Have you ever felt like you have a recurring theme in your life? Something that keeps showing up over and over again?
“All of us have gold hidden within, but we have to dig to get it out” – Joyce Meyer
When I was 4 years old I went through a trauma that said it wasn’t safe to be seen or heard. I then spent most of my adult life trying to figure out why I always seemed to have one foot on the gas, and one foot on the brake. You experienced something in your early childhood, from conception through the 8th year or so, that became an unconscious program running in the background of your decision making process.
“Scars are just a treasure map for pain you’ve buried too deep to remember” – Jodi Picoult
I went for professional help because I had buried the memory, and could remember nothing of my childhood until my first day of school. Once I uncovered the memory, I could see how this one experience had impacted my entire life. I had become stuck in my own life, and it was like the car stuck in the mud. The wheels were spinning, but all that was happening was that I was throwing dirt all over the place. Now that I could see how the car was stuck in the mud, I could use tools to get back onto the dry road, and get moving on my own journey of personal transformation.
“The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right” – Neil Gaiman
You have these buried treasures that you were gifted with to share with the world. At some point in your life, someone or something happened that convinced you they were worthless pieces of trash. So feeling guilty, embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid, you buried them deep inside of yourself. Piece by piece, they must be dug up, polished up, and shared. It is these treasures which will shift the world to a better place for all of us. I write to share my treasures with everyone. I am working very hard to help the nonprofits be able to share their treasures with the world. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book “Big Magic” called this “strange jewels” which are buried within you, waiting to be uncovered.
“You have extraordinary treasures hidden within you. Bringing forth those treasures takes work and faith and focus and courage and hours of devotion” – Elizabeth Gilbert
You may have spent your life looking outside of yourself for fulfillment. You may believe that if you are the perfect child, the perfect student, the perfect spouse or parent, or the perfect employee, then you will be fulfilled. Nothing outside of yourself can really provide long lasting validation, security or love. You can get temporary fixes, but sooner or later they will all fail. Then you convince yourself that the next partner, or the next job or the next whatever will be the thing that makes you happy and fills that void. Or you may just condemn yourself as a complete failure. Instead of looking for something, you stop seeking any kind of love, security or fulfillment.
Sometimes you spend your whole life running away from yourself because the pain that lives within you is too much to bear. You bury it down deep and convince yourself that it’s the only way to survive. But in that pain is great treasure. There is beauty in the depths of your soul, where you have hidden your gifts. The great religious leaders recognize the truth of this.
“We are all jars of clay, fragile and poor, yet we carry within us an immense treasure” – Pope Francis
Every moment of your life is wrapped up in change. Every truth of today, will not necessarily be the truth tomorrow. New discoveries in science, uncover and shifts the foundations of what you know. Technology is constantly changing all aspects of your life. Just think of the number of new authors made possible by Kindle books. I never thought I would be able to change from reading paper books to online. I never thought I would use Uber or Lyft instead of imposing on a friend to pick me up or drop me off. My news comes from my Iphone more than TV. Little things that add up to a lot of changes.
In the same way, as you dig and uncover what lies deep within yourself, you will reach new truths about yourself. You will become more conscious, more awake. You will find yourself making small changes in how you live your life. You may shrug off old habits which no longer fit or feel right. You may organize or arrange your life differently to make room for new ways of living your life. You may find yourself no longer procrastinating until decisions make themselves, but rather consciously make your decisions in a way that moves you forward to living your life purpose.
The Founder of Agape International Spiritual Center, Michael Beckwith took it a step further in reflecting that these divine gifts and priceless treasures were given to you to help shift not just your own consciousness, but the consciousness of the world.
“We are on the planet to …, wrap our consciousness around the divine treasure within us” – Michael Beckwith
You have these treasure maps inside of you, which lead you to the divine treasure of love. Love of Self, Love of God and Family, Love of the World. You may be a diamond in the rough, but as you take this journey through divine love, the beauty of the diamond will be revealed within you.
Sometimes you just need an adventure to cleanse the bitter taste of life from your soul
One of the processes many of us go through at the end of the year is to go through the year that is passing. We look at our highlights, both good and bad. The successes we celebrate and the failures we sift through for the good pieces hidden in the ashes. I think that one of the things to plan for the new year is an adventure. It could be as simple as a hike up into the mountains where we can just sit in the silence and commune with our soul. Or it could be that we take a trip to somewhere we have never been.
It could be within driving distance of where we live or we could travel to a foreign country. What it needs to be is an experience that is something totally out of our comfort zone. Doing this gives us a new perspective in our life. It shifts our viewpoints and sometimes it changes our life in unforeseen ways.
The secret of making dreams come true can be summarized in four C’s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy; and the greatest of these is confidence
– Walt Disney
When we take the time at the end of the year or the beginning of the new year to look at our life, we need to be gentle with ourselves. Going deep within using Disney’s four C’s will unlock things in our heart, soul and mind that we didn’t know where there. In talking to my life/business coaches a thought floated to the surface around money. Years ago, when I would be in a discussion around money with my husband, I would say I wanted to have something physical to show in my hands for the money that I spendt. I haven’t said this for years, but it brought to the surface a belief about money that was hidden within me that needs to be released. When you approach these hidden beliefs without judgement, but instead curiosity it becomes so easy to let them go.
To breathe your own truth is your heart’s most burning desire. To live your purpose is your soul’s lifelong dream.
Don’t be at war with yourself when you look at the blocks that you have. We all have some beliefs, which block the path to our soul’s dream. Instead get curious. Give your basic life tools the chance to work, by working with them. Meditation, journaling, routines to take care of your health, living in gratitude for what each day has brought to you. Instead of challenges, you believe that you have opportunities for growth.
Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.
– Dr. Steve Maraboli
Taking down the walls you have been building your whole life to expose yourself as you really are. True freedom doesn’t have limits to who you can be. Taking up the practice of something new to grow your soul is completely dependent on your realizing it doesn’t matter that you do it well or badly. Just that you do in fact do it. You are the one who decides that an experience or change in your life is personal growth, or that it creates personal fears. Get curious and give yourself the love that you give so freely to others. Be a soothing balm to your soul.
