If Your Dreams Dont Scare You, They Aren’t Big Enough

Updated 12/09/2018

Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts –  Albert Einstein

This is so important when you are looking at the big dream, because 99% of people will tell you all the reasons why it can’t be done.  What Albert Einstein was really saying, is that the big dreams lay outside of the box of rules on how things are done.

There is a true story about a pilot who was born without arms, and how she learned to fly with her feet at the controls. There is another story about a woman born without legs who surfs and skateboards competitively. These two women have big dreams and accomplish them because they believe they can find a way to make it work. They defy the odds. They don’t let missing arms or legs be a limiting factor to their dreams. 

On “America’s Got Talent” there is the wonderful story of a young woman who lost her hearing as a teenager.  She was a singer and had big dreams of making it professionally.  She writes her own music, plays ukulele and sings beautifully.  She spent a few years raging against the world for taking away her dream to be a singer – then she figured out a way to do it anyway.

Janine Shepherd is a public speaker and author of several books including “Defiant: A Memoir”.  Shepherd had been an aspiring Olympic cross-country skier. She was nearly killed when she was hit by a truck during a training bike ride. Paralyzed and immobile for six months, she was given a grim picture for recovery.  Not only did she teach herself to walk again — she learned to fly — becoming an aerobatics pilot.  Her TED Talk is:  Janine Shepherd: How Can We Redefine Ourselves After a Tragedy?  Her story is amazing because she took her story and reformed it to continue to push the edges of her potential, not settling for the Janine Shepherd, disabled story.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude to me, is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or break a company . . .  a church . . .  a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past . . . we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.  I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.  And so it is with you  . . . we are in charge of our Attitudes – Charles R. Swindell

So, what are some tools you can use to lasso those big dreams into the barn? One suggestion is to have either a half day or full day block of time to write and brainstorm about the ideas on how to accomplish your dreams.

Another suggestion I read recently was to have what they called “implementation intentions”. We have all heard of intentions being set to bring something into your sphere of influence to assist you with a goal in your life. This is setting an intention with steps to implement the intention into reality. I have done this in my life without realizing what I was doing.

Years ago, one of my sons got engaged in the month of February. The wedding date was set for August and my goal was to save enough money to be able to pay for their honeymoon for them. I had it budgeted out and while it was a little tight, I knew that I could stretch and make it happen. Then in March they decided to move the wedding to the end of May. I looked at the numbers and I had no idea how I was going to be able to pay for it in less than 60 days.

I sat down and started writing out how happy I was that I had come up with a way to pay for their honeymoon. I wrote about how wonderful the wedding was and how much they enjoyed their honeymoon. I put every ounce of energy into the writing, with the words emoting all five senses as I wrote out how they loved Mexico – the sound of the surf, the smell of the flowers, the tastes of the spicy food. I expressed thankfulness and gratitude with every sentence.

After I finished the letter, I still didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I had my intentions pulling in all possibilities. About a week later I received a phone call out of the blue about a property that we have in Upstate New York. We owned a 10-acre parcel next door to our second home free and clear and the neighbors across the street wanted to purchase it for $17,000 and do a fast cash closing. With that money and what I had in savings; the honeymoon was paid for.

Set your intentions, be open to miracles, let go and let God take guided action.  Let your dreams unfold like a beautiful flower – Anna Taylor

That was a big dream that scared me, because I had no idea when the date changed that I could make it happen. I still am amazed at the timing of how it all worked out. I think that this is how all of the really big dreams happen.

You start out with the idea; which becomes a goal; which becomes an implemented intention. You get really specific in your mind as to what happened and leave the how’s to the universe, while at the same time, using all of your tools to bring your dreams into reality.

There is a Native American saying,

“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.”

• Dream so big that everyone thinks you’re crazy.
• Don’t let yourself or anyone else limit you.
• It’s time to follow your passions.
• Lasso those dreams and bring in home. 

The goal is to die with memories, not just dreams of what could have been.

Who Are You?

Have you ever been so lost in a relationship trying to be who they wanted, that you lost yourself?

Have you ever been in a job, where you were constantly biting your tongue so that you didn’t lash out at a coworker or your boss who was bullying you?

Did you spend your childhood trying so hard to be the perfect child, that you pushed and pushed all of your rebellious self into a tight box and nailed that lid shut?

We are only as blind as we want to be.

  – Maya Angelou

I think that most of us could answer yes to at least one of those, if not all three.  I spent my entire childhood trying to be the perfect daughter with my mom, because my experience of her was that if you made her mad, she would divorce you (she was married five times). 

When I met my husband, I spent the first few years trying to be the perfect wife to him, and the perfect mother to our children.  I put unrealistic expectations on myself.  I exhausted myself and the not so funny thing about it, is that my husband never voiced or indicated in any way that this was something that he wanted.  I have had jobs where Sunday night I got stomach pains or headaches just thinking about going into work on Monday and having to deal with that toxic environment.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we allow these kinds of situations to develop?  Are we actually setting them up in the first place?  Why do we stay in them way too long?

You can’t change what’s going on around you until you start changing what’s going on within you.

  – YourTango

What I discovered in myself, was a pattern of behavior on my own part.  I was taking subconsciously that pattern of behavior with my mother “being the perfect child so you are liked and loved” and I transferred it to my husband and children.  I even transferred it to work, thinking that if I just worked harder, smarter, faster, they would like me and treat me better.

You have the ability to quickly change your patterns of thought, and eventually your life experience.

  – Abraham Hicks

The first step to change is to recognize your patterns.  We all have them.  They are a part of our human nature. They begin in childhood.  Most of us had that one parent that we wanted and worked at getting to love us.  We wanted their attention.  We did whatever we had to in order to get it.  Sometimes it was being the perfect child.  For others it might have been being rebellious, because being the perfect child didn’t get you any attention.  You had to be the squeaky wheel.  Maybe you were the family clown, to make everyone laugh and defuse your environment in some way.  What is the pattern of behavior that you had with that parent?  Now look at your life now.  How is that pattern of behavior showing up for you?

Once you see the pattern, how it shifts and changes in every aspect of your life, you can begin to shift it.  I called my pattern Cami – because she is so good at camouflage.  I might think that I have rooted her out, but she still shows up.  The thing about patterns is that they have become masters at disguise.  So I am always finding her same old pattern dressed up in different clothes.  When I find her, then I can scoot her out the door, and work on changing the situation that she has created in my life.  It has become a kind of game.  I don’t fail at shifting my pattern.  She just keeps camouflaging how she shows up, and I get to play detective and find her.

