Just Because My Path Is Different, Doesn’t Mean I’m Lost

It’s better to walk alone, than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.

 – Diane Grant

When we try to walk down another persons road, it leads to disillusionment and disappointment. That is because it isn’t “our” road. In the book “The Pilgrimage”, Paulo Coelho said that:

It is our decision to walk, that creates the road ahead of us.

 – Paulo Coelho

Trying to explain to someone what our personal truth is for the path we are walking, is like trying to explain rocket science to a baby.  It isn’t that the baby will never understand rocket science.  It is that the baby isn’t yet developed enough to understand.  We can’t explain our path to someone who isn’t yet at that same stage of their own truth.  It will only create misunderstandings, miscommunications, and lots of frustration.  Even we sometimes can’t put into words the necessity for why we have to do something.  We just know that we have to do it.  It has to do with our being conscious and open minded enough to realize when we are being directed.  It has to do with our acceptance of that direction, even when we don’t know why.

It takes courage to keep walking when the path is obscured by confusion.  TRUST.  BELIEVE.  And just keep walking.  The way will be revealed.

  – Sue Krebs

It is both being courageous and having curiosity, that keeps us forging ahead on the path. It is the journey itself, that grows us as a person. It is our attitude about what happens.  It molds us either for our greater good, or for living out life disappointed as a victim of circumstances and bad luck.  It is the difference between knowing what you need to do, and doing what needs to be done.  It is easy to get the knowledge, but the wisdom only comes from putting that knowledge into action.  It can’t just be “book learning”, it also has to be married to “learning in action”.

Getting lost along your path is part of finding the path you are meant to be on.

 – Robin S. Sharma

It has been said that it’s never about obtaining the “goal”. It is rather about who you need to become, to achieve the goal.  There are many different roads to walk. They go through many different landscapes.  It could be a forest path, with giant trees that shadow the land.  It could be through sand dunes and along beaches.  It could be a path of a river which sometimes meanders slowly, and other times rushes through rapids crushing you against the rocks, and then dumps you down a waterfall.  It could be the hot desert or the frozen tundra.  Each path will require different skillsets in order for you to become the master of your journey.  Different clothing, different shoes, different temperatures to be endured.  Different equipment from ropes, boats, sleds etc. . . .  It is always your choice of where you step, and which path(s) your choose.  If you don’t like the first road you chose, move over to a new one.

You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.

 – Marianne Williamson

It is always our decision to skip and sing our way along the yellow brick road, or to whine, complain, dragging our feet as we ask “are we there yet”?  Are you standing in your own truth?  Are you walking your own path?  Is your heart guiding you?  Look for the opportunities to better understand the journey.  Look for the helpers to guide us on our path.  The destination or outcome of our journey isn’t what is important.  It is who we are becoming, what we are actually doing that makes us successful.

I have always loved the saying, “It’s not the destination,… it’s the journey”. This is because the path we choose is our journey. It is where we live our life. It is all of life’s experiences. The good, bad, and the ugly. The messy parts, as well as the glorious adventures. We can see treasures every single day, if we just take the time to notice them.  Life goes on, it moves on.  It does it regardless of whether we are saying yes to our destiny or running the other way.  Since the path to happiness lies in the direction of our destiny, why not say yes?  Choose happiness.

Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?

 – Garth Nix

Along the way, we live life out loud. We can choose to taste and savor the experiences that that journey brings to us. The more that we can reach out in happiness, joy, and just plain exuberance, the richer our life is. The destination is simply a road sign. A sign that we made it to “X”. Then we begin planning a new destination or goal. It’s all about the road we choose, the path we forge.  Who we are becoming.  What we reveal and release that is not truly who we are at heart.

By choosing the path, we choose the destination.

 –  Thomas Monson

Have you ever heard the saying, “you can’t go home again”?  The reason why is that while you were away, you changed.  You look at things differently.  You think that everything changed.  But in reality it was you who changed.  The house you lived in as a small child, suddenly looks much smaller – the house didn’t change size – but your way of looking at the world changed.  We are all far from who we once were, and we are still farther from whom we are growing into.  What is really scary is when you go home again, and see those who haven’t changed.  They haven’t even put on foot onto their path.  They are still stuck back five, ten, or twenty years ago with the same victimhood mentality.  They are caution signs to keep walking on your path.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

 – Henry Miller

So cast off the bowlines. Sail out of the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds and see where they take you. Remember that you are always only one decision away from a totally different life. Embrace the journey and it will love you back.  Trust your journey, even when you don’t understand where destiny is taking you.  It could just be the biggest, most juiciest trip of your life.

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.  It will not lead you astray.

  – Rumi

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Make Sure To Taste Your Words, Before You Say Them Out Loud

Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.  It is almost impossible to truly understand what another person has experienced in their life.  Even if you have experienced a similar trauma, you don’t have the same fears, doubts, sorrows or pain that they have, each of which colors their experience of the trauma.

It’s easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their present and their past, but you’d be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides.  What a person shows to the world is only one tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight.  And more often than not, it’s lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the foundation of the soul.

  –  Sherrilyn Kenyon

That is why the very act of judgment is so harmful.  Most of us have the mean inner critic that creates a lot of havoc in our life.  We really don’t need the additional bench of outsiders judging us too.  Judging doesn’t bring anything positive to the table. 

