It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.
There are times when something so tragic happens that it stains our souls. People will talk for days to try and understand why it happened, and what can be done to prevent it from happening. They will dig up every nuance of the person who did the unspeakable to try and say, “this thing here is the reason”. It will create conversations, and arguments over what law could be passed that would prevent it from happening again. We do this because, we want to validate that we are not in danger of becoming a monster.
The experts will talk for days about what causes someone to become so radical that they will take a strangers life. Whether they walk into a movie theater and start shooting, or they drive a car into a crowd of people, or they bomb a concert – it is always what could cause a person to do this? The families and friends will wonder how could we miss that someone they know would have this sickness?
All of our humanity is dependent upon recognizing the humanity in others.
– Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Fears can cause a person to become unbalanced, and turn into a monster. It is the ultimate destination of misplaced and out of control fear. This cage of fear smothers a persons humanity, until they strike out at others like a wild beast that has been cornered. It begins in small ways. You may walk by someone being bullied, and you hurry past looking away so they don’t see that you are witnessing it. You don’t want to become involved.
You may listen to family members that practice mental cruelty to another family member, with unmerciful teasing and taunting and belittling. You become warped in your beliefs that “this is just the way life is”. You soon find yourself being attracted to the hateful speech of others. You identify with being a victim of social injustice. Step by step you walk in this path, blaming others for your lack of success or misfortune. You allow your fears to make up stories in your head, and step by step your humanity is lost. Most people don’t walk off the edge of sanity. They start paying attention to the hate and lies being told by radical groups and slowly they become another damaged life. They become lost souls..
Fear can weasel into our lives in softer ways. It is our fears that hold us back from honest communications. At work, at home, at school, relationships are lost because we don’t communicate with each other. We are afraid to be hurt, to be misunderstood, to be unloved, and so we don’t open up our hearts and say what we feel inside. Instead we make up stories as to how the other person will react, and we close ourselves off. We fence ourselves off, and we lose. Despite our efforts to protect ourselves we end up with broken hearts. No relationship can survive if we don’t learn to have heartfelt open communication, as reflected by the high divorce rates and abandoned friendships.
In my early 30’s I was laid off from work and my particular industry in Southern California had been hit hard with layoffs. No one was hiring and my family ended up moving into my parents basement while I looked for work out of state. During this time my Aunt visited from Oregon, and the three of us went to lunch on the Santa Cruz Boardwalk with her. During lunch we had a conversation around what was happening, and I expressed how hurt I was because of something my mom said. I don’t remember what she said, just that it triggered the feeling in my that I was never “good enough” for my mom. With my aunt acting as a referee, my mom heard me for the first time. This feeling came from a time when I was a child. I had swept the kitchen floor and after I was done, she took the broom from me and showed me all of the places I had missed. From that moment on, I always felt I could not please her. That she would always find fault. She had no idea I had ever felt that way. We were able to heal a wound that had festered inside of me for years.
Fear can only rule our minds when we let it. We have the ability to challenge these fears when they come up inside our heads. We can question where this belief is really coming from. We can ask it, “are you 100% sure that this is the truth?” We can master the fear with courage. It is only when we are living a life of courage, that we can truly be free.
Fear is not always a bad thing. We might be walking home one night. We might consider taking a short cut on a path through the trees. After the first few steps, the hair on the back of our head starts standing up and our mind is shouting, turn around, this isn’t safe. So we turn around and walk down the lighted street to go home. The next day we hear that someone was robbed taking that shortcut. The fear we felt saved us.
Most of the time however, fear is not our friend. It robs us of our freedom. It claims to keep us safe, but instead it locks us in a cage. It robs us of a fully lived life. We never attempt to live out our dreams, because we are afraid of failing. I read a story in the news about a woman who was robbed at a Walmart in Oregon. A man stole her bicycle and she was yelling for someone to help her. This cowboy had his horse in the horse trailer, so he backed the horse out, and took off after the thief. He actually caught up to him, used his rope to lasso him, and dragged him back to Walmart and the police. The cowboy was a champion bull rider and has now been named “The Lone Ranger” and “the John Wayne of Southern Oregon”. He says he was just trying to do the right thing. After turning the thief over, he put his horse back into the trailer and went home to take care of his cattle.
Humanity should be our race. Love should be our religion.
