Walk Away – Not From Pride Or Arrogance, But Because That Door No Longer Leads Somewhere You Can Live

We all stand at the threshold of a great adventure every day. It can be a scary place, because we all have our individual self doubts. We have to unlearn the programming that says it is selfish to put ourselves first. It is not selfish to love ourselves, to take care of ourselves, and make our own happiness a priority. As they say on every airplane takeoff, in case of emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first, then you can help others. 

Every soul is beautiful and precious; is worthy of dignity and respect, and deserving of peace, joy, and love. 

 –  Bryant McGill

You cannot change what is going on around you, until you start changing what is going on inside of you. We need to put on that oxygen mask, so we can take stock of what inside of us is not working. We need to let go of what is not ours to fix, put up with, or allow to continue happening.

We are all born with a purpose and a passion.  It is up to you to seek out that purpose and find your passion.

 – Billy Cox

We are fragile human beings who can be destroyed by another’s words or actions. If we are not being treated with love and respect, we need to see what value we have assigned to ourselves. The people that we surround ourselves with are a reflection of how we view ourselves.  We need to get off the “reduced last chance sale rack”, and get inside the fancy glass case where the precious jewels are displayed.

You are determining the future you every day.  Will the decisions you make today lead you closer to the person you want to be tomorrow? 

– Brenna Smith

How many times for example has someone said, “Where to you want to go to dinner?” and your answer was that you didn’t know or didn’t care.  You do know what you feel like eating, but somehow, you always say, “it doesn’t matter, what you do want?”  The scriptures say something like, he who is faithful in little things, is faithful in bigger things.  What it is talking about is the principle of patterns.  What you do in the big things has been formed by the habits of what you do in the little things.  The habit of always putting others before you, started in the smaller things, like what do you want for dinner.

Be authentic!  Don’t lower your dreams to fit it with others.  If people can’t celebrate your dreams, they are probably not your friends.

 – Phineas Kinuthia

We may be afraid that no one will listen to us, so why speak.  We may be terrified that they will laugh at our dreams and say they are unattainable. We fear being judged as unworthy, not enough.  We don’t want to be all alone and so we abdicate our life away, so that we will be accepted and fit in. This is the story that we tell ourselves so that we don’t have to change.

Instead we can start making choices that feed us, energize us. We can choose to be unstoppable. To be bigger than any worries that are buzzing around us. Those buzzing worries are just scenario’s that no longer serve to build us up. Release what is no longer serving you. Open the window shooing the fly to go buzz its way outside.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do, is also the right thing to do.

The universe is always speaking to us . . . sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else, something more.

– Nancy Thayer

You are more than you have shown yourself to be so far. You are more than you have been willing to see. You are stronger than you know. Trust your intuition and live a courageous life. 

Respect your efforts, respect yourself.  Self respect leads to self discipline.  When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.

– Clint Eastwood 

Today is the day to get up and walk down your sacred path. Choose to dwell in divine possibility. Awaken to the divine guidance that has been sending you messages. Believe in the divine plan, that you are more capable than you ever dreamed. Remember that you will never had to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny.  If it feels like that is the choice, then your intuition is telling you to pass that choice by. 

Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old.  

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Illuminate The Path For Others So They Can See A Way Out Of Their Own Darkness

The world needs more poets like Maya Angelou.  Her writings are so inspirational.

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within” – Maya Angelou

When you shine your light, it means that you are expressing your soul’s purpose in being here.  You are living congruently with your soul’s purpose and your light shines out.  Don’t you just love being around people, when they are being their authentic selves?  That is true charisma and magnetism.  Maya Angelou was such a soul.  Desmond Tutu is another such soul.

When you listen to the news each morning or evening, it is hard to see the light through all of the darkness.  So much of the news is about the darkness in your community, with only the occasional story that reflects the everyday heroes among us.

“If you light a lamp for someone else, it will also brighten your path” – Buddhist Proverb

Then you all have those times when the darkness of the world has settled into your own living rooms.

You lose a loved one in death; you lose your job; your family falls apart and that special person that promised to love you forever, leaves you.  It could be that due to addictions, your spouse or child has turned into someone that you don’t recognize.  Despite everything you try, you can’t reach them.

So much darkness can spill across your threshold, like the floods during a storm, safety seems to be an unreachable, forgotten place.  You may feel that no matter how many candles you light, the darkness has taken over and you can’t see your way out of it.  The pain has spread from your hearts and buried your soul.

This is the time when you might believe that everything is finished.  That life is over for you. That it is no longer worth living.  And that is when a new beginning happens.  I love the analogy of photos and darkrooms.  The negative is developed in the dark.  Then when the chemicals have worked their magic, the photo can be seen.  Out of the darkness comes a beautiful picture.

Something new has been created.

“If you can’t be the light, be the match.  You may not be the candle to illuminate the room, but your spark can be the source of its light” – Unknown

For most of you, if you look backwards in your lives, you find that the most personal growth was created by the darkness that entered your life.  If you can remember that, when you are going through the “dark night of the soul”, then you know that even if life is giving you bushels of lemons at the moment, something beautiful is about to be born.  It is at this time that you need to remember these words:

In the words of another wise soul, Martin Luther King Jr start where you are.

“If you can’t fly, then run.  If you can’t run, then walk.  If you can’t walk, then crawl.  But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward” – Martin Luther King Jr.

You have to keep moving forward into the light.  You have to find some way to keep the light of your heart alive.  Martin Luther King Jr. told us that only light can drive out the darkness, and only love can drive out the hate.  Your heart has both the light and the love you need contained within it, if you don’t barricade yourself from it.

