“A pivot is a change in strategy without a change in vision” – Eric Ries
All around the world people make plans. They set goals. They build on their dreams. Every year brings you some of the same goals and maybe this year you have a few new ones. For the majority of us that is as good as it gets. Why?
Because sometime in January or February or maybe even March your willpower begins to fade out. You slow down. You procrastinate and put it off for next month (this is me – lol). You tell yourself what’s the hurry? I have all year to get this done.
What if this year you do something unique? What if you pivot instead?
“You can only succeed. You cannot fail. Failure is impossible …, an illusion…, Nothing. Everything moves the human story…, forward. Everything advances you on your journey” – Neal Donald Walsh
Thinking back to secondary education (Jr. High, High School or College) did you get your assignments done when they were assigned or when they were due? How many late nights cram sessions did you have to do to finish a paper that you had weeks to complete but waited until the last minute?
The majority of us were late night crammers. And that is one of the things that leads us to fail in our dreams. resolutions, goals, and plans. Not fail as in we can’t do it but fail as in, we decide to quit trying to do it.
When you make your goals with the intention of accomplishing them within 12 months, you will delude yourself that you have plenty of time until there isn’t any time, and then you will quit. Why?
You are out of integrity with your life
Because unlike school when you would have failed a class and then been grounded by a parent, you are only lying to yourself.
The problem with lying to yourself though, is that you are then out of integrity with yourself, and it plays out in your life over and over again. Every time you say you are going to do something, that negative voice will say – “yeah right – you know that you are not really going to accomplish this, so why waste any time or effort in pretending.”
“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise, why else even be here” – Steve Jobs
This year what if instead of a 1-year plan, why don’t you do something different? Do a weekly plan. You choose how many weeks you want to plan for. 12 weeks is sufficient to work in a new positive habit. For most goals it gives you enough time to plan out how to accomplish it. If the goal needs more than 12 weeks such as education, plan out major steps that can be accomplished within 12 weeks.
Get out your pencil and three pieces of paper for this exercise. I want you to limit yourself to three goals. Write one goal on each sheet of paper.
“How does the WHY relation to the vision” – Simon Sinek
Now write down some steps that would need to happen in order for you to accomplish your goal. As an example, you might want to go back to school to get a degree for a change in your career or to help you advance further in your degree. Since this is probably more than 1 year, plan out 3 steps that can be accomplished within the chosen number of weeks.
If it isn’t pulling you to complete it, it’s not really your goal. Keep digging until you reach that place where the dream hooks you. Then do the following step.
Only list three steps that can be accomplished within the chosen timeframe. Your goals should always be driven to your life purpose. To move forward into who you are meant to be, who you are becoming. Otherwise, it is just wasting your time, effort and money.
Always check in with our inner guidance system and follow where that is leading us. There will always be some positive emotions, some connection – it will lead us if we get quiet and listen and feel for it.
“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle” – Steve Jobs
For a budget goal, you could plan out goals for each pay period. Weekly, biweekly, monthly – according to the time frame your paychecks arrive.
Continue in a similar manner for your third goal. What is so cool about this pivot is that you can play with it to see what number of weeks works for you. The budget goal for example will continue all year long. You will have accomplishments for each time period that you are working through. Celebrate each milestone – it is what fuels you to the next milestone and gets you over the disappointments when life happens and creates havoc in accomplishing our dreams.
“If the challenge we face doesn’t scare us, then it’s probably not that important” – Simon Sinek
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. So, take a second and think about what I wrote up above. Did you take out paper and pencil or did you just read through it thinking that you would come back later and do it?
What I also know about myself is that if someone takes the time to work with me through the material, I get some action and forward momentum started. I will answer the questions and get my brain thinking and planning. So, take this small first step for 2020 and let’s create something personally designed just for you!
Commit to your dreams. Travel down a clear path to your date with destiny.
“If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough” – Unknown
It takes determination when you are knocked down to get back up, but it is only when we have been knocked down that courage enters. It takes courage to face the failure. It takes courage to try it one more time. It takes courage to find failure once more in your face daring you to try again.
Is it failure or part of the divine plan?
In life many things don’t happen the way we plan them. In a lot of cases what seems like failure is actually part of the divine plan. Years ago I walked away from a pretty secure job because I was promised the opportunity for advancement at another company. I took on the responsibility of completing a manual of guidelines for the new company because the person they had hired for it wasn’t getting it done. I had never written anything before other than papers for school. I figured that I could simply expand that knowledge into something new and I did.
Then shortly afterwards the market turned and I was laid off. Because the market had slowed down in Southern California, there weren’t any jobs available and we ended up having to relocate back to the Seattle area for me to find employment. I had berated myself for leaving the previous company; for believing the owner of that new company; for the market turndown. I had beat myself up pretty badly.
An interesting thing happened in Seattle. The Savings and Loan I was hired to work for hired me in the advanced position I wanted. The S&L needed a servicing manual and I had the experience to write it. I was also hired to teach a course for loan processing and underwriting at South Seattle Community College and Renton Voc-Tech. All things I wouldn’t have had the courage or opportunity to reach for if I hadn’t made that job change back in California.
I believe it was all part of divine planning. Can you think of such examples in your own life? Times when what you planned shifted and changed into what you thought was failure, but was actually part of the plan all along?
Of Caterpillars and leaps of faith
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” – Eleanor Roosevelt
It is in seeing the beauty of your dreams that you are able to get back up after you have failed. Finding your life purpose and then bringing it out into the world isn’t an easy journey. While your soul will not give up, your mind is constantly entreating you to give up. Seek the peace of sleep. Take it easy.
