Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe.
– Sumner Redstone
If you have been following our posts for some time, you probably know the story of why I started writing my blog. My nephew Carl was murdered in a random act of gang violence, literally walking through the park at the wrong time. As you can imagine, this took a toll on our family. In addition to grieving over his death, I was concerned about my sister making it through this tragedy. I started writing through my own grief for both of them on my personal Facebook page and it took on a life of its own.
Persistence can change failure into extraordinary achievement.
– Matt Biondi
After a couple of years I created LemonadeMakers – because when life gives you lemons, you need to make lemonade. At least I did. Every part of life is full of choices. You can choose to hide in the negative or dig for the positive. Sometimes it seems like we don’t have a choice, but we always do. It feels like we are so sunk down into the mud, that mud is all we can see. We then miss the dry ground, the doors that we could open. The chance for a different choice or response, to what is happening.
All I knew was that I had to bring something good and positive and life affirming to the table for myself and my family. Then as I cleaned the mud off of me, I saw the need to bring this to others, because we are all going through something. Maybe not as tragic or violent as my nephews murder, or maybe something even more so. So a dream was born that just maybe I could help others, inspire them to make their own brand of lemonade.
Love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort and keep on learning.
– Carol Dweck
As LemonadeMakers has grown, so have I. It has challenged me to work on my writing skills. Believe me, I have heard from many readers when the grammar is incorrect, or the misspelling made it through spellcheck. I think I have proof read something 10 times, and then I am reading an old post and see something that I missed. It has helped me grow a thicker skin, and let go of the need for perfection and so many other lessons.
Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
– Joshua J. Marine
2019 has come to an end and I wanted to talk about how you keep going, growing, and expanding your comfort zone from day to day. In 2019 my birth father died and I had to let go of the dream I have had for over 55 years – that some day he would call me and tell me how much he loved me and wanted to be a part of my life.
I have been caring for my bonus father (I don’t like the step part of any label, as though it is less than the real thing) and his health has been steadily deteriorating this year and he has been in and out of the hospital. He is starting to lose brain function and it breaks my heart.
This August we found out that my husband of 46 years has prostrate cancer. It is outside of the prostrate and so surgery isn’t an option and he is starting radiation therapy. He was a long haul truck driver, so he had to retire a little sooner than we were planning on.
The entire year I have been working month to month, each month waiting to hear if this is the month I get laid off work. I have worked for the bank for 15 years and they keep extending the lay off, and they also keep telling me it is coming.
Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of success.
– Arianna Huffington
When you add this year up, it has pretty much sucked. I am sharing this with all of you for a couple of reasons. I know that I am not the only one that had things go sideways in her life this year. I think it helps when you know you are not alone in walking and sometimes crawling through life’s storms. I also wanted to share with all of you some of the great things that happened this year, the times when the storm clouds parted and the sun shined for a brief moment reminding me that storms don’t last forever.
Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. But it is the ability to resist or use failure that often leads to greater success.
– J.K. Rowling
I stepped out and made a video about “Catching the Perfect Wave”. I tried to do a couple of webinars, which failed dramatically with no one or only a couple of people attending. I discovered my own way of doing things, rather than just following in someone else’s steps of how things should be done. I learned a lot and really expanded my comfort zone around talking and teaching with groups of people.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts.
– Winston Churchill
I created a pilot program about transforming your life. It centered on the first ring of the Transformational Life Compass, which is all about the labels we live our lives around, the archetypes in our personalities and how to see how we are sometimes our own worst enemy in self sabotaging our life. We granted scholarships to 22 people and while everyone didn’t show up and some didn’t finish – I think it was a great success. The full program will start in February and I am really excited about the life transformations it is going to create to those brave enough to come and join us.
Important achievements require a clear focus, all-out effort, and a bottomless trunk full of strategies. Plus allies in learning.
– Carol Dweck
I think that 2020 is going to be a turning point year for a lot of us. I love the thought of 20/20 vision, focus that is crisp and clear. The ability to see both near and far without fog distorting the images. So how do we take all of the lessons of 2019, the good, bad and ugly experiences and build on that foundation something even better?
The only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.
– Michelle Obama
For the start of the year, to give us all 20/20 insight and vision of what we can accomplish in this brand new year, I am designing a workshop. It will give all of us working together the tools of how to plan out the new year. What to do when the lemons start falling off the tree and hitting us in the head.
There is a military proverb that says something like “in war the battle plans only survive until the battle begins”. Every year we make goals or resolutions to make changes in our life. It might be for health, or education, a better job, working on our marriage, raising children, buying our first home and so on. Those goals or dreams seem to survive the first month or two of the year and then they morph into something unachievable and unrecognizable.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking.
– Brian Tracy
With everything going on with my job, my husband, and my dad, I could put my dreams for the next step for LemonadeMakers on hold. I could put my entire 20/20 focus on these very important personal things in my life. I could just let LemonadeMakers struggle along until my personal life got easier. I put my writing on hold for too many years. I refused to do that in 2019, and I won’t do that in 2020. I am in a marathon and there comes a point in running where if you keep going, you break through into a new level. I want to share with you how I did this in 2019 and how I plan on it in 2020.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
So stay tuned tomorrow for Part Two, to read about some of the tools I use and that you can use too – I can’t wait to share everything with you!
And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this! And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.”
– Ian Thomas
What we all need to realize, is that the lights of the passing ships are mere distractions preventing you from living your life to the fullest. They are the battles that you fight each day, but which do not lead us anywhere. When we honestly realize how asleep we are in our lives, those are the moments when you can begin to challenge the ongoing distractions and bring focus back to the stars – the lights of our true destination.
In a world deluged by irrelevant information, clarity is power.
– Yuval Noah Harari
It’s like someone has set up a circus tent in front of us. You hear the chaos of the music and the shouting barkers telling you about what’s happening in their tents. You hear the shouts and screams of people as they spin and circle and go up and down on the rides. You smell the funnel cakes and cotton candy and popcorn. Bright lights spin on the games as they encourage you to step up and try your luck. So many distractions that you can’t hear yourself think. All of the bright shiny objects promising you the moon, if you just come nearer and pay attention to them. It is a constant battle for your attention. Who wins? The one you pay attention to.
It is those who concentrate on but one thing at a time who advance in this world.
– Og Mandino
I love to ride the roller coaster. To watch the performers with the animals. To see the daring artist high up on the trapeze dancing across the wire. There are lots of fun and exciting things that we can do in our life. What we have to decide is are they part of our goals and dreams, or are they just fun distractions that keep us occupied, distracted. Are they keeping us occupied so that we are not making the changes and transformations that we need to make in order to achieve the life of our dreams? Are they fun things that we should be saying “no” to?
The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.
– Bruce Lee
Are we living our life with laser-like focus? I always think of Bruce Lee when he is in his stance about to engage with someone in battle. He doesn’t hear the sounds around him. He doesn’t see the bright shiny objects trying to distract him. He see’s only one thing – the man in front of him that he’s about to engage in battle with.
