So many times we ask the divine for help, for guidance. The door is open, right there in front of us, but we don’t enter. It could be that what we see beyond that door is not what we were expecting for the answer. It could be that we are so caught up in the drama and chaos that we don’t even see the door. We remain in our self imposed prison, feeling sorry for ourselves, and we are the only ones with the key.
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
– Corrie ten Boom
I was reading a book recently and one of the sub plot lines was that one of the main characters had seen in a vision that he killed one of the other main characters. Sometimes what we see is a still point scene, meaning that it is just a flash of what the scene is about. But we don’t see what happened before or after it. Like this photo we just see a green mist. It isn’t until we step through the door that everything becomes clear. To refuse the journey because of what we think might happen, is to live our life with fears chains limiting every move. Be brave. Trust who you are at the heart and soul level. Unlock fears chains and walk through the door.
Fear knocked at the door. Love answered and no one was there.
– Dr. Wayne Dyer
In the book I was referencing, she had been poisoned with a drug that would affect her brain in such a way that she would become a killer, no moral codes, insane. And the same time, the sane part of herself would know everything that the insane part of her was doing. She asked him to kill her. Our divine destiny sometimes leads us to places unexpected. Without knowing the whole story we look out that door and see a scene that we reject wholesale. We judge it without an understanding of what is really going on.
It’s better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that”.
– Lessons Learned In Life
We need to walk through that door to begin the long journey to ourselves. To unfold our own myths. The ones that you grew up with. Your sibling is the smart one (which made you the dumb one). Your sibling is the athlete (which made you clumsy or uncoordinated). Your sibling is musical (which made you tone deaf). We could go on and on with the comparisons between you and someone else as you grew up. The teachers who told you that you couldn’t do something, weren’t talented enough, whatever the rejection was that you accepted as fact. Then there are the myths that you just told yourself, based on your own low opinion of who you are, and what you are capable of.
If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later.
– Sir Richard Branson
And of course there are the hopes and dreams of those that love us, that aren’t the same as our own hopes and dreams. I remember in the book, “Love, Medicine and Miracles”, one of the true stories was of a young man who had terminal cancer. He was in college studying to become a doctor, because that was what his parents wanted. When he found out he had cancer he quit school and went to play his violin which was his dream and passion in life. Funny thing happened, his cancer went away. When he started living his life purpose, he starting living his life.
When opportunity knocks, don’t let fear hold you back. Open the door and embrace the opportunity that has come forth.
– Live Life Fully
When he stopped letting fear of disappointing his parents stop him from being who he really was, he opened the door to the life he was supposed to be living.
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end.
– Denis Waitley
The other thing that keeps us from walking through that door is the voice that remembers that one time we fell on our face. A complete laughing stock failure. You don’t want that to ever happen again, so take no chances on walking through the door. We need just enough courage to open that door and step through. We need a new definition of what failure is. Failure is a temporary detour. It is the realization that failure is just a part of the process on the road to success. Failure is not a stop sign. It is a learning experience that we need to fully embrace. To hold it in our arms, to hug it tight. We don’t die from failure. We do however stop living, if we let failure be a stop sign.
I’ve failed over and over and that is why I succeed.
– Michael Jordan
In basketball you miss more shots than you make and you are still a success, why? Because you keep trying, and you don’t sit in the stands and watch, not taking the shot. You keep trying and you even though you miss some of the time, you also score some of the time.
Let the people discover you! You might have the key of the locked doors in their lives! Open yourself to the world; you might be the magic the world needs!
– Mehmet Murat Jidan
So many of us walk through life, trying not to be seen. We are afraid of being judged, as not being worthy, of thinking more of ourselves than we should and being found a fraud. But that is just a lie. The more that we let people in, the more our life opens up. The more that we be who we truly are without the limitations we put on ourselves. The more that we help ourselves, the more we can help others do the same. That is the change that the world needs. To live out loud, who we are in our souls. When we do that, we give others permission to do the same.
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.
Walk through that door. Don’t let the fear of change, of the unknown. of possible failure, keep you from living your life on purpose.
And, yes, words matter. They may reflect reality, but they also have the power to change reality – the power to uplift and to abase.
I think that all of us heard the nursery rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but word will never hurt me”. And all of us have been hurt by the words of others. Sometimes the words of bullies as they seek the soft spot that will create pain. Sometimes the words of loved ones, when we fight and say mean and hurtful things to those we love. Japanese scientist, Masaru Emoto did an experiment in a elementary school classroom in which he placed two jars of cooked rice. Each day the kids in the classroom had to pass by these jars and say the words taped on the jar. On one jar the words were “Thank You” and the other jar the words were “You Fool”. After 30 days the jars were removed. The jar with “Thank You” contained rice that looked like it had been cooked that morning, white and fluffy. The other jar with the words “You Fool” had shrank into a black shriveled gelatinous mass. Words have an energy that affect both the speaker and the listener.
Words matter and the right words matter most of all. In the end they’re all that remains of us.
There are others words that matter. The words that we say to ourselves in our heads. Like “your so stupid” or “you always make the wrong decisions” or “You’ll never get it or do it right”. . , and so on and on. Words that say that we are not good enough. Never say words that make your body or your accomplishments in life a joke. Stop name calling and self criticism to yourself, as well as others. We are all at any moment in time doing the best we can, with what we know and understand in that moment. We can all do and be better. It requires us to be conscious of the words coming out of our mouths. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting words.
You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions not words that matter.
Do we put actions to our words, our intentions to be better, to do better? Do we keep trying to walk towards a better life, or when we trip and fall down do we sit there in lamentation and say it’s no use. That we are who we are, and we can’t do it. I always think of babies when they are learning to walk. They tip over and over and over. They fall so many times. And each time they get up and try it again. Although they can’t tell you, they are learning from each failure how to achieve balance. It isn’t something learned on the first, second or even 50th try. But they all – 100% of them keep trying. And once they are walking it seems like almost instantaneously they are running. They don’t let anything hold them back. Do we put the same kind of actions to the words that we speak?
No matter what people tell you it’s words and ideas that can change the world.
Just as words can create wars, they can also create positive change in the world. Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” words changed the world. Look at what has happened in the past few years with the movements that have been created to bring something positive out of their own pain as survivors, or of families of those who lost loved ones. Drugs, gun violence, racism, those sold into sexual slavery, sexual harassment/assault – all have created hashtag movements – #MeToo – #NotOneMore – #TakeAKnee – #BlackLivesMatter – #BringBackOurGirls – and so on. Your views of what was done to try and make positive change may not agree with all of the attempts to find social justice, but they do prove that words and ideas can change the world.
