we were gifted with to share with the world. At some point in our life, someone or something happened that convinced us they were worthless pieces of trash. So feeling guilty, embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid, we buried them deep inside of ourselves. Piece by piece, they must be dug up, polished up, and shared. It is these treasures which will shift the world to a better place for all of us. I write to share my treasures with everyone. I am working very hard to help the nonprofits be able to share their treasures with the world. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book “Big Magic” called this “strange jewels” which are buried within us, waiting to be uncovered.
You have extraordinary treasures hidden within you. Bringing forth those treasures takes work and faith and focus and courage and hours of devotion.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
Most of us spend our lives looking outside of ourselves for fulfillment. If we are the perfect child, the perfect student, the perfect spouse or parent, or the perfect employee, then we will be fulfilled. Nothing outside of ourselves can really provide long lasting validation, security or love. We can get temporary fixes which fail, and then we are on our way to the next partner, or job. Or we condemn ourselves as failures and stop seeking any kind of love, security or fulfillment.
Sometimes we spend our whole lives running away from ourselves and the pain that lives within us. We bury it down deep and convince ourselves that it too much to bear. But in that pain is great treasure. There is beauty in the depths of our souls, where we have hidden our gifts. The great religious leaders recognize the truth of this.
We are all jars of clay, fragile and poor, yet we carry within us an immense treasure.
– Pope Francis
Every moment of our life is wrapped up in change. Every truth of today, will not necessarily be the truth tomorrow. New discoveries in science, uncover and shifts the foundations of what we know. Technology is constantly changing all aspects of our life. In the same way, as we dig and uncover what lies deep within ourselves, we reach new truths about ourselves. We become more conscious, more awake. The Founder of Agape International Spiritual Center, Michael Beckwith took it a step further in reflecting that these divine gifts and priceless treasures were given to us to help shift not just our own consciousness, but the consciousness of the world.
We are on the planet to …, wrap our consciousness around the divine treasure within us.
– Michael Beckwith
We all have these treasure maps inside of us, which lead us to the divine treasure of love. Love of Self, Love of God and Family, Love of the World. We are all diamonds in the rough, and the journey through this divine love reveals the beauty of the diamond within us.
Sometimes you just need an adventure to cleanse the bitter taste of life from your soul
One of the processes many of us go through at the end of the year is to go through the year that is passing. We look at our highlights, both good and bad. The successes we celebrate and the failures we sift through for the good pieces hidden in the ashes. I think that one of the things to plan for the new year is an adventure. It could be as simple as a hike up into the mountains where we can just sit in the silence and commune with our soul. Or it could be that we take a trip to somewhere we have never been.
It could be within driving distance of where we live or we could travel to a foreign country. What it needs to be is an experience that is something totally out of our comfort zone. Doing this gives us a new perspective in our life. It shifts our viewpoints and sometimes it changes our life in unforeseen ways.
The secret of making dreams come true can be summarized in four C’s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy; and the greatest of these is confidence
– Walt Disney
When we take the time at the end of the year or the beginning of the new year to look at our life, we need to be gentle with ourselves. Going deep within using Disney’s four C’s will unlock things in our heart, soul and mind that we didn’t know where there. In talking to my life/business coaches a thought floated to the surface around money. Years ago, when I would be in a discussion around money with my husband, I would say I wanted to have something physical to show in my hands for the money that I spendt. I haven’t said this for years, but it brought to the surface a belief about money that was hidden within me that needs to be released. When you approach these hidden beliefs without judgement, but instead curiosity it becomes so easy to let them go.
To breathe your own truth is your heart’s most burning desire. To live your purpose is your soul’s lifelong dream.
Don’t be at war with yourself when you look at the blocks that you have. We all have some beliefs, which block the path to our soul’s dream. Instead get curious. Give your basic life tools the chance to work, by working with them. Meditation, journaling, routines to take care of your health, living in gratitude for what each day has brought to you. Instead of challenges, you believe that you have opportunities for growth.
Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.
– Dr. Steve Maraboli
Taking down the walls you have been building your whole life to expose yourself as you really are. True freedom doesn’t have limits to who you can be. Taking up the practice of something new to grow your soul is completely dependent on your realizing it doesn’t matter that you do it well or badly. Just that you do in fact do it. You are the one who decides that an experience or change in your life is personal growth, or that it creates personal fears. Get curious and give yourself the love that you give so freely to others. Be a soothing balm to your soul.
Don’t be beautiful. They keep saying that beautiful is something a girl needs to be. But honestly? Forget that. Don’t be beautiful. Be angry, be intelligent, be witty, be klutzy, be interesting, be funny, be adventurous, be crazy, be talented – there are an eternity of things to be other than beautiful. And what is beauty anyway but a set of letters strung together to make a word? Be your own definition of amazing, always. That is so much more important than anything beautiful, ever.
– Nikita Gill
Audrey Hepburn to me is what this quote is talking about. She grew up in Belgium and was involved in fighting against the Nazi’s. She was a professional dancer and began acting just to help support her mom. At the time she wasn’t considered a beauty. Her body wasn’t the right shape, her eyebrows too bushy. But she lived her life as she wanted and because she wasn’t afraid to be who she was, she became an icon.. She won a Tony, an Oscar and Grammy and is one of only 12 people to win all three. She insisted that Hubert de Givenchy design all of her clothes for the movies she was in. She later stepped away from Hollywood and concentrated on he work as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF. I love her quote, “I’m Possible” for impossible as well as several others. She was an eternity of things, including beautiful and to me a wonderful example of living her life on her own terms.