Everything has changed and yet, I am more me than I’ve ever been.

– Iain Thomas

Now that I know and recognize the patterns, I see how I have set things up in the past to repeat the pattern of behavior.  It was what I was comfortable with.  I know how to act and react within it.  I find that now I recognize it before it sets itself up.  I can sidestep most of it, because I now know what to look for. 

The 3 C’s in life: Choice, Chance, Change. You must make the Choice, to take the Chance, if you want anything in life to Change.

– via Curianocom

I recognize that “the everything that has changed” is me.  I changed my own self destructive behavior by recognizing the signs before I activated it.  When you know what to look for, it is surprising how clearly you can see it.  My husband used to clean carpets for a living.  Everywhere we went, he would look at the carpets and comment on them.  It was automatic behavior.  We all have it, and making very small incremental changes to that automatic behavior shifts it into new and different patterns.  Slowly over time after he no longer had that job, he just stopped noticing whether a buildings carpets were clean or not.  It was no longer a focus of his behavior.  

One of the happiest moments in your life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.

  – Unknown

So when you look at your own daily routine, what is holding your patterns of behavior in place?  What small incremental changes can you make in your life?  Do you have the courage to let go of the “safety net” your patterns are holding for you?  Do you have the courage to do something different?  Do you have the courage to release the chains of patterns of behavior that are anchoring you in place?  Great changes in our lives don’t come from remaining in our comfort zone, and it takes courage to walk away from the certainty of our lives, for the unknown that beckons to us.

At some point in your life you’re going to have to start demanding what you deserve and be willing to walk away if what you require can’t be provided.

– r.h.sin

 It really is as simple as looking at your life.  You know what you don’t want, even if the knowing what you do want part is not totally clear.  You know what you have done to create what you now have.  You also know that getting something different is just as simple as asking and then implementing actions to achieve it.  You might have a harder time accepting that you deserve the best things in life.  But you do.  So stop settling for less.  If you still have parts of you buried, dig them up.  Get to know who you are at the most basic parts of you. 

Will it be easy?  Nope.  Worth it?  Absolutely.

  – Elite Daily

Be courageous enough to live the life that you have always dreamed about.  It might not happen overnight, but step by step, accepting what you deserve and working at the small changes, you will progress to living the life of your dreams.

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Heart’s Destiny

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.  I want to know what you ache for, and if you dream of meeting your heart’s destiny – Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Orian Mountain Dreamer is one of my favorite writers.  I invite you to read her books, they are small but mighty.  The Invitation is what this quote is from.  The poem is a wonderful deep dive into important questions that probe who we are and why.

Your words have power.  When you hide how you feel, what you think, you are trying to live your life using someone else’s light.  You can’t find your way home that way.

• There is always some truth behind the words that are followed by “just kidding”.
• When you say, “I don’t know”, there is always some knowledge that you judge as being incomplete.  So, you say you don’t know – when in fact you do know something about it.
• When you say, “I don’t care” you are not being truthful.  You think if you put your emotions in a cage and don’t let them out, you can’t be hurt by them.  The reality is that you are hurting yourself.
• When you tell others that you are “ok” when you aren’t, you rob them of the opportunity to help you.

May you always be guided by the light that shines forth from within you – solitaryview

Life is always about the meaning that you give to it.  If you take a lamp as the analogy, your soul is the light inside the lamp.  The things that happen to you are the glass that surrounds the light.  That glass doesn’t matter, it is the heart and soul – the light that matters.

You tell yourself stories about the events in your life, to give some meaning to what is happening to you. Some of you are writing horror stories, or stories that leave you drained from your fears and worries.

Others are writing stories about the gifts they have received as they travel through life.  The gifts from the wonderful things that have happened to you, as well as the tragic things.

The best way to count your blessings is to look at life through a variety of lenses. To bring things into and out of focus. To look into the depths of your soul to see what the storms dredged up for you to look at.  When you sift through it all, you can let go of everything that doesn’t serve you.  You can realize the lessons you have been taught.  You can keep growing into who you came here to be.

There is a big difference between making something happen and forcing something to happen.  Forcing something to happen isn’t natural.  It is like forcing yourself into something that doesn’t fit.

Have you ever laid on the bed to force your stomach to be flat so you can get your jeans buttoned and zipped up?  Or forced your foot into a shoe that you loved, but doesn’t really fit?  You might be able to get the jeans fastened, but it hurts your stomach when you try to sit.  You might be able to walk in those shoes for a little while, but eventually you have to take off the shoes because they hurt your feet so badly.  The vanity of false beliefs leaving you with blisters isn’t a good way to live.

And I know how broken you are, how heavy you feel, but still, you have to find the light in you.  You have to hold on to it with care and never let it go, even if it drags you to the end of the world – r.m. drake

Making something happen is really all about taking small steps to bring into reality what you are dreaming of.  It is catching the light of your soul and holding it up into the darkness, so that you can see where to go.

It is taking the voice or dancing lessons because you want to be in theater.  It is taking leaps of faith when you don’t know how to do something.  It is going for the brass ring as the merry go round flies around and around.  It is learning a foreign language for a trip of a lifetime to a foreign land.

It is taking big, medium and small actions, not just dreaming about it.  You don’t just sit there doing nothing to make it happen.

Have you ever gone somewhere new and experienced Deja vu?  That feeling that what is happening at this moment, has happened before?

Have you ever learned something new, and it was just so natural and easy that you didn’t even need instructions to do it?

For me, it feels like something that I have dreamed about, is now happening in real life.  That my mind already knows and sees the connections, like it was programmed into being.  I think that when this happens, you need to pay attention.  That you are in that moment, doing something that is important, even if your mind doesn’t understand it.

The Words I Speak Are All in Languages I Do Not Speak

And yet, when you get here, you are not given instructions.  There are no diagrams about how you are meant to live each day or directions on how to assemble some semblance of happiness.  You are not even told what colors to paint your feelings or given a purpose and a reason for your life.  You have to make all of it up.  You have to make all of it up yourself – Iain S. Thomas, from “I Wrote This for You”

No matter if you are in the first month or the last month of the year, take the time to reflect on what the year so far has been for you.  To see the places where life has been a blessing.  To see the places where you let your dreams fall by the wayside.  Pick them back up.  Dust them off.  Find within them the things that you are looking for.  Go beyond your means to make them come true for you.  Draw down deep within the story of them and bring it into reality.  Transform the pain and regrets of this year and past years into the blessings and joy of a new year.

The journey of life teaches you that growth happens when the dream is bigger and brighter than you ever thought it could be.