So, when darkness seems to be the only thing you can see, look more closely.  LemonadeMakers are all around you.  We all have our heart lights shining out into the darkness, helping others to see their way out.

“Strong people don’t put others down, . . .  they lift them up” – Michael P Watson

You all have your own stories of the darkness that visited with you.  LemonadeMakers know your story, because we have been in your shoes.  We will help you back into the light, and you in turn will help someone else. That is what the light of love is all about.

Remove The Boundaries And Make Your Dreams A Reality

In 2013, in Oregon, teenage sisters Hanna (age 16) & Haylee (age 14) lifted a tractor to save their father pinned underneath.

In 2015, in St. John’s, Newfoundland, Nick Williams lifted a four-wheel-drive vehicle to save a young boy pinned beneath its tire.

In 2015, in Vienna, Virginia, Charlotte Heffelmire was able to momentarily use incredible strength to free her dad from a GMC pick-up truck.

“The only thing limiting us in life is our belief that there are limits” – unknown

What do these three things have in common?

They are what you call miracles, extreme feats of strength. Adrenaline on overload. What they demonstrate is that the rules, boundaries and limitations don’t exist.

Why? Because you can blast through them, when you don’t stop to think about it. These examples show people who did something their logical minds would have told them was impossible. But because someone they loved was in danger, they did the impossible.

There was a commercial at Super Bowl XLIX for Always #LikeAGirl. In the video an adult female shows them what it’s like to run like a girl, then a young female teen, and preteen female and last a little girl. The older girls ran in an unreal way that was weak and ineffective. The younger girls ran as fast as they could. The commercial highlighted the fact that most women when they hit puberty, take in limitations to what they can do and be. 

“Our beliefs are just thoughts with emotions tied to them that we’ve taught ourselves to believe are true” –   JV Crum III

As teenagers, in order to fit in, you started holding back on what you were capable of.  75-80% of your negative thinking patterns come from negative beliefs that you have made up about yourself. 

When I started school, I was four years old, turning five in November.  I entered first grade, because my school didn’t have a kindergarten.  So, I was very small and always 1-2 years younger than everyone else in my grade. 

I was chosen last for any sport activity.  I formed the belief that I wasn’t good at sports.  Because of this belief, I never tried.  To this day, I am not active in any sports.  This is just a belief, and only my reality as long as I let it be. 

Ernestine Shepard, is a body builder.  She believes that age is nothing but a number.  Because of that belief she is doing some amazing things.  When she was 56 years old she decided to become a body builder.  In 2010 she entered the Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest female body builder.  At 83 years old she is still going strong.  “I am out running/walking at 3:30 a.m. in the morning with a group of people, seven days a week,” Ernestine told the Miami Times. “I eat very healthy and eat five meals a day every day. My gym schedule consists of going five days a week and doing a variation of 100 sit-ups per day.”

She has been on Oprah and recognized throughout the world for what she is doing. She teaches an Energy Fitness Class at a gym.  She has a video created by Prevention Magazine.  She is an excellent example of how it is never to late to take a negative belief about yourself, and break through any self imposed limitation with a new positive belief.

“Don’t limit yourself.  Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do.  You can go as far as your mind lets you.  What you believe, remember, you can achieve”  – Mary Kay Ash

All of us continue to allow limitations to rule our lives as adults. Some limiting beliefs are conscious and some unconscious. You need to realize that it is all just an illusion, a false belief of your imagination.

At one time there was a saying that if God meant for man to fly, he would have been given wings. The Wright Brothers refused to allow that limiting belief keep them from their dreams. 

Your beliefs challenge you to get creative.  You can choose to rise up and create what is needed to be successful.  Failures come when instead of rising up, your mind creates road blocks.  Your mind comes up with all of the perfectly good reasons why it can’t possibly work.  Why you are “not enough” of something to make it happen.  This path of limited thinking leads to failure.

People with boundary problems have distorted attitudes about who is responsible for failures in their life.

• Your parents made mistakes in how you were raised.
• Your have relationships right now don’t allow you the freedom you need to be successful.
• You don’t have a college degree.
• You are poor.
• Someone is out to get you at work.

The excuses list could go on and on.   The truth is that you have built boundaries all around your excuses and painted yourself into the proverbial corner.  The corner is limiting, but it feels safe.  You lack the courage to step over the line and actually risk pursuing something you want.  You are just plain afraid of any change in your life.  It happens to everyone all the time.

“Boundaries are for those who are too afraid to take the leap”  – quoted from @Business Beware

If you accept a limiting belief, it will become your truth.  What walls have you built over the door of opportunity that you are ready to blast into bits? What limiting belief are you ready to let go of?

Share with us your limiting belief that you are letting go of.   Your share will help all of us to do the same.

To Catch Your Dreams, You Have To Be Brave Enough To Chase Them

Have you ever heard of the question  – If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would you want to have to a dinner party?  Eleanor Roosevelt is on my list.  She seems to have been a remarkable woman.  Her advice?

“Do one thing everyday that scares you”  – Eleanor Roosevelt

I don’t live up to this quote, but I do try to do things that scare me.  First I procrastinate on them a little, though.  Most of the things that scare me, are things that I have never tried to do before.  So every year part of my goals, are to do things that I don’t currently know how to do.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you got your first bike?  I remember being so excited to be able to ride a bike like all of the bigger kids did.  It was a symbol of growing older.  A lot like getting your drivers license or turning 21, a true milestone.  First though you had to have training wheels. It took a time or two to figure out that they were keeping you from falling, because you had to learn to trust them.  Then came the day that you had probably been whining about, the day they took the training wheels off.  You were ready to balance the bike and ride it all alone.  After a fall or two, you figured out how to balance the bike and from then on you were no longer a baby.

