In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be.
– The Dreamer
When you were this girls age, you had dreams about who you wanted to be when you grew up. You may already have been singing, or dancing, or wanting to be a doctor or lawyer. Between this age and actually growing up most of us have our dreams dashed in some way. It may be that someone teases us that we can’t carry a tune, or we are doing the dance wrong. Or maybe they tell us that we should choose a less challenging career than a doctor or lawyer, because we really aren’t that smart. Or it could be more subtle where we are being directed by our parents into the career that they want for us.
Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
Along the way we also learn to hide who we are. We learn that others judge us, so we put on masks to conform to who they want us to dress like, look like, act like. We hide our dreams so that no one can destroy them any further. We learn not to trust our hearts to be in others hands. We give up on what is possible and settle for what is conforming to the needs of others. We forget who we are and what we are here for. We no longer take part in the dance of life, but settle back against the wall and watch those with more courage or talent dance it in front of us.
Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.
There is only one way to truly know who you are deep down inside. You have to get in touch with your own soul. You need to be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and just listen. Looking back at your life, find the places where you were really happy. Find the things that are so easy for you to do, that others find hard or impossible. Trace back all of the threads that have your name engraved upon them. Start picking out and removing all of the threads that are not you. Look for the gold and silver pieces and toss out the dross. Now look for the patterns that are left. The amazing thing is that it usually takes you back to this age. The age when you acted out who you really were, before society broke you like a young colt and told you who to be. The threads of genius that are all you, can now be taken up and made into whatever pattern you want. It is never too late to be who you were meant to be.
To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.
– Deepak Chopra
Sometimes when you make this journey deep into our soul, we discover that our lives have to be completely shaking up. We are covered in dust and debris that needs to be removed. We need to rearrange almost everything. Change almost everything. We need to go to the place we are supposed to be. A close friend of mine relocated from Los Angels to Italy and she loves it. The best thing to do is to remove what doesn’t belong and then figure out how to rearrange what does. It is an individual journey that defines who we are in a totally new way. We discover our truth by looking for it down deep within and then integrating it into our life. We are on a life adventure. This journey is for you alone. Embrace it and life it fully.
The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated. It isn’t true that everyone should follow one path. Listen to your own truth.
– Ram Dass
There are some that will say that living your life purpose, is being selfish. That we are ignoring the wishes of others. But actually the reverse is true. Each one of us was given as part of our life journey a divine destiny. We were born into the place and the family that would give us the tools to accomplish this purpose. Some of those life lessons come through adversity, some come as part of the journey of rediscovering who we are really meant to be. But if we don’t take the risks, make the changes and transform our lives, then our destiny will not be fulfilled. And we will not be living the life that God sent us here to live. So it is actually selfish to not live up to our full potential. To not find out who we are supposed to be. To not utilize our power to its full capability. To not live out loud and up front our God given destiny.
. . . it’s a life’s journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else . . .
– Mariska Hargitay
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions
– Dalai Lama
Most of us as adults would look at all the clean laundry on this bed and sigh, thinking that it all needed to be folded or hung up and put away. But my two grandsons didn’t see a pile of work to do, they saw fun. The smiles on their faces make my heart burst with joy. Can you remember being this age and thinking that everything in and around your house was just waiting for you to figure out a way to have fun with it? As adults we need to get back that lens of seeing things as something ready made to make us happy.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do, are in harmony
– Mahatma Gandhi
One of the things that I love about watching small children, is their ability to just be themselves. They aren’t hiding who they are behind a mask, no fake smiles, no hidden agenda’s. If something does happen that makes them sad or mad, their emotions flow straight through them. The don’t pout in the corner waiting for someone to coax them back into a good mood. They have their moments when a tantrum hits them, then they immediately get distracted and two minutes later they are on the bed rolling in clean clothes and laughing about nothing.
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry, with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously,
– Og Mandino
They don’t have baggage that they carry around with them, that slows down their emotions. They don’t find themselves trapped in an endless loop of replaying a bad experience over and over again. They don’t let their emotions send them into an endless spiral of judgment and negativity. They don’t spend their days getting triggered by something unimportant. They don’t let a single thing cause them to spend the rest of the day in a bad mood.
The best thing that you can do to this world is to be joyous. Being joyful, is the greatest offering you can make to the world
– Jaggi Vasadev
Have you ever been in a terrific mood, driving down the freeway as you go to work? Then someone cuts you off. You might mutter under your breath. Or maybe you yell at the driver shaking you head or hands. Or maybe you drive right up on their bumper to let them know how angry you are. A few weeks ago two drivers were going down the freeway, and I don’t know what started the argument, but they were taking turns cutting each other off, then they pulled their cars over and one man got out with a baseball bat. Fortunately, there was a highway patrol behind them and he was able to stop it from escalating even further. Why do we let someone else’s actions destroy our good mood? Why do we feel the need to somehow get back at them for their either unthinking or aggressive driving habits?
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.
It isn’t easy to let things go as fast as they happen to us. But if we remember these two rascals and a load of clothes just out of the dryer, maybe, just maybe, we can be like children. Feel the emotion, and let it flow out of us. Take back our self respect and don’t allow anyone to push down the rabbit hole of negative emotions. Just walk away. Just because someone invites us to argue and fight, doesn’t mean we have to accept the invitation. Self Awareness allows us the space to check in within us and choose happiness. To chose not to worry. To chose the “easy button” in all aspects of living our life in joy and happiness.
Life does not require you to sacrifice or compromise your joy to get what you want. Joy is what you want, so when you choose in harmony with it, you are fulfilling your life purpose.
