When Life Challenges You, Hold Your Head Up High And Ride That Wave To The Shore

Our feelings and emotions can at times be overwhelming. I remember when my mom passed away, that in the evenings I would get deluged with emotions of missing her, being mad at her for dying, hurting so much that I just crawled into a ball and cried until I couldn’t breathe.  There are times in your life, when your whole body is crying in such deep pain, that it takes everything you have just to take another breath.  It feels as though your soul is on fire.  It is hard to remember that feelings are just visitors, and we can let them visit, and then let them go back out the door they came in.

An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship, unless it gets inside the ship.  Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down, unless you allow it to get inside of you.

 – Goi Nasu

Like a person surfing the waves, we can learn to ride these overwhelming emotions. We may crash and fall off our board, but we can choose to get right back on and ride the next wave. To me riding the wave is allowing the emotion to flow right through us, just as the wave reaches the shore and dissipates into nothing.

Life is like riding a wave.  To keep your balance, you must keep moving.

 – Eric Carlson

Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.  I think the reason that grief or anger can get us stuck in these emotions, is because we don’t allow the emotions to flow through. They can get caught in a rip tide inside of us.  We fight releasing them until we are exhausted. Sometime we struggle and we battle ourselves, denying how we are really feeling.  Other time we  wallow in these emotions, holding them to our hearts and refusing to let them flow.  Either way they will keep pushing us to the shore and then dragging us back out to sea, until we are so exhausted, that the rough surf literally beats us into the sand.

Allowing the emotions to pass through helps us to heal from the hurt. We recover much faster, and we can begin choosing good memories to dwell on. We can progress into appreciation for the time that we had with what we have lost. The truth is that we haven’t really lost anything. People and things come into our lives, serve their purpose or reason for being there, and then move on to the next thing. The important thing is that we had them in our lives for the time they were with us.

When we have a bad memory come up, we can just ride the wave to the shore, and then consciously allow it to fade into foam and dissipate.  It doesn’t have to drag us back out again.  We can release the hold we have on it, and let the feeling fade away.  As the last bubble of the foam pops, then it is time to let it go. Then we can consciously decide that we want to raise our vibrations up into higher levels.  We can raise the vibration out from the sadness, grief, or anger. We can start attracting good feelings into our space. We always have a choice, even when we think that we don’t. 

When stress and bad days hit, we are designed to reach out for the help we need.  But our natural tendency is to withdraw instead.  We shut down, hole up, limit ourselves to our own little worlds.

 – Holley Gerth.

It is important when the bad days hit, to reach out to someone we love and let them help us. 

Allow yourself to really feel, your feelings.  It’s okay to bare your soul, breakdown or cry because through that breakdown comes your breakthrough.

–  Rashida Rowe. 

Letting those who love us help us, is practicing self care.  It is reflecting back to those who love us, how much we love and trust them to be with us in our hour of need.  And sometimes when those that we love say they are okay, we need to hold them tight and look them in the eyes and tell them that we know that they are not okay.  And that in itself is okay, because we are going to keep holding them tight until they can breathe on their own again.

Taking a few deep belly breaths, placing our hands on our heart, and consciously reaching for something that will help us raise our awareness into something positive. I always think of the laughing baby when the dad tears the paper video or cute kittens and puppies, or a favorite song like Pharrell Williams “Happy” song.  Music has the wonderful ability to speak to us, to express what is in our hearts, that we can’t express in words.  As the “Happy” songs says, “happiness is the truth”.

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To Catch Your Dreams, You Have To Be Brave Enough To Chase Them

Have you ever heard of the question  – If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would you want to have to a dinner party?  Eleanor Roosevelt is on my list.  She seems to have been a remarkable woman.  Her advice?

“Do one thing everyday that scares you”  – Eleanor Roosevelt

I don’t live up to this quote, but I do try to do things that scare me.  First I procrastinate on them a little, though.  Most of the things that scare me, are things that I have never tried to do before.  So every year part of my goals, are to do things that I don’t currently know how to do.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you got your first bike?  I remember being so excited to be able to ride a bike like all of the bigger kids did.  It was a symbol of growing older.  A lot like getting your drivers license or turning 21, a true milestone.  First though you had to have training wheels. It took a time or two to figure out that they were keeping you from falling, because you had to learn to trust them.  Then came the day that you had probably been whining about, the day they took the training wheels off.  You were ready to balance the bike and ride it all alone.  After a fall or two, you figured out how to balance the bike and from then on you were no longer a baby.

What I remember most, is that even though I was scared of falling and getting hurt, I wanted those training wheels off.  Being accepted into the big kids group was more important than letting the fear stop me.  Always remember that when you are scared, you are thinking about doing something that requires you to be brave.  Riding a bicycle without training wheels for a 5 year old is being very brave.

“If it’s both terrifying and amazing then you should definitely pursue it”  – Erada

What is something that you have done this past year that required you to be very brave?  What were the training wheels that you removed, the thing that you were depending on, that you needed to let go, so that you could grow?

When I took my drivers training class, it was part of high school.  The class started right after school, and the first time behind the wheel you had to drive off a side street bordering the high school.  All of your friends would gather around the stop sign, waiting for you to drive the car out of the lot and up to the stop sign on the side road.  Of course, there were several sudden jerking stops as you drove toward the stop sign and all of your friends would laugh.  It was like a hazing in a way, because it eventually happened to everyone you knew.  At some point we would all be the object of ridicule.  But at the same time, it was like – cool, I’m driving a car!