Don’t be beautiful. They keep saying that beautiful is something a girl needs to be. But honestly? Forget that. Don’t be beautiful. Be angry, be intelligent, be witty, be klutzy, be interesting, be funny, be adventurous, be crazy, be talented – there are an eternity of things to be other than beautiful. And what is beauty anyway but a set of letters strung together to make a word? Be your own definition of amazing, always. That is so much more important than anything beautiful, ever.
– Nikita Gill
Audrey Hepburn to me is what this quote is talking about. She grew up in Belgium and was involved in fighting against the Nazi’s. She was a professional dancer and began acting just to help support her mom. At the time she wasn’t considered a beauty. Her body wasn’t the right shape, her eyebrows too bushy. But she lived her life as she wanted and because she wasn’t afraid to be who she was, she became an icon.. She won a Tony, an Oscar and Grammy and is one of only 12 people to win all three. She insisted that Hubert de Givenchy design all of her clothes for the movies she was in. She later stepped away from Hollywood and concentrated on he work as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF. I love her quote, “I’m Possible” for impossible as well as several others. She was an eternity of things, including beautiful and to me a wonderful example of living her life on her own terms.
There is a saying, if you want to change your life, change your thoughts. Thoughts are like a series of stepping stones across a river. Some of the stones are slippery from the moss as the water runs over them. Some of them are unstable and rock as you step on them. Some of the stones are tilted with edges that cut like a knife and hard to walk across. Some of the stones are firmly planted like a foundation stone. We can’t cross the river without stepping on the stones. We choose the stones to step on. Each stone we walk across, becomes part of our life’s path. Some trip us up and we fall into the water. Some support us, some don’t. Life demands change, but it always comes back to us choosing.
We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.
– Max Depree
I am listening to the Lord of The Rings soundtrack as I write this. The Lord of the Rings is one of my favorite books and it really exemplifies change, with the journey of the characters. Some like Frodo and Samwise were challenged to greatness. They had failures when it seemed like the evil of the ring would destroy them. They wanted to give up, because what was asked of them was so hard. They kept walking towards their destination and that journey forged them, like a hammer hitting them again and again as they walked through the fiery tests. Each challenge brought them closer to the great characters they had the potential to be.
Inspiration and growth only come from adversity and from challenge – from stepping away from what’s comfortable and familiar and stepping out in the unknown
– Ben Saunders
Boromir failed in his duty. Gollum swung from bad to good to bad again. Saurman fell from being a protector of the world to its destroyer. So many were tested and found wanting, not because it was their destiny to fail, or that they were inherently evil. It was because they stopped trying to be good and wise. It was easier to let the bad take over. Sometimes we think that we have lost of the best part of us, like when Gandalf went down into the fires with the Balrog, and we don’t know how we can continue. It seems like all is lost. But like Gandalf coming back as a new being, we can always be reborn. As long as we keep walking, the way will open before us. When we push the edges of the known universe, we discover new lands to explore.
I always find beauty in things that are odd and imperfect – they are much more interesting.
– Marc Jacobs
Have you ever monitored the thoughts that cross your mind? The things you think, but filter and so don’t say? An interesting exercise is to sit on a bench at a mall, park or beach – somewhere where there are lots of people. Turn on the recording button on your phone and just record your thoughts as you watch the people walk by. When you replay it, notice if the majority of your thoughts were positive or negative. Where you funny? Quirky? Profound? Think about your favorite TV shows or movies. The characters in the book, movie, TV shows that you remember and fall in love with, are the ones that are quirky – Spock or Data from Star Trek, or maybe the science nerd from NCIS Abby or Dr. Mallard. Punky Brewster with the funny socks. The characters on The Big Bang Show. The list goes on and on. Find the beauty in you being you.
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
– George Bernard Shaw
Asking yourself questions about your thoughts can provide useful insight into thoughts that you can work on changing. Whenever anything went wrong for my mom, she had a habit of saying, “I could just kill myself”. She didn’t even realize she was saying it until one day my son said to her after something happened, “I know grandma you could just kill yourself”. She was horrified that she had said this so often that her young grandson said it back to her, and she stopped saying it.
Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere.
As you get curious and not judgmental about the thoughts, dig beneath them to see what patterns are in your life that you didn’t realize were there. We all have them. How many times have you been driving to or from work and realized that you are missing moments in your drive – that suddenly you are home or at work and you don’t remember part of the drive? Shifting the patterns is what makes real transformation of your thoughts. I have hated spiders since I was a kid and got bit when I was sleeping on my hand. When I was talking a college creative writing course years ago, they had us read a book by Sue Hubbell. Her husband and her were both professors at a University and he decided one day to walk away from tenure and go live in the Ozarks. A few months later, he left Sue also and she wrote about that year in her life where everything fell apart and she was left with no money and no job and a house in the middle of nowhere.
Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
– Wayne W. Dyer
Each chapter was written around something in nature. One chapter was about spiders. When I finished that chapter, my relationship with spiders changed. While I still don’t “like” them, I am no longer terrified of them. This chapter for me highlighted the fact that when we learn more about something, it changes our relationship with it. It takes the fears away, because we removed the unknown from the equation. When you go beyond what you think is real, you step into the unknown. While the unknown is filled with fears, each day our relationship with it changes, because more becomes known. Like walking down a path through the fog – we may not be able to see far into the distance, but each step reveals what was hidden before. Just keep stepping on the next stone, taking the next step in your life. Make this quote your mantra, and you will have an amazing life.
Today I create a WONDERFUL NEW DAY and a WONDERFUL NEW FUTURE.
– Louise Hay
Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.
– Jon Bon Jovi
Passion is always calling to us. It pokes at us in our dreams. It shows up in the music we listen to, the movies we watch, the books we read. We see it everywhere and we unconsciously sweep it under the rug. We don’t have time for it right now. We have jobs to go to, bills to pay, children to raise. It becomes our someday mantra. Someday I will write poetry. Someday I will write the music that I hear in my head. Someday I will write down the story I have been telling my children and draw out the illustrations. Someday I will take that class at the local community college and learn more about that profession that is calling to me. We will live the life of our dreams someday. Someday we will listen to our hearts calling. Someday we will live it, breathe it, begin it.
Passion is living uncomfortably on purpose.
It is choosing to stay up late and wake up early.
It is choosing to forego certain luxuries, and sometimes even some necessities.
It is choosing to look foolish, even when you care what others think.
It is asking for advice and choosing not to take it.
It is being afraid and anxious, but going out of your comfort zone anyway.