There is a saying, if you want to change your life, change your thoughts. Thoughts are like a series of stepping stones across a river. Some of the stones are slippery from the moss as the water runs over them. Some of them are unstable and rock as you step on them. Some of the stones are tilted with edges that cut like a knife and hard to walk across. Some of the stones are firmly planted like a foundation stone. We can’t cross the river without stepping on the stones. We choose the stones to step on. Each stone we walk across, becomes part of our life’s path. Some trip us up and we fall into the water. Some support us, some don’t. Life demands change, but it always comes back to us choosing.
We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.
– Max Depree
I am listening to the Lord of The Rings soundtrack as I write this. The Lord of the Rings is one of my favorite books and it really exemplifies change, with the journey of the characters. Some like Frodo and Samwise were challenged to greatness. They had failures when it seemed like the evil of the ring would destroy them. They wanted to give up, because what was asked of them was so hard. They kept walking towards their destination and that journey forged them, like a hammer hitting them again and again as they walked through the fiery tests. Each challenge brought them closer to the great characters they had the potential to be.
Inspiration and growth only come from adversity and from challenge – from stepping away from what’s comfortable and familiar and stepping out in the unknown
– Ben Saunders
Boromir failed in his duty. Gollum swung from bad to good to bad again. Saurman fell from being a protector of the world to its destroyer. So many were tested and found wanting, not because it was their destiny to fail, or that they were inherently evil. It was because they stopped trying to be good and wise. It was easier to let the bad take over. Sometimes we think that we have lost of the best part of us, like when Gandalf went down into the fires with the Balrog, and we don’t know how we can continue. It seems like all is lost. But like Gandalf coming back as a new being, we can always be reborn. As long as we keep walking, the way will open before us. When we push the edges of the known universe, we discover new lands to explore.
I always find beauty in things that are odd and imperfect – they are much more interesting.
– Marc Jacobs
Have you ever monitored the thoughts that cross your mind? The things you think, but filter and so don’t say? An interesting exercise is to sit on a bench at a mall, park or beach – somewhere where there are lots of people. Turn on the recording button on your phone and just record your thoughts as you watch the people walk by. When you replay it, notice if the majority of your thoughts were positive or negative. Where you funny? Quirky? Profound? Think about your favorite TV shows or movies. The characters in the book, movie, TV shows that you remember and fall in love with, are the ones that are quirky – Spock or Data from Star Trek, or maybe the science nerd from NCIS Abby or Dr. Mallard. Punky Brewster with the funny socks. The characters on The Big Bang Show. The list goes on and on. Find the beauty in you being you.
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
– George Bernard Shaw
Asking yourself questions about your thoughts can provide useful insight into thoughts that you can work on changing. Whenever anything went wrong for my mom, she had a habit of saying, “I could just kill myself”. She didn’t even realize she was saying it until one day my son said to her after something happened, “I know grandma you could just kill yourself”. She was horrified that she had said this so often that her young grandson said it back to her, and she stopped saying it.
Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere.
As you get curious and not judgmental about the thoughts, dig beneath them to see what patterns are in your life that you didn’t realize were there. We all have them. How many times have you been driving to or from work and realized that you are missing moments in your drive – that suddenly you are home or at work and you don’t remember part of the drive? Shifting the patterns is what makes real transformation of your thoughts. I have hated spiders since I was a kid and got bit when I was sleeping on my hand. When I was talking a college creative writing course years ago, they had us read a book by Sue Hubbell. Her husband and her were both professors at a University and he decided one day to walk away from tenure and go live in the Ozarks. A few months later, he left Sue also and she wrote about that year in her life where everything fell apart and she was left with no money and no job and a house in the middle of nowhere.
Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
– Wayne W. Dyer
Each chapter was written around something in nature. One chapter was about spiders. When I finished that chapter, my relationship with spiders changed. While I still don’t “like” them, I am no longer terrified of them. This chapter for me highlighted the fact that when we learn more about something, it changes our relationship with it. It takes the fears away, because we removed the unknown from the equation. When you go beyond what you think is real, you step into the unknown. While the unknown is filled with fears, each day our relationship with it changes, because more becomes known. Like walking down a path through the fog – we may not be able to see far into the distance, but each step reveals what was hidden before. Just keep stepping on the next stone, taking the next step in your life. Make this quote your mantra, and you will have an amazing life.
Today I create a WONDERFUL NEW DAY and a WONDERFUL NEW FUTURE.
– Louise Hay
In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be.
– The Dreamer
When you were this girls age, you had dreams about who you wanted to be when you grew up. You may already have been singing, or dancing, or wanting to be a doctor or lawyer. Between this age and actually growing up most of us have our dreams dashed in some way. It may be that someone teases us that we can’t carry a tune, or we are doing the dance wrong. Or maybe they tell us that we should choose a less challenging career than a doctor or lawyer, because we really aren’t that smart. Or it could be more subtle where we are being directed by our parents into the career that they want for us.
Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
Along the way we also learn to hide who we are. We learn that others judge us, so we put on masks to conform to who they want us to dress like, look like, act like. We hide our dreams so that no one can destroy them any further. We learn not to trust our hearts to be in others hands. We give up on what is possible and settle for what is conforming to the needs of others. We forget who we are and what we are here for. We no longer take part in the dance of life, but settle back against the wall and watch those with more courage or talent dance it in front of us.
Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.
There is only one way to truly know who you are deep down inside. You have to get in touch with your own soul. You need to be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and just listen. Looking back at your life, find the places where you were really happy. Find the things that are so easy for you to do, that others find hard or impossible. Trace back all of the threads that have your name engraved upon them. Start picking out and removing all of the threads that are not you. Look for the gold and silver pieces and toss out the dross. Now look for the patterns that are left. The amazing thing is that it usually takes you back to this age. The age when you acted out who you really were, before society broke you like a young colt and told you who to be. The threads of genius that are all you, can now be taken up and made into whatever pattern you want. It is never too late to be who you were meant to be.