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.  Doubt separates people.  It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations.  It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

  – Buddha

What doubt and judgment reflects of us is actually small prejudices.  These small personal judgments or beliefs we make are deceptive because the are like the thorns – tiny, but dangerous.  It works its way into the body and festers,  creating an infection than can imperil your life.  This is what leads to extremist thinking and actions.  It is these thorns that lead to bombings, to being a sniper in a tower shooting innocent people, to so many of the mass murders and terrorist actions we see today.

Allow judgments, expectations, and illusions to fade into the darkness. And in the light, all that remains is love. 

  – Greig Grippen

True empathy for one another means that we step out of the initial judgment or thought that we have about ourselves or another person.  It requires that we look beneath the surface to see what the storms of life have dumped into us.  When you peer into the water of a lake, you see the things hidden from view. There is dirt, mud, rocks, sand, sticks, leaves, things that you expect to find.  But what else might be there?  What has the  rain, wind, flooding dumped into the water over the years? 

There will always be a reason why you meet people.  Either you need them to change your life or you are the one that will change theirs.

  – Unknown

I remember that some divers went into a small lake just a few miles from Seattle-Tacoma Airport after a bad storm.  The lake is surrounded by office buildings and homes.  What they found were lawn chairs, outside tables, and various things that had been blown into the water over the years from the homes around the lake.  They also found a very, very, old hand hewn canoe from a tree, thought to be over 150 yrs old.  Just like this lake had been hiding many things beneath the surface, so do we.  Empathy  is what allows us to dive deep and begin to truly understand what might be going on.

We also have to look at the reason we are making the judgments, from a self improvement perspective.  There is a saying that every judgment we make about others, is about something that we don’t want to admit seeing in ourselves.  So when we make that judgment about somebody’s body being covered by tattoo’s or that they have bright green or purple hair, or that outfit is too young for them and so on and so on.  What is that judgment reflecting about us? 

“Go to the edge.” the voice said.  “No, I’ll fall.” I replied.  “Go to the edge.” the voice said.  “You’ll push me.” I replied.  “Go to the edge.” the voice said.  So I went and I was pushed and I flew.

  – Zen Proverb

I know that in the past for myself, I noticed that I made judgments about people who dressed differently than I did – in ways that drew attention to themselves, it was because I was jealous.  I was too afraid to call that much attention to myself.  Now that I know what was underneath of that judgment, it has shifted into being inspired by their courage.  What judgments do you habitually make that could be shifted into something positive?  Instead of judging others by the results of actions, what if we looked at the initial intentions, exercised empathy and went on from there? 

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.

  – Rumi

The rush to judgment is the exact opposite of this.  It is a rush to hate on someone, when the true story isn’t even known.  The whole concept of bad news traveling fast is because no one has yet gotten all of the facts.  When my nephew was murdered, the headline in the paper was about one gang member killing someone in a rival gang.  My nephew wasn’t a gang member and had never associated with anyone who was.  He was simply walking through the park late at night taking a short cut to a friends house to get his bike and ride home.  He was just in the wrong place, at the wrong time.  Two days later, the paper corrected itself, on a back page.  We see this happen all of the time on the internet.  Instead, wouldn’t it be nice to see some comments on lets not make judgments until we hear all of the facts of an investigation?

The secret in life is enjoying the passage of time.  Instead of clutching onto the past or fearing the future, experiment with letting go into the mystery of life.  Float on the river of time, curious about its direction, open to its changing nature.  You don’t really know where it’s going, so why not relax and experience the ride?

  – Elizabeth Lesser

Instead lets meet in the field, with the idea of laying aside the blame and judgments.  Lets allow ourselves to live life without the judgment of wrong doing or right doing.  Where instead, we can simply live a more loved filled life.  I know that this sounds like an unrealistic impossible place.  But even if we could come close to the edges of such a field, think about how much our own lives would improve.  About how much the world around us would be improved, just by us trying to live in this space.

In silence there is eloquence.  Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves.

  – Rumi

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This Is The Year I Am Unstoppable

This is the year, that I become the warrior woman that I didn’t think I could be.

This is the year, that every morning begins with a cup of the grandest vision I can imagine.

This is the year that I find the gold inside of me, and don’t try to dilute it.

This is the year that instead of allowing that critical voice inside my head to stop me, I will dust off my stiletto kick ass heals and crush it.

This is the year, that I let the wild and crazy girl go free.

This is the year that no one (not even me), can put out the burning desire that rages deep inside of me.

This is the year that “I am already everything I need”, becomes more than just a saying.

This is the year, that my “will” is stronger than fears resistance.

This is the year that I will forgive myself freely, and love myself relentlessly.

This is the year that my life is a living, breathing, screaming, invitation to believe in better things, not only for myself, but for the whole world.

This is the year that God is bringing new seasons of growth into my life.

This is the year that new doors of opportunity will up-level my life to a glorious future beyond my wildest dreams.

This is the year that the way I live my life, respects and enhances the freedom of others.

This is the year that I will always speak the truth, even if no one wants to hear, or will listen to it.

This is the year that I shine like a beacon through whatever dark nights come.

This is the year that I dance with change and transformation instead of fighting it.

This is the year that passion and purpose become that favorite dress that I wear for all occasions.

This year when I feel the start of something new, I am going to pay attention and follow the directions.

 

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Walk Away – Not From Pride Or Arrogance, But Because That Door No Longer Leads Somewhere You Can Live

We all stand at the threshold of a great adventure every day. It can be a scary place, because we all have our individual self doubts. We have to unlearn the programming that says it is selfish to put ourselves first. It is not selfish to love ourselves, to take care of ourselves, and make our own happiness a priority. As they say on every airplane takeoff, in case of emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first, then you can help others. 