Even though all of our “reasons” for not following our passion seem to be logical and reasonable, they are in fact killing your soul. It has this intense yearning to reach out and grow, and we are burying it and telling it we will attend to it later. Your time is limited. The cemetery is filled with people who died with their book, their music, their unexplored talents never allowed to grow into the marvelous creations that they could have been. My grandmother made the worlds best carrot cake. Her frosting was with cream cheese, but it was different than any frosting I have ever tasted. It wasn’t too sweet, which is where for my taste buds most cakes are ruined. It was a secret recipe and one day she had a heart attack and died and no one ever knew what her secret recipe was. Today decide to share your secret recipes. Today choose to live uncomfortably on purpose. Choose to look foolish and walk away from the comfortable life and let the fires of your passion direct you., Today choose to take the first step outside of your comfort zone,.
Always go with your passions. Never ask yourself if it is realistic or not.
– Deepak Chopra
When you step outside of that comfort zone, it is really scary. Others will say, “have you gone crazy?” But secretly in their hearts they are jealous. As they watch you take not only the first step, but step after step, what you are doing is giving them permission to gather up their own courage and take their own first step. Like when we try to do anything that is new, there will be failures. What is so interesting when you look backwards and review your journey, each of those failures are when you grew the most. For me, it has been learning from a self sabotage failure, expand my comfort zone, live in that space for a while, then another push out of the comfort zone, another failure, grow from the experience and live in the new comfort zone for a while and do it all again. Your own journey will show you a pattern. Each time we examine the pattern, we can tweak it to change the trajectory to be less failures, or less time in the new comfort zone, or add in anything that we think is missing from the process. The critical thing is just like following the trail of breadcrumbs that we keep following to where our passion is leading us.
You can’t do passion halfway. Living your passion means you’re all in. You trust your heart and trust your gut wherever that takes you.
– Joe Plummer
Too many people live an unfulfilled life. They have a daily existence of doing, but they are not really being. They wake up, go to a job that doesn’t fulfill them, come home and watch TV or take care of their families needs, but at no time is there time to live the life they dream about in their hearts. Don’t settle. Don’t just live in the rut and decorate it, thinking that will make it more bearable. We think that we are making others happy by denying ourselves. But you living a half lived life doesn’t benefit anyone. You are in fact robbing your family of knowing and loving who you really are. You are stealing from the world what gifts you brought to the world. You are telling your God, thanks for the seeds of genius that you planted in me, but I am not going to use them.
Respond to every call that excites your spirit.
Instead be scared of living a life without passion directing it. Be scared of living an unfulfilled life. Be scared of being dead, while you are still alive. Don’t put off your dreams one more day. Life is really pretty simple. Stop make it more difficult than it is. Start doing things that you love. Eat every last bite. Go our and start creating. Live your dreams out loud. Wear your passion in dramatic color.
Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping . . . waiting . . . and though unwanted . . . unbidden . . . it will stir . . . open it’s jaws and howl. It speaks to us . . . guides us . . . passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love . . . the clarity of hatred . . and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If you could live without passion maybe we’d know some kind of peace . . . but we would be hollow . . . empty rooms shuttered and dark. Without passion we’d be truly dead.
– Josh Whedon
Can you imagine this conversation between two people looking out over the water and seeing a hand reach up out of the water?
Can’t you see she is drowning?
She’s just doing that for attention.
Someone should help her.
If we acknowledge her, then she’ll never stop.
I think she is in danger.
She’s just feeling sorry for herself.
It’s too late now. She is gone.
Why didn’t she ask for help?
This conversation plays out in all of our lives at some time. For me it was my daughter was close to two years old,. She wasn’t talking. Literally no words. She had sounds, so she wasn’t mute. She just didn’t say mama or dada or anything. I had taken her to doctors and they determined that physically there was nothing wrong. She could hear fine. She understood what you were saying, she just couldn’t communicate back. So they said I should force her to talk. That she wasn’t talking because I gave her want she was trying to ask for. They said, “When she was indicating that she wanted something, don’t give it to her unless she says the word”. So we had a painful few months of following the doctors directions. Then I took her back and demanded to see some specialist. This issue was not that she didn’t want to say the words, the issue was that something wasn’t connecting correctly.
So we saw the specialist, and they couldn’t figure out anything that was wrong. So they told us to put her in daycare. They felt she wasn’t around enough children. Even though she had an older brother, cousins and friends her age from church – that wasn’t sufficient. So we put her in daycare, Another bad decision as it made her stand out. When they were sharing in circle time and she couldn’t verbalize her sounds into real words, she became even more withdrawn. So again, back to the doctors. Finally they authorized speech therapy., The area we lived in had a school she attended for four hours a day. They had a two to one ratio of speech therapist teachers who worked with her and the other children, who all had some sort of speech disability. Within 6 months she had a 100 word vocabulary and she was finally able to express herself. It took me one whole year to get her the help she needed.
I felt like I was having that conversation with those doctors, that I typed above I knew she had a problem and they were not listening or helping. They were just making things worse. Fortunately I kept after them until she got the help she needed. She had delayed speech, and it was an inherited condition. I discovered later that one of my grandfathers daughters from his first marriage had the same thing happen with one of her grandchildren. And my daughter had the same thing happen with a couple of her own children. It was not that she was doing it for attention. It was not that trying to help her get what she wanted but couldn’t tell us, was just encouraging bad behavior. She was asking for help.
Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.
Have you ever been the person asking for help? Did it feel like people were watching and talking, but no one could hear you through the water? This happened to me when I was 28 years old. I had been diagnosed with Glaucoma. They didn’t want to do surgery because I was so young. A lot of times when you are young and healthy, when they do laser surgery on your eyes, your eyes think that the surgery is a problem and “repair” the surgery back to what it thinks is the normal way for the eye to be. So we were trying out three different drugs. The first on didn’t work at all. The second one had a side effect of making me suicidal. I could tell it was making me depressed and giving me dark thoughts. I was struggling with it, but it was making me afraid to talk about it. I finally was able to tell the doctor what was happening and he put me on the third drug. Due to different side effects I ended up doing the surgery.
I was talking to my husband about the second drug and asking him if he couldn’t see what was happening. He said, that he could see it, but was so afraid of putting me over the edge I was balanced on that he did nothing. We talked about it for some time. I explained, that what that did was to make me feel like he didn’t care. That even if what he said or did was not the perfect thing, at least I would have known that he was trying, that he cared. Instead I felt abandoned and that he didn’t care about me. Like the woman in the story, I felt like I was reaching for help and he was just watching me drown.