To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.
– Deepak Chopra
Sometimes when you make this journey deep into our soul, we discover that our lives have to be completely shaking up. We are covered in dust and debris that needs to be removed. We need to rearrange almost everything. Change almost everything. We need to go to the place we are supposed to be. A close friend of mine relocated from Los Angels to Italy and she loves it. The best thing to do is to remove what doesn’t belong and then figure out how to rearrange what does. It is an individual journey that defines who we are in a totally new way. We discover our truth by looking for it down deep within and then integrating it into our life. We are on a life adventure. This journey is for you alone. Embrace it and life it fully.
The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated. It isn’t true that everyone should follow one path. Listen to your own truth.
– Ram Dass
There are some that will say that living your life purpose, is being selfish. That we are ignoring the wishes of others. But actually the reverse is true. Each one of us was given as part of our life journey a divine destiny. We were born into the place and the family that would give us the tools to accomplish this purpose. Some of those life lessons come through adversity, some come as part of the journey of rediscovering who we are really meant to be. But if we don’t take the risks, make the changes and transform our lives, then our destiny will not be fulfilled. And we will not be living the life that God sent us here to live. So it is actually selfish to not live up to our full potential. To not find out who we are supposed to be. To not utilize our power to its full capability. To not live out loud and up front our God given destiny.
. . . it’s a life’s journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else . . .
– Mariska Hargitay
Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.
– Rikki Rogers
Life in a Jar . . . a play written by school children in Kansas. Tells the story of Irena Sendlerowa who saved around 2,500 Jewish babies from Nazi death camps. Saying that what she did was nothing special, she said “I was brought up to believe that a person must be rescued when drowning, regardless of religion and nationality. The term hero irritates me greatly. The opposite is true. I continue to have pangs of conscience that I did so little.” She was captured by the Gestapo and beaten, breaking and crushing her legs and feet, and then driven away to be executed. One the way, she was rescued. She was never able to walk without crutches afterwards. I think that most of us wonder if we would have had the strength and courage to do what Irena did. Risk our lives for children that we didn’t know. To survive that kind of beating. To have the attitude of thinking that we could have done more than rescue 2,500 children. She is a special kind of hero.
The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
As brave as Irena was, think for a moment of being the mother who had to decide if she could give up her child. What guarantee was there that this would in fact save their child? Where did such inner strength come from? Most of the parents who gave up their children did not survive the war, and lost their lives in the death camps. Put yourself in that place for just a moment, could you have given your child to Irena? Their story is told in the PBS program, “Irena Sandler: In the Name of Their Mothers”.
Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths.
– Drew Barrymore
Harriet Tubman is another amazing woman. Born a slave, she ran away leaving her husband and children to escape slavery. Walking almost 90 miles to Philadelphia with no map, directions or help. She returned to the South at least 19 times and lead her family and hundreds of other slaves to freedom via the Underground Railroad. She was very intuitive and had dreams that would tell her when to leave the road, or that a particular way was not safe. A movie about her life was made, called “A Woman Called Moses”. She is an inspiration again, for standing up for what is right with bravery and courageous action. After rescuing her family, the fact that she went back again and again, with a large bounty on her head for over 10 years makes her a monument to courage and determination. She was also involved in helping women get the vote, working with Susan B Anthony.
Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.
– Christian D. Larson
We could write story after story about amazing people who showed tremendous resilience and courage. Who dug down deep within themselves to find their inner strength to live through trials and tribulations. Who fought through the inner and outer darkness of their lives. In fact, all of us have such stories within our own lives. We may think that what we have done in our lives doesn’t compare to the stories we have heard, the ones that we have labeled as heroes. I am sure that if you were to talk with Malala Yousufzai, she would insist that what she did standing up in defiance to those who wanted to prevent her being educated, was nothing notable. We are all Irena’s, and Harriet’s, and Malala’s.
Every woman had infinite potential to achieve anything she wants. She just needs to stop underestimating herself and discover her true inner strength. She will find within her an unlimited capacity to achieve.
– Aarti Khurana
Maya Angelou is another courageous woman, my hero. Her writing and her wisdom are so inspiring. One of my favorite quotes of hers, “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it”. We all face in our lives numerous times that test us. Things happen that can shatter us, that can pierce our souls. But nothing that happens can reduce us to something less that we are.
A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey, but a woman of strength knows it is in the journey where she will become strong.
Like the water in a lake. Something can cause large ripples that disturb our peace, that shatters our emotions. The cause of the disturbance, like a large rock, might sink to the bottom of our lake, our souls. It might forever change us, but it does not reduce us. We still have the power to return to our inner and outer peace. To continue to learn, grow, and transform our lives. To be curious as to what else is possible in our lives. To be an intelligent, courageous, loving woman who teaches others by being her best possible self.
You are a woman of strength, courage and dignity; one who values herself and fights for what she believes in. A woman who won’t give up on her dreams regardless of how many obstacles stand in her way. If that doesn’t make you beautiful and magnificent, I don’t know what does.
There is an inner beauty about a girl who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a girl who follows her own path, who isn’t thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is an inner beauty about a girl whose confidence comes from experiences, who knows she can fall, pick herself up and move on – Unknown
I love the last line. When we step outside of our comfort zone, when we take a leap of faith, there are times we fall down. It is part of the process. When a baby starts crawling, then climbing up and walking along the furniture, they display the perfect attitude. They take a step or two, with wobbly legs and almost no balance. They fall on their butts. They may cry. But the next thing you know they are back to trying to take another step.