Every soul is beautiful and precious; is worthy of dignity and respect, and deserving of peace, joy, and love. 

 –  Bryant McGill

You cannot change what is going on around you, until you start changing what is going on inside of you. We need to put on that oxygen mask, so we can take stock of what inside of us is not working. We need to let go of what is not ours to fix, put up with, or allow to continue happening.

We are all born with a purpose and a passion.  It is up to you to seek out that purpose and find your passion.

 – Billy Cox

We are fragile human beings who can be destroyed by another’s words or actions. If we are not being treated with love and respect, we need to see what value we have assigned to ourselves. The people that we surround ourselves with are a reflection of how we view ourselves.  We need to get off the “reduced last chance sale rack”, and get inside the fancy glass case where the precious jewels are displayed.

You are determining the future you every day.  Will the decisions you make today lead you closer to the person you want to be tomorrow? 

– Brenna Smith

How many times for example has someone said, “Where to you want to go to dinner?” and your answer was that you didn’t know or didn’t care.  You do know what you feel like eating, but somehow, you always say, “it doesn’t matter, what you do want?”  The scriptures say something like, he who is faithful in little things, is faithful in bigger things.  What it is talking about is the principle of patterns.  What you do in the big things has been formed by the habits of what you do in the little things.  The habit of always putting others before you, started in the smaller things, like what do you want for dinner.

Be authentic!  Don’t lower your dreams to fit it with others.  If people can’t celebrate your dreams, they are probably not your friends.

 – Phineas Kinuthia

We may be afraid that no one will listen to us, so why speak.  We may be terrified that they will laugh at our dreams and say they are unattainable. We fear being judged as unworthy, not enough.  We don’t want to be all alone and so we abdicate our life away, so that we will be accepted and fit in. This is the story that we tell ourselves so that we don’t have to change.

Instead we can start making choices that feed us, energize us. We can choose to be unstoppable. To be bigger than any worries that are buzzing around us. Those buzzing worries are just scenario’s that no longer serve to build us up. Release what is no longer serving you. Open the window shooing the fly to go buzz its way outside.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do, is also the right thing to do.

The universe is always speaking to us . . . sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else, something more.

– Nancy Thayer

You are more than you have shown yourself to be so far. You are more than you have been willing to see. You are stronger than you know. Trust your intuition and live a courageous life. 

Respect your efforts, respect yourself.  Self respect leads to self discipline.  When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.

– Clint Eastwood 

Today is the day to get up and walk down your sacred path. Choose to dwell in divine possibility. Awaken to the divine guidance that has been sending you messages. Believe in the divine plan, that you are more capable than you ever dreamed. Remember that you will never had to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny.  If it feels like that is the choice, then your intuition is telling you to pass that choice by. 

Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old.  

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The Butterfly Effect Is, Everything Happens For A Reason, Change One Thing, Change Everything.

Learn how to see.  Realize that everything connects to everything else.

  – Leonardo da Vinci

Change is a funny thing in our lives.  It happens everyday.  A seed breaks its shell and begins growing a plant.  The Apple Tree blossoms, forms the bud of an apple that grows and ripens.  The seeds are sown, they grow and produce according to their kind, and they are harvested, eaten and the process begins again.

In 1963 Edward Lorenz presented “The Chaos Theory” to the New York Academy of Science and was laughed out of the room.  Thirty years later, this theory was accorded the status of a “law” when physics professors proved it to be true. The original theory stated that, a butterfly flapping his wings set molecules of air in motion, which moved other air molecules and so forth until a hurricane was set in motion on the other side of the planet.  This change effect, states that in our own lives, even a small change can bring about a revolutionary impact in our lives.

We can look at this through the analogy of the ripple in a lake.  A raindrop hits the still water and starts a ripple.  Then another raindrop, and another, and so on.  Each one creates its own ripple.  These ripples expand out, and end up striking each other as the raindrops fall.  Each of these tiny ripples impact each other to create chaos in the still water.  In the same way, our thoughts, words, and the little details and actions that we complete or leave undone each minute, hour and day impacts not only our life, but the lives of others, both near and far.

Every single thing you do matters.  You have been created as one of a kind.  You have within you the power to change the world.

  – Andy Andrews

Your destiny is bound to the destiny of others.  They say, “the devil is in the details”.  The reason this is true is because it is the details that really change you, and the world around you.  You might think that big events change the world, but if you study history and trace backwards, it comes down to something that was thought to be insignificant, that really sets it all in motion.

Think back to something that happened in your life that you can see totally impacted your life.  Trace backwards to where the event really started.  Not the moment that all of the dominoes crashed down, but to the event that started the dominoes to tilt.   A close friend had some major changes happen in her life in the past 10 months.  She didn’t see the connections until just this past week.  When she saw them, she was astounded at what started the whole pattern to breakdown.

My friend and her husband decided the end of last year to move into a new condo unit.  It was a much nicer unit with more space and a great view.  The new condo was renting for $600 more a month than they had been paying.  It also had additional utilities payments that had been included in their rent for the previous condo.  So like most of us, she looked at her monthly budget to determine how they would be able afford the higher rent.