In the pursuit of your dream, you will illuminate your heart, capture your mind, and free your soul from the small box that you held it in.

You will discover that there are hidden maps within your soul.  That there are clues and invitations to walk through doors that will open your mind up to things you never dreamed could be true.  But you can only make those kinds of discoveries when you listen to your heart.

That is my wish for all of you today.  That you listen to your heart; that you hear the whisper of your soul and find the dream that is so big, that you too can grow beyond who you are today and enrich the universe.

Are You An Amateur Or Professional Change Agent?

You can’t change what’s going on around you, until you start changing what’s going on within you.

Zig Ziglar

What is the difference between a professional or an amateur, and what does that have to do with change?  Many things, but the first thing that comes to mind is this:  An amateur stops with the initial change, while a professional understands that the first change is just the beginning and that many more will follow. 

So an amateur might be the caterpillar that builds the chrysalis and thinks he is done.  He has changed his life.  While the professional takes a much longer viewpoint and realizes that he not only needs to build the chrysalis, but that there will be changes within the chrysalis and that at some point, which those transformations have been fully completed, he will need an exit strategy.  Then he will need to emerge into a new world, and that this world will expect more changes and transformations out of him.  Just like the butterfly, there is a new life to be fully explored.  The chrysalis was just the beginning.

Life is not always fair.  Sometimes you get a splinter sliding down a rainbow.

Terri Guillemets

We must live a multidimensional, multifaceted life.  The first viewpoint is just that – a first.  There are so many angles to view life from.  Part of that process of becoming a professional, is realizing that feedback or coaching shouldn’t be viewed as negative.  It shouldn’t be viewed as a personal attack, even if it is delivered like one.  I remember years ago reading something that really changed my life.  If someone is telling you that you did something wrong, and you didn’t do it – you should still listen to what is being said.  The very fact that it is being said means that somewhere in the garbage being unloaded on you, is a gold nugget.  Instead of getting mad, hurt, angry and yelling at the world for being unfair – look for the gold nugget.  We all have weak spots – things that we don’t see or recognize about ourselves.  Finding out what those are and working to bring them into our circle of competence is what will make us successful in any endeavor.

You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.

Nick Matthews

Professionals accept failure as a learning tool.  In sports such as baseball or basketball you learn that you can’t hit a homerun or have the basketball shoot through the hoop every single time you try.  But you can analyze your process and use the failure as a tool towards growth and mastery of the sport.  In the same way, the more consistent we are with our process of change, of transforming our lives through the failures, the better our outcomes will be.

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything.

George Bernard Shaw

Knowledge is power, because we know what to do.  But the application of that knowledge is what is really important.  It is the correct application of knowledge that brings true wisdom to the fore.  It is this – the knowledge of why the rule is there, tells us when it should be followed and when it should be broken.  It is the understanding of bringing humanity into our decisions.  Of understanding when the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one, or when the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many – both can be true.  It is the focus of both long term and short term results that tell you which way is the right way.  It is understanding second level thinking.

Old ways won’t open new doors.

Ashley Bridget

When we first meet someone, we make a judgment about the person.  Based on what they look like, how they present themselves, how they talk and move – we make a superficial judgment about who they are.  If you were to meet me on the street, because I dress very casually, and love to shop second hand stores and don’t live in an upscale neighborhood you might make a certain kind of judgment about me.  If you heard about how poor our family was when I was growing up and that I left school my senior year and didn’t get a college degree you might make another kind of judgment about me.  If you heard that I am a Director at one of the top five banks in the world, you might make another kind of judgment about me. 

Don’t judge my choices if you don’t understand my reasons.

Susan Surillo

All of those would be superficial and not take into account a million things that are also true about me.  Second level thinking goes beyond the superficial where most of us live our lives.  Second level thinking is deep, complex, and convoluted.  It is the kind of thinking required to play chess well.  It looks at all of the moves that can be made on both sides of the board, and levels that up to all possible plays with each new move.  It looks at each piece of knowledge; at where the decision paths converge and at when they then separate.  It creates a consensus of all of the data and of all of the probabilities, then it comes to the best decision based on everything that is known and can be guessed.

One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.

Unknown

It is the realization that the first answer we think of, the first thing we think is the right way to go is rarely so.  It is knowing that absolutes are almost never the right answer or the right way to think.  That black and white thinking keeps us in first level thinking and keeps us in the large amateur crowd.  We need to be curious and consider all of the probabilities and possibilities.  We need to understand that true reality is not what we want to see, but what’s true.  Get curiouser and curiouser.  Take the time to deep dive into exploration; into letting our minds run, and look for the inspiration to do and be different.

We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.

Max Depree

So it all comes down to being curious.  To up-level our thinking to the second or even third level.  To looking at reality – not from what we want it to be, but what it is.  From making big and little changes, even micro changes – but always making new transformations in our lives.

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Curiosity Brings Satisfaction

“Curiosity is lying in wait for every secret” – Unknown

“Be curious always!  For knowledge will not acquire you:  you must acquire it” – Sudie Back

“The secret of making dreams come true can be summarized in four C’s.  They are curiosity, confidence, courage and constancy; and the greatest of these is confidence” – Walt Disney

“The future belongs to the curious.  The ones who are not afraid to try it.  Explore It.  Poke at it.  Question it and turn it inside out” – Skillshare.com

“Be curious, not judgmental” – Walt Whitman

“What if” becomes a mantra.

Creating a life filled with happiness and love starts with curiosity and self awareness – asking the right questions and not being afraid of the answers. Being 100% honest with yourself, will produce insight into not only the problem that presents itself, but the solution that comes from a new perspective. It is about looking under the facades that fears create, to delve deep and unseat those fears.

Approach every challenge in your life

from a loving peaceful curiosity of,

“what then?”

“I’m always curious to know about your past, because that’s the place from where you belong, and it will let me know how you built yourself” – Vishal Rastagi

“Curiosity, especially intellectual inquisitiveness, is what separates the truly alive from those who are merely going through the motions” –  Tom Robbins

Move Outside Your Fears, Enter Through The Door Of Your Dreams

Updated 8/05/2018

So many times we ask the divine for help, for guidance.  The door is open, right there in front of us, but we don’t enter.  It could be that what we see beyond that door is not what we were expecting for the answer.  It could be that we are so caught up in the drama and chaos that we don’t even see the door.  We remain in our self imposed prison, feeling sorry for ourselves, and we are the only ones with the key.

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.