We tell them “come to moma” and they get the biggest grins on their faces, so excited. They take a wobbly step after wobbly step into the moms arms. This is what walking outside the comfort zone is about. Taking a first step and another, wobbling along the way. Crashing and burning and getting back up until we can walk with perfect balance and ease.
She was unstoppable. not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she continued on despite them – Unknown
No matter how many defeats we encounter, we can recover. We are resilient and we don’t “cry uncle”, we figure out another way around the obstacle and continue on. Along our life journey we can expect that there will be times when we become lost to our purpose and passion in life. We may encounter some sort of addiction problem; we may go through the loss of a spouse or child that sends us off the deep end; we may have severe health issues that make us wonder if we want to continue living; we may encounter mental health issues. What we need to understand is that there isn’t any mistake or issue in our life that we can’t rise up out of.
Strong Woman – you may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it – Maya Angelou
Recovery from anything goes through a process. Good days, bad days. You will sometimes feel all alone and maybe even abandoned by others. The flip side of that feeling is that you are now empowered to help others who are struggling. Your friends and family may not understand what you are going through. Instead of bottling up your struggle or judging them as insensitive, you have the opportunity to try to explain in a million different ways. Sometimes if they haven’t walked in your shoes, it is like trying to explain the fax machine to a two year old. You can explain how it works a million different ways, but they won’t understand. So that has to be ok. Sometimes we just have to accept, “it is what it is” and move onward.
Whenever we begin to feel as if we can no longer go on, hope whispers in our ear to remind us that we are strong – Robert M Hensel
Your problems won’t magically go away, but as you recover they will become more and more manageable. The days of overwhelm will get fewer. As you go through the process of recovery, you will change in many small and large ways. It is hard to see the changes yourself. It is like when you have a 12 month old who is learning how to walk, run, and talk. They are growing like crazy, but we don’t really notice until nothing they have fits. But if you were to go on a trip for two weeks and come back to that toddler, you would immediately see all of the changes in growth and things that they are doing. Others notice the changes faster than we do, because they have the space away from us.
Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion – Unknown
The important thing to remember when we are going through any kind of recovery, is the end result that we are working towards. What we are fighting for. Working out everyday at the gym results in our becoming happier, healthier, stronger, as step by step we are recovering. There may be times in the fight where we miss guarding ourselves and get punched. We may fall to the ground, breathing heavy, wondering if we can get back up. What we have to remember is that as long as we get back up, keep fighting for our wholeness, we have not lost.
Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted. – Unknown
Take the time to breathe. It seems simple, but have you ever we taken a yoga class and been reminded that you are holding your breath and you need to breathe? Or maybe doing something on a machine in the gym and the instructor is reminding you to breathe? There are times were we seem to hold our breath, because something is somewhat painful. There are times when are so excited or angry that we forget to breathe. The proverb of taking 10 deep breaths before speaking or acting comes into play here. When we take really deep full belly breaths it somehow seems to disconnect us from our runaway emotions and allows our brain to reconnect and begin to direct our thoughts.
We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same – Carlos Castenada
If we take those 10 deep full belly breaths right now, you will see what I mean. It will allow you to see some patterns, some logical reasoning comes back into your space and you can see how although the recovery was painful, it does have some wonderful jewels buried right alongside of you. There are some positive things that you have learned about yourself on this journey. Today is the best day to celebrate with gratitude those gifts. Believe in yourself again. Love those around you and most importantly love yourself. Live, Laugh, Love and celebrate life again.
It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it.
So how do you work with your mind to change your story? You acknowledge that you are where you are in your story because of how you did, or did not use your power. You realize that while you can’t control every challenge that happens in your life, you can control your response to it. That is where your power to control your story originates – how you respond.
Allowing people inside your life is a beautiful thing. Letting go of people who drain your spirit is another beautiful thing you can do for your life. The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.
First step is to silence the mind. The subconscious mind is so busy trying to distract us from our real story. It wants us to get lost in the stories of who our parents said we were. Of who our friends and relatives expect us to be. But our true story is waiting in our hearts to be re-discovered. To be released from the cage that we put it in when we were small children.
Meditation is a great way to learn to silence the mind. Visualization is another great way to give the mind something structured to do, so that it will let our heart and soul communicate with us. For me, my heart and soul communicates best in my dreams. Many of my poems and best blog posts come from ideas in my dreams.
The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.
Second step is to let go of trying to control things that you have no control over. To let go of what you can’t change. Which usually means that we are trying to control the behavior of someone else. Or control things over which we have no power in the first place.
In our life story we sometimes have to climb a high mountain pass. We are supposed to travel up over the pass and back down the other side. As we follow our road over the mountain, we may find the road has been washed out. We might find the road has had a rock or mud slide. Maybe a bridge is out, or there is a raging forest fire. We might have to detour around whatever the roadblock is. That doesn’t mean that we drag all of those rocks, mud, broken bridges or burning bushes with us, as we go down the other side of the mountain. We leave that roadblock on the road. It is not our business to fix the road. It is not our burden to control the journey and demand that the road be repaired before we continue across the mountain. Our business is to simply travel to our destination by any means possible. It is in the traveling that we learn, change, adapt and transform.
One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.
Third step is to really, truly, believe from the bottom of your soul, that you are unique, no one in the entire universe is like you, and that is how it is supposed to be. Stop trying to fit in a mold. Stop trying to be Martha Stewart in the home, and Oprah at work, and Marilyn Monroe in the bedroom, all rolled up into one amazing super woman. Don’t try to make yourself live out someone else’s story. Live your own.
You weren’t made to replicate, obey or stand in the shadow of another person. You were made to stand in your own power and find the truth in your soul..
