We Don’t Have To Agree, In Order To Be Kind To One Another
“We find comfort among those who agree with us – growth among those who don’t” – Frank A. Clark
It is interesting how as a human you tend to want everyone to think just like you do. In my family, we like to have “conversations”. When my grandmother was alive it was so interesting to listen to all of the adults after dinner. She would usually introduce a topic that she knew some of my aunts or uncles wouldn’t agree on.
Then she would come at that topic in several different directions. She was a researcher, and in her past had taught school in a country school with all the grades together. She was really smart and if you were going to come at another viewpoint than hers, you had better know your stuff.
I grew up with it being normal to have conversations with others about conflicting viewpoints. There never were any fights or loud voices. No one was ever judged as wrong, just different.
So, raising my kids, we would also talk about things that we don’t agree with each other on. My youngest son and I are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. We all give each other a hard time, but it is with a joke encapsulating it.
No name calling or escalating into arguments. Because whatever your viewpoint is about something, if you have an open mind, you can find some good points in almost any viewpoint that you can agree on.
He is pro guns and very conservative. I am the “hippy” who still believes that someday we will really be a global civilization and get along.
What is so interesting is that we both have examples of the others’ beliefs that we can poke fun at, and we have lots of stuff that we are totally on the same page about. The reason it works for us, is that we realize that as we grow and shift and transform, sometimes those viewpoints that we have held to for years, also change. What you felt strongly about at 5 yrs. old; at 15 yrs. old; at 25 yrs. old; at 50 yrs. old will not be the same things.
Be a freethinker
“Freethinkers are those who are willing to use their minds without prejudice and without fearing to understand things that clash with their own customs, privileges, or beliefs. This state of mind is not common, but it is essential for right thinking. Where is it absent, discussion is apt to become worse than useless” – Leo Tolstoy
You don’t have to compromise your convictions to be kind to one another. You don’t need to buy into being in fear of others, just because they are different.
People are not meant to be matching bookends to you. It really doesn’t matter what your political viewpoint is; what your skin color is; what your culture is; what sexual orientation that you identify with. It doesn’t matter what your religion is.
Imagine if you were to sit down and fill out a survey about any of the important things in life. Things like being able to feed your family; having a safe place for them to live; having adequate medical care; equality – both for racial relations and work wages.
I think that the survey would reflect you could agree on all of those things universally viewed as being important. You might differ in how you think it should happen, but those small differences should never escalate into hatred and violence.
Spread #love, not hate. Spread #peace.
Have you ever become best friends with someone that you didn’t agree with? It is possible to love someone that you totally disagree with about certain issues. My husband and I have been married for almost 49 years. Our politics are on the opposite side of the spectrums, and our religious views are not the same. But in comparison to how much we had in common, those things don’t interfere with our loving each other.
Even though we are in different political parties, I can acknowledge the good in his viewpoints. We agree that we can have our own religious views and still love one another.
I think it is part of what has made us successful in our marriage. We are best friends even though we don’t have the same beliefs about every single subject.
The more we can see the humanity in one another, the harder it is to hate someone. No one should ever be judged wrong, just because someone else doesn’t agree with every word they say.
You don’t know what is going on in someone else’s life. Something as simple as a smile has turned a stranger who was walking down the street away from suicide.
If you could just be kind to everyone you meet, that simple act of kindness could save a life. Be a heart that listens, and throw kindness around like confetti! Be aware of opportunities around you to be kind.
I love the video called Life Vests Inside – Kindness Boomerang’s – One Day. You can watch it on “YouTube”. https://youtu.be/nwAYpLVyeFU
It starts off with a young boy falling off his skate board. A man with a orange vest like a road worker helps him up. Then the boy sees an elderly lady crossing the street and having trouble holding on to her bags of groceries, so he puts down his skate board to help her. Then the elderly lady sees a young woman trying to find coins for a parking meter and hands her some coins, and it continues on to end back up with the road worker being given a cold glass of water. What I loved about it is that they included young and elderly; men and women; white, black, brown races; rich business man and homeless man. Everyone had a chance to both give and receive kindness.
The growth comes from really understanding that there can be different perspectives. From understanding how what has happened in another person’s background could create a different belief system.
We have this idea that someone has to be wrong and someone has to be right. You should never judge another’s choices unless you have a thorough understanding of their reasons for making those choices.
This thinking would mean that in almost all cases, there is room in your world for more than one belief. Obviously we are not talking about harmful conduct.
“The best ideas emerge when very different perspectives meet” – Frank Johannsson
The analogy of the map and directions fits here. If you are going to San Fernando Valley from Ventura, CA, you might take the 101 to the valley or you might take the 101 to the 23, which becomes the 118.