– Alan Cohen
When we choose to live our life from the place of gratitude it helps us to shift our energy to bring in more of what we want in our life. As we walk down our chosen path, the journey of life brings us many things. Not all of them are meant to stay. Everything in our life currently is serving some sort of purpose. Part of the journey is figuring out why it is in our life. What it is supposed to be teaching us, and once we know and implement that knowledge, then it is time to let it go. What an interesting thing it is to recognize that in every moment we have choices laid before us. We can choose anger and frustration, or we can let the negative emotion roll in a wave over us and past us to the shore and then watch as it takes all of the negativity back out to sea.
We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
– Carol Castenada
Sometimes happiness is a feeling. Sometimes it’s a decision. Don’t let stupid things break your happiness. If you really look at life, while we all have tragedy happen in our life, most of our unhappiness from day to day is our being triggered by something stupid.
If you want to, you could find a million reasons to hate life and be angry at the world, or, if you want, you could find a million reasons to love life and be happy. Choose wisely.
– Cari Welsh
Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.
– Rikki Rogers
Life in a Jar . . . a play written by school children in Kansas. Tells the story of Irena Sendlerowa who saved around 2,500 Jewish babies from Nazi death camps. Saying that what she did was nothing special, she said “I was brought up to believe that a person must be rescued when drowning, regardless of religion and nationality. The term hero irritates me greatly. The opposite is true. I continue to have pangs of conscience that I did so little.” She was captured by the Gestapo and beaten, breaking and crushing her legs and feet, and then driven away to be executed. One the way, she was rescued. She was never able to walk without crutches afterwards. I think that most of us wonder if we would have had the strength and courage to do what Irena did. Risk our lives for children that we didn’t know. To survive that kind of beating. To have the attitude of thinking that we could have done more than rescue 2,500 children. She is a special kind of hero.
The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
As brave as Irena was, think for a moment of being the mother who had to decide if she could give up her child. What guarantee was there that this would in fact save their child? Where did such inner strength come from? Most of the parents who gave up their children did not survive the war, and lost their lives in the death camps. Put yourself in that place for just a moment, could you have given your child to Irena? Their story is told in the PBS program, “Irena Sandler: In the Name of Their Mothers”.
Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths.
– Drew Barrymore
Harriet Tubman is another amazing woman. Born a slave, she ran away leaving her husband and children to escape slavery. Walking almost 90 miles to Philadelphia with no map, directions or help. She returned to the South at least 19 times and lead her family and hundreds of other slaves to freedom via the Underground Railroad. She was very intuitive and had dreams that would tell her when to leave the road, or that a particular way was not safe. A movie about her life was made, called “A Woman Called Moses”. She is an inspiration again, for standing up for what is right with bravery and courageous action. After rescuing her family, the fact that she went back again and again, with a large bounty on her head for over 10 years makes her a monument to courage and determination. She was also involved in helping women get the vote, working with Susan B Anthony.
Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.
– Christian D. Larson
We could write story after story about amazing people who showed tremendous resilience and courage. Who dug down deep within themselves to find their inner strength to live through trials and tribulations. Who fought through the inner and outer darkness of their lives. In fact, all of us have such stories within our own lives. We may think that what we have done in our lives doesn’t compare to the stories we have heard, the ones that we have labeled as heroes. I am sure that if you were to talk with Malala Yousufzai, she would insist that what she did standing up in defiance to those who wanted to prevent her being educated, was nothing notable. We are all Irena’s, and Harriet’s, and Malala’s.
Every woman had infinite potential to achieve anything she wants. She just needs to stop underestimating herself and discover her true inner strength. She will find within her an unlimited capacity to achieve.
– Aarti Khurana
Maya Angelou is another courageous woman, my hero. Her writing and her wisdom are so inspiring. One of my favorite quotes of hers, “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it”. We all face in our lives numerous times that test us. Things happen that can shatter us, that can pierce our souls. But nothing that happens can reduce us to something less that we are.
A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey, but a woman of strength knows it is in the journey where she will become strong.
Like the water in a lake. Something can cause large ripples that disturb our peace, that shatters our emotions. The cause of the disturbance, like a large rock, might sink to the bottom of our lake, our souls. It might forever change us, but it does not reduce us. We still have the power to return to our inner and outer peace. To continue to learn, grow, and transform our lives. To be curious as to what else is possible in our lives. To be an intelligent, courageous, loving woman who teaches others by being her best possible self.
You are a woman of strength, courage and dignity; one who values herself and fights for what she believes in. A woman who won’t give up on her dreams regardless of how many obstacles stand in her way. If that doesn’t make you beautiful and magnificent, I don’t know what does.
There is an inner beauty about a girl who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a girl who follows her own path, who isn’t thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is an inner beauty about a girl whose confidence comes from experiences, who knows she can fall, pick herself up and move on – Unknown
I love the last line. When we step outside of our comfort zone, when we take a leap of faith, there are times we fall down. It is part of the process. When a baby starts crawling, then climbing up and walking along the furniture, they display the perfect attitude. They take a step or two, with wobbly legs and almost no balance. They fall on their butts. They may cry. But the next thing you know they are back to trying to take another step.
We tell them “come to moma” and they get the biggest grins on their faces, so excited. They take a wobbly step after wobbly step into the moms arms. This is what walking outside the comfort zone is about. Taking a first step and another, wobbling along the way. Crashing and burning and getting back up until we can walk with perfect balance and ease.
She was unstoppable. not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she continued on despite them – Unknown
No matter how many defeats we encounter, we can recover. We are resilient and we don’t “cry uncle”, we figure out another way around the obstacle and continue on. Along our life journey we can expect that there will be times when we become lost to our purpose and passion in life. We may encounter some sort of addiction problem; we may go through the loss of a spouse or child that sends us off the deep end; we may have severe health issues that make us wonder if we want to continue living; we may encounter mental health issues. What we need to understand is that there isn’t any mistake or issue in our life that we can’t rise up out of.