  –   Corrie ten Boom

I was reading a book recently and one of the sub plot lines was that one of the main characters had seen in a vision that he killed one of the other main characters.  Sometimes what we see is a still point scene, meaning that it is just a flash of what the scene is about.  But we don’t see what happened before or after it.  Like this photo we just see a green mist.  It isn’t until we step through the door that everything becomes clear. To refuse the journey because of what we think might happen, is to live our life with fears chains limiting every move.  Be brave.  Trust who you are at the heart and soul level.  Unlock fears chains and walk through the door.

Fear knocked at the door.  Love answered and no one was there.

  –  Dr. Wayne Dyer

In the book I was referencing, she had been poisoned with a drug that would affect her brain in such a way that she would become a killer, no moral codes, insane.  And the same time, the sane part of herself would know everything that the insane part of her was doing.  She asked him to kill her.  Our divine destiny sometimes leads us to places unexpected.  Without knowing the whole story we look out that door and see a scene that we reject wholesale.  We judge it without an understanding of what is really going on. 

It’s better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that”. 

  – Lessons Learned In Life

We need to walk through that door to begin the long journey to ourselves.  To unfold our own myths.  The ones that you grew up with.  Your sibling is the smart one (which made you the dumb one).  Your sibling is the athlete (which made you clumsy or uncoordinated).  Your sibling is musical (which made you tone deaf).  We could go on and on with the comparisons between you and someone else as you grew up.  The teachers who told you that you couldn’t do something, weren’t talented enough, whatever the rejection was that you accepted as fact.  Then there are the myths that you just told yourself, based on your own low opinion of who you are, and what you are capable of. 

If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later.

  – Sir Richard Branson

And of course there are the hopes and dreams of those that love us, that aren’t the same as our own hopes and dreams.  I remember in the book, “Love, Medicine and Miracles”, one of the true stories was of a young man who had terminal cancer.  He was in college studying to become a doctor, because that was what his parents wanted.  When he found out he had cancer he quit school and went to play his violin which was his dream and passion in life.  Funny thing happened, his cancer went away.  When he started living his life purpose, he starting living his life. 

When opportunity knocks, don’t let fear hold you back.  Open the door and embrace the opportunity that has come forth.

 –  Live Life Fully

When he stopped letting fear of disappointing his parents stop him from being who he really was, he opened the door to the life he was supposed to be living.

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker.  Failure is delay, not defeat.  It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. 

  – Denis Waitley

The other thing that keeps us from walking through that door is the voice that remembers that one time we fell on our face.  A complete laughing stock failure.  You don’t want that to ever happen again, so take no chances on walking through the door.  We need just enough courage to open that door and step through.  We need a new definition of what failure is.  Failure is a temporary detour.  It is the realization that failure is just a part of the process on the road to success.  Failure is not a stop sign.  It is a learning experience that we need to fully embrace.  To hold it in our arms, to hug it tight.  We don’t die from failure.  We do however stop living, if we let failure be a stop sign.

I’ve failed over and over and that is why I succeed.

  – Michael Jordan

In basketball you miss more shots than you make and you are still a success, why?  Because you keep trying, and you don’t sit in the stands and watch, not taking the shot.  You keep trying and you even though you miss some of the time, you also score some of the time.

Let the people discover you!  You might have the key of the locked doors in their lives!  Open yourself to the world; you might be the magic the world needs! 

  – Mehmet Murat Jidan

So many of us walk through life, trying not to be seen.  We are afraid of being judged, as not being worthy, of thinking more of ourselves than we should and being found a fraud.  But that is just a lie.  The more that we let people in, the more our life opens up.  The more that we be who we truly are without the limitations we put on ourselves.  The more that we help ourselves, the more we can help others do the same.  That is the change that the world needs.  To live out loud, who we are in our souls.  When we do that, we give others permission to do the same.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a  river moving in you, a joy.

  – Rumi

Walk through that door.  Don’t let the fear of change, of the unknown. of possible failure, keep you from living your life on purpose.

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Our Words Matter

And, yes, words matter.  They may reflect reality, but they also have the power to change reality – the power to uplift and to abase.

William Raspberry

I think that all of us heard the nursery rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but word will never hurt me”.  And all of us have been hurt by the words of others.  Sometimes the words of bullies as they seek the soft spot that will create pain.  Sometimes the words of loved ones, when we fight and say mean and hurtful things to those we love.     Japanese scientist, Masaru Emoto did an experiment in a elementary school classroom in which he placed two jars of cooked rice.  Each day the kids in the classroom had to pass by these jars and say the words taped on the jar.  On one jar the words were “Thank You” and the other jar the words were “You Fool”.  After 30 days the jars were removed.  The jar with “Thank You” contained rice that looked like it had been cooked that morning, white and fluffy.  The other jar with the words “You Fool” had shrank into a black shriveled gelatinous mass.  Words have an energy that affect both the speaker and the listener.  

Words matter and the right words matter most of all.  In the end they’re all that remains of us.

John Birmingham

There are others words that matter.  The words that we say to ourselves in our heads.  Like “your so stupid” or “you always make the wrong decisions” or “You’ll never get it or do it right”. . , and so on and on.  Words that say that we are not good enough.  Never say words that make your body or your accomplishments in life a joke.  Stop name calling and self criticism to yourself, as well as others.  We are all at any moment in time doing the best we can, with what we know and understand in that moment.  We can all do and be better.  It requires us to be conscious of the words coming out of our mouths.  Surround yourself with positive, uplifting words.

You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times.  But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by.  It’s actions not words that matter.

Nicholas Sparks

Do we put actions to our words, our intentions to be better, to do better?  Do we keep trying to walk towards a better life, or when we trip and fall down do we sit there in lamentation and say it’s no use.  That we are who we are, and we can’t do it.  I always think of babies when they are learning to walk.  They tip over and over and over.  They fall so many times.  And each time they get up and try it again.  Although they can’t tell you, they are learning from each failure how to achieve balance.  It isn’t something learned on the first, second or even 50th try.  But they all – 100% of them keep trying.  And once they are walking it seems like almost instantaneously they are running.  They don’t let anything hold them back.  Do we put the same kind of actions to the words that we speak?

No matter what people tell you it’s words and ideas that can change the world.

Robin Williams

Just as words can create wars, they can also create positive change in the world.  Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” words changed the world.  Look at what has happened in the past few years with the movements that have been created to bring something positive out of their own pain as survivors, or of families of those who lost loved ones.  Drugs, gun violence, racism, those sold into sexual slavery, sexual harassment/assault – all have created hashtag movements – #MeToo –  #NotOneMore – #TakeAKnee – #BlackLivesMatter – #BringBackOurGirls – and so on.  Your views of what was done to try and make positive change may not agree with all of the attempts to find social justice, but they do prove that words and ideas can change the world.