What I remember most, is that even though I was scared of falling and getting hurt, I wanted those training wheels off.  Being accepted into the big kids group was more important than letting the fear stop me.  Always remember that when you are scared, you are thinking about doing something that requires you to be brave.  Riding a bicycle without training wheels for a 5 year old is being very brave.

“If it’s both terrifying and amazing then you should definitely pursue it”  – Erada

What is something that you have done this past year that required you to be very brave?  What were the training wheels that you removed, the thing that you were depending on, that you needed to let go, so that you could grow?

When I took my drivers training class, it was part of high school.  The class started right after school, and the first time behind the wheel you had to drive off a side street bordering the high school.  All of your friends would gather around the stop sign, waiting for you to drive the car out of the lot and up to the stop sign on the side road.  Of course, there were several sudden jerking stops as you drove toward the stop sign and all of your friends would laugh.  It was like a hazing in a way, because it eventually happened to everyone you knew.  At some point we would all be the object of ridicule.  But at the same time, it was like – cool, I’m driving a car!

These are the two examples that I keep in my head when I am trying to break through and do something that scares me.  Both of those things scared me, but at the same time, it was cool, look at what I am doing!  It reminds me of the hit song from “Panic At The Disco”, “Hey look ma, I made it”.  It also helps to have mentors like Eleanor Roosevelt.  People that you admire, who you can look to for guidance.   Albert Einstein is another of my dinner party guests.  He said:

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new”  –  Albert Einstein

I think that sometimes you are scared to want something so badly that it hurts.  You are scared of not only failing, but of succeeding and then being disappointed.  Of succeeding only to lose it later.  So you tell yourself that you are afraid of failure, but in reality, you are afraid of success not being enough.  Of success not lasting.

“Move out of your comfort zone.  You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new” – Brian Tracy

I have really thought about this fear of failure/success.  I love the breakdown of the process in the above picture – that moving out of your comfort zone is actually a process of moving from fear, to learning and then to growth. (note:  the photo is from Adobe and I can’t fix the typo)

Once I move past fear the feeling I have shifts into anticipation.  Like fear, it also begins and ends in the stomach.  Like riding the roller coaster as it climbs up and up to the sky, and then hurtles you down to the earth, whipping you back and forth through the turns.  The wind blowing against you, your stomach lurching up your chest as you hold on tight.  Then all of sudden the ride is over and you are running back to the end of the line to do it again.  This kind of fear is telling you that being scared can be a thrill, because you are learning and extending your comfort zone at the same time.  That what you are about to experience by entering the growth zone is worth breaking through the hesitation and going full out.

“Life is inherently risky.  There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing”  – Denis Waitley

They say that at the end of a persons life, what they talk about is the things that they didn’t take the risk and try to do.  Being in love, is one of those risks.  Being afraid of being vulnerable, of being rejected, they hold back the words.  At the end of their life they regret not telling people how they really felt, not saying “I love you” enough to those that mattered to them.  When they had the opportunity, they shrunk back telling themselves, “they know how I feel”.  While that may be true, what any person wants and needs is to hear those words.

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” – Unknown

So whether it is learning to ride a bike, drive a car, ride a roller coaster or say “I love you” – don’t let fear hold you back.  Be brave.  Say the words, do the deeds.  Feel the fear and do it because it is scary.  Do the things that both excite you and scare you at the same time.  Live your life as fully expressed, as bravely, and as committed as you can.  Just maybe if you can do that, you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined.

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them”  –  Walt Disney

Never Be Afraid To Try Something New, Turn The Page

I used to work for a company that owned hospitals and healthcare centers, doing accounting.  The majority partner in the business would have the same order for lunch, every single day.  A turkey sandwich with potato chips.  Every single day, he ate the same lunch.  They ordered lunch from TGIF, so it wasn’t like he didn’t have any other options.

I think many of us live in a rut.  Stuck in a groove we can’t get out of, whether it’s our job, family drama or the little frustrations of everyday life.    – Brian Pinkerton

I always wondered if he ate the same breakfast every morning, and the same dinner every evening.  He was definitely a man stuck in a rut.  Rush Limbaugh says that when you are in this experience, you “are out of contact with your own genius”.   You have had this happen in your life at some point and time.  The rut is a place of safety.   You may have had a fear of the unknown, so the rut was a place of safety, because it is always the same.  When you turn the page, who knows what might happen?

So what Zella is telling us, is that being in a rut, can actually be part of the journey – the point is once you recognize that you are stuck, then you can start going backwards, or forging ahead out of the rut.  That you can blaze your own trail off the beaten path to your destination. That you can escape the rut.  That you can get back in contact with your personal genius.  This is because living your life on purpose through your personal genius, is when you know that you are home.

Changing a behavior is like driving down an old, rutted, dirt road.  In order to get out of the rut and onto a new path, you need to jerk the wheel really hard.  If you don’t jerk the wheel hard enough, you’ll just bounce right back on the same, old, rutted path.  So for change to happen, hold on tight, jerk that wheel as hard as you can and get ready for a happy ride.  Change is just beyond, on the other side.    – Perfectharmonysolutions.com

When you listen to your personal genius, your souls voice, it leads you to amazing places.  You find yourself living and doing things that previously you would only read about.  Things that you could never imagine yourself doing. It is a conscious choice to listen to this voice that emanates from deep within.

We’ve all been there.  The stress of moving your household.  First packing then unpacking.  It is exhausting, bad breaking labor.  Or not?  Maybe it’s a chance to play outside the box of go, go, go and instead find the joy in the moment.  That is a totally inside job.