Her old place was next to a Starbucks, and they had been in the habit of going there for breakfast every single day.  So the amount of money they were spending a month, was just about equal to their higher rent payment.  So she thought they would just stop going to Starbucks, and the higher rent would be easily absorbed into their lifestyle.

They moved into their new home and adjusted their spending habits as planned.  This was the detail that escaped my friend when she made this decision, that she saw when she looked backwards.  My friend was contracting her wealth energy by making this decision.  Starbucks was part of her wealth profile.  She felt wealthy by going there everyday, and spending that much money on coffee.  It gave her the expansive energy of abundance.  She could afford to do this, therefore she was wealthy.

A few months later, she noticed that her business was slowly contracting and they were month over month earning less money.  This in turn caused her to further retract her spending habits.  Then my friends husband told her he was leaving her.  He had reconnected with his first wife and decided to divorce my friend, and begin a new life with his ex-wife. 

My friend was devastated, as she hadn’t seen it coming.  It was like she was getting hit after hit.  At one of their meetings to discuss their divorce, she finally got enough courage to talk to him about what had happened.  She asked him, when his feelings for her changed?  He told her that it was after they moved.  He felt like they were losing their lifestyle, and that it started with Starbucks and then continued on to other things. He didn’t want to live that way.

That was when the “lightbulb” went off in her head.  Starbucks had been the energy of her feeling wealthy. When she made that decision, that started the rain drops hitting her lake.  The more raindrops that fell, the more the ripples contracted her wealth energy, which caused her business to lose more revenue.  Those ripples hitting upon each other changed every bit of positive flowing energy in her life.  It was contraction after contraction in every aspect of her life. 

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful.  While she has been through hell the past few months, as soon as she saw the connections forming she immediately started shifting her energy back into the space of abundance.  Her business has fully recovered, and is currently more successful than it was this time last year.  She learned a powerful lesson that has been known for centuries. 

Everything is alive; everything is connected.

  –  Cicero

She feels that if instead, she had thought expansive thoughts, such as what can I do to increase my revenues to afford a higher rent, that her business would have grown and expanded.  They would not have had to reduce their lifestyle, and things would have continue along the same path with her husband.  Now while we can’t say for sure that her marriage would have not ended, but it certainly seems possible that she is correct.

Think back into your own life when you had a situation like my friend.  A time when life started going downhill fast.  A time when one domino after another seemed to be falling.  A time when you hit rock bottom.  Now trace it back to right before it all started falling apart.  There in that space, you made a decision, that was probably a decision of contraction.  There was something there that was a tiny detail, that you didn’t realize was connecting your life and holding it all together. 

When one tugs at a single thing in nature, one finds it attached to everything else.

  –  John Muir

This is so important to remember.  Contraction of energy will cause our connections to spin out of control.  It is expansion of energy that grows into abundance.  It is expansion of energy that creates love and compassion to one another.  This is what we need more of, both in our personal lives and the world.  It is the answer to all questions, expansion of love.

Humankind has not woven the web of life.  We are but one thread within it.  Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves.  All things are bound together,… all things connect.

  – Chief Seattle

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Remove The Boundaries And Make Your Dreams A Reality

In 2013, in Oregon, teenage sisters Hanna (age 16) & Haylee (age 14) lifted a tractor to save their father pinned underneath.

In 2015, in St. John’s, Newfoundland, Nick Williams lifted a four-wheel-drive vehicle to save a young boy pinned beneath its tire.

In 2015, in Vienna, Virginia, Charlotte Heffelmire was able to momentarily use incredible strength to free her dad from a GMC pick-up truck.

“The only thing limiting us in life is our belief that there are limits” – unknown

What do these three things have in common?

They are what you call miracles, extreme feats of strength. Adrenaline on overload. What they demonstrate is that the rules, boundaries and limitations don’t exist.

Why? Because you can blast through them, when you don’t stop to think about it. These examples show people who did something their logical minds would have told them was impossible. But because someone they loved was in danger, they did the impossible.

There was a commercial at Super Bowl XLIX for Always #LikeAGirl. In the video an adult female shows them what it’s like to run like a girl, then a young female teen, and preteen female and last a little girl. The older girls ran in an unreal way that was weak and ineffective. The younger girls ran as fast as they could. The commercial highlighted the fact that most women when they hit puberty, take in limitations to what they can do and be. 

“Our beliefs are just thoughts with emotions tied to them that we’ve taught ourselves to believe are true” –   JV Crum III

As teenagers, in order to fit in, you started holding back on what you were capable of.  75-80% of your negative thinking patterns come from negative beliefs that you have made up about yourself. 

When I started school, I was four years old, turning five in November.  I entered first grade, because my school didn’t have a kindergarten.  So, I was very small and always 1-2 years younger than everyone else in my grade. 

I was chosen last for any sport activity.  I formed the belief that I wasn’t good at sports.  Because of this belief, I never tried.  To this day, I am not active in any sports.  This is just a belief, and only my reality as long as I let it be. 

Ernestine Shepard, is a body builder.  She believes that age is nothing but a number.  Because of that belief she is doing some amazing things.  When she was 56 years old she decided to become a body builder.  In 2010 she entered the Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest female body builder.  At 83 years old she is still going strong.  “I am out running/walking at 3:30 a.m. in the morning with a group of people, seven days a week,” Ernestine told the Miami Times. “I eat very healthy and eat five meals a day every day. My gym schedule consists of going five days a week and doing a variation of 100 sit-ups per day.”