This is a man who has faced his fears. There are far more people in the world like him. People that help others. People who don’t turn away when they see injustice. People who believe in doing the right thing, and who demonstrate those beliefs with actions. There are even more of us that want to follow that example. If you light your candle, and stand in the darkness, you lend your courage to others to do the same. Each person can light their candle from the flame you are shining out into the darkness. If we each take a stand for living a more fearless life, the world will shift. This is what living our purpose and living our dreams is all about. We don’t hide our light under a basket, but rather we shine our light out into the world. I believe that living this kind of life, keeps that monster from being created in the first place.
Have you ever felt like you have a recurring theme in your life? Something that keeps showing up over and over again?
All of us have gold hidden within, but we have to dig to get it out.
– Joyce Meyer
When I was 4 years old I went through a trauma that said it wasn’t safe to be seen or heard. I then spent most of my adult life trying to figure out why I always seemed to have one foot on the gas, and one foot on the brake. Most of us experienced something in our early childhood, from conception through the 8th year or so, that became an unconscious program running in the background of our decision making process.
Scars are just a treasure map for pain you’ve buried too deep to remember.
– Jodi Picoult
I went for professional help because I had buried the memory, and could remember nothing of my childhood until my first day of school. Once I uncovered the memory, I could see how this one experience had impacted my entire life. I had become stuck in my own life, and it was like the car stuck in the mud. The wheels were spinning, but all that was happening was that I was throwing dirt all over the place. Now that I could see how the car was stuck in the mud, I could use tools to get back onto the dry road, and get moving on my own journey of personal transformation.
The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.
– Neil Gaiman
We all have these buried treasures that we were gifted with to share with the world. At some point in our life, someone or something happened that convinced us they were worthless pieces of trash. So feeling guilty, embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid, we buried them deep inside of ourselves. Piece by piece, they must be dug up, polished up, and shared. It is these treasures which will shift the world to a better place for all of us. I write to share my treasures with everyone. I am working very hard to help the nonprofits be able to share their treasures with the world. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book “Big Magic” called this “strange jewels” which are buried within us, waiting to be uncovered.
You have extraordinary treasures hidden within you. Bringing forth those treasures takes work and faith and focus and courage and hours of devotion.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
Most of us spend our lives looking outside of ourselves for fulfillment. If we are the perfect child, the perfect student, the perfect spouse or parent, or the perfect employee, then we will be fulfilled. Nothing outside of ourselves can really provide long lasting validation, security or love. We can get temporary fixes which fail, and then we are on our way to the next partner, or job. Or we condemn ourselves as failures and stop seeking any kind of love, security or fulfillment.
Sometimes we spend our whole lives running away from ourselves and the pain that lives within us. We bury it down deep and convince ourselves that it too much to bear. But in that pain is great treasure. There is beauty in the depths of our souls, where we have hidden our gifts. The great religious leaders recognize the truth of this.
We are all jars of clay, fragile and poor, yet we carry within us an immense treasure.
– Pope Francis
Every moment of our life is wrapped up in change. Every truth of today, will not necessarily be the truth tomorrow. New discoveries in science, uncover and shifts the foundations of what we know. Technology is constantly changing all aspects of our life. In the same way, as we dig and uncover what lies deep within ourselves, we reach new truths about ourselves. We become more conscious, more awake. The Founder of Agape International Spiritual Center, Michael Beckwith took it a step further in reflecting that these divine gifts and priceless treasures were given to us to help shift not just our own consciousness, but the consciousness of the world.
We are on the planet to …, wrap our consciousness around the divine treasure within us.
– Michael Beckwith
We all have these treasure maps inside of us, which lead us to the divine treasure of love. Love of Self, Love of God and Family, Love of the World. We are all diamonds in the rough, and the journey through this divine love reveals the beauty of the diamond within us.
In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be.
– The Dreamer
We are all born dreamers. All you have to do is watch any small child. You can see their dreams, their imaginations running wild. They create whole worlds with blankets and pillows, some Legos and Hot Wheels, Dinosaurs and some plastic green Army Men. Whatever they can get their hands on. If you give them a few tools they will cut and saw out some boards and hammer together a space ship, then put on their capes to go out to save the world from alien invaders. But the horrible thing that happens to some of us, is that we let go of our dreams. We become realists and make our possibilities into a small safe comfort zones.
