Tag Archives forHappiness

Say Yes, Choose To Make A Difference, The Butterfly Effect

Every single thing you do matters.You have been created as one of a kind.You have been created to make a difference.You have within

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.

  – R. Buckminster Fuller

I think that most of us have heard the concept of the butterfly effect.  That the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in one part of the world, can cause a typhoon in another part of the world.  The concept of how making a single change in your life, effects the future of people all over the world.  Every time we make a change in our lives, it shifts who we are.  We in effect destroy the old personality, in creating a new personality.  The caterpillar creates a change by forming the chrysalis around its body.  Then the old body is completely destroyed.  A completely new body is created.  This kind of change is not temporary.  There is no going back to who you were.  Even small changes create revolutionary impacts in a persons life.  Science recognizes this as “The Law of Sensitive Dependence Upon Initial Conditions”, I like “The Butterfly Effect” much better.  LOL.

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful.

 – unknown

I had this experience of seeing how a very simple comment, completely changed my own life.  I was at a seminar and the speaker had asked a question of the audience.  I had raised my hand.  He looked at me.  His face had that expression you get when you think you know someone, but you aren’t sure who they are.  He asked me if I had attended any of his other events, and I said yes.  This was actually my third weekend course with his group. 

One day, whether you are 14, 28 or 65, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die.

  – Beau Taplin

The next words out of his mouth shifted my whole life into a new space of awareness.  He dramatically raised his arm and made the motion of removing a cape.  He said “You are one of those people.  I am removing your cloak of invisibility.”  With those couple of sentences, I was forever changed.  I could feel a heavy weight had been lifted off of me.  It was like a darkness was removed.  I felt like I was standing in the spot light.  I felt every person in the room see me for the first time. 

Each small act of kindness, reverberates across great distances and spans of time – affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo.

  – Dean Koontz

I had been one of those people who could disappear into a crowd.  Now I can’t do it.  It is no longer natural.  It now feels uncomfortable.  I thank Jesse Koran for listening to that intuitive voice inside of himself, and saying what I needed to hear.  It was definitely time for me to transform.  My purpose in this world was calling to me.  This was just the first of many transformations my life purpose would require of me.

A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth.  The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water.  Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts.  And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them is far reaching.

  – Swani Sivananda

What Jesse said was like a tiny grain of sand, a drop of water in the ocean, but that single action led to the creating of LemonadeMakers.  It lead to creating this blog.  It lead to my first book being written, and this summer it will be published.  It has led to a personal freedom in my life, because I finally said yes to me. I finally acknowledged that maybe I did have a gift with writing.  Now I wondered if maybe you would want to hear what I have learned through all of the lessons in my life.  That maybe, just maybe, you would be encouraged to make a shift and change in your own life.  I woke up, and I discovered that part of my own purpose in life, would be to help others wake up.

My writing had been calling out to me since I was a child.  But I was afraid to listen.  Now slowly that wall I had built between my life purpose and the life I was living, began to crumble.  With each new curious thought, I was able to remove some of that wall.  Curiosity is a huge wall demolisher.  Because it circumvents fears from stopping you.  It leads you to joyously take a risk and see what happens.  It is a prime movement of the transformation process.

By your hand millions – BILLIONS – of lives will be altered, caught up in a chain of events begun by you this day.

  – Andy Andrews

The reason why the butterfly effect is so interesting, is that I shift and transform a tiny grain of sand.  You in turn see something as small as a single sentence in this post, that causes you to shift and change one tiny grain of sand.  Your transformation, in turn inspires another to shift and change one tiny grain of sand.  Soon we have a whole mountain towering 5,000 feet in the air.  And it was built, one tiny grain of sand at a time.  One personal transformation of a small thing in your life, in the next persons life, and so on.  Until 5,000,000,000 grains of sand build a mountain.

Each of us is like that butterfly, The Butterfly Effect.  And each tiny move toward a more positive mindset can send ripples of positivity through out organizations, our families, and our communities.

  – Shawn Achor

At some point in our life, we start looking for our life purpose.  In looking at all of the butterfly’s around her in this photo, she finds the one that is perfect for her.  She finds her purpose in life.  While her yellow butterfly looks like many others, it is unique in its coloring.  It fits her perfectly.  She recognizes it as being hers and hers alone.  The question then becomes, what does she do with it?  Because taking up this butterfly will forever change her world.  She will grow and transform into something different and new.  She has the ability to change the world with her decision.  And the interesting thing is, that she will in fact change the world either by taking that butterfly, that purpose up or leaving it behind. 

Don’t quit before the miracle happens.

 – unknown

Every action and every non-action matters.  Every choice you make or don’t make matters.  Will you fully live your life, or just continue to exist?  Your time as a caterpillar has ended.  Will you take up your life purpose, your wings?  If you have said yes in the past, is it time to trade in the smaller wings for a large pair?  To expand your comfort zone?  To acknowledge and accept your bigger purpose in this world?

Before you become too entranced with gorgeous gadgets and mesmerizing video displays, let me remind you that information is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, and wisdom is not foresight.  Each grows out of the other, and we need them all.

  – Arthur C. Clarke

You might find something within this post that strikes you in a new way.  Nothing has been said here, that hasn’t been said elsewhere.  But as we grow into our life purpose, we see things differently because we are different.  So sometimes a sentence brings a new insight that we didn’t get before.  This information may or may not provide some new knowledge or understanding.  Knowledge applied becomes wisdom, so maybe something in this post served as a reminder to make a transformation.  It becomes wisdom when it transforms us in some small way.  That wisdom then provides foresight to the path that we are now walking down.  It provides a small grain of sand, to put onto our mountain top of transformation that we are building.  It tells us whether to take the right hand or the left hand of the path up ahead.

The very beating of your heart matters.  Every choice you make or choose not to make matters.  Your actions impact the world.  Choose them wisely.  Expand your comfort zone.  Seek out every opportunity to say yes to your life purpose.  Your actions will shape how your future unfolds.  Your story has been so far only one of many possibilities.  New choices, new actions, expansion, transformation – all sit in front of you at this moment.  Say yes to happiness, when your life purpose lands on your hand say yes to whatever will lead to expansion and growth.

Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.

  – Charles Dickens

[lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1][lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1 use_content=1] Content to use [/lp-logic]

Your Soul Is Your Greatest Teacher

 

You have to grow from the inside out.  None can teach you; none can make you spiritual.  There is no other teacher but your own soul”  – Swami Vivekananda

Your soul comes with your purpose already planted within it.  Your gifts are inside, waiting to be discovered.  The divine will is waiting to be expressed through your life.

Unfortunately, you forget what you already knew as a small child.  You get lost.  This is where the divine teachings can assist you.

The universal laws point you in the right direction.  They lead you to re-discover what you have forgotten.

One of the Laws of the Universe.  But what does it really mean when you look at it through the lens of your life?

I love the vibrant health of this tree in our featured quote. It is not only fully supporting itself, it is also providing for the area around it. Everything is vibrant, growing and healthy.