These are the two examples that I keep in my head when I am trying to break through and do something that scares me.  Both of those things scared me, but at the same time, it was cool, look at what I am doing!  It reminds me of the hit song from “Panic At The Disco”, “Hey look ma, I made it”.  It also helps to have mentors like Eleanor Roosevelt.  People that you admire, who you can look to for guidance.   Albert Einstein is another of my dinner party guests.  He said:

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new”  –  Albert Einstein

I think that sometimes you are scared to want something so badly that it hurts.  You are scared of not only failing, but of succeeding and then being disappointed.  Of succeeding only to lose it later.  So you tell yourself that you are afraid of failure, but in reality, you are afraid of success not being enough.  Of success not lasting.

“Move out of your comfort zone.  You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new” – Brian Tracy

I have really thought about this fear of failure/success.  I love the breakdown of the process in the above picture – that moving out of your comfort zone is actually a process of moving from fear, to learning and then to growth. (note:  the photo is from Adobe and I can’t fix the typo)

Once I move past fear the feeling I have shifts into anticipation.  Like fear, it also begins and ends in the stomach.  Like riding the roller coaster as it climbs up and up to the sky, and then hurtles you down to the earth, whipping you back and forth through the turns.  The wind blowing against you, your stomach lurching up your chest as you hold on tight.  Then all of sudden the ride is over and you are running back to the end of the line to do it again.  This kind of fear is telling you that being scared can be a thrill, because you are learning and extending your comfort zone at the same time.  That what you are about to experience by entering the growth zone is worth breaking through the hesitation and going full out.

“Life is inherently risky.  There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing”  – Denis Waitley

They say that at the end of a persons life, what they talk about is the things that they didn’t take the risk and try to do.  Being in love, is one of those risks.  Being afraid of being vulnerable, of being rejected, they hold back the words.  At the end of their life they regret not telling people how they really felt, not saying “I love you” enough to those that mattered to them.  When they had the opportunity, they shrunk back telling themselves, “they know how I feel”.  While that may be true, what any person wants and needs is to hear those words.

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” – Unknown

So whether it is learning to ride a bike, drive a car, ride a roller coaster or say “I love you” – don’t let fear hold you back.  Be brave.  Say the words, do the deeds.  Feel the fear and do it because it is scary.  Do the things that both excite you and scare you at the same time.  Live your life as fully expressed, as bravely, and as committed as you can.  Just maybe if you can do that, you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined.

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them”  –  Walt Disney

What Is The “Normal” That We Spend Most Of Our Life Trying To Be?

Brene Brown gives us a hint of what we are seeking when we say we just want to be “normal”.

“Because True Belonging only happens when we present our Authentic, Imperfect Selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of Self-Acceptance” – Brene Brown

Being “normal” to most of us, means that you fit in.  That you are accepted.  That you experience a sense of belonging to a group or tribe.  So, the first clue to how you achieve that sense of belonging or being normal, is that you accept yourself for who you really are, deep down inside. You don’t rely or depend on what other people are thinking about you.

What they think about you is none of your business.  It actually has nothing to do with you.  It has to do with how your actions or lack thereof are triggering them.  And whatever triggers them is all about their own shadows.

“Normal is for people without courage” – Unknown

So why is it so hard to have that feeling?  Because you are so busy rejecting who you really are.  An easy example is what most of us do when someone has a camera – you either try to stay out of the photo or try to position yourself so that you are hiding whatever part of your body you don’t want to be memorialized by a photo.  Then you find fault with how you look in the photo.

How many photos do you have of yourself that you actually love?  Why not?

“Normal is an illusion.  What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly” – Morticia Adams

You feel that you are the only one who feels the way that you do.  So, you push the true self down into the basement of your soul and lock the door.  Then you start building a persona to match what you think is normal.  Because this persona isn’t who you really are, you can’t really have that sense of true belonging.

Instead, you run around with this sense of “trying” to belong.  What is so funny, is that almost every person in this group that you are trying so hard to fit into, is doing the exact same thing.  In fact, there are probably friends of yours who if you all took down the personas and accepted who you really are, are in fact part of your tribe that you think doesn’t exist.

“I tried being normal once.  Worst two minutes of my life” – Unknown

When I was in grade school and Junior High School, we moved every six months or so.  Until I was in high school, I didn’t attend one school for the entire school year.  It was usually two different schools in two different towns.  This made it really hard to make friends.

What I remember most is trying to be who I thought someone would want me to be, just so that I could have a friend.  In High School I first made friends with a group of girls that were on the wild side, because the wild girls were more accepting of new people.

Now where I ran into problems was that I was an “A” student, and the wild girls were not.  So, after the first experience of being put down for “A” grades, I tried to downplay my grades.  Then I started letting them slide into “B’s” to be accepted.

But the truth was that I liked school, I liked learning, I liked trying to be the best in the class.  So, I changed my friends to some that didn’t care what my grades were.  They allowed me to be who I was.  Their acceptance gave me a tiny sense of belonging, of not sticking out too far above the crowd.