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust
Remember the movie City Slickers? Remember Curly, Jack Palance’s character? I love his famous line –
“Curly : Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly : This.
Mitch : Your finger?
Curly : One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.
Mitch : But, what is the “one thing?”
Curly : [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.”
When you are pursuit of the “that one thing”, then the rest of the world fades away. We don’t see the lights of the passing ships – we are laser focused on that star – that bright shining light in the night sky. We no longer wander through the circus seeking distractions. Now we are traveling for fulfillment. We are seeing the world with new eyes. New eyes that are open for the first time to the many doors of potential and opportunity that we missed when we were being distracted by the circus.
But I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything
– Alan Watts
That is kind of what the movie City Slickers was about – those men had gone asleep to what was important in their lives. They were living by distraction, not laser-like focus. The meaning of life can be found in many things if we are awake and looking for it. It tends to show up when we are out of our normal element. Going off on a day trip to the mountains, the beach, the desert. Away from the day to day of our life. Away from the distractions that follow us around.
Be addicted to your passions, not your distractions.
It is when we can get quiet that a connection is possible. We finally see the truths we have been avoiding with the distractions. We discover that the thread of destiny in our life, is where the laser-like focus really begins to take shape. That “thing” that we not so much latch on to, as it latches on to us. We are pushed, pulled, and prodded until finally we realize that we have no choice – we have to live the life that brings our destiny into fulfillment.
Tomorrow becomes never. No matter how small the task, take the first step now!
– Tim Ferriss
If like the character in City Slickers you don’t know what that “one thing” is, go find it. Go somewhere quiet without any of the normal distractions in your life. Sit and think about your life. Dig up all of your old dreams that you abandoned as not being possible when you failed the first time. Reconnect with your passion, the thing that liberates your energy and your spirit. The thing that inspires hope in you again. When you find it, do everything in your power to stay connected.
In life, people tend to wait for the good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out.
– Neil Strauss
Let the circus roll on by. Don’t stop for the Carmel Corn or the Hot Dog. Don’t go on the rides, or play the games, or watch the circus clowns climb in and out of the clown car. Keep your eyes on the stars, and not the passing ships lights. Clarity, focus, making things happen. That’s how you keep your eyes on your stars. Ignore the circus as it shouts to you about what it thinks is so important. Once you understand your own destiny, your secret of life, don’t let that connection go. Remember that the best view comes after the hardest climb.
So remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes a universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up.
– Stephen Hawking
If every morning we wrote out this simple sentence starter “I have no limitations, so I am going to . . . ,” just imagine what you might accomplish in a year. Everything you do is connected to something. Every choice you make impacts others. You just have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.
When you make a difference in someone’s life you make ripples. You’re not only impacting their life, but the lives of everyone they touch. Remember – even the smallest drop of water effects the entire pond. One small act of kindness, makes a world of difference.
I was reading a book where the writer was talking about having to make 30 sales calls in a day when he was going door to door selling encyclopedia’s. He in turn used that same concept when he was in business promoting an entertainer. How he would contact different venues to hire his client. He said that if you really did 30 calls you would get mostly “no’s”, but you would also by laws of average get some yes’s. I thought about this concept in regards to failures. What if we said that for every new thing we tried to learn how to do, we expected to have to try 30 times to be successful? What if every failure was celebrated to being that much closer to success?
The universe responds to our inner yearnings by mysteriously bringing people into our life to answer our questions and help quell our conflicts. Every time you follow your intuition, your personal vibration intensifies. This can be likened to turning up the volume on a stereo. The more your personal vibration is intensified, the more you will pull people into your life who carry messages for you. It is a universal law.
– Denise Linn
What kind of difference would it make in your life, if you viewed failure as the path to success? Not just lip service, repeating a mindless mantra – but truly walking down that path. Can you feel the stones under your feet as you are walking? Can you smell the clean scent of the air after it has rained? Can you feel the warmth of the morning sun as it heats up the day? Are your hands touching the flowers as their fragrance is released by the afternoon breeze? When you are in this space of manifestation, that is when the doors of opportunity start showing up in your life. People come into your life and mysteriously provide you with the exact thing that you need as you are walking down this path. You see a book that answers your questions. You dream about something and then the next day you are walking down the street and there it is.
Always be like water. Float in the times of pain or dance like waves along the wind which touches its surface.
– Suntosh Kalwar
Faith is trusting without knowing. When you trust without knowing you make the world alive with possibilities. Creativity comes from curiosity. It is living in the moment. It is not getting overwhelmed by the millions of steps between where you are and where you are going. It is not letting the enormity of your vision scare you into not even starting the journey. Your vision might take you over Niagara Falls in a barrel. It might have you traipsing through the jungle looking for Dr Livingstone. Or climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. Going into the ocean depths, deeper than anyone has even gone before.
The mind is like water. When it’s turbulent, it’s difficult to see. When it’s calm, everything becomes clear.
– Samreen Zaidi
Our actions have far reaching effects. The shifts we make in our own personal lives, the transformations and changes we implement successfully ripple out into the world. We show what is possible. Our example gives someone else permission to do their own shifts in transformations. They begin to see how they in turn impact the world. A few years ago Oprah had a few shows that talked about kindness. It started with paying for someone’s coffee behind them in line. There were reports of “random acts of kindness” that ran on for hours because each person in turn would do the same for the person behind them.
Every tidal wave begins with a ripple…, make sure the ripples you create in your life are what you want coming back to you; because eventually…, they will return.
I love movies that demonstrate this and I think that is why they end up on everyone’s favorite list. Princess Bride, demonstrates to all of the characters that your actions come back to you. That if you persevere through the hardships it all comes right in the end. The classic heroes journey of the Star Wars Saga; The Butterfly Effect, how every action creates another and another as we chase after what we want in our life. How unforeseen reactions alter our journey time and time again. Groundhog Day, where reliving life over and over finally gets the main character to recognize that he needs to make changes in his own life.
When we focus our energy towards constructing a passionate meaningful life, we are tossing a pebble into the world, creating a beautiful ripple effect of inspiration. when one person follows a dream, tries something new or takes a daring leap, everyone nearby feels that energy and before too long they are making their own daring leaps and inspiring yet another circle.
– Christine Mason Miller
Each of us in born to express our own inner truth. When we live a life congruent with that truth, we are part of the larger plan, the grand design. The more that we seek to expand, to grow into that design, the more we are living out the life God designed for us. Each of us has an inner compass, and when we are living a life that matches our inner values, then that compass is pointing to true north. A life of purpose being fulfilled.