She has been on Oprah and recognized throughout the world for what she is doing. She teaches an Energy Fitness Class at a gym.  She has a video created by Prevention Magazine.  She is an excellent example of how it is never to late to take a negative belief about yourself, and break through any self imposed limitation with a new positive belief.

“Don’t limit yourself.  Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do.  You can go as far as your mind lets you.  What you believe, remember, you can achieve”  – Mary Kay Ash

All of us continue to allow limitations to rule our lives as adults. Some limiting beliefs are conscious and some unconscious. You need to realize that it is all just an illusion, a false belief of your imagination.

At one time there was a saying that if God meant for man to fly, he would have been given wings. The Wright Brothers refused to allow that limiting belief keep them from their dreams. 

Your beliefs challenge you to get creative.  You can choose to rise up and create what is needed to be successful.  Failures come when instead of rising up, your mind creates road blocks.  Your mind comes up with all of the perfectly good reasons why it can’t possibly work.  Why you are “not enough” of something to make it happen.  This path of limited thinking leads to failure.

People with boundary problems have distorted attitudes about who is responsible for failures in their life.

• Your parents made mistakes in how you were raised.
• Your have relationships right now don’t allow you the freedom you need to be successful.
• You don’t have a college degree.
• You are poor.
• Someone is out to get you at work.

The excuses list could go on and on.   The truth is that you have built boundaries all around your excuses and painted yourself into the proverbial corner.  The corner is limiting, but it feels safe.  You lack the courage to step over the line and actually risk pursuing something you want.  You are just plain afraid of any change in your life.  It happens to everyone all the time.

“Boundaries are for those who are too afraid to take the leap”  – quoted from @Business Beware

If you accept a limiting belief, it will become your truth.  What walls have you built over the door of opportunity that you are ready to blast into bits? What limiting belief are you ready to let go of?

Share with us your limiting belief that you are letting go of.   Your share will help all of us to do the same.

(“And She Lived Happily Ever After”) Wrong. “And Then She Created A New Beginning” YES!

 

Jack Canfield tells a wonderful story of an elderly woman who is meeting with her minister to plan out her future funeral. She tells him all the things that she wants around her and she says that she wants a fork. Puzzled the minister asks her why a fork? So she says, “when they have the potlucks at the church you know you are going to have a special desert, when they say to save your fork. The fork is to remind everyone that the best is yet to come.”

When a friendship, relationship ends, or a loved one dies, it can seem like our broken heart is all that we have left. There can be no happy ending. That is when we need to remember the story of the fork. We need to remember that the best is yet to come. We may not even see a glimmer of what it could be. We may look at the broken pieces of our heart and think that there is no way it can be mended.  “new beginnings are often disguised as painful endings”  Lao Tzu

But what we are doing is not really mending the heart. It is giving the heart a new beginning. Think of a clear calm lake. No waves, just a perfect surface reflecting all that is around it. Now pick up a stone and throw it as far as you can into the lake. As it hits the surface, it creates a ripple on the surface of the lake. It starts small and expands out to the entire lake. Eventually the ripples expand to the point that the surface of the lake is completely calm again.  “Start where you are.  Use what you have.  Do what you can.”  Arthur Ashe.

However the lake has been forever changed. It now contains that stone on the bottom of the lake. This is our heart. Our heart will never be the same, as it contains both the love and heartbreak that occurred. It can come back into it’s new shape, and look the same, but it has been forever changed. It is always a new beginning.  “I feel a new beginning coming towards me and I’m running to it with open arms.:  Unknown.

So when someone or something breaks your heart, know that eventually the ripples of sorrow, loss and pain will expand out and fade away. Our heart has been forever changed by the loss, but remember the fork – the best is yet to come. A new beginning.  “Every day is a new beginning.  Treat it that way.  Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be.”  Marsha Petrie Sue.  Trust in the magic of new beginnings.  Look forward to what is coming next.

To Catch Your Dreams, You Have To Be Brave Enough To Chase Them

Have you ever heard of the question  – If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would you want to have to a dinner party?  Eleanor Roosevelt is on my list.  She seems to have been a remarkable woman.  Her advice?

“Do one thing everyday that scares you”  – Eleanor Roosevelt

I don’t live up to this quote, but I do try to do things that scare me.  First I procrastinate on them a little, though.  Most of the things that scare me, are things that I have never tried to do before.  So every year part of my goals, are to do things that I don’t currently know how to do.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you got your first bike?  I remember being so excited to be able to ride a bike like all of the bigger kids did.  It was a symbol of growing older.  A lot like getting your drivers license or turning 21, a true milestone.  First though you had to have training wheels. It took a time or two to figure out that they were keeping you from falling, because you had to learn to trust them.  Then came the day that you had probably been whining about, the day they took the training wheels off.  You were ready to balance the bike and ride it all alone.  After a fall or two, you figured out how to balance the bike and from then on you were no longer a baby.

What I remember most, is that even though I was scared of falling and getting hurt, I wanted those training wheels off.  Being accepted into the big kids group was more important than letting the fear stop me.  Always remember that when you are scared, you are thinking about doing something that requires you to be brave.  Riding a bicycle without training wheels for a 5 year old is being very brave.

“If it’s both terrifying and amazing then you should definitely pursue it”  – Erada

What is something that you have done this past year that required you to be very brave?  What were the training wheels that you removed, the thing that you were depending on, that you needed to let go, so that you could grow?