“If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be” – Maya Angelou

Why do you lock your true self into a chest, and bury it on the desert island?

• You are both terrified and amazed by the colors of your soul.
• You have this push-pull going on.
• You have a brilliant idea, then you mentally tear it apart.
• You have a dream you passionately want to go after, then you analyze it to death, with fears of failure and not being worthy.
• You have a door of opportunity open in front of you, and you feel an intense pull to go through it, but you listen to all of the naysayers and walk past it with dragging feet.

Self-Acceptance, means that you believe in yourself.  This is risk at its highest form, because what if you are not enough?  This is where the loving the imperfect self comes in.  No one is perfect, and so by this reality, you will fail sometimes.  And that has to be okay.

“I heard a voice that told me I’m essential.  How all my fears are limiting my potential.  Said it’s time to step into the light and use every bit of power I have inside” – Indea Erie

Alice Through the Looking Glass, in Wonderland and Underground, was always looking for adventures.  She didn’t have time for “normal”.  She was way beyond that!

Alice didn’t like following the rules of “normal” behavior.  It takes a lot of courage to go out on adventures.  Adventures bring out parts of you that you didn’t know were there.  It also shows you parts of you, that you may not like.  Adventures teach you to look at things differently.  Backwards, upside down, and sideways.  Adventures teach you about who you are.

“Who in the world am I?  Ah, that’s the puzzle that is only yours to solve.”

“I knew who I was this morning, but I have changed a few times since then” – Alice in Wonderland

The more that you take these adventures and learn about yourself, the curiousier it gets.  This is because like the looking glass adventure, everything is opposite of what you would think.  In taking the risk and going on the adventure, what you find is more freedom to be your imperfect self.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change” – Brene Brown

How does that work?  By being curious, and having self-acceptance that you are imperfect, you start to allow yourself the space to experiment.  You start trying new things.  You mix up the parts and create something new, different and wonderful.  The more you open to change, the easier it becomes to let go of certainty.

Self-acceptance means that you no longer become that mean, vindictive, cruel person in your mind to yourself. You are no longer at war with who you really are.  You are made up of strength and struggle; of giving and receiving; of being first to do something with no guarantee that it will be returned to you, or that you will be successful in the doing of it.

It is this strong sense of belonging, of self-acceptance, of self-love, that enables you to have the courage to live an imperfect life as your true self.  Don’t fear failure.  Take ownership of who you are and be proud of it.  Take chances, like they are lucky gold tickets, because they are.  No matter what, do not stop being the weird, crazy person that you are meant to be.

Transformation Is the Dance Of Life

What Would Your Life Look Like, If I Gave You The Key To Unlock Your Full Potential?

Have you ever said, “I would be happier if .., fill in the blank ____________ (my spouse was …,, my job was…, my weight was ? lbs. less?  etc…)”  I am going to use my weight as the example, but you can substitute anything in your life, that is currently not bringing you into a state of joy.  As you read through this, you can just adapt the process around your job, your spouse, your family, your finances, etc…

Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket  – Unknown

This includes the pocket of your self saboteur.  Have you ever counted calories?  Have you counted steps?  Weighed yourself every day to see if you released a single pound?   I know I have.  I have a Fitbit and I watch the numbers go up until I reach that 10,000 step mark.  I worry over what I am eating and snacking on.  What I recently discovered about this, is I am in fact disempowering myself.

Old ways won’t open new doors.  – unknown

A new way of saying Einstein’s definition of insanity.  I am “trying” over and over again to have better control, so that I can become healthier.  Old ways that didn’t work the first time.  It is sort of like banging my head against the door, hoping this time it will open for me.  I keep “trying” to get myself out of the obesity designation.  What I am in fact doing, is disempowering myself from being successful.  I am empowering my view of my weight, to have complete control of my eating and exercise habits, setting myself up for self sabotage.  I have put the keys to my happiness in the pocket of my self saboteur.

Find a heart that will love you at your worst and arms that will hold you at your weakest.  – Unknown

That heart and those arms need to be yours, not someone else’s.  When something isn’t working, then study, research, read and listen.  It never has failed me that someone will say something that triggers my mind to go down a rabbit hole and come up with something that my heart and soul have been trying to communicate with me.

Dear Destiny,  I am ready to listen now.  – unknown

When I walk every day, I listen to podcasts.  I have Tony Robbins, TED Talks, a NPR show called Scratch, EWomen’s Network, Success Magazine, and several others that I listen to.  I listen to whatever is next on the list.  This past week, I pieced something together from several different podcasts that became an “aha” moment. I needed to listen to my inner genius.  Those who listen to their inner genius often end up changing their world.  So I asked myself, “What is it still possible for me to do?”  Notice that I said do, not try.

I have been trying to discover through hits and misses what is contributing to the weight I have, and what I might do to be more successful in releasing the weight.  It isn’t as simple as diet and exercise.  What I received this week was a couple of keys.

Key #1 – Don’t try.  Trying doesn’t last long.  Trying is one of those words that sounds positive, but doesn’t have a high energy vibration to it.  Falling back to the famous Yoda quote – “Don’t try, Do or don’t do.”  Instead the key that fits into the transformation door, is to commit myself to “mastery” of releasing weight and becoming healthy.  Mastery is hard work.  You have to learn something completely.  To take it apart and put it back together again.  To understand the purpose and reason for every single part, and the actions it plays.  It takes time.  But when you become a master at something, it doesn’t just change you, it transforms you.