Strong Woman – you may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it – Maya Angelou
Recovery from anything goes through a process. Good days, bad days. You will sometimes feel all alone and maybe even abandoned by others. The flip side of that feeling is that you are now empowered to help others who are struggling. Your friends and family may not understand what you are going through. Instead of bottling up your struggle or judging them as insensitive, you have the opportunity to try to explain in a million different ways. Sometimes if they haven’t walked in your shoes, it is like trying to explain the fax machine to a two year old. You can explain how it works a million different ways, but they won’t understand. So that has to be ok. Sometimes we just have to accept, “it is what it is” and move onward.
Whenever we begin to feel as if we can no longer go on, hope whispers in our ear to remind us that we are strong – Robert M Hensel
Your problems won’t magically go away, but as you recover they will become more and more manageable. The days of overwhelm will get fewer. As you go through the process of recovery, you will change in many small and large ways. It is hard to see the changes yourself. It is like when you have a 12 month old who is learning how to walk, run, and talk. They are growing like crazy, but we don’t really notice until nothing they have fits. But if you were to go on a trip for two weeks and come back to that toddler, you would immediately see all of the changes in growth and things that they are doing. Others notice the changes faster than we do, because they have the space away from us.
Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion – Unknown
The important thing to remember when we are going through any kind of recovery, is the end result that we are working towards. What we are fighting for. Working out everyday at the gym results in our becoming happier, healthier, stronger, as step by step we are recovering. There may be times in the fight where we miss guarding ourselves and get punched. We may fall to the ground, breathing heavy, wondering if we can get back up. What we have to remember is that as long as we get back up, keep fighting for our wholeness, we have not lost.
Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted. – Unknown
Take the time to breathe. It seems simple, but have you ever we taken a yoga class and been reminded that you are holding your breath and you need to breathe? Or maybe doing something on a machine in the gym and the instructor is reminding you to breathe? There are times were we seem to hold our breath, because something is somewhat painful. There are times when are so excited or angry that we forget to breathe. The proverb of taking 10 deep breaths before speaking or acting comes into play here. When we take really deep full belly breaths it somehow seems to disconnect us from our runaway emotions and allows our brain to reconnect and begin to direct our thoughts.
We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same – Carlos Castenada
If we take those 10 deep full belly breaths right now, you will see what I mean. It will allow you to see some patterns, some logical reasoning comes back into your space and you can see how although the recovery was painful, it does have some wonderful jewels buried right alongside of you. There are some positive things that you have learned about yourself on this journey. Today is the best day to celebrate with gratitude those gifts. Believe in yourself again. Love those around you and most importantly love yourself. Live, Laugh, Love and celebrate life again.
It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it.
So how do you work with your mind to change your story? You acknowledge that you are where you are in your story because of how you did, or did not use your power. You realize that while you can’t control every challenge that happens in your life, you can control your response to it. That is where your power to control your story originates – how you respond.
Allowing people inside your life is a beautiful thing. Letting go of people who drain your spirit is another beautiful thing you can do for your life. The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.
First step is to silence the mind. The subconscious mind is so busy trying to distract us from our real story. It wants us to get lost in the stories of who our parents said we were. Of who our friends and relatives expect us to be. But our true story is waiting in our hearts to be re-discovered. To be released from the cage that we put it in when we were small children.
Meditation is a great way to learn to silence the mind. Visualization is another great way to give the mind something structured to do, so that it will let our heart and soul communicate with us. For me, my heart and soul communicates best in my dreams. Many of my poems and best blog posts come from ideas in my dreams.
The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.
Second step is to let go of trying to control things that you have no control over. To let go of what you can’t change. Which usually means that we are trying to control the behavior of someone else. Or control things over which we have no power in the first place.
In our life story we sometimes have to climb a high mountain pass. We are supposed to travel up over the pass and back down the other side. As we follow our road over the mountain, we may find the road has been washed out. We might find the road has had a rock or mud slide. Maybe a bridge is out, or there is a raging forest fire. We might have to detour around whatever the roadblock is. That doesn’t mean that we drag all of those rocks, mud, broken bridges or burning bushes with us, as we go down the other side of the mountain. We leave that roadblock on the road. It is not our business to fix the road. It is not our burden to control the journey and demand that the road be repaired before we continue across the mountain. Our business is to simply travel to our destination by any means possible. It is in the traveling that we learn, change, adapt and transform.
One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.
Third step is to really, truly, believe from the bottom of your soul, that you are unique, no one in the entire universe is like you, and that is how it is supposed to be. Stop trying to fit in a mold. Stop trying to be Martha Stewart in the home, and Oprah at work, and Marilyn Monroe in the bedroom, all rolled up into one amazing super woman. Don’t try to make yourself live out someone else’s story. Live your own.
You weren’t made to replicate, obey or stand in the shadow of another person. You were made to stand in your own power and find the truth in your soul..
Fourth Step is to realize that while we all need a helping hand once in a while, nothing will destroy our power to live our own story faster than having the habit of depending on others. Just like a tree that grows in the forest, we must grow deep roots to support our upward growth. If we start leaning on the trees that we are planted by, when the storm comes into our life our roots will not support us and we will crash to the ground. The unfortunate thing about our crash is how we damage those next to us as we fall. We must learn to stand up alone and be an original.
Nothing else so destroys the power to stand alone as the habit of leaning upon others. If you lean, you will never be strong or original. Stand alone or bury your ambition to be somebody in the world.
– Orison Swett Marden
Fifth Step has to do with your relationship with yourself. Really understanding what real self love and self trust is all about. Not having these vital areas in balance in your life is what leads to most of our broken, damaged relationships – with friends, with family, with our spouse, with our co-workers at our job, It enters into how people treat us, how we communicate our needs, wants and desires, and how we are perceived in the world.
The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
– Jane Travis
Sixth Step is your relationship to others and the world. You can’t make everyone happy and it isn’t your job to do so. There are always going to be people who say that you are “not enough” – not good enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough . . . and so on. Those judgments are on them. They want to feel better by having their own problems being pushed off on to you. It is not your job to judge them back. To think that you have to show others what kind of “bad” people they are. Their true colors will come out without your help or assistance. Don’t blame others for your life, and don’t accept the blame for how they are living their own life.
