Curiosity Is The First Step In Awakening The Soul

“Many of us step foot on to the path to spiritual enlightenment expecting it to lead us onward and upward, hoping to become something better than we are, and ready to gather all of the important things we need along the way.  What a surprise it is when we eventually realize that this path isn’t taking us onward but inward, that we’re not gather things so much as letting them go, and that there was never anything more to aspire to than the truth of what we already are” – Cristen Rodgers

Something will occur in your life when the soul is ready to wake up.  It could be a health scare or near-death experience that you have.  It could be losing a parent, spouse or child.  Loss of identity when you lose your job.  A divorce.  Then come the signs of feeling that your life is empty, devoid of real meaning and purpose.

It is as though you are lost in the woods, and you keep trying to find a trail back to your car.  You keep wandering and you’re starting to panic.  You feel as though something is lost or missing in your life.  Like there is this giant hole that you keep walking around.  You don’t know what it means, except that you have to find something to make your life meaningful.

You start questioning everything you have been taught.  Either you have abandoned God, or you feel he has abandoned you.  There is a sense of injustice.  You feel like a blind person groping about in the darkness in a strange place.  Loved ones may be trying to help you, and you just want everyone to leave you alone.  In fact it seems to be a necessity if you are to figure this out – you must be alone.

“Fortunately, some are born with spiritual immune systems that sooner or later give rejection to the illusory worldview grafted upon them from birth through social conditioning.  They begin sensing that something is amiss, and start looking for answers.  Inner knowledge and anomalous outer experiences show them a side of reality others at oblivious to, and so begins their journey of awakening.  Each step of the journey is made by following the heart instead of following the crowd and by choosing knowledge over the veils of ignorance” – Henri Bergson

It is the being alone that allows you to go within.  Solitude is important when you start on this path to enlightenment.  You need for space for just sitting and going within.  To connect, to see what is crying out to be released as not being part of your authentic self.  To regenerate and renew the pieces of you that were killed off as part of social conditioning.  The parts you buried because you were told it wasn’t safe to be who you really are.  It takes a great deal of courage to go within and choose to be your true self.

When you start down this path, you will think you are missing something.  Think back to the Wizard of Oz and the journey down the yellow brick road.  Toto was a catalyst for Dorothy always running off when Dorothy was needing to wake up and become conscious about something.  The first thing she found on the journey was the ruby slippers.  She had no idea of the power of the slippers and they remained dormant until she was enlightened enough to correctly use them.

The Scarecrow, The Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, they all had what they were looking for.  The journey for them, was to look inside and expand their boundaries and eliminate their limitations.  To realize their full potential.  They weren’t missing anything.  They just needed to awaken to who they already were.  To choose to be better.  To let go of doubts and stories.  You tell yourself similar stories about not being capable of doing something.  The Wizard of Oz cast of characters needed to gather enough experience, to have the confidence that they were more than enough.

As you walk down your own yellow brick road of self-discovery, you will uncover the enlightenment that you’re seeking.  You will discover who you are deep within your heart and soul.  You will grow and transform into who you are destined to become.  Your life experiences have been designed specifically, to help you learn the skills required to fulfill your destiny.

Instead of continuing to conform to others ideas of who you should be, you choose to listen to the guidance of your own soul’s voice.  To travel the unexplored path, to think outside of the box, to be curious and question everything you have been taught.  To discover the impossible journey.

Curiosity is the beginning of awakening.  It is the first step on the path to discover who you are, what your purpose is, what feeds your soul.  When you get curious you start exploring the world around you with different eyes.  You get clarity about what to release and leave behind, as you see what no longer fits who you are becoming.  You open up to new things; new truths, new understandings, new awakenings.  You create the magic of uncovering who you are.

The treasures of gifts you never acknowledged.  You let go of fear after fear.  You start honoring and valuing who you are deep down inside.  Self love and self trust grow and expand with each fear that you release.  You realize that each fear was designed to hold you captive.  You were caged by fear, so that you couldn’t discover your divine self.

“You reach a point where you feel yourself going through an awakening.  You look at what you used to do and who you used to be.  It hurts because you realize you believed in and promoted nonsense.  You grow; you evolve and you stop because you no longer operate at that frequency.  As a result, there’s certain people that you have to walk away from.  As a result, you start to realize just how messed up the world is.  You want to help; you want to heal; you want to make it a better world.  This is how you know you’re awakening a higher level of consciousness . . .  “ – Sylvester McNutt

When you start living from that authentic place deep inside of you, you will be truly seen.  In order to be who you are at the soul level, you have to let go of the stories you have been defined by your whole life.  It is like a puzzle where the pieces were jammed into place because they didn’t quite fit.  When you are living life from the authentic place at the soul level you begin, piece by piece, to rearrange all of those jammed pieces of the puzzle.

You realize who you are at your deepest level.  When that happens, all the pieces will fit together with no gaps.  That is when you will experience a whole new level of love, grace, peace and serenity in your life.

You will still have road blocks on your path.  You will still continue to grow through success and failures.  The difference is that you begin to recover faster.  The difference is that as you embrace what is true, you keep being curious about your life purpose.  You ask better questions that when you started.  The difference is measured by real progress on our life’s journey.

Never Be Defined By Your Past

Fear is like the Wizard of Oz, projecting itself onto the screen, frightening you with how powerful it is.  When in reality, it is a small man behind the curtain. Don’t be afraid to move the curtain and expose the fear. Finding the blessing in the fear, is the opportunity to open your heart and mind to the idea of change and reinvention.

“Sometimes painful things can teach us lessons that we didn’t think we needed to know” – Unknown

Lessons show up in painful situations.  Sometimes you consciously choose to change, because you have taken the time to realize something isn’t working and why. Other times you stumble upon ( notice the word stumble) an opportunity.

Sometimes you trip over something and you catch yourself before the fall, hopping across the floor as you try to regain your balance. Other times you can trip over something that face plants you on the ground, and has you digging rocks off your skin. Either way there are still choices to make.

“One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change”  – Unknown

“No matter who tries to teach you lessons about life, you won’t understand it until you go through it on your own”  – Unknown

The classic opportunities for reinvention tend to come from two things. With a heartbreak such as; losing a job, ending a relationship, the death of a close friend or family member.

The classic “good but scary” opportunities for reinvention are you go away to college, you move to a new town with a new job, you get the really big promotion such as those COO, CEO, CFO types of promotions or the best of all, you decide to be an entrepreneur and your own boss.

In today’s world, your fill in the blank might be related to the changing world from Covid-19.  It might be you are living in a war zone.  It might be that you are reaching out to help with refugees in your town.  It might be a medical problem with yourself or a family member.  It might be trying to figure out what’s next in your career or family life.