Mastery reflects understanding diet and nutrition, not generally, but as it applies to my individual DNA and my physical body.  It reflects understanding how the feelings I am feeling each day (my moods, and memories) enter into the equation.  It is about paying attention to my instincts or gut reactions to the pain and pleasure that is happening to me moment by moment.  And lastly it included my thinking or my intellect.

There are powers inside of you which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everything you ever dreamed or imagined you could become.    – Orison Swett Marsden

Key #2 – Realize that my mind plays this game of chaos.  I can tell that my weight is affecting my general health.  I am exhausted.  I have digestive issues among other things happening.

But my mind likes the chaos it understands, better than the chaos it doesn’t know.  It started from fear.  It said it was trying to protect me from unwanted attention.  It told me that I didn’t want to be like my mom, and hurt people that I loved.

So add in a few pounds, plus a few more.  Still getting attention, don’t worry, just add a few more pounds.  My own subconscious good intentions will kill me.  I needed to forgive myself, and let go of the need for protection.

Forgiveness is not something we do for other people.  It’s something we do for ourselves to move on.   – unknown

Key #3 – I am changing the interior landscape a little each day.  I really never practiced self care.  It was always care for everyone else first, and I got whatever was left over. 

So it is like going from the hard dry desert to a beautiful flower garden with a stream flowing through the middle.  I had to dig up the soil.  I had to put in some fertilizer to bring it up to optimal healthy soil that would support the growth of the flower garden. 

I then planted seeds.  I watered them.  I weeded out what doesn’t belong or bring me joy.  I brought in some nice chairs to sit in.  A small table to put a nice glass of lavender lemonade on.  I transformed the desert of “not taking care of myself”, into a place that empowers me to do self care.

Your success and happiness lies in you.  Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.    – Helen Keller

 Key #4 – Gratitude.  Every day I am finding things about my body, my health, the way I am taking better care of me – ways I can be grateful that I have this opportunity to bring back vibrant health to me.  Gratitude pays homage and honors the steps I am taking.

It says that while I am not where I want to be, I am making progress.

It says that I don’t have to beat myself up on the days I fall short of 10,000 steps, or have the strawberry shortcake for dessert.  It says that I will continue to be committed to bringing my body into a completely healthy state.  The “friend” needs to be “you”.  Self Love.

I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me, and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.   – Abraham Lincoln

If you find yourself spending a lot of time and money, and not making any progress, you are in fact, stuck in neutral.  It feels like you are in drive, because you are counting calories, you are weighing in, you are restricting your food intake, but you are in fact stuck in neutral. This is evident when day after day, no weight is released. Your subconscious mind has you stuck in the chaos you know.  You are blindfolded as to what is really happening.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach.  The world you desire can be won.  It exists  . . . it is real . . .  it is possible . . . it’s yours.    – Any Rand

When you are not reaching your goals, you need to stop.  Take a deep breath and look at what you are doing. First look to gratitude to where you are on the map.  Then look to the patterns of the familiar chaos – what is eating up your time, energy, money, contributing to your frustrations?  What story are you buying into that creates the “I am too tired” to walk tonight?”  What food cravings around caffeine, sugar, processed foods, fast foods are you having because you are bored or stressed out?  These stories are your self sabotaging patterns.  If you can start to recognize them, then you have the potential to transform them.

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential…, these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.    – Confucius

When you have mapped out where you are, then you are ready to put the car back into drive and put your foot on the gas.  You do this by getting deeper into personal mastery.  The neutral gear is calling your attention to some part of the chaos, that is not working for you any longer.  Something that needs to be down shifted, released and/or transformed.  Once you have gotten this new piece of knowledge into your head, drawn it down into your heart to become wisdom, then you can release your passion to fuel your motivation.  You can realize your expanded potential and unlock a new door in your life of transformation.

You have always possessed the keys of transformation.  The divine puts the doors of opportunity in front of you, over and over again.  It is up to you to put the key in the lock, and go through the door. When you do that you discover untold potential and mastery within yourself.  You have more natural potential than you could use in 100 lifetimes.  Don’t let this life go by, not even using a small fraction of it.

Questions provide the key to unlocking your unlimited potential.   – Tony Robbin

Leave Fear Behind You, Face Everything And Rejoice

Women who run with wolves have discovered something about themselves, that allows them to leave behind the fear that is expressed because of going outside the comfort zone.  See beauty in being able to walk alone or with the pack.  Because you are unafraid, you may be called names by those who will fear you.  Labels like defiant, incorrigible, impossible, wild and untamed by society.  Wear these labels with pride.

When you live with fear, you will always be “Finding-Excuses-And-Reasons” (F.E.A.R.)why you are not living the life you are yearning for. Why do you experience this type of fear? It comes from a lack of self love, self trust, and self care.

You don’t think that you have the courage; that you don’t deserve it; that you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  You have bought into being small.  Bought into not taking up a lot of space.  Bought into being unworthy.  It is not your true nature.  It is not who you are deep in your heart.  It is not who you are yearning to be.  Do not become an endangered species.  Do not muffle your soul for the sake of others.