In every encounter in life we either give life or drain life. Their are no mutual exchanges.
Always remember that your words carry weight and bearing in the lives of others. Choose them wisely. When we speak words of hate, we find ways to support those words. We actually see the world through a “lack” mentality. We blame all of our problems on “Them” – whatever group “Them” is. We see the world through that lens and it distorts what we see to fit the viewpoint we have adopted.
The same is true of having a positive outlook on the world and the changes that take place in it every day. Every day someone’s smile brightens the life of another. Every day a policeman or fireman or paramedic saves the life of someone. Every day someone says no to drugs. Every day someone refuses to join a gang and live a life of violence. And every day someone who has been caught up in a world of drugs, alcohol and violence says no to continuing to live that lifestyle. The life we life and the world that we see is viewed through the lens that we have created. At any moment in time we can change the lens. Right now at this moment, someone is reading or seeing something that moves them to change that lens. To start one more time living a life that brings positive change not just to their life, but those around them, spreading it to the whole world.
. . . words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew, upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions think . . ,
Words Matter Week, 2014
Each day we design the life that we are living. All of the small daily decisions add up to the day we live. It is so easy to get caught up in the news. Depending on the stations we listen to we are fed a diet of everything that is wrong in the world, from a specific viewpoint that always says that the other guy is wrong. We don’t debate ideas from the news, we fling judgments against other. We are subconsciously refusing to hear the emotions, the hurts, the “reasons” why they are saying those words that damage others lives.
Words are free. Its how you use them that may cost you.
Words have meaning in the context in which they are spoken. Say the word fire – at a family barbeque. Say the word fire – in the workplace. Say the word fire – in a crowded venue. The family barbeque uses fire to cook the food, and it’s a normal safe word to say. Say the word fire in the workplace, and you will get a negative emotion running immediately. Either yourself or someone you know has just lost their job, their means of support for themselves and their family. It is sad, threatening, humiliating, depressing, and so stressful, not only to the person fired, but to the whole office. You also may feel guilty because you feel relieved that it wasn’t you, that your safe. Say the word fire in a crowded venue and you have people fleeing for their lives. You will see them stampeding towards any exit. Some people will be so scared, traumatized or selfish that they literally run over others trying to escape. Some people will become heroes, saving the lives of others, even if it means that they die trying. Words in the context of how they are used reveal things about ourselves that we never knew or acknowledged before.
Your words matter. A wider world is waiting to hear your story. When will you have the courage to tell them?
You crafted the stage you’re now on, so that you’d be pushed on to discover your power, the dreams worth pursuing, and the passion to create them into reality. In the lives that we have lived so far, we have created illusions to support who we think we are. To support who we are capable of being. These illusions have created and supported your thoughts, beliefs, and expectations. It is up to us to ask the questions from a place of curiosity as to what of our beliefs are illusions. To question how we gathered these thoughts and facts into truths that are somehow cemented into unbiased realities that we refuse to change.
We live in a world of possibilities. We all have potential that we haven’t fully plumbed or realized. Facts change every day. Every day some new scientific discovery is made. They used to say that man couldn’t fly. That if God wanted man to fly he would have given him wings. It was a fact. Then curious men created planes, rockets, hot air balloons, space ships and so on. Then flying through the sky became a cemented fact. Every new “truth” discovered requires that we change a previous truth.
Curiosity creates the possibility of a new word, or truth. Words give us a trail to follow. Intention brings action to the words and creates new truths, new meanings to the words. It creates a life journey of discovery, of continually learning new things not just about ourselves, but our world. As the Star Trekkers say, “To go boldly where no man (or woman) has gone before”. Stay curious, stay hungry for more, live in the moment, and most of all create peace and happiness in your life.
For many people, authentic life starts at the time of death – not our own, but someone else’s.
– Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
This is so true for me. It was the murder of my nephew that changed my whole life. Up until that time my lived was lived by following what others had either taught me or expected of me. The lesson I learned from my mother that drove me, was to have a career that earned a great income so that I would not be like her and end up homeless with her children. In her mind her only option was to return to a marriage that she had left behind because it would provide support for her children.
At first after my nephew died, it was all about helping my sister survive the storm of grief that ripped her world into tiny pieces that we couldn’t put back together again. Then once we all knew that she while she wasn’t fully recovered she was surviving and learning what her new life would be, it was time to deal with my own grief.
I change the world by changing myself. I am changing the world by loving myself, by enjoying life, by making my personal world a dream of heaven. I change myself, and just like magic, other people start to change.
– Miguel Ruiz
I knew that I wanted to bring something positive out of his death and so I started writing my way through my own changing and evolving world. I had wanted to be a writer since I was a small child. But I didn’t have any confidence to begin the journey. Each time my heart and soul drew me into that space I had a ready excuse as to why I couldn’t do it. I have four children to raise, a fulltime career and husband to take care of. So I would lie to myself about the reason why I didn’t have the time to write.
People will kill you over time, and how they’ll kill you is with tiny harmless phrases like “Be Realistic”
– Dylan Moran
First it was when the kids were all in school, then I would have time to write. Then it was when they all graduated high school, then I would have time to write. Then it was taking care of my dad who had retired early with disabilities, so now I had a new obligation to put off this dream of writing my own stories. Always there was something more important to be done. Besides I told myself, be realistic, “no one will want to read what you write”. As I wrote my way through changing myself and posted it on my personal page, I kept being told by others to do more.
The secret of making dreams come true can be summarized in four C’s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy; and the greatest of these is confidence.
– Walt Disney
Self confidence is something that Walt Disney had to have had. He had businesses that failed and ended bankruptcy. He lost most of his employees and a big contract to a film producer that had been working with him. What he discovered and what I discovered was that when one door closes another opens. For him that lead to the creation of Mickey Mouse, who actually has his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. For me, it was discovering that this dream that I had buried as not being worthy of was in fact possible. The writing on my personal page, created the self confidence to create the LemonadeMakers page here on Facebook and a website that we are slowly expanding to create even more material for our followers.