We all have bad days. We all witness others having bad days. Sometimes those bad days turns into weeks and months and years. We are crying out for help. We feel abandoned. We all watch it happening to someone we know or love, and we don’t know what to do. So we do nothing, or we get bad advice from experts and do the wrong thing. What we need to do is go to divine source. The divine source speaks to us in our hearts. When we reach out to others from that space, even if what we do is not the perfect thing to do, they see that we are trying from a space of love and compassion. Not from a space of judgment, or making someone be wrong.
To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do, you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.
– Alan Watts
We need to realize when we are drowning and ask for help. We need seek deep within to find what it is that is currently trying to be exposed and released from our life. A wrong belief that is holding us hostage. A drug or alcohol addiction. A relationship that is killing us, but we won’t let go of. That we are trying to save someone, who is just taking us down with them. When we try to save broken people, we need to take care that we don’t cut ourselves on their broken pieces. So many patterns, addictions, issues of self sabotage. They need to be released so that we can again relax and float. Life sometimes takes us to the edge, but it is always within our control, it is our choice to be a victim, or we can decide that this life can and will be better and we are a thriver.
Life sometimes takes you into troubled waters not to drown you but to cleanse you.
So when we find ourselves in deep water. Relax and float. Reach out for help, but always remember it really comes down to being our own hero. No one else can fix us, and we can fix anyone else. It is always an inside job.
In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
– Deepak Chopra
Chaos is actually a good sign. It tells you that you are about to have a breakthrough. I love this photo – we literally have the elephant in the room. It is being ignored and creating chaos. Chairs and tables are being destroyed, dishes crashing to the floor, and she is sitting there like “what?” Chaos is one of the keys that tells us things are about to change. We have the ability to choose in this situation. We can continue to ignore the “elephant in the room” or we can acknowledge it and start to deal proactively with the changes happening in our life.
All great changes are preceded by chaos.
All of the great inventions have come from a place of chaos. When you think outside of the box, it is in a place of chaos. All of the possibilities are buzzing around your head, all trying desperately to get your attention. It is being willing to be told you are stupid and foolish to think that you can be an agent of change. A chaos agent. Someone who stirs things up. Look at the disruptors currently bringing change in our world. 3D printing is on the brink of being able to create organs that can be used to transplant and save lives. They are creating car parts, hearing aids, and implants.
Madness is somewhere between chaos and having a dream.
– R.M. Drake
Soon every piece of personal information, drivers license, credit cards, bank accounts, your id card for work will all be digital and take just your thumb print or a scan of a chip located within your body. Virtual reality will soon impact with endless possibilities beyond gaming. Our houses will soon be totally controlled with the “internet of everything”. More and more of everyday life will become fully automated, such as self driving cars. Think of every science fiction movie or book you have read and we are quickly approaching the implementation of that fantasy becoming our reality.
The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join in the dance.
– Alan W Watts
When life is crazy and the chaos is driving us mad – faith in the divine plan gives us an anchor. It keeps us steady in the raging storm, so that when the storm has passed, we can pick up the pieces of our life and carry on. It gives us a vision to hold on to that can keep us calm in the midst of the insanity. And if we are courageous, we can let go of the expectations of how our life should be and see instead how our life could be. When you let go of the expectations, you make space for something better.
Never mind your ideas of how things should look, your expectations of how things must be. Life will scramble all of that into an unrecognizable chaos. The difficulty, the joy, the privilege is in being undone and then creatively reshaping yourself into a form you never imagined could be so beautiful.
– Amy Larsen
When the chaos creates frustration, it is because we have become confused. A lack of clairity creates the frustration. It is a poisonous emotion, stopping us from achieving our dreams. We need to step out of this negative emotion, out of the darkness. Release the frustration and get back into curiosity about what is happening. Curiosity about what old belief we have outgrown that is expressing itself thorugh the frustration. And get curious about what new something is being born into our life.
Life has dark moments and it is out of our darkness that we often find our greatest beauties and strengths.
– Bryant McGill
Chaos is only a problem when we get stuck in it. If in every place we go, the elephant is in the room wrecking all of the furniture, then we need to seriously examine our life. That kind of chaos is not a predictor of change, but rather an avoidance of making changes. Chaos is a bridge to take us from where we currently are in our life, to where we are seeking to go. A bridge makes the connection from one side ( where we are ) to the other side ( where we want to be ). You use it to travel across the river or lake, or across the ravine. You don’t park on the bridge and live the rest of your life there, afraid to go forwards or backwards. It is our self-identifying with the chaos, as though that is who we are, that will keep us in the darkness. While life and chaos will give us those dark moments, it is not who we are.
Change is growth. It is living life. It is about recognizing and being conscious of what the journey is teaching us about ourselves. Becoming conscious, becoming self aware. It is recognizing the elephant is in the room. Is it being self destructive and needing to be addressed? Or is it just sitting there waiting to be called into action?
“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me” – Carol Burnett
This photo so clearly explains why other people don’t get the transformations that you are being called to make in your life. There are two different levels of perception here. And each person can only see their own level of perception. Both are true. I can explain what I see with twenty thousand words, and if your level of perception is contained in the world she is pulling away, dark depressing and dreary, you will never see the sunshine that I do.
“Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands” – Clint Eastwood
The better you know yourself the better you can embrace change. Self knowledge is vital, because your subconscious minds run these programs behind the scenes. Your subconscious like things exactly the way they are. It will try to keep you in your comfort zone. You need to let go of the old programs.
Most of the fears that you have, are fears of the unknown. Those fears feature negative programing. This programming will keep you stuck in the shadows, in the dark. It will keep you from perceiving what else is possible. I know that for myself when I have a medical issue, waiting for test results is the worst. My mind goes crazy thinking of all of the possible worst case scenarios. I am definitely in a dark place with wild imagining of brain tumors, cancer, a failing organ, and so on.
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates
But once I have a diagnosis, it all changes. Now I am researching and figuring out how to cure the issue and become healthy again. Now I have something tangible to work towards. The unknown has been removed and that fear is dissolved. I am free again to begin making positive changes for my health and my life.