There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
– Robert Orben
We need to destroy our comfort zones and remember that we are dreamers and we have unlimited potential. Your dreams were designed to custom fit your personality. If we let them, they will continue grow and expand as we do. They will follow us all of our days, growing greater and grander as we do. When Walt Disney was laying in the hospital dying, he had his newest dreams taped up on the ceiling so that he could look up at them and continue to plan their realities. As long as you continue to learn, to grow and expand, so will your dreams. Dreams are our future realities, waiting in the wings to come out on the stage of life.
The dreamers of the day are dangerous people. For they dream their dreams with wide open eyes, and make them come true.
– D.H. Lawrence
I am always amazed when I read an old science fiction book or look at some of the drawings of someone like Leonardo Da Vinci. He created on paper the bicycle, the helicopter, and an airplane. What powerful dreamers they were. At the time, they were writing about a future they could only see in their minds eye. They made up inventions that had us deep within the oceans, that had us exploring the galaxy, that had us beaming a person from the land mass of a planet, up through space and into the interior of a space ship.
Great dreams of great dreamers are always transcended.
– A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
Over time, inventors have been catching those concepts or thoughts, and they have been bringing them into reality. They invented deep sea diving suits, and submarines and special mini subs that could go even deeper. We have the ability to see the ocean floor from satellites deep in space. They took us to the moon and back. Now we go back and forth on a regular basis to a space station. I saw a news piece about how someone is building personal small helicopters that will fly themselves and be used in the near future to take us to work. While this isn’t the flying car that turns into a brief case we saw on the George Jetson cartoons, it is getting closer to a reality.
All successful people, men and women, are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision.
– Brian Tracy
When you are a dreamer that puts action steps into your dreams, you discover a number of things. You discover what hard work really looks and feels like. You discover the real cost of sacrificing everything to make the dream into reality, and you discover that the price isn’t as large as fear told you it would be. You discover that every time you fall down, every time it doesn’t work out like you thought it would, that every single failure, is just a way to show you a new viewpoint into what you are bringing into the worlds reality. You discover that failures are just stepping stones to greatness.
Do not let the fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists . . it is real . . . it is possible . . . it’s yours.
– Ayn Rand
Every night you tossed and turned trying to figure out the right way, and all of the struggles you have or will go through, are in the end are the price tag of the ever expanding new you. Each and every price tag that you pay for .. . every single failure, is what is leading you to the mastery of the idea, and the fulfillment of the concept. The steps of the completion of the dream, becomes a part of the never ending journey to which we all sign up for. You gain a true understanding of the words, “it is not the destination that matters, but who we are becoming along the way”.
Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
– Oscar Wilde
Sometimes you just need an adventure to cleanse the bitter taste of life from your soul
One of the processes many of us go through at the end of the year is to go through the year that is passing. We look at our highlights, both good and bad. The successes we celebrate and the failures we sift through for the good pieces hidden in the ashes. I think that one of the things to plan for the new year is an adventure. It could be as simple as a hike up into the mountains where we can just sit in the silence and commune with our soul. Or it could be that we take a trip to somewhere we have never been.
It could be within driving distance of where we live or we could travel to a foreign country. What it needs to be is an experience that is something totally out of our comfort zone. Doing this gives us a new perspective in our life. It shifts our viewpoints and sometimes it changes our life in unforeseen ways.
The secret of making dreams come true can be summarized in four C’s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy; and the greatest of these is confidence
– Walt Disney
When we take the time at the end of the year or the beginning of the new year to look at our life, we need to be gentle with ourselves. Going deep within using Disney’s four C’s will unlock things in our heart, soul and mind that we didn’t know where there. In talking to my life/business coaches a thought floated to the surface around money. Years ago, when I would be in a discussion around money with my husband, I would say I wanted to have something physical to show in my hands for the money that I spendt. I haven’t said this for years, but it brought to the surface a belief about money that was hidden within me that needs to be released. When you approach these hidden beliefs without judgement, but instead curiosity it becomes so easy to let them go.
To breathe your own truth is your heart’s most burning desire. To live your purpose is your soul’s lifelong dream.
Don’t be at war with yourself when you look at the blocks that you have. We all have some beliefs, which block the path to our soul’s dream. Instead get curious. Give your basic life tools the chance to work, by working with them. Meditation, journaling, routines to take care of your health, living in gratitude for what each day has brought to you. Instead of challenges, you believe that you have opportunities for growth.
Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.