“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for” – Oprah
It’s a constant tug of war between mind and spirit. When your soul is inspired it sets you on fire. You find yourself doing things you never would have dreamed it was possible to do. Every negative thought your mind produces is shot down. Like the caterpillar you have the push to transform beyond any understanding.
“Don’t spend time beating on a wall hoping to transform it into a door” – Coco Chanel
Like the caterpillar you learn new skills, building a space in which to transform. That is what goals and dreams are all about – change and transformation.
You have this yearning to be something different from what you are currently being. You have these feelings that you can’t really put words to. You just know that you have to do it. Can you imagine the caterpillar building a chrysalis and then standing back and judging it as not being good enough? That the caterpillar would just turn away and forget the whole transformation thing?
The caterpillar doesn’t care that he has never built anything before. He doesn’t care if it isn’t the perfect shape, or on the wrong branch. He doesn’t care if the wind is blowing it sideways and maybe today isn’t the best day to complete it. He is so involved, that he has gone so far out of his comfort zone, it isn’t even in the same town or state.
He is so involved with using these skills – skills that he didn’t even know he was capable of learning, that he is taking a huge leap of faith. A leap of faith that what he has built, is what it is supposed to look like and feel like. He trusts his divine inner guidance and forges ahead. He trusts that what he is becoming will allow him to transform his outer being in such a way that he will fly.
Where does such trust come from?
You know down deep in your heart and soul that you will never regret giving everything you have to accomplish your dreams. You know that giving your best effort and then digging down to bring up that tiny bit of extra you didn’t know you were capable of will be worth the cost. How do you know this?
“The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Because you see everywhere examples of where other people have done just that. They worked stuff out, no matter the cost. It’s not a one size fits all world. It’s through trial and error that we work stuff out. You have a secret weapon. You figured out that in every single change, rather than judging it as good or bad, you see the possibilities rather than the problem.
That’s what the loss of a job in Southern California and the wonderful opportunities that opened up in Seattle taught me. In every single change, there is a long hallway. A hallway with all of these doors of possibility open and inviting you to step through. That is where is courage comes into play – stepping through the door and into the possibilities.
“Have goals, Chase dreams, but do not let your Happiness depend on their achievement” – Manoj Arora
There is a promise today that we can achieve happiness from living a better life. It might be taking certain herbs, oils or medications. The promise of living a vegan, vegetarian, paleo lifestyle, that somehow having a special diet will make us feel happier. Detoxing from all electronics. Living a simple lifestyle, purging our homes of all the material things others think make them happier. They all promise to somehow give us more energy and therefore more happiness.
You might still buy into that vision of being super woman – the woman that can balance raising children, maintain a pristine “Better Homes & Garden” home, successfully climb the corporate ladder, and still wear the sexy lingerie every night. Who can be the soccer mom, volunteer at school. and bake homemade cookies for the classroom. That mom who schedules and drives to every doctor appointment, after school activity, and social event.
“Sweetheart, marry your goals. Remain committed to success and be loyal to your dreams. It’s okay to choose yourself” – r.h. Sin
Focus on what matters
You are so busy chasing perfection, that happiness when it briefly touches you, it is lost as a momentary endorphin high. With each hit, we immediately start seeking the next one.
“Don’t chase your dreams . . , Instead . . , Hunt your goals” – Preeya
Instead of moving immediately to the next thing on your list, sit on the feelings of happiness. Notice those moments of being grateful, relaxed, and appreciated that come from being happy. Feel it completely. Focus on the joy.
Like taking that first bite of your favorite food, savor the feeling from the top of your body down to your toes. Taking the time to fully experience happiness converts it from a temporary endorphin high to making it a lasting change in your mind and mood.
“She loves – the smell of coffee; blooming roses; and new beginnings” – Unknown
There is this balance of being happy from when you get a raise, and the happiness of completing a complex long term goal. The first one lifts your mood (an endorphin high) – like a favorite song that makes you want to sing and dance. The second one is deeply fulfilling because it was difficult to achieve. The amount of happiness in your life is dependent on the quality of your thoughts.
The question to ask yourself is “what is your definition” of a life well lived? All you will get from chasing perfection is exhaustion. Get curious about what makes you happy? Your current circumstances have nothing to do with your current state of happiness or lack thereof. Ask yourself where your passion comes from? What gives you joy?
“Do not chase another human being. Instead, chase your curiosity. Chase your development and your goals. Chase your passion. Strive to work for something bigger than yourself, and instead of trying to convince someone that you fit within their world – build your own” – Bianca Sparacino
It’s the little things that create a lasting happiness.
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you” – Deepak Chopra
Make your own list of little things that make you happy and include those things with every goal you create. You will find it easier to start each new goal and to build and keep momentum in accomplishing each goal. It’s vitally important to remember that the goals you set are not a final destination.
“There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that comes from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence” – Deepak Chopra
Goals, dreams and visions are a part of the journey, not your final destination. The combination of the quality of goals you set for yourself and how they expand your comfort zone creates who you are becoming. It is the self knowledge that each experience reveals to you that tells you where you are on your journey of self knowledge. It is walking in the direction of your life’s purpose that brings in lasting happiness.
I invite you to join us on February 1st for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement.
Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
Instead of just thinking “I could do this” come and find out just how much you can do, confront your deepest fears. Stop playing small. Shine out in all of your brilliance. Give yourself permission to be all that you can be in 2020.
“If you can tune into your purpose and really align with it, setting goals so that your vision is an expression of that purpose, then life flows much more easily.” – Jack Canfield
There is a dream that you had as a child. It was a persistent dream. It was a longing that would not be denied. Maybe you went for it and failed. Or maybe you were too scared to even try. Or maybe you had the “one hit wonder” and then faded away, too afraid that you could never repeat or even surmount the dream. That dream contained your purpose. How it was fulfilled was your vision of what it could be.