“There are things in life we don’t want to happen, but have to accept; things we don’t want to know but have to learn; and people we can’t live without, but have to let go”  – Unknown

In today’s world lots of businesses are rethinking how they do business.  They are trying to see the gaps and create opportunities to bridge them. Bringing an idea to life is hard work. You can expect it to cost you more personally, financially, and maybe even reputational than you thought it would. There are sleepless nights. You become a master of second guessing your choice to make this move.

“Disney taught me to never stop 

believing in my dreams

Harry Potter taught me that love and friendship

dominates all kind of evil

Narnia taught me that we must all grown up 

& leave our childhood behind,

but must never forget it

Percy Jackson taught me that there’s

a hero in every one of us

Glee taught me that no matter how different we are,

there’s always that one thing we have in common”  – Unknown

But to be truly committed you need to “burn the boats”.  This expression is a “point of no return”, where you have destroyed all other choices, and you are left with no options but the intention you started with.  It comes from a famous incident when a Spanish Explorer landing in Mexico ordered their ships to be burned.  They either would conquer the country or be killed, because they had no way to return home.

So take away plan b, eliminate the lifeline.  Go all out for what you are passionate about. Follow your bliss. Look at what is working and not working. What you love to do and hate to do. The key is to get immersed in what you are passionate about and hire help for the rest.

“Each day I am thankful for nights that turned into mornings, friends that turned into family, dreams that turned into reality, and likes that turned into loves”  – Unknown

• Surround yourself with people who love to learn, share and build.
• Join or create a mastermind group with people who are putting their ideas into action.
• Seek out those in your community who solve problems and ask for suggestions.
• Create that special group of people who will be your cheerleaders, helping you to remain positive and take the risks that need to be taken, instead of holding yourself back.
  

And remember the three most important words in your fear busting vocabulary: Improvise, Adapt, Overcome.

It All Begins With A Dream, A Story. Stay True To The Dreamers Story.

“Promise to stay wild with me.  We’ll seek and return and stay and find beauty and the extraordinary in all the spaces we can claim.  We’ll know how to live.  How to breathe magic into the mundane”  – Victoria Erickson

I think that turning your dreams into realities is all about staying wild.  To stay adventurous and be curious.  To breathe magic into the mundane.  To touch the stars, and fly with dragonflies.  It is about dancing with fairies and talking to the moon.  It is about following Alice into the mirror or down the rabbit hole.  It is about returning to Oz for more adventures.  The imagination is critical to planting the seeds of your future.  Don’t listen to those who purvey logic and say it can’t be done.  Listen the to whisper of your heart as it leads you to create what others can’t even imagine.  Whimsy is the “new black”.

“Refuse to be that person that, like so many others who is still driving down the same road years down the line, mournfully longing to go back in time to be given just one more chance to take the road they should have taken because they ignored all possible extraordinary signs.  It’ll never get easier to make the leap and this is your chance, so make the change.  Take the road now”  – Victoria Erickson

The things that you do and don’t do shape who you are.  They put detail into your mind, body, heart, and soul.  The stretchmark’s of childbirth.  The laughter wrinkles.  The broken hearts and mended souls.  You have learned how to be brave, how to smile through the tears.  You promise yourself and your loved ones that whatever tragedy is happening in your life this moment – everything will still be okay.

You have learned how to shift your sails through the tides of change.  How to ride the wild waves and make it back to shore.  How to stand in the wind and just keep swimming.  How to leap instead of crawl.  How to rise out of the ocean depths and fly across the water.  To ride the storm like a wild horse and how to lead it back into calm waters.  You are not a settler.  You didn’t settle to drive down the straight and narrow roads, that ones that don’t lead to adventures.   You chose the road to high adventures.

“I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk.  About love, about life, about anything, about everything.  To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl.  Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations.  To speak without regret of fear of consequence.  Talk for hours and about what’s really important in life”  – Unknown

I love my tribe of special girlfriends.  We sit around the fire and drink wine and talk.  We talk about our lives and solve not only all of our problems.  We move on to solving all of the worlds problems.  My mom would always ask me what we talked about, and I would say that we just created a better world for all of us.

There is a movie with Sam Waterston, John Heard and Liv Ullmann called “Mindwalk” – it is about a lawyer, a politician and a scientist who meet up at Mont St. Michel.  They get caught up is the magic of having one of those kinds of conversations.  They explore everything as they walk around the castle.  I loved the film because you see how exhilarating a conversation can be when you aren’t arguing with each other but instead opening up each others minds to explore new ideas and concepts.

“The idea is to live your life in a way that makes you feel lit up.  Alive.  Fully fledged.  Beautiful.  Know and find what nourishes you inside out, bones to skin and then build your world from that alone.  All else is not part of your revolution.  Or your ultimate evolution”  – Victoria Erickson

Our dreams are meant to be moments of connection.  Connecting ideas, concepts and changing the reality of your life.  They are expansive.  They flash across time and space, to a point in the future and then ricochet back to you with what the next step is to make them a reality.  The dreams are fluid and watery as they flow and adapt to new information.  They are always moving forward, never retracting.  They are malleable, luminous, free like the clouds in the sky to form new patterns and shapes.  Follow your passion. Listen to your heart.  Don’t be afraid of changing and adapting.

“There’s a turning point.  It arrives when we find ourselves quietly hovering inside the realization that the choice is between two pains:  the pain of the jump or the pain of regret”  – Victoria Erickson

Leaping is such a wonderful visual word.  Like you have a “pride of lions”, the word for leopards as a group is a “leap of leopards”.  When a leopard kills an antelope it has to take his kill high up into the trees. If he doesn’t other animals will take his kill away from him.  The adult male leopard weighs 80-198 lbs, and the female 63-132 lbs.  An antelope outweighs the leopard with the largest weighing more than 1,000 lbs.  So if the leopard doesn’t balance his leap perfectly, it risks being crushed by its own kill.  If they don’t make the leap high into the tree branches, it risks losing its dinner and starvation.  Every time I see the word leap, I think of the leopard.

“Remember that you are more than skin and bones.  You are one thousand stories of before.  One thousand stories of potential.  One thousand stories you’ve yet to see and know and feel and breathe.  There’s more to come.  And it’s something beautiful”   -Victoria Erickson

If you don’t leap, you won’t be able to continue bringing your dreams into reality.  If you do leap, you will be risking failure.  Experience has shown that you will need to leap again.  To rise up and continue your journey. Since there will be pain of failure, pain of regret, or pain of the leap itself, tip yourself over the edge.  Flip your fears into courage.  There are thousands of stories yet to be lived and told over the campfire.  There is so much more potential to be revealed.  You are still unraveling the parts of you that don’t belong and uncovering the true you that you buried so long ago.  So when given the chance to leap, take it.  Live a new story.  Share that story with others.  I can’t wait to hear your stories.  To hear your dreams of realities not yet created, as well as all of the transformations you already have unveiled.