In the words of Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu:
As I walk this journey of following my dreams, I get ideas of where it might be taking me, but I don’t really know what I am becoming. I still feel constantly as though I am in the chrysalis and becoming something new. I am still being stretched into unknown realms. I am constantly learning, adapting and regrouping. I fall down on my face, but I keep getting back up. I brush off the dirt and dust and look in the mirror. It is the act of constantly letting go of the life I thought I should have, that I am able to embrace the life that is waiting for me. It is the constant asking of these three questions that keeps opening new doors of discovery for me.
When you ask those questions, sit with them in silence a few moments and see what bubbles up to the top for you. When you boil some sort of vegetable, a lot of times there is this film of stuff that spreads across the water. A sort of scum that I always ladle out of the boiling water. This is what happens when we sit in silence with a question. Our minds floats up a denial. It floats up a distraction. If floats up fears. Just look at them without judgement and scoop them out and let them settle into the earth.
Now return to the silence and contemplation and see what bubbles up next. Write it down and see what else floats up to the top. Keep writing until you have a list of things that you would do next.
Dreamer: (n) A person who visions their ambitions to plant the seeds of their future
/ Dreams are realities in waiting/
Now take that list and put the items into two columns, column A and column B. So that if you had 10 items, you would now have 5 lines with an answer under column A and B for each line. Now ask yourself which draws me more – item A or item B and circle that answer for each of the five lines. Now you should have 5 circled items left. Do the same process, only now taking the first circle item to the next circled item, and keep picking between the choices until you have only one circled item. You now have the winning thing you would do next.
Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
– Will Rogers
So lets say just for sake of example it was learn to fly a plane. Now google local flying instructions and make appointments to interview them. Pick one and take your first lesson. It’s really that simple to let go of who you are, a dreamer with no action taken to accomplish his/her dreams, and a dreamer who makes a phone call and gets into a plane and takes their first lesson. If it turns out that you discover flying isn’t something that “rings your souls bell” then go back to your list and go through the items again to see what else might be the next dream to accomplish.
Want to join with us in further exploration of living the life of your dreams? See below to check out our next event.
Everyone has the perfect gift to give the world – and if each us is freed up to give the gift that is uniquely ours to give, the world will be in total harmony
– Buckminster Fuller
The journey we are all on, individually, has interesting intersections. Places where we have almost identical experiences. Places where we are on the same page at the same time. Wherever we are traveling on the map, someone has been there before us, and someone is just behind us. We are driven by a hunger to express who we really are, and at the same time, we are like, “wait, wait, I’m not ready”. Our choices reflect our greatest dreams and our deepest fears and insecurities.
Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript of a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself, everything that you want, you already have.
Do you remember when you went to a playground or maybe it was at school recess – the first time that you climbed up the ladder of the slide and looked way down to the bottom? It seemed so far below us and really scary. Maybe you went right back down that ladder too scared to go down the slide. Or maybe you went down the slide, but remained in total control by gripping the sides of the slide so that you just eased yourself down to the bottom very, very slowly. Or maybe you threw caution to the winds and went down the slide screaming at the top of your lungs, and ran as fast as you could to climb back up the ladder and this time to try it backwards.
We as human beings have this amazing capacity to be reborn at breakfast every day and say, “This is a new day. Who will I be?”
– Jack Kornfield
How many things in your life have been like that slide experience? How has this pattern showed up in your life? Do you blunt your own truth? Do you not fully commit to anything in life? Do you like to stay in the lines, and play safe with life by staying within your comfort zone? Do you avoid pushing boundaries at home, at work, when exercising, in every area of your life? Are you setting goals or New Years Resolutions that are not really growing you or breaking out or through anything that you did last year, or the year before that . . . , all the way back 5, 10, or 20 years ago? Is RISK a dirty four letter word to your brain?
Whenever you hear or read anything of a spiritual nature that moves you or touches your soul you are not learning something . . , you are remembering what you have always known. It is a gentle awakening.
When you move forward, is it from consulting your own inner guidance, or from following the advice of others? You awaken and become conscious of your purpose in life when you stop looking outside for the answers that can only be found inside of us. Sit in silence and listen to the soft voice of your heart. To the guidance of your soul. This divine guidance comes to us through the voice of intuition. When we start to live our life from this authentic place, our soul becomes visible.
The more you trust intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become.
– Gisele Bundchen
Do you move forward without design with “a leap of faith”, like racing down that slide in childhood. Or do you continue to walk down well worn and well known paths based on your need to control everything in your life? Like gripping the sides of that slide to control your slide to the bottom. Do you get vulnerable and put yourself out there, or do you draw back into your quiet safe corner where you can’t be seen or heard? We mistakenly think that when we keep safe, that we are avoiding being hurt. The truth is when we are not taking that leap of faith, we are suffering a far greater pain. We suffer in life, from not living our purpose. We suffer the regrets of not living a fully lived life. That leap of faith is the road to the happiness. The road to living a life well lived. Of stepping up into transforming not only ourselves, but the world we live in.
Vulnerability is not about fear and grief and disappointment – it is the birthplace of everything we’re hungry for.
– Brene Brown
Think of people who became “obsessed” with something – Jane Goodell, Mother Teresa. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, all come to my mind. All people that when you hear their name, you think of the “thing” or purpose that gave meaning to their life. Their message comes through loud and clear. You associate their name with the message. It isn’t only their life that was changed by their following their passion. Their life purpose actually changed the world. They have literally become a living archetype, a soul on fire.
In a world where everyone wears a mask, it’s a privilege to see a soul.
Watching a candle flame is watching the transformation of fire. It dies down and flames up over and over again. It is constantly changing – it changes directions, it changes height, it changes width – in any one second it is not the same as it was the previous second. It reacts to the slightest breeze in the room.
There is a force within which gives you life, seek that. In your body lies a priceless gem, seek that. O wandering soul if you want to find the greatest treasure, don’t look outside, look inside, and seek that.
When we awaken, there is a fire that starts burning within our soul. We awaken to our true nature, as everything that doesn’t belong gets burned away. We start to get glimpses of what our truth is. We see the masks of conditioned behaviors and patterns that need to be removed, as they don’t serve us. Like a mirror we see reflected back to us what is holding us back. We see that the walls that our patterns built to protect us, are in fact keeping us from living to our full potential. When we see life from our souls perspective, we see that there are no obstacles, only guidance.
Don’t let life’s challenges harden your heart, let them empower your mind, renew your spirit and strengthen your soul.
We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.