“Focus on your own happiness, focus on your own life, focus on your own vision.”– GreatestQuotes.net
My dream was to write.
I did well in school. I loved learning. I would read 6-7 books a week. I would check out the maximum number of books every week and read them all. My family was always moving somewhere new. Until my Freshman year in high school I didn’t attend any complete grade in one school. So books were my best friends and my escape. And every single book I read, I would say to myself, “I could write this book. Maybe even write it better than the author did.”
“Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you are to your comfort zone.” – Peerhustle.com
The problem was while I told myself that, the doing of the actual writing was outside of my comfort zone and I was terrified that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was. The fact that I got straight A’s and was in honors didn’t overcome the fears. In fact it magnified them. In my mind I was sitting on the pedestal and if I actually tried to write a book, I would topple off the pedestal and be subject to ridicule.
“Don’t try to overhaul your life overnight. Instead, focus on making one small change at a time. Over time, those small changes will add up to big transformation. Don’t give up!” – emilysquotes.com
So I dreamed of writing year after year and fed my purpose a starvation diet of book after book that someone else who was smarter and braver wrote while I just dreamed about it. I believe that God plants your purpose inside of you. It never goes away. I believe that door after door of opportunity comes you way to express it to its full potential. I believe that the ups and downs of life itself are generated in such a way to try to coax you or force you to take up your dream and live it.
“A vision of a desired future allows you to engage and identify immediately in your focus with an improved condition. It changes what you perceive and how you perform – NOW. It’s not about achieving something in time. It’s rather about the quality of choices you are making in this moment – what you choose to perceive, feel, and do. It’s about getting the most out of your experience.”– David Allen
I believe that at least one of the New Year’s Resolutions or goals that you set – are a part of your life purpose.
When my nephew was murdered I was forced through the door of writing. I didn’t really understand what was happening at first. By the time I realized that I had committed myself to writing LemonadeMakers I had literally changed my world. All my goals before that were about changing myself to make other people happy. Lose weight and be healthy for my family. Climb the corporate ladder so that my family would be secure financially, and so on.
“Focus on where you want to go instead of the obstacles in your path. Drive and persistence will take you to your desired destination.”– slideshare.net
Now all of a sudden, the question that I was asking was,
“Who do I need to be to make LemonadeMakers be what it is supposed to be? What do I need to learn? What habits do I need to bring into my life? Who can help me?”
It is such a unique space of focus away from fear of not being loved if I wasn’t giving all of me to my family or job – to the space of how can I help others find this place seeing “what else is possible”? It is kind of funny when I finally understood that giving all of me to my family or job was from fear and not love. And now I am finally living most of my time from love and not fear. Fear still shows up, disguised as self sabotage. Then fear is shown to the door, when once again I recognize it for what it is.
Somewhere in your goals that you are setting for 2020 is a part of your life purpose.
It is the thing that you dream about when your mind wanders. What is it that you do, that is similar to my inside my head comment when I was reading a good book. What is your version of a “I could do this”? Think about the thing that pops into your head, that is immediately discounted by your negative self talk. There is something there to explore and understand more fully.
That “thing” will keep showing up month after month, year after year, decade after decade. That idea or concept will not leave you – it can’t. It will keep haunting you, until you are expressing it to its fullest potential or you have died with the dream still unfulfilled within you. So take a leap of faith. Be brave.
We are going to explore some ideas outside of the box on how to start living our dreams. We are going to dig into our goals and expose the root systems to see how they connect to our life purpose. It is more than a dream board. It is more than writing the dream out on paper. It is more than a calendar full of appointments and meetings and blocking out time to implement what needs to be done and when you will do it. It is more than a single leap of faith or five baby sets of doing something.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light. . , that most frightens us. . , ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ . . , who are you not to be?. . , Your playing small does not serve the world . . , We are all meant to shine. . , as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson
I invite you to join us on February 1st for a live workshop on how to make 2020 the year of achievement. Get clear on what you want and how to obtain it. If your 2020 goals are already stalling, get recharged and refocused. Learn how to pivot to success.
Just click below to get started.
During the call you will have the opportunity to create, find a pivot or two, reimagine and refuel your life dreams.
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material I get some action and forward momentum started. So take this small first step for 2020 and lets create something personally designed just for you!
Instead of just thinking “I could do this” come and find out just how much you can do, confront your deepest fears. Stop playing small. Shine out in all of your brilliance. Give yourself permission to be all that you can be in 2020.
They say that we all have at least one book inside of us. It could be a biography; a cookbook; gardening; crafts; fiction or nonfiction. You could write science fiction, mystery, comedy, drama and so on. You might have overcome tragedy and write about how you did it. All kinds of ideas can come creeping inside of your head on what you would want to pass on to the next generation. Lessons learns that can help others live a happier more fulfilled life.
Your entire life journey ultimately consists of the steps you are taking at this very moment – S. Williams
You might look at the goal of writing a book and shrink back. It’s going to take a lot of time and sacrifice to write. It might not be, no – it definitely won’t be any good. The publishers will reject it and then I will have wasted all of that time and effort. You might come up with a million reasons and excuses on why not – but what if you did it for the one right reason? What reason?
You have a story to tell
What if this year is different and you choose to tell it? How could you make it happen? How do you make any kind of big hairy audacious goal happen? The same way the joke says that you eat an elephant – one bite at a time.
A pivot to me is an about movement. A turning point. A radical way of viewing something that expands your universe as well as your personal space. It is the realization that we are all the same, yet at the same time you have the ability to be your own unique person. It is the understanding that one size does not fit all, and you have the gift of being able to alter any situation into one that does fit the one of a kind “YOU”.