Which way you go, would depend on where in the valley you were going and what traffic was like. The 101 tends to be tied up with traffic more often and the 23/118 would probably be faster, again depending on where in the valley you were driving to.
I could argue for one and you could argue for the other. I could have experienced a faster time one day, and you could have experienced a faster time the other way on a different day. Depending on the circumstances the wrong or right answer would change.
Most things in life are that way – it all depends on the circumstances and the perspective you are currently viewing life through.
Regardless of which view you had, you could still be kind. You could still show respect. You could still hold yourself to a higher standard of grace and elegance when having a discussion. You could still try to achieve the same goal, getting to San Fernando Valley.
So be kind. Be compassionate. Be respectful. Express your beliefs with grace and tolerance. Spread #love, spread #peace.
Love Must Prevail
It’s inspiring to see that in response to one person’s darkest, most violent actions, humanity can still come together in an effort to win with the power of love. The link below takes you to the Broadway site where you can buy the song “What the World Needs Now is Love” that they recorded for $1.99 and support the victims of this horrible tragedy. Watch the video, it brings a smile to your face and peace to your heart.
http://www.broadwayrecords.com/shop/broadway-for-orlando-what-the-world-needs-now-is-love-mp3
Life is short. Do what you love to do.
I found out yesterday that my dentist passed away the day after Christmas. We had become good friends over the years and it really hit me, because I had been in his office just a few days before he passed away. He was just a few years older than me, and we would often talk about all of the things we would do when we retired. Now he will not do any of those things. So here are a few things that I have been thinking about, since hearing this news. Life is short. Do what you love to do. If you don’t like something in your life, then change it. You are the only one who can. If you are looking for your soul mate, then become the person your soul mate is looking for. Open your mind, it is the only way to learn something new. Open your heart and let down the drawbridge that is keeping everyone else out. Open your arms and hug someone like you mean it. Travel some place new every year. Take out that bucket list that you are saving for when you retire. Go out and do those things now. Dance in the rain, splash in the puddles. Release the wild abandon of your inner child. Live your dreams, Create wondrous events in your life. Succumb to the life you really want, but are afraid to have. Eat chocolate. Drink wine. Laugh often. Be proud of the wrinkles on your face, because they show what a wonderful life you are living. Don’t wait until your are old to wear purple, big hats, and foolish grins.
If you want to soar in life, you must first love yourself
If you want to soar in life, you must first love yourself.
“You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you” – Dodinsky
So many of you have put the cart before the horse when it comes to love. You spend all of your time “earning” the love of others by being who they want you to be. By doing everything in your power to make their life perfect. You put others ahead of yourself and at the end of the day, nothing turns out the way you wanted it to. You are left feeling like a failure, just “not good enough”.
There is a show on PBS called “Home Fires”. It takes place in England during WWII. It’s about a women’s group that contributes to the village and the war effort. In the first season there is one woman whose husband abuses her. Like all abusers he makes every time he loses his temper to be her fault. The real issue at hand for the story line is that he is a newspaper writer who can’t get enough work, so of course he takes it out on someone he is supposed to love.
A few of her best friends figure out what is happening, but at the point in history there really isn’t anything they can do about it. She is too ashamed to admit what is happening. The times that she struggles to fight back, he leaves her self-worth in even more tatters. At the end of the first season, one of her friends was successful in getting him a war correspondent job without him being aware of her having a hand in it.
He leaves the village to go to the front, and now his wife has the opportunity to start loving herself and building up her self-esteem. The hope being that she doesn’t fall back into the same situation when he returns. One of the underlying contributors of why women stay in abusive situations is that they don’t love themselves enough to gather up what remains of their self-worth and self-trust, to leave and not look back.
“Love yourself enough to take the actions required for your happiness. Love yourself enough to cut yourself loose from the ties of the drama filled past. Love yourself enough to move on” – Dr. Steve Maraboli
You may not be in such an extreme situation with your self-love, but you only have to listen to the comments you make to yourself, to know that it is something you can still do more work on.
When you live your life in such a way that reflects, you’re coming in last, you buy into a lie. A lie that loving yourself first will take away from loving others. A lie that says the only way to be worthy of self-love, is to prove that others love you first. How could you attract the love of others, if you don’t even love yourself?
Trying to in essence purchase the love of others by the self sacrifice of yourself, is like trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. You can push it, twist it, and pound the peg until it shatters, but it will never fit. It won’t fill that yearning from your soul, that begs you to put “love us” first.
5 Things to Quit – right now.
- Trying to please everyone
- Fearing Change
- Living in the past
- Putting yourself down
- Overthinking
You have the power to choose where you are going. You have the power to stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you most. You have the power to stop hating your body, your personality, and the pieces of you that don’t fit in the square hole.