“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears” – Nelson Mandela
That doesn’t mean that fear doesn’t show up again. It does. But if you are being honest with yourself, you can identify the unknown piece that is creating the fear and remove it with new knowledge.
“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living” – Gail Sheehy
How do you know when fear of the unknown is showing up in your life?
Whenever these feelings start to exist, it is time to get quiet in your mind. To sit quietly and ask your inner knower
“I am on the hunt for who I’ve not yet become” – Unknown
Once you identify the fear, then sit with it a while longer. See what lies beneath that fear. I can guarantee that there is always another layer. Fears tend to travel in packs like wild dogs. Each dog having its own fear. Once you think you have given each dog a name, now you can make the dog stop its barking by addressing its own particular fear.
You will know if you are successful because you will feel the energy and passion return to your dream. All of a sudden you will feel flow happening and that progress is being made. It is like a hose that has a kink in it. At first it feels like you are not getting any water pressure. But once you find the kink and straighten it out, the water comes rushing out at full force.
“Change can be beautiful when we are brave enough to evolve with it, and change can be brutal when we fearfully resist” – Bryant McGill
The key is to pay attention to what is happening in your life. It is so easy to get lost and sidetracked. It is so easy for the fears so sneak up on you and gain control. It is also easy to stop and listen to your heart and soul for guidance.
“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop” – Unknown
It takes practice to check in with yourself on a regular basis. Meditation and journaling are two practices that will help you to keep track of where you are, and wake you up if you start to fall asleep.
I know how much my writing helps me to catch myself when I start to get sidetracked. It brings my energy back up into the higher vibrations. These higher vibrations are a vital part of bringing your dreams into reality. Remind yourself of what you have already transformed in your past. Take courage that you can transform whatever is currently in front of you now. Truly, the better you know yourself, the better you can embrace what is now changing in your life.
What are your dreams, visions, your life purpose? Are you on track to bring them into reality and complete them? Have you allowed distractions to side track you? Are you unclear on what your life purpose is or how to bring it into reality?
The first Saturday of every month we get together on Zoom to talk about our challenges, to encourage each other, and provide inspiration to continue on our individual journeys. As we share the lessons of each one’s individual journey, resilience is grown for everyone. Join us for the next conversation and become even more inspired to reach out and pull your dreams into reality.
“Today I am discovering who I am. Today I am becoming my person, worthy of developing all of me. Today I am beginning to know that I am okay the way I am” – Ruth Fishel
Discovering who you are requires that you go on a journey. You can’t become who you are trying to become by remaining where you are, or what you are. This journey begins with curiosity. Asking the hard questions of ourselves. Where am I going? What am I learning from what I read, what I listen to, what I am watching on TV? What do those I associate with have me thinking about? Are the answers to these questions what I want my life to be about? It isn’t chance that helps me to become what I am seeking. It is making transformational life changes that does that.
“If we are always arriving and departing, it is also true that we are eternally anchored. One’s destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things” – Henry Miller
When you start out on this journey of self discovery, you think that if you can just learn enough, take in enough knowledge that you will develop the wisdom to become the person you want to be. It is the natural first step, and you may get lost in this first step.
There is this gap. You keep stuffing it with creative ideas, and plans, and dreams – but it doesn’t seem like you are creating anything that truly bridges that gap.
I love the word GAP – because it is Gods Area of Preparation. That is why it doesn’t seem like the bridge is ever getting completed. The gap will be bridged when divine timing and actions have been completed. Don’t give up. Keeping fighting to reach the other side of the gap.
“I love the person I’ve become, because I fought to become her” – Kaci Diane
I remember the true story of an Olympic Athlete. She went to a sports camp as a child and demonstrated some talent with volleyball. The coach told her that if she worked hard, it would give her a scholarship to college. So she worked hard and when it came time, she wrote to the colleges with a good volleyball program and asked them to come see her play. She got her teachers to write letters about her and was successful in getting a full ride to college.
Her senior year in college she was watching the Olympic Games and decided to chase the dream of being in the Olympics. So again, she wrote letters to come see her play and got her professors to write letters and was successful in getting into the tryouts. She spent a week in tryouts and worked hard, and even though she felt the other players were better she made it to the team. The team lived and worked in Southern California for 4 years to the next Olympic Games.
During that time she realized that if she was going to be on the team that played in the games, she needed to tear her game down and rebuild it. Now think about this – she was good enough to get a full ride into college. In college she was All American. She tried out and was accepted on the Olympic Team. Obviously she was talented and skilled. But she knew that she could be more, so she fought to be more.
“I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow. When there’s that moment of “wow, I’m not really sure I can do this” and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough” – Marissa Meyer
So when we are having a bad day, week, month or year – that is something to remember. Sometimes we need to tear ourselves back down to the foundations of who we are, and rebuild.
Take all of the lessons that we have learned in this life, all of the crazy experiences, hurts, blessings in disguise and know that none of it was a mistake. Find positive ways to be in the world. Make a difference, no matter how small it feels. We can be the change we want to see in our world.
“Do not confuse the word “belief” with the word “wish”. The two are not the same . . . the element of faith is the only sure power by which a wish may be translated into a belief, and a belief into a reality” – Napoleon Hill
It can be really scary, to keep going when you are in the part of change that you have to move mountains. You see the pain, the heartache, the mistakes that you are making along the way. You judge yourself, and cower in fear. You wish it would all just go away and leave you lying in the middle of the floor, just a shapeless puddle of confusion and fears.
Instead, get up. Shake off the confusion, face the fear and walk in in the power of who you really are. Remember that it isn’t what happens to you that defines you. It isn’t the mistakes you made along the way that defines you. What defines you is who you chose to become in spite of all of it. At the end of the journey, the only one who is responsible for who you become is you. You are a work in progress. Each day is a new day. A new pattern of thoughts. A new wave of emotions, A new belief that you can become whatever you wish to become.
“You’ll learn as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your own terms, and never ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though everybody is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit it” – Mandy Hale
Soaring in solitude, Grandfather Eagle calls to me as he circles high above.
With a few strokes his wings push him even higher above mother earth.
His razor vision upon me, he reminds me that I have the gift of inner vision to see far off in the distance of my own journey.
Just as he sometimes soars on the air currents, and other times beats his wings to fly against the wind, I too can adjust my journey to meet what is coming down the road to meet me.