You have the light of the truth being reflected in the lamps to light the darkness down in the root system.  They shine at night to show the way as you go seeking the truth among your deep roots. You have the butterfly of transformation.

You have the fruit of both the foliage around it and the tree itself. This fruit attracts you as you go seeking food for your soul. It is so beautiful, and it invites you to come and rest.

I was listening to a CD by Guy Finley and he talked about the importance of balance in how we show up in the world, comparing it to a tree. Picture the tree having a root system as you see above. This root system is as deep underground, as the trunk and branches of the tree that extend high above the ground. It is about balance of the structure of the tree. The balance of the trees roots below support the outward growth above.

He stated that if a tree that didn’t have strong deep roots (roots deep within), it would be in danger of toppling over. This was because the growth above ground wasn’t being fully supported. In turn, if all you did was work on the root system, then you would have stunted growth above, no fruits. There has to be a balance of inner and outer work, all happening at the same time.

We see this in the Ying/Yang symbols.  In giving, you are going up the outward growth of the tree and in receiving you are going down into the root system.  In breathing in, you are going to the root system, and in breathing out you are going up the growth of the tree.

“The constant in/out, give/receive plays out in so many systems in our lives”

I thought about this in my own life, and watching the lives of others that I see out in the world. We have all seen a number of people who achieved something great in their lives, who later implode through drugs, drinking or sexual escapades. Think of the Hollywood stars that have overdosed, the politicians and scandals that they have had. Even religious leaders have their fair share when they have built an empire that came crashing down on them.

These are all examples of a root system that couldn’t support the upward growth.

So what is the root system in our analogy?

It is the inner work that you  do on yourself. The roots remind you of where you have been, and who you are today. It takes work to get to know your shadows. To uncovering what I call the popsicle stories. The stories you created as a child, to explain something that you couldn’t understand at the time. It is the judgments, traumas and dramas you grew up with. It takes deep inner work to discover what they are, and how they play out in the patterns of your life.  You must go back and claim your past.  It is what helps you to understand your present.

“It is in the connecting the past to the present, that sets up what you can completely shift and change for a better future”

It is through the developing of your relationship with the divine, that you are able to align your souls purpose in being here now. It is about asking the right questions to yourself that you discover “your way home” to your true self and your purpose in being here.

It is exploring and questioning every truth you have acquired throughout your life.  Some of those earliest truths contradict to some of your latest truths.  Some of those older “truths” or stories need to be released.  They no longer serve or support your inward and outward growth.

You need to discover that, as in the Wizard of Oz, you already have what you are looking for outside of you.  It lives deep inside of you in the root system. You already know “the way to home”.

Home is the place of balance in this analogy. The bedrock of the foundation cornerstone. The place where the outward growth of “who you are in this world” is equal to, and growing in proportion to the inner growth of the root system of your tree.  It is the place of awakening.

You have filters in your mind, which serve as a protection.  These filters both serve you and sometimes hurt you.  This is because you miss seeing things that have always been there.

Have you ever driven down a road that you use all the time and see a store front for the first time?  Earlier this year a large commercial building was totally removed so they could build a new structure.  I drive by it 4 times a day, going back and forth to my office from home (I go home for lunch).  I didn’t notice the building was being torn down until they had completely removed all trace of it.

This is because my filter removed it from my field of vision.  This has happened to you too.  The more conscious and awake you become the more you can learn to remove the filters so that you can see those open doors of opportunity.

Several years ago, after the murder of my nephew and the collapse of my sisters nonprofit that she had created afterwards, I discovered my souls purpose with LemonadeMakers.

LemonadeMakers after several years of inner growth preparation it is starting to grow above the ground. The trunk and branches have been growing, and we are about to have a whole lot of pieces of what I have been working on finally come together.

Supporting LemonadeMakers has changed me in ways that I can’t even believe myself. I have grown and changed so much personally. I have seen just how important it is to invest in yourself, and have a personal coach. The time, effort, and money spent means that I have taken the zip line through the jungle, instead of traveling on foot and breaking the trail.

Without coaching I know that I would have probably given up. The hero’s journey with this business has suffered setbacks with our website when I spent a lot of money and the service provider went out of business.  Then with the financial freefall of 2007-2012 recovery when I suffered a large loss of income.  With the support of good friends, the support of great coaches, and my own blood, sweat and tears, whatever roadblock that appears, I manage to keep going and keep growing.

From the place of my own experience in transformational growth, I encourage you to seek out personal coaching in some way. It is hard to see what is happening deep within the root system below you, or high up at the tips of your branches. A good coach, friend or mentor is a mirror reflecting back to you what you can’t see. We all need that friend that removes the toilet paper trailing behind you when you walk out of the bathroom, or smooths out the wild hair in the back of your head.

Just remember that every second is a fresh start to begin nurturing the roots and the branches of your tree. Every day is what you chose to make of it, how you are living your dream out in the world. When you have unrestricted flow between the roots and branches of your tree, you will see the greatest harmony flow into your life.  You will think of something, and make the connection, and produce the result almost without effort.

Ask

Believe

Receive

Contact LemonadeMakers if you want to see if having a personal coach is your next step.

Connection Comes From The Unfolding Of The Deepest Truth Of Who We Are

 Native American

There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.  There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.  You feel it, don’t you?

 – Rumi

Mind, body, heart, soul, the physical body, the spiritual body – bringing them into harmony is like being the orchestra conductor for a symphony.  You have all these different instruments that you bring together to create this fine blend of harmonious sound, and not just a cacophony of sounds.  To weave the notes together to make a beautiful piece of music.  The rising out as a soloist and then the weaving back down into the harmony.   There is a space in this vast room for improvisation like in jazz, where they create bridges that lead in new directions as well as bring the music back to the beginning.

Everyone’s life is an evolution of emotions, spirit and beliefs.  The storyline changes, plots thicken, main characters mature and new spiritual journeys begin.  This is true of inspirational authors.  Their books represent only stages of their life.  New triumphs of the soul have yet to be written.

 – Shannon L. Alder

Instrument’s in effect disturb the air around them evolving into sounds, music.  The notes played arise out of the no-thing-ness of creation to blend into other vibrations thereby creating sounds that can fill you with peace, ecstatic joy, with a feeling of living outside of your own world.  You can reach any emotion with music, making people smile, laugh or bringing them down into intense sorrow.  Have you ever listened to a soundtrack from a movie and you can tell from the soundtrack this is the battle scene, the kissing scene, the near death and triumphant rescue scene?  You don’t even have to know the movie and you can tell based on the emotions within you, what must be happening in the movie at that particular point.  It is like going on a musical journey of someone’s personal soul journey, their heroes journey of personal transformation.

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential . . . these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.

 Each instrument is an individual point of consciousness for just those few minutes of playing a masters creation.  You can shift different instruments in and out of the piece and the piece totally changes.  Some changes are small, such as having three violins instead of four, or major such as all of the violins being silent.  In the same way small shifts in our mind, body and soul can be used to help us reach out and achieve our dreams, to reach our highest potential.