“There will be certain people and places that’ll open your aliveness, flooding you with the same awe and sweet ache as a thousand daydreams revealed.  Hold these connections close, for one day you’ll know a clearer view of what they truly were from the beginning – still moments of perfection in an ever spinning world”  – Victoria Erickson

So as you sail about in the sky, reaching for the castle of your dreams, treasure the still moments of perfection that happen along the road.  Make sure you take time each day to dip your toes into the pools of imperfections.  Those imperfections that you not only live with, but have come to appreciate as part of your souls journey.

See the daydreams unveil themselves.  Get a clear focused view of your current destination.  See the moment of clarity in your life purpose(s).  Take out your compass and adjust your course as needed.  Stay in the wild spaces.  Keep leaping.  Remember to live your life not in the past, or in the future, but in this moment.  Feel the love, the joy, the happiness.  Most of all, live with open heartedness.  See the beauty of your life in its thousands of forms.

Don’t Lose Yourself In The Hatred Of Others

Stay away from people who gossip and spread rumors.  They are choosing the path of emotional bullying and negativity.

  –  Dr Steve Maraboli

This is a really profound quote. It really struck a chord in my heart because I so resonated with the underlying truth. Really sit with the words, “tell me why they were so comfortable to say what they were saying to you”. It is really a hard thing to sit with.  I think that we have all been told gossip.  Some has been quite mean and spiteful.  It can be painful even to hear, especially if is about someone we care about.  What did that person really tell you what they had heard?  

Be careful who you trust, if someone will discuss others with you, they will certainly discuss you with others.

  – Unknown

So what does it say about me, that someone might come to me with some “juicy” gossip that they are spreading about someone I know. What signals am I broadcasting that they think I want to join in and be a part of something like that? How am I telling them that I love the drama of someone else’s downfall?

It’s not your job to stop them from talking behind you, but it’s your job not to let it affect you.

  – Unknown

People for the most part will not say to you a mean or hurtful thing about someone that you really care about. People for the most part will not gossip with someone that they know won’t put up with it.

A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of about each other.

  – Unknown

There are some minor exceptions to this rule, like my father in-law. Years ago we were staying with my in-laws waiting for the closing on our home. I had went up to the kitchen to get something and he was there. He went off on a tear down of his son, about how he was a disappointment , that all of my father in-laws failures could be traced back to his children. He said mean, hurtful cruel things about his son. Finally he ran out of steam, and I just looked at him and said, “so what kind of response are you looking for here? Why are you telling me these things? I love my husband and he isn’t anything like the son that you are describing”, and walked away. He is the exception to the rule because he is so unhappy in his life, and he doesn’t want to take responsibility for how it has turned out, so he goes around trying to tear you down to his level. The only thing you can do with someone who has a toxic personality is limit the exposure to them.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

  – Unknown

Years ago I adopted the saying, “not my movie, not my drama”, for when people that I work with start down the road of tearing down someone in their life. My sister says, “not my circus, not my monkeys”. I try very hard not to join in or be around those kinds of conversations. If they won’t let the conversation be turned to something positive, then I excuse myself and walk away.

Someone who hates you normally hates you for one of three reasons.  They either see you are a threat.  They hate themselves.  Or they want to be you.

  – Unknown

What we need in our lives is more positive conversations; more love shown in both our words and out actions. More up building and less tearing down. More compassion and less drama. More celebrating of the positive accomplishments of people and less glorification of the tragedy that takes someone out.

I’m not going to tear you down . . .  if you’re bad-mouthing me, you’re already down.

  – Dr. Steve Maraboli

This even plays out in the feedback we provide around customer service. How fast are we to complain to someone in charge when we are not treated the way we want, but do we have the same rate of speed to ask for someone in charge to praise a persons excellent customer service in taking care of you?

Talking badly about someone else while they aren’t there to defend themselves says more about you than the person you’re talking about.

  – Unknown

This quote takes it a little deeper for me that just avoiding the “drama queens”. It says that the quality of the conversations that I am part of is due in some part (large or small) to what I am attracting – knowingly or unknowingly. Gives me a slice of a shadow that I didn’t realize might still be there to work on rooting out.

I know this will seem a bit crazy, but if you want to know something about me, the best person to ask, is me.

  – Unknown

When I was in high school, I was invited to a slumber party.  I didn’t know the girl well.  I was new to the school, and desperate to fit in.  There was another new girl at school that was also invited.  I am really embarrassed about what happened next.  The girls had a game where as each person would fall asleep they would start gossiping about that person.  I joined in, even though I didn’t really know any of them.  I can remember saying stuff about the other new girl, Denise.  Then feeling guilty I pretended to fall asleep so that I didn’t feel like I had to participate.  Of course, you know what happened next.  They started in our me.  As soon as I could leave without anyone noticing I did.  I walked several miles home, at 3 AM crying the entire way.  I felt horrible for what I did and how they made me feel when they started in on me.  The next day I called Denise and apologized for what I had said.  Denise and I ended up becoming best friends.  It was a life changing moment for me.  I never wanted to feel like that again, and I certainly never wanted to hurt someone like that again.

Let them judge you.  Let them misunderstand you.  Their opinions aren’t your problems.  You stay kind, committed to love and free in your authenticity.  No matter what they do or say, don’t you doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth.  Just keep shining like you always do.

  – Unknown

So remember your life purpose.  Tell your story, your voice matters, yes it is important.  You were born to make an impact.  Pursue your dreams.  Negative people need drama like oxygen.  Stay positive.  It will take their breath away.  Remember what the grandmothers used to say, “Birds peck at the best fruit”.

Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.  Delicious ambiguity . . .

  – Gilda Radner

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New Day, New Chapter

“Not everything has a happy ending, but that’s life.  Just pick up the pieces and move on to the next chapter”  – Unknown

Something tragic happened here.  A bridge was destroyed or a chasm opened up where there used to be solid ground.  Seems to be a great graphic for what the world looks like at the moment.

All kinds of stories and possibilities.  Sounds like some relationships doesn’t it? You meet someone, get to know them.  Start loving and trusting them.  Years may go by with you both the best of friends.  Maybe it is even a sibling or a parent.  Something breaks down in the relationship and everything ends.  It could be gradual or suddenly without warning.  The father cuts off the child because the child isn’t doing what the father wants.  The brother and sister get into an ugly fight, saying unspeakable things as only those who truly know us can.  Years go by without them speaking to each other.  Your best friend cheated with your spouse.