Give. But don’t allow yourself to be used.
Love. But don’t allow your heart to be abused.
Trust. but don’t be naïve.
Listen. But don’t lose your own voice.
– thisislovelifequotes. net
There are more steps, breadcrumbs that you find along your journey. It all begins with a simple decision. Is this DAY ONE, or is this ONE DAY? You decide. What’s your story?
You tell me to quiet down cause my opinions make me less beautiful. But I was not made with a fire in my belly so I could be put out. I was not made with a lightness in my tongue so I could be easy to swallow. I was made heavy – half blade and half silk. Difficult to forget but not easy for the mind to follow.
– Rupi Kaur
Life gives us a lot of experiences. They run the whole emotional scale. We fall from ecstatic joy to pain that leaves us whimpering in the corner, wishing that death would come and take us away from it. Life gives us the experience of Heaven, Hell and every realm between. Like clay we are formed and molded by our life experiences. Like clay we go through the fire. But we have a choice about what that fire does to us. We can choose to become rigid, brittle and defined by those fires, so that everyone we meet hears about our horrific life. Or, we can choose to become refined by the fire, tempered by it and made stronger.
Some women fear the fire, some women simply become it . . .
– r.h. sin
Why would we fear the fire? Because when we are refined by the fire, it exposes us. We see the ugly parts of us, and we have to acknowledge that they are part of us. We can’t deny it, we can’t make it be less than it is, we can’t say it doesn’t exist, and that somehow that ugly bit of us is actually someone else’s fault. We can’t say I lost my temper and it was that persons fault or that they deserved us to go nuclear on them. The fire shines the light on us, and if we stand up in that light and acknowledge who we are, then we have the opportunity to transform it. We can release the negativity and shift it and change it into something better.
She wasn’t looking for a knight, she was looking for a sword.
We all have this mix of fairy tale dreams where we want someone to take care of us, and yet at the same time we fiercely do not want someone to fix us. We are not looking to be fixed. We are not broken and damaged and needing to be rescued. That is judging our experience when you don’t know our whole story. That is making assumptions of what our dreams are made up of. That is not understanding what our destiny is preparing us for. We don’t need a hero, we are one. What we need is a sword to cut out of us all of the parts that do not serve us, and do not belong as part of us.
Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.
– Stephanie Bennett Henry
Promise yourself that you can and will do better. Hold yourself to not looking back. Learn from the past but don’t live there. Leave the baggage at the airport and travel lightly through life. Anything that shattered you wasn’t meant for you. We have this habit sometimes of holding on to something that doesn’t serve us. We stay in the job, where we are experiencing bullying, where we are put down because we believe in some way it is true. We stay in a relationship that burns our soul, sacrificing ourselves because they say they love us even when their actions tell us it is a lie. Don’t continue to dance on the broken glass, thinking that we can somehow fix it. It will just slice our souls and shred our spirits.
You can’t let other people tell you who you are. You have to decide that for yourself.
At some point we have to change the situation. Instead of being battered by the storm, we have to become the storm. In order to thrive we have to become fearless in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. We have to put on our life jacket and abandon the sinking ship, with the knowledge that we will be okay. It might not be today or tomorrow, but the storm will always play itself out. The sun will shine again. You are valuable, you are a Goddess and you must firmly believe that with all of your heart and soul.
Her soul is fierce
her heart is brave
her mind is strong.
– r.h. Sin
She was powerful, not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.
This kind of power comes from the place of not needing anyone to validate who we are. To get to that space, we have went through the refining fires. We have exposed our vulnerable places, our ugly thoughts and actions. We have brought the light to all of the dark corners of our heart. When you have faced who you really are without the masks, without the excuses and justifications, fear gets burnt out of us. Fear is a choice, and we can choose not to live at its address any longer.
We need women who are so strong they can be gentle. so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational and so disciplined they can be free
– Kavita Ramdas
When we accept who we are, we lose false pride. When we own “this is who I am” fear loses its grip on us. We are ready. We are willing. It is time to go out and fight for our dreams. We no longer feel that we are obligated to prove our worth to anyone, and if they are demanding that we do so, we just walk away.
Once upon a time you were a little girl with big dreams that you promised you’d make real one day. Don’t disappoint yourself.
The winds scattered my leaves but my roots remained firm. They tried to wound me, but I grew stronger in the broken places. I wondered if I would survive, but then I saw a sparkle . . . My tiara was a little tangled perhaps but it never fell off after all.
– Jane Lee Logan
When we were children we touched dragonflies and reached for the stars. We talked to the moon and danced through the forest with the fairies. We saw wonder and believed in happy endings. What we may not have realized is that the happy ending, was just that moment in time. That there was more to the story. The heroes journey doesn’t end. They are always more challenges, more growth. Change, transformation, life continues ever onward. The end is never really the end.
Love your whole story even if it hasn’t been the perfect fairy tale.
– Melanie Moushigian Kouloruis
In the ups and downs of life, our story goes by the meaning we put too it. How many times have you heard of someone being laid off or fired? They are anxious, panicked, and feel like the world has ended. But at some point, they start their own business, or get hired at a new company and the next thing you hear is how losing that job was the best thing that ever happened. What changed? The meaning they were putting to their own story.
We long for a fairytales in a world full of nightmares.
It really is about the meaning that you give to what is currently happening in your life. We seem to feel that life should be all roses, and forget that the roses also have thorns. Is it a rosebush or a thornbush? Look at the fairy tales themselves. Peter Pan had Captain Hook, pirates and the Crocodile. Snow White had the Evil Queen and her minions. Ariel had her father, the Sea Witch. There are always obstacles, failures, dragons and demons. They help us to grow by overcoming them.
If I’m honest I have to tell you I still read fairy tales and I like them best of all.