Your vision helps you focus on your dreams – Chris D Costello
So, what is your big dream?
The typical answers are time and money. You might have one but not the other. But that isn’t really what is holding you back. Fear is what does it.
Chase one rabbit at a time
There is a proverb that says that if you chase two rabbits, you won’t catch either one. Maybe one of the issues with New Year’s Resolutions is that we are all chasing more than one rabbit?
That’s what I love about the idea of changing the time frame from a yearly resolution to a smaller time frame. You can chase one rabbit at a time.
So, this year try something new. Take your goal, your big hairy audacious goal, and put it into bite size chunks.
It could be one week at a time, four weeks at a time; twelve weeks at a time – you decide what works for you. Say for example you want to write a book. Start with a story line – Who is your hero? Your protagonist? What are their stories? Their dreams of life and their failures. Sketch them out – families, school, work, friends.
Focus means: F-ollow; O-ne; C-ourse; U-ntil; S-uccess – Unknown
Start with a three-hour block of time per week. You can have one three-hour block of time, or three one-hour blocks. Do what you know you can commit to.
Keep a notebook with you to write down thoughts and ideas as they occur to you. Write down your dreams the minute you wake up, because your subconscious is going to start working in your favor. It’s going to give you whole scenes to write down.
Your story is based on who you become in your lifetime. It is based on small decisions and large ones. It is based on what life throws your way and what you throw back. It is based on what you create out of what you have been given.
When I was first married my husband went to an auction with one of his friends. He came home with a box. It was a random box of stuff that they auctioned unopened. Inside was stuff you probably would have thrown away and not even given to the goodwill.
What can I make out of this?
I was mad at first that he wasted his money. Then I became determined to do something positive and useful with this box of stuff. I took apart all of the material from the clothes inside the box and created a baby quilt out of it for our first child. I still think of that today whenever life has given me a box of stuff, I think I can’t use. I take it apart and say, now what can I make out of this?
When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid – Audre Lorde
What distractions and obstacles are showing up in your life at this moment?
From a solution perspective, how do you live your life on purpose? A key ingredient is knowing when to pivot, to rethink your plan, while still accomplishing your goals. It’s a new year – you have made some plans, goals, or resolutions for this year, is it time to pivot? To rethink your plan?
Don’t waste any more time
Don’t waste any more time avoiding your dreams or thinking that they are impossible. Pick them up and make them a priority.
Need some ideas to unlock your potential? Contact us.
“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more” – Rosabeth Moss Kanter
When you are living a life on purpose, what does that really mean? You see yourself on a journey to accomplish something that is important to you. Say for example that you want to run a marathon. You set a goal of getting up every morning at 4 AM to run before you go to work.
Now you and I know that there are going to be mornings when you don’t want to get out of bed. When you promise yourself that you will just sleep in this one time and that you will run when you get home instead. But of course, when you get home, you have so many things to do that evening that you are too tired to run.
When your will power runs dry, what then?
Your actions will always, be 100% congruent with your thinking. So, if you set a goal to run a marathon, and you set up a plan of how much running you must do in order to complete the marathon – yet you find yourself not getting up at 4 AM as planned, then your thinking is not congruent with your goals.
“You have to have a lot of passion for what you are doing because it is so hard …, if you don’t, any rational person would give up” – Steve Jobs
You need a change of thinking. You need a breakthrough. A breakthrough is a natural result of a shift in your thinking. You suddenly connect past, present, future into a thought that sheds light on something you never saw before. When you have a breakthrough, it feels as though the DNA in your body has changed every single cell. Like one moment you knew who you were. Then the next moment you are someone totally new. You realize that you can never go back to what you were before.
Shifting your mindset can create opportunities that you never imagined were possible. Many times, it happens when you run out of ideas. When you hit the wall. When you finally let go and let God. It clarifies and simplifies everything. It’s like the spotlight appears out of the darkness and shows you the way home. You become more of who you are supposed to be.
Become more of who you are supposed to be
“Awareness is not a giver of solace – it is just the opposite. It is a disturber and an awakener” – Robert K Greenleaf
It is kind of funny what happens when you wake up and become aware of how simple life can really be. You are full of plans to run the marathon. You are taking action. Then something happens, and everything changes.
Your “WHY” is what creates a compelling vision for your life of purpose
How does your “WHY” relate to the vision you have created? Your “WHY” is what creates a compelling vision for your life of purpose. It will clearly capture and establish an emotional connection to keep you on purpose to your vision.
It gets you up at 4 AM excited to go running, even in the rain or when you are just too tired to even press the snooze button. Your “WHY” is the means to get you to the end result – running in that marathon.
Around 20 years ago, in the month of January, my middle son got engaged. They set the date to get married in August. I was so happy for them. I wanted to pay for their dream honeymoon. I contacted the travel agent they were working with and got all of the details. I sat down and planned it out exactly how I could pay for it.
“Hold the vision. Trust the process” – Unknown
A couple of weeks later they decided to move the date to May. I was devastated. I could see no way to pay for it in time. I decided to try something new I had learned about at a real estate seminar. I sat down and wrote out a letter expressing how happy I was that I could pay for their honeymoon. How they had the best time at their dream destination.
About two weeks later I got a phone call out of the blue about 10 acres that we owned in rural Upstate New York. The neighbors across the street wanted to purchase the property for cash and they were ready to close it immediately. We settled on the price and two weeks later I had the exact amount needed to pay for the honeymoon.
Want to learn how to do the same thing?
How did this happen? I created a compelling vision of what I wanted to do. Not how it would get done. I captured all of the emotions involved in being able to do this for my son and his new wife. It created an emotional connection to my vision. It opened doors I didn’t even know existed. Want to learn how to do the same thing?