“The moral of this story is that no matter how much we try, no matter how much we want it . . .  some stories just don’t have a happy ending”  – Jodi Picoult

Or this could be the job that you thought you were indispensable at.  You worked long hours – days, nights and weekends spent away from your family.  You poured your heart and soul and even your identity into the job and they fired you or laid you off, or the company shut its doors.  No warning, no idea it was going to happen.  You are devastated.  You feel you are a failure.  You feel like you were used up and then thrown out with the trash.

“There are moments which mark your life.  Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts – before this, and after this”  – Fallen

Or maybe something terrible happens.  Like my sister, your only child is murdered.  The loss of the child ends your marriage and you find yourself lost and alone.  Or maybe it is tragic news for your personal health.  So many possibilities of tragic things that can happen in your life, that leaves you lost, alone, afraid and thinking that your life is over.

“Anyone who tells you to get over it and stop living in the past clearly doesn’t understand the concept of time.  If you’re feeling it now – it’s the present”  – Ranata Suzuki

The thing that all these stories have in common, is that you need to grieve what the loss to you is.  You need to go through the stages of grief for the loss.  You need to work through and let go of the guilt, anger, lost love, loss or betrayal.  It seems that when these things come into your life you get into a fighting mode.  You fight to hold on to what is falling off the edge of the tracks.  Then you fight to let it go before it drags you down into the chasm.

“Grief never ends . . .   But it changes.  It’s a passage, not a place to stay.  Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith . . . It is the price of love” – Unknown

There always comes the day when you feel like you’re actually going to start to live again.  It starts gradually.  You find yourself smiling or laughing.  It might shock you at first.  But gradually the grief lessens, and the joys start coming back into your life.   You become less scared.   You are less terrified that you are so broken that you won’t be whole again.

You start grabbing onto scraps of courage.  You realize that there is a sacredness to tears.  They cleanse your soul.  They speak not only of the grief you are going through, but also of the love you had.  You know that you are turning a corner, when you can hold the grief in one hand and the love in the other.  You realize that you don’t have to pick one.  You realize that when you put your hands together, they are just opposite sides of the same coin.

“The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on.  When you’re faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking” – James Patterson

You realize that you are stumbling through a “dark night of the soul”.  It’s like a natural disaster has hit you.  It tore everything you have built off the foundations.  The wood, the windows, the roof, is in pieces, and they are lying around like someone smashed a popsicle fort.  Like Humpty Dumpty, you feel like you can’t be put back together again.  You realize when the pity party has broken up and all of the revelers have left you alone, is that this is also something wonderful.

Instead of being unhappy with your floor plan; instead of just repainting the same walls and ceilings trying to dress up something you were already unhappy with – you get to rebuild from the foundation up.  You get to build from rock bottom a new solid foundation with the floor plan of your dreams and the best paint colors you can dream up.  You get a “do over” and get to rebuild your life.  You decide, you choose to be the Queen of your own specially designed life.

“One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life.  And with that, she realized the only control she had was how she chose to handle them.  so, she made the decision to survive using courage, humor, and grace.  She was the Queen of her own life and the choice was hers”  – Kathy Kennet

 A new pattern of thoughts

You are using the brain in your head, heart, and root chakra – You listen to you soul’s voice of intuition and seek fulfillment of your life purpose.  You realize that you don’t have to have it all figured out, in order to move forward towards your dreams – just the next step.

A new way of using the emotional vibrational scale 

Stay in positive emotions.  When the negative emotions come up, like a wave riding into the shore, you allow them to dissipate into the sand and be released.  You don’t hold on to them, rather like the foam left behind as the wave withdraws, the negative emotions simply fade away.

A new spiritual connection to the world 

You face yourself and fully accept who you are, a perfectly imperfect person.  A divine child of God.  With a divine commission to fulfill.

A new belief system 

It’s ok to be daring and different, not afraid to live out loud who you really are.  You are a person of integrity towards your life purpose and with imaginative vision you seek to walk your own path in love, trust, and grace.

“Your life will consist of a series of times when you must reinvent yourself.  We desperately cling to the idea that things should stay the same, but life and growth are about change.  Don’t mistake the end of a chapter for the end of the story.  Lean into the plot changes, and follow your character arc.  If you are in a dark part of your tale, know that this night will not last forever, but you must be brave enough to see it through.  This is not the end, oh no my friend.  Take courage, better things await you” – John Mark Green

What Shape Waits In The Seed Of You?

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance.  This is the Law of Nature – Dr. Steve Maraboli

I’ve always thought that if I was a flower, I would want to be a dandelion.  I love how their seed heads seem to sparkle.  When my bright yellow flower matured into tiny seeds, I wanted a little girl to pick me and make wishes.  Then blow me all over the meadow, so that I could spread and grow into the whole meadow.  A whole meadow of new tiny wishes to be made.

Dandelions are considered to be weeds by many.  But they are edible plants, and dandelion tea is very good for the liver, although I guess that dandelion wine might be a better drink – lol.  It is a useful plant, not pretentious or hard to grow like some flowers.  It is found almost everywhere. It is even a social flower because their deep taproots bring up nutrients not only for themselves, but any nearby plants too.  If you plant them around your trees, they release a gas that actually helps fruit to ripen.

What I need is the dandelion in the spring.  The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction.  The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses.  That it can be good again – Suzanne Collins

When the seeds disperse, they parachute outwards, like they are enjoying even the end of their life to the maximum, with no reservations.  They have faith that their landing will continue their species.  This faith is borne out by the fact that they have been around since prehistoric times and are not a cultivated plant in most places.

Words are like seeds.  They have creative power.  What seeds are you planting?

• What choices are you making today, that will be harvested tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?
• Do you choose to make changes, so that you can excel?
• Do you choose to listen to your inner mean mind voice or the soft whisper of your soul?
• Do you choose to be useful, not using and manipulating others?
• Do you choose to live your life with courage, standing up for yourself and others?

Words grow larger when they are examined.  The words are like the opening of a flower, from the bud to the blossom.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom – Anais Nin

Why are you afraid of opening from a bud to a bloom?  I think part of the reason is that you are afraid of being judged as not worthy.  Not a very pretty blossom.  Poor color.  Bent petals.  Not attracting the right kinds of bees, birds or insects to help pollinate others.  No scent, or even worse, you stink.

You might get attacked by Aphids and look all spotty.  A dog or cat might decide you are their new litter box.

Some child running by could step on you and smash you into paste.  Then you wouldn’t even have a chance to go to seed.  Your purpose would have all been for nothing.  You should have just remained in the dark earth and not even tried to shoot towards the sun.