As he circles overhead he conserves his energy by gliding with the air currents.
I am reminded of the need for rest, to not be constantly pushing my body to exhaustion.
He appears to be drifting, but one pump of his wings reminds me that action is always needed to remain in forward motion and go the full distance.
At all times he is connected to mother earth, staying grounded with his vision.
He always remembers where home is. I see he flies with purpose.
If I am to remain strong in my vision, I too must be grounded into our mother’s soil, so that I am not blown off course by the winds of distraction.
He flexes his talons and cries out again reminding me that I must listen to my intuition in order to know when to take flight, and when to stand strong and fight for the vision within me.
I must be strong enough to not only give birth to it, but to also grow it into maturity.
I must know when it is time to leave the nest, stretch out my wings and take flight.
He shows me visions of his long journey,
I see high above the ground the hundreds of miles he has flown, from new moon to new moon, over the mountains, the desert, hills, valleys, lakes and rivers he has seen.
He speaks to me of his great courage in his willingness to explore the unknown, to not just look in the light, but to peer into the dark shadowed places.
He is not terrified of the emptiness of the unknown.
I see the great lesson from the creator that he is teaching, to not be afraid to journey into places and experiences that are unknown.
Even the dark places have important lessons to be learned.
He plummets out of the sky dropping without sound, and with perfect accuracy catches his prey unaware.
As he climbs back into the heights he calls out to see if I understand the import of yet another lesson, that of being here now.
The prey was not aware of the danger approaching.
The prey was living in either the past which can’t be changed, or the future which hasn’t yet happened.
I nod my head grateful for the reminder to be alert to what is happening around me, so that I don’t miss the messages that the great creator sends me.
The windwalker alone of all birds flies above the rain instead of landing until storms ends.
He reflects that those with the Windwalkers gifts must never allow circumstances to deflect us from our purpose, but instead gather our courage and stretch our limits.
By flying higher, we gain a greater perspective, and we can see that while others might be shortsighted and think we are in retreat, we are in fact advancing high above the clouds.
We do not let hardships bring us down into hiding, but we continue onwards in our journey.
His sharp beak and strong jaw muscles reflect the importance of knowing when to speak , how much to say, and how strong the words need to be in order to impart the lessons of the past and those visions yet to happen.
The Windwalker, like many of our earth’s brothers and sisters in the animal kingdom, have many lessons to teach us reminding us of what we already know, but have forgotten.
We must have the eyes to see, the ears to listen, and the wisdom into our heart, and them implement it in our lives.
When you hear the cry of the eagle, stop and contemplate what his reminder to you might be.
“Many of us step foot on to the path to spiritual enlightenment expecting it to lead us onward and upward, hoping to become something better than we are, and ready to gather all of the important things we need along the way. What a surprise it is when we eventually realize that this path isn’t taking us onward but inward, that we’re not gather things so much as letting them go, and that there was never anything more to aspire to than the truth of what we already are” – Cristen Rodgers
Something will occur in your life when the soul is ready to wake up. It could be a health scare or near death experience that you have. It could be losing a parent, spouse or child. Loss of identity when you lose your job. A divorce. Then come the signs of feeling that your life is empty, devoid of real meaning and purpose.
It is as though you are lost in the woods and you keep trying to find a trail back to your car. You keep wandering and you’re starting to panic. You feel as though something is lost or missing in your life. Like there is this giant hole that you keep walking around. You don’t know what it means, except that you have to find something to make your life meaningful.
You start questioning everything you have been taught. Either you have abandoned God, or you feel he has abandoned you. There is a sense of injustice. You feel like a blind person groping about in the darkness in a strange place. Loved ones may be trying to help you, and you just want everyone to leave you alone. In fact it seems to be a necessity if you are to figure this out – you must be alone.
“Fortunately, some are born with spiritual immune systems that sooner or later give rejection to the illusory worldview grafted upon them from birth through social conditioning. They begin sensing that something is amiss, and start looking for answers. Inner knowledge and anomalous outer experiences show them a side of reality others at oblivious to, and so begins their journey of awakening. Each step of the journey is made by following the heart instead of following the crowd and by choosing knowledge over the veils of ignorance” – Henri Bergson
It is the being alone that allows you to go within. Solitude is important when you start on this path to enlightenment. You need for space for just sitting and going within. To connect, to see what is crying out to be released as not being part of your authentic self. To regenerate and renew the pieces of you that were killed off as part of social conditioning. The parts you buried because you were told it wasn’t safe to be who you really are. It takes a great deal of courage to go within and choose to be your true self.
“Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside awakens” – Carl Jung
When you start down this path, you will think you are missing something. Think back to the Wizard of Oz and the journey down the yellow brick road. Toto was a catalyst for Dorothy always running off when Dorothy was needing to wake up and become conscious about something. The first thing she found on the journey was the ruby slippers. She had no idea of the power of the slippers and they remained dormant until she was enlightened enough to correctly use them.
The Scarecrow, The Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, they all had what they were looking for. The journey for them, was to look inside and expand their boundaries and eliminate their limitations. To realize their full potential. They weren’t missing anything. They just needed to awaken to who they already were. To choose to be better. To let go of doubts and stories. You tell yourself similar stories about not being capable of doing something. The Wizard of Oz cast of characters needed to gather enough experience, to have the confidence that they were more than enough.
“Many of us step foot on the path to spiritual enlightenment expecting it to lead us onward and upward, hoping to become something better than we are, and ready to gather all of the important things we need along the way. What a surprise it is when we eventually realize that this path isn’t taking us onward but inward, that we’re not gather things so much as letting them go, and that there was never anything more to aspire to than the truth of what we already are”– Cristen Rodgers
As you walk down your own yellow brick road of self discovery, you will uncover the enlightenment that you’re seeking. You will discover who you are deep within your heart and soul. You will grow and transform into who you are destined to become. Your life experiences have been designed specifically, to help you learn the skills required to fulfill your destiny.
Instead of continuing to conform to others ideas of who you should be, you choose to listen to the guidance of your own soul’s voice. To travel the unexplored path, to think outside of the box, to be curious and question everything you have been taught. To discover the impossible journey.