“If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you” – Steven Jobs
I know that if someone gives me something I may or may not make the time to actually do the work. But if someone takes the time to work with me through the material, I get some action and forward momentum started. So, take this small first step for 2022. Create something personally designed just for you!
If you want some ideas and brainstorming, contact me via LemonadeMakers.
Life, like surfing, is all about wave selection and balance. Never let the best waves in life pass you by. Ride it now before it’s too late – Kiteboardstuff.com
I believe that your dreams, your true dreams, are given to you at birth. That you are designed to grow and stretch beyond what you think you are capable of.
That you were given heroes journeys to push you to accomplish the dreams. That those dreams are what make you passionate and give you a life of purpose.
I think of people who are adventurers and broke open new journeys you didn’t even know you could go on. People like the Wright Brothers, who pioneered the ability to fly. Pilots like Charles Lindbergh and Amelia Earhart who created and broke records in pioneering flight. Amelia Earhart said, “What do dreams know of boundaries?”
She had true unfaltering determination and pushed her limits. She said, “when you fail, your failure must be but a challenge to others”. I love the concept of my failures actually serving as something positive – to challenge others to succeed in their own dreams.
You don’t get into something to test the waters. You get into things to make waves – Rituals
Every year there are new tech companies that are creating a new cutting-edge business or disrupting an industry. Right now, someone is launching themselves in trying to fulfill a dream they never thought they could accomplish. The really critical thing is to not give up on your dream as being too far beyond your capability to accomplish.
When someone decided one day that they wanted to be a mountain climber, they didn’t just walk out the door and climb a mountain.
It is done step by step, day by day, year by year.
The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance – Alan Watts
You have to grow and expand your comfort zone again and again. You have to have the trust that you deserve to fulfill the dream. You work hard to get the skills that are necessary to make it happen. You learn to trust yourself and your team.
Change is part of the dance of your life. You learn to trust the dream as it shifts, changes and transforms too.
Sometimes as you are moving towards the dream, it is like driving through fog. All you can see is the next 10 feet in front of you. You travel towards what you see and as you travel, you see farther and farther. You might see what you thought was a mailbox on the side of road shift into something else as you get clearer eyesight.
This is because your brains will take what little you can see or decipher, and basically guess at what you are seeing based on past knowledge. But as you get more clarity by pursuing the dream it seems to shift its shape into something totally different.
It’s not so much that the dream is changing as it is that you are getting a better understanding about what the dream really is. Each problem that you encounter and solve changes you. Each change brings the dream into more clarity.
You begin to realize that there are 50 different ways you can achieve your dream. That your expectations around the dream are what is really changing, not the dream itself. You begin to truly imagine the possibilities of the dream.
The big waves in life might come from outside of you, but the ability to ride them comes from inside of you – from your character strengths – Fatima Doman
Over and over again you can see the concept of “as above, so below”.
The teaching of the tree of your life reaching high into the heavens and deep below the surface with the roots. Life is not lived in one direction only. If you are reaching only for the sky and neglect your roots, the imbalance in your life may create temporary success, but will inevitably fall over. And if you only feed the roots and neglect reaching for the heavens, then you won’t produce anything positive in your life.
I love the concept of “together we are an ocean”. If you are interested, I can help you learn how to create your own personalized dream map, claim your own unique goals of change and transformation; refine them into goal crushing gremlins; and finally, to truly understand what your motivation around those goals is all about.
It’s not just about writing some words on a piece of paper that says in 30 days I will . . . , It’s not just about creating a vision board with pretty pictures of our dream house, vacations, our dream body or $1M in our bank account, and then waiting for the “magic” to draw in what we want in our lives.
You need to brainstorm your way to make your dreams a reality. To map out your detours around your own unique self-sabotaging obstacles, and finally be able to fully implement your plan.
What I know for sure is that you will hit walls of failure, fatigue. At some point you will get that feeling that “Life happens to you”, when it really is happening for you. It will feel like when you are getting hit with a sledgehammer. It helps to have a few tricks up your sleeves to handle those times, so that they just create slowdowns. Just don’t give up and stop completely.
As a kid did you ever play the game Red Light/Green Light? You had someone who called out Red Light for Stop and Green Light for Go. The goal was to reach the finish line first. Let’s change that game just a little.
Imagining what we want next year is a far more powerful way to face the future than imaging what we fear – Marianne Williamson
Part of the process of planning out your dreams, goals, and visions of a better life is looking back to see what you have done so far.
Part of my own growth for this coming year is taking the pilot program I created and turning it into a teachable course. I have a card deck that I created that needs to be completed so that it can be sold to help support the cost of this website. I know what needs to be done, but there is this underlying fear that it isn’t something that you will value as my readers. I also believe that this is my year to break free of that fear.
I believe that you already know what needs to be done for your life in this year – that the questions you ask yourself, already have answers deep inside of you. That those answers have been waiting for you to be able to accept them as truths, and that timing is everything. If you are reading this then I believe that the time for you is now.
I believe that sometimes you need someone else to ask the questions that will send you searching for your own personal truths. The door is waiting for you to open it, and sometimes you just need to hear the invitation one more time. That time is now.
Part of the process of self-transformation is learning more about who you are. That person deep down inside of you.
In order to think or live differently, you need to understand your own life patterns.
When I received the scholarship application answers for the pilot program I ran, it revealed some common patterns.
The answers to the questions told me that most of us are looking to make big changes in our lives. We just need a little help to get started, and a little motivation to keep going so that fears stop us.
It’s not just about writing some words on a piece of paper. It’s not just about creating a vision board and then waiting for the “magic” to draw in what you want in your life. You need to brainstorm your way, map out the detours around the obstacles, and fully implement your plan.