I have accepted fear as a part of life – specifically the fear of change . . . I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says turn back
– Erica Jong
Take a pen in hand. Write out this sentence and complete it – If it weren’t so risky I would try ___________________________. Write this out with five different answers. Now contemplate this list. As they said in the old Mission Impossible series on the tape recorder – Your mission should you choose to accept it is . . . take the first step in making one of those five things happen in your life. Be a ripple that shifts the world.
As fellow travelers on the road of transformation, we here at LemonadeMakers have been checking our course against our mission, vision and purpose. As part of that “checking in” we discovered it was time to take our purpose to the next level.
We are proud to announce a scholarship for our pilot training course,
“Embracing the Chaos of Transformation”
Complete your scholarship application before September 20th to be considered for the program.
When you take compass headings, check your map and determine the next part of your course, you realize that you have gone off course. You have sunk into the comfort zone.
In order to create the kind of life you want to live, you have to focus on what’s important to you. To maintain harmony in your life and stay on course, means that you need to examine where you are in your own personal hero’s journey.
Self-transformation is a lifetime journey. It’s the never ending story of who you are, and more importantly, who you are becoming.
As you travel down this road you will reach what I call “way points”. These way points are the places where you check in, and get supplies for the next leg of your journey. Where you pull out your map to see that course corrections need to be instituted.
Unless you have not moved at all, you will need to make some adjustments to get back on course. That’s because the “dragons of resistance” are always at work. Fears, distractions, addictions, just the contrary winds of life in general – it is all designed to take you off course.
Complete your scholarship application before September 20th to be considered for the program.
Part of checking your course is to see where your own map is ending – the edges of your own comfort zones. While you may have expanded this zone in the past, you are now needing to expand it again. It is time to reengage the battle, to face off with your dragons of resistance.
You have a sense that deep inside of you is a second self. An unlived you. Your authentic self.
The dragon of resistance doesn’t want that authentic self released. LemonadeMakers has created a program to help you learn to recognize your own personal dragons of resistance. LemonadeMakers is offering you the opportunity to join us in our pilot course to assist you in finding that authentic self.
We receive requests for training from people (like you!) who want to navigate their lives with love, inspiration, and peace. In order to help with your staying on course, we at LemonadeMakers are starting a training program using the Transformational Life Compass as a guide.
It’s been a process, and we are now ready to offer a very limited number of people (20 only) free access to the pilot program of the first section of the course, which is designed for a 6-week course. This is a great chance for you to experience a world class life transformation opportunity for free (The full course when released, will be for one year and enrollment fees will be $3,000.00.)
Complete your scholarship application before September 20th to be considered for the program.
If you looked at the ancient mariner maps, you would see at the corners of the map, a warning. “Here there be dragons”. As the hero of your own journey you are going to face those dragons.
What was your first reaction to reading the $3,000 fee for the year long program? Did your dragon of resistance raise his head and roar at you?
On the field of transforming yourself, stands a hero and a dragon. You are the hero and resistance is the dragon. The dragon confronts you every single time you want to start on a new journey of self-transformation. Every time you expand your comfort zone. Every time you make a new goal, a new dream. Resistance will make itself known.
You will hear many roars from your dragon – fears labeled no time, no money. It feels safe when you are invisible, average, because then your dragons fire can’t burn you. Every fear that your dragon bellows at you has some part of reality in it. Some vestige of truth that has been stretched into an illusion by the dragon of resistance.
You can use these dragons of resistance as the needle of a compass to what your God-given destiny is pulling you towards. You know that this God-given destiny is not average. You deserve better than average.
You can use the dragon of resistance to guide you to that calling or purpose. A good rule of thumb is how the more important the call is to your soul’s evolution, the more the dragon of resistance is going to show up.
The dragon is out to destroy the reason you are being called: the living out loud of your divine destiny, your personal genius, the soul’s gift you have that no one else on this earth has but you.
You will know if this course is right for you, by the level of resistance you are currently feeling to discovering more about your authentic self.
You are on a lifetime journey of discovery. There is always something new to learn, discover, uncover and reveal about who you are and why you are here now.
This course is designed to help you fill in the gaps.
Your work is to learn more about your personal vision, your dreams of who you want to be. To ask what’s missing?
Ready to check out your personal destiny map? To widen your comfort zone? To confront and tame or destroy a few dragons?
Complete your scholarship application before September 20th to be considered for the program.
Complete your scholarship application before September 20th to be considered for the program.
No Matter how bad things are right now
No Matter how stuck you feel
No Matter how many days you’ve spent crying
No Matter how many days you’ve spent wishing things were different
No Matter how hopeless and depressed you feel
I promise you won’t feel this way forever
I don’t know about you but I am a huge Lord of the Rings fan. I read the books when I was a kid. I was excited when the cartoon versions came out in the 70’s and over the moon when the movies were made. The composer of the music did a fantastic job. It really moves the emotions inside of you. I can listen to the music and see in my minds eye the scene as it unfolds. I know when something bad is happening, when they are triumphant in battle, when someone has died or when hope is being born again – it’s all there.
“There’s a ripple effect of new thoughts. A tidal wave of new feelings. the demons are being tied up and gagged. I’m just not sure how to handle the new. I thought the old was here forever. I don’t recognize that woman in the mirror, she smiles more than I, laughs more than me” – Swedreams12xx
Music frees you in a way that nothing else does. It encompasses all parts of life. So it is no surprise that there is music for the storms that hit you in life. Music for going to war; for peace accords being signed. Music for giving birth and for saying goodbye to a loved one. Music to study by, and music to get your groove on.
Music reminds us that there is a time for everything. A time for it to feel like your soul is being ripped from you body, to be torn apart so that you can come back together in an even more spectacular way. A time to heal the broken bits into a new whole that is bigger and better than you were before.
“Even now, as broken as you feel, you are still so strong. There’s something to be said for how you hold yourself together and keep moving, even though you feel like shattering. Don’t stop. This is your healing. It doesn’t have to be pretty, or graceful. You just have to keep going.” – Maxwell Diawuoh
In the middle of a storm you can’t control what’s happening, but you can challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is. That’s the true meaning of courage. The quality of your life, your legacy is how long the ripples continue that you made while you lived.
When the storm is battering us to bits, it’s important to just breathe. Don’t lash back out at the storm, it’s ineffectual and doesn’t stop the storm from swamping your boat. Just breathe. Breathe deeply in, holding it for a moment. Then breathe out, holding it for a moment. Just keep breathing. Listen for the music of your own wind chimes. They will remind you that no matter how much it feels like life is beating you, you are creating beautiful music.
“Doing good holds the power to transform us on the inside, and then ripple out in every-expanding circles that positively impact the world at large” – Shari Arison
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t mean that you can’t do it alone. It means that you realize that you aren’t meant to. When you are in pain and allow others in, it creates connections. Connections are vital to creating the beautiful music. Music is filled with bridges that connect the story and flow of the piece. The harmony of the music is created by bridging together different instruments, different voices. Sing out your song courageously, and don’t allow the fear to overwhelm your song.