Then there is the whole going to seed part.  It is frightening.  You must completely fall apart.  All of the beautiful petals of your youth fall to the ground.  Your leaves turn brown and brittle and fall off.  The wind takes your precious seeds and just blows them away.  You don’t even get a say where they land.  Some landings will be on hard ground and the birds will eat you up.  But some will land in moist soil and falling into darkness they will start the germination process all over again.  The circle of life begins anew.

The heart is like a garden.  It can grow compassion, or fear, resentment or love.  What seeds will you plant there? – Jack Kornfield

When you have a good healthy discussion, the words used are like a seasoning.  They bring flavor to the ideas.  They change the texture of the meanings when they are used in new and different ways.  They expand your heart and mind.  They fall into the cracks and grow something new and unforeseen.

Words can be hot and spicy, or cool and watery.  Mellow words sooth and soften us.  They have the saying, “those are fighting words”.  Our words can cause you to run the entire string of the emotional scale.

• What kind of words do you use?
• Are they growing compassion or hatred?
• Spreading fear or love?
• Dispersing anger or resentment
• Scattering conciliation?

Life brings challenges to all of us.  Many times, the worst thing that can happen, becomes the best thing that could have happened to you.  It sometimes takes you cracking, falling apart in total destruction for you to find the truth of who you really are.  To set you on the path that you are supposed to be on.

Today someone fell in love, and someone lost the love of their life.

Today someone lived through an accident that should have killed them, and someone else didn’t wake up this morning because they died in their sleep.

Today someone made their parents proud and today someone crushed their parents’ hearts.

Today someone was healed from cancer, and someone died from cancer.

Today could be the best day of your life or the worst day of your life.

You have seen my descent.  Now watch my rising – Rumi

At some point the destruction hits you or misses you.  But take heart, because it isn’t really destruction.

When life buries you, remember that you are seeds.  You will rise back up out of the darkness.  You will shine again.  Like the ocean tide, you rise, and you fall, and you will rise again.

Where you are headed is much more important that what you have left behind you.  You keep growing, keep learning, and you try new things.

You are human, not perfect, but perfectly imperfect.  Be thankful to be alive and still moving to fulfill your dreams and your destiny.  Embrace life with grace and courage.  See wishes floating on the breeze, parachuting into a new adventure!

Find Your Center And You Can Never Be Lost Again

“You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how you’ll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it.  You just use the future to escape the present”  – Unknown

Do you know someone who thinks these immense detailed daydreams?  They can go on for hours telling you how when they win the Lotto they are going to do all of these wonderful things with their life.  It is always “someday” thinking.  Some fantasy of how someone or something will happen in their life, and everything will finally be the way they want it.  I have had this kind of thinking.  Dissatisfied with what life is, you escape into a fantasy of what you want it to be.  Which is fine if it is the beginning of making a change in your life.  But too many times, you just go round and round the labyrinth twisting and turning, but never finding the end.  You feel like you are doing something, but in reality you are lost and going nowhere.

“The point of the maze is to find its center.  The point of a labyrinth is to find your center” – Unknown

When you walk the path of the labyrinth, it is like stepping outside of time.  You leave everything behind you as you take the first step across the threshold.  With each step you can feel more and more stories, emotions, entanglements dropping off your shoulders.  The stresses of trying to work fulltime with a demanding career.  The stresses of personal family crisis’s that wobble as you try to balance them.  They tip this way and that, and keep you doing a running dance step striving for balance.  Work project, home projects, a spouse and children’s needs, making your own personal transformations.  Everything just drops off the shoulders with each new step.

“You are looking for the answers to the questions of life.  Lots of reflecting about what has been and gone.  Looking at the here and the now.  Wondering what is ahead of you.  You are being guided by your own guides.  They will light up your way, and show you the path ahead” – Unknown

Finally you enter the center and sit in contemplation.  You convene with your soul.  You realize that most of these stresses are of your own creation.  You are the one who makes the rules, who sets the boundaries, who creates the vortex they whirl around.  So you can set them down.  You can let them play themselves out.  You don’t have to control them, structure them or mold them.

When you walk back out of the labyrinth, you can pick back up the things you dropped.  What has changed though, is that they are no longer the storm rocking your world.  The sunlight has entered into each and every one, and instead of thunder and lightening, you hear birdsong and crickets.  You feel the warm breeze lightly touching your skin.  You am grounded and centered.  You are recharged and ready to face reality once more.

“The intricacies of life are but common to all; it is how we untangle these twists that paints our individuality in the canvas of destiny.  We can choose to be lost in the labyrinth of our emotions or use these trials to harness our inner strength, but one thing remains constant in our lives, we have the sun in our hands”  – Dodinsky

One of my favorite scenes in the Star Wars saga, is when Luke is about to enter the cave.  He asks Yoda what he will find inside the cave.  Yoda replies, whatever you take in with you.  This is true for all of us.  The labyrinth may have monsters wandering the path.  They would be your own personal monsters that you took with you.  You have fed and watered them until they grew so large, you could no longer control them.  The labyrinth is filled with your desires, memories, fears, and passions.  In them you can find and lose yourself over and over again.  As the proverb says, “The only way out is through”.  Through dangers and hardships unnumbered, the fairy tales tell you how to slay the monsters.  You must figure out how to slay them, or they will destroy you.

“In the labyrinth, one does not lose oneself; in a labyrinth, one finds oneself.  In a labyrinth, one does not encounter the Minotaur; In a labyrinth, one encounters oneself”  – Unknown

Your will is strong.  The only power the monsters have is what you have granted to them.  You can revoke it any time.  Fears are like snowflakes in a snowstorm.  Each snow flake is so small.  But when they are joined by more and more of them, they can soon cover the world with a thick blanket of snow.  They can take visibility to zero in no time at all.  But the cool thing about snowflakes is that it just takes a little heat and they melt away like they never existed.  Every single monster in our labyrinth is like a snowflake.  A little heat and they will all melt into nothing, even the puddle of water will disappear.

“Go on with what your heart tells you, or you will lose all”  – Percy Jackson, The Lightning Thief

There is always the moment when the light shines down.  When the revelation strikes you and you see that all of the journey’s misfortunates have brought you and your dream to this very moment.  The moment of self revelation in which you can choose to follow the dream across the finish line, or to step backwards into the labyrinth and continue to be lost.  The moment of judging and forgiving yourself.  The moment of self love or self hate.