– Max Depree
I love to read great books. I have love affairs with the characters, watching them undergo their transformational hero’s journeys through the pages to the end of the story. I get great ideas from the authors words, that send me speeding down the side roads of my own life. Every year I look back at what in my life I shed like an old skin, and what ways I have changed as I try to improve my own life.
The most important question to ask is, “What am I becoming?”
– Jim Rohn
I have a rule, that I can’t bring a new thing into my house, unless I let go of something that is already there. I love to send boxes to the goodwill or some other second hand store. I think about the clothes I give away as going to a new person who will enjoy them just as much as I did. I think about the books I have read, laughing and crying my way through them and how they will stir the emotions of another reader.
I love the person I’ve become, because I fought to become her.
– Kaci Dianne
In this same way, I look at my beliefs, my habits, my lifestyle. When I want to get healthier, work on improving my finances, grow in my own self knowledge, I realize that in order to make these transformational changes in my life, I have to let go of something that is no longer serving me. I have to step outside the comfort zone and pay the tolls to walk down a new path, to undertake a new journey.
I know not who I am, simply that I am forever becoming exactly what I am meant to be.
– Becca Lee
There is so much more to us than we are aware of. I like the word developing. Like the developing of film. When we look outside and take in a scene, there are certain things that attract our attention. We miss most of the scene we are looking at because we simply see what our filters let us see. But if you snap a photo and enlarge it and go over it and over it, there is so much more there than we were aware of. If you were to grid out the photo and examine each block of the grid, you would probably see insects, birds, small animals and lots of plants. You would look deeply into the shadows to see what is hidden in the semi darkness.
Dear Self, This is going to be your year. So dust off your sh*tkickers and let’s get started. All my love, Me
Taking that same view into our own personal lives can be a real eye opener. We are all worthy of being fully developed into the magnificent beings that we are capable of being. I remember that when I was growing up I had two of my sisters and my brother develop into artists through classes in school. I can’t draw a stick figure and I was always jealous. My mom always wished she could draw and paint like they could. Sometime in her early 50’s she was talked into taking an art class with her best friend. I have hanging on my wall in the living room a painting that she did. It is amazing that what she discovered and developed from one art class, is that she could in fact draw and paint.
Always go with your passions. Never ask yourself if it’s realistic or not.
– Deepak Chopra
Inside of all of us are these amazing talents we don’t know we have. We just haven’t taken the time and energy to do that thing we always wished we could do. We just don’t have the confidence and courage to step out and take the chance that we might be really good at something that we think we are terrible about. We just haven’t decided what is behind fears door #1, #2 or #3.
Think of three things what you have always wanted to learn how to do – play a musical instrument, learn how to dance, learn a craft of some sort, paint, pottery, woodcraft – whatever it is. Now take photos of those things and paste them on a piece of paper and then cut out some doors from a magazine and tape the doors over the three things you have always wanted to learn how to do. Now just sit there and free write all of the “reasons” why you can’t learn about what is behind door #1, then do the same thing for door #2 and #3.
I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it fullspeed. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.
– Ronald Dahl
Now I am giving you a magic wand that is called enthusiasm. I want you to waive it over the three doors and grant yourself one wish. Open up the door that most calls to your heart and soul and write down how you will feel when you are doing this thing. I want you to write it in the present tense, that you have taken the classes or lessons and now you can play the piano, or dance the waltz or you just built a cabinet or rebuilt a car engine. How happy and joyful do you feel? Now go back to all of those “reasons” why you can’t do what is behind that door. Cross through each one as you name the fear behind it. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough and so on. Now go out and learn what you need to know to bring that dream out from under the bed, dust it off, shine a light on it, and figure out how to do what you need to do to “get it done”.
If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple.
Know what you are doing.
Love what you are doing.
And believe in what you are doing.
– Will Rogers
“Running away from your problems is a race that you will never win” – Unknown
I think it is several things. The realization that there is nothing that you can do to change the situation. You can only change yourself. If the situation doesn’t change after that, then it is time to ask yourself “why am I still here?”.
Years ago I have interviewed for a new job and was hired. The first hour of my first day at the new job, I knew that I had made a mistake. The owner of the company had a lot of anger issues in how he treated his employees. He wasn’t the person I had interviewed with and when I was shown around the office he wasn’t there. If he had been, and I saw how he treated his employees I never would have accepted the position. As an example he would walk around the office and open the paper drawers for the fax machines. If they were down even a few sheets of paper, and even if the receptionist had filled them 5 minutes ago he would start yelling and cursing at her.
The Saturday of my first week there, I went into the office to set up my desk with the various underwriting guidelines they used for several different companies. While I was there, the owner of the company came in and we started talking. I had already worked for an owner like him, and I had sworn I would never allow someone to treat me like that again. So I told him very clearly that the first time he yelled and swore at me, like I had seen him do to others, would be the day I quit.
“Be Brave. Remember that bravery is not the lack of fear, but the ability to move forward in spite of fear” – Unknown
The day eventually came when it happened. I went into the storage area and grabbed a box, and started putting my personal things in the box. Shocked, he asked me what I was doing. I reminded him of that conversation and said I was quitting. As far as I know, I was the first person that he ever apologized to for his bad behavior, and he never yelled or swore at me again.
Now I needed that job to support my family. But I had made a promise to myself to never let anyone demean me again. It took a tremendous amount of courage to go and grab that box. I was determined to be true to my word to myself. I chose to love myself, over fear of losing the job and income needed to support my family. Does thinking about that scare you, as much as it scared me?
“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think” – A. A. Milne
have you stayed in instead of leaving? You tell yourself that you have no choice but to stay. But you always have choices. Your happiness starts with you. Not only how you treat yourself, but how you give permission to others to treat you. I could only make that choice because I loved myself, and trusted that doing the right thing would work out in the end.
“With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity” – Mark Twain
“If you’re brave to say “good bye”. life will reward you with a new “hello”. He also said, “You are what you believe yourself to be” – Paulo Coelho
The only way to discover what you are truly capable of, is to take leaps of faith across the chasms. To leap up into the heights of trees. It is what is necessary to push out the boundaries of your comfort zone, or to decrease the size of your tolerance zone, whichever the case may be.