In every encounter in life we either give life or drain life.  Their are no mutual exchanges.

Brennan Manning

Always remember that your words carry weight and bearing in the lives of others.  Choose them wisely.  When we speak words of hate, we find ways to support those words.  We actually see the world through a “lack” mentality.  We blame all of our problems on “Them” – whatever group “Them” is.  We see the world through that lens and it distorts what we see to fit the viewpoint we have adopted. 

The same is true of having a positive outlook on the world and the changes that take place in it every day.  Every day someone’s smile brightens the life of another.  Every day a policeman or fireman or paramedic saves the life of someone.  Every day someone says no to drugs.  Every day someone refuses to join a gang and live a life of violence.  And every day someone who has been caught up in a world of drugs, alcohol and violence says no to continuing to live that lifestyle.  The life we life and the world that we see is viewed through the lens that we have created.  At any moment in time we can change the lens.  Right now at this moment, someone is reading or seeing something that moves them to change that lens.  To start one more time living a life that brings positive change not just to their life, but those around them, spreading it to the whole world.

. . . words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew, upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions think . . ,

Words Matter Week, 2014

Each day we design the life that we are living.  All of the small daily decisions add up to the day we live.  It is so easy to get caught up in the news.  Depending on the stations we listen to we are fed a diet of everything that is wrong in the world, from a specific viewpoint that always says that the other guy is wrong.  We don’t debate ideas from the news, we fling judgments against other.   We are subconsciously refusing to hear the emotions, the hurts, the “reasons” why they are saying those words that damage others lives.  

Words are free.  Its how you use them that may cost you.

Kushanwizdom

Words have meaning in the context in which they are spoken.  Say the word fire – at a family barbeque.  Say the word fire – in the workplace.  Say the word fire – in a crowded venue.  The family barbeque uses fire to cook the food, and it’s a normal safe word to say.  Say the word fire in the workplace, and you will get a negative emotion running immediately.  Either yourself or someone you know has just lost their job, their means of support for themselves and their family.  It is sad, threatening, humiliating, depressing, and so stressful, not only to the person fired, but to the whole office.  You also may feel guilty because you feel relieved that it wasn’t you, that your safe.  Say the word fire in a crowded venue and you have people fleeing for their lives.  You will see them stampeding towards any exit.  Some people will be so scared, traumatized or selfish that they literally run over others trying to escape.  Some people will become heroes, saving the lives of others, even if it means that they die trying.  Words in the context of how they are used reveal things about ourselves that we never knew or acknowledged before.

Your words matter.  A wider world is waiting to hear your story.  When will you have the courage to tell them?

Peter Thomson

You crafted the stage you’re now on, so that you’d be pushed on to discover your power, the dreams worth pursuing, and the passion to create them into reality. In the lives that we have lived so far, we have created illusions to support who we think we are.  To support who we are capable of being.  These illusions have created and supported your thoughts, beliefs, and expectations.  It is up to us to ask the questions from a place of curiosity as to what of our beliefs are illusions.  To question how we gathered these thoughts and facts into truths that are somehow cemented into unbiased realities that we refuse to change. 

We live in a world of possibilities.  We all have potential that we haven’t fully plumbed or realized.  Facts change every day.  Every day some new scientific discovery is made.  They used to say that man couldn’t fly.  That if God wanted man to fly he would have given him wings.  It was a fact.  Then curious men created planes, rockets, hot air balloons, space ships and so on.  Then flying through the sky became a cemented fact.  Every new “truth” discovered requires that we change a previous truth.  

Curiosity creates the possibility of a new word, or truth.  Words give us a trail to follow.  Intention brings action to the words and creates new truths, new meanings to the words.  It creates a life journey of discovery, of continually learning new things not just about ourselves, but our world.  As the Star Trekkers say, “To go boldly where no man (or woman) has gone before”.  Stay curious, stay hungry for more, live in the moment, and most of all create peace and happiness in your life.

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Dreamers Touch The Stars And Change The World

For many people, authentic life starts at the time of death – not our own, but someone else’s – Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

This is so true for me.  It was the murder of my nephew that changed my whole life.  Up until that time my lived was lived by following what others had either taught me or expected of me.

The lesson I learned from my mother that drove me, was to have a career that earned a great income so that I would not be like her and end up homeless with her children.  In her mind her only option was to return to a marriage that she had left behind because it would provide support for her children.

At first after my nephew died, it was all about helping my sister survive the storm of grief that ripped her world into tiny pieces that we couldn’t put back together again.  Then once we all knew that she while she wasn’t fully recovered, she was surviving and learning what her new life would be, it was time to deal with my own grief.

I knew that I wanted to bring something positive out of his death and so I started writing my way through my own changing and evolving world.  I had wanted to be a writer since I was a small child.  But I didn’t have any confidence to begin the journey.

Each time my heart and soul drew me into that space I had a ready excuse as to why I couldn’t do it.  I have four children to raise, a fulltime career and husband to take care of.  So, I would lie to myself about the reason why I didn’t have the time to write.

People will kill you over time, and how they’ll kill you is with tiny harmless phrases like “Be Realistic”  – Dylan Moran

First it was when the kids were all in school, then I would have time to write.  Then it was when they all graduated high school, then I would have time to write.  Then it was taking care of my dad who had retired early with disabilities, so now I had a new obligation to put off this dream of writing my own stories.

Always there was something more important to be done.  Besides I told myself, be realistic, “no one will want to read what you write”.  As I wrote my way through changing myself and posted it on my personal page, I kept being told by others to do more.

Self-confidence is something that Walt Disney had to have had.  He had businesses that failed and ended bankruptcy. He lost most of his employees and a big contract to a film producer that had been working with him.

What he discovered and what I discovered was that when one door closes another opens.  For him that lead to the creation of Mickey Mouse, who actually has his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

For me, it was discovering that this dream that I had buried as not being worthy of was in fact possible.  The writing on my personal page, created the self-confidence to create the LemonadeMakers page here on Facebook and a website that we are slowly expanding to create even more material for our followers.

In the words of Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu: “When you let go of what you are, you become what you might be.”

As I walk this journey of following my dreams, I get ideas of where it might be taking me, but I don’t really know what I am becoming.  I still feel constantly as though I am in the chrysalis and becoming something new.  I am still being stretched into unknown realms.  I am constantly learning, adapting and regrouping.