– Dr. Steve Maraboli
Taking down the walls you have been building your whole life to expose yourself as you really are. True freedom doesn’t have limits to who you can be. Taking up the practice of something new to grow your soul is completely dependent on your realizing it doesn’t matter that you do it well or badly. Just that you do in fact do it. You are the one who decides that an experience or change in your life is personal growth, or that it creates personal fears. Get curious and give yourself the love that you give so freely to others. Be a soothing balm to your soul.
Don’t be beautiful. They keep saying that beautiful is something a girl needs to be. But honestly? Forget that. Don’t be beautiful. Be angry, be intelligent, be witty, be klutzy, be interesting, be funny, be adventurous, be crazy, be talented – there are an eternity of things to be other than beautiful. And what is beauty anyway but a set of letters strung together to make a word? Be your own definition of amazing, always. That is so much more important than anything beautiful, ever.
– Nikita Gill
Audrey Hepburn to me is what this quote is talking about. She grew up in Belgium and was involved in fighting against the Nazi’s. She was a professional dancer and began acting just to help support her mom. At the time she wasn’t considered a beauty. Her body wasn’t the right shape, her eyebrows too bushy. But she lived her life as she wanted and because she wasn’t afraid to be who she was, she became an icon.. She won a Tony, an Oscar and Grammy and is one of only 12 people to win all three. She insisted that Hubert de Givenchy design all of her clothes for the movies she was in. She later stepped away from Hollywood and concentrated on he work as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF. I love her quote, “I’m Possible” for impossible as well as several others. She was an eternity of things, including beautiful and to me a wonderful example of living her life on her own terms.
There is a saying, if you want to change your life, change your thoughts. Thoughts are like a series of stepping stones across a river. Some of the stones are slippery from the moss as the water runs over them. Some of them are unstable and rock as you step on them. Some of the stones are tilted with edges that cut like a knife and hard to walk across. Some of the stones are firmly planted like a foundation stone. We can’t cross the river without stepping on the stones. We choose the stones to step on. Each stone we walk across, becomes part of our life’s path. Some trip us up and we fall into the water. Some support us, some don’t. Life demands change, but it always comes back to us choosing.
We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.
– Max Depree
I am listening to the Lord of The Rings soundtrack as I write this. The Lord of the Rings is one of my favorite books and it really exemplifies change, with the journey of the characters. Some like Frodo and Samwise were challenged to greatness. They had failures when it seemed like the evil of the ring would destroy them. They wanted to give up, because what was asked of them was so hard. They kept walking towards their destination and that journey forged them, like a hammer hitting them again and again as they walked through the fiery tests. Each challenge brought them closer to the great characters they had the potential to be.
Inspiration and growth only come from adversity and from challenge – from stepping away from what’s comfortable and familiar and stepping out in the unknown
– Ben Saunders
Boromir failed in his duty. Gollum swung from bad to good to bad again. Saurman fell from being a protector of the world to its destroyer. So many were tested and found wanting, not because it was their destiny to fail, or that they were inherently evil. It was because they stopped trying to be good and wise. It was easier to let the bad take over. Sometimes we think that we have lost of the best part of us, like when Gandalf went down into the fires with the Balrog, and we don’t know how we can continue. It seems like all is lost. But like Gandalf coming back as a new being, we can always be reborn. As long as we keep walking, the way will open before us. When we push the edges of the known universe, we discover new lands to explore.
I always find beauty in things that are odd and imperfect – they are much more interesting.
– Marc Jacobs
Have you ever monitored the thoughts that cross your mind? The things you think, but filter and so don’t say? An interesting exercise is to sit on a bench at a mall, park or beach – somewhere where there are lots of people. Turn on the recording button on your phone and just record your thoughts as you watch the people walk by. When you replay it, notice if the majority of your thoughts were positive or negative. Where you funny? Quirky? Profound? Think about your favorite TV shows or movies. The characters in the book, movie, TV shows that you remember and fall in love with, are the ones that are quirky – Spock or Data from Star Trek, or maybe the science nerd from NCIS Abby or Dr. Mallard. Punky Brewster with the funny socks. The characters on The Big Bang Show. The list goes on and on. Find the beauty in you being you.
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
– George Bernard Shaw
Asking yourself questions about your thoughts can provide useful insight into thoughts that you can work on changing. Whenever anything went wrong for my mom, she had a habit of saying, “I could just kill myself”. She didn’t even realize she was saying it until one day my son said to her after something happened, “I know grandma you could just kill yourself”. She was horrified that she had said this so often that her young grandson said it back to her, and she stopped saying it.
Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere.