“There are two basic motivating forces, fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life” – John Lennon
Your sense of self acceptance is demonstrated by your levels of connections. The more connections you have, the more self love and self trust you have. So keep taking deep breaths to settle your emotional responses. Allow your heart and soul to reconnect to your brain. Allow yourself to release the fear and take in the love – love of yourself first and foremost, which makes room to love others.
The depth of love you have for yourself and others can be measured by the depth of authenticity that you show up with in your life. I believe that every day you have miracles show up in your life that you don’t see or don’t acknowledge. By showing up with gratitude for what life is revealing to you and about you, you can turn rain storms into rain showers.
“Every time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and . . , those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance” – Robert F Kennedy
You have stories worth telling. When you hold back from telling your story you degenerate the experience it gave you. This is true both for yourself, and the value it could provide by helping others weather their own storms. When you present the perfect face to the world; the perfect family, “no problems here” kind of picture, you are not allowing the rain storms to be seen.
You create a false dome of protection from the rain so that it doesn’t appear to fall on you. You are in effect saying to others that “you don’t get wet”. You are in denial. You are contraction mode. You are not allowing for new growth to happen.
You need to not only allow for the rain, you need to express gratitude:
In order to create the ripples that change both yourself and others, you need to show up and be seen. You need to show up fully in your life, allowing for the growth that comes from being watered. Allow the expansion of creativity in your life. Contribute from a place of love, which is the birthplace of creativity and change.
“Just as ripple spread out when a single pebble is dropped into the water, the actions of individuals can have far reaching effects” – Dalai Lama
To show up fully, you must never let fears stop you from pursuing your dreams. Don’t let your fears of what might happen, mean that you don’t make ripples happen. Come join us for our next Zoom call. Bring all of those creative “hope” juices to the table and let’s see what we can make.
“No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. No matter how confident someone may look, there are times when they feel insecure and unsure. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they’re falling apart. Never think for a moment you’re alone with your struggles. You’re not a mess. You’re human.” – Lori Deschene
Most of my friends and relatives consider me a very positive person. Someone who can handle whatever life throws my way. A person who will look and look until she finds the silver in the silver lining of the cloud. But there are days when I think that I am not capable of helping myself, let alone others. There are days when I feel like I am not having a positive impact on anyone. There are days when I look at everything I am trying to accomplish with my life and wonder why I am bothering – when it feels like I am working so hard and getting nowhere fast.
“To attract loving and connected relationships, we must first embody the love and connection we seek” – Dr. Debra Reble
Those days will happen to you, no matter how strong you think or others think you are. When they do happen, I have a story that I pull out to remind myself that I am creating ripples, even when I don’t know who those ripples are helping.
A couple of years after my mother had passed away, a friend that used to babysit my kids when they were little and she was a teenager, lost her daughter (a senior in high school) in a bus accident. She was having a really hard time and we were talking about her loss. I really don’t remember what I told her, but I know that it had to do with something I had brought out of the loss of my mom on how to deal with grief and heartbreak.
Years later she was at my mother in-laws funeral and she came up to me to thank me for those words. She remembered them all. They helped her through the dark tunnel of her grief. I had no idea that anything I said could be that impactful. I know that with her own experience, she also was able to give those words to others when they were dealing with overwhelming grief. What I don’t know is how many ripples those words have made, and how many more they will impact.
To be truly happy, you must have connection in your life. First the connection must be to you. To your life purpose. To personal growth. To being the best possible you, that you can be. Self love, self trust, being honest with yourself. Then connection to friends, family, to a mission, vision or cause is vital to live a life that brings you satisfaction, fulfillment and happiness.
It’s also about the way you think about things that are happening – are they happening “to you” or “for you”? Do you look for the silver lining? Do you assign the best possible meanings to what you see and hear around you? Or does that negative mind talk take over and make you feel unwanted?
“Don’t focus on what’s wrong. Things may not be perfect but be grateful for the opportunity to experience each day. Live each day like it could be your last” – Joel Osteen
When your only seeing yourself through the lens of your past mistakes, your regrets and failures – you need to remind yourself that you are so much more. There is a beautiful person hiding inside of you that is vulnerable and afraid. Fears of not being worthy, not enough. Fears of being hurt because someone hurt you in the past. Whenever this beauty seeks to emerge you push it back because fear tells you it isn’t safe.
Think of the caterpillar all wrapped up in the chrysalis. He has transformed into a beautiful butterfly. It is time to break open the lining, to unfold the wings to dry, and take flight. But in fear he keeps grabbing the sides of the lining to try and stay hidden. It’s a scary world out there.
All these fears overwhelm him and he tries to hide himself to keep him safe. Yet the real danger is in staying hidden.
Just like this butterfly, you might think that you are providing safety, by hiding behind a mountain of buried pain. It is time to tear down that mountain. To remove every single brick of the walls that you have built up. To put down the suitcase of your past failures and disappointments, and walk burden free into your future. It is time to spread your wings. It is time to fly into the future you are meant to have. Yes there will be new failures as you learn to soar. Remember that you have potential. That you have gifts that enable you to live a life full of possibilities. You can make your dreams a reality. But nothing will happen, until you try.
“Resolutions for the Soul – No more what if’s…, no more wondering what if I tried that, started that, said that, told that person how I really feel, went on that adventure. No more wondering what if. Starting now, we do it, try it, step out, start, take the risk, make the leap. We make a vow to stop living wondering, what if…,?” – Rob Bell
Quit collecting every painful word that has even been spoken to you or about you. Quit putting meaning to thoughtless words and actions of both yourself and others. Since every experience is seen through your minds eye, change your mind and start collecting hope. Start putting the best meaning possible into what you hear. Start viewing your world through the lens of compassion, both for yourself and for others.
When you focus on leading a creative, positive, inspirational life fear is going to raise it’s head. Fear is always triggered when you pursue change. Change is growth and growth is something to be happy about. Do you remember as a child standing against the wall and measuring how tall you were? How you would measure yourself against your friends and family members who were taller than you to see if you had grown to the same height or gotten taller? You couldn’t wait to grow. Instill that same feeling into your own personal growth. Fear hates it when it doesn’t know for absolutely positively how something is going to turn out. Uncertainty is something that fear can’t stand. But you can change your relationship with both fear and uncertainty.
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance” – Brene Brown, PHD, LMSW
Never let fears stop you from pursuing your dreams. Don’t let your fears of what might happen, mean that you don’t make anything happen. Come join us for our next Zoom call. Bring all of those creative “hope” juices to the table and let’s see what we can make.
Reframing. It is one of those things that is both simple and hard at the same time. Every hero story needs a villain. Something to overcome. You think that you would love to have the easy answers to all of life’s problems. Just program the computer to make all of the decisions for you. A GPS system that told you where to go, and what to do when you got there. If that was life’s reality, you would be bored. You would feel like you were living in a cage. Every child at some point in their life has said, “You’re not the boss of me!” You would not be happy without the freedom to make your own decisions.