The choices that come from the outside are harder to deal with.  The tragedy knocks you down and makes you a victim.  Even the blessing, is a harder choice, because the blessing usually starts out like the tragedy. It becomes the blessing because you realize that you were stuck and needed your world turned upside down to shake you loose.  The result of the blessing is that you took life’s lemons and made them into lemonade.

Being stuck in the past is like walking forward with your back facing front.  You’ll always miss out on what’s in front of you.   –  thedailyquotes.com

How do you recognize that you are in a rut?  One sign is reliving the past.  It happens because you were comfortable there.  You may complain about it, but you make no movement to actually change it.  Another is repeating the past mistakes over and over again.  Why do you repeat patterns of mistakes?  Because you have convinced yourself that this time will be different.  My mom was married five times, and every single man she married, she met in the bar that she was working in.  One of the things that every single man had in common?  They were all alcoholics.  I remember telling her as a teenager, that maybe if she met men some place besides work, it might work out better?

You must learn a new way to think, before you can master a new way to be.   – Marianne Williamson

This is how you get out of the rut.  You don’t try to solve problems in your life with the same thinking that created them.  You step up and out of the rut.  And you begin blazing a new trail.  So instead of stepping backward into the rut, step forward into growth.  See where life is taking you.  Listen to the voice of your soul, and wake up.  Live your life with the intention to grow, live your life from your true reason and purpose for being here, and love your life with a passion that is on fire!

Keep Going. Everything You Need Will Be Provided With Divine Timing

Life is too short to think small.  If you think that something can be done, then it is too small.  If you think something is probably impossible, that is the goal to go for.  Not because the goal itself is the thing, but because of how trying to reach it will grow you.

If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.  Go for the moon shot kind of goals.

Moon shot goals involve others in coming together as a community to make the really big goals happen.  Moon shot goals help others to reach out past their own boundaries and limitations as they buy into helping you accomplish yours.

The will to win.  The desire to succeed.  The urge to reach your full potential.., these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.   – Sabine Mondestin

The hard work of the goal is in making the vision clear.  When you can see the minute detail, then you can make plans.  With plans come steps.  With steps, you begin moving into action.  You gain a tremendous feeling of confidence when this happens.  This confidence, grants you personal empowerment.  Empowerment fuels your passion to bring the goals into reality. This is how the miracles begin.

It is like the infinity circle in which one part feeds and fuels the next part, in an never ending cycle.  Clarity fuels the plans.  Then plans fuel the steps.

Then steps start the wheels moving and you get action.  Action gets you excited that stuff is finally happening.

Personal empowerment comes from actions taking place.  Personal empowerment in turn fuels passion.  Passion feeds back into clarity.  Clarity begins the whole process again.

This is because as the vision starts moving forward into implementation, you get more clarity.  Clarity starts new plans.  New plans lead to revised actions.  The whole cycle begins spinning again.

With engagement the divine one moves in with synchronicities and doors begin to open.  People show up, all to bring your goals into reality.  You are not meant to accomplish things by yourself.  But no one can help you, until you help yourself.

I used to extinguish under the weight of living, but one day, I reached into my chest, dusted off my courage, and asked myself, “where’s your fire?”  –   D. Antoinette Foy

Be strong about your goals, and flexible about your methods.  Be willing to try things you don’t think will work.  To try things that you have never done.  You learn by discovering what will work for you.

Has anyone ever tried you train you by having you watch them do the job?  They walk you through a program.  They tell you what your inputs should be.  You go back to your desk, and you can’t remember what to do.  Your notes don’t make any sense to you.

But when someone sits beside you, and guides you as you do the work, now it sinks in.  You learn by doing it yourself.  As you do the work, you have the space to think of the questions you need to ask to understand the process.  When you just learn the process you are just a cog in a machine. When you understand the process, now you can innovate.  Now you can teach it.

When you become visible, you take a huge risk.  Because not everyone is going to like you.  Some people are going to hate you, just because you are different.  There will be those people that will be mean and cruel.  That needs to be okay.  You need to understand that you are not here for everyone.

You are not here with your gifts for those who don’t want them.  You are here for those that do.

The only real difference between us, is that some of us have remembered why we are here.  Others are still asleep to their true purpose.   They don’t remember their divine inheritance.    They will find fault with what you are doing, without really understanding why it bothers them so much.  They act as a challenge to help you reach your highest potential.

If you are persistent, you will get it.  If you are consistent you will keep it.  – Unknown

Such an interesting quote.  Being persistent is how you learn something.  Have you ever listened to a two year old, asking “why”?  They are the most persistent creatures in the universe.  Persistence is how you learn.  Understanding comes from doing it consistently.

You literally sink the learning down into your bones.  I like to think of learning, as how you learned to ride a bike.  Most of us can ride a bike.

• But how many of us learned how to ride with no hands?
• Learned how to jump the bike over obstacles?
• Learned how to do a wheelie?

You were persistent enough to learn to ride, getting back on every time you fell.  But were you consistent enough to go past the basics and learn all of the tricks of riding a bike – did you become a master?

How do you let the amazing out?

• You get curious.
• You think, why not?
• You question, how come?
• You imagine, what if?
• You wonder, who can I collaborate with on this?

Curiosity is the compass that leads you to your purpose.  Your reason for being here now.

When you are tempted to give up, your breakthrough is probably just around the corner.  – Joyce Meyer

Then you work on your true inheritance, and accept that as you become masters on this earth, that your signature will become your autograph.

A signature is so much more than just a splash of ink across the paper.  A signature is style.  It is a “look”.  It is something that says who you are.  When you see the Nike symbol, what pops into your mind?  Nike is not just about shoes.