Always choose the path the feeds the soul

 – Confucius

 Music provides a detailed road map to where you are going with the piece being played.  There is a tangible vision of how it should be performed.  But there is also a space for the individual playing the piece to do their own version.  They can speed it up, slow it down.  Have you ever listened to various musicians cover a song where they take the song to a whole new place?  It is so interesting to me because when I have a favorite song and someone switches it up, sometimes I am “Wow that sounds wonderful”, and sometimes I am “Wow that really doesn’t work”.  It all depends on how tied I am to the original song.  The more connected I am to it, the more I want it to remain the way I heard it the first time.  No one way is the right way for everyone.  Always choose the one that feeds your soul.  That feels like the perfect fit – not too small or too big, but just right.

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.  Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

 – Rumi

 In jazz there is a free flow of creativity among the players. The leadership of the piece of music being created is passed like a baton.  Each person has a unique contribution to the piece and at the same time, there is a collaboration to the piece.  A shared rhythm, melody and harmony is created because you build and shape the music as you go.  No one tries to lord it over the others, but rather hearing the direction one person is going, the others try to uplift it to an even higher plane of existence.  In this way, as each player changes their playing of their own instrument, they change the sound and direction of the music being played.  Not by directing it, but by exploring it.  As you explore yourself and shift and change, so does every other player.  You can see them sitting there, eyes closed, faces of joy, totally lost in the journey the music itself is directing.  The result sounds like they already knew where they were going, but in fact it was the exploration that directed the destination.

Unless someone can look into the core of your heart, and see the degree of your passion, or look into the depths of your soul and see the extent of your will, then they have no business telling you what you can or cannot achieve.  Because while they may know the odds, they do not know you.  Nor do they know the power of your angels.

  – Sandra Kring

It is interesting that when I write, especially poetry I hear music playing in my head.  It is usually a combination of different songs that kind of blend themselves in and out of the writing.  There is an emotional connection to the heart and soul when I write.  I can feel the searching for the right words, both from the meaning of the word and the vibration of the word.  For example, hope and faith.  I tend to go with faith, because to me the vibration of the word hope is lower.  It is more of a maybe word, whereas faith to me has an expectation that it will be so, that it will happen.  Hope has more of a maybe, I don’t know vibration to it.  That is my own personal relationship to the words.  Others would have a different relationship to the words and that is ok.  But what this does is to allow me to touch the personal passion I feel when I write.  Music does the same thing, touching emotional vibrations.

Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change with it.

 – Steve Maraboli

What is the mindset that changes everything?  It is having the courage to take risks, by wearing our heart on our sleeve.  To feel the emotions of everything we come in contact with, and not let it take us out, but rather let them flow on by.  It is about have the capacity to sacrifice the “I want you to like me” feelings, so that I can tell you want you need to hear, instead of what you want to hear.  It is being vulnerable enough within ourselves, to pull out all the bits of behavior and personality we have taken on to be accepted.  And leaving out in the open all the bits that make us who we are that we have hidden away, as not being worthy. It is the wearing those bits of who we are at a soul level, that connects our life to our consciousness.

Once you realize that the road is the goal, and that you are always on the road, not to reach a goal, but to enjoy its beauty and its wisdom, life ceases to be a task, and becomes natural and simple, in itself an ecstasy  . . .

  – Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Living our truth; reaching for the stars; falling to the earth and trying again – that is the road we are on.  We have to be willing to be rejected because we live real, authentic lives.  We have to be willing to mark out our boundaries not our of fear of others, but love of ourselves.  When we change our mindset and live out loud who we are – that is when we are brave enough to climb that ladder. When we have the courage to reach higher and higher into our true potential – that is when life itself is an ecstasy.

[lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1] [lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1 use_content=1] Content to use [/lp-logic]

Hard Times Are Life’s Opportunity To Take Off And Fly Into Your Potential

How do you unlock potential_Be driven with your purpose. Pursue your purposeBe relentless in your alignmentIsn’t funny how you will look at someone as being “the overnight success” story.  There is no such thing as the overnight success.  Every step that we take in bringing our dreams into reality has a price.  People don’t see the 10,000 hours you put in to become the master that you are today.  They don’t see the hours that you continue to put in to hone your gifts into the genius category.  What if instead of getting mad about someone’s cutting remarks, we stayed silent.  And to take it one step further, what if instead of crying about what they just said or did (which is what they want) you laughed out loud about it?  What if you said, “if you hate this, just wait – I have more achievements that you can be mad about coming.”  And my personal favorite, “If you don’t like me and still watch everything I do, you’re not my haters, you’re my fans.”

Silence your critics.

Ignore your haters.

Delete your cynics.

 – Robin Sharma

The sad thing is that we listen to the critics at all.  We can have 10 people come up and gush all over us, how wonderful we are, so inspiring.  And then one person finds something negative to say about us, usually personal and not having anything to do with the job we do, and that is all we think about.  What if we turned it around?  Instead of taking it personally and getting wounded, what if we took it as a sign that we have something within us that needs to be released.  Thanking them, literally, because they just made you aware of some personal work that you need to do for yourself?  Just a little housecleaning to track down where that hurt you just felt is actually coming from.

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.

 – African Proverb

I have always loved the quote from Theodore Roosevelt.  It puts everything into perspective, because most haters are not putting themselves out there to accomplish their dreams.  They become haters because the truth that you are living, shows up the lies they are telling themselves.  They become haters because every time one of us puts ourselves out there, it reflects to them that they aren’t fulfilling their own personal destiny.  Every time we get back up from the failures, and keep going until we win through, it is like a stake in their hearts because they are too afraid to fail and so they don’t take even the first step into the arena.  They know that they have a divine destiny, a life purpose.  Instead of listening and following their souls calling, they smother their heart when it cries out to them to walk into the arena and get dirty.

It is not the critic who counts; nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deed could have done better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, who face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

 – Theodore Roosevelt

So how do you unlock your own potential?  You get curious.  You look for open doors to walk through.  You go on adventures.  You read, watch and listen and then think, think, think.  You wonder what if? What could I just do next?  What happens when I?  Like Alice in Wonderland, each step down the path brought something new into her life.  She realized that every single day she was a totally new person; that nothing was impossible; and that all of us are just a little bit mad; and it is always tea time.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.
‘I don’t much care where -‘ said Alice.
‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.
‘- so long as I get SOMEWHERE,’ Alice added as an explanation.
‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough”

    ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

 

Whenever I hear the word relentless, I think of a small child.  You know that age where they ask “why”?  Why is the sky blue?  Why do dogs bark and cats meow?  Why, why, why?  At first it is cute.  Then it drives you mad.  Children are great examples of being relentless when they want something.  How many times as parents have we said no, only to give in later because we can’t take it anymore?  But like a lot of excellent childlike qualities at some point most of us lose that quality of being relentless.  We stop asking because they will just say no.  We don’t ask because what if they say no and we put ourselves out there just to be shot down.  We don’t want to be annoying, or look foolish or be a failure, and . . . . .  so we make excuses.  We place the blame on others.  We start looking around for things that won’t be hard to do.