I fall down on my face, but I keep getting back up.  I brush off the dirt and dust and look in the mirror.  It is the act of constantly letting go of the life I thought I should have, that I am able to embrace the life that is waiting for me.  It is the constant asking of these three questions that keeps opening new doors of discovery for me.

• If I knew – honestly accepted – that I would succeed at whatever I did, what would I want to do next?
• If I knew – honestly accepted – that I had millions of dollars in the bank right this moment, what would I do next?
• If I knew – honestly accepted – that I only had 6 months life to live in this life, what would I do in that time frame with my life?

When you ask those questions, sit with them in silence a few moments and see what bubbles up to the top for you.  When you boil some sort of vegetable, a lot of times there is this film of stuff that spreads across the water.  A sort of scum that I always ladle out of the boiling water.

This is what happens when we sit in silence with a question.  Our minds float up a denial.  It floats up a distraction.  If floats up fears.  Just look at them without judgement and scoop them out and let them settle into the earth.

Now return to the silence and contemplation and see what bubbles up next.  Write it down and see what else floats up to the top.  Keep writing until you have a list of things that you would do next.

Dreamer (n) A person who visions their ambitions to plant the seeds of their future

/ Dreams are realities in waiting/

Now take that list and put the items into two columns, column A and column B.  So that if you had 10 items, you would now have 5 lines with an answer under column A and B for each line.  Now ask yourself which draws me more – item A or item B and circle that answer for each of the five lines.  Now you should have 5 circled items left.  Do the same process, only now taking the first circle item to the next circled item and keep picking between the choices until you have only one circled item.  You now have the winning thing you would do next.

So, let’s say just for sake of example it was to learn to fly a plane.

Now google local flying instructions and make appointments to interview them.

Pick one and take your first lesson.

It’s really that simple to let go of who you are, a dreamer with no action taken to accomplish his/her dreams, and a dreamer who makes a phone call and gets into a plane and takes their first lesson.  If it turns out that you discover flying isn’t something that “rings your souls bell” then go back to your list and go through the items again to see what else might be the next dream to accomplish.

Awaken To Your True Self And Take Flight

Everyone has the perfect gift to give the world – and if each of us is freed up to give the gift that is uniquely ours to give, the world will be in total harmony – Buckminster Fuller

The journey we are all on, individually, has interesting intersections.  Places where we have almost identical experiences.  Places where we are on the same page at the same time.  Wherever we are traveling on the map, someone has been there before us, and someone is just behind us.

We are driven by a hunger to express who we really are, and at the same time, we are like, “wait, wait, I’m not ready”.  Our choices reflect our greatest dreams and our deepest fears and insecurities.

Do you remember when you went to a playground or maybe it was at school recess – the first time that you climbed up the ladder of the slide and looked way down to the bottom?  It seemed so far below us and really scary.

Maybe you went right back down that ladder too scared to go down the slide.

Or maybe you went down the slide but remained in total control by gripping the sides of the slide so that you just eased yourself down to the bottom very, very slowly.

Or maybe you threw caution to the winds and went down the slide screaming at the top of your lungs and ran as fast as you could to climb back up the ladder and this time to try it backwards.

We as human beings have this amazing capacity to be reborn at breakfast every day and say, “This is a new day.  Who will I be?” – Jack Kornfield

• How many things in your life have been like that slide experience?
• How has this pattern showed up in your life?
• Do you blunt your own truth?
• Do you not fully commit to anything in life?
• Do you like to stay in the lines, and play safe with life by staying within your comfort zone?
• Do you avoid pushing boundaries at home, at work, when exercising, in every area of your life?
• Are you setting goals or New Year’s Resolutions that are not really growing you or breaking out or through anything that you did last year, or the year before that . . ., all the way back 5, 10, or 20 years ago?
• Is RISK a dirty four-letter word to your brain?

When you move forward, is it from consulting your own inner guidance, or from following the advice of others?  You awaken and become conscious of your purpose in life when you stop looking outside for the answers that can only be found inside of us.

Sit in silence and listen to the soft voice of your heart.  To the guidance of your soul.  This divine guidance comes to us through the voice of intuition.  When we start to live our life from this authentic place, our soul becomes visible.

The more you trust intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become – Gisele Bundchen

Do you move forward without design with “a leap of faith”, like racing down that slide in childhood.  Or do you continue to walk down well-worn and well-known paths based on your need to control everything in your life? Like gripping the sides of that slide to control your slide to the bottom.

Do you get vulnerable and put yourself out there, or do you draw back into your quiet safe corner where you can’t be seen or heard?  We mistakenly think that when we keep safe, that we are avoiding being hurt.

The truth is when we are not taking that leap of faith, we are suffering a far greater pain.  We suffer in life, from not living our purpose.  We suffer the regrets of not living a fully lived life. That leap of faith is the road to the happiness.  The road to living a life well lived.  Of stepping up into transforming not only ourselves, but the world we live in.

Think of people who became “obsessed” with something – Jane Goodell, Mother Teresa. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, all come to my mind.  All people that when you hear their name, you think of the “thing” or purpose that gave meaning to their life.  Their message comes through loud and clear.  You associate their name with the message.

It isn’t only their life that was changed by their following their passion.  Their life purpose actually changed the world.  They have literally become a living archetype, a soul on fire.

In a world where everyone wears a mask, it’s a privilege to see a soul – Unknown

Watching a candle flame is watching the transformation of fire.  It dies down and flames up over and over again.  It is constantly changing – it changes directions, it changes height, it changes width – in any one second it is not the same as it was the previous second.  It reacts to the slightest breeze in the room.

When we awaken, there is a fire that starts burning within our soul.  We awaken to our true nature, as everything that doesn’t belong gets burned away.  We start to get glimpses of what our truth is.  We see the masks of conditioned behaviors and patterns that need to be removed, as they don’t serve us.  Like a mirror we see reflected back to us what is holding us back. We see that the walls that our patterns built to protect us, are in fact keeping us from living to our full potential.  When we see life from our soul’s perspective, we see that there are no obstacles, only guidance.

Don’t let life’s challenges harden your heart, let them empower your mind, renew your spirit and strengthen your soul – Babz

Dreaming With Your Eyes Wide Open Is Self Empowerment

As children you believe that your parents are invincible, indestructible, and that they will never let you down.  Then the unthinkable happens and they do.

Then when you are older and you think wiser, you fall in love for the first time.  As you view this person through rose colored glasses, seeing no faults, but only the perfection of your love, you place them upon a pedestal thinking that they will never hurt you.  Then the unimaginable happens, and they break your heart.