Fourth Step is to realize that while we all need a helping hand once in a while, nothing will destroy our power to live our own story faster than having the habit of depending on others. Just like a tree that grows in the forest, we must grow deep roots to support our upward growth. If we start leaning on the trees that we are planted by, when the storm comes into our life our roots will not support us and we will crash to the ground. The unfortunate thing about our crash is how we damage those next to us as we fall. We must learn to stand up alone and be an original.
Nothing else so destroys the power to stand alone as the habit of leaning upon others. If you lean, you will never be strong or original. Stand alone or bury your ambition to be somebody in the world.
– Orison Swett Marden
Fifth Step has to do with your relationship with yourself. Really understanding what real self love and self trust is all about. Not having these vital areas in balance in your life is what leads to most of our broken, damaged relationships – with friends, with family, with our spouse, with our co-workers at our job, It enters into how people treat us, how we communicate our needs, wants and desires, and how we are perceived in the world.
The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
– Jane Travis
Sixth Step is your relationship to others and the world. You can’t make everyone happy and it isn’t your job to do so. There are always going to be people who say that you are “not enough” – not good enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough . . . and so on. Those judgments are on them. They want to feel better by having their own problems being pushed off on to you. It is not your job to judge them back. To think that you have to show others what kind of “bad” people they are. Their true colors will come out without your help or assistance. Don’t blame others for your life, and don’t accept the blame for how they are living their own life.
Give. But don’t allow yourself to be used.
Love. But don’t allow your heart to be abused.
Trust. but don’t be naïve.
Listen. But don’t lose your own voice.
– thisislovelifequotes. net
There are more steps, breadcrumbs that you find along your journey. It all begins with a simple decision. Is this DAY ONE, or is this ONE DAY? You decide. What’s your story?
You tell me to quiet down cause my opinions make me less beautiful. But I was not made with a fire in my belly so I could be put out. I was not made with a lightness in my tongue so I could be easy to swallow. I was made heavy – half blade and half silk. Difficult to forget but not easy for the mind to follow.
– Rupi Kaur
Life gives us a lot of experiences. They run the whole emotional scale. We fall from ecstatic joy to pain that leaves us whimpering in the corner, wishing that death would come and take us away from it. Life gives us the experience of Heaven, Hell and every realm between. Like clay we are formed and molded by our life experiences. Like clay we go through the fire. But we have a choice about what that fire does to us. We can choose to become rigid, brittle and defined by those fires, so that everyone we meet hears about our horrific life. Or, we can choose to become refined by the fire, tempered by it and made stronger.
Some women fear the fire, some women simply become it . . .
– r.h. sin
Why would we fear the fire? Because when we are refined by the fire, it exposes us. We see the ugly parts of us, and we have to acknowledge that they are part of us. We can’t deny it, we can’t make it be less than it is, we can’t say it doesn’t exist, and that somehow that ugly bit of us is actually someone else’s fault. We can’t say I lost my temper and it was that persons fault or that they deserved us to go nuclear on them. The fire shines the light on us, and if we stand up in that light and acknowledge who we are, then we have the opportunity to transform it. We can release the negativity and shift it and change it into something better.
She wasn’t looking for a knight, she was looking for a sword.
We all have this mix of fairy tale dreams where we want someone to take care of us, and yet at the same time we fiercely do not want someone to fix us. We are not looking to be fixed. We are not broken and damaged and needing to be rescued. That is judging our experience when you don’t know our whole story. That is making assumptions of what our dreams are made up of. That is not understanding what our destiny is preparing us for. We don’t need a hero, we are one. What we need is a sword to cut out of us all of the parts that do not serve us, and do not belong as part of us.
Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.
– Stephanie Bennett Henry
Promise yourself that you can and will do better. Hold yourself to not looking back. Learn from the past but don’t live there. Leave the baggage at the airport and travel lightly through life. Anything that shattered you wasn’t meant for you. We have this habit sometimes of holding on to something that doesn’t serve us. We stay in the job, where we are experiencing bullying, where we are put down because we believe in some way it is true. We stay in a relationship that burns our soul, sacrificing ourselves because they say they love us even when their actions tell us it is a lie. Don’t continue to dance on the broken glass, thinking that we can somehow fix it. It will just slice our souls and shred our spirits.
You can’t let other people tell you who you are. You have to decide that for yourself.
At some point we have to change the situation. Instead of being battered by the storm, we have to become the storm. In order to thrive we have to become fearless in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. We have to put on our life jacket and abandon the sinking ship, with the knowledge that we will be okay. It might not be today or tomorrow, but the storm will always play itself out. The sun will shine again. You are valuable, you are a Goddess and you must firmly believe that with all of your heart and soul.
Her soul is fierce
her heart is brave
her mind is strong.
– r.h. Sin
She was powerful, not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.
This kind of power comes from the place of not needing anyone to validate who we are. To get to that space, we have gone through the refining fires. We have exposed our vulnerable places, our ugly thoughts and actions. We have brought the light to all of the dark corners of our heart. When you have faced who you really are without the masks, without the excuses and justifications, fear gets burnt out of us. Fear is a choice, and we can choose not to live at its address any longer.
We need women who are so strong they can be gentle. so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational and so disciplined they can be free
– Kavita Ramdas
When we accept who we are, we lose false pride. When we own “this is who I am” fear loses its grip on us. We are ready. We are willing. It is time to go out and fight for our dreams. We no longer feel that we are obligated to prove our worth to anyone, and if they are demanding that we do so, we just walk away.
Once upon a time you were a little girl with big dreams that you promised you’d make real one day. Don’t disappoint yourself.
The winds scattered my leaves but my roots remained firm. They tried to wound me, but I grew stronger in the broken places. I wondered if I would survive, but then I saw a sparkle . . . My tiara was a little tangled perhaps but it never fell off after all.