Why Do I Succeed?

I am willing to do the things you are not

I will fight against the odds

I will sacrifice

I am not shackled by fear, insecurity or doubt

I am motivated by accomplishment, not pride

If I fall – I will get up

If I am beaten – I will return

I will never stop getting better

I will  never give up – ever

That Is Why I Succeed

Unknown

Find a purpose in life so big, that it challenges every belief you have.  That it challenges you to do things and try things that never occurred to you before.  Instead of following the crowd, break out and find your own path.  Change the way you think.  Your story gives you so many clues to your life purpose.  Your dreams are like sign posts pointing you in the direction to go forward and bring them into reality.  Your souls voice is you refusing to be quiet and invisible.  We can’t know your story until you tell it.  Whether that is from speaking, writing, acting, dancing, singing – whatever form it takes, it must be told.  Your story isn’t about being a victim, it isn’t about the tragedy that happened.  Your story is about how you overcame “all that stuff”, and how you took life’s lemons and made the best lemonade in town.

I recently read an article about a 10 year old boy in Texas who likes to invent things.  In his neighborhood, there had been a baby left in a vehicle in the summer that had died.  It really affected him.  Now he wasn’t like most of us, saying how could someone forget their child in the car.  He wasn’t thinking that they should go to jail.  What he was thinking was what could I invent so that when someone makes a tragic mistake, it doesn’t have to result in the death of a baby?  So he now has a patent pending for a little cooler that looks like a giant lego, that will turn on when the heat gets too high and the car seat is occupied by a child.  By cooling the baby, it makes time for the parent to remember they left the child in the car and rescue them.  What struck me about this story is that this totally preventable situation has been happening for years and it never occurred to millions of adults to create some sort of mechanism in the car seat to cool the child and buy enough time for the child to be rescued.  How many other opportunities are there out there for some great thinking outside the box that will save lives? 

How big is your purpose?

 

[lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1][lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1 use_content=1] Content to use [/lp-logic]

Bring Your Unique Light To The World And Fulfill Your Life Purpose

In fairy tales when the princess was born, the King and Queen would give a feast and the wise women or fairies would bestow gifts on the child.  The gifts would range from virtue, to beauty, to wealth, to song.

I believe that you all have these wonderful gifts.  They feed into the pattern of what you came to earth to impact.  Impact is such a special word, because it has weight to it.  A small meteor falling to earth can create a large impact.  Every single one of us can make an impact in someone’s life.  In fact, we can impact the world.

Respond to every call that excites your spirit.  Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.  It will not lead you astray – Rumi

Pattern is another word that has a special energy to it.  Every puzzle that is solved, every person who becomes a master at something. it is all a matter of finding the patterns to a thing, and then using those patterns to your advantage.

A person can say what they believe.

They can take actions to demonstrate that they believe, but it is the patterns that result that really tell the true story.

This is because you can’t manipulate the patterns, like you can manipulate words and actions.  It is the patterns that create the self-sabotages in your life.  It is the patterns that reveal the truth about who you are.  They show up in every aspect of the life that you live, revealing not what you say you believe about yourself, but what is hidden beneath the words.

You can shift and change the patterns in your life by letting go of the things that no longer serve you.

It is like that security blanket a small child has.  Once the child understands that it doesn’t really need the blanket to be safe, the child is ready to let the blanket go.

You have things in your life that served you once upon a time.  But as you grew in knowledge and learned to apply that knowledge wisely, you outgrew some of those old beliefs that kept you safe.

To release the old patterns, you need to try on new behaviors.  Release the training wheels off your bike and ride confidently down the street without them.  Go out and create totally new patterns, that will serve you in your life now.

Every day is a once in a lifetime event.  How much more exciting would our lives be if we embraced this truth and lived accordingly? – Steve Maraboli

What is the thing that your heart aches for?  What is your soul’s longing?  What dream keeps you up at night?

Your purpose is as simple as loving others,
and
as complicated as how do you reach out without fear
and
bring that love into reality?

 

There are challenges in your life.   There are the consequences of bad decisions you made in the past.  You have had your heart broken, and you have broken hearts.  You have scars both inside and outside of your body.  How can you reach out one more time, when you were beaten by life the last time that you reached out?

You must, must, must, let all of the baggage go.  Drop it and walk away from it.  Otherwise, you will spend the rest of your life drifting through it without purpose, or ever fully understanding how to create a life that fulfills you.

It is in the journey itself that you uncover those gifts that you were presented with when you were born.

It is in the pursuit of genius in each of those gifts that the pattern of your life begins to take shape.

Like the puzzle, at first the colors seem so similar that you don’t notice the variations.  The puzzle pieces themselves seem to be the same shape and you can try 20 or 30 different pieces before you find the one that fits perfectly into the space.  There comes a point where the picture takes shape, and you can see what the next piece is.  It gets easier and easier.

You see all of us start out the journey thinking that we know where we are going, and what we need to bring to the journey to arrive at the destination.  But for a special group of us, what we learn is that it is the journey itself, not the destination that truly reveals and uses those gifts we have received.

A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey . . .  but a woman of strength knows it is on the journey that she will become strong – Luke Easter

As you grow in knowledge, apply the wisdom and step outside the comfort zones in your life, you learn to listen to your intuition.  That voice that whispers to your heart.  That souls voice says, “go right”.  “Stop here”.  “Now go there”. 

When you follow the directions of the soul, you uncover depths to your life that you never knew could exist.

Your soul reveals that you already know who you are, and what you brought to this life.

  • What the meaning of your life is.
  • What your purpose is.
  • What you are being called to do and how to do it.

All of these things are whispered to you from your intuitive inner knowing.  You just need to listen, accept and then act on it.

  • Trust that your life has a purpose.
  • Trust that your life is important to everyone that it has touched and will touch.
  • Trust that these dreams have been given to you for a reason, and that they are important.
  • Trust that your voice needs to be heard, that someone out there needs to hear you and your story, because without it they will be lost.
  • Trust that you were born to make an impact.  A deep crater.
  • Trust that your life purpose is to live your life out loud so that you can learn, grow, serve and dare to be the magnificent creation of God.

Trust that your soul has a plan, and even if you can’t see it completely, know that everything will unfold as it is meant to – Deepak Chopra

Believe In Your Own Greatness

Discover YOU.Find your PASSION.Live life with PURPOSE.Take ACTION.

 

If I were to ask you what your highest potential is, would you have a ready answer?  Would you need to think about it for awhile? What about the first career that you thought you wanted when you were little?  A policeman, Fireman, Doctor, Teacher, or maybe even the President?  What was it about that career that appealed to you?  Why did you change your mind?  Why did you give up the dream?

You have everything you need to build something far greater than yourself.