When I took my drivers training class, it was part of high school.  The class started right after school, and the first time behind the wheel you had to drive off a side street bordering the high school.  All of your friends would gather around the stop sign, waiting for you to drive the car out of the lot and up to the stop sign on the side road.  Of course, there were several sudden jerking stops as you drove toward the stop sign and all of your friends would laugh.  It was like a hazing in a way, because it eventually happened to everyone you knew.  At some point we would all be the object of ridicule.  But at the same time, it was like – cool, I’m driving a car!

These are the two examples that I keep in my head when I am trying to break through and do something that scares me.  Both of those things scared me, but at the same time, it was cool, look at what I am doing!  It reminds me of the hit song from “Panic At The Disco”, “Hey look ma, I made it”.  It also helps to have mentors like Eleanor Roosevelt.  People that you admire, who you can look to for guidance.   Albert Einstein is another of my dinner party guests.  He said:

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new”  –  Albert Einstein

I think that sometimes you are scared to want something so badly that it hurts.  You are scared of not only failing, but of succeeding and then being disappointed.  Of succeeding only to lose it later.  So you tell yourself that you are afraid of failure, but in reality, you are afraid of success not being enough.  Of success not lasting.

“Move out of your comfort zone.  You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new” – Brian Tracy

I have really thought about this fear of failure/success.  I love the breakdown of the process in the above picture – that moving out of your comfort zone is actually a process of moving from fear, to learning and then to growth. (note:  the photo is from Adobe and I can’t fix the typo)

Once I move past fear the feeling I have shifts into anticipation.  Like fear, it also begins and ends in the stomach.  Like riding the roller coaster as it climbs up and up to the sky, and then hurtles you down to the earth, whipping you back and forth through the turns.  The wind blowing against you, your stomach lurching up your chest as you hold on tight.  Then all of sudden the ride is over and you are running back to the end of the line to do it again.  This kind of fear is telling you that being scared can be a thrill, because you are learning and extending your comfort zone at the same time.  That what you are about to experience by entering the growth zone is worth breaking through the hesitation and going full out.

“Life is inherently risky.  There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing”  – Denis Waitley

They say that at the end of a persons life, what they talk about is the things that they didn’t take the risk and try to do.  Being in love, is one of those risks.  Being afraid of being vulnerable, of being rejected, they hold back the words.  At the end of their life they regret not telling people how they really felt, not saying “I love you” enough to those that mattered to them.  When they had the opportunity, they shrunk back telling themselves, “they know how I feel”.  While that may be true, what any person wants and needs is to hear those words.

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” – Unknown

So whether it is learning to ride a bike, drive a car, ride a roller coaster or say “I love you” – don’t let fear hold you back.  Be brave.  Say the words, do the deeds.  Feel the fear and do it because it is scary.  Do the things that both excite you and scare you at the same time.  Live your life as fully expressed, as bravely, and as committed as you can.  Just maybe if you can do that, you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined.

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them”  –  Walt Disney

Never Be Afraid To Try Something New, Turn The Page

I used to work for a company that owned hospitals and healthcare centers, doing accounting.  The majority partner in the business would have the same order for lunch, every single day.  A turkey sandwich with potato chips.  Every single day, he ate the same lunch.  They ordered lunch from TGIF, so it wasn’t like he didn’t have any other options.

I think many of us live in a rut.  Stuck in a groove we can’t get out of, whether it’s our job, family drama or the little frustrations of everyday life.    – Brian Pinkerton

I always wondered if he ate the same breakfast every morning, and the same dinner every evening.  He was definitely a man stuck in a rut.  Rush Limbaugh says that when you are in this experience, you “are out of contact with your own genius”.   You have had this happen in your life at some point and time.  The rut is a place of safety.   You may have had a fear of the unknown, so the rut was a place of safety, because it is always the same.  When you turn the page, who knows what might happen?

So what Zella is telling us, is that being in a rut, can actually be part of the journey – the point is once you recognize that you are stuck, then you can start going backwards, or forging ahead out of the rut.  That you can blaze your own trail off the beaten path to your destination. That you can escape the rut.  That you can get back in contact with your personal genius.  This is because living your life on purpose through your personal genius, is when you know that you are home.

Changing a behavior is like driving down an old, rutted, dirt road.  In order to get out of the rut and onto a new path, you need to jerk the wheel really hard.  If you don’t jerk the wheel hard enough, you’ll just bounce right back on the same, old, rutted path.  So for change to happen, hold on tight, jerk that wheel as hard as you can and get ready for a happy ride.  Change is just beyond, on the other side.    – Perfectharmonysolutions.com

When you listen to your personal genius, your souls voice, it leads you to amazing places.  You find yourself living and doing things that previously you would only read about.  Things that you could never imagine yourself doing. It is a conscious choice to listen to this voice that emanates from deep within.

We’ve all been there.  The stress of moving your household.  First packing then unpacking.  It is exhausting, bad breaking labor.  Or not?  Maybe it’s a chance to play outside the box of go, go, go and instead find the joy in the moment.  That is a totally inside job.

The choices that come from the outside are harder to deal with.  The tragedy knocks you down and makes you a victim.  Even the blessing, is a harder choice, because the blessing usually starts out like the tragedy. It becomes the blessing because you realize that you were stuck and needed your world turned upside down to shake you loose.  The result of the blessing is that you took life’s lemons and made them into lemonade.