What I know for sure is that you will hit walls of failure, fatigue. Life happens not to you, but for you. I know that sometimes it feels like you are getting hit with a sledgehammer. It helps to have a few tricks up your sleeves. To be able to handle them so that they just create slowdowns when the rain or snow is coming down so hard and fast, you can’t see. And maybe a few detours around washed out roads or bridges.
Just don’t give up and stop completely. In the movie Star Man with Jeff Bridges there is a line about yellow lights when they are driving down the road. “Starman: I watched you very carefully. Red light, stop; green light, go; yellow light, go very fast.”
Message me if you want to “yellow light” your own life map, or just need help with a roadblock or how to find the right detour.
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway – Earl Nightingale
On your birthday and at the beginning of each new year you take a look at both the time that has passed, and what time might yet be available to you.
I firmly believe that if God has planted something in your heart to do, then you must have the ability to do it. At the same time, you might wonder if he’s really, really sure you can do it, because it feels like it is just out of reach. You might wonder “who am I” to go after something that big. Fears creep in all sorts of shapes and sizes to prevent the dreams from being fulfilled.
My son was visiting with his wife and a little dog. They took in a rescue dog. He’s named after the pirate in the movie The Goonies – “One-Eyed Willie” because before they got him, he had lost an eye.
Willie loves cheese. My son will hold up a piece of cheese and Willie will jump up to get it. He will hold it up just out of Willie’s “normal” jumping ability and it is amazing how high that little dog will jump for his cheese. At first you think he can’t do it, but he is determined and somehow, he gets just a little bit higher and grabs his cheese. We all cheer for him.
When you are pursuing a dream, it has to be something just out of reach. Otherwise, it isn’t something that stretches you. It must be something that you aren’t sure how to do or what to do to make it happen. Like Willie, if you want it bad enough, you will find that little bit of extra strength and leap up just high enough to grab “your cheese” (dream) and pull it down into reality.
Take a moment and write this out for yourself (taken from the program DO IT SCARED with my own additions) fill in the blanks at the end of each sentence.
Every year millions of people make New Year’s Resolutions or Goals. If you have ever joined a gym, you see it happen year after year. The goal of weight loss or physical fitness of some sort is made, and the gyms are all packed in January. In February they begin losing a few people. In March a few more and by April the gym is back to what is normal attendance.
Why do we make goals each year that after a few months fall by the wayside? And what can you do to make this year different?
So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable – Christopher Reeves
I don’t think it is just a matter of being or having something you truly desire. And it isn’t just a matter of will power. Or attitude. Or a million other words that mean essentially the same thing as motivation. It is more complicated than that.
So many other little negative reasons, stop signs, or caution lights that add up to another year, in which you didn’t make any or very little progress towards your dreams.
Create a vision that is crisp and clear. A perfect clarity for both the near distance and far into the future. To build on your foundation of living a better life, whatever that means to you personally. A year where you can make progress each month and celebrate what you are accomplishing.
A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true – unexpectedlydomestic.com
In pursuit of that, take the paragraph that you wrote out above and chose three words that will create three big hairy audacious goals for this year.
Rather than just talking about how to fill in a bunch of answers and creating a goal plan with steps, I would love to invite you to contact me via messenger.
It’s not just about you writing some words on a piece of paper. It’s also about brainstorming your way, mapping out the detours around the obstacles to fully implement your plan.
What I know for sure is that we all hit walls of failure, fatigue, and flat tires. It helps us to have a few tricks up our sleeves to handle them so that they just create slowdowns and maybe a few detours, but not letting anything stop you completely.
Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe.
– Sumner Redstone
If you have been following our posts for some time, you probably know the story of why I started writing my blog. My nephew Carl was murdered in a random act of gang violence, literally walking through the park at the wrong time. As you can imagine, this took a toll on our family. In addition to grieving over his death, I was concerned about my sister making it through this tragedy. I started writing through my own grief for both of them on my personal Facebook page and it took on a life of its own.
Persistence can change failure into extraordinary achievement.
– Matt Biondi
After a couple of years I created LemonadeMakers – because when life gives you lemons, you need to make lemonade. At least I did. Every part of life is full of choices. You can choose to hide in the negative or dig for the positive. Sometimes it seems like we don’t have a choice, but we always do. It feels like we are so sunk down into the mud, that mud is all we can see. We then miss the dry ground, the doors that we could open. The chance for a different choice or response, to what is happening.
All I knew was that I had to bring something good and positive and life affirming to the table for myself and my family. Then as I cleaned the mud off of me, I saw the need to bring this to others, because we are all going through something. Maybe not as tragic or violent as my nephews murder, or maybe something even more so. So a dream was born that just maybe I could help others, inspire them to make their own brand of lemonade.
Love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort and keep on learning.
– Carol Dweck
As LemonadeMakers has grown, so have I. It has challenged me to work on my writing skills. Believe me, I have heard from many readers when the grammar is incorrect, or the misspelling made it through spellcheck. I think I have proof read something 10 times, and then I am reading an old post and see something that I missed. It has helped me grow a thicker skin, and let go of the need for perfection and so many other lessons.
Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
– Joshua J. Marine
2019 has come to an end and I wanted to talk about how you keep going, growing, and expanding your comfort zone from day to day. In 2019 my birth father died and I had to let go of the dream I have had for over 55 years – that some day he would call me and tell me how much he loved me and wanted to be a part of my life.
I have been caring for my bonus father (I don’t like the step part of any label, as though it is less than the real thing) and his health has been steadily deteriorating this year and he has been in and out of the hospital. He is starting to lose brain function and it breaks my heart.