When you hear the Coca Cola jingle, “I’d like to teach the world to sing” how does it make you feel?  Coca Cola is more than just a drink.  That is what a signature is.

You have so much inside of your soul waiting to come out.  That is why you will risk becoming visible.  That is why you can’t think small.

Because some part of you deep inside knows how truly magnificent you really are.  Each of us is a thread in Gods tapestry.  Each of us has a part to play.  Each of us has to become visible, in order for the pattern to be seen.  Each of us has that special one of a kind signature that the world needs to see, feel, and hear.

What Is The “Normal” That We Spend Most Of Our Life Trying To Be?

Brene Brown gives us a hint of what we are seeking when we say we just want to be “normal”.

“Because True Belonging only happens when we present our Authentic, Imperfect Selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of Self-Acceptance” – Brene Brown

Being “normal” to most of us, means that you fit in.  That you are accepted.  That you experience a sense of belonging to a group or tribe.  So, the first clue to how you achieve that sense of belonging or being normal, is that you accept yourself for who you really are, deep down inside. You don’t rely or depend on what other people are thinking about you.

What they think about you is none of your business.  It actually has nothing to do with you.  It has to do with how your actions or lack thereof are triggering them.  And whatever triggers them is all about their own shadows.

“Normal is for people without courage” – Unknown

So why is it so hard to have that feeling?  Because you are so busy rejecting who you really are.  An easy example is what most of us do when someone has a camera – you either try to stay out of the photo or try to position yourself so that you are hiding whatever part of your body you don’t want to be memorialized by a photo.  Then you find fault with how you look in the photo.

How many photos do you have of yourself that you actually love?  Why not?

“Normal is an illusion.  What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly” – Morticia Adams

You feel that you are the only one who feels the way that you do.  So, you push the true self down into the basement of your soul and lock the door.  Then you start building a persona to match what you think is normal.  Because this persona isn’t who you really are, you can’t really have that sense of true belonging.

Instead, you run around with this sense of “trying” to belong.  What is so funny, is that almost every person in this group that you are trying so hard to fit into, is doing the exact same thing.  In fact, there are probably friends of yours who if you all took down the personas and accepted who you really are, are in fact part of your tribe that you think doesn’t exist.

“I tried being normal once.  Worst two minutes of my life” – Unknown

When I was in grade school and Junior High School, we moved every six months or so.  Until I was in high school, I didn’t attend one school for the entire school year.  It was usually two different schools in two different towns.  This made it really hard to make friends.

What I remember most is trying to be who I thought someone would want me to be, just so that I could have a friend.  In High School I first made friends with a group of girls that were on the wild side, because the wild girls were more accepting of new people.

Now where I ran into problems was that I was an “A” student, and the wild girls were not.  So, after the first experience of being put down for “A” grades, I tried to downplay my grades.  Then I started letting them slide into “B’s” to be accepted.

But the truth was that I liked school, I liked learning, I liked trying to be the best in the class.  So, I changed my friends to some that didn’t care what my grades were.  They allowed me to be who I was.  Their acceptance gave me a tiny sense of belonging, of not sticking out too far above the crowd.

“If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be” – Maya Angelou

Why do you lock your true self into a chest, and bury it on the desert island?

• You are both terrified and amazed by the colors of your soul.
• You have this push-pull going on.
• You have a brilliant idea, then you mentally tear it apart.
• You have a dream you passionately want to go after, then you analyze it to death, with fears of failure and not being worthy.
• You have a door of opportunity open in front of you, and you feel an intense pull to go through it, but you listen to all of the naysayers and walk past it with dragging feet.

Self-Acceptance, means that you believe in yourself.  This is risk at its highest form, because what if you are not enough?  This is where the loving the imperfect self comes in.  No one is perfect, and so by this reality, you will fail sometimes.  And that has to be okay.

“I heard a voice that told me I’m essential.  How all my fears are limiting my potential.  Said it’s time to step into the light and use every bit of power I have inside” – Indea Erie

Alice Through the Looking Glass, in Wonderland and Underground, was always looking for adventures.  She didn’t have time for “normal”.  She was way beyond that!

Alice didn’t like following the rules of “normal” behavior.  It takes a lot of courage to go out on adventures.  Adventures bring out parts of you that you didn’t know were there.  It also shows you parts of you, that you may not like.  Adventures teach you to look at things differently.  Backwards, upside down, and sideways.  Adventures teach you about who you are.

“Who in the world am I?  Ah, that’s the puzzle that is only yours to solve.”

“I knew who I was this morning, but I have changed a few times since then” – Alice in Wonderland

The more that you take these adventures and learn about yourself, the curiousier it gets.  This is because like the looking glass adventure, everything is opposite of what you would think.  In taking the risk and going on the adventure, what you find is more freedom to be your imperfect self.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change” – Brene Brown

How does that work?  By being curious, and having self-acceptance that you are imperfect, you start to allow yourself the space to experiment.  You start trying new things.  You mix up the parts and create something new, different and wonderful.  The more you open to change, the easier it becomes to let go of certainty.

Self-acceptance means that you no longer become that mean, vindictive, cruel person in your mind to yourself. You are no longer at war with who you really are.  You are made up of strength and struggle; of giving and receiving; of being first to do something with no guarantee that it will be returned to you, or that you will be successful in the doing of it.

It is this strong sense of belonging, of self-acceptance, of self-love, that enables you to have the courage to live an imperfect life as your true self.  Don’t fear failure.  Take ownership of who you are and be proud of it.  Take chances, like they are lucky gold tickets, because they are.  No matter what, do not stop being the weird, crazy person that you are meant to be.