  – Seth Godin

Usually we give up a dream because we think we don’t have what it takes to make it happen.  This can come from the outside, from parents, friends, peers etc…, or from the inner critic fear, who convinces us that we aren’t good enough to be that person who can make their dreams come true.  To catch our potential and live our dreams we have to fight our greatest fears.  I believe absolutely that if we are given the dream, then we do have the potential.  I believe that all of us are better than we think we can be.

As human beings greatness is not so much in being able to remake the world as in being able to remake ourselves.

 – Ghandi

When faced with those fears of living out our dreams, we tend to run away.  We blame others for what we are afraid that we can’t accomplish.  We get involved in time sucking activities.  We live down to the lowest level of our potential, figuring that falling off the first stair step of the staircase won’t hurt as much as falling down one or two dozen steps.  Then looking up from the ground level, that idea of reaching for the moon seems even further away and less obtainable.  We run around with others who are running away from their own potential, so that we feel part of a crowd, safe and secure – “just like everyone else”. 

You can see and feel this mindset when you try to make a change.  The crowd around you doesn’t want you to make any changes in reaching out to grow into your potential.  They see that mirror of you reflecting back at them, and they will oppose it, because they don’t want to wake up to their own true potential.  It would mean that they have to grow and change too, and that is just too scary.  It is far easier to remain unconscious and in a rut.

Have you even seen pictures of the Oregon Trail with the ruts that were worn into the prairie by the wagon trains?  Some of them dug so far into the earth that it was like a wall on both sides of the wagon as they went through.  It might make you feel safer, but ruts are filled up with limiting beliefs, uninspired sameness, mental, physical, and career burnout.  It is a sure path to being asleep in your life.

I want people in my life who are more interested in my growth than my comfort.

  – Eric Johnson

Why does that matter?  Because study after study reflects that as a group, we develop a “sameness” in our actions.  Eating habits, exercise habits, even monthly menstruations, it all tends to become regulated to the group.  So if you want to reach your potential you need to associate with other people who are trying to reach theirs.  People who take action.  Who are awake and conscious not only to their own potential, but in the potential of others around them.  People who will cheer you on, who will stop when they see you take a fall and help you get back up. There isn’t any competition with this group of people, but rather collaboration in helping each other get up the next level of growth, and celebrating all of the milestones along the way.

To reach your full potential, you have to set goals that will stretch you.  You must not be afraid of taking risks.  You must learn to recognize opportunities and have the courage to pursue them. You have to make better choices that will provide better results.  Finally, you need to avoid the negative influences of other people and surround yourself with successful people who will encourage you to pursue your dreams.

  – Zig Ziglar

And you should expect to fall down more times than you succeed.  It is part of the process of learning something new.  You learn a new language, you will say the wrong words, in the wrong sequence, or just pronounce it so poorly that no one can understand you.  But if you immerse yourself in the language and culture (go live in the country that speaks that language with an actually family that refuses to speak your native tongue) you will be amazed at how fast you become proficient.

The problem is when we fall down and get up, at some point when we fall down again, we say we can’t get up again.  You fill in the blank of what your favorite excuse is, because anything we say after the word “BUT” is just that an excuse.  I wanted to finish college, but . . . “this is too hard”;  I wanted to interview for the new promotion, but . . . “I am afraid I it’s too big a leap”;  I thought we would be married forever, but . . . “I’m just not cut out for this”.  If you can build a visual picture of your life when you have accomplished the dream, it makes it easier to get clarity, to stay focused, to in a few words, “Have a Vision” and accomplish it.

Vision is the ability to see potential in what others overlook.

  – Rick Warren

So what do you do if it has been forever since you listened to your dreams?  If you have forgotten what wakes you up and fills you with joy of life?  First of all you need to believe in your potential being way greater that where ever you are right now.  Then think back to what makes you happy.  If money, time, and family was all in your favor, what would you do with your life right now?  If you knew that you only had one week left in your life, what unfinished dream would you want to dedicate all of your remaining time to?  What is it that haunts you, keeps you awake when you give your mind the freedom to think about it?  What is the “only if” in your life?  These are all places to look for that dream if you have misplaced it.  It also shows up in the areas in our life that come naturally to us.  Look for the pattern and sew that dream back together piece by piece.

So we have this dream.  We map out the path to bring it into reality.  We create a Destiny Map.  We start building bridges to grow ourselves into the kind of person that dream requires us to be.  Then at some point, we see that we have to cross a different kind of bridge.  The gap between where we are and where we want to go next, requires us to step out onto a bridge that we can’t see.  Like Indiana Jones we have to literally walk across what we see as air, and trust that the bridge is really there.  We have to risk everything we have, all of our beliefs in what we are capable of, to cross that bridge.  If you are lucky enough to reach this bridge, this is where most dreamers quit. They fail to seize the moment to do something they have never done. 

When you are not willing to be challenged, disturbed or offended, you are not willing to explore your weaknesses or ever reach your highest potential.

  – Bryant McGill

So expect failure.  Expect to be wrong.  Expect change.  Expect challenging times.  Realize that your greatness is hidden in your true potential and keep digging it up until you find it and expose it to the world.  Unlock the treasure chest and release your potential.  It is a priceless treasure, which doesn’t do us any good unless we are out there distributing it.  Dream big.  Work hard.  Believe in yourself.  Be who you really are.  Dream, plan, execute!

When everything seems to be going against you remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.

  – Henry Ford

 

[lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1][lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1 use_content=1] Content to use [/lp-logic]

Life Is A Journey Of Discovering New Possibilities

If you knew the journey beforehand, you'd learn nothing along the way..., Life gives you the journey,

Whatever happens,

Wherever you go,

Whatever you do,

Remember this;

No one can take the Fire out of your soul,

the Stars from your eyes,

the Passion in your heart.

Those are yours forever.

 – S.L.

Do you remember that famous line from “The Wizard of Oz”?  Almost at the end, Glinda the Good Witch says, “You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas”, then the Scarecrow asked why she didn’t say anything at the beginning of the journey?  And Glinda replies, “She had to learn it for herself.”  The same thing is true for each of us.

“Have faith in your journey.  Everything had to happen exactly as it did to get you where you’re going next” – Mandy Hale

I love the thought of curiosity in our travels.  Around the next corner, you never know what might be waiting for you.  Your focus will reflect what pops out at you.  You will notice the sun shining brightly, or the clouds coming to cover it up.  You will see rainbows or the coming thunder storm.  It is all a matter of the filters that you are viewing your life from.  Each experience adds up to who we are at this very moment.  And each moment, presents change and a new you.  Who are you becoming, as you journey down the road of life?

Commit To Your Dreams!

I invite you to join us on May 2nd for a purposeful gathering. Our intention is to create moments of life-changing conversation on how to make 2020 the year of achievement.


Chances are that what you’re struggling with, others are too. What life questions you have been asking yourself, others are asking themselves too. Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 dreams and goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success. Join us for a gathering that no one will forget.