– Audrey Hepburn
From the Genie in the bottle, we learned to form our wishes with a lot of thought and detail, because otherwise they will turn on us. We find helpers along the way. We fight through our fears. We become less judgmental and more compassionate as we see how hard life can be. We become better people. The reason why there is a happy ending, is that the characters did not give up.
Love is overcoming obstacles, facing each challenge with integrity. Love is difficult to define and it begins with learning to truly love ourselves. Love is realizing that they world or life, doesn’t just happen to us, it happens because of us. And every single challenge, obstacle, and opportunity that happens is worth it. It is worth it because when you believe in “YOU”, you can make anything happen.
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
– C.S. Lewis
I loved the Lewis Carroll line, “the best gift you could give her was a lifetime of adventures” because it comes back to the meaning that we give to what is happening in our lives. If you look at this as a lifetime of adventures, you can be Princess Lea, or Indiana Jones. If you look at the movies they played in, they had a lot of bad things happen. They lost loved ones, lost homes, failed in epic battles. But they also believed that in the end, good wins. And if your “good” isn’t doing so well right now, then it isn’t the end. You are still in the middle of your adventure. Or maybe you’re at the scene right before the end, where everything is dark and tragic and stacked up against you so high, there is no way you can win. But if you keep moving forward, no matter how hard that step by step is, you are about to get your second wind and turn it all around.
All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
– Walt Disney
We need both courage and imagination to live the life we dream of. I am a huge Princess Bride fan. This reminds me of two scenes in the movie – one is when Wesley is on the bed. He is still not fully recovered from being mostly dead. He can hardly move, and the prince comes in to finish him off. Wesley challenges him “to the pain” and describes in great horrific detail what will happen to him should they fight. The prince ends up giving up without a fight. The whole time Wesley was completely vulnerable, but he didn’t just give up. Using his creative imagination he bluffed his way into victory from a place of complete defeat. The other scene is when Inigo Montoya finds the six fingered man and starts fighting him. At one point it appears that he is going to die and fail to avenge his father. But then he gets that second wind and defeats him. Both stories had that climax when it seemed all was dark and failure was imminent. But they kept going, one using a bluff, and one using the years of training and preparation to win the battle.
I’m a romantic and I kinda believed in this fairy tale. And in some ways I think that’s always been to my advantage, because if you can believe in something great, you can achieve something great.
– Katy Perry
Every night you dream. In your dreams about your life are these seeds of greatness. Your heart and soul speak to you in dreams. They put a little soil around those seeds of greatness. They water them. They weed out of your life the things that don’t belong. They weed out the things that are holding you back. But at the end of the day, it is up to you to take those small plants and put them out into the world to grow into what they are supposed to be. We see it happen all around us everyday. People using their imagination and technology are out there creating products, businesses, services. They are giving back to their community. They are making a difference in the world, by doing what others say can’t be done. Then there are the ones who never transplant their dreams into the world, but hold them tightly in the dark spaces of their souls. They are so afraid of the dream, that they stunt it into a characticture of what it might have been.
A dream is a wish your heart makes.
Remember Mary Poppins – “Anything can happen if you let it.” Just because you lose a shoe at midnight, it doesn’t mean that you walk home barefoot. Maybe it means a new pair of dancing shoes! And who doesn’t want a new pair of shoes?
Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.
– Jon Bon Jovi
Passion is always calling to us. It pokes at us in our dreams. It shows up in the music we listen to, the movies we watch, the books we read. We see it everywhere and we unconsciously sweep it under the rug. We don’t have time for it right now. We have jobs to go to, bills to pay, children to raise. It becomes our someday mantra. Someday I will write poetry. Someday I will write the music that I hear in my head. Someday I will write down the story I have been telling my children and draw out the illustrations. Someday I will take that class at the local community college and learn more about that profession that is calling to me. We will live the life of our dreams someday. Someday we will listen to our hearts calling. Someday we will live it, breathe it, begin it.
Passion is living uncomfortably on purpose.
It is choosing to stay up late and wake up early.
It is choosing to forego certain luxuries, and sometimes even some necessities.
It is choosing to look foolish, even when you care what others think.
It is asking for advice and choosing not to take it.
It is being afraid and anxious, but going out of your comfort zone anyway.
Even though all of our “reasons” for not following our passion seem to be logical and reasonable, they are in fact killing your soul. It has this intense yearning to reach out and grow, and we are burying it and telling it we will attend to it later. Your time is limited. The cemetery is filled with people who died with their book, their music, their unexplored talents never allowed to grow into the marvelous creations that they could have been. My grandmother made the worlds best carrot cake. Her frosting was with cream cheese, but it was different than any frosting I have ever tasted. It wasn’t too sweet, which is where for my taste buds most cakes are ruined. It was a secret recipe and one day she had a heart attack and died and no one ever knew what her secret recipe was. Today decide to share your secret recipes. Today choose to live uncomfortably on purpose. Choose to look foolish and walk away from the comfortable life and let the fires of your passion direct you., Today choose to take the first step outside of your comfort zone,.
Always go with your passions. Never ask yourself if it is realistic or not.
– Deepak Chopra
When you step outside of that comfort zone, it is really scary. Others will say, “have you gone crazy?” But secretly in their hearts they are jealous. As they watch you take not only the first step, but step after step, what you are doing is giving them permission to gather up their own courage and take their own first step. Like when we try to do anything that is new, there will be failures. What is so interesting when you look backwards and review your journey, each of those failures are when you grew the most. For me, it has been learning from a self sabotage failure, expand my comfort zone, live in that space for a while, then another push out of the comfort zone, another failure, grow from the experience and live in the new comfort zone for a while and do it all again. Your own journey will show you a pattern. Each time we examine the pattern, we can tweak it to change the trajectory to be less failures, or less time in the new comfort zone, or add in anything that we think is missing from the process. The critical thing is just like following the trail of breadcrumbs that we keep following to where our passion is leading us.