Transformation Is the Dance Of Life

Love Is The Key That Frees You From Your Cage

Updated 11/14/2021

“We can only be kept in the cages we refuse to see” – Stefan Molyneux

What cages have you freed yourself from, or are working on freeing yourself from?

These cages have been created from stories that we tell ourselves. Stories of our unworthiness and insecurities.

“The stories we tell ourselves shape our lives.  They shape who we believe we are, and this belief translates into who we become.”  – John Assaraf

Maybe you have totally different cages locked away in the darkness than I talk about below. What I do know, is that we all have cages, and we all have the keys to unlock them.

For many years I kept the real me hidden and locked away. I wanted people to love me, so I hid away all of the insecurities and made a strong mask to wear in public.

I was a daughter to a wonderful mom that I loved, but was always afraid that some day she wouldn’t love me, because I had not been the perfect daughter. This was my own story, not hers.

I am a sister, who has been more a mother to my younger sisters and brother, than a sister. I love them all dearly and wanted to protect them from all dangers, but I failed them. This was my own story, not theirs.

I worked myself up the corporate ladder of a major bank, becoming a “master” at mortgage finance and earning the title of Director. Yet at the same time, I was hiding away the insecurity of being found out to be a fraud. I was a high school drop out without a college degree. This was my story, and I release it, and release it, and release it (lack of formal education is a sticky belief for me).

I am a wife to my true love, my best friend, my partner. Through 48 years we have seen good times and bad. We have four wonderful children, and now have 14 grandchildren, and four great grandchildren. Many times I smiled on the outside and was dying on the inside, because I didn’t know how to communicate my own needs. So instead, became a martyr for everyone else’s. This was my story, not theirs.

I am a student of life. I am confident and unsure. I am terrified and excited. I am a young girl and an old woman. I wish on stars and dream dreams. I have been through many transformations, walking through the valley of fire and shadows. I have stepped off the edges of cliffs so I could soar across chasms. I have climbed up steep mountains, only to ride the rushing rivers back down into the valley.

I am just like you. A woman of many talents, conflicting emotions, and insecurities. I have set myself free from many of the stories I told myself. because the stories themselves were just cages to keep me contained. There are more cages that await, more doors to be opened. I have a handful of keys to the cages, and I am continuing to transform every time I use a new one.

“People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages.”– Alain De Bottom 

Have you started rattling the bars of your cage?  It starts with learning to love all of the parts of yourself.  Letting go of the “I’m a Victim story”; the “The Villain story (either you or someone else)”; the “I am Helpless story”.  It’s about noting what you are really feeling; how you are acting or reacting; and instead of creating some drama around it with you as the tragic victim, get back to the facts before your creative editing.

I have set myself free from the cages I created with the above false stories – the cage of perfection; the cage of protecting others from life experiences; and the cage of not having a degree; all of which were locked inside the larger cage of “I am not worthy” and so must earn your love and respect with every step, knowing that nothing I do can satiate that kind of thinking.

I love myself as I am today, perfectly imperfect. And, I love myself for who I am transforming into.

“I believe we write our own stories, and each time we think we know the end – we don’t.  Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and in peace that comes from knowing that you just can’t know it all.  You know, life’s funny that way.  Once you let go of the wheel, you  might end up right where you belong.” – quote bites.com

What Would Your Life Look Like, If I Gave You The Key To Unlock Your Full Potential?

Have you ever said, “I would be happier if .., fill in the blank ____________ (my spouse was …,, my job was…, my weight was ? lbs. less?  etc…)”  I am going to use my weight as the example, but you can substitute anything in your life, that is currently not bringing you into a state of joy.  As you read through this, you can just adapt the process around your job, your spouse, your family, your finances, etc…

Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket  – Unknown

This includes the pocket of your self saboteur.  Have you ever counted calories?  Have you counted steps?  Weighed yourself every day to see if you released a single pound?   I know I have.  I have a Fitbit and I watch the numbers go up until I reach that 10,000 step mark.  I worry over what I am eating and snacking on.  What I recently discovered about this, is I am in fact disempowering myself.

Old ways won’t open new doors.  – unknown

A new way of saying Einstein’s definition of insanity.  I am “trying” over and over again to have better control, so that I can become healthier.  Old ways that didn’t work the first time.  It is sort of like banging my head against the door, hoping this time it will open for me.  I keep “trying” to get myself out of the obesity designation.  What I am in fact doing, is disempowering myself from being successful.  I am empowering my view of my weight, to have complete control of my eating and exercise habits, setting myself up for self sabotage.  I have put the keys to my happiness in the pocket of my self saboteur.

Find a heart that will love you at your worst and arms that will hold you at your weakest.  – Unknown

That heart and those arms need to be yours, not someone else’s.  When something isn’t working, then study, research, read and listen.  It never has failed me that someone will say something that triggers my mind to go down a rabbit hole and come up with something that my heart and soul have been trying to communicate with me.

Dear Destiny,  I am ready to listen now.  – unknown

When I walk every day, I listen to podcasts.  I have Tony Robbins, TED Talks, a NPR show called Scratch, EWomen’s Network, Success Magazine, and several others that I listen to.  I listen to whatever is next on the list.  This past week, I pieced something together from several different podcasts that became an “aha” moment. I needed to listen to my inner genius.  Those who listen to their inner genius often end up changing their world.  So I asked myself, “What is it still possible for me to do?”  Notice that I said do, not try.

I have been trying to discover through hits and misses what is contributing to the weight I have, and what I might do to be more successful in releasing the weight.  It isn’t as simple as diet and exercise.  What I received this week was a couple of keys.