– Jane Lee Logan
When we were children we touched dragonflies and reached for the stars. We talked to the moon and danced through the forest with the fairies. We saw wonder and believed in happy endings. What we may not have realized is that the happy ending, was just that moment in time. That there was more to the story. The heroes journey doesn’t end. There are always more challenges, more growth. Change, transformation, life continues ever onward. The end is never really the end.
Love your whole story even if it hasn’t been the perfect fairy tale.
– Melanie Moushigian Kouloruis
In the ups and downs of life, our story goes by the meaning we put to it. How many times have you heard of someone being laid off or fired? They are anxious, panicked, and feel like the world has ended. But at some point, they start their own business, or get hired at a new company and the next thing you hear is how losing that job was the best thing that ever happened. What changed? The meaning they were putting to their own story.
We long for a fairytales in a world full of nightmares.
It really is about the meaning that you give to what is currently happening in your life. We seem to feel that life should be all roses, and forget that the roses also have thorns. Is it a rosebush or a thornbush? Look at the fairy tales themselves. Peter Pan had Captain Hook, pirates and the Crocodile. Snow White had the Evil Queen and her minions. Ariel had her father, the Sea Witch. There are always obstacles, failures, dragons and demons. They help us to grow by overcoming them.
If I’m honest I have to tell you I still read fairy tales and I like them best of all.
– Audrey Hepburn
From the Genie in the bottle, we learned to form our wishes with a lot of thought and detail, because otherwise they will turn on us. We find helpers along the way. We fight through our fears. We become less judgmental and more compassionate as we see how hard life can be. We become better people. The reason why there is a happy ending, is that the characters did not give up.
Love is overcoming obstacles, facing each challenge with integrity. Love is difficult to define and it begins with learning to truly love ourselves. Love is realizing that the world or life, doesn’t just happen to us, it happens because of us. And every single challenge, obstacle, and opportunity that happens is worth it. It is worth it because when you believe in “YOU”, you can make anything happen.
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
– C.S. Lewis
I loved the Lewis Carroll line, “the best gift you could give her was a lifetime of adventures” because it comes back to the meaning that we give to what is happening in our lives. If you look at this as a lifetime of adventures, you can be Princess Lea, or Indiana Jones. If you look at the movies they played in, they had a lot of bad things happen. They lost loved ones, lost homes, failed in epic battles. But they also believed that in the end, good wins. And if your “good” isn’t doing so well right now, then it isn’t the end. You are still in the middle of your adventure. Or maybe you’re at the scene right before the end, where everything is dark and tragic and stacked up against you so high, there is no way you can win. But if you keep moving forward, no matter how hard that step by step is, you are about to get your second wind and turn it all around.
All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
– Walt Disney
We need both courage and imagination to live the life we dream of. I am a huge Princess Bride fan. This reminds me of two scenes in the movie – one is when Wesley is on the bed. He is still not fully recovered from being mostly dead. He can hardly move, and the prince comes in to finish him off. Wesley challenges him “to the pain” and describes in great horrific detail what will happen to him should they fight. The prince ends up giving up without a fight. The whole time Wesley was completely vulnerable, but he didn’t just give up. Using his creative imagination he bluffed his way into victory from a place of complete defeat. The other scene is when Inigo Montoya finds the six fingered man and starts fighting him. At one point it appears that he is going to die and fail to avenge his father. But then he gets that second wind and defeats him. Both stories had that climax when it seemed all was dark and failure was imminent. But they kept going, one using a bluff, and one using the years of training and preparation to win the battle.
I’m a romantic and I kinda believed in this fairy tale. And in some ways I think that’s always been to my advantage, because if you can believe in something great, you can achieve something great.
– Katy Perry
Every night you dream. In your dreams about your life are these seeds of greatness. Your heart and soul speak to you in dreams. They put a little soil around those seeds of greatness. They water them. They weed out of your life the things that don’t belong. They weed out the things that are holding you back. But at the end of the day, it is up to you to take those small plants and put them out into the world to grow into what they are supposed to be. We see it happen all around us everyday. People using their imagination and technology are out there creating products, businesses, services. They are giving back to their community. They are making a difference in the world, by doing what others say can’t be done. Then there are the ones who never transplant their dreams into the world, but hold them tightly in the dark spaces of their souls. They are so afraid of the dream, that they stunt it into a characticture of what it might have been.
A dream is a wish your heart makes.
Remember Mary Poppins – “Anything can happen if you let it.” Just because you lose a shoe at midnight, it doesn’t mean that you walk home barefoot. Maybe it means a new pair of dancing shoes! And who doesn’t want a new pair of shoes?
Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.
– Jon Bon Jovi
Passion is always calling to us. It pokes at us in our dreams. It shows up in the music we listen to, the movies we watch, the books we read. We see it everywhere and we unconsciously sweep it under the rug. We don’t have time for it right now. We have jobs to go to, bills to pay, children to raise. It becomes our someday mantra. Someday I will write poetry. Someday I will write the music that I hear in my head. Someday I will write down the story I have been telling my children and draw out the illustrations. Someday I will take that class at the local community college and learn more about that profession that is calling to me. We will live the life of our dreams someday. Someday we will listen to our hearts calling. Someday we will live it, breathe it, begin it.
Passion is living uncomfortably on purpose.
It is choosing to stay up late and wake up early.
It is choosing to forego certain luxuries, and sometimes even some necessities.
It is choosing to look foolish, even when you care what others think.
It is asking for advice and choosing not to take it.
It is being afraid and anxious, but going out of your comfort zone anyway.