For women who run with wolves, you have discovered S.E.L.F. which stands for Sacred-Empowered-Liberated-Self Care

She sees herself as a Sacred being

She sees herself as an Empowered being

She sees herself as a Liberated being

She sees herself as a Fearless being.

•  She runs with a vast community of souls, who hold and support her.
• She knows as a sacred being she is never, ever, truly alone. 
• She is honored as a wisdom keeper, an empowered being that has grounded herself into the earth. Her roots run deep into the earth and support the work she does in the world.
• She knows that she is a liberated woman who came to this earth to free those who have become shackled to the stories of not being good enough, pretty enough, or worthwhile.
• She is fearless because for her the word fear is a word of high integrity, because for her it means Face-Everything-And-Rejoice (a transformed definition of fear).

Her purpose is to remind others of their own sacred agreements they came here to fulfill. Of the love they have for each other. To free them from their self made chains and fulfill their own purpose in being here.

She knows that she can be grateful for each fear that is faced down and transformed into something wonderful. She is rejoicing because she is working with others out in the world to build a bridge to shift our world from the challenges we see happening today, into a place of unity, love and trust.

If you can change your definition of the word fear, you can change your world.

To fearless women, I am honored to be your sister.

Below is a copy of my poem which expresses these thoughts.

The wolf howls at the moon, not out of loneliness,
As he knows he is one with the universe.
He howls out of gratitude to be a member of the pack.

He remembers those he has traveled with in past lives, 
He sees those he is traveling with again.
He rejoices in his vast community of souls, knowing that he is truly never alone.

The great spirit has honored the wolf with a voice that sings out in the darkness.
He honors the great spirit by singing to us,
“Do not be afraid, for you are not alone”
“I am here, and I remember you even if you have forgotten”.

Like the wolf I sing out to you, through my words on a page I say,
“I remember you, for we have traveled together before.”
I honor you that you have come again to do the great work before us.

Call out together with me as we gather our relatives that have forgotten their purpose.
Call to their minds our sacred agreement to meet at this time and place.
Whisper to them of the great love we have for each other and their hearts will remember.

Gather around as we build the bridge of knowledge and understanding.
This bridge will unite all peoples together in love
This bridge is shifting our world into a new age of unity, love and trust.

We are one,
One love, I love us
One trust, I trust us,
I honor our sacred agreements, I am here.

Face the fears that are keeping you locked out of your destiny. Unlock your cages and use those divine gifts with purpose to not only shift and change your world, but the entire world. Come and renew yourself. Find your voice and howl at the moon!

Don’t Ever Let Anyone Dull Your Sparkle

 She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten. Do you believe this about yourself and your life? Or do you think it only about someone else.  Someone who is more beautiful, more intelligent, richer than you? Too many of us don’t even feel worthy to have the glitter, yet alone leave a trail of it for others to follow.

I just wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about not being someone else’s definition of enough.  – Sophia Bush

So many of us come out of childhood thinking that we are not enough. Not enough to have our parents love us the way they should have. Not smart enough. Not talented enough (insert – don’t sing, don’t dance, don’t draw). Not pretty enough. The list is endless about how we are not enough, to be loved, accepted, to have our dreams become a reality.

Always know you are more than enough.  You are precious, unique, and worth being adored, cherished and treasured! – Kandee Johnson

Try to say nothing negative about yourself for one hour, for one day, for one week, for one month.  The longer you can maintain this test, the more amazing your life will become.   It has been said that the biggest disease affecting humanity is “I am not enough”.

It is the driver of every act of self sabotage. When your mind thinks “I am not enough”, you will subconsciously self sabotage yourself out of anything that doesn’t affirm that lie.

Marissa Peer is a bestseller author, celebrity hypnotist and speaker. A lot of her focus is on helping people overcome this limiting belief to help them stop sabotaging their lives.

One of the things that she recommends is putting on your phone a timed text message stating “I am enough” and having it text you each morning and evening.

Write on the mirrors in your home, especially in your bathroom and carry around a piece of paper to remind you

“YOU ARE ENOUGH

– you are so enough

it is UNBELIEVABLE how enough you are.”

So think about your language and how often do you say things like –

• I am so stupid
• I always forget important things
• I am ___________ – whatever derogatory label you say about yourself (fat, lazy, ugly, etc…)

What is that something about yourself?  That quality you think is missing?  That place where you don’t think you are enough?

• Aim for balance.
• Make up your own rules.
• Create reasons on how instead you love that particular aspect of yourself.
• Follow your own path.  The rules of beauty and intelligence are all made up anyway.
• Start your own fashion and don’t let anyone tell you “who” you are.
• Love and appreciate yourself first, and then spread that glitter upon everyone you meet.

When you get praise, how often do you reject praise, and you add in a piece of criticism? “That is a beautiful outfit you have on today”, and you say – “this old thing, it makes me look fat”. Even scarier, do your sons and daughters say these things about themselves? When they are 1, 2 or 3 years old we celebrated that they took their first step, their first word, the first time they went potty in the potty chair. But there comes a time when they start school and they start being compared to others. Now they are experiencing the “not enough” and they start believing it.