Key #1 – Don’t try.  Trying doesn’t last long.  Trying is one of those words that sounds positive, but doesn’t have a high energy vibration to it.  Falling back to the famous Yoda quote – “Don’t try, Do or don’t do.”  Instead the key that fits into the transformation door, is to commit myself to “mastery” of releasing weight and becoming healthy.  Mastery is hard work.  You have to learn something completely.  To take it apart and put it back together again.  To understand the purpose and reason for every single part, and the actions it plays.  It takes time.  But when you become a master at something, it doesn’t just change you, it transforms you.

Mastery reflects understanding diet and nutrition, not generally, but as it applies to my individual DNA and my physical body.  It reflects understanding how the feelings I am feeling each day (my moods, and memories) enter into the equation.  It is about paying attention to my instincts or gut reactions to the pain and pleasure that is happening to me moment by moment.  And lastly it included my thinking or my intellect.

There are powers inside of you which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everything you ever dreamed or imagined you could become.    – Orison Swett Marsden

Key #2 – Realize that my mind plays this game of chaos.  I can tell that my weight is affecting my general health.  I am exhausted.  I have digestive issues among other things happening.

But my mind likes the chaos it understands, better than the chaos it doesn’t know.  It started from fear.  It said it was trying to protect me from unwanted attention.  It told me that I didn’t want to be like my mom, and hurt people that I loved.

So add in a few pounds, plus a few more.  Still getting attention, don’t worry, just add a few more pounds.  My own subconscious good intentions will kill me.  I needed to forgive myself, and let go of the need for protection.

Forgiveness is not something we do for other people.  It’s something we do for ourselves to move on.   – unknown

Key #3 – I am changing the interior landscape a little each day.  I really never practiced self care.  It was always care for everyone else first, and I got whatever was left over. 

So it is like going from the hard dry desert to a beautiful flower garden with a stream flowing through the middle.  I had to dig up the soil.  I had to put in some fertilizer to bring it up to optimal healthy soil that would support the growth of the flower garden. 

I then planted seeds.  I watered them.  I weeded out what doesn’t belong or bring me joy.  I brought in some nice chairs to sit in.  A small table to put a nice glass of lavender lemonade on.  I transformed the desert of “not taking care of myself”, into a place that empowers me to do self care.

Your success and happiness lies in you.  Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.    – Helen Keller

 Key #4 – Gratitude.  Every day I am finding things about my body, my health, the way I am taking better care of me – ways I can be grateful that I have this opportunity to bring back vibrant health to me.  Gratitude pays homage and honors the steps I am taking.

It says that while I am not where I want to be, I am making progress.

It says that I don’t have to beat myself up on the days I fall short of 10,000 steps, or have the strawberry shortcake for dessert.  It says that I will continue to be committed to bringing my body into a completely healthy state.  The “friend” needs to be “you”.  Self Love.

I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me, and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.   – Abraham Lincoln

If you find yourself spending a lot of time and money, and not making any progress, you are in fact, stuck in neutral.  It feels like you are in drive, because you are counting calories, you are weighing in, you are restricting your food intake, but you are in fact stuck in neutral. This is evident when day after day, no weight is released. Your subconscious mind has you stuck in the chaos you know.  You are blindfolded as to what is really happening.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach.  The world you desire can be won.  It exists  . . . it is real . . .  it is possible . . . it’s yours.    – Any Rand

When you are not reaching your goals, you need to stop.  Take a deep breath and look at what you are doing. First look to gratitude to where you are on the map.  Then look to the patterns of the familiar chaos – what is eating up your time, energy, money, contributing to your frustrations?  What story are you buying into that creates the “I am too tired” to walk tonight?”  What food cravings around caffeine, sugar, processed foods, fast foods are you having because you are bored or stressed out?  These stories are your self sabotaging patterns.  If you can start to recognize them, then you have the potential to transform them.

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential…, these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.    – Confucius

When you have mapped out where you are, then you are ready to put the car back into drive and put your foot on the gas.  You do this by getting deeper into personal mastery.  The neutral gear is calling your attention to some part of the chaos, that is not working for you any longer.  Something that needs to be down shifted, released and/or transformed.  Once you have gotten this new piece of knowledge into your head, drawn it down into your heart to become wisdom, then you can release your passion to fuel your motivation.  You can realize your expanded potential and unlock a new door in your life of transformation.

You have always possessed the keys of transformation.  The divine puts the doors of opportunity in front of you, over and over again.  It is up to you to put the key in the lock, and go through the door. When you do that you discover untold potential and mastery within yourself.  You have more natural potential than you could use in 100 lifetimes.  Don’t let this life go by, not even using a small fraction of it.

Questions provide the key to unlocking your unlimited potential.   – Tony Robbin

Leave Fear Behind You, Face Everything And Rejoice

Women who run with wolves have discovered something about themselves, that allows them to leave behind the fear that is expressed because of going outside the comfort zone.  See beauty in being able to walk alone or with the pack.  Because you are unafraid, you may be called names by those who will fear you.  Labels like defiant, incorrigible, impossible, wild and untamed by society.  Wear these labels with pride.

When you live with fear, you will always be “Finding-Excuses-And-Reasons” (F.E.A.R.)why you are not living the life you are yearning for. Why do you experience this type of fear? It comes from a lack of self love, self trust, and self care.

You don’t think that you have the courage; that you don’t deserve it; that you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  You have bought into being small.  Bought into not taking up a lot of space.  Bought into being unworthy.  It is not your true nature.  It is not who you are deep in your heart.  It is not who you are yearning to be.  Do not become an endangered species.  Do not muffle your soul for the sake of others.

For women who run with wolves, you have discovered S.E.L.F. which stands for Sacred-Empowered-Liberated-Self Care

She sees herself as a Sacred being

She sees herself as an Empowered being

She sees herself as a Liberated being

She sees herself as a Fearless being.