Even though all of our “reasons” for not following our passion seem to be logical and reasonable, they are in fact killing your soul. It has this intense yearning to reach out and grow, and we are burying it and telling it we will attend to it later. Your time is limited. The cemetery is filled with people who died with their book, their music, their unexplored talents never allowed to grow into the marvelous creations that they could have been. My grandmother made the worlds best carrot cake. Her frosting was with cream cheese, but it was different than any frosting I have ever tasted. It wasn’t too sweet, which is where for my taste buds most cakes are ruined. It was a secret recipe and one day she had a heart attack and died and no one ever knew what her secret recipe was. Today decide to share your secret recipes. Today choose to live uncomfortably on purpose. Choose to look foolish and walk away from the comfortable life and let the fires of your passion direct you., Today choose to take the first step outside of your comfort zone,.
Always go with your passions. Never ask yourself if it is realistic or not.
– Deepak Chopra
When you step outside of that comfort zone, it is really scary. Others will say, “have you gone crazy?” But secretly in their hearts they are jealous. As they watch you take not only the first step, but step after step, what you are doing is giving them permission to gather up their own courage and take their own first step. Like when we try to do anything that is new, there will be failures. What is so interesting when you look backwards and review your journey, each of those failures are when you grew the most. For me, it has been learning from a self sabotage failure, expand my comfort zone, live in that space for a while, then another push out of the comfort zone, another failure, grow from the experience and live in the new comfort zone for a while and do it all again. Your own journey will show you a pattern. Each time we examine the pattern, we can tweak it to change the trajectory to be less failures, or less time in the new comfort zone, or add in anything that we think is missing from the process. The critical thing is just like following the trail of breadcrumbs that we keep following to where our passion is leading us.
You can’t do passion halfway. Living your passion means you’re all in. You trust your heart and trust your gut wherever that takes you.
– Joe Plummer
Too many people live an unfulfilled life. They have a daily existence of doing, but they are not really being. They wake up, go to a job that doesn’t fulfill them, come home and watch TV or take care of their families needs, but at no time is there time to live the life they dream about in their hearts. Don’t settle. Don’t just live in the rut and decorate it, thinking that will make it more bearable. We think that we are making others happy by denying ourselves. But you living a half lived life doesn’t benefit anyone. You are in fact robbing your family of knowing and loving who you really are. You are stealing from the world what gifts you brought to the world. You are telling your God, thanks for the seeds of genius that you planted in me, but I am not going to use them.
Respond to every call that excites your spirit.
Instead be scared of living a life without passion directing it. Be scared of living an unfulfilled life. Be scared of being dead, while you are still alive. Don’t put off your dreams one more day. Life is really pretty simple. Stop make it more difficult than it is. Start doing things that you love. Eat every last bite. Go our and start creating. Live your dreams out loud. Wear your passion in dramatic color.
Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping . . . waiting . . . and though unwanted . . . unbidden . . . it will stir . . . open it’s jaws and howl. It speaks to us . . . guides us . . . passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love . . . the clarity of hatred . . and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If you could live without passion maybe we’d know some kind of peace . . . but we would be hollow . . . empty rooms shuttered and dark. Without passion we’d be truly dead.
– Josh Whedon
Can you imagine this conversation between two people looking out over the water and seeing a hand reach up out of the water?
Can’t you see she is drowning?
She’s just doing that for attention.
Someone should help her.
If we acknowledge her, then she’ll never stop.
I think she is in danger.
She’s just feeling sorry for herself.
It’s too late now. She is gone.
Why didn’t she ask for help?
This conversation plays out in all of our lives at some time. For me it was my daughter was close to two years old,. She wasn’t talking. Literally no words. She had sounds, so she wasn’t mute. She just didn’t say mama or dada or anything. I had taken her to doctors and they determined that physically there was nothing wrong. She could hear fine. She understood what you were saying, she just couldn’t communicate back. So they said I should force her to talk. That she wasn’t talking because I gave her want she was trying to ask for. They said, “When she was indicating that she wanted something, don’t give it to her unless she says the word”. So we had a painful few months of following the doctors directions. Then I took her back and demanded to see some specialist. This issue was not that she didn’t want to say the words, the issue was that something wasn’t connecting correctly.
So we saw the specialist, and they couldn’t figure out anything that was wrong. So they told us to put her in daycare. They felt she wasn’t around enough children. Even though she had an older brother, cousins and friends her age from church – that wasn’t sufficient. So we put her in daycare, Another bad decision as it made her stand out. When they were sharing in circle time and she couldn’t verbalize her sounds into real words, she became even more withdrawn. So again, back to the doctors. Finally they authorized speech therapy., The area we lived in had a school she attended for four hours a day. They had a two to one ratio of speech therapist teachers who worked with her and the other children, who all had some sort of speech disability. Within 6 months she had a 100 word vocabulary and she was finally able to express herself. It took me one whole year to get her the help she needed.
I felt like I was having that conversation with those doctors, that I typed above I knew she had a problem and they were not listening or helping. They were just making things worse. Fortunately I kept after them until she got the help she needed. She had delayed speech, and it was an inherited condition. I discovered later that one of my grandfathers daughters from his first marriage had the same thing happen with one of her grandchildren. And my daughter had the same thing happen with a couple of her own children. It was not that she was doing it for attention. It was not that trying to help her get what she wanted but couldn’t tell us, was just encouraging bad behavior. She was asking for help.
Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.
Have you ever been the person asking for help? Did it feel like people were watching and talking, but no one could hear you through the water? This happened to me when I was 28 years old. I had been diagnosed with Glaucoma. They didn’t want to do surgery because I was so young. A lot of times when you are young and healthy, when they do laser surgery on your eyes, your eyes think that the surgery is a problem and “repair” the surgery back to what it thinks is the normal way for the eye to be. So we were trying out three different drugs. The first on didn’t work at all. The second one had a side effect of making me suicidal. I could tell it was making me depressed and giving me dark thoughts. I was struggling with it, but it was making me afraid to talk about it. I finally was able to tell the doctor what was happening and he put me on the third drug. Due to different side effects I ended up doing the surgery.