“Note to self: You don’t have to be brave every single minute. Sometimes, you rest. You say, “I’m not brave enough for that . . . right now”. But you will be. Soon” – Nanea Hoffman
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are” – e.e. cummings
“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light” – Aristotle
There are times when something so tragic happens, such as a mass shooting, that it stains your soul. People will talk for days to try and understand why it happened, and what can be done to prevent it from happening again. They will dig up every nuance of the person who did the unspeakable to try and say, “this thing here is the reason”. It will create conversations, and arguments over what law could be passed that would prevent it from happening again. You do this because, you want to validate that you are not in danger of also becoming a monster.
The experts will talk for days about what causes someone to become so radical that they will take a strangers life. Whether they walk into a movie theater and start shooting, or they drive a car into a crowd of people, or they bomb a concert – it is always what could cause a person to do this? The families and friends will wonder how could I miss that someone I thought I knew, could have the motivation to do something so tragic?
“All of our humanity is dependent upon recognizing the humanity in others” – Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Fear can cause a person to become unbalanced, and turn into a monster. It is the ultimate destination of misplaced and out of control fear. This cage of fear smothers a persons humanity, until they strike out at others like a wild beast that has been cornered. It begins in small ways. You may walk by someone being bullied, and you hurry past looking away so they don’t see that you are witnessing it. You don’t want to become involved.
In todays current reality, we see people hoarding supplies. Empty shelves in the grocery store. Business’s closing their doors either out of concern of the spreading virus or by government mandate. This creates loss of income in those who can afford it the least. Fear will keep you from asking others if they need anything. Fear will make you feel that if you share or look out for others, that you will end up not having enough for yourself.
In everyday life, you may listen to family members that practice mental cruelty to another family member, with unmerciful teasing and taunting and belittling. You could become warped in your beliefs that “this is just the way life is”. You could soon find yourself being attracted to the hateful speech of others. You could begin to identify with being a victim of social injustice.
Step by step, when you walk in the path where you are blaming others for your current troubles, you begin the journey of becoming what you hate. If you blame others for your lack of success or misfortune, it is a step in the wrong direction. If you allow your fear to make up stories in your head, it can become another step by step to your losing your humanity. Most people don’t just walk off the edge of sanity in one day. It starts by paying attention to the hate and lies being told by radical groups. Then slowly step by step, you could become another damaged life. You could become another lost soul.
Fear can weasel into your life in softer ways. It is your fears that hold you back from honest communications. At work, at home, and at school relationships are lost, because you don’t communicate with each other. You are afraid to be hurt, to be misunderstood, to be unloved, based on made up stories in your head. So you don’t open up your heart and say what you feel inside.
Instead you make up stories as to how the other person will react, and you close yourself off. We fence ourselves off, and we lose. Despite our efforts to protect yourself, you end up with a broken heart. No relationship can survive if you don’t learn to have heartfelt open communication, as reflected by the high divorce rates and abandoned friendships.
In my early 30’s I was laid off from work and my particular industry in Southern California had been hit hard with layoffs. No one was hiring and my family ended up moving into my parents basement while I looked for work out of state. During this time my Aunt visited from Oregon, and the three of us went to lunch on the Santa Cruz Boardwalk with her. During lunch we had a conversation around what was happening, and I expressed how hurt I was because of something my mom said. I don’t remember what she said, just that it triggered the feeling in my that I was never “good enough” for my mom. With my aunt acting as a referee, my mom heard me for the first time. This feeling came from a time when I was a child. I had swept the kitchen floor and after I was done, she took the broom from me and showed me all of the places I had missed. From that moment on, I always felt I could not please her. That she would always find fault. She had no idea I had ever felt that way. We were able to heal a wound that had festered inside of me for years.
Fear can only rule your mind when you let it. You have the ability to challenge these fears when they come up inside your head. You can question where this belief is really coming from. You can ask it, “are you 100% sure that this is the truth?” You can master the fear with courage. It is only when you are living a life of courage, that you can truly be free.
Fear is not always a bad thing. You might be walking home one night. You might consider taking a short cut on a path through the trees. After the first few steps, the hair on the back of your head starts standing up and your mind is shouting, turn around, this isn’t safe. So you turn around and walk down the lighted street to go home. The next day we hear that someone was robbed taking that shortcut. The fear you felt saved you.
Most of the time however, fear is not your friend. It robs you of your freedom. It claims to keep you safe, but instead it locks you in a cage. It robs you of a fully lived life. You never attempt to live out your dreams, because you are afraid of failing. I read a story in the news about a woman who was robbed at a Walmart in Oregon. A man stole her bicycle and she was yelling for someone to help her. This cowboy had his horse in the horse trailer, so he backed the horse out, and took off after the thief. He actually caught up to him, used his rope to lasso him, and dragged him back to Walmart and the police. The cowboy was a champion bull rider and has now been named “The Lone Ranger” and “the John Wayne of Southern Oregon”. He says he was just trying to do the right thing. After turning the thief over, he put his horse back into the trailer and went home to take care of his cattle.
“Humanity should be our race. Love should be our religion” – Unknown
This is a man who has faced his fear down. There are far more people in the world like him. People that help others. People who don’t turn away when they see injustice. People who believe in doing the right thing, and who demonstrate those beliefs with actions. There are even more who want to follow that example. You have that ability right now, today. To knock on a neighbors door and make sure they have want they need to shelter in place. To call your friends and make sure they have what they need. To give out of your own abundance to help others in some way.
If you light your candle, and stand in the darkness, you lend your courage to others to do the same. Each person can light their candle from the flame you are shining out into the darkness. If you each take a stand for living a more fearless life, the world will shift. This is what living your purpose and living your dreams is all about. You don’t hoard your light under a basket, but rather you shine your light out into the world. I believe that living this kind of life, keeps that monster from being created in the first place.
“In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be” – The Dreamer
You were born a dreamer. All you have to do is watch any small child. You can see their dreams, their imaginations running wild. They create whole worlds with blankets and pillows, some Legos and Hot Wheels, Dinosaurs and some plastic green Army Men. Whatever they can get their hands on. If you give them a few tools they will cut and saw out some boards and hammer together a space ship, then put on their capes to go out to save the world from alien invaders. The horrible thing that happens to you as you grow up, is that you let go of your dreams. You became a realist and make your possibilities into a small safe comfort zones.
“There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there” – Robert Orben
You need to destroy your comfort zone and remember that you are a dreamer and you have unlimited potential. Your dreams were designed to custom fit your personality. If you let them, they will continue grow and expand as you do. They will follow you all of your days, growing greater and grander as you do. When Walt Disney was laying in the hospital dying, he had his newest dreams taped up on the ceiling so that he could look up at them and continue to plan their realities. As long as you continue to learn, to grow and expand, so will your dreams. Dreams are your future realities, waiting in the wings to come out on the stage of life.