“The journey between what you once were and who are you now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place” – Barbara DeAngelis

When you have some specific goals in mind, time seems to be so slow.  You feel like you’re wading through the mud, with each step taking so much effort.  Stepping down into the mud, feeling the cold water flooding inside your boots.  Even your toes are struggling to get a grip on the sole of the boot, as you’re trying to lift your foot out of the mud to take the next step.  Fighting against the boot as it remains stuck in the mud. You tug at your boot.  Finally getting it loose you struggle with the weight of the mud that is still attached to the boot.  You keep trying not to lose your balance and do a face plant into the mud.  It takes forever just to take a few steps in the right direction.

Have you ever felt that way?  Your have to remind yourself that each experience in your life, has been right on time.  Your are never late according the divine destiny.  Each step, and each situation that showed up at your door step right on time.  Right now you may be experiencing sickness, a job loss, work furlough, stress around your financial future, worried about putting food on the table.  That would be you stuck in the mud.  It’s hard to tell where to take the next step.

“I am learning to trust the journey even when I do not understand it” – Mile Bron

Each obstacle that you encounter, every mountain that you climb and then hike back down again, strengthens your muscles.  Some of the muscles are physical, some mental, and some are spiritual.  Learning to pace yourself so that you don’t get injured or tired and quit.  Learning about the importance of not getting caught in the mind whirlpool of indecision.  Learning that even when you think that you’re abandoned by God, you are in fact always being supported.  The breakdown teaches you so much about yourself.  You are stronger than you will ever know.  No matter what is falling apart in your life this minute, you can conquer anything and anyone.

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.  Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place” – Summer Saldana

It is also important to take the time to give thanks to every single person that has been a part of your life’s journey so far.  The wisdom of the mentors in your life.  The love of family.  The blessing of friends, who are only a text, IM or phone call away.  You can Skype girlfriends from around the world, and see their faces and feel in your soul how much they care and support you.  Remind yourself to stop feeling that world is passing you by.  Enjoy the journey.  If you have a habit of getting so involved in planning, in working, in taking action, that you spend all your time “doing” – push the pause button and take time to just “be”.  To remember that joy and happiness are found within the journey itself, not as a reward for reaching a new destination.

“I am deeply reminded that our life’s journey is a gift, not a given, and that we can never truly know how long the journey will last.  All we can do is decide how it unfolds” – Sonia Choquette

The best part of the journey to self discovery, is that it really never ends.  Because each time you reach a destination, the new you that it took to get there, looks around and says, “Where are we going to go now?”  The journey has way-stops or check points along the way, but each destination opens doors.  Doors to new places to go to, new ways you grow into.  Sometimes going around the corner to a new destination, is simply learning to look at familiar things with new eyes.  The thing that I know for certain, is that the journey is never over.  Even when you leave this life, you will still be on a journey.

 “You are not on a journey to God; you are on a journey with God” – Dr. Steve Maraboli

Commit To Your Dreams!

I invite you to join us on May 2nd for a purposeful gathering. Our intention is to create moments of life-changing conversation on how to make 2020 the year of achievement.

Chances are that what you’re struggling with, others are too. What life questions you have been asking yourself, others are asking themselves too. Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 dreams and goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success. Join us for a gathering that no one will forget.

Divine Timing – Trust, Let Go And See What Happens

When you truly “let go and let God” you stop trying to make something happen by a certain time.

You stop pushing the stopwatch.

You stop pushing those goals which are like large boulders up the hill, only to have them roll back down to the bottom when you get distracted.

What will then happen, is that divine timing is allowed to work in its own way, its own time, and its own mysterious plans and ways.

Paths open up before you that take you places that you would never have chosen to go.  Places that open you up to something new and so delightful that you never want to leave.

“Patience is quieting the ego and trusting divine timing” – Dean Jackson

Divine timing has amazing short cuts.  Let’s say that you have on your bucket list to go to Mt. Kilimanjaro.  You have no money to finance this kind of trip.

In your hometown is a non-profit that you volunteer to work for.  One day this non-profit, along with other agencies get a call to provide relief supplies for some villages near the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro.  You volunteer to go and help to deliver the supplies.  The helicopter drops you off at the village.  You are now within immediate climbing distance of your goal.

Now they ask for some of you to go up towards the summit to deliver the supplies.  Divine timing has just express delivered a bucket list goal and all you had to do is say yes.

Now that story was totally made up, and you are probably saying, but that doesn’t really happen.  So, I want to share my own personal favorite story of divine timing happening in my own life, when I had no other choice but to let go and let God.

My middle son called me to tell me that he and his girlfriend were getting married.  I was so happy for them.  This was in January, and they had set the date for August.  I sat down and planned out what I could do to get enough money together to pay for their honeymoon.

If I was extremely budget conscious and could earn some extra commissions at work, I could just pay for the honeymoon that they wanted In Mexico.  The end of February they called with a new surprise; they had moved up the date to May.  I looked at my now destroyed plan and no matter how I moved the numbers, there was no way to pay for the honeymoon by the end of April.

So, I sat down and pulled out some paper and wrote a letter to myself in that moment in time, from myself in June.  I wrote how happy they were to go on their honeymoon.  They had a terrific time, and I poured every emotion and feeling of gratitude and happiness into this letter.  I wrote how amazed I was how unseen forces seemed to move my financial mountains to make it happen.  I wrote how I never could have foreseen the ability to make my dream of paying for their honeymoon happen, and how grateful I was to God for providing me with the funds.

Then I put the paper away, with no attachment to the outcome in a drawer and placed all of my faith in divine timing.  Two weeks later, I got a phone call from a neighbor who lived across the street from our second home in Upstate New York.  They wanted to know if I was interested in selling them 10 acres of our property. They would pay cash and we could close in two weeks.

Now when we had bought this house, it was on 20 acres.  I didn’t know why at that time, but I negotiated to cut the parcel in half and have 10 acres of land and 10 acres with the house.  We paid full price for the 10 acres with the house and $1.00 for the 10 acres of bare land.  So, I was able to say yes to the neighbor and we negotiated a fair price.  We closed the end of March and the first week of April I was able to fully pay for my son and daughter in-law’s honeymoon.

Even if I had thought of selling the land to pay for the honeymoon, it is highly unlikely that we could have sold and closed on it in 30 days.  That time of year the area is still covered in snow.  But I believe that divine timing knew that when I bought that house five years previously, I was going to need to liquidate that land to pay for my son’s honeymoon.

Because I had listened to intuition and split the property, divine timing was able to maneuver into place a quick sale and funds to pay for that honeymoon.

An analogy of “letting go and letting God” is water.  Water always finds a way.  It might take a year, it might take a day, but what is meant to be will always find its own way to completion.

I always think of the Grand Canyon.  Water carved that canyon out of solid stone.  In one place within the canyon is a small island of stone in a perfect circle of water that wound around it.  I don’t know how that perfect circle of stone is still standing.   But the story my imagination tells me is that the stone was especially strong in that one spot and that it took water a lot of time and persistence, but it was able to carve away all of the parts that didn’t belong, until what was left, was what was supposed to be there.  A tall stone island in a perfect circle of water.