I was talking to my husband about the second drug and asking him if he couldn’t see what was happening. He said, that he could see it, but was so afraid of putting me over the edge I was balanced on that he did nothing. We talked about it for some time. I explained, that what that did was to make me feel like he didn’t care. That even if what he said or did was not the perfect thing, at least I would have known that he was trying, that he cared. Instead I felt abandoned and that he didn’t care about me. Like the woman in the story, I felt like I was reaching for help and he was just watching me drown.
We all have bad days. We all witness others having bad days. Sometimes those bad days turns into weeks and months and years. We are crying out for help. We feel abandoned. We all watch it happening to someone we know or love, and we don’t know what to do. So we do nothing, or we get bad advice from experts and do the wrong thing. What we need to do is go to divine source. The divine source speaks to us in our hearts. When we reach out to others from that space, even if what we do is not the perfect thing to do, they see that we are trying from a space of love and compassion. Not from a space of judgment, or making someone be wrong.
To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do, you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.
– Alan Watts
We need to realize when we are drowning and ask for help. We need seek deep within to find what it is that is currently trying to be exposed and released from our life. A wrong belief that is holding us hostage. A drug or alcohol addiction. A relationship that is killing us, but we won’t let go of. That we are trying to save someone, who is just taking us down with them. When we try to save broken people, we need to take care that we don’t cut ourselves on their broken pieces. So many patterns, addictions, issues of self sabotage. They need to be released so that we can again relax and float. Life sometimes takes us to the edge, but it is always within our control, it is our choice to be a victim, or we can decide that this life can and will be better and we are a thriver.
Life sometimes takes you into troubled waters not to drown you but to cleanse you.
So when we find ourselves in deep water. Relax and float. Reach out for help, but always remember it really comes down to being our own hero. No one else can fix us, and we can fix anyone else. It is always an inside job.
In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
– Deepak Chopra
Chaos is actually a good sign. It tells you that you are about to have a breakthrough. I love this photo – we literally have the elephant in the room. It is being ignored and creating chaos. Chairs and tables are being destroyed, dishes crashing to the floor, and she is sitting there like “what?” Chaos is one of the keys that tells us things are about to change. We have the ability to choose in this situation. We can continue to ignore the “elephant in the room” or we can acknowledge it and start to deal proactively with the changes happening in our life.
All great changes are preceded by chaos.
All of the great inventions have come from a place of chaos. When you think outside of the box, it is in a place of chaos. All of the possibilities are buzzing around your head, all trying desperately to get your attention. It is being willing to be told you are stupid and foolish to think that you can be an agent of change. A chaos agent. Someone who stirs things up. Look at the disruptors currently bringing change in our world. 3D printing is on the brink of being able to create organs that can be used to transplant and save lives. They are creating car parts, hearing aids, and implants.
Madness is somewhere between chaos and having a dream.
– R.M. Drake
Soon every piece of personal information, drivers license, credit cards, bank accounts, your id card for work will all be digital and take just your thumb print or a scan of a chip located within your body. Virtual reality will soon impact with endless possibilities beyond gaming. Our houses will soon be totally controlled with the “internet of everything”. More and more of everyday life will become fully automated, such as self driving cars. Think of every science fiction movie or book you have read and we are quickly approaching the implementation of that fantasy becoming our reality.
The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join in the dance.
– Alan W Watts
When life is crazy and the chaos is driving us mad – faith in the divine plan gives us an anchor. It keeps us steady in the raging storm, so that when the storm has passed, we can pick up the pieces of our life and carry on. It gives us a vision to hold on to that can keep us calm in the midst of the insanity. And if we are courageous, we can let go of the expectations of how our life should be and see instead how our life could be. When you let go of the expectations, you make space for something better.
Never mind your ideas of how things should look, your expectations of how things must be. Life will scramble all of that into an unrecognizable chaos. The difficulty, the joy, the privilege is in being undone and then creatively reshaping yourself into a form you never imagined could be so beautiful.
– Amy Larsen
When the chaos creates frustration, it is because we have become confused. A lack of clairity creates the frustration. It is a poisonous emotion, stopping us from achieving our dreams. We need to step out of this negative emotion, out of the darkness. Release the frustration and get back into curiosity about what is happening. Curiosity about what old belief we have outgrown that is expressing itself thorugh the frustration. And get curious about what new something is being born into our life.
Life has dark moments and it is out of our darkness that we often find our greatest beauties and strengths.
– Bryant McGill
Chaos is only a problem when we get stuck in it. If in every place we go, the elephant is in the room wrecking all of the furniture, then we need to seriously examine our life. That kind of chaos is not a predictor of change, but rather an avoidance of making changes. Chaos is a bridge to take us from where we currently are in our life, to where we are seeking to go. A bridge makes the connection from one side ( where we are ) to the other side ( where we want to be ). You use it to travel across the river or lake, or across the ravine. You don’t park on the bridge and live the rest of your life there, afraid to go forwards or backwards. It is our self-identifying with the chaos, as though that is who we are, that will keep us in the darkness. While life and chaos will give us those dark moments, it is not who we are.
Change is growth. It is living life. It is about recognizing and being conscious of what the journey is teaching us about ourselves. Becoming conscious, becoming self aware. It is recognizing the elephant is in the room. Is it being self destructive and needing to be addressed? Or is it just sitting there waiting to be called into action?
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