“The dreamers of the day are dangerous people. For they dream their dreams with wide open eyes, and make them come true” – D.H. Lawrence
I am always amazed when I read an old science fiction book or look at some of the drawings of someone like Leonardo Da Vinci. He created on paper the bicycle, the helicopter, and an airplane. What powerful dreamers they were. At the time, they were writing about a future they could only see in their minds eye. They made up inventions that had us deep within the oceans, that had us exploring the galaxy, that had us beaming a person from the land mass of a planet, up through space and into the interior of a space ship.
“Great dreams of great dreamers are always transcended” – A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
Over time, inventors have been catching those concepts or thoughts, and they have been bringing them into reality. They invented deep sea diving suits, and submarines and special mini subs that could go even deeper. You have the ability to see the ocean floor from satellites deep in space. They took us to the moon and back. Now we go back and forth on a regular basis to a space station. I saw a news piece about how someone is building personal small helicopters that will fly themselves and be used in the near future to take us to work. While this isn’t the flying car that turns into a brief case we saw on the George Jetson cartoons, it is getting closer to a reality.
“All successful people, men and women, are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision” – Brian Tracy
When you are a dreamer that puts action steps into your dreams, you discover a number of things. You discover what hard work really looks and feels like. You discover the real cost of sacrificing everything to make the dream into reality. You discover that the price isn’t as large as fear told you it would be. You discover that every time you fall down, every time it doesn’t work out like you thought it would, that every single failure, is just a way to show you a new viewpoint into what you are bringing into the worlds reality. You discover that failures are just stepping stones to greatness.
“Do not let the fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists . . it is real . . . it is possible . . . it’s yours” – Ayn Rand
Every night you tossed and turned trying to figure out the right way, and all of the struggles you have or will go through, are in the end are the price tag of the ever expanding new you. Each and every price tag that you pay for .. . every single failure, is what is leading you to the mastery of the idea, and the fulfillment of the concept. The steps of the completion of the dream, becomes a part of the never ending journey to which we all sign up for. You gain a true understanding of the words, “it is not the destination that matters, but who we are becoming along the way”.
“Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world” – Oscar Wilde
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions
– Dalai Lama
Most of us as adults would look at all the clean laundry on this bed and sigh, thinking that it all needed to be folded or hung up and put away. But my two grandsons didn’t see a pile of work to do, they saw fun. The smiles on their faces make my heart burst with joy. Can you remember being this age and thinking that everything in and around your house was just waiting for you to figure out a way to have fun with it? As adults we need to get back that lens of seeing things as something ready made to make us happy.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do, are in harmony
– Mahatma Gandhi
One of the things that I love about watching small children, is their ability to just be themselves. They aren’t hiding who they are behind a mask, no fake smiles, no hidden agenda’s. If something does happen that makes them sad or mad, their emotions flow straight through them. The don’t pout in the corner waiting for someone to coax them back into a good mood. They have their moments when a tantrum hits them, then they immediately get distracted and two minutes later they are on the bed rolling in clean clothes and laughing about nothing.
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry, with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously,
– Og Mandino
They don’t have baggage that they carry around with them, that slows down their emotions. They don’t find themselves trapped in an endless loop of replaying a bad experience over and over again. They don’t let their emotions send them into an endless spiral of judgment and negativity. They don’t spend their days getting triggered by something unimportant. They don’t let a single thing cause them to spend the rest of the day in a bad mood.
The best thing that you can do to this world is to be joyous. Being joyful, is the greatest offering you can make to the world
– Jaggi Vasadev
Have you ever been in a terrific mood, driving down the freeway as you go to work? Then someone cuts you off. You might mutter under your breath. Or maybe you yell at the driver shaking you head or hands. Or maybe you drive right up on their bumper to let them know how angry you are. A few weeks ago two drivers were going down the freeway, and I don’t know what started the argument, but they were taking turns cutting each other off, then they pulled their cars over and one man got out with a baseball bat. Fortunately, there was a highway patrol behind them and he was able to stop it from escalating even further. Why do we let someone else’s actions destroy our good mood? Why do we feel the need to somehow get back at them for their either unthinking or aggressive driving habits?
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.
It isn’t easy to let things go as fast as they happen to us. But if we remember these two rascals and a load of clothes just out of the dryer, maybe, just maybe, we can be like children. Feel the emotion, and let it flow out of us. Take back our self respect and don’t allow anyone to push down the rabbit hole of negative emotions. Just walk away. Just because someone invites us to argue and fight, doesn’t mean we have to accept the invitation. Self Awareness allows us the space to check in within us and choose happiness. To chose not to worry. To chose the “easy button” in all aspects of living our life in joy and happiness.
Life does not require you to sacrifice or compromise your joy to get what you want. Joy is what you want, so when you choose in harmony with it, you are fulfilling your life purpose.
– Alan Cohen
When we choose to live our life from the place of gratitude it helps us to shift our energy to bring in more of what we want in our life. As we walk down our chosen path, the journey of life brings us many things. Not all of them are meant to stay. Everything in our life currently is serving some sort of purpose. Part of the journey is figuring out why it is in our life. What it is supposed to be teaching us, and once we know and implement that knowledge, then it is time to let it go. What an interesting thing it is to recognize that in every moment we have choices laid before us. We can choose anger and frustration, or we can let the negative emotion roll in a wave over us and past us to the shore and then watch as it takes all of the negativity back out to sea.
We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
– Carol Castenada
Sometimes happiness is a feeling. Sometimes it’s a decision. Don’t let stupid things break your happiness. If you really look at life, while we all have tragedy happen in our life, most of our unhappiness from day to day is our being triggered by something stupid.
If you want to, you could find a million reasons to hate life and be angry at the world, or, if you want, you could find a million reasons to love life and be happy. Choose wisely.
– Cari Welsh
Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.