You can’t do passion halfway. Living your passion means you’re all in. You trust your heart and trust your gut wherever that takes you.
– Joe Plummer
Too many people live an unfulfilled life. They have a daily existence of doing, but they are not really being. They wake up, go to a job that doesn’t fulfill them, come home and watch TV or take care of their families needs, but at no time is there time to live the life they dream about in their hearts. Don’t settle. Don’t just live in the rut and decorate it, thinking that will make it more bearable. We think that we are making others happy by denying ourselves. But you living a half lived life doesn’t benefit anyone. You are in fact robbing your family of knowing and loving who you really are. You are stealing from the world what gifts you brought to the world. You are telling your God, thanks for the seeds of genius that you planted in me, but I am not going to use them.
Respond to every call that excites your spirit.
Instead be scared of living a life without passion directing it. Be scared of living an unfulfilled life. Be scared of being dead, while you are still alive. Don’t put off your dreams one more day. Life is really pretty simple. Stop make it more difficult than it is. Start doing things that you love. Eat every last bite. Go our and start creating. Live your dreams out loud. Wear your passion in dramatic color.
Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping . . . waiting . . . and though unwanted . . . unbidden . . . it will stir . . . open it’s jaws and howl. It speaks to us . . . guides us . . . passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love . . . the clarity of hatred . . and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If you could live without passion maybe we’d know some kind of peace . . . but we would be hollow . . . empty rooms shuttered and dark. Without passion we’d be truly dead.
– Josh Whedon
Can you imagine this conversation between two people looking out over the water and seeing a hand reach up out of the water?
Can’t you see she is drowning?
She’s just doing that for attention.
Someone should help her.
If we acknowledge her, then she’ll never stop.
I think she is in danger.
She’s just feeling sorry for herself.
It’s too late now. She is gone.
Why didn’t she ask for help?
This conversation plays out in all of our lives at some time. For me it was my daughter was close to two years old,. She wasn’t talking. Literally no words. She had sounds, so she wasn’t mute. She just didn’t say mama or dada or anything. I had taken her to doctors and they determined that physically there was nothing wrong. She could hear fine. She understood what you were saying, she just couldn’t communicate back. So they said I should force her to talk. That she wasn’t talking because I gave her want she was trying to ask for. They said, “When she was indicating that she wanted something, don’t give it to her unless she says the word”. So we had a painful few months of following the doctors directions. Then I took her back and demanded to see some specialist. This issue was not that she didn’t want to say the words, the issue was that something wasn’t connecting correctly.
So we saw the specialist, and they couldn’t figure out anything that was wrong. So they told us to put her in daycare. They felt she wasn’t around enough children. Even though she had an older brother, cousins and friends her age from church – that wasn’t sufficient. So we put her in daycare, Another bad decision as it made her stand out. When they were sharing in circle time and she couldn’t verbalize her sounds into real words, she became even more withdrawn. So again, back to the doctors. Finally they authorized speech therapy., The area we lived in had a school she attended for four hours a day. They had a two to one ratio of speech therapist teachers who worked with her and the other children, who all had some sort of speech disability. Within 6 months she had a 100 word vocabulary and she was finally able to express herself. It took me one whole year to get her the help she needed.
I felt like I was having that conversation with those doctors, that I typed above I knew she had a problem and they were not listening or helping. They were just making things worse. Fortunately I kept after them until she got the help she needed. She had delayed speech, and it was an inherited condition. I discovered later that one of my grandfathers daughters from his first marriage had the same thing happen with one of her grandchildren. And my daughter had the same thing happen with a couple of her own children. It was not that she was doing it for attention. It was not that trying to help her get what she wanted but couldn’t tell us, was just encouraging bad behavior. She was asking for help.
Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.
Have you ever been the person asking for help? Did it feel like people were watching and talking, but no one could hear you through the water? This happened to me when I was 28 years old. I had been diagnosed with Glaucoma. They didn’t want to do surgery because I was so young. A lot of times when you are young and healthy, when they do laser surgery on your eyes, your eyes think that the surgery is a problem and “repair” the surgery back to what it thinks is the normal way for the eye to be. So we were trying out three different drugs. The first on didn’t work at all. The second one had a side effect of making me suicidal. I could tell it was making me depressed and giving me dark thoughts. I was struggling with it, but it was making me afraid to talk about it. I finally was able to tell the doctor what was happening and he put me on the third drug. Due to different side effects I ended up doing the surgery.
I was talking to my husband about the second drug and asking him if he couldn’t see what was happening. He said, that he could see it, but was so afraid of putting me over the edge I was balanced on that he did nothing. We talked about it for some time. I explained, that what that did was to make me feel like he didn’t care. That even if what he said or did was not the perfect thing, at least I would have known that he was trying, that he cared. Instead I felt abandoned and that he didn’t care about me. Like the woman in the story, I felt like I was reaching for help and he was just watching me drown.
We all have bad days. We all witness others having bad days. Sometimes those bad days turns into weeks and months and years. We are crying out for help. We feel abandoned. We all watch it happening to someone we know or love, and we don’t know what to do. So we do nothing, or we get bad advice from experts and do the wrong thing. What we need to do is go to divine source. The divine source speaks to us in our hearts. When we reach out to others from that space, even if what we do is not the perfect thing to do, they see that we are trying from a space of love and compassion. Not from a space of judgment, or making someone be wrong.
To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do, you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.
– Alan Watts
We need to realize when we are drowning and ask for help. We need seek deep within to find what it is that is currently trying to be exposed and released from our life. A wrong belief that is holding us hostage. A drug or alcohol addiction. A relationship that is killing us, but we won’t let go of. That we are trying to save someone, who is just taking us down with them. When we try to save broken people, we need to take care that we don’t cut ourselves on their broken pieces. So many patterns, addictions, issues of self sabotage. They need to be released so that we can again relax and float. Life sometimes takes us to the edge, but it is always within our control, it is our choice to be a victim, or we can decide that this life can and will be better and we are a thriver.