“My message, especially to young people is to have courage to think differently, courage to invent, to travel the unexplored path, courage to discover the impossible and to conquer the problems and succeed. These are great qualities that they must work towards. This is my message to the young people” – A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
Curiosity is the beginning of awakening. It is the first step on the path to discover who you are, what your purpose is, what feeds your soul. When you get curious you start exploring the world around you with different eyes. You get clarity about what to release and leave behind, as you see what no longer fits who you are becoming. You open up to new things; new truths, new understandings, new awakenings. You create the magic of uncovering who you are.
The treasures of gifts you never acknowledged. You let go of fear after fear. You start honoring and valuing who you are deep down inside. Self love and self trust grow and expand with each fear that you release. You realize that each fear was designed to hold you captive. You were caged by fear, so that you couldn’t discover your divine self.
“You reach a point where you feel yourself going through an awakening. You look at what you used to do and who you used to be. It hurts because you realize you believed in and promoted nonsense. You grow; you evolve and you stop because you no longer operate at that frequency. As a result, there’s certain people that you have to walk away from. As a result, you start to realize just how messed up the world is. You want to help; you want to heal; you want to make it a better world. This is how you know you’re awakening a higher level of consciousness . . . “ – Sylvester McNutt
When you start living from that authentic place deep inside of you, you will be truly seen. In order to be who you are at the soul level, you have to let go of the stories you have been defined by your whole life. It is like a puzzle where the pieces were jammed into place because they didn’t quite fit. When you are living life from the authentic place at the soul level you begin, piece by piece, to rearrange all of those jammed pieces of the puzzle.
You realize who you are at your deepest level. When that happens, all the pieces will fit together with no gaps. That is when you will experience a whole new level of love, grace, peace and serenity in your life.
You will still have road blocks on your path. You will still continue to grow through success and failures. The difference is that you begin to recover faster. The difference is that as you embrace what is true, you keep being curious about your life purpose. You ask better questions that when you started. The difference is measured by real progress on our life’s journey.
“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level” – Eckhart Tolle
The biggest gap in your life is between what you know and what you do.
– Bob Proctor
It is up to us to be a prisoner of our past, by remaining in it; or to be a champion of our future by building it. If your life path was to travel from one of these formations to the next one and so on to the end, how would you do it?
There is always a gap between intention and action.
– Paulo Coelho
You could anchor yourself and rappel down the mountain, then walk to the next peak and scale up that peak. Then cross the peak, rappel down the mountain and repeat over and over again.
We are human. We are not perfect. We are alive. We try things. We make mistakes. We stumble. We fall. We get hurt. We rise again. We try again. We keep learning. We keep growing. And we are thankful for this priceless opportunity called life.
Or, you could become a bridge builder. You could build a temporary bridge out of ropes or wood, or a bridge designed with stone or steel that would last for many years.
Listen to your heart. It knows everything.
– Paulo Coelho
Neither way is wrong or right. Just different choices. We could for sake of argument take opposing viewpoints on the better, faster way to walk this path. We could discuss how those that follow us would make better speed with some type of bridge. Or how scaling up each peak would define us, and make us stronger. For me, rock climbing would be facing the fear of falling to my death. It would test my faith in ropes, cords, carabineers, slings, anchors , and harnesses. At the end of the day, the analogy is that each of us has our own path of divine destiny to walk. There really isn’t a right or wrong way to walk the path. The lessons will come to us regardless of what we choose.
The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things.
– Rainer Maria Rilke
Some time ago I self identified a pattern that I have. I call it one foot on the brake and one foot on the gas. It began with a childhood experience when I was four years old. I was very motivated to the best in school and when I was an adult to climb the corporate ladder. I was also very introverted and didn’t like to be seen and noticed. This pattern of drawing attention to myself by being a master at my job, and then shrinking back when I got the attention used to drive me crazy.
Mind the gap – it’s the distance between life as you dream it and life as it is.
– Cate Blanchett
I finally through years of self improvement identified this pattern and starting working to shift and transform it. Every time I feel like I am walking in slow motion, or pushing a boulder up hill, I know that this pattern has reentered my life. It is an energetic signal that I am being blocked in some way. Have you ever had a project you wanted to complete and every time you sat down to work on it, you would remember something else you had to do. It might be an email that simply must be written and sent now. It might be laundry or dishes that have to be done. You notice a spider web on the ceiling that must be removed. You have to run to the store. Your mind is looking for something to distract you away from the project. Suddenly the whole day is gone and you didn’t work on it at all.
Put gaps in your life: moments to reflect, prepare, meditate and breathe.
– Jody Adams
For whatever reason your life pattern is trying to shift you away from the project. There is something about this project that it wants to avoid. In some manner, this project is pushing up against the boundaries you have set in your subconscious. It sees a danger, and so it works hard to gently distract you away from it. The completion of the project will in some way change and shift your life – it could be that you are aware of it, or it could be some unforeseen possibility that your subconscious wants to avoid.
In my case, I started shifting the pattern first by writing these blogs. It felt safe because I am unseen and unknown to you. Then I started speaking on stages about my transformational work. This was also not too hard, because with the lights on a stage, it is hard to see the audience. They aren’t up close and personal. The hardest thing to shift was being able to walk into a room and not be terrified of meeting and having conversations with strangers.
Negativity is born in the gap where love has been excluded Gaps occur in places where we are afraid to see ourselves.
– Deepak Chopra
What I have discovered though is that this pattern is really great at camouflaging itself. It has chameleon qualities. When I started with this Facebook page, I knew that I needed a website for the blog posts. Instead of 30 – 45 days it took me nine months and the hold ups were all from me. It took me months to actually sit down and start writing my first book. I am now creating a webinar series to go deeper and share my Transformational Compass™, as well as the launching of my first book and what we are calling our Ambassador program. Again “Cami” my life pattern of putting on the brakes has been showing up. The good news is that it is taking less time for me to recognize what she is doing and shift her efforts at slowing me down.
I may not have gone where I intended to go. But I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
– Douglas Adams
Many teach that we came into this life to have a certain experience. Mine seems to be dealing with this pattern of foot on the brakes, when I am pushing hard on the gas to accomplish a goal. Now I recognize it has chameleon like qualities. I know that when I feel like I am not progressing towards my goals, I have to go looking for that sneaky lizard.
Love is a beautiful things to bring into the gap of life’s unknowns.