Being stuck in the past is like walking forward with your back facing front.  You’ll always miss out on what’s in front of you.   –  thedailyquotes.com

How do you recognize that you are in a rut?  One sign is reliving the past.  It happens because you were comfortable there.  You may complain about it, but you make no movement to actually change it.  Another is repeating the past mistakes over and over again.  Why do you repeat patterns of mistakes?  Because you have convinced yourself that this time will be different.  My mom was married five times, and every single man she married, she met in the bar that she was working in.  One of the things that every single man had in common?  They were all alcoholics.  I remember telling her as a teenager, that maybe if she met men some place besides work, it might work out better?

You must learn a new way to think, before you can master a new way to be.   – Marianne Williamson

This is how you get out of the rut.  You don’t try to solve problems in your life with the same thinking that created them.  You step up and out of the rut.  And you begin blazing a new trail.  So instead of stepping backward into the rut, step forward into growth.  See where life is taking you.  Listen to the voice of your soul, and wake up.  Live your life with the intention to grow, live your life from your true reason and purpose for being here, and love your life with a passion that is on fire!

Keep Going. Everything You Need Will Be Provided With Divine Timing

Life is too short to think small.  If you think that something can be done, then it is too small.  If you think something is probably impossible, that is the goal to go for.  Not because the goal itself is the thing, but because of how trying to reach it will grow you.

If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.  Go for the moon shot kind of goals.

Moon shot goals involve others in coming together as a community to make the really big goals happen.  Moon shot goals help others to reach out past their own boundaries and limitations as they buy into helping you accomplish yours.

The will to win.  The desire to succeed.  The urge to reach your full potential.., these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.   – Sabine Mondestin

The hard work of the goal is in making the vision clear.  When you can see the minute detail, then you can make plans.  With plans come steps.  With steps, you begin moving into action.  You gain a tremendous feeling of confidence when this happens.  This confidence, grants you personal empowerment.  Empowerment fuels your passion to bring the goals into reality. This is how the miracles begin.

It is like the infinity circle in which one part feeds and fuels the next part, in an never ending cycle.  Clarity fuels the plans.  Then plans fuel the steps.

Then steps start the wheels moving and you get action.  Action gets you excited that stuff is finally happening.

Personal empowerment comes from actions taking place.  Personal empowerment in turn fuels passion.  Passion feeds back into clarity.  Clarity begins the whole process again.

This is because as the vision starts moving forward into implementation, you get more clarity.  Clarity starts new plans.  New plans lead to revised actions.  The whole cycle begins spinning again.

With engagement the divine one moves in with synchronicities and doors begin to open.  People show up, all to bring your goals into reality.  You are not meant to accomplish things by yourself.  But no one can help you, until you help yourself.

I used to extinguish under the weight of living, but one day, I reached into my chest, dusted off my courage, and asked myself, “where’s your fire?”  –   D. Antoinette Foy

Be strong about your goals, and flexible about your methods.  Be willing to try things you don’t think will work.  To try things that you have never done.  You learn by discovering what will work for you.

Has anyone ever tried you train you by having you watch them do the job?  They walk you through a program.  They tell you what your inputs should be.  You go back to your desk, and you can’t remember what to do.  Your notes don’t make any sense to you.

But when someone sits beside you, and guides you as you do the work, now it sinks in.  You learn by doing it yourself.  As you do the work, you have the space to think of the questions you need to ask to understand the process.  When you just learn the process you are just a cog in a machine. When you understand the process, now you can innovate.  Now you can teach it.

When you become visible, you take a huge risk.  Because not everyone is going to like you.  Some people are going to hate you, just because you are different.  There will be those people that will be mean and cruel.  That needs to be okay.  You need to understand that you are not here for everyone.

You are not here with your gifts for those who don’t want them.  You are here for those that do.

The only real difference between us, is that some of us have remembered why we are here.  Others are still asleep to their true purpose.   They don’t remember their divine inheritance.    They will find fault with what you are doing, without really understanding why it bothers them so much.  They act as a challenge to help you reach your highest potential.

If you are persistent, you will get it.  If you are consistent you will keep it.  – Unknown

Such an interesting quote.  Being persistent is how you learn something.  Have you ever listened to a two year old, asking “why”?  They are the most persistent creatures in the universe.  Persistence is how you learn.  Understanding comes from doing it consistently.

You literally sink the learning down into your bones.  I like to think of learning, as how you learned to ride a bike.  Most of us can ride a bike.

• But how many of us learned how to ride with no hands?
• Learned how to jump the bike over obstacles?
• Learned how to do a wheelie?

You were persistent enough to learn to ride, getting back on every time you fell.  But were you consistent enough to go past the basics and learn all of the tricks of riding a bike – did you become a master?

How do you let the amazing out?

• You get curious.
• You think, why not?
• You question, how come?
• You imagine, what if?
• You wonder, who can I collaborate with on this?

Curiosity is the compass that leads you to your purpose.  Your reason for being here now.

When you are tempted to give up, your breakthrough is probably just around the corner.  – Joyce Meyer

Then you work on your true inheritance, and accept that as you become masters on this earth, that your signature will become your autograph.

A signature is so much more than just a splash of ink across the paper.  A signature is style.  It is a “look”.  It is something that says who you are.  When you see the Nike symbol, what pops into your mind?  Nike is not just about shoes.

When you hear the Coca Cola jingle, “I’d like to teach the world to sing” how does it make you feel?  Coca Cola is more than just a drink.  That is what a signature is.