It isn’t your parents or your best friend, or your first love that let you down.  It is your own expectations, which were unreal.  You are broken hearted by your own projections of who who you wanted them to be, which was something that no one could live up to.

“The strongest source of empowerment is that which we find within ourselves” – Brett Blumenthal

What you discover is that it is unfair to put someone else in charge of your life.  It is unfair, because each person is responsible for themselves.  Handing it off to someone else will only hurt both them and you.  When you build your house upon the foundation of your soul, and take it’s direction, then you can add those you love to connect to your souls home.  You add your spiritual beliefs, your family, your friends, your career – everything you want in life, but the empowerment that comes from that foundation is what makes everything run.

“I came to believe that my identity goes beyond the outer roles I play.  It transcends the ego.  I came to understand that there is an Authentic “I” within – an “I AM”, or divine spark within the soul” – Sue Monk Kid

The roles you play, being a wife or husband; being a mother or father; being a son or daughter, being a grandmother or a grandchild – those roles can make you happy, but they are not the source of the happiness.  The source of the happiness comes from within.  Otherwise you are burdening your happiness on the expectations of those roles, burdening your loved ones unfairly with the responsibility of making you happy.  That is dooming yourself to be the perpetrator of a broken family filled with trauma and drama.

“We simply can’t control what comes out of people’s mouths.  However, we can control how we feel about what they say”  – Scarlett Jones

The same thing is true for your friends and those you work with.  You can’t base your happiness on what those around you say or do.  Or don’t say or do.  Have you ever worked really hard on a project at work, and no one noticed your brilliance?  Were you trying to be brilliant to have others laud you, or because you loved exceeding the expectations of others?

I love it when someone notices I did a good job, beat the deadline, came in under budget, etc.., but it needs to be for your own empowerment that you feel good about it.  Then if someone else does notice, that is whipping cream on the dessert, good when it is there, but not necessary to be enjoyed as a great dessert.

Have you ever planned a trip with the girlfriends and then were disappointed when others didn’t contribute and left all of the work for you to do?  What really caused the unhappiness?

Miscommunication, unrealistic expectations of others?  What about if you come from the viewpoint of creating an experience of joy?  Being authentic enough to ask for help when you need it, without expectation of how the help shows up.  Creating from that place is a gift to yourself and to those others who will be there.  It takes all of the drama out of the experience, leaving a space of “WOW” for what is created.  It makes you vulnerable to the beauty of what happens next.

Using the analogy of the butterfly.  The caterpillar is vulnerable in creating the chrysalis, not knowing how it will all turn out.  Knowing that the transformation is necessary, doesn’t make it any easier to do it.  The butterfly is vulnerable as it fights to get released from the chrysalis, dry its wings so that it can take flight.  It is a beautiful creation that can’t see the brilliance of the colors and designs of its own wings.  Putting your own human thoughts into the analogy, this transformation into something new would be terrifying.

“Your authentic self is the source of your brilliance.  It’s the universal you – the person you always thought you could be before your fears and beliefs about what is really possible reined in this brilliant reality.  Getting in touch with the source of your brilliance and staying connected will make you shine every day.  Tapping into your intuition is how you will discover your authentic self and your true brilliance” – Angela Artemis

There is no manual provided when you tap into intuition and transform your life from the ego driven life, to the life of being self-empowered and fueled from within.  It is a journey of self-discovery.  It is scary and terrifying because you will almost certainly fall and have to get back up many times.

You also have the joy and satisfaction of knowing that it is your own magnificent journey.  There is a tunnel that you drive through when you travel to Yosemite National Park.  On one side of the tunnel you have beautiful mountains and trees and you think this is what the park is about.  Then as you emerge through the tunnel it is like arriving on another planet.  While what you saw before the tunnel was beautiful scenery, it pales in comparison to the vista that opens before you as you exit the tunnel.

Discovering your true authentic self and living from that place is like coming out of that tunnel.  You thought you were happy before, but it pales in comparison to the true source of happiness when you live from within.   Your soul becomes visible to yourself and others.  It opens the door to soul to soul connections.

Have you ever met someone and it is like you’ve known them your whole life in 5 minutes?  That is a soul to soul connection.

Every day you connect, lose connection and reconnect to that brilliance of your soul’s intuition.  You learn to believe in your future self.  It is like the beauty of that butterfly taking flight.  Miracles take place every day.  Tap your true potential.  Spread those wings and fly.

As always, LemonadeMakers is here to help if you ever need someone to coach you to your magnificence.

Being A Warrior of True Strength

What I love about this quote with the photo I found, is the dichotomy of how part of her seems to be like the ancient stone and part of her is golden and light filled, looking like she is still alive fighting her battles.  When we are fighting a desperate battle, sometimes it feels like we can’t take one more step.  Like we have turned to stone.  Like the internal battle between what we know we have to do (taking the next step) and how we feel (we can’t move another step) is literally dividing us and tearing us in two.

Remember how far you have come, all the battles you have won, the fears that you conquered, and tell that person who is trying to bring you down to go to hell.

  – Unknown

We all have several groups or individuals who tear us down.  Those well meaning friends and loved ones who don’t want to see us get hurt, so they tells us that we can’t or shouldn’t try to be successful in our chosen endeavor.  That we are risking too much.  That we are doomed to fail.  That it is impossible, so why take the chance of evitable failure?

Be the person who stays strong even when you have every reason to break down.

  – Unknown

Then there is that group that just can’t bear for someone to be successful and so they tear down others to make themselves feel better.  They are too afraid to take any kind of risk that would have the potential of making them look bad.  Bullies fall into this category.  They can’t stand seeing someone better at something than they are, so they tear you down whenever you show any desire to have a better life or be a better person.

Our greatest battles are those with our own minds.

  – Jameson Frank

And lastly the worst group of all, our own minds.  That voice inside of our head that tells us all of the reasons why we shouldn’t try.  That reminds us of every failure we have had starting at birth and going forward through time to this very moment.  That tells us the horror story of everyone who has tried and failed in the history of mankind.  That voice that will not shut up and that we can’t escape from.

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.

  – Margaret Thatcher

It doesn’t matter how many battles we fight and lose.  It doesn’t matter how many battles we have to fight over and over again.  What matters is that we fought. That we learned something from it.  That we not only survive the battle, but that we thrive after we have either won or lost it.  I heard this analogy and I loved it.  Everything comes out in the wash!

Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.