“You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic” – Alice in Wonderland
Have you ever been going somewhere with the GPS system in your car telling you where to go? If you are giong on a long trip and you get off the freeway to eat, take a bio-break, or get fuel for your vehicle, the GPS system goes crazy trying to get you back on the scheduled directions. Reframing is taking our GPS system which is telling us to go from point A to point B and reprogramming it for some additional stops. Places on the map that are invisible but there just the same.
“Stop worrying how it’s going to happen and start believing that it will” – Unknown
“The strongest factor for success is self-esteem: Believing you can do it, believing you deserve it and believing you’ll get it” – Unknown
Have you ever completed a big remodel project? You start out with a plan and design of how everything will be done. You start tearing down the bathroom walls and floor, and you discover that your $10K remodel just changed to a $20K remodel because all of the plumbing is cast iron. The pipes have decayed, rusting away and it all has to be replaced.
“Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined” – Unknown
Your small change just became a major remodel. You now have two choices. You can let fears enter the picture telling you that:
OR you reframe it.
“It’s okay to be a glow stick. Sometimes we have to break before we can shine” – Unknown
That’s what life changes are like. You start out thinking that you want to make a small change in your life. You get started taking down all of things that no longer benefit you in your life. Then the unexpected happens. You discover a pattern you didn’t know existed, (which has behind the scenes) is what has been keeping you from implementing those important life changes.
“Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason it will” – Unknown
What’s important during a period of reframing is to “see” or create a vision of what exactly you want your life to look like. What sort of bathroom floor do you want? What kind of tile for the shower floor? The walls of shower? What kind of lights and fixtures? What kind of vanity? What does your ideal dream bathroom look like? Don’t focus on the plumbing issues. Don’t let the cost overruns overwhelm you. Reset your focus to see the ideal outcome, the end of the project, the finished bathroom.
“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him” – David Brinkley
Reframing looks at what everyone else might see as a series of mistakes and failures and asks the question – what else is possible? You see how to make lemonade from lemons. It shows you a series of lessons, each one building on the other. Taking each of those “bricks” being thrown at you, you can begin building a secure foundation to hold the structure, you are creating outside your comfort zone.
“The only limits you have are the limits you believe” – Wayne Dyer
As a professional procrastinator I will take something that might take anyone else a few hours to do and blow it up into a month long project. First by researching it to death, because you can never have too much knowledge. Then by creating a perfect plan, that is revised a million times, because you can’t have too much attention to the smallest detail. I build up the fear of failure until it creates a bridge to the moon. Then because I can’t hold back time any longer I am pushed to finally do something.
“Life is like the ocean. We can’t control the tide, so we might as well learn to surf” – Unknown
If you are going to learn to surf through your life, how can you learn to catch the perfect wave? What is the perfect wave? Come and take a peak at our next conscious conversation on Zoom.
Turn the tide on mediocrity.
Break free of the riptide of your past.
Start living from a “bucket list” instead of existing with a “to do” list.
Never let fears stop you from pursuing your dreams. Don’t let your fears of what might happen, mean that you don’t make anything happen. Come join us for our next Zoom call. Bring all of those reframing juices to the table and let’s see what we can make.
Last April I went to my birth fathers funeral. He died of complications of dementia. I hadn’t seen him in years. My parents divorced when I was four years old. Despite all of my wanting him to be a part of my life, it just never happened. Many reasons, excuses and stories – too many to go into here. What I wanted to talk about from my own experience is the feelings of being a child of divorced parents.
For me it was very painful because I blamed myself for the divorce. I thought it was something I did. Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, there are probably a lot of people in the world who grew up like me, thinking that they somehow caused the divorce. I didn’t realize that I believed this until I had kids of my own. Lots of self analyzing and trying to figure out where my self sabotage patterns originated revealed it to me. My adult self knows that it isn’t true.
My dad like a lot of fathers remarried another women with children. They became his family as is right. Unfortunately, my stepmother didn’t return the favor and the few times I went to their home it was clear I wasn’t wanted. It was clear as a child, as a teenager and as an adult when I visited with what should have been her grand-kids, we were not welcome.
So my dad and I became completely estranged. It broke my heart. For me at least, I always wanted my dad to say he wanted me in his life, and then to try to make that happen. I had the fantasy that once I was an adult and he didn’t have to deal with my mom, that he would show up and be the dad I always wanted. I didn’t realize how much of that fantasy was lying beneath the surface until I found out he had died.
Wintercearig is a Norwegian word meaning winter-sorrowful describing that feeling of deep sadness comparable to the cold of winter. I think that the death of the fantasy was harder than his physical death. I solaced my heart that he had dementia, so there were probably close to 10 years that he didn’t remember me. Grief is a slippery animal though. It comes and goes when you least expect it. I know he wasn’t a happy man, and I know how hard my mother could be for him. I just wish it could have been different, and that they could have put aside their own pain for my sake.
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer – Albert Camus
I am working my way through winter of my loss. Part of that process is to pull out the gold from the dross. To find the invincible summer in my story. To make Lemonade from the lemons. My disappointments in my childhood and the letting go of the fantasy as an adult are part of who I am. I can talk to this with total compassion, because I have been there. I learned to appreciate the good qualities that my mom and dad had, and let go of the expectations that they would ever become who I wanted them to be.
To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold – Aristotle
Pain has a lot of lessons to teach us. I remember years ago I was talking with one of my sister in-laws about forgiveness. She stated that if her husband ever had an affair that she would never forgive him. That she would divorce him. I told her that with big decisions in life, we think we know what we would do. But until that moment arrives it is all speculation. The reason for that is how connected everything is.
It isn’t just that someone had an affair. You would have to look at all of the circumstances around what happened. There are so many things in your relationship with your partner, what is going on at work, with the larger family – what are the stresses of life that weighed in on someone so that would do something that would destroy their life? When something this devasting happens and you look at all of the possible choices you have to face, many times we do not do what we thought we would. You have to stand out in the cold, and really look at every single crystal of the snowflake to make a decision. Like the snowflake, the breaking of the marriage bond is different for every couple with no two alike.
The future lies before you, like a field of fallen snow; Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show – Unknown
My experiences in life gave me a little bit of a soapbox in regards to fathers who don’t see their children. The damage it causes those children affects them every day of their life. Many of us don’t realize how much, until something happens that brings it to the surface. I had thought I had given up the fantasy of my dad showing up on my doorstep one day, saying “I love you and I want you to be part of my life”. It was still apparently a running program in the background, taking up energy.
So if you are divorced and you aren’t connected with your children, make the sacrifice to do whatever it takes to be a part of their lives. Just show up, with no excuses. With no blame, except to say “I’m sorry”. It may take awhile before they trust you again, because even if you didn’t mean to, you broke their heart. But if you put in the effort and keep trying, eventually they will open the door.