Life sometimes takes you into troubled waters not to drown you but to cleanse you.
So when we find ourselves in deep water. Relax and float. Reach out for help, but always remember it really comes down to being our own hero. No one else can fix us, and we can fix anyone else. It is always an inside job.
In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
– Deepak Chopra
Chaos is actually a good sign. It tells you that you are about to have a breakthrough. I love this photo – we literally have the elephant in the room. It is being ignored and creating chaos. Chairs and tables are being destroyed, dishes crashing to the floor, and she is sitting there like “what?” Chaos is one of the keys that tells us things are about to change. We have the ability to choose in this situation. We can continue to ignore the “elephant in the room” or we can acknowledge it and start to deal proactively with the changes happening in our life.
All great changes are preceded by chaos.
All of the great inventions have come from a place of chaos. When you think outside of the box, it is in a place of chaos. All of the possibilities are buzzing around your head, all trying desperately to get your attention. It is being willing to be told you are stupid and foolish to think that you can be an agent of change. A chaos agent. Someone who stirs things up. Look at the disruptors currently bringing change in our world. 3D printing is on the brink of being able to create organs that can be used to transplant and save lives. They are creating car parts, hearing aids, and implants.
Madness is somewhere between chaos and having a dream.
– R.M. Drake
Soon every piece of personal information, drivers license, credit cards, bank accounts, your id card for work will all be digital and take just your thumb print or a scan of a chip located within your body. Virtual reality will soon impact with endless possibilities beyond gaming. Our houses will soon be totally controlled with the “internet of everything”. More and more of everyday life will become fully automated, such as self driving cars. Think of every science fiction movie or book you have read and we are quickly approaching the implementation of that fantasy becoming our reality.
The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join in the dance.
– Alan W Watts
When life is crazy and the chaos is driving us mad – faith in the divine plan gives us an anchor. It keeps us steady in the raging storm, so that when the storm has passed, we can pick up the pieces of our life and carry on. It gives us a vision to hold on to that can keep us calm in the midst of the insanity. And if we are courageous, we can let go of the expectations of how our life should be and see instead how our life could be. When you let go of the expectations, you make space for something better.
Never mind your ideas of how things should look, your expectations of how things must be. Life will scramble all of that into an unrecognizable chaos. The difficulty, the joy, the privilege is in being undone and then creatively reshaping yourself into a form you never imagined could be so beautiful.
– Amy Larsen
When the chaos creates frustration, it is because we have become confused. A lack of clairity creates the frustration. It is a poisonous emotion, stopping us from achieving our dreams. We need to step out of this negative emotion, out of the darkness. Release the frustration and get back into curiosity about what is happening. Curiosity about what old belief we have outgrown that is expressing itself thorugh the frustration. And get curious about what new something is being born into our life.
Life has dark moments and it is out our darkness that we often find our greatest beauties and strengths.
– Bryant McGill
Chaos is only a problem when we get stuck in it. If in every place we go, the elephant is in the room wrecking all of the furniture, then we need to seriously examine our life. That kind of chaos is not a predictor of change, but rather an avoidance of making changes. Chaos is a bridge to take us from where we currently are in our life, to where we are seeking to go. A bridge makes the connection from one side ( where we are ) to the other side ( where we want to be ). You use it to travel across the river or lake, or across the ravine. You don’t park on the bridge and live the rest of your life there, afraid to go forwards or backwards. It is our self-identifying with the chaos, as though that is who we are, that will keep us in the darkness. While life and chaos will give us those dark moments, it is not who we are.
Change is growth. It is living life. It is about recognizing and being conscious of what the journey is teaching us about ourselves. Becoming conscious, becoming self aware. It is recognizing the elephant is in the room. Is it being self destructive and needing to be addressed? Or is it just sitting there waiting to be called into action?
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
– Carol Burnett
This photo so clearly explains why other people don’t get the transformations that we are being called to make in our lives. There are two different levels of perception here. And each person can only see their own level of perception. Both are true. I can explain what I see with twenty thousand words, and if your level of perception is contained in the world she is pulling away, dark depressing and dreary, you will never see the sunshine that I do.
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.
– Clint Eastwood
The better we know ourselves the better we can embrace change. Self knowledge is vital, because our subconscious minds run these programs behind the scenes. They like things exactly the way they are. They will try to keep us in our comfort zone. We need to let go of the old programs.
One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.
– Brigitte Nicole
Most of the fears that we have are fears of the unknown. Those fears are negative programing. They will keep you stuck in the shadows, in the dark. They keep us from perceiving what else is possible. I know that for myself when I have a medical issue, waiting for test results is the worst. My mind goes crazy thinking of all of the worst case scenarios. I am definitely in a dark place with wild imagining of brain tumors, cancer, a failing organ, and so on.
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.
But once I have a diagnosis, it all changes. Now I am researching and figuring out how to cure the issue and become healthy again. Now I have something tangible to work towards. The unknown has been removed and that fear is dissolved. I am free again to begin making positive changes for my health and my life.
May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.
– Nelson Mandela
That doesn’t mean that fear doesn’t show up again. It does. But if I am being honest with myself, I can identify the unknown piece that is creating the fear and remove the unknown piece with new knowledge.
If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.
– Gail Sheehy
How do I know when fear of the unknown is showing up in my life? For most of us it has shown up whenever we find ourselves avoiding something that needs to be done, or find that our progress towards a dream being slowed down. We begin to lose passion and fire towards the dream. We begin to feel like we are wading through the mud instead of flowing down the stream.
I just wanna go on more adventures. Be around good energy. Connect with people. Learn new things. Grow.
Whenever these feelings start to exist, it is time to get quiet in our minds. Then sit quietly and ask our inner knower what am I not seeing? What is it that is slowing me down or sidetracking me? What research can I do to bring light to this area?