You can start with loving yourself, saying “I love my thighs just as they are”, “I love my imperfect smile”, “I love that I snort when I laugh”, “I love me”. You can get the truth of the situation into your bones – nobody will ever love you more than you love yourself.
It is critically important to your health and happiness – both physical and mental – that you treat yourself right.
What if for the rest of this year you devoted yourself to loving you more? Your choices will change your life.
Make peace with your mirror and watch your reflection change. The loss of judgment in your eyes. The removing of the wrinkles of anxiety across the forehead, that you aren’t good enough. The curve of the smile of self-confidence, that says you are amazing, and you are rocking that outfit. The glow of inner peace and love that fills your space with light. And – LOL – Best hair day EVER!
True Friendship
Meet Pattie Pig and her canine best friends Pickles and Paprika. One morning the animal shelter employees came to work to find them and a turtle left for the shelter. The turtle who was not bonded to the trio was quickly adopted. Pattie, Pickles and Paprika are having a harder time, as they really need to go to one home.
“They sleep together. They do everything together, go for walks together. The littlest one rides the pig’s back, and they’re like a real family,” Sarah McKillip, manager of the Animal Rescue League of Berks County, recently told WFMZ-TV.
The only thing they can’t do together is eat, and that’s because Pattie is too much of a — well, you know. “Pattie will eat their food. She’s a pig,” McKillip tells The Huffington Post.
“The staff, we cry about it when we think about separating them, and I’m getting emotional right now. I don’t want to separate them, so please come help,” McKillip said to WFMZ-TV.
So here’s what you need to know, to get these three special critters: The dogs are small, playful and easygoing. The pig is 120-pounds, is an indoor pet and — clearly — has a lot of character.
Their adoption fees are covered. If you’re out of state and interested — or even just want to talk about fostering before committing to a permanent adoption — still, give the shelter a ring.
see more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…/pig-and-2-dogs_564cefd7e4b0…
Fear is like the Wizard of Oz
Fear is like the Wizard of Oz, projecting itself onto the screen, when in reality it is a small man behind the curtain. Don’t be afraid to move the curtain and expose the fear. Finding the blessing in the fear, is the opportunity to open your heart and mind to the idea of change and reinvention.
Sometimes we consciously choose to change. Other times we stumble upon ( notice the word stumble) an opportunity. Sometimes you trip over something and you catch yourself before the fall, hopping across the floor as you regain your balance. Other times you can trip over something that plants you face on the ground, and has you digging rocks off your skin. Either way there are still choices to make.
Change is an opportunity to reinvent yourself. This is where the stress really hits you fully in the face. Picture the scene in Jurassic Park when the dinosaur screams into the characters face and you can see the hair being blown back by the sheer force of the scream – that is the fear that you feel when presented with the opportunity to reinvent yourself.
The classic opportunities for reinvention tend to come from two things. With a heartbreak such as; losing a job, ending a relationship, the death of a close friend or family member. The classic “good but scary” opportunities for reinvention are; you go away to college, you move to a new town with a new job, you get the really big promotion such as those COO, SEO, CFO types of promotions or the best of all, you decide to be an entrepreneur and your own boss. You fill in the blank that is closest to your life today.
Bringing an idea to life is hard work. You can expect it to cost you more personally, financially, and maybe even reputationally than you thought it would. There are sleepless nights. You become a master of second guessing your choice to make this move.
But like the early explorers in Mexico to truly re-invent yourself you need to burn the boats. Take away the lifeline and go all out for what you are passionate about. Follow your bliss. Look at what is working and not working. What you love to do and hate to do. The key is to get immersed in what you are passionate about and hire help for the rest.
Ways to make it easier: Surround yourself with people who love to learn, share and build. Join or create a mastermind group with people who are putting their ideas into action. Seek out those in your community who solve problems and ask for suggestions. Create that special group of people who will be your cheerleaders, helping you to remain positive and take the risks that need to be taken, instead of holding yourself back.
And remember the three most important words in your fear busting vocabulary: Improvise, Adapt, Overcome
Fly
Great Friday advice – honor that there are people who you amaze, that get excited about you, honor that and fly with it. With that feeling you could fly to the moon and back!
We are all born to make a difference in this world – many are called but few respond. Don’t waste your purpose. Fly, fly, fly!!!
Hearts
It can be hard to look past the anger and defensiveness we see from others, but what would we see if we looked into their hearts?
Breathe in the Love
This song was composed for LemonadeMakers. It was based on a poem I wrote for my nephews memorial. When tragedy strikes in our lives, it is what is most important. To breathe in the love.
http://bit.ly/1yMBUgx