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. that’s what this storm’s all about – Haruki Murakami
When I am processing pain, grief, sadness, I write. This is something I am still working on, but I wanted to share the work in progress.
Maybe you are like me, a daughter or son, who just wanted to be told that they were loved, that they weren’t a mistake that could just be thrown away, that they were proud of who you became.
Maybe like me you just wanted them to show up at your door and say Hi.
A note for my Dad
I learned to say goodbye at an early age
To hear “love you, see you soon” knowing in my heart it wasn’t true
Looking out of the back window of the car as mom drove me away
Silent tears wishing I was still with you
It’s a broken road my mom and dad have made
I’m tired of feeling disloyal loving you both, being torn between you two,
I feel my frailness crumble as you both pull me apart
My heart is torn, broken with your hammers beating it to pieces
Years go by with a few hours here and there
Visits so short they can’t even be remembered
How many times I reached out to you
Only to hear the deafening silence.
The sharp thunder of glaciers breaking up and falling into the ocean
The cold became the color of blinding whiteness
I waited for the your presence, the phone call, the letter, anything
To hear you say “I’m here and I love you.”
Deep sadness covers me like a layer of snow
Leaving my heart cold, pain frozen into arctic ice
Daddy why did you die and leave me alone
Never to hear those words, “love you, see you soon” fulfilled?
I think I will miss you forever, since we never got to say goodbye
Wishing you had been a constant presence in my life didn’t make it happen.
The gift you gave me in passing me by in forgetfulness,
Is seen daily in my being a part of my own children’s lives
Open your heart to new adventures.
Finding yourself, who you truly are under all of the masks takes as long as it takes. I started this journey over 20 years ago when my mom passed away. I am still learning new things about myself. I know that really nothing is a “one and done” process. I’ve come to believe at least for myself that it is a life long process. The trick is to be really kind and compassionate to yourself.
If you stumble, make it part of the dance.
You can’t be so afraid of messing up that you are not willing to take a chance on yourself. And when you fall off the bridge and down the ravine, and you will do it many times, it is the realization that each time you climb back up to the bridge, you are growing into your full potential.
Blessed are the curious, for they shall have adventures.
My “go to” for a lot of my life was to feel self doubt so badly about myself, that I was paralyzed into not trying. I decided one day that I just didn’t want to do that anymore. When you decide to live life from a place of curiosity, the risk of failing isn’t such a scary thing. You learn through grace and compassion a new sense of freedom. You begin to understand how freeing it is to fail the first time. You don’t disappear or die from it. And once you have got that initial failure under your belt, you have freed up your imagination to wonder if doing it this way, or that way might result in something totally fun.
Listen to your own voice, your own soul, too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves. Deep inside, you know what you want, let no one decide that for you.
There becomes a point in growing and exposing more and more of oneself that you have to decide if you remain in the new “box” that you have created as a comfort zone or you want to continue to evolve more and more into who you are. You have to decide to continue down the road you recognize or you start down a new path.
Your purpose in life will become clear when you cease looking outside for answers and start listening to the silent and omnipresent voice of the heart.
In all the fairy tales, when the journey starts out the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the path is clear. But at some point in the journey, the path seems like it might even disappear. The darkness starts creeping in and obscuring what can be seen. The sights and sounds take on a sinister aspect. You know the challenge is about to appear. This happens because the inner world is very protective and has learned to hide who and what you are down deep inside. It has become the scary monster under the bed, and you are under the covers hiding so as to not be noticed.
Too many people live too much in the past. The past must be a springboard, not a sofa.
– Harold MacMilan
When you take up your shield of courage, something new and unexpected will catch our eye. Growth happens with change. It requires change. There is something valuable hidden within each of us that is worth unearthing. You might not be able to name what it is, but you can hear its voice calling softly. You have to be willing to challenge and fight the monster under the bed to unearth it. Every day, every hour, we get to decide we are worth the battle to bring it up and expose it to the light. Your soul is hoping and praying that your willing to set it free.
As a flower craves the light of the sun to grow, we desperately need the light of our souls to become who we’re destined to become.
Through our life we have created patterns that we tell ourselves is the path to freedom. Most of the time these patterns are actually chains, shackles or cages. It is a false freedom based on fear of exposing who we really are. It is like throwing a bedspread over dirty blankets or sheets – it looks good from above and we may look like we have our life together, but underneath it is a hot mess. It is a facade of of freedom.
The greatest act of human courage isn’t climbing mountains, conquering countries, or fighting in wars; it is walking into the mysterious abyss of one’s own inner self and truthfully face one’s own pain and tortured Shadow.
True freedom exposes everything up to the light, the good, the bad and the ugly. Recognizing and changing the patterns in our lives is what frees us from the chains we have wrapped around our souls. At any moment we have the power to change our story. Each second we can decide to put the key in the lock of our safe cage and release ourselves to be who we really are.
I’m not weak or a mess. I’m a deeply feeling person in a messy world. It takes strength to face and feel what few other people have the courage to acknowledge.
When you aren’t trying to outrun failure, success takes on a whole new meaning. Fear loses its foothold and instead of being the monster under the bed, it becomes the worn out teddy bear missing part of one ear and both eyes. When we believe that we win, that there is no lose or tie – then the bottom line is that we have expanded our comfort zone. We learned something new and valuable.
The Free Spirit,
The Loner Wolf,
The Black Sheep,
The Eccentric . . ,
These all are synonyms and the people who relate with any of these belong to the same Soul Group.
Failure is just part of the dust that gets into everything when we are walking down the dirt road. Sometimes its like the rock that we need to stop and remove from our shoe. It might slow us down, it might get us really dirty, but it never has to stop us from putting that shoe back on, getting back up and walking down the road again. Success is found on the road as we walk it.
I am willing to embrace the inner trust I have to ensure all I want – is given the opportunity to unfold.
We have to draw a line between all of the connecting points in our life. If we fail to connect all of the points, then we are missing out. We won’t fully comprehend what has happened, what doors of opportunity were opened that we walked by without seeing. We won’t see how the challenges exposed us to growth that wouldn’t have been possible without them. It fully exposes you to the challenge and opportunity of growth in ways that you can’t even imagine if you didn’t walk across the bridge.
If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.
– Lao Tzu
Asking yourself what do I want to do next? What challenge or opportunity is waiting behind the next corner to change and transform my life? To actually completely engage in a life of exploration, curiosity, believe in what else is possible? If you want to go beyond the surface of answering these questions, join us in our next “Catching The Perfect Wave” online course. We dive deeply into exploring transformation and listening to our souls voice with weekly group calls to go beyond the simple answers and explore what we all have hiding beneath the surface.