The fear of not getting the reward becomes the fear of rejection.  The fear of not being good enough. . . is what makes us try to change, what makes us create an image.  – Miguel Angel Ruiz

The book, “The Four Agreements” by Miguel Angel Ruiz is a wonderful book that teaches you about the masks that you began wearing when you were children.  You will wear these masks all of your life, if you don’t learn how to remove them.  You need to be who you truly are, without the fear of rejection and not being enough.  Turn it around for yourself, for your children. Learn to accept praise without feeling unworthy. Hear the words you say about yourself, and change them when they are downgrading or demeaning. I always wanted my mother to say I did a good job – I made it a point to say to my children that they did a good job.

Lie to your brain, cheat your fear, and steal back your life of “I am more than enough” feeling that you had as a very young child.

• I am enough;
• You are enough;
• We’ve always been enough.
• Now grab the glitter and start leaving a trail, spreading it with every step you take.

Listen To The Heart

What’s life without a little risk?

 – J.K. Rowling

Life is about taking risks.  Every choice is in reality a risk.  A risk of achieving something great and wonderful; a risk of failure; a risk of not doing or doing the right thing.  The great secret of the phrase, “taking a risk”, is that no matter what happens, we get something wonderful.  If we take a risk and it turns out just like we wanted, we are happy.  If we take a risk, and it doesn’t turn out well, we still have something wonderful from the experience, we have knowledge, experience, and the combination of those two things is wisdom.  We can then look at what we tried to do, remove a piece, tinker with it, add something new and try again.  The only way to truly fail, is to do nothing, to risk nothing.

And then there is the most dangerous risk of all – the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.

 – Randy Komisar

Being wise beyond our fears, means recognizing that the true directions of the heart, require no words. There is simply a knowing inside. It just feels better, when we go in the direction of the heart. When you make the decision based on the hearts guidance, you feel the weight of the decision slide off your shoulders. There is no second guessing.

To live your greatest life, you must first become a leader within yourself.  Take charge of your life.  Begin attracting and manifesting all that you desire in life.

  – Sonia Ricotti

When you say the words out loud, that only your soul has dared to whisper to the heart, that is when miracles happen. The declaration, both verbal and written gives notice to the divine that you are listening. Listen to your dreams. That is when you open to the unexpected, and miracles happen.  When your mind and heart is too filled with the worlds noise, your dreams may be the only way that your souls whisper can be heard by the heart.

Let your heart be your guide on all things, but you have to listen closely because it speaks so softly.

 – John St. Augustine

Each whisper of the soul to your heart speaks of the next leg of your journey. There are times on your journey when experience and reason tell you not to follow that path. Your mind sees the risks and wants to play it safe. But you have to give it a try.  I’ve always loved the play on words – when you find yourself “now here” instead of “no where” is that moment of just being.  That moment of space of being fully conscious, because you have to be fully conscious to hear the whispers of your heart.

Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.

  – Unknown

When you don’t listen to the whispers of the soul to your heart, sooner or later, that whisper turns into a scream. When the whisper has turned to screaming in desperation, it is usually a sign that your life is about to shift into some sort of test. This comes about because instead of listening to your own heart, you are playing it safe.  Playing it safe, is being a diamond in the ruff.  A raw diamond looks a lot like common quartz, it is cloudy looking..  But cut it perfectly and shine it up, and everyone knows it is a diamond. We all have these exceptional qualities and potential.  But we are afraid to stand out from the crowd, and so we hide ourselves, even from ourselves.  Everybody wants to be a diamond, but very few are willing to get cut.

Take risks in your life.  If you win, you can lead.  If you lose, you can guide.

 – Swami Vivekananda

It is so easy to become focused on others instead of ourselves. We get pushed and pulled in all directions by our work, our friends and our families. When those that we are surrounded by see us listening to our heart, they get scared. Changes that you make in your life, will impact theirs. They are afraid of many things, but primarily that you may out grown them. That you will leave them behind.

The only difference between fear and excitement is your attitude about it.

  – Unknown

Don’t let their fears break your soul. They may try to expose your shadows, your imperfections, the things that lurk inside of you with feelings of shame or guilt.  They are just trying to stop you from listening to the heart. God has put into our hearts, an intuitive guidance system to guide us to what we need, the next step on our path. Follow that guidance. When you do, you will know it because your heart will be at peace. Even the most painful and difficult decisions are correct, if the heart is at peace with it.

Take charge of your choices.  Choose to look up, when life presses you down.  Choose to smile, when life frowns at you.  Choose victory, over defeat.

  – Unknown

Be wise beyond your fears ,and keep heading towards your glorious destiny.  If the dream keeps reappearing in your thoughts, go for it.  That is destiny calling you and it is always worth the price of admission.

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Wake Up and Live!

Action without vision is only passing time.  Vision without action is merely daydreaming.  But vision with action can change the world –  Nelson Mandela

You can drive down the freeway, not paying attention to where you are going.  You will go places, but in reality, you are just passing time.  Vision without action is daydreaming.  You can write down how you want to go to Scotland.  But if you don’t save any money, it is just a daydream.  But when you put the vision and action together, miracles can happen.

You can put a budget in place and save money. You can check out websites and find a really good deal on airplane tickets, or a travel package.  You can put in your request for vacation time at work.  You can research and plan and pay for the perfect trip to Scotland, and it happens because you put the dream into action.