•  She runs with a vast community of souls, who hold and support her.
• She knows as a sacred being she is never, ever, truly alone. 
• She is honored as a wisdom keeper, an empowered being that has grounded herself into the earth. Her roots run deep into the earth and support the work she does in the world.
• She knows that she is a liberated woman who came to this earth to free those who have become shackled to the stories of not being good enough, pretty enough, or worthwhile.
• She is fearless because for her the word fear is a word of high integrity, because for her it means Face-Everything-And-Rejoice (a transformed definition of fear).

Her purpose is to remind others of their own sacred agreements they came here to fulfill. Of the love they have for each other. To free them from their self made chains and fulfill their own purpose in being here.

She knows that she can be grateful for each fear that is faced down and transformed into something wonderful. She is rejoicing because she is working with others out in the world to build a bridge to shift our world from the challenges we see happening today, into a place of unity, love and trust.

If you can change your definition of the word fear, you can change your world.

To fearless women, I am honored to be your sister.

Below is a copy of my poem which expresses these thoughts.

The wolf howls at the moon, not out of loneliness,
As he knows he is one with the universe.
He howls out of gratitude to be a member of the pack.

He remembers those he has traveled with in past lives, 
He sees those he is traveling with again.
He rejoices in his vast community of souls, knowing that he is truly never alone.

The great spirit has honored the wolf with a voice that sings out in the darkness.
He honors the great spirit by singing to us,
“Do not be afraid, for you are not alone”
“I am here, and I remember you even if you have forgotten”.

Like the wolf I sing out to you, through my words on a page I say,
“I remember you, for we have traveled together before.”
I honor you that you have come again to do the great work before us.

Call out together with me as we gather our relatives that have forgotten their purpose.
Call to their minds our sacred agreement to meet at this time and place.
Whisper to them of the great love we have for each other and their hearts will remember.

Gather around as we build the bridge of knowledge and understanding.
This bridge will unite all peoples together in love
This bridge is shifting our world into a new age of unity, love and trust.

We are one,
One love, I love us
One trust, I trust us,
I honor our sacred agreements, I am here.

Face the fears that are keeping you locked out of your destiny. Unlock your cages and use those divine gifts with purpose to not only shift and change your world, but the entire world. Come and renew yourself. Find your voice and howl at the moon!

We Are Victorious Over Fear

We crash.  We burn, and we get back up stronger, more resilient, and more determined than ever before.  We are not victims, we are victorious.  

– Garrett Paknis

With each step we add something to our life or, we release something out of our life.  That is how change and transformation works.  It is taking that step.  That step towards our dreams.  We don’t look behind us and waste our energy in feeding our fears.  We just keep taking another step.  Each thing that we release out of our life is something that no longer brings us joy.  It no longer serves us.  It might be that it is something that we have outgrown.  Or it may be made up of disappointments.  Something that feels like a failure or setback.  We take out the lesson we needed and we release the rest.  It is all the parts of the illusion that we are burning away.  Those so called losses do not define who you are in reality.   Only in fears illusion do they hold any power. 

There is no illusion greater than fear. 

– Lao Tzu

When we don’t release the illusions we can become frustrated with our life.  Frustration is like damming up the river.  It tries to keep flowing, but it gets stopped by the dam.   At some point the water rises up to the top of the dam.  Then it starts to trickle over.  It isn’t yet free flowing.  We start to realize that the dam is the problem.  It is at this point of recognition, that we can at last redirect the energy of the river, to burn away the illusion of the dam, and begin to flow freely again to the sea. When your passion and your purpose are greater than your fears and excuses, you will find a way.

Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving; we get stronger and more resilient.

 – Dr Steve Maraboli

When we can at last see through the illusion of fear, we begin to get bold enough to use our voice to speak our truth.  We can be brave enough to listen to the voice of our heart, to our intuition, our souls voice.  And we can be strong enough to finally live our life’s purpose with full out passion.  We are willing to be vulnerable enough, to be split open and let all our insides spill out onto the table.  We are strong enough to be who we really are.  To fully expose the parts of us that we had hidden away from fear of being seen.  The phrase “do not be afraid” is written in the bible 365 times.  A daily reminder to be fearless.  So start everyday with this reminder to be fearless, breathing in the faith of walking with courage and fulfilling your divine purpose..

Fear is always triggered by creativity, because creativity asks you to enter into realms of uncertain outcome, and fear hates uncertain outcome.  This is nothing to be ashamed of, it is, however, something to be dealt with.

 – Elizabeth Gilbert

It is not letting our dreams be deferred to “Someday Isle”.  Someday I will have the time; someday I will have the money; someday when the kids are grown and through college.  Instead we trace our stories to their roots.  We liberate our soul to fulfill our dreams.  It isn’t about “what happened to me” (see my pain and feel sorry for me), it is what we choose to do with life’s experiences.  It is about look at who I have become, what I “chose” to become.  What treasure we found within the experience, the hidden gem.  It is about how it has exposed the better me that was hiding inside of it.

The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun.  It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and the rains and scorching sun.

 – Napoleon Hill

It is pausing as you inhale the breath. To pause listening to the question in the space of the pause.  To hearing the answer with the exhalation of the breath.  There in that space, is the creative spirit.  It is waiting to take you by the hand.  To walk the road of fulfillment of the dream.  There in that space is the taste of possibilities.  It is how that creativity bubbles to the top when we take the time to just breathe and listen.

We get a glimpse in that space of where we are heading.  It invites us to plunge into the river and flow to the sea.  To learn to dance down life’s road.  Be curious, make great discoveries.  Observe how the unknown can become joyful. 

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