This August we found out that my husband of 46 years has prostrate cancer. It is outside of the prostrate and so surgery isn’t an option and he is starting radiation therapy. He was a long haul truck driver, so he had to retire a little sooner than we were planning on.
The entire year I have been working month to month, each month waiting to hear if this is the month I get laid off work. I have worked for the bank for 15 years and they keep extending the lay off, and they also keep telling me it is coming.
Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of success.
– Arianna Huffington
When you add this year up, it has pretty much sucked. I am sharing this with all of you for a couple of reasons. I know that I am not the only one that had things go sideways in her life this year. I think it helps when you know you are not alone in walking and sometimes crawling through life’s storms. I also wanted to share with all of you some of the great things that happened this year, the times when the storm clouds parted and the sun shined for a brief moment reminding me that storms don’t last forever.
Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. But it is the ability to resist or use failure that often leads to greater success.
– J.K. Rowling
I stepped out and made a video about “Catching the Perfect Wave”. I tried to do a couple of webinars, which failed dramatically with no one or only a couple of people attending. I discovered my own way of doing things, rather than just following in someone else’s steps of how things should be done. I learned a lot and really expanded my comfort zone around talking and teaching with groups of people.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts.
– Winston Churchill
I created a pilot program about transforming your life. It centered on the first ring of the Transformational Life Compass, which is all about the labels we live our lives around, the archetypes in our personalities and how to see how we are sometimes our own worst enemy in self sabotaging our life. We granted scholarships to 22 people and while everyone didn’t show up and some didn’t finish – I think it was a great success. The full program will start in February and I am really excited about the life transformations it is going to create to those brave enough to come and join us.
Important achievements require a clear focus, all-out effort, and a bottomless trunk full of strategies. Plus allies in learning.
– Carol Dweck
I think that 2020 is going to be a turning point year for a lot of us. I love the thought of 20/20 vision, focus that is crisp and clear. The ability to see both near and far without fog distorting the images. So how do we take all of the lessons of 2019, the good, bad and ugly experiences and build on that foundation something even better?
The only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.
– Michelle Obama
For the start of the year, to give us all 20/20 insight and vision of what we can accomplish in this brand new year, I am designing a workshop. It will give all of us working together the tools of how to plan out the new year. What to do when the lemons start falling off the tree and hitting us in the head.
There is a military proverb that says something like “in war the battle plans only survive until the battle begins”. Every year we make goals or resolutions to make changes in our life. It might be for health, or education, a better job, working on our marriage, raising children, buying our first home and so on. Those goals or dreams seem to survive the first month or two of the year and then they morph into something unachievable and unrecognizable.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking.
– Brian Tracy
With everything going on with my job, my husband, and my dad, I could put my dreams for the next step for LemonadeMakers on hold. I could put my entire 20/20 focus on these very important personal things in my life. I could just let LemonadeMakers struggle along until my personal life got easier. I put my writing on hold for too many years. I refused to do that in 2019, and I won’t do that in 2020. I am in a marathon and there comes a point in running where if you keep going, you break through into a new level. I want to share with you how I did this in 2019 and how I plan on it in 2020.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
So stay tuned tomorrow for Part Two, to read about some of the tools I use and that you can use too – I can’t wait to share everything with you!
And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this! And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.”
– Ian Thomas
What we all need to realize, is that the lights of the passing ships are mere distractions preventing you from living your life to the fullest. They are the battles that you fight each day, but which do not lead us anywhere. When we honestly realize how asleep we are in our lives, those are the moments when you can begin to challenge the ongoing distractions and bring focus back to the stars – the lights of our true destination.
In a world deluged by irrelevant information, clarity is power.
– Yuval Noah Harari
It’s like someone has set up a circus tent in front of us. You hear the chaos of the music and the shouting barkers telling you about what’s happening in their tents. You hear the shouts and screams of people as they spin and circle and go up and down on the rides. You smell the funnel cakes and cotton candy and popcorn. Bright lights spin on the games as they encourage you to step up and try your luck. So many distractions that you can’t hear yourself think. All of the bright shiny objects promising you the moon, if you just come nearer and pay attention to them. It is a constant battle for your attention. Who wins? The one you pay attention to.
It is those who concentrate on but one thing at a time who advance in this world.
– Og Mandino
I love to ride the roller coaster. To watch the performers with the animals. To see the daring artist high up on the trapeze dancing across the wire. There are lots of fun and exciting things that we can do in our life. What we have to decide is are they part of our goals and dreams, or are they just fun distractions that keep us occupied, distracted. Are they keeping us occupied so that we are not making the changes and transformations that we need to make in order to achieve the life of our dreams? Are they fun things that we should be saying “no” to?
The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.
– Bruce Lee
Are we living our life with laser-like focus? I always think of Bruce Lee when he is in his stance about to engage with someone in battle. He doesn’t hear the sounds around him. He doesn’t see the bright shiny objects trying to distract him. He see’s only one thing – the man in front of him that he’s about to engage in battle with.
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust
Remember the movie City Slickers? Remember Curly, Jack Palance’s character? I love his famous line –
“Curly : Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly : This.
Mitch : Your finger?
Curly : One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.
Mitch : But, what is the “one thing?”
Curly : [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.”
When you are pursuit of the “that one thing”, then the rest of the world fades away. We don’t see the lights of the passing ships – we are laser focused on that star – that bright shining light in the night sky. We no longer wander through the circus seeking distractions. Now we are traveling for fulfillment. We are seeing the world with new eyes. New eyes that are open for the first time to the many doors of potential and opportunity that we missed when we were being distracted by the circus.