As you get curious and not judgmental about the thoughts, dig beneath them to see what patterns are in your life that you didn’t realize were there. We all have them. How many times have you been driving to or from work and realized that you are missing moments in your drive – that suddenly you are home or at work and you don’t remember part of the drive? Shifting the patterns is what makes real transformation of your thoughts. I have hated spiders since I was a kid and got bit when I was sleeping on my hand. When I was talking a college creative writing course years ago, they had us read a book by Sue Hubbell. Her husband and her were both professors at a University and he decided one day to walk away from tenure and go live in the Ozarks. A few months later, he left Sue also and she wrote about that year in her life where everything fell apart and she was left with no money and no job and a house in the middle of nowhere.
Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
– Wayne W. Dyer
Each chapter was written around something in nature. One chapter was about spiders. When I finished that chapter, my relationship with spiders changed. While I still don’t “like” them, I am no longer terrified of them. This chapter for me highlighted the fact that when we learn more about something, it changes our relationship with it. It takes the fears away, because we removed the unknown from the equation. When you go beyond what you think is real, you step into the unknown. While the unknown is filled with fears, each day our relationship with it changes, because more becomes known. Like walking down a path through the fog – we may not be able to see far into the distance, but each step reveals what was hidden before. Just keep stepping on the next stone, taking the next step in your life. Make this quote your mantra, and you will have an amazing life.
Today I create a WONDERFUL NEW DAY and a WONDERFUL NEW FUTURE.
– Louise Hay
In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be.
– The Dreamer
When you were this girls age, you had dreams about who you wanted to be when you grew up. You may already have been singing, or dancing, or wanting to be a doctor or lawyer. Between this age and actually growing up most of us have our dreams dashed in some way. It may be that someone teases us that we can’t carry a tune, or we are doing the dance wrong. Or maybe they tell us that we should choose a less challenging career than a doctor or lawyer, because we really aren’t that smart. Or it could be more subtle where we are being directed by our parents into the career that they want for us.
Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
Along the way we also learn to hide who we are. We learn that others judge us, so we put on masks to conform to who they want us to dress like, look like, act like. We hide our dreams so that no one can destroy them any further. We learn not to trust our hearts to be in others hands. We give up on what is possible and settle for what is conforming to the needs of others. We forget who we are and what we are here for. We no longer take part in the dance of life, but settle back against the wall and watch those with more courage or talent dance it in front of us.
Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.
There is only one way to truly know who you are deep down inside. You have to get in touch with your own soul. You need to be by yourself, and sit with yourself, and just listen. Looking back at your life, find the places where you were really happy. Find the things that are so easy for you to do, that others find hard or impossible. Trace back all of the threads that have your name engraved upon them. Start picking out and removing all of the threads that are not you. Look for the gold and silver pieces and toss out the dross. Now look for the patterns that are left. The amazing thing is that it usually takes you back to this age. The age when you acted out who you really were, before society broke you like a young colt and told you who to be. The threads of genius that are all you, can now be taken up and made into whatever pattern you want. It is never too late to be who you were meant to be.
To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.
– Deepak Chopra
Sometimes when you make this journey deep into our soul, we discover that our lives have to be completely shaking up. We are covered in dust and debris that needs to be removed. We need to rearrange almost everything. Change almost everything. We need to go to the place we are supposed to be. A close friend of mine relocated from Los Angels to Italy and she loves it. The best thing to do is to remove what doesn’t belong and then figure out how to rearrange what does. It is an individual journey that defines who we are in a totally new way. We discover our truth by looking for it down deep within and then integrating it into our life. We are on a life adventure. This journey is for you alone. Embrace it and life it fully.
The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated. It isn’t true that everyone should follow one path. Listen to your own truth.
– Ram Dass
There are some that will say that living your life purpose, is being selfish. That we are ignoring the wishes of others. But actually the reverse is true. Each one of us was given as part of our life journey a divine destiny. We were born into the place and the family that would give us the tools to accomplish this purpose. Some of those life lessons come through adversity, some come as part of the journey of rediscovering who we are really meant to be. But if we don’t take the risks, make the changes and transform our lives, then our destiny will not be fulfilled. And we will not be living the life that God sent us here to live. So it is actually selfish to not live up to our full potential. To not find out who we are supposed to be. To not utilize our power to its full capability. To not live out loud and up front our God given destiny.
. . . it’s a life’s journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else . . .
– Mariska Hargitay
Powered by WishList Member - Membership Software