Benjamin Franklin has a famous saying,
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
– Benjamin Franklin
I would amend his quote to include change. Change happens whether we want it to or not. It is necessary for growth, and without it there can be no life. A seed is planted, the seeds shell breaks open, and a shoot pushes its way out of the soil. The shoot becomes a thriving plant through continued growth. With the right amount of water, nutrition and sunlight, the plant produces a bountiful harvest.
Growth only comes from adversity and from challenge – from stepping away from what’s comfortable and familiar and stepping out into the unknown.
– Ben Saunders
The seed stepped into its destiny by not remaining dormant in the ground. It did not let fear keep it from cracking the hard protective shell. It pushed itself out of the limitations of the seeds shell. It pushed itself past the fears that resided in the darkness of the soil, thrusting up into the light.
Stepping into your destiny really is the only real, true, authentic way to live. Fear is all that holds you back and holding on to that is really what keeps us stuck in the dark.
Growth and change can be painful, but they do not have to be. You have a choice in how you react to it, and how if affects you. Change is the law of life. But all change is not growth. That is because change isn’t always forward movement. Sometimes change takes us backward, instead of forward.
Knowing others is intelligence. Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.
– Lao Tzu
Having an open mind is necessary if you don’t want the growth that happens when you change to be painful. This is because if the mind is closed, then you are forever being controlled by the things that the mind refuses to give up. Wisdom is knowing ourselves so that we spot our patterns of self sabotage. Mastering ourselves is when we spot the self sabotage and instead step through the gateway of transformation.
Your vulnerability is a powerful gateway. Stepping into it invites growth, freedom, healing, your greatest love. It is a pathway born from courage, connecting your truth + being to the magic already living within you.
Think of a baby bird. It is a soupy glob inside the egg. It transforms into a baby bird. If it doesn’t transform, the egg goes bad and never has life. Once it transforms it still needs to peck its way out of the eggshell. If it doesn’t get out of the eggshell it will die. Then once it is out of the eggshell it grows to the point that it needs to use its wings and learn to fly. All are components of constant change and growth. The prize of growth, is in the freedom of flight that the mature bird has.
None of us are perfect, but I value those who make growth a priority . . . They push things forward, they show us that it’s better to die in your truth than to live by what cowardly people deem to be “right” . . . You’ll always be crazy to people too scared of reality to dream . . . Your mistakes will always be dumb to those who fear trying anything new . . . But there’s always a prize for those that persevere . . . Greatness is infatuated with those that have the discipline to stay focused and the work ethic to consistently get better . . .
– Rob Hill Sr.
This is a great illustration of change. Some of the changes are beyond the control of the bird. it has no say about changing from the soupy glob and into the baby bird. Instinct has it fight and peck itself out of the shell. The bird could fight against the changes, but doing so would lead to its death as it needs to eat to survive. It goes through change and transformation after change and transformation. It has the freedom of flight. It has the wind beneath its wings lifting it up into the sky. The reward is in the fulfillment of its destiny.
Personal growth is not a matter of learning new information, but of unlearning old limits.
– Alan Cohen
What it comes down to is how the attitude that we have about change and life, speaks to the kind of life we have. The attitude of survival actually fights against change, because our focus is on avoiding what we don’t want. We avoid disease with drugs, we try to avoid war by creating better faster ways of killing our enemies, so that we aren’t killed by them. Weapons of mutually assured mass destruction.
All change is preceded by crisis.
– Soren Kierkegaard
A different attitude would be to focus on thriving. In thriving we seek out ways to live a happier, healthier way of life. We seek the good things we want in our lives, instead of avoiding the bad things we don’t want. We seek to cooperate with others in love and peace, connecting heart to heart. We become pioneers of a better future. Assumptions need to be cleaned out of our thinking process, because they serve as blinders and we miss vital information.
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
– Mahatma Gandhi
Growth and change are very scary. You will trip and fall and bruise yourself. Others will make fun of you, stating that you can’t change the world (you are a pipe dreamer). They use fear as a powerful motivator to stay where you are. Because they themselves have a lack of self trust, they will say that you can’t trust others. Because they are themselves bullies, they will say that the bad guys will win, if you don’t act in a forceful way. Since they don’t have a life experience of safety, they will say you won’t be safe until you destroy what the others have. They will say a lot of things, to push you backwards into a cage of fear of loss. They will push you back into the cage of what they falsely call safety.
Laugh at what you hold sacred and still hold it sacred.
– Abraham Maslow
Goals are what we reach for, but the real prize is how we change to achieve them. I always think of Imagine by John Lennon. What if,…. we all really do have infinite potential? What if we really can do anything? What if we can make our dreams come true? What if, changing you, really does change the world?
That is the kind of world I want to live in, and what I find is that the more I create that space inside of me, the more I find others who are doing the same. I really do believe that someday we will be living life in peace, and sharing the world with each other, and the world will really finally be “one”.
Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is directly or indirectly where our expectations of life originate. We take a goal and make a plan. We see into the future possibilities. We attach meaning and purpose to a particular way we “see” the goal being accomplished. Imagination is how we come up with the plans in the first place. It is what enables us to make anything possible, anything happen.
The imagination is the golden pathway to everywhere.
– Terence McKenna
One of the danger signs on the road of our imagination is that we project meaning into everything that happens. Now if we are projecting good, positive meanings to what is happening, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, many times what we are projecting is suffering into what is happening. If someone sent you a text message that said, “boy, what a day I am having”. What’s the first thought that comes into your head? Without the emotion in the voice or cues from body language, where does your mind go first – to something great is happening in their day or something horrible is happening to their day?
Reality is something you rise above.
– Liza Minnelli
We need to constantly ask ourselves, what am I busy painting onto the canvas of my imagination? There are no rules to what I decide to paint. If I think that I can only be successful if my view of my current reality is matching to what I imagined my life would look like, then I am going to be doomed to disappointment. How many times have I whined in my head, “but this isn’t how it’s supposed to be?” How can I rise above what I perceive to be my reality, to what I am trying to create in my life?
Imagination is the most marvelous, miraculous, inconceivably powerful force the world has ever known.
– Napoleon Hill
Imagination is what leads to creation. Think of all of the great science fiction writers and their imaginations. Deep sea diving, submarines with Jules Verne. Star Trek and their recorders to our cell phones. Isaac Asimov and self driving cars and the stun gun (taser). H.G. Wells and atomic power. We are so close to being able to print and replace body parts, organ transplants, tricorders for medical diagnosis. To travel to the stars and go beyond our galaxy. All things that have happened and will happen in our futures, because someones imagination said, “what if . . , “.
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.
– Albert Einstein
Imagination is what you need to see that although there may be problems in your life that need to be solved, they are also realities to be lived through. It is the meaning I give to my life that enables me to perceive that I am successful, that I am happy. How I perceive my life to be, is the reality I am creating for myself. The meaning comes from my feelings about what is happening. I can get lost in the maze of what it should be. I can also choose to see life as it truly is and acknowledge that most of the times when I have really grown have been when I was in the middle of some sort of failure. Taking the risk of failing, is really taking the risk that the growth that comes out of that failure is worth the cost of failing.