I am on the hunt for who I’ve not yet become.
Once we identify the fear, then sit with it a while longer. See what lies beneath that fear. I can guarantee that there is always another layer. Fears tend to travel in packs like wild dogs. Each dog having its own fear. Once you think you have given each dog a name, now you can make it a tamer dog by addressing its own particular fear.
Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.
– Jim Rohn
You will know if you are successful because you will feel the energy and passion return to your dream. All of a sudden you will feel flow happening and that progress is being made. It is like a hose that has a kink in it. At first we are not getting any water pressure. But once we find the kink and straighten it out water comes pouring out at full force.
Change can be beautiful when we are brave enough to evolve with it, and change can be brutal when we fearfully resist.
– Bryant McGill
The key is to be paying attention to what is happening in your life. It is so easy to get lost and sidetracked. It is so easy for the fears so sneak up on you and gain control. It is also easy to stop and listen to your heart and soul for guidance.
It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop.
It takes practice to check in with yourself on a regular basis. Meditation and journaling are two practices that help us to keep track of where we are, and wake us up if we start to fall asleep.
If you enjoy and find our posts uplift you, will be excited that we will soon be releasing our first monthly daily journal. Each day will have four pages. The first page will be a beautiful color photo with a quote, the second and third pages will be the post that goes with it. Then a fourth page to journal your thoughts. We are hoping to have the first volume published by the end of November or beginning of December.
When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.
– Viktor Frankl
I know how much these writings help me to catch myself when I start to get sidetracked. They help me bring my energy back up into the higher vibrations which is such a vital part of bringing my dreams into reality. They remind me of what I have transformed in my past and give me courage that I can transform what is in front of me now. Truly, the better we know ourselves, the better we can embrace what is now changing in our lives.
Today I am discovering who I am. Today I am becoming my person, worthy of developing all of me. Today I am beginning to know that I am okay the way I am.
– Ruth Fishel
Discovering who we are requires that we go on a journey. We can’t become who we are trying to become by remaining where we are, or what we are. This journey begins with curiosity. Asking the hard questions of ourselves. Where am I going? What am I learning from what I read, what I listen to, what I am watching on TV? What do those I associate with have me thinking about? Are the answers to these questions what I want my life to be about? It isn’t chance that helps me to become what I am seeking. It is making transformational life changes that does that.
If we are always arriving and departing, it is also true that we are eternally anchored. One’s destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things.
– Henry Miller
When we start out on this journey of self discovery, we think that if we can just learn enough, take in enough knowledge that we will develop the wisdom to become the person we want to be. It is the natural first step, and many of us get lost in this first step. We do a lot of work, and it just doesn’t seem like we are making any progress. We keep departing, but it doesn’t feel like we are ever arriving. There is this gap. We keep stuffing it with creative ideas, and plans, and dreams – but it doesn’t seem like we are creating anything that truly bridges that gap. I love the word GAP – because it is Gods Area of Preparation. That is why it doesn’t seem like the bridge is ever getting completed. Don’t give up. Keeping fighting to reach the other side of the gap.
I love the person I’ve become, because I fought to become her.
– Kaci Diane
I remember the true story of an Olympic Athlete. She went to a sports camp as a child and demonstrated some talent with volleyball. The coach told her that if she worked hard, it would give her a scholarship to college. So she worked hard and when it came time, she wrote to the colleges with a good volleyball program and asked them to come see her play. She got her teachers to write letters about her and was successful in getting a full ride to college. Her senior year in college she was watching the Olympic Games and decided to chase the dream of being in the Olympics. So again, she wrote letters to come see her play and got her professors to write letters and was successful in getting into the tryouts. She spent a week in tryouts and worked hard, and even though she felt the other players were better she made it to the team. The team lived and worked in Southern California for 4 years to the next Olympic Games. During that time she realized that if she was going to be on the team that played in the games, she needed to tear her game down and rebuild it. Now think about this – she was good enough to get a full ride into college. In college she was All American. She tried out and was accepted on the Olympic Team. Obviously she was talented and skilled. But she knew that she could be more, so she fought to be more.
I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow. When there’s that moment of “wow, I’m not really sure I can do this” and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough.
– Marissa Meyer
So when we are having a bad day, week, month or year – that is something to remember. Sometimes we need to tear ourselves back down to the foundations of who we are, and rebuild. Take all of the lessons that we have learned in this life, all of the crazy experiences, hurts, blessings in disguise and know that none of it was a mistake. Find positive ways to be in the world. Make a difference, no matter how small it feels. We can be the change we want to see in our world. Be open to the challenge of change. Face our fears of not being enough, not knowing enough, and do the things we know need to be done, even if it terrifies us. Love who and what you are, and who you are becoming. Trust that you have within you everything that you need to do so. Believe in yourself. Wish upon the stars and then put faith in that wish coming true.
Do not confuse the word “belief” with the word “wish”. The two are not the same . . . the element of faith is the only sure power by which a wish may be translated into a belief, and a belief into a reality.
– Napoleon Hill
It can be really scary, to keep going when we are in the stage of moving mountains. We see the pain, the heartache, the mistakes that we are making along the way. We judge ourselves, we cower in fear and wish it would all just go away and leave us here in the middle of the floor, just a shapeless puddle of confusion and fears. But what makes us powerful, is when we get up, shake off the confusion, face the fear and walk in in the power of who we really are. When we remember that it isn’t what happens to us. It isn’t the mistakes we made along the way that define us. What defines us is who we chose to become in spite of all of it. We are at the end of the journey, the only one who is responsible for who we become. We are always a work in progress. Each day is a new day. A new pattern of thoughts. A new wave of emotions, A new belief that we can truly become what we wish to become.
You’ll learn as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your own terms, and never ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though everybody is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit it.
– Mandy Hale