Don’t tell people your dreams.  Show them – Unknown

I love science fiction books.  The writers dream up things that don’t yet exist or that people of their day didn’t yet know about.  In Gulliver’s Travels, Jonathon Swift wrote that Mars had two moons – it would be nearly a century later that they discovered he was right.  Jules Verne had rockets launching into space from Florida.  Kipling had mail being flown all over the world, before there were even airplanes.  Such things as television, solar power, video phones, movies with sound, space flight – all things talked about in science fiction before they were invented.

All of this came from someone’s dream, or vision being brought into reality.  I know that someday in the future, we will beam people from place to place.  Science will catch up to those dreams too.

But what about your everyday life?  Can your dreams create the future for you personally?  I have always loved this Steve Jobs quote:

It is really up to you to get still enough that you can hear the voice of your soul, your intuition.  Not listening to who the rest of the world wants you to be.  But getting still enough that you can hear the whispers that you have ignored for years.

The distance between dreams and reality is called action – Unknown

To listen to that still, soft voice.  You can’t be the anchor for everyone else in your life.  If you succeed in drowning out the voice of your soul, you drown your happiness.  Life is a gift.  Your soul knows the key to happiness.  It wants you to be crazy and live out those dreams that you buried deep within.  It wants you to wake up and be awesome.  The ruts in the road only show up, when you are not living your dreams.  The negative emotions drain your energy, and your life.  Wake up and dig up those dreams.  Don’t let them die in the dirt.  Put your vision into reality.

Your soul will open doors, but you have to be looking for them and walk through them.  Your soul will give you signs, but you have to read them and then do what they say, by following through with action.  If you are listening to the radio and not paying attention, then you will pass the signs by.  Just like on the freeway, there will be more than one sign telling you to stop for gas.  You can’t blame the universe when you don’t pay attention to the voice of your soul and run out of gas.

 Every morning you have two choices; continue to sleep with your dreams, or wake up and chase them – Unknown 

Get curious.  Dream Big.  Be Unstoppable.  There are those who try to make the doors to your dreams slam shut, they try to put things in the way so that they can’t be opened.  You have to see what is, and what else is possible.  That is where the magic happens, that is what makes the miracle possible.  That is the place where the newer, bigger dreams live.  That is the place of giants, where the dreams are deeper than the bottom of the ocean and larger than the boundaries of the universe.   So, Wake Up and Live!

What if,…..?

“Nothing is a coincidence.  Everything you’re experiencing is meant to happen exactly how it’s happening.  Embrace the lessons.  Be grateful” – www.livelifehappy.com

• What if,…. all the answers are deep within my soul, calling to me – but I am not listening?
• What if,… there are no mistakes, and every experience that you have is to your benefit?
• What would happen to the stories that you tell yourself and others about your life, if you reframed them to your benefit?
• What would happen if you had never been a victim, but was instead an adventurer who was experiencing all that life has to offer?
• How would word a reframe, shift and change your life?
• What if,… it was all “good”?

“Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant”  –  Horace Mann

The first thing I thought, was well some pretty bad things have happened – how can I just reframe it, to “it’s all good”?  I can do it if I can construct a framework that reflects a pattern that strings each thing together, like a string of pearls.  Each experience can be examined like an individual pearl.  Remember how a pearl is created?  It is an object that irritates the mussels, so that they begin putting a covering over the irritation, which becomes a pearl.  Mussels do this as part of their defense mechanism.  So what kind of covering can you put over every “bad” experience that turns it into a pearl?  How freeing is it to think, that you have the ability to cover over any bad experience and make it into something priceless?

“Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live” –  Robert Kennedy

Sometimes you can become so enamored with the tragedy, that you drag it around with you everywhere you go.  You stand up and testify to how life has done you wrong, and just look at what has happened to you.  You proudly present your wounds as though they are medals of honor.  What if instead…, tragedy was a tool of destiny to liberate you from the falsehood of fate, which lets fear determine your choices.

What if, … you have a divine blueprint written down in your soul, and now is the time to wake up and start creating the life you are meant to be living?

“There is a force within which gives you life, seek that.  In your body lies a priceless gem, seek that.  O wandering soul, if you were to find the greatest treasure, don’t look outside.  Look inside, and seek that”  –  Rumi

What if every experience has a purpose and they are all part of the plan?  Can you see a way that every pearl that you have on your long rope of pearls, is required and necessary to who you are becoming?

Most people don’t show up in their own lives.  We are taught at a young age not to express opinions different than the norm.  We are taught that to stick out and be different will just cause us pain and difficulties.  So like the turtle, we withdraw into our shell of protection and don’t venture out.  What if, … we stopped.  What if,… we took off that shell or mask, and stood up as who we truly are?

“A strong woman may remain silent when people talk behind her back.  But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t notice.  It simply means she chooses not to waste her energy on foolishness.  She has more important things to do” – Unknown

What if,… the reason the world seems to be so crazy right now, is that we are not showing up as who we truly are?

So, how do you figure that out?  Who are you really deep down inside?