So, know that in your journey, you are always on perfect time, divine time.  You are not early; you are not late.  You are right now where you are supposed to be.

That goal, off in the distance that you are busy running to, will happen right on time.  It may be that like me, you don’t see any way that you can make it happen.  But if you are willing to listen to intuition; If you are willing to do things that may not make sense at the time you are doing them; like splitting up 20 acres into two 10-acre parcels, divine timing will place what you need into your hands, right on time.

  • What are your dreams, visions, your life purpose?
  • Are you on track to bring them into reality and complete them?
  • Have you allowed distractions to sidetrack you?
  • Are you unclear on what your life purpose is or how to bring it into reality?

We here at LemonadeMakers not only write about waking up to the reality of who you are and your life purpose and living up to your full potential.   We also are here to help you ask yourself the right questions to open up your mind to the possibilities of living the life you have always dreamed of.  Contact us anytime and we are happy to have that conversation.

Transformation Is A Major Part of Lifes Journey

Not Everyone Will Understand your desire to transform.That's ok.It isn't their journey to understand.

Can you imagine the conversation that might take place between a butterfly and a caterpillar that is about to build their chrysalis? It might sound like that.

How would you explain this overwhelming need to your non-caterpillar friends that you have to get so totally wrapped up in your need to change and transform? The birds are not going to understand. The bees are not going to get it. None of the other kinds of insects and animals go through this type of change.

But you know that you just have to do it. There really is no other way to answer your soul’s calling. You have to completely transform. You have to let go of what is no longer serving you.

You are not a climber of leaves and branches any longer. You have this overwhelming desire to fly. To soar. You can’t put a name to this yet, because you haven’t experienced it. But you can feel this constant calling to shift and change. You don’t understand it, yet at a deeper level you know that this is why you were born and you have to go for it.

Nothing happens until the pain of remaining the same outweighs the pain of change.

 – Arthur Burt

I believe that the change doesn’t have to feel painful. I think that the emotion that we feel is fear. But if you really analyze this feeling that we get, isn’t it an awful lot like when you are riding in a roller coaster? You are nearing the top of the climb and about to go speeding down the other side, isn’t it that feeling?

What if this feeling, this fear, is really anticipation? I know that I love this feeling of riding a roller coaster. The screaming, laughter, and excitement. Not everyone does. But a lot of us do.

What if this is the feeling of fear of change, and we change our definition from fear to anticipation? If we can change the meaning of this kind of feeling then, when we enter the chrysalis, we are anticipating the feeling of spreading our wings. We are anticipating the feeling of the wind beneath our wings.

If we are anticipating these feelings, then transformation is exciting. It is something to be desired. We enter into a wonderful relationship with it.

Sound interesting? Want to explore this together in greater detail? Continue your journey to transformation with us.  We are having a free online event “A Conscious Conversation” where we will explore how to courageously transform our lives to fully live into our divine destiny.

Events

Don’t Be The Missing Piece In The Divine Puzzle

Eventually all the pieces fall into place.  Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that everything happens for a reason – Unknown

I have several bags of puzzles at home. At some point they must have had a box or pictures of the puzzles, but somewhere along the way that part got lost.

So, I have these puzzles with no idea of what they are supposed to look like. I put one together, starting with the borders and then just gradually tackling one inside piece at a time. The day finally came when the last piece was inserted, and I could see the entire picture – Niagara Falls with both of the cities on the American and Canadian side showing.

Life is like that puzzle. I could tell that I had water of some sort based on the pieces, but was it a lake, the ocean, or a river?  I wasn’t sure.

I could tell that I had some sort of buildings, some landscape etc… Every day I would spend some time just working on one of the corners, trying every single piece that seemed to have the right shape or color to it.

Life isn’t about finding pieces of a puzzle.  It’s about creating and putting those exceptional pieces together – Unknown

Years ago, I saw a movie called “Man of the House” with Farah Fawcett. She had this wall sculpture on a big board that she was putting together with pieces of driftwood, sea glass, shells, etc…  Periodically she would find something and put it on the board.  One day she finds what she deems to be the last piece, and declares it is complete.

It was like a puzzle, because each thing she put onto the board was something that she was drawn to.  Life is like that.  There are things that come into our life that just call to us.  We don’t know where they fit, or why they should be there, but listening to our intuition we put them on the board and create our very own puzzle.

You have these unique gifts and talents to share as part of the divine puzzle. These are things that come naturally to you. That you just do with what seems like little effort.

I can see patterns in how people talk and act. The missing puzzle pieces in their lives seem to call out to me to notice them.  I have some talent in writing. I can do things very fast because of the patterns that I see.

You have your own unique gifts that you bring to this giant jigsaw puzzle.

You may find pieces to life’s puzzle in many places, but it is within you where the picture becomes clear – Unknown

You tend to discount your gifts; you want to fit in and not be a unique part of the puzzle. If you have or are around children, you will hear this “But everyone is going; or doing something”.  They want to be like “everyone else”.  Wear the same clothes; do the same things.

The fear of risk is involved when you go for your own transformation.  That’s what has you wanting instead to blend in. What you have is the opportunity, to blend the fear of standing out, with the realization that you are a part of the divine plan. It is about seeing yourself differently in relation to the world. How your differences are what makes the whole picture complete.

The greatest gift that we have is of our own self transformation. Embrace whatever challenge is currently happening in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation.

Have you ever had an almost completed puzzle get scattered all over the floor?  Maybe a small child or your cat decided to have a little fun at your expense?  All your hard work destroyed, and you have to put it all back together again.

Or maybe you got to the last few pieces and discovered that the last piece was missing?  You tear the room apart looking for it.

Did you ever notice that the word challenge contains the word change (CHAlleNGE)?  When we are challenged in life; when our puzzle is missing the last piece or has been scattered across the floor, life is asking us to change in some way. Unwrap yourself and go beyond your current form. Rise to the challenge and change!

A winner is one who accepts his failures and mistakes, picks up the pieces, and continues striving to reach his goals – Dexter Yager

Silence Is The Space Between The Words, The Inner Sanctuary Of The Heart

May the star's carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty. May hope forever%2When tragedy strikes someone that we love, we all have this tendency to want to fix it. That if we just had the perfect words to say, or the right thing to do, we could make it all better.

But grief is a walk alone.  Others can be there, and listen.  But you will walk alone down your own path, at your own pace, with your sheared-off pain, your raw wounds, your denial, anger, and bitter loss.  You’ll come to your own peace, hopefully . . . but it will be on your own, in your own time.

– Cathy Lamb

When I was younger they had these commercials for both band-aids and children’s aspirin. In the band-aid commercial the mom puts a band-aid on the little boys scrape, kisses it and he is smiling and his pain is gone. In the baby aspirin the pill magically makes the child feel better. Unfortunately, in real life, we can’t always “kiss it and make it better.”

What we can do is be there with a hug and a listening ear. Let them vent their anger, cry out their sadness, and get a release for the overpowering emotions.