– Rikki Rogers
Life in a Jar . . . a play written by school children in Kansas. Tells the story of Irena Sendlerowa who saved around 2,500 Jewish babies from Nazi death camps. Saying that what she did was nothing special, she said “I was brought up to believe that a person must be rescued when drowning, regardless of religion and nationality. The term hero irritates me greatly. The opposite is true. I continue to have pangs of conscience that I did so little.” She was captured by the Gestapo and beaten, breaking and crushing her legs and feet, and then driven away to be executed. One the way, she was rescued. She was never able to walk without crutches afterwards. I think that most of us wonder if we would have had the strength and courage to do what Irena did. Risk our lives for children that we didn’t know. To survive that kind of beating. To have the attitude of thinking that we could have done more than rescue 2,500 children. She is a special kind of hero.
The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
As brave as Irena was, think for a moment of being the mother who had to decide if she could give up her child. What guarantee was there that this would in fact save their child? Where did such inner strength come from? Most of the parents who gave up their children did not survive the war, and lost their lives in the death camps. Put yourself in that place for just a moment, could you have given your child to Irena? Their story is told in the PBS program, “Irena Sandler: In the Name of Their Mothers”.
Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths.
– Drew Barrymore
Harriet Tubman is another amazing woman. Born a slave, she ran away leaving her husband and children to escape slavery. Walking almost 90 miles to Philadelphia with no map, directions or help. She returned to the South at least 19 times and lead her family and hundreds of other slaves to freedom via the Underground Railroad. She was very intuitive and had dreams that would tell her when to leave the road, or that a particular way was not safe. A movie about her life was made, called “A Woman Called Moses”. She is an inspiration again, for standing up for what is right with bravery and courageous action. After rescuing her family, the fact that she went back again and again, with a large bounty on her head for over 10 years makes her a monument to courage and determination. She was also involved in helping women get the vote, working with Susan B Anthony.
Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.
– Christian D. Larson
We could write story after story about amazing people who showed tremendous resilience and courage. Who dug down deep within themselves to find their inner strength to live through trials and tribulations. Who fought through the inner and outer darkness of their lives. In fact, all of us have such stories within our own lives. We may think that what we have done in our lives doesn’t compare to the stories we have heard, the ones that we have labeled as heroes. I am sure that if you were to talk with Malala Yousufzai, she would insist that what she did standing up in defiance to those who wanted to prevent her being educated, was nothing notable. We are all Irena’s, and Harriet’s, and Malala’s.
Every woman had infinite potential to achieve anything she wants. She just needs to stop underestimating herself and discover her true inner strength. She will find within her an unlimited capacity to achieve.
– Aarti Khurana
Maya Angelou is another courageous woman, my hero. Her writing and her wisdom are so inspiring. One of my favorite quotes of hers, “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it”. We all face in our lives numerous times that test us. Things happen that can shatter us, that can pierce our souls. But nothing that happens can reduce us to something less that we are.
A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey, but a woman of strength knows it is in the journey where she will become strong.
Like the water in a lake. Something can cause large ripples that disturb our peace, that shatters our emotions. The cause of the disturbance, like a large rock, might sink to the bottom of our lake, our souls. It might forever change us, but it does not reduce us. We still have the power to return to our inner and outer peace. To continue to learn, grow, and transform our lives. To be curious as to what else is possible in our lives. To be an intelligent, courageous, loving woman who teaches others by being her best possible self.
You are a woman of strength, courage and dignity; one who values herself and fights for what she believes in. A woman who won’t give up on her dreams regardless of how many obstacles stand in her way. If that doesn’t make you beautiful and magnificent, I don’t know what does.
The winds scattered my leaves but my roots remained firm. They tried to wound me, but I grew stronger in the broken places. I wondered if I would survive, but then I saw a sparkle . . . My tiara was a little tangled perhaps but it never fell off after all.
– Jane Lee Logan
When we were children we touched dragonflies and reached for the stars. We talked to the moon and danced through the forest with the fairies. We saw wonder and believed in happy endings. What we may not have realized is that the happy ending, was just that moment in time. That there was more to the story. The heroes journey doesn’t end. There are always more challenges, more growth. Change, transformation, life continues ever onward. The end is never really the end.
Love your whole story even if it hasn’t been the perfect fairy tale.
– Melanie Moushigian Kouloruis
In the ups and downs of life, our story goes by the meaning we put to it. How many times have you heard of someone being laid off or fired? They are anxious, panicked, and feel like the world has ended. But at some point, they start their own business, or get hired at a new company and the next thing you hear is how losing that job was the best thing that ever happened. What changed? The meaning they were putting to their own story.
We long for a fairytales in a world full of nightmares.
It really is about the meaning that you give to what is currently happening in your life. We seem to feel that life should be all roses, and forget that the roses also have thorns. Is it a rosebush or a thornbush? Look at the fairy tales themselves. Peter Pan had Captain Hook, pirates and the Crocodile. Snow White had the Evil Queen and her minions. Ariel had her father, the Sea Witch. There are always obstacles, failures, dragons and demons. They help us to grow by overcoming them.
If I’m honest I have to tell you I still read fairy tales and I like them best of all.
– Audrey Hepburn
From the Genie in the bottle, we learned to form our wishes with a lot of thought and detail, because otherwise they will turn on us. We find helpers along the way. We fight through our fears. We become less judgmental and more compassionate as we see how hard life can be. We become better people. The reason why there is a happy ending, is that the characters did not give up.
Love is overcoming obstacles, facing each challenge with integrity. Love is difficult to define and it begins with learning to truly love ourselves. Love is realizing that the world or life, doesn’t just happen to us, it happens because of us. And every single challenge, obstacle, and opportunity that happens is worth it. It is worth it because when you believe in “YOU”, you can make anything happen.
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
– C.S. Lewis
I loved the Lewis Carroll line, “the best gift you could give her was a lifetime of adventures” because it comes back to the meaning that we give to what is happening in our lives. If you look at this as a lifetime of adventures, you can be Princess Lea, or Indiana Jones. If you look at the movies they played in, they had a lot of bad things happen. They lost loved ones, lost homes, failed in epic battles. But they also believed that in the end, good wins. And if your “good” isn’t doing so well right now, then it isn’t the end. You are still in the middle of your adventure. Or maybe you’re at the scene right before the end, where everything is dark and tragic and stacked up against you so high, there is no way you can win. But if you keep moving forward, no matter how hard that step by step is, you are about to get your second wind and turn it all around.