“In order to experience the truth of things, you must have a clear mind, be brutally honest with yourself, and make innocence and vulnerability continually accessible, because your perception is always changing and there will always be more to learn and understand and experience” –  Amy Larson

One of the most important discoveries I made on my journey with LemonadeMakers is that the vision I saw initially grows and expands as I do.

I think that if you could see what it is really possible for you to become, you would not believe it.  You would not even set out on the journey, because it would seem too impossible for you to become that person.

That is why you are given small visions, that keep growing and expanding.  Each time you catch up to the vision, it steps out of range, so that you have to work and grow and expand yourself again and again.

Imagine that it is possible to discover who you really are capable of becoming and being?  What your purpose is?

To rekindle your passion into a bright steady flame that lights your way.  To understand what transforming your life really means?  To let go of all of the thoughts, judgments and stories that no longer serve you.

As you listen and try to connect to who you are, you get lost.  You hear the criticisms, judgments loud and clear, but you miss the compliments in your inner dialogs

• Would you be interested in discovering what you are truly capable of?
• Would you take the path less traveled?
• Would you have enough courage to undertake a journey that you know would be filled with mistakes, disappointments, as well as being a mind blowing adventure?
• Would you be willing to admit that you are in fact a divine creation; an amazing world leader – that just hasn’t fully shown up yet?
• Would you be willing to take that first step in discovering just how much you are truly capable of being and doing?

Are you interested in talking about your challenges, to encourage  others, to find/provide inspiration to continue on your individual journey? When you share the lessons of your journey, resilience is grown for everyone.

Chances are that what you’re struggling with, others are too. What life questions you have been asking yourself, others are asking themselves too. Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your you’re interested in forming a weekly or biweekly zoom call, message me on LemonadeMakers.

I Choose to be HAPPY!

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Life’s Storms

Revised 5/13/2019

I wrote this poem on a Sunday (see it at the bottom). It had been banging around in my head for a while wanting to be released. So, I took some quiet time while everyone was asleep and let it out. The entire poem is printed at the end of the post.

There is no growth without change. You’ve got to let go of some old stuff. And that can hurt. Often when I’m in the most pain, I realize it’s coming from my trying to control everything. Or resisting the changes that come with the progress. But you see that light . . ., that beautiful next level . . ., and that’s what you have to focus on – Ali Brown

I found the quote by Ali after I wrote the poem and was struck by how much of what I am trying to express in the poem is in her quote.

You have to release what no longer serves you. That could be the story that you have been telling yourself that holds you in chains of fear about success and failure. It could be the story that you tell yourself that you are not capable of being more. The stories you could be telling yourself go on and on.  They are varied and unending, depending on what your life has been about so far.

This control is when you stand up on the ship of your own destiny and release the anchor holding you to your stories. You drop the weight that holds you in place. You open to the winds of change.  You drop all of the baggage of blaming the world for where you are at this moment in time.  You decide to take your control back – control of how you think, how you react.

You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying.  What you can do is calm yourself.  The storm will pass – Thimber Hawkeye

It takes a lot of courage to stand up to the storm of fears and doubts. To realize that as you set sail on your ship, that there will be those who you leave behind, because they are still chained to their own stories. 

When I thought deeply about this I thought of Pompeii.  The volcano was going to erupt.  It had been giving signs of the coming destruction for months.  The people who were awake and listening, left the island behind.  But so many of the people didn’t believe what they were seeing on a day-to-day basis.  And they left fleeing to safety too late. 

I am sure that they fully believed the lies they were telling themselves, the false stories about how safety lay in staying – not in fleeing with nothing to their names, to untold dangers.  No, for them staying was the only smart thing to do.

You, however, face your fears of not knowing how you will steer the ship, or even where the next safe harbor will be.   You have the courage to face the fears of the unknown, to face the lies that you told yourself and make the right decision – to face and live through the changes that are coming.

There comes a time when you just have to listen to the music of your soul and set sail to the unknown. And so the journey begins. 

Life’s Storms

Storms without a name whip the seas into a fury, winds screaming through torrents of rain.
Waves crashing against the shore, bring in lost and forgotten debris.
Stand tall on the deck of your ship, as the birds scatter beneath the howling winds,
Let it blow away what no longer serves you. 

You feel the backlash of empty words with no truth, the shadows are winning.
No sunlight, every battle lost, and shadow is winning. No rescue. 
The lack of love, the hunger for life is insatiable, an open mouth that wails to be fed.
You can’t undo what has been done, it doesn’t serve you. 

Thunder rolls and lightning flashes exposing what still needs to be released.
Let it go out the door, don’t run after it as if falls off the deck and into the sea.
Feel the weight of the past, as the sounds of the anchor being lifted vibrate through your body,
The anchor being lifted from the bottom of the sea, the sound of your journey echoing onward.

Change, the anchor of our soul, it both drops into the sea, and is pulled back up into the ship,
Change moves us ever forward on the journey, unearthing the destination clue by clue, star by star.
Change reveals the next adventure, the next treasure that we are seeking,
Change reveals the next harbor in which to rest our soul

Bright morning stars, as day breaks open the dawn releasing the light, as it climbs the clear sky,
Light breezes blow as it fills the sails, with the dust blown clear, we see what has been done.
Every color sparkles as it plays upon the sea, as we awaken, transformed once more,
We hear the music of our soul, whispering as the journey begins again, echoing ever onward.