But I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything
– Alan Watts
That is kind of what the movie City Slickers was about – those men had gone asleep to what was important in their lives. They were living by distraction, not laser-like focus. The meaning of life can be found in many things if we are awake and looking for it. It tends to show up when we are out of our normal element. Going off on a day trip to the mountains, the beach, the desert. Away from the day to day of our life. Away from the distractions that follow us around.
Be addicted to your passions, not your distractions.
It is when we can get quiet that a connection is possible. We finally see the truths we have been avoiding with the distractions. We discover that the thread of destiny in our life, is where the laser-like focus really begins to take shape. That “thing” that we not so much latch on to, as it latches on to us. We are pushed, pulled, and prodded until finally we realize that we have no choice – we have to live the life that brings our destiny into fulfillment.
Tomorrow becomes never. No matter how small the task, take the first step now!
– Tim Ferriss
If like the character in City Slickers you don’t know what that “one thing” is, go find it. Go somewhere quiet without any of the normal distractions in your life. Sit and think about your life. Dig up all of your old dreams that you abandoned as not being possible when you failed the first time. Reconnect with your passion, the thing that liberates your energy and your spirit. The thing that inspires hope in you again. When you find it, do everything in your power to stay connected.
In life, people tend to wait for the good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out.
– Neil Strauss
Let the circus roll on by. Don’t stop for the Carmel Corn or the Hot Dog. Don’t go on the rides, or play the games, or watch the circus clowns climb in and out of the clown car. Keep your eyes on the stars, and not the passing ships lights. Clarity, focus, making things happen. That’s how you keep your eyes on your stars. Ignore the circus as it shouts to you about what it thinks is so important. Once you understand your own destiny, your secret of life, don’t let that connection go. Remember that the best view comes after the hardest climb.
You can’t change what’s going on around you, until you start changing what’s going on within you.
What is the difference between a professional or an amateur, and what does that have to do with change? Many things, but the first thing that comes to mind is this: An amateur stops with the initial change, while a professional understands that the first change is just the beginning and that many more will follow.
So an amateur might be the caterpillar that builds the chrysalis and thinks he is done. He has changed his life. While the professional takes a much longer viewpoint and realizes that he not only needs to build the chrysalis, but that there will be changes within the chrysalis and that at some point, which those transformations have been fully completed, he will need an exit strategy. Then he will need to emerge into a new world, and that this world will expect more changes and transformations out of him. Just like the butterfly, there is a new life to be fully explored. The chrysalis was just the beginning.
Life is not always fair. Sometimes you get a splinter sliding down a rainbow.
We must live a multidimensional, multifaceted life. The first viewpoint is just that – a first. There are so many angles to view life from. Part of that process of becoming a professional, is realizing that feedback or coaching shouldn’t be viewed as negative. It shouldn’t be viewed as a personal attack, even if it is delivered like one. I remember years ago reading something that really changed my life. If someone is telling you that you did something wrong, and you didn’t do it – you should still listen to what is being said. The very fact that it is being said means that somewhere in the garbage being unloaded on you, is a gold nugget. Instead of getting mad, hurt, angry and yelling at the world for being unfair – look for the gold nugget. We all have weak spots – things that we don’t see or recognize about ourselves. Finding out what those are and working to bring them into our circle of competence is what will make us successful in any endeavor.
You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.
Professionals accept failure as a learning tool. In sports such as baseball or basketball you learn that you can’t hit a homerun or have the basketball shoot through the hoop every single time you try. But you can analyze your process and use the failure as a tool towards growth and mastery of the sport. In the same way, the more consistent we are with our process of change, of transforming our lives through the failures, the better our outcomes will be.
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything.
George Bernard Shaw
Knowledge is power, because we know what to do. But the application of that knowledge is what is really important. It is the correct application of knowledge that brings true wisdom to the fore. It is this – the knowledge of why the rule is there, tells us when it should be followed and when it should be broken. It is the understanding of bringing humanity into our decisions. Of understanding when the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one, or when the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many – both can be true. It is the focus of both long term and short term results that tell you which way is the right way. It is understanding second level thinking.
Old ways won’t open new doors.
When we first meet someone, we make a judgment about the person. Based on what they look like, how they present themselves, how they talk and move – we make a superficial judgment about who they are. If you were to meet me on the street, because I dress very casually, and love to shop second hand stores and don’t live in an upscale neighborhood you might make a certain kind of judgment about me. If you heard about how poor our family was when I was growing up and that I left school my senior year and didn’t get a college degree you might make another kind of judgment about me. If you heard that I am a Director at one of the top five banks in the world, you might make another kind of judgment about me.
Don’t judge my choices if you don’t understand my reasons.
All of those would be superficial and not take into account a million things that are also true about me. Second level thinking goes beyond the superficial where most of us live our lives. Second level thinking is deep, complex, and convoluted. It is the kind of thinking required to play chess well. It looks at all of the moves that can be made on both sides of the board, and levels that up to all possible plays with each new move. It looks at each piece of knowledge; at where the decision paths converge and at when they then separate. It creates a consensus of all of the data and of all of the probabilities, then it comes to the best decision based on everything that is known and can be guessed.
One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.
It is the realization that the first answer we think of, the first thing we think is the right way to go is rarely so. It is knowing that absolutes are almost never the right answer or the right way to think. That black and white thinking keeps us in first level thinking and keeps us in the large amateur crowd. We need to be curious and consider all of the probabilities and possibilities. We need to understand that true reality is not what we want to see, but what’s true. Get curiouser and curiouser. Take the time to deep dive into exploration; into letting our minds run, and look for the inspiration to do and be different.
We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.
So it all comes down to being curious. To up-level our thinking to the second or even third level. To looking at reality – not from what we want it to be, but what it is. From making big and little changes, even micro changes – but always making new transformations in our lives.
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