The world is a canvas for your imagination. You are the painter. There are no rules. Get to work.
There is a beach collage in the movie “The Man of the House” which the mom Sandy, (played by Farrah Fawcett) adds to every time she goes to the beach with the family. All through the movie she is adding a piece to it, until finally she sets a final piece in it and declares it is done. It is highly likely that this collage in her head when she first imagined it and what she actually created are not the same. But who makes the rule that it has to be the same? We do. We are the ones painting on our canvas. We decide what stays there and what gets scraped off and repainted with something new. The rules are created by us and we can change them. Our imagination can reshape the rules, can reshape what is on the canvas, can reshape anything to mirror what we desire to achieve in our life. My perception of my life is what makes up the reality of my life.
The power of imagination makes us infinite.
– John Muir
So what am I focusing on? Is it something that brings my imagination into reality? Because if my reality and my imagination are not even close to being the same, then I need to refocus to make it so. It’s funny how sometimes the way to make that adjustment is to learn to lose how I thought it had to be, in order to find out a better way to live it. It’s a matter of holding onto the vision that imagination has created and trusting the process of trying, failing, learning and trying again.
Live out your imagination, not your history.
– Stephen R. Covey
Raise your eyes to see the possibilities everywhere around you. They are always there. An endless hallway filled with doors waiting for you to step through. As you go through a new door, remember – nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. To be perceived in such a way that it creates the reality that you are searching for. So don’t just sit there. Get up and get busy!
Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.
– Arthur Ashe
Every year I go on several trips to seminars that are usually three – four days each. This year they arrived all at once. One of them I was supposed to go on last year, but my body had other plans (back surgery) and so I was unable to attend. So they transferred me to this event. The second one is part of the coaching plan I am on and I wasn’t able to travel yet with the event last year (on restrictions from said back surgery) and the third event is an annual American Indian Retreat I do every year.
Sometimes, it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.
I go on these journey’s each year to recharge my batteries. To open my mind to new learning. To get away from the everyday life, so I can relax and let come in from the divine the messages I am too busy to hear when I am involved with a fulltime job at the bank as well as running my LemonadeMakers page. When I am out of my element, I see things I am missing at home. I meet new people since I go to most of these events by myself. I get to travel and see what in my life needs to change.
Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.
– John O’Donohue
So no surprise, with attending a four day event (Thursday – Sunday) three weekends in a row in three different states, I woke up to some things in my life. I have always loved trees. It has always seemed to me that they talk to me. They are so relaxed and go with whatever mother nature sends their way. They connect to other trees through the root systems and even send nutrients to other trees far away that need them. Some of the recent scientific studies show they actually create community and support each other. Every home we have purchased it was because of the trees on the property, not the houses that I fell in love with. So imagine my surprise when I realized that lately trees haven’t been talking to me, water has.
The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn’t even think to ask.
– 180 degrees south
When I was at my first event outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico at Tamaya, located on a Pueblo Indian Reservation, they had strong winds blowing. I had opened the door to my hotel room and was listening to the wind, rain and thunder storm. When I closed my eyes and listened I heard the sound not of the wind, but of strong waves breaking against the seashore.
When I flew into Phoenix for my next event, the winds were blowing and I still heard the ocean in the air.
At Joshua Tree in California, I spoke to Chief Roberts and his wife Terri about how I was hearing the ocean everywhere I went. I knew water was calling but I didn’t know why. As one of our outdoor activities we were to walk a labyrinth. As I walked it I was looking down at the rocks that outlined the path. All different kinds of rocks, different minerals and crystals in them. All shapes. They spoke to me about water. How it had loosened them from the soil. How it had carved and shaped them transforming them, exposing them to the elements and revealing what they were deep inside. How sometimes the changes happened rapidly like a landslide and other times it was slowly drip by drip that changed occurred.
Even in my planning for where we are going to live when I retire, water has been showing up. First as I wanted to live in Northern Oregon or Southern Washington along the coast next to the ocean. Then my son sent me a property listing outside of Astoria Oregon on the John Day river for a houseboat. It was like water was saying, if you don’t want the ocean, how about living on the river?
I felt like the mom in the kitchen making dinner and my three year old kept grabbing my pant leg, saying “mommy, mommy” over and over. And I kept saying, in a minute, I’m really busy right now. Water was not letting me get away. It just kept trying to get my attention.
Your journey in life is not set in stone, you can change direction.
– Steven Aitchison
As I traveled round and round the labyrinth I started thinking about when water had started talking to me. How had it been showing up in my life? This winter has been the wettest winter since we have been living in California – the amount of water this season has been comparable to all the water we have gotten the last 10 years or so combined. My patio kept getting flooded over and over again.
Then I thought about how we just redid the logo and website and Facebook page design and it has the ocean with breaking waves on it, whereas before it was the trees in the forest. Then I thought about the webinar video I created and again it was about “Catching The Perfect Wave”. Even right now with my remodeling of the bathroom I just discovered that I have to replace all of the drainage pipes as they used cast iron when the house was built and they are all damaged with rust and corrosion.
In a recent deep meditation class I asked my intuition what I needed to know. I am very visual and it showed me this vision in which I had already given birth and was now expelling the afterbirth. Childbirth has a lot to do with water – LOL. When I looked up the meaning behind this it validated my thoughts that I am in the middle of a big life transition. I have been told for the past 6 months that I am probably going to be laid off from work. I have been preparing for this liquidating our other properties we own, paying off debt and getting everything ready for the possibility.
Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.
– Paulo Coelho
I think that this is why water is showing up for me, Big changes are coming. Everyone I was talking to at all three events were experiencing big changes in their lives. They were all in the midst of some transition in their lives. I am taking a leap of faith in my own transition that it is time for me to devote full time to LemonadeMakers. To finish the online courses I am writing. To find a new publisher for my first three books, that I had ready to print when the company that was doing it sent me an email that they shut their doors. To begin coaching life transformation full time, instead of part time. This is a big risk as I have never been self employed. It is a big risk, because I have no idea where this journey will take me. I just know that water says I have to go.
No one knows what changes, big or small, lie ahead.
One thing is certain, our journey’s not over.
Enjoy each and every step.
So my question for you is this – what is trying to get your attention? What are you ignoring because you are so busy doing, that you are forgetting to take the time to listen?
Take the time to look behind you for signs. Listen to what keeps occurring in your life. See the doors that you walked past not realizing they were there. Realize that you are probably in the midst of a transition yourself. Be brave. Go someplace even if it is simply a walk in the woods and get away from the everyday part of your life. Ask yourself what do I need to know for the next part of my journey.
Come attend our next webinar and explore what we have to offer to take you to a new level of self transformation. Click on the link below to learn more about our next webinar to “Catch the Perfect Wave”.
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