You have so much inside of your soul waiting to come out.  That is why you will risk becoming visible.  That is why you can’t think small.

Because some part of you deep inside knows how truly magnificent you really are.  Each of us is a thread in Gods tapestry.  Each of us has a part to play.  Each of us has to become visible, in order for the pattern to be seen.  Each of us has that special one of a kind signature that the world needs to see, feel, and hear.

Walking In Your Purpose Makes You Magnetic

Life is too short to not follow your passion and purpose in your life.  Passion and purpose are like the infinity loop, in that each one both feeds on and fuels the other.  When they are working in tandem, there isn’t anything that you can’t accomplish.  This is the space of the “high” where you feel invincible.  Where everything just falls magically and magnetically into place.  There is purpose in your searching, which is fueled by your passion.  You search for the answers in response to the hunger that both drives and fuels your soul. It begins when you get the smallest glimpse of your true potential.

The meaning of life is to find your gift.  The purpose of life is to give it away.   – William Shakespeare

That time when you were a little child, and you saw someone doing something that just grabbed you, and you thought I want to be that or do that when I grow up.  At that moment you saw your true potential.  At some point fear of failure, or being told that you weren’t talented enough to be that or do that – something happens that puts a cork in your desire.  You bottle it up.  You bury it deep inside yourself, because you are embarrassed that you ever had that thought.  Who did you think you were?

There comes a time when the need of releasing that cork from that bottle, cascades out of you like a river rushing to the sea.  This need is a palpable thing.  Your heart knows it needs to be released.  Your instincts keep calling to you to release it.  It keeps showing up no matter how we try to ignore it.  It just continues to transform itself over and over again.  It might show up at work one time, at your home life another.  With a loss of a loved one.  With the reconnection to an old friend.  It might show up in your spiritual life.  It keeps winding itself through your life, until you finally pay attention.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.   – Eleanor Roosevelt

Within every life, the things that require transformation, are the pieces of misinformation that you have adopted in your life as being true.  You probably don’t even know that they exist in your subconscious.  For example; If your parents were divorced when you were a child, you may subconsciously feel that if you had been a better child, they would still be married.  This might show up in your life with an intense desire to make everyone happy, to put yourself as last, to literally have the welcome mat on your face as people use you, and then leave you.  You surrender and abandon your dreams.

You have convinced yourself that the problem is that you just aren’t giving enough of yourself away.  If you just try harder you tell yourself, then you can make everyone else happy, and only then you will finally be happy.   You keep that dream bottled up.  You tell yourself that your vision of your true potential is unattainable.  That you must settle. That whole story is a lie, a falsehood. That story needs to be transformed.

There will be places where your self sabotage shows up.  Places where the shadow swings into action to stop you.  Going around the bend of the river, you may get damned up by debris.  Some busy beaver has blocked the flow and dammed up the river.  This debris is all of the obligations that you have loaded upon yourself.  The excuses, “I am too busy or don’t have the time” and “I have no money”,  falls into this bucket.

The question comes up, what is behind the “but” excuse for you to follow your dream?  You need to get curious.  You need to start removing the debris, and figure out where it is coming from.  Each of those sticks is tied to some false belief or assumption that you have to identify and then transform.

Recently there were newspaper headlines “Thames River now home to sharks, seals and sea horses, no longer biologically dead”.  After years of cleaning up centuries of pollution, the river has come back to life.  Just like cleaning up the Thames brought the river back to life, you need to “clean up your river” so that you can get back into flow with your passion and purpose, back into flow with your God given destiny.

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.   – Socrates

At places it may seem as though you are motionless, frozen in place.  You have allowed the temporary artic blast from the nature of your fears, to freeze your river.  It may seem like a solid block of ice, but deep beneath the surface, it is still flowing to the sea.  It may have become a small dribble, but with the fires of your passion, you can melt the ice returning the river back into its full force.

Passion requires focused direction, and that direction must come from three other areas:  your purpose, your talents, and your needs.  – #sayquotable

Friends and family may try to sidetrack you, by diverting your river to their own benefit, but your need will find a way to get back on course.

At times we appear to be in flood stage, where the passion is so strong that you surrender to it.  It is at these times that you learn to trust in divine providence to take you where you need to go.  With the force of the floods, overflowing the course of the river, it will speed you past boulders that were blocking your path. Remember that all limitations, road blocks, and diversions are self imposed out of fear.  Choose to leap forward over every obstacle as a challenge, that you have in fact already conquered.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess.  Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best.  It is in that space between the breathing in and out, that brief space of holding, that you hear the voice of the divine.  In this space you have the power to choose your response.  Are you going to run from the challenge of having a mighty goal in your life?  Are you going to deny your highest dreams and say that this is not your calling?  Are you going to create a disaster by not having lofty ideals to strive for?  Or are you going to reach for the stars, and really truly own that this starlight belongs to you and only you?

You are here not to shrink down less, but to blossom into more of who you really are.   — Oprah

Gratitude is so important to happiness. Be thankful for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow – always shifting and transforming towards the magnificence that is buried deep inside.  Everything changes, seasons come and go.  You turn around and suddenly you find half the year is over.. Everything on this earth is in a continuous state of evolving, refining, improving, adapting, enhancing…, changing.  You were not put on this earth to remain stagnant. You came here to reach certain goals.  To fulfill certain dreams.  To capture the highest ideal of who you are capable of being.  You came here to not only reach the stars, but to reach beyond them.

Transformation Is the Dance Of Life