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going.  What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope”  – Thomas Merton

When all you talk about is finding your way out of the labyrinth, but you don’t take the steps to leave it, then it is time to ask yourself:  “What I am afraid I will leave behind me?”  “Why am I afraid to love myself?”  “Why am I afraid to go?”  “What am I afraid to admit to myself?”  The things both done and left undone haunt you.  They must be faced.  The truth hurts, because it matters.  When the pain of staying, finally exceeds the pain of going, you will free yourself.  But if you explore the questions, digging beneath them with curiosity, you can clean up your space and leave without the pain of departure.

” A labyrinth is a symbolic journey . . .  but it is a map we can really walk on, blurring the difference between the map and the world” – Rebecca Solnit

Trust your heart and soul to lead you in the right direction.  Even when you think that left is right, or up is down, trust the journey.  The side roads don’t really lead away from the destination, they provide needed instruction for the journey.  Just remember to use curiosity liberally.  To tone down the emotions, which can get easily out of control.  Have fun.  Explore, adventure, dive deep, climb high.  And don’t forget the questions – they are like umbrellas.  They protect us from the torrential rain, from the beating sun, and from seagull poop – and that is the most important thing ever.   Trust me.

“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again”  – Joseph Campbell

Remember To Fall Asleep With A Dream And To Wake Up With A Purpose

Don’t follow your dreams  . . .  chase them!

  – Kunal Patel

Dreams come preloaded with a guidance system. They know the fastest way to bring themselves into reality.  Give yourself permission to listen to them, to step into who you are meant to be.  As little girls we are taught to play small.  Not to be too much of anything, because it is prideful to draw attention to ourselves.  Nick names such as “Miss Priss”, “Smarty pants” are designed to make us feel even smaller – like who does she think she is?  Little girls who aspire to do jobs in the Stem fields have to fight and work harder, just because “girls are not good at those things”.

Little girls with dreams become women with vision.

  – Unknown

Dreams also come with more than one path. I say this, because the fastest way is “as the crow flies” which means it is usually the harder path to take. Most of us would prefer the shortcut. The Staples “easy button”.  But the “easy” button doesn’t expand our comfort zone.  It doesn’t teach us new things about ourselves.  We don’t get to explore the depths of who we are and what we are capable of.  It isn’t the path to adventure.  The “easy” button is not the way to mastery or to accomplishing any great work.  It is about settling and living life in a rut, just a hamster in a wheel, running fast and going nowhere.  The harder path is over mountains, down steep ravines.  You  have to ford rivers at flood stage.  You trudge through hot dry deserts and lose your bearings in muggy swamps covered with mosquito bites.  The fastest way tests your mind, body and soul.  It builds you up, strengthening muscles in places you didn’t even know you had muscles.  At the end of the day, you may be exhausted, but it is a happy exhausted.  You have proven to yourself what you are truly capable of being and doing.

Follow your dreams even if it means standing alone.  Be different but stay yourself.

  – Unknown

It might be that we are not confident of your ability to take that harder path. I am a huge “Lord of the Rings” fan. When Frodo and Samwise go forward on the journey with just the two of them, they are definitely taking that hard path. I always thought that if the Eagles could rescue them at the end when the lava was coming to kill them, why couldn’t they have dropped them off at the mouth of the cave?  What Frodo and Samwise learned was there was a big difference in setting out on the journey to accomplish your dreams, and actually traveling and experiencing the journey itself.  It stretched them beyond every boundary.  Responsibility, wisdom, self knowledge, self reflection, fears, courage – every word was dismantled, tested in forges of fire, and rebuilt as they took on new meanings.

Everyone has talent.  What’s rare is the courage to follow it to the dark places where it leads.

  – Erica Jong

Clarity of Purpose Is A Magical Gift

“A lack of clarity could put the brakes on any journey to success”  – Steve Maraboli

Okay, I have to confess that this happens to me a lot. I walk into a room to do something specific – maybe I go into the kitchen to grab the dirty dish towels to put in my load of laundry. Then something catches my attention and I think, “Oh, I have to water this plant”. Minutes go by. I have forgotten all about the towels and laundry. I wander into another room with the goal to water another plant, and I get distracted by something else. At the end of the day, I have all of these half finished ideas and projects. Does this happen to anyone else?

Clarity can be hard to come by in today’s busy world. The speed of change is getting faster and faster. How do you slow down to see what is important?

“When you have clarity of intention, the universe conspires with you to make it happen”  – Fabienne Fredrickson

Let your imagination wander to what situation in life would be fun, yet also produce instantaneous clarity? The genie with the proverbial three wishes. There he is waiting for you to say what you want. Can you just feel your mind sorting through every wish list that you have ever created? What would be the three most important things you would wish for? With the genie sitting there waiting for the wishes, nothing would distract you.

“Lets go invent tomorrow instead of worrying about what happened yesterday”  – Steve Jobs

Clarity of purpose is a mighty tool.  The clearer you are about “exactly” what you want, the more your brain will work on how to attract it into your life. The problem is that most of us have “squirrel thinking”. You let the distractions take you out of what you came into the room to do.

“Your dreams are a poetic reflection of your soul’s wishes.  Make this the day you take the first step in the beautiful journey of bringing your dreams to life” – Steve Maraboli

My dog had a squirrel as her nemesis. That squirrel could side line her from anything she was doing. She would be so intent on something in the yard, and the squirrel would climb on the telephone pole and immediately distract her. Her food, her treat, her toy, everything was forgotten for the chance that the squirrel would magically fall down the pole into her waiting paws or jaws as the case may be.

“Breathe.  The universe is taking care of everything else”  – Unknown

What are your squirrels? Mine are exciting new ideas or possibilities. I will be working on a project and a new idea will pop into my mind. Now I am off to research what I can do with it. I am down the rabbit hole and exploring a new universe.

Meanwhile the project I was on is forgotten, half finished and gathering dust bunnies. These half finished projects that you have take up mental space until they are completed.  Have you ever noticed for example when you get one of them finished how uplifted you feel?  This is because the “weight” of the project has been lifted off of your mind.  Pay attention the next time you complete something that your mind or your partner has been nagging at you to get done.  You will feel it.  What can you do to corral your brain, if you don’t have the magic lamp and genie with three wishes captivating your attention?

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper”  – W.B. Yeats

I first heard of this idea at a seminar – it’s called “a parking lot”. Have a folder in which you capture the gist of the idea down on paper and then you put it in the folder, and park it. This way you don’t lose the idea, but are able to go back and keep your focus on what you were doing. That way you don’t get sidetracked from what you are doing.  By capturing it, you can release it for later.  Then on a regular basis you go through the folder. You can prioritize what needs to remain in the parking lot, and what should go on the “to do” list.