All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
– Walt Disney
We need both courage and imagination to live the life we dream of. I am a huge Princess Bride fan. This reminds me of two scenes in the movie – one is when Wesley is on the bed. He is still not fully recovered from being mostly dead. He can hardly move, and the prince comes in to finish him off. Wesley challenges him “to the pain” and describes in great horrific detail what will happen to him should they fight. The prince ends up giving up without a fight. The whole time Wesley was completely vulnerable, but he didn’t just give up. Using his creative imagination he bluffed his way into victory from a place of complete defeat. The other scene is when Inigo Montoya finds the six fingered man and starts fighting him. At one point it appears that he is going to die and fail to avenge his father. But then he gets that second wind and defeats him. Both stories had that climax when it seemed all was dark and failure was imminent. But they kept going, one using a bluff, and one using the years of training and preparation to win the battle.
I’m a romantic and I kinda believed in this fairy tale. And in some ways I think that’s always been to my advantage, because if you can believe in something great, you can achieve something great.
– Katy Perry
Every night you dream. In your dreams about your life are these seeds of greatness. Your heart and soul speak to you in dreams. They put a little soil around those seeds of greatness. They water them. They weed out of your life the things that don’t belong. They weed out the things that are holding you back. But at the end of the day, it is up to you to take those small plants and put them out into the world to grow into what they are supposed to be. We see it happen all around us everyday. People using their imagination and technology are out there creating products, businesses, services. They are giving back to their community. They are making a difference in the world, by doing what others say can’t be done. Then there are the ones who never transplant their dreams into the world, but hold them tightly in the dark spaces of their souls. They are so afraid of the dream, that they stunt it into a characticture of what it might have been.
A dream is a wish your heart makes.
Remember Mary Poppins – “Anything can happen if you let it.” Just because you lose a shoe at midnight, it doesn’t mean that you walk home barefoot. Maybe it means a new pair of dancing shoes! And who doesn’t want a new pair of shoes?
Can you imagine this conversation between two people looking out over the water and seeing a hand reach up out of the water?
Can’t you see she is drowning?
She’s just doing that for attention.
Someone should help her.
If we acknowledge her, then she’ll never stop.
I think she is in danger.
She’s just feeling sorry for herself.
It’s too late now. She is gone.
Why didn’t she ask for help?
This conversation plays out in all of our lives at some time. For me it was my daughter was close to two years old,. She wasn’t talking. Literally no words. She had sounds, so she wasn’t mute. She just didn’t say mama or dada or anything. I had taken her to doctors and they determined that physically there was nothing wrong. She could hear fine. She understood what you were saying, she just couldn’t communicate back. So they said I should force her to talk. That she wasn’t talking because I gave her want she was trying to ask for. They said, “When she was indicating that she wanted something, don’t give it to her unless she says the word”. So we had a painful few months of following the doctors directions. Then I took her back and demanded to see some specialist. This issue was not that she didn’t want to say the words, the issue was that something wasn’t connecting correctly.
So we saw the specialist, and they couldn’t figure out anything that was wrong. So they told us to put her in daycare. They felt she wasn’t around enough children. Even though she had an older brother, cousins and friends her age from church – that wasn’t sufficient. So we put her in daycare, Another bad decision as it made her stand out. When they were sharing in circle time and she couldn’t verbalize her sounds into real words, she became even more withdrawn. So again, back to the doctors. Finally they authorized speech therapy., The area we lived in had a school she attended for four hours a day. They had a two to one ratio of speech therapist teachers who worked with her and the other children, who all had some sort of speech disability. Within 6 months she had a 100 word vocabulary and she was finally able to express herself. It took me one whole year to get her the help she needed.
I felt like I was having that conversation with those doctors, that I typed above I knew she had a problem and they were not listening or helping. They were just making things worse. Fortunately I kept after them until she got the help she needed. She had delayed speech, and it was an inherited condition. I discovered later that one of my grandfathers daughters from his first marriage had the same thing happen with one of her grandchildren. And my daughter had the same thing happen with a couple of her own children. It was not that she was doing it for attention. It was not that trying to help her get what she wanted but couldn’t tell us, was just encouraging bad behavior. She was asking for help.
Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.
Have you ever been the person asking for help? Did it feel like people were watching and talking, but no one could hear you through the water? This happened to me when I was 28 years old. I had been diagnosed with Glaucoma. They didn’t want to do surgery because I was so young. A lot of times when you are young and healthy, when they do laser surgery on your eyes, your eyes think that the surgery is a problem and “repair” the surgery back to what it thinks is the normal way for the eye to be. So we were trying out three different drugs. The first on didn’t work at all. The second one had a side effect of making me suicidal. I could tell it was making me depressed and giving me dark thoughts. I was struggling with it, but it was making me afraid to talk about it. I finally was able to tell the doctor what was happening and he put me on the third drug. Due to different side effects I ended up doing the surgery.
I was talking to my husband about the second drug and asking him if he couldn’t see what was happening. He said, that he could see it, but was so afraid of putting me over the edge I was balanced on that he did nothing. We talked about it for some time. I explained, that what that did was to make me feel like he didn’t care. That even if what he said or did was not the perfect thing, at least I would have known that he was trying, that he cared. Instead I felt abandoned and that he didn’t care about me. Like the woman in the story, I felt like I was reaching for help and he was just watching me drown.
We all have bad days. We all witness others having bad days. Sometimes those bad days turns into weeks and months and years. We are crying out for help. We feel abandoned. We all watch it happening to someone we know or love, and we don’t know what to do. So we do nothing, or we get bad advice from experts and do the wrong thing. What we need to do is go to divine source. The divine source speaks to us in our hearts. When we reach out to others from that space, even if what we do is not the perfect thing to do, they see that we are trying from a space of love and compassion. Not from a space of judgment, or making someone be wrong.
To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do, you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.
– Alan Watts
We need to realize when we are drowning and ask for help. We need seek deep within to find what it is that is currently trying to be exposed and released from our life. A wrong belief that is holding us hostage. A drug or alcohol addiction. A relationship that is killing us, but we won’t let go of. That we are trying to save someone, who is just taking us down with them. When we try to save broken people, we need to take care that we don’t cut ourselves on their broken pieces. So many patterns, addictions, issues of self sabotage. They need to be released so that we can again relax and float. Life sometimes takes us to the edge, but it is always within our control, it is our choice to be a victim, or we can decide that this life can and will be better and we are a thriver.
Life sometimes takes you into troubled waters not to drown you but to cleanse you.
So when we find ourselves in deep water. Relax and float. Reach out for help, but always remember it really comes down to being our own hero. No one else can fix us, and we can fix anyone else. It is always an inside job.
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