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing . . . not healing, not curing . . . that is a friend who cares.

  – Henri Nouwen

When my nephew was killed, my sister was so strong. Making all of the funeral arrangements, who would speak at the service, what songs would be sung, renting the ballroom at the boardwalk – she went all out and was so together. She spoke at the funeral of the over seven years trying to get pregnant because her endometriosis was so bad. How when he was born, the cord was around his neck several times and she had to have an emergency C-section. All the years of loving him, and what he gift he was to her life. She told these stories and not one tear or breakdown. She hugged everyone at the memorial and not one breakdown. I don’t think that I could have done what I saw her do.

Later that night, all of the busyness of the funeral was done, then she broke down. All I could do was hold her. Tell her I loved her. That I was there for her. It was the first time, I couldn’t “kiss it and make it all better.” It has been several years of holding her and loving her, but she has come out the other end of a dark tunnel.

The reality is that you will grieve forever.  You will not “get over” the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.  You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.  You will be whole again but you will never be the same.  Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.

  – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

There comes a time when the healing happens. It doesn’t mean that you no longer miss what has been taken from you, just that it no longer controls your life. Each of us handles grief differently. We shouldn’t judge another person by how they handle it or expect them to “be better faster.”

No rule book.  No time frame.  No judgement.  Grief is as individual as a fingerprint.  Do what is right for your soul.

  _ Hw

We can look with fresh eyes at the beauty that still exists in our world. We can walk step by step in the arms of loved ones, knowing that when we stumble in the darkness of grief, they will put the light of hope in our hearts, that things will get easier.

Healing comes when we choose to walk away from darkness and move towards a brighter light.

  – Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Listening to the silence of the night, we can open our hearts and ears to the sounds of the universe. If we just be in the present moment, we can hear beautiful songs we have never heard before. The night insects, like crickets will sing to us. We can hear the night birds, like the owl tells us a story. We can be serenaded by the croaking of the frogs. Never stop listening for the messages from the creator, because these messages will be a balm to our hearts, helping us to heal.

[lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1][lp-logic ids=”3473″ limit=1 use_content=1] Content to use [/lp-logic]

Live Your Truth, And Don’t Let Any Obstacle Get In Your Way

Focus

I love this quote with this photo. When you are rock climbing, you have to have singular focus on what you are doing. Where is the next hand grip? The next place to wedge in your foot? Constantly looking up the wall of rock to find the easiest way up.  Checking your lines to be sure you are safe.  The rest of the world recedes to the back of your mind.  You don’t hear anything, except the thoughts in your head about the next hand or foot hold.  It all about balancing your weight on this foot, then holding on with that hand, as you extend for the next hold. 

Everyone has a story of personal tragedy.  Illness in the family; a death; a divorce; a loss of employment, an accident, the list can go on and on.  It might be that you lose faith or hope of life ever turning around.  The injustice of your situation can eat at your soul if you allow it to.  You get so focused on what is going wrong, that you don’t see everything that is still going right.  You judge yourself or others; you place blame and make yourself a victim; you get angry. In order to move on, you need to stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on the positive.

“Happiness is a choice, not a result.  Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.  No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy.  Your happiness will not come to you.  It can only come from you”  –  Ralph Martson

Happiness comes from a way of focusing on the positive things in your life.  No matter how sideways your life is going, there are always things to be grateful for.  You need to stop focusing on the problems, and instead focus on finding solutions. Stop over thinking and start feeling what is true, what is right.  That is when your life will start flowing in the right direction.

In a storm, the wind and rain can blow so hard that it beats you into the ground.  Flood waters can rip a house right off its foundation.  Trees can fall and tear the roof off of a house.  But at some point, the storm passes and the sun comes out again, and dries up all of the rain water.  You can’t prevent bad things from happening, but you can choose how to handle it with grace, joy, and peace. Don’t retreat into victimhood.  Focus on what can be changed.

“Always remember, your focus determines your reality”  – George Lucas

My children growing up loved the poetry of Shel Silverstein.  They loved his book, “Where The Sidewalk Ends” the most.  One of his poems is about a little girl that says she feels sick. She proceeds to list every possible illness and childhood disease, in order to not go to school.  Then the parent says it is Saturday. And all of sudden the little girl feels great and goes outside to play.  The poem has always reminded me of the stories we tell ourselves, to not get up and do what we know that we should and need to be doing.

“Whatever life may send your way – Make the best of it.  Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about it.  Instead, find a way to do something about it.  Learn from it, adjust to it, be strong, be flexible and be your best in every situation”  – Les Brown

I love the work of Byron Katie because her four questions shows you how the stories you tell yourself are not the complete truth or the only truth of a situation.  I highly recommend reading her books.  Take any situation currently creating drama or trauma in your life.  Ask these questions, and really sit with the answers.  Feel into the answers of what is really truth.

1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, skip to 3.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? (clue what emotions does it create, what stories does it tell?)
4. Who would you be without the thought? (clue how would that change your attitude or relationship if it wasn’t true?)

Anytime I have used these questions, I realize that #2 stops me in place every single time.  I have never been able to say that something is absolutely true.  The thought I am thinking then becomes the only source of my pain.  If I release the thought, I release the pain.  Who would I be without the pain?  I would be happier and more at peace.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates

Then, she does what she calls the turnaround question – the turn around question puts the thought to the opposite end of the statement. The purpose of this is to welcome all your thoughts and experiences with open arms, so that you lose the resistance to what is actually true.

“I woke up this morning and realized I don’t have what it takes to sit back and be average”  – Unknown

Years ago I was a loan processor for a company in Seattle.  I worked for a branch in an area called South Center, which was next to a shopping mall.  Most of the people there smoked and they would be out front every hour smoking a cigarette.  It worked out that they spent 10-15 minutes of every hour, out front smoking.  I didn’t smoke, and I didn’t feel right about spending “working” hours I got paid for, standing out front while everyone else smoked.

They gave me a bad time for the first few months I worked there and then gave up trying to convince me to be part of the crowd.  You have a moral code, you may have a very strict code, or not so strict.  To be other than average, you need to work hard to excel and be a master of your craft.  Spending 15 minutes of every hour for 8 hours means that you are working  only 6 hours.  A lot of work can be accomplished in those two hours.  Or you could just sit back and be average standing out front with the smokers – the choice is always yours to make.

“The only way to discover our true potential, is to clear out the clutter and focus on what matters”  – Unknown

Thinking back to that rock climber, each hand hold and each foot hold gets her closer to the top.  Her focus is solely on getting her to the top.  She isn’t thinking about the climb down, or the ride home, or going to work on Monday.  Every decision you make should be all about moving you one step closer to just today’s goals.  You don’t focus on the past or the future, just the next move for today.

“Each day, focus your attention on what you want.  Each day, take one step that will bring your closer to it.  All things are possible!  The key is to identify it, claim it for yourself, and believe that you are worthy to have it” – Iyanla Vanzant

1 4 5 6 7 8 12