Years ago I went to see Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s Estate.  They had a man made pond at the back of the house.  The property runs alongside Potomac River.  One of the things they did for food was fish the river.  As we know, fish bite when they want to, not at your convenience.  So they would bring the fish still alive from the river and put them in the pond.  Then when they wanted fish for dinner, they just had to scoop out what the cook wanted.  That is what your mental parking lot is like.  You park the ideas your mind generates there, and when you are ready for them you can grab them and explore where they go.

“If you’re feeling good, then you’re creating a future that’s on track with your desires.  If you’re feeling bad, you’re creating a future that’s off track with your desires.  As you go about your day, the law of attraction is working in every second.  Everything we think and feel is creating our future.  If you’re worried or in fear, then you’re bringing more of that into your life throughout the day” – Rhonda Byrne

I have put several paper tablets in various rooms of the house. I will go into the room to do a specific thing, and then an idea will pop into my head. I used to think that I had to do that thing now, or I would forget to do it later. Now I can park the idea on the paper tablet, and do the thing I actually came into the room to do. If I am at work I use the note pad on my phone to jot down the idea. It emails the list to me automatically at home, and I can print it or write it down in the folder.

“Magic is believing in yourself.  If you can do that you can make anything happen”  – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If the “squirrel” is a request from someone to attend an event, collaborate on a new project with them etc…, then I try to filter the request through a “time priority sieve” or funnel. What else have I got on my plate that I am already committed to? How much “free time” do I have to commit to this new request? Is this request going to contribute in some way to my current years goals, or will it take needed time away from them? I find that sometimes even though I would love to commit to their request, I have to say “no thank you”. Otherwise the important things I really need to do get pushed aside and my goals don’t get accomplished.

“Each day has a magical moment that helps us to change and sends us out to make our dreams come true”  – Paulo Coelho

Now if the Genie would just pop up and grant me three wishes – or maybe our modern day Genie, “The Lotto” would finally give me some winning numbers.

Expectations Change The Way You Deal With Reality

I think that the cat’s expression says it all.

Expectations always hurt.  Life is short . . .  So love your life . . .  Be Happy . . .  And keep smiling  . . . That’s Life – Unknown

You work really hard for something and when you get it, it doesn’t meet your expectations and you are disappointed.

You plan a wonderful vacation and because you are not sharing the plans in detail with everyone in the family, someone is planning long days doing nothing but reading or napping; while the other one has nonstop activities planned – one or both of you is going to be disappointed, resentful, and probably ruin the vacation.

There is this fine line between people disappointing you, and you expecting too much from them.

I remember when I finally got the big promotion. I had worked so hard for so long to get to this Senior Vice President position. I didn’t go to college, and so I didn’t have a degree like everyone else. Every job description says they require one. So to finally get this promotion was a big thing for me. My goal was achieved and all the hard work was worth it. Then my boss says, “you know titles aren’t really important”. I could hear the balloon of my enthusiasm pop and blow across the room. I think I was more deflated than the balloon as I left his office.

When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be – Mandy Hale

The thing about expectations is that they generally build up to something that isn’t possible to maintain or isn’t realistic in the first place. When you release the expectations, you are free to enjoy what you already have.

I always think of body weight/size being one of those things that you sometimes put unrealistic expectations around.

Have you ever looked at photos of when you were younger? You see yourself with a fantastic body and remember how you were always going on a diet to try and get skinnier – how you were never happy with how you looked.

What do you see when you look at that photo now? Do you realize you were already a healthy weight, that nothing was wrong with you – your butt wasn’t too fat, your chest wasn’t too flat, your thighs were not really thunder thighs?

Learning to love yourself and others just as you are at this moment is a huge lesson.  Learning to not gossip or talk hurtful about yourself and others is another powerful thing to practice.

God, help me find the middle ground between unrealistic expectations and no expectations at all – Melody Beattie

Expectations make you want something other than what you have.  What you have is already a great thing. You fail to enjoy the here and now, when you are always looking for something better, feeling like something that is missing.

When you let that balloon of expectation go and watch the air release as it buzzes and flaps across the room, you realize how good life already is. It leaves you room to be pleasantly surprised when the great things do happen in your life.

When you are attached to outcomes by means of expectations, it is sort of like the band aid stuck to a hairy place on the skin.  At some point it is going to have to be ripped off, and it is going to take some hair and skin with it.  It is going to hurt.

If we can learn to let go of expectations and simply accept what is, we will be much happier.

Hope, but never expect.

This doesn’t mean to me that you don’t do your best to accomplish your dreams and goals.

I believe in doing my best. I also believe that I shouldn’t beat myself up when my best isn’t getting it done. I believe that when that happens, I just need to regroup and figure out an outside the box idea.

Never forget that you are one of a kind.  Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.  And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world.  In fact, it is always because of one person that all changes that matter in the world come about.  So be that one person  – Buckminster Fuller

I also believe that my expectations should be about me, not other people. I believe in what others are capable of being, I see the greatness in them. I also know that not everyone is interested in being everything they are capable of being, or they are refusing to see their greatness.

I let that be. When they are ready, I will hold up the mirror of my belief in them, until then I will wait.

So have gratitude and appreciation for where you are. Have dreams and goals to meet that raise you up. Give the best you have. Be happy with where you are. Go out and do something remarkable!

I love when people that have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire – Stephanie Sparkles

Don’t Let Insecurities Run Your Life. Fight For Your Dreams.

“How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable” – Seth Godin – Author and Speaker

Your dreams are calling you. Are you answering them?  Are you putting them through to voice mail because you don’t recognize the number?  If you recognize the number, are you putting it through to voice mail because you don’t want to have that inner conversation with yourself?

You know that one where you argue with yourself about what you are doing versus what you are telling everyone you want to do.

• What causes you to procrastinate, to put things on hold?
• How many of your dreams do you currently have in voice mail waiting for you to pick up the phone and return the call?
• Is your voice mail now full and you are totally missing any new calls?

I know that if someone compliments me, the first thought in my mind is discounting what they said.  When I was growing up my sister closest in age to me was always the pretty one, the beautiful one. She is 18 months younger, and her body matured faster than mine. She is several inches taller than my 5’3″. I was the smart one. This comparison ran through our childhood. To this day she carries that role of not being smart, even though it isn’t true.  I carry the role of not being pretty and discount anyone who says that it isn’t true.

Isn’t it sad how you prove that those family comparisons are true, simply out of habit?  You were told all of your life that this “story” created when you were tiny child is who you are and so you go around making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

“What I know for sure is this:  You are built not to shrink down to less, but to blossom into more.  To be more splendid.  To be more extraordinary” – Oprah

There are days when I get a lot of Facebook friend requests on my personal FB page.  I am part of several large groups and whenever they have an influx of new people on their fan page, a number of people will friend request everyone in the group.  It might also be that people figure out I am the founder of LemonadeMakers and request my personal Facebook friend page too.