  – German Proverb

Every problem that we see as something that will take us out of the battle, that seems insurmountable, think of the problem like a washing machine.  The problem may twist us in a knot, it may spin us around until we lose our balance and fall down.  It may knock us down the hillside, and as we roll through the mud, as the rocks cut at us, and the nettles sting us, in the end, we will come out cleaner, brighter and better than before we entered the wash.  This is because “everything comes out in the wash”.  Meaning that coming out the other side, meaning that whether we win or lose, we were not defeated.  We are only defeated when we quit.

In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.

  – Unknown

I love this!  All you have to do is watch commercials to see how profitable self doubt is.  We are taught to have a “lack mentality”.  The saying that you can’t be rich enough or skinny enough, or beautiful enough.  That we need to spend more money on things, to have the latest cars, the latest gadget, to sculpt our bodies with surgery, to move to a bigger and more expensive home, to ask our doctor for the latest designer drugs that have more side effects than the issues they are supposed to cure.  All ways to make us happy, when none of those things will make us happy.  The place to start is to love ourselves and then build from that space the life that spreads that happiness out into the world.

When life demands more of people than they demand of life – as is ordinarily the case – what results is a resentment of life almost as deep-seated as the fear of death.

 – Tom Robbins

I was asked today what LemonadeMakers is all about.  This quote really states it pretty well.  When my nephew was murdered, and when anyone in life has such a life shattering moment occur, you really have two choices.  You can demand more of yourself, and surmount the problem.  If you don’t, then the second choice is defaulted to.  You fall into resentment, victimhood, depression, etc. . , you stop living life and you start existing until death takes you out of life.  I didn’t want our family to fall into that deep crevasse and be buried alive until they died.  I wanted us to transform what had happened to us, into something that happened for us.  I wanted to bring something positive out of that debilitating experience and share it with you.

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.

  – Charles Swindell

Successes in life come from struggles.  The butterfly has to fight to release itself from the chrysalis.  If you open it up, the wings become deformed and it can’t fly.  We are the same.  The fight to transform life’s lemons into lemonade is what strengthens us and makes the transformation more than a temporary change.  When we have struggled to fight the inner demons; when we have fought the uphill battle of addiction; when we have taken step after step through the mud and swamps of personal failures – we know that we will never, ever, go back there.  That we will never again, ever, allow anyone to make us feel like we aren’t worthy of a seat at the table.

“Too many times we stand aside

And let waters slip away

’til what we put off ’til tomorrow

Has now become today

So don’t you sit upon the shoreline

And say you’re satisfied

Choose to chance the rapids

And dare to dance the tide . . “

  – Unknown

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Who Are You Becoming?

We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.

  – Max Depree

I love to read great books.  I have love affairs with the characters, watching them undergo their transformational hero’s journeys through the pages to the end of the story.  I get great ideas from the authors words, that send me speeding down the side roads of my own life.  Every year I look back at what in my life I shed like an old skin, and what ways I have changed as I try to improve my own life.

The most important question to ask is, “What am I becoming?”

  – Jim Rohn

I have a rule, that I can’t bring a new thing into my house, unless I let go of something that is already there.  I love to send boxes to the goodwill or some other second hand store.  I think about the clothes I give away as going to a new person who will enjoy them just as much as I did.  I think about the books I have read, laughing and crying my way through them and how they will stir the emotions of another reader.

I love the person I’ve become, because I fought to become her.

  – Kaci Dianne

In this same way, I look at my beliefs, my habits, my lifestyle.  When I want to get healthier, work on improving my finances, grow in my own self knowledge, I realize that in order to make these transformational changes in my life, I have to let go of something that is no longer serving me.  I have to step outside the comfort zone and pay the tolls to walk down a new path, to undertake a new journey.

I know not who I am, simply that I am forever becoming exactly what I am meant to be.

  – Becca Lee

There is so much more to us than we are aware of.  I like the word developing.  Like the developing of film.  When we look outside and take in a scene, there are certain things that attract our attention.  We miss most of the scene we are looking at because we simply see what our filters let us see.  But if you snap a photo and enlarge it and go over it and over it, there is so much more there than we were aware of.  If you were to grid out the photo and examine each block of the grid, you would probably see insects, birds, small animals and lots of plants.  You would look deeply into the shadows to see what is hidden in the semi darkness.

Dear Self,  This is going to be your year.  So dust off your sh*tkickers and let’s get started.  All my love, Me

  – Unknown

Taking that same view into our own personal lives can be a real eye opener.  We are all worthy of being fully developed into the magnificent beings that we are capable of being.  I remember that when I was growing up I had two of my sisters and my brother develop into artists through classes in school.  I can’t draw a stick figure and I was always jealous.  My mom always wished she could draw and paint like they could.  Sometime in her early 50’s she was talked into taking an art class with her best friend.  I have hanging on my wall in the living room a painting that she did.  It is amazing that what she discovered and developed from one art class, is that she could in fact draw and paint.

Always go with your passions.  Never ask yourself if it’s realistic or not.

  – Deepak Chopra

Inside of all of us are these amazing talents we don’t know we have.  We just haven’t taken the time and energy to do that thing we always wished we could do.  We just don’t have the confidence and courage to step out and take the chance that we might be really good at something that we think we are terrible about.  We just haven’t decided what is behind fears door #1, #2 or #3. 

Think of three things what you have always wanted to learn how to do – play a musical instrument, learn how to dance, learn a craft of some sort, paint, pottery, woodcraft – whatever it is.  Now take photos of those things and paste them on a piece of paper and then cut out some doors from a magazine and tape the doors over the three things you have always wanted to learn how to do.  Now just sit there and free write all of the “reasons” why you can’t learn about what is behind door #1, then do the same thing for door #2 and #3.

I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life.  If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it fullspeed.  Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it.  Lukewarm is no good.

  – Ronald Dahl

Now I am giving you a magic wand that is called enthusiasm.  I want you to waive it over the three doors and grant yourself one wish.  Open up the door that most calls to your heart and soul and write down how you will feel when you are doing this thing.  I want you to write it in the present tense, that you have taken the classes or lessons and now you can play the piano, or dance the waltz or you just built a cabinet or rebuilt a car engine.  How happy and joyful do you feel?  Now go back to all of those “reasons” why you can’t do what is behind that door.  Cross through each one as you name the fear behind it.  Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough and so on.  Now go out and learn what you need to know to bring that dream out from under the bed, dust it off, shine a light on it, and figure out how to do what you need to do to “get it done”.

If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple.

Know what you are doing.

Love what you are doing.

And believe in what you are doing.

  – Will Rogers