– Lysa TerKeurst
Here’s to the space, the gaps, the pauses, the silence. Here’s to embracing five minutes of slow everyday. Here’s to savoring that cup of tea, hot chocolate or glass of wine. Here’s to watching the wind in the leaves. Here’s to sitting in a swing and enjoying the feeling of flying as we swing up into the sky. Here’s to lying on a sandy beach and listening to the surf as the waves come into the shore and retreat back into the ocean. To the smell of the salt air and the cry of the seagulls. Here’s to lake fishing along the shoreline, casting out the line and sitting in companionable silence as you reel it back in and cast again. Here’s to listening to the laughter of our children and grandchildren. Here’s to sharing a meal with new friends and old friends. Here’s to a roasting marshmallows and making smores around an outdoor fire pit.. Here’s to turning off our phones and having a conversation.
The best thing in life is to go ahead with all your plans and your dreams, to embrace life and to live everyday with passion, to lose and still keep the faith and to win while being grateful. All of this because the world belongs to those who dare to go after what they want. And because life is really too short to be insignificant.
– Charlie Chaplin
This life pattern is my GAP – Gods Area of Preparation. This is where I learn about new ways that my life pattern has shifted, and I learn new ways to build bridges to close that gap.
The winds of life will try and pull you off course. The space between your values and behavior is called the Integrity gap. It is the places where what you say you are doing and what actions are actually taking place, have a gap. It isn’t that you are purposefully not living in integrity. It is that sneaky chameleon who has disguised itself to put up road blocks to the actions that you intend to do. Going back to places where you feel like you might have the brake and gas on at the same time. Once you recognize the patterns, it becomes easier and easier to remove the brakes and have your actions spring back into gear.
Can you see GAPs in your life pattern? Do you see where you need to learn to build bridges to close off the gap to get to your destination? Don’t be afraid to explore and discover what the broken pieces of you are trying to say. Mosaics at made from broken pieces, and they are a beautiful work of art. All of life experiences come together to create who we are. To expose the divine gifts we have, we rearrange the pieces to uncover the hidden treasures we have buried deep within us. To show us just how every shattered dream, served to provide just what was needed to move forward in strength.
Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending out lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not early as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
– Brene Brown
Stay away from people who gossip and spread rumors. They are choosing the path of emotional bullying and negativity.
– Dr Steve Maraboli
This is a really profound quote. It really struck a chord in my heart because I so resonated with the underlying truth. Really sit with the words, “tell me why they were so comfortable to say what they were saying to you”. It is really a hard thing to sit with. I think that we have all been told gossip. Some has been quite mean and spiteful. It can be painful even to hear, especially if is about someone we care about. What did that person really tell you what they had heard?
Be careful who you trust, if someone will discuss others with you, they will certainly discuss you with others.
So what does it say about me, that someone might come to me with some “juicy” gossip that they are spreading about someone I know. What signals am I broadcasting that they think I want to join in and be a part of something like that? How am I telling them that I love the drama of someone else’s downfall?
It’s not your job to stop them from talking behind you, but it’s your job not to let it affect you.
People for the most part will not say to you a mean or hurtful thing about someone that you really care about. People for the most part will not gossip with someone that they know won’t put up with it.
A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of about each other.
There are some minor exceptions to this rule, like my father in-law. Years ago we were staying with my in-laws waiting for the closing on our home. I had went up to the kitchen to get something and he was there. He went off on a tear down of his son, about how he was a disappointment , that all of my father in-laws failures could be traced back to his children. He said mean, hurtful cruel things about his son. Finally he ran out of steam, and I just looked at him and said, “so what kind of response are you looking for here? Why are you telling me these things? I love my husband and he isn’t anything like the son that you are describing”, and walked away. He is the exception to the rule because he is so unhappy in his life, and he doesn’t want to take responsibility for how it has turned out, so he goes around trying to tear you down to his level. The only thing you can do with someone who has a toxic personality is limit the exposure to them.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
Years ago I adopted the saying, “not my movie, not my drama”, for when people that I work with start down the road of tearing down someone in their life. My sister says, “not my circus, not my monkeys”. I try very hard not to join in or be around those kinds of conversations. If they won’t let the conversation be turned to something positive, then I excuse myself and walk away.
Someone who hates you normally hates you for one of three reasons. They either see you are a threat. They hate themselves. Or they want to be you.
What we need in our lives is more positive conversations; more love shown in both our words and out actions. More up building and less tearing down. More compassion and less drama. More celebrating of the positive accomplishments of people and less glorification of the tragedy that takes someone out.
I’m not going to tear you down . . . if you’re bad-mouthing me, you’re already down.
– Dr. Steve Maraboli
This even plays out in the feedback we provide around customer service. How fast are we to complain to someone in charge when we are not treated the way we want, but do we have the same rate of speed to ask for someone in charge to praise a persons excellent customer service in taking care of you?
Talking badly about someone else while they aren’t there to defend themselves says more about you than the person you’re talking about.
This quote takes it a little deeper for me that just avoiding the “drama queens”. It says that the quality of the conversations that I am part of is due in some part (large or small) to what I am attracting – knowingly or unknowingly. Gives me a slice of a shadow that I didn’t realize might still be there to work on rooting out.
I know this will seem a bit crazy, but if you want to know something about me, the best person to ask, is me.
When I was in high school, I was invited to a slumber party. I didn’t know the girl well. I was new to the school, and desperate to fit in. There was another new girl at school that was also invited. I am really embarrassed about what happened next. The girls had a game where as each person would fall asleep they would start gossiping about that person. I joined in, even though I didn’t really know any of them. I can remember saying stuff about the other new girl, Denise. Then feeling guilty I pretended to fall asleep so that I didn’t feel like I had to participate. Of course, you know what happened next. They started in our me. As soon as I could leave without anyone noticing I did. I walked several miles home, at 3 AM crying the entire way. I felt horrible for what I did and how they made me feel when they started in on me. The next day I called Denise and apologized for what I had said. Denise and I ended up becoming best friends. It was a life changing moment for me. I never wanted to feel like that again, and I certainly never wanted to hurt someone like that again.
Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Their opinions aren’t your problems. You stay kind, committed to love and free in your authenticity. No matter what they do or say, don’t you doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth. Just keep shining like you always do.
So remember your life purpose. Tell your story, your voice matters, yes it is important. You were born to make an impact. Pursue your dreams. Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive. It will take their breath away. Remember what the grandmothers used to say, “Birds peck at the best fruit”.
Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity . . .
– Gilda Radner
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