Then there are some requests from men who think Facebook is a dating app.  I try to screen them out but once in a while one makes it through.  When they say they like my smile – which is the usual first comment they make, I immediately think something negative like that’s because you don’t see the rest of me.

Do you do that? What is it that causes you to turn away from a compliment about your looks, the quality of your work – anything that seems personal? People could compliment you about your children or grandchildren and you wouldn’t turn away from the compliment. Only if it is personal about you do the alarm bells go off.

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start” – Nido Qubein

There was a commercial video I saw a few months back talking about the phrase “sorry” when we mean “excuse me”. It was about how often you apologize when you didn’t do anything wrong. It was by Pantene the shampoo company and it really reflected how many times you use it when you really mean something else.  A turnaround of this commercial is great.  Showing scene after scene of women who did not require validation from anyone else in the room.  Women who walked in and owned the room, like the leaders that they in truth are.  You don’t have to be the main character in “The Devil Wears Prada” to be successful, but you can take charge without apology.

You open an office door to talk to someone and say “sorry”. You brush by someone and say “sorry”. The list goes on.  Share this with someone to help you keep track of how many times you do this for the next few weeks or watch to see how many times you see it happen.  See how many times you or another woman says “sorry” when what should be said is “excuse me”. The suggestion is that we feel undeserving, and so say “I’m Sorry” for taking up your time, for taking up space, for thinking that you might have something to contribute.

Pantene Commerical

“Take charge, and don’t apologize for it” – Elite Daily

Sheryl Sandberg was really talking about this when she said, “we’ve got to get women to sit at the table.” She talked about how she went to a conference room for a meeting and the women were not sitting at the conference table, they were sitting around the table in the extra chairs against the wall. They were doing this even though there were empty seats at the conference table.

You need to stop letting other people who lack courage or determination to follow through on their dreams, stop you from doing so with yours.  You need to live your truth, and trust that you are more than worthy to sit at the table.  You need to live your truth and honor what you have to contribute.

“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you:  I am here to live out loud” – Emile Zola

She felt that a big piece of why we don’t take a seat at the table is because we don’t want the label of “bossy” and the other “B” word when we take the lead. You shouldn’t be afraid to be as ambitious as a man. You should ask for what you want – the raise, the promotion, to take the lead. You shouldn’t be afraid to be told you have a beautiful smile.

So, I am ending this with my most favorite quote by Marianne Williamson because – How dare any of us settle for less when the world is waiting for us to be remarkable!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others” – Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

Receiving With Grace

“When you look away from a homeless person, you diminish their humanity and your own” –  Father Murray, as quoted by Brene Brown in her book “Rising Strong”

This simple sentence really speaks volumes. What is it that would make someone turn away from a homeless person?  Have you ever pretended to not see someone? Are you afraid connect to that person? Why is it so hard for some to make eye contact with anyone?

“Be grateful for every compliment you receive – don’t shrug it off.  When you are open to receiving, you will receive more from the universe”  – Unknown

I was once at a seminar where one of the group things we did was to move around the room and hug. No words were allowed. Just a real, heart-felt hug and move on to another person. Most of us connected after the hug, looking into the other person’s eyes before moving on to the next person. Some people had a really hard time with this. Their eyes darted around and they could not maintain the steady looking into the eyes of the other person.

“When you give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed”  – Maya Angelou

One woman in particular really connected with me. When I look deeply into another person’s eyes, it feels like I fall into their soul. I see them. I see their stories. Their triumphs and failures. So much joy and pain. I saw all of those things and she felt it. We had a heart to heart connection. She came up later and handed me a card and quickly walked away. When I looked at the card, it was a drawing with the heart in the middle. I realized that she wanted to acknowledge the connection, but she wasn’t ready to talk about it. It was a beautiful moment.

“Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it” – Rabindranath Tagore

We had both been moved, because we saw and acknowledged that we had both been through hard times and it was ok. We were ok, because of the love and kindness of others.

“Always show more kindness than seems necessary, because the person receiving it needs it more than you will ever know”  – Colin Powell

Do you think that when you look away, that you are trying to avoid connecting on purpose?  Have you put them into a “this person is not like me” bucket?  You might mentally label them as “street people”, “homeless”, “bums”, “addicts”, etc.  Putting them into some “other” category that says “not me”? It might be that you are afraid that you might be in their shoes someday? Like it is somehow catching? Are you judging them for somehow failing in life?

For myself, I find that usually if I am looking away it is because I feel inadequate to know how to help,  or at that moment I don’t have any cash on me which is what they are asking for.  So I avoid eye connection out of my own inadequacy.

“It’s really important to be able to receive love and receive compassion.  It is as important as being able to give it”  – Pema Chodron

Brene Brown in her book, “Rising Strong” relates it to not wanting to admit that you need others in your lives. That you can’t do it all alone. That you are afraid to receive, and so when others are asking for what they need in order to survive, it throws you for a loop. Because you don’t want to imagine having to depend on the kindness of others in order to survive.

“Sometimes people have a hard time receiving what they want.  Why?  Because they feel they don’t deserve it” –  Notes from Nora

I can identify with the difficulty of having the capacity to receive. In some areas of my life, I have no problem. I grew up as a hand me down family, so I have no problem with second hand furniture or clothes. However, if my needs are more personal, then it is another matter. Like if I can’t do it all myself, I am somehow a failure. I’m supposed to be the strong one, the giver – not the receiver.

“You are important enough to ask and you are blessed enough to receive back”  – Wayne Dyer

Someone once talked about this, and it really helped me adjust some of my attitude around this. They talked about hiring someone to clean your home. The way they looked at it, by hiring someone to come and clean your home, you were helping another woman help support her family, and why wouldn’t we want to do that? It really changed the thought from feeling guilty that I wasn’t super woman and doing everything myself, to I can help another person to support their family by hiring them to do my house cleaning or yard work.

“Many people love to give.  It’s a great feeling, and they do so with no expectation.  But they often are awful at receiving, and really deprive others of that joy of giving.  If given a gift, they say, “You shouldn’t have”, “It’s too much”, or the worst, “I feel bad that you got me this”.  Ouch.  This creates bad feelings during what should be a nice moment, and though their intent was to be selfless and polite, it is actually ungrateful.   When a gift is given, “thank you” says that they appreciate the time, consideration, and effort that person has already put forth.  Giving is virtuous, but so is accepting gifts gratefully”  – Doe Zantamata

You are not meant to “do it all by yourself”. You are driven by your need of community. The phrase, “it takes a village to raise a child” says it all. Open up your capacity to receive. Connect to others. Really see everyone you meet. That connection you make could